Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Postpartum mental health check in and PPD/PPA support
BFing is NOT easy, nothing about it is. It's painful, frustrating, exhausting, worrisome, angering, sometimes humiliating, and can be isolating.
I also don't feel that "different love". I love him for sure. I'd do anything for him and my heart melts at times, but at 4.5 weeks, I'm still kinda in survival mode.
Here's how I do my schedule (most of the time) and all times are approximates:
- 6am wake up - feed DS
- 6:30am, (once he's done eating and asleep again, put him back into bassinet and grab a quick shower
- 7am grab coffee and either frozen waffles or breakfast sandwich or other really quick breakfast
- 7:05 - eat said breakfast and drink coffee in the living room over LOs head because he woke up, watch morning news
- 8:00am put DS into mamaroo for his morning nap, either sleep myself OR start a single load of laundry, wash the floor, clean up a single room (something I can complete in the ~1 hour before I'm a milk cow again)
- 9-9:30 milk cow
repeat until ~12
- 12pm heat up a quick easy lunch - think microwave or premade (ramen, canned soup, leftovers
- Rinse & Repeat until dinner (I usually take at least 1 nap here
- Dinner - after DS 5ish feeding, I start dinner (30 min or less meals, spaghetti, shake & bake chicken, tacos ect) I make 4 servings (enough for two nights)
- When DS wakes up in the middle of me eating, I rush to finish while he cries, then feed him and DH cleans up from dinner.
I put DS down in his bassinet after his 8:30/9pm feeding then grab a beer, set up my coffee pot to ensure I have the life giving liquid for the next day, take a deep breath and prep myself for bed.
At 11ish, I crawl into bed and hope to do better the next day.
Meals are are easy because they are either quick grab items, or quick make dinners. I get 4 dinners for the work of 2 (saves time, money, and brain power).
Laundry I have organized so I do 1 load a day, 2 on Saturday, and Sunday the laundry room is closed.
Its not perfect and not easy, but it works. I'm still exhausted, but I get a shower and a nap, a small bit of housework, and some food. Hope this helps.
Much hugs
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 since September 2015
@theshannondee I am so sorry to hear that!!! It sounds like a lot is going on. I think it's better sometimes to be numb than to freak out. When MJ cries for a while I freak out and that makes him even more fussy. Our dr says that no baby had died from crying so sometimes a good cry is good for them. How many weeks is E? Have you downloaded the wonder weeks app? Maybe he is going through a leap?
July16 JULY siggy challenge
so far this has been effective praying it continues this way
@theshannondee look at the wonder weeks app like @Kellyj103 said. AJ has been extra fussy and clingy for the past two days and it's the perfect time for his first Leap in cognitive development. It helps to know what is going on and I can feel empathy for him and no guilt or failure.
Thanks ladies. Glad I'm not alone. I have been watching the WW app for a few weeks now and he definitely seems to be in the tail end of a leap. I think that just compounds my feelings and the fact that things are different with DH right now and our routine. We have E's two month appointment tomorrow so I might ask the pediatricians thought on the WW theory.
It's tough that the thing that works to soothe the LO changes every few days! When there is smtg that works, that is... But for now it seems to be the carrier, so the carrier it is....
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DS#1 July 2016
Baby #2 July 2018
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DS#1 July 2016
Baby #2 July 2018
July16 JULY siggy challenge
I had a meltdown this morning at 5am. I'd fed LO and gotten her back to sleep, went and pumped, and then decided I'd try to go back to bed and get a little more sleep instead of doing some chores. But as soon as I crawled in bed DH woke up and started trying to feel me up. After a few minutes I finally burst into tears and said I just wanted to go back to sleep. I feel terrible and DH seemed a little traumatized by my meltdown, I just laid on him and cried for the remaining half an hour before he had to get up for work. Sleep is literally the only time no one needs anything from me and I was so angry that he was trying to steal that from me, but then the anger just made me feel guilty. All I could tell him was that I am tired. I think he thinks I mean I'm tired of our life, tired of him and the baby, which is not true. I just don't know how to explain to him how I feel. I am not superwoman.