Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
jwg9101
member
Re: General Rants
Eff you, Similac!
Charlotte, NC
My rant: my mom is absolutely convinced that I need every test and every treatment under the sun to prevent losing another baby. She kept on me to the point of me asking her to leave and warning the nurses about her when I was in hospital bedrest (trying to stay calm in the most stressful situation is impossible when you feel like you're trapped listening to your mom telling you you're not doing everything you can when you know you are). Yesterday we went to see our baby's new gravestone and I sent them a picture because I knew they would want to see it. I had no idea it would open the floodgates of advice again. The crazy thing is I'm actually in the medical field and she is not! I was blessed with the ability to talk with several OBGYNs and high risk doctors whenever I want since I know so many here. Everyone is in agreement but she's not satisfied with that. I don't know how I'll deal if she's like this with future pregnancies. I told her today if she doesn't stop then she can expect not to know next time I get pregnant until 3rd trimester (we lost our little girl at almost 25 weeks) except I know that won't be possible. Advice anyone???
My mom called me last night to let me know my cousins had their baby...well good for them...Glad they got to have their baby and I didn't....
Wow, reading that just made mess angry for you! It was so awful that it seems like it couldn't even be REAL that someone could be that insensitive and horrific. I'm seriously so sorry. And why would you need any of that information more than once??? (ie. I can't believe she's texting you weekly). I'd be distancing myself as much as possible. Just brutal.
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
Married: 11.12.11
TTC: Nov 2015
BFP #1: 1.22.16 MMC: 2.29.16 ( tetrasomy 11, partial deletion 1, XXX)
D&C: 3.2.16
BFP #2: 4.14.16 CP: 4.17.16
BFP #3: 6.10.2016 CP: 6.17.2016
RE appt: 6.27.2016- saline sono all clear
Chromosome karyotype- Normal both me and DH
Progenity: + carrier Tay-Sachs, Gaucher's, hemachromatosis. DH: carrier Alpha 1 anti-trypsin
Clomid + TI Cycle #1: pending 8.15.16
Fur mom to 2 sled masters: an Alaskan malamute and a malamute wolf hybrid
half marathon running, surgery loving trauma hand and reconstructive plastic surgery PA-C
PCOS, hypothyroid, MTHFR, hx of LEEP in 2006
@SnobunnieMel it's hard to believe that people can be so horrible, it's hard to believe that my own family can be so curel. She's gotten everything she wants her whole life, I've worked my butt off with little to show. She can have a baby at the snap of a finger, it has taken me years, and I lose it.
My rant is much more petty. I'm really annoyed at Aldi. For awhile now they have "announced" and have been "expecting" with all these cutouts and floor stickers their new baby line of products. And now it "has arrived". I'm not sure I will ever find stuff like that cute anymore.
TW: Loss
@mjolk I don't go to Aldi because it makes me sick to hear They're "expecting" baby products.
Charlotte, NC
On a separate note, a rant really. I hate when you're watching tv and it has the pop up bubbles with little facts or comments, but half of the bubble or words are cut off. Example, I'm watching Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes, and half of the pop up bubbles with facts about the show are cut off.
Reading your store made me so sad for you. I feel sorry for your sister too, she sounds like she has some real mental issues. Family or not, I would probably stop talking to her after that!
Glad I found this thread though because I really need to rant! I am so tired of dreaming about babies. I hate waking up after dreaming about having a baby in my arms. I was dreaming that someone gave us a 3 month old little girl (like left on our doorstep). I woke up after dreaming I was holding this little baby only to be reminded with the fact I won't have my own baby in my arms anytime soon. I can't even talk to MH about it because he 'doesn't' dream and doesn't understand why a dream would bother me. And it's been every night I'm having these damn baby dreams.
so so angry that my family is already talking about how to "handle" the thanksgiving plans being that I can't be around my pregnant SIL without hysterically crying.
so pissed off that my due date is less than a month away and I'm not pregnant again.
still pissed that I couldn't lose the ten pounds I gained when I was.
Thanks for listening ya'll! Also @elm1032004 I'm angry for you, please rant to us any time! I absolutely thought about punching my SIL
ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp)
bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease)
ttcal May 2016
I really feel so sorry and sad. How can people be so cruel to you (to us) and even more, people from your own family!!! I would seriously consider cutting them off completely. It is you first! Your peace of mind, your mental health. Please take care @elm0262148 !!!
Something awful happened to me some days ago. I saw my awful ex at the theatre the other day. He was there with the girl he cheated on me with. This girl was my friend, our moms were friends and she was married to someone else when they cheated (we were engaged). And she was freaking pregnant!!!!
I couldn't believe it when I saw her with her pregnant belly. I was freaking out and making all sorts of efforts not to cry. I had to hide and wait for them to leave before I could leave. My ex was waiting for her at the bathroom door and I had to go past them to exit. Impossible!!!! My husband was at the pit so I had to wait a bit and call him to come all the way to the 3rd floor balcony, because I needed help walking.
These are two of the worst people I know, who hurt me, my family and their families so much!! and they deserve to be Pregnant? WTF universe? God, seriously??! I felt this was a mockery to my suffering and my efforts... DH was so very supporting and comforting though, I am so thankful for him.
I know I have to stop thinking about this, but I needed to rant about this with people who can actually understand.
BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
Oh No @yolandamunoz !! I'm so sorry that happened. It's not fair, plain and simple... I hope you can bounce back from this soon, although I know how hard it is. You don't deserve this, but hopefully the universe is sending you something positive soon!
Be strong! At least you don't have to have him ( a cheater) in your life anymore.
ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp)
bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease)
ttcal May 2016
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
My new rant: like everyone else here I get so frustrated sometimes seeing other who are pregnant who don't "deserve it". I'm very grateful I'm able to be happy for my SIL who just found out she's pregnant, even though we figured out she conceived within a week of us losing our baby girl. I really am very happy for her. What I have a hard time with are the girls like this one I saw today who isn't old enough to drink, has had drugs and been in jail recently, already has several kids at home, and is due any day with a flawless pregnancy. I am trying to trust God, but it is so hard to understand why He allows things to happen the way they do.
I agree sometimes it just seems that the people who least deserve it get pregnant sooo easily and people who would make great parents really have to struggle for it. It just doesn't seem fair. I know life isn't fair but it just seems like it couldn't be a little fairer?
A 4 year old girl was found with various bruises, scars, and ligature marks on her body. When the police asked what her name was, she replied "Idiot". These POS parents literally had abused her baby and convinced her that her name was idiot. I want to hurt them. Really badly. It's so unfair that any of us would have given her all the love in the world and yet she's had to endure nothing but heartache.
Charlotte, NC
it was really tough to go through this but my husband was there for me and we managed to survive this ordeal.
I've had some good test results so that helped me to feel better about our chances for future pregnancies.
i really believe that this difficult situations are meant to make us stronger.
hugs!!
BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
@elm0262148 no offense, but I really want to punch your sister in the face for you!
My little sister told me other day that I shouldn't give advice, and "act" like I am a mom (I was telling my niece not to do something, and she is pretty much my world and I am her god mother) because I am really not a mom, so how can I know anything about being one. This is not the mother of my niece, who came to my defense. I hate when people think, because I don't have children that I am clueless, even though I work with them! Needless to say I was angry and then cried in the bathroom.
Side rant: my mom insinuated that my 7 losses where because I was trying to hard and the stress made me miscarry.
Also, I tell people if that logic were true, that I should shouldn't stress and should "stop trying", I would've been pregnant 2+ years ago. I don't understand why some people can't quite grasp that sometimes there is a legit medical reason people don't get pregnant, or have a harder time. I find comments like that to be so sexist, nobody ever tells a man to relax and stop worrying or trying so hard.
Edit:words
Me: 26 DH: 28
TTC #1 since 06/2014
BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17
my rant of the day: when your Facebook is blown up by pregnant announcements and baby shower pictures
When he told her about our loss she told him to tell me not to worry, that "every single one of her girlfriends who got pregnant in their 30s had a miscarriage"
Now, I'm not sure what upsets me most about it but I think it's a lot to do with feeling like it's invalidating my feelings and fears. Plus also, my first loss was at age 24 so I've had two, only one was "in my 30s". And not all women who get pregnant in their 30s have losses, and I'm not even sure what the stats are or if I care. I don't know, it's just making me super cranky. Thanks for reading
And you know what else is common? Heart attacks, cancer, car accidents, etc. Would it ever be OK for me to tell someone who just lost a grandparent to a heart attack that "You know, heart attacks are a common killer, especially among the elderly...." No? That would be appalling? Then don't say it about my miscarriage!
@rainbowturtles I've had conversations about this with a group of women who have all suffered losses before. Our common agreement was that the only thing that is really ok to say after a loss is "Are you ok, and is there anything you need / I can do?" Anything beyond that gets hairy. It's human nature to want to 'explain' what happened. They feel if they can justify it you will feel better. But that's just not how it works. And for some horrible reason, people don't treat miscarriage like they do other losses.
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
DD Born 06/23/17
TFAS: April 2018
BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
Edit: to add lurking - I didn't realize what board I was on! Sorry ladies!
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
As @BitterBetty12 said, the only good responses to someone who's had a MC is "I'm so sorry" and "What do you need/What can I do?". Anything else is dicey.
@BitterBetty12 - the horrible reason it's not treated like other losses is because it's not "real" to anyone else. And unless you've experienced a MC, it's really hard to understand how your heart can miss someone you've never met and how much you grieve the loss of the dreams you had for that child - not any child, but THAT child. And so, people tend to dismiss it as "not that big of a deal". It's infuriating.
ETA: Sorry if this was a Debbie Downer post. It's been that kind of a week, and I'm only about a week past my first EDD. Harrumph.
I think the most hurtful thing anyone said to me was that I really only lost an 'idea' when I had my miscarriage. But that is so far from the truth. That baby was a part of me. I loved THAT baby. I wanted THAT baby in my life. It wasn't an idea. It was my child. Even people who were careful with how they spoke about my loss moved on very quickly and stopped checking in on me. It didn't happen to them, there was nothing tangible for them to see, and so they couldn't possibly understand how far reaching my grief was (and still is). And while I would NEVER wish this on anyone, I do wish that there was more awareness about not just how common it is to have a miscarriage, but how real the grief is for the parents who go through it.
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
DD Born 06/23/17
TFAS: April 2018
BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
and @RiverSong15 you said it! No one ever says such things like that regarding other losses. Thank you for setting a perfect example. Makes good comeback and I would be happy to use it to explain my grief to people who dismiss it.
this is helpful ladies, bring it back up whenever you need!
BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.