@izza2 That makes sense. I have no doubt that anyone who has experienced a loss feels it is a part of who they are now. I am willing to respect the overall opinion of the board on the TW issue. I was just glad it was brought up as a whole so we could have an open discussion about it. Until @MrsBinPA posted I thought I may have been the only one who had the feelings I did about needing a TW. It was refreshing to hear that I wasn't alone. And then it made me curious about the feelings of others as well.
I I guess my main point is that there will always be things that trigger me. But I don't want to avoid the topic because of those things. Even if I am triggered by something (which in my experience usually weirdly happens from random things that aren't even specifically loss related) I feel like it's important for me to work through those feelings in the moment. And one of the ways I deal with my grief is to share with others about what I have gone through.
I recognize that my way of grieving and processing things can look completely different from someone else's. And someone who benefits from not hearing about loss or being reminded of their loss unexpectedly has a right to be able to avoid that. I want this to be a safe place for people with loss and if continuing to TW makes that possible then I will absolutely do it. I want to make sure I don't come across as marginalizing anyone else's feelings or way of grieving and learning to live post loss.
@AliciaGoose - No, yeah, that's why I want things brought up, haha. You never know the "other side" or "other opinion" unless you actually talk about it. Like, I never knew anyone didn't like the TWs for loss before this, TBH.
@nwegman7878 - I did open a thread with a poll about what we use TWs for so that we can figure out what we really feel needs a TW and what we don't, in case things have changed.
I am fresh off a loss and it makes me sad to have to use a TW to talk about my life experience. If it helps someone else who has also been there than I am ok with a TW. But, it feels weird to have to warn someone about my own life. I definitely agree with @AliciaGoose above me in that I don't want to marginalize any feelings and there might be people who really need the TWs. But, I just feel like a lot of us have been through that and it is a pretty normal conversation to come up on a TTC board. For other TWs that might be less expected I totally get a TW. Like suicide or abuse or sexual assault. I would not expect to run across those subjects so a TW makes sense. But, having a pregnancy loss is something I would not be surprised to see in a group of women who are TTC. And seeing others talk about it is so healing for me because I know I'm not alone in my experience or feelings. Just my 2 cents as still a pretty new board contributor and a very new member in the "loss club".
Me: 28 year old SAHM/Birth Doula DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
Married: October 8, 2011
DD1: September 24, 2013 BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016 DD2: April 16, 2017 BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
Although I've not been on this board for more than a hot minute, as someone who has experienced a loss I do not feel TWs are necessary. As @AliciaGoose mentioned, it gives even more of a sense "something is wrong with me, shame, I should hide away all my ugly parts" mentality. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in a loss, at that rate it will affect more woman than breast cancer or cervical cancer, and yet society has made it a taboo subject. It is something that happens to us and shapes us,but it should not define us. By remaining silent about it or giving TWs who are we protecting really? The person who has miscarried who needs support and is being singled out by placing a "Scarlett Letter" on her comments, or the person who is uncomfortable with the thought of miscarrying? Because, yes it is a very sad situation to be in, but not being able to talk about it openly in a forum that is here for support is a bit of an oxymoron. I know there are specific forums for loss, but you can't throw away the bad parts of pregnancy just because its scary and uncomfortable. I understand that some might be having hard days, and I might be in the minority, but those were just some of my thoughts.
Sorry if I offended anyone.
Married 10.10.09
BFP 7.29.10 ~ DD Born 3.22.11 BFP 9.10.12 ~ MMC ~ D&C 10.20.12 BFP 2.22.13 ~ DD Born 10.23.13
I feel very strongly that we should keep the TW for discussion of loss. If it's a simple mention like "since my loss in the winter, I've been doing [whatever different thing]" then it's probably not necessary. But if there are more in depth discussions of loss experiences, then yes - I very very very much believe there should be a TW.
I whole heartedly believe that loss should be openly discussed in our culture, so loss moms aren't so isolated and stigmatized (and I say this as someone who has experienced two losses and yet only 2 people IRL know about them). And yes, it is unfortunately a part of many people's TTC journey.
But at the same time, the grieving and healing process is different for everyone and there are times when people just can not emotionally handle discussions of loss. Adding a TW is not at all silencing loss moms from discussing their experiences - we should be able to openly discuss how our losses shape our journeys moving forward, and no one is saying that taking about loss should only be on the Loss/TTCAL boards. But adding a TW helps protect the hearts of others who, in their own journeys, sometimes aren't able to participate in those discussions.
And if I'm being honest, when people say "it doesn't bother ME to see discussions of loss so TWs aren't necessary" it really rubs me the wrong way. @izza2 made a good point about how it relates to discussions of mental health - of course we need greater cultural openness in discussing these issues and I would 100% want any of our members affected (either personally or through friends/family) to be able to turn to the community for support. And it personally doesn't affect me if someone doesn't use a TW. But adding a TW wouldn't remove that openness or support, it would simply allow for someone to skip a discussion involving suicide if they need to.
Last point. I don't think this should be a "majority rules" decision like the WTO/TWW dropping the GTKY question. If there are members expressing that they would appreciate TWs for loss, we should use TWs for loss regardless of how many people prefer them vs how many people are indifferent.
We discussed this a while back about the term "baby dust" and emphasized very strongly that we don't use that term here - although I'm not personally triggered by it, I know several members who are and I would ALWAYS want to protect their hearts and respect their wishes.
The TL;DR: I've never seen discussions here saying we should remove the TW for loss and I am very strongly opposed to it.
TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow
Not specifically about loss, but about any painful subject:
@AliciaGoose said <blockquote class=" Quote">I guess my main point is that there will always be things that trigger me. But I don't want to avoid the topic because of those things. Even if I am triggered by something (which in my experience usually weirdly happens from random things that aren't even specifically loss related) I feel like it's important for me to work through those feelings in the moment. And one of the ways I deal with my grief is to share with others about what I have gone through.
I recognize that my way of grieving and processing things can look completely different from someone else's. And someone who benefits from not hearing about loss or being reminded of their loss unexpectedly has a right to be able to avoid that. I want this to be a safe place for people with loss and if continuing to TW makes that possible then I will absolutely do it. </blockquote> This. For me, all of this. <3
I feel very strongly that we should keep the TW for discussion of loss. If it's a simple mention like "since my loss in the winter, I've been doing [whatever different thing]" then it's probably not necessary. But if there are more in depth discussions of loss experiences, then yes - I very very very much believe there should be a TW.
I whole heartedly believe that loss should be openly discussed in our culture, so loss moms aren't so isolated and stigmatized (and I say this as someone who has experienced two losses and yet only 2 people IRL know about them). And yes, it is unfortunately a part of many people's TTC journey.
But at the same time, the grieving and healing process is different for everyone and there are times when people just can not emotionally handle discussions of loss. Adding a TW is not at all silencing loss moms from discussing their experiences - we should be able to openly discuss how our losses shape our journeys moving forward, and no one is saying that taking about loss should only be on the Loss/TTCAL boards. But adding a TW helps protect the hearts of others who, in their own journeys, sometimes aren't able to participate in those discussions.
And if I'm being honest, when people say "it doesn't bother ME to see discussions of loss so TWs aren't necessary" it really rubs me the wrong way. @izza2 made a good point about how it relates to discussions of mental health - of course we need greater cultural openness in discussing these issues and I would 100% want any of our members affected (either personally or through friends/family) to be able to turn to the community for support. And it personally doesn't affect me if someone doesn't use a TW. But adding a TW wouldn't remove that openness or support, it would simply allow for someone to skip a discussion involving suicide if they need to.
Last point. I don't think this should be a "majority rules" decision like the WTO/TWW dropping the GTKY question. If there are members expressing that they would appreciate TWs for loss, we should use TWs for loss regardless of how many people prefer them vs how many people are indifferent.
We discussed this a while back about the term "baby dust" and emphasized very strongly that we don't use that term here - although I'm not personally triggered by it, I know several members who are and I would ALWAYS want to protect their hearts and respect their wishes.
The TL;DR: I've never seen discussions here saying we should remove the TW for loss and I am very strongly opposed to it.
To the bolded, this is more what i was referring to when i said it was more of an annoyance to have to add a TW. When I'm in the middle of a post and want to mention it just like you said here, or maybe to describe how my cycle has changed because of that, I don't necessarily think we need to stop mid-sentence to TW about the word loss, or mc or something like that. I haven't seen too many posts on this board where losses were described in depth, but I do agree that if someone were to have that sort of discussion, a TW is not a bad idea.
ETA: Also yes, i 100% agree that if even a single person would prefer we keep a TW, then we absolutely need to keep it.
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married 2010 TTC since Nov. 2015 BFP#1: 2/8/16 MC: 3/19/16 BFP#2: 9/3/16 EDD: 5/17/17
I have not experienced a loss so don't currently have a dog in this fight, so to speak, but I agree with @mrsstuessy that on a TTC board discussions about loss should be expected, just like discussions about pregnancies, BFPs, children, etc. I'll defer to those who have stronger opinions, but those are my 2 cents on TWs for loss.
I definitely don't think people need to TW for their signature mentioning a loss.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
@BusinessWife I've never seen anyone using a TW for loss or telling new members to use a TW for loss as anything other than someone being polite. I realize that not everyone who has had a loss shares my feelings on the issue. And I know there have been days where I was especially sensitive when the TWs were probably nice.
@izza2@letyourheartbeyourguide I totally agree that if there are ladies who need to be able to avoid the topic or at least have a heads up to prepare emotionally that we should continue to use TWs. For me it's most just that pretty much everything I post now is in some way or another related to loss whether I phrase it that way or not. And it can at times make it difficult to discuss anything going on with my TTC efforts. But that being said, I'd rather skip posting a couple of days or have to creatively rephrase than to hurt someone who is already hurting after a loss. I think to remove TWs from loss it would really need to be a unanimous decision. Because, like @letyourheartbeyourguide said, I don't want the board to turn into a majority rules of "if it doesn't hurt ME then we don't need a TW." If everyone agrees that TWs aren't necessary then I'd say we should remove them. But really if even one lady says "I don't know. They really help me. Sometimes reading about loss is just too painful and I need at least a heads up." then I'd totally say let's keep the TWs.
I never meant for anything I said to come across as a "it if doesn't hurt ME we don't need a TW!"
@TheJerilu I agree on TWs about abuse, sexually assault, rape and that sort of thing. As someone who has been a victim of abuse and a victim of rape I'll say that it can absolutely be difficult to read about at times. I know for the first couple of years after everything I had really bad PTSD. I'd be triggered if I saw a car that was the same make/model/color as that of the guy who abused me. I'd be triggered if I smelled a shampoo or something that smelled like the hair of the guy who raped me. And, if we're honest, all these years later there I still can't use a shampoo with that herbal tea tree type smell because it triggers me. If my husband gets a little too rough during sex it'll trigger me. So while I'm not now generally triggered by a mention of abuse, sexually assault or rape I do remember a time when I was. And I still favor using a TW to discuss, at least in detail, things like.
But I suppose part of why I feel that maybe we should keep the TWs on things like abuse, sexual assault, rape, suicide, etc and remove them from loss is because this is a TTC board and not a victim support board. On a victim support board I'd make the assumption that any post could involve discussion of abuse, sexually assault, rape or any number of mental illnesses that can result from such events. And I think when you went to the board you'd have a good idea of what you may and may not see and you'd be prepared. On a TTC board you're just not expecting to see a discussion about a brutal rape or something. But you are, somewhat, expecting to see brief mentions of loss because sadly it's a part of the TTC journey for a lot of ladies.
I 100% agree that even if we decide to remove TWs from general, vague and brief mentions of loss (like "so I'm starting RPL testing now." or "my doctor cleared me to TTC again finally after my loss" and so on) that we should probably still keep a TW for detailed and/or graphic discussions. It's a little different to start giving a play-by-play of a natural MC or something than it is to say you're cycle 3 of TTCAL or that you're having some loss testing done or whatever else.
But, as always, I definitely don't want to be a source of pain for anyone. And I'm perfectly happy to abide by whatever rules the community as a whole sets forth in regards to TWs. I think we absolutely should make an effort to protect our fragile members and to make the board a welcoming, supportive and safe environment for everyone.
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
I feel very strongly that we should keep the TW for discussion of loss. If it's a simple mention like "since my loss in the winter, I've been doing [whatever different thing]" then it's probably not necessary.But if there are more in depth discussions of loss experiences, then yes - I very very very much believe there should be a TW.
I agree with everything @letyourheartbeyourguide said, and I think the bolded is an excellent middle ground. I don't want loss moms to feel like they can't talk about their loss(es) but I also don't want anyone, whether they are a loss mom or if they are worried about having a loss in the future, be upset by the discussions here.
I also agree that we should not adopt the "if it doesn't hurt ME than it doesn't need a TW" attitude.
I also want to add that people shouldn't feel like they need to censor what they write. @NamelessAria for example - obviously this is so central to your experiences and your path going forward, so I would never want you to feel like you can't talk about it or like you need to leave aspects out. That's why I've always seen TWs as a helpful thing - they allow for that open discussion and expression, while still allowing others to know it's coming and choose how they want to proceed.
If you or anyone else is ever unsure if some discussion is potentially "too much" or "too upsetting" for others, rather than avoiding it and bottling it inside I would way rather see a TW and a spoiler box. I obviously can't speak for anyone else, but for myself 99% of the time I will read whatever follows the TW but that heads up is nice to be prepped for it.
TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow
Wow. I've been away camping for a couple of days, so it took me a while to read all of this.
1) this is awesome that all these things are being hashed out.
2) I prefer separating the ttc questions from the daily WTO and TWW than separating the GTKY questions from the dailies. That way the daily threads won't be too boring but questions won't get skipped. Of course other GTKY threads can be started as desired too on top of the daily tww and wto:)
3) I agree that it should be unanimous about TWs not majority rules
4) weekly or monthly newbie threads sound good... Pros and cons to each
5) I like the weekly grad threads for the reasons everyone else has already eloquently stated.
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
I started the whole TW for loss discussion and completely agree that detailed descriptions should have a TW. I just think it is unnecessary to add TW at even the mention. That, IMO is marginalizing.
Just here to say that I second the idea that if it helps even one single person to have a TW label before a discussion about loss then we need to keep it. Because let's be honest - typing out "TW Loss" cannot possibly be THAT big of an inconvenience to you (if you are about to write some lengthy thoughts about it), especially considering the possibility of someone being totally caught off guard and hurt by stumbling upon a discussion about it.
I am not affected by seeing people talk about previous losses. (Since you guys wanted to know how we all feel)
I agree that we should not require a TW for the mention of the word loss. We have been mentioning other words without TWs, example here:
Rape, sexual assault, abuse
So why would we TW for another word?
It doesn't make sense to do this:
"TW: loss mentioned
When I had my loss in april, my first cycle was longer than normal."
If someone is going to go into detail about what they are feeling or physically experiencing, then I agree a TW would be good. But mentioning the word loss in relation to the rest of your TTC time, no.
Me: 27 years old DH: 27 years old Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
Married in July 2014
TTC #1 since late Feb 2016
BFP #1 3/29/16 MMC: 5/5/16 BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16 BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17 My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast: Juicebox Podcast Episode 118 A1Cs: 1/12/16 6.7% 5/25/16 6.0% 11/2/16 6.1% 3/22/16 5.8% 4/27/17 5.4% 6/13/17 5.3% "Sugar Fancy Tutu"
**lurker** TTA. The TWs for losses do help me. It's not that I want anyone to feel they can't be open with what they're going (or have been) through, but somedays I just can't. Some days, as anyone knows, are just harder than others.
**TW** While not the same, my reactions are similar. My daughter was born prematurely and it still makes my chest hurt when I hear anything relating to that part of our journey. Sometimes I'm great and talk to great length about it, other days just hearing those alarms or smelling hand sanitizer, or even just seeing someone pregnant is enough to turn me into a big, floppy mess!
Do you guys want me to go ahead and provide the link for the voting poll for these topics? It's all ready, I just didn't want anyone to miss being able to post about anything new this weekend...
Re: TTGP Board Discussion -LAST CALL before voting!-
I I guess my main point is that there will always be things that trigger me. But I don't want to avoid the topic because of those things. Even if I am triggered by something (which in my experience usually weirdly happens from random things that aren't even specifically loss related) I feel like it's important for me to work through those feelings in the moment. And one of the ways I deal with my grief is to share with others about what I have gone through.
I recognize that my way of grieving and processing things can look completely different from someone else's. And someone who benefits from not hearing about loss or being reminded of their loss unexpectedly has a right to be able to avoid that. I want this to be a safe place for people with loss and if continuing to TW makes that possible then I will absolutely do it. I want to make sure I don't come across as marginalizing anyone else's feelings or way of grieving and learning to live post loss.
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
@nwegman7878 - I did open a thread with a poll about what we use TWs for so that we can figure out what we really feel needs a TW and what we don't, in case things have changed.
The poll is here:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/9TKKFQ2
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016
DD2: April 16, 2017
BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
Sorry if I offended anyone.
Married 10.10.09
BFP 9.10.12 ~ MMC ~ D&C 10.20.12
BFP 2.22.13 ~ DD Born 10.23.13
July Siggy Challenge: Summer Fail
I whole heartedly believe that loss should be openly discussed in our culture, so loss moms aren't so isolated and stigmatized (and I say this as someone who has experienced two losses and yet only 2 people IRL know about them). And yes, it is unfortunately a part of many people's TTC journey.
But at the same time, the grieving and healing process is different for everyone and there are times when people just can not emotionally handle discussions of loss. Adding a TW is not at all silencing loss moms from discussing their experiences - we should be able to openly discuss how our losses shape our journeys moving forward, and no one is saying that taking about loss should only be on the Loss/TTCAL boards. But adding a TW helps protect the hearts of others who, in their own journeys, sometimes aren't able to participate in those discussions.
And if I'm being honest, when people say "it doesn't bother ME to see discussions of loss so TWs aren't necessary" it really rubs me the wrong way. @izza2 made a good point about how it relates to discussions of mental health - of course we need greater cultural openness in discussing these issues and I would 100% want any of our members affected (either personally or through friends/family) to be able to turn to the community for support. And it personally doesn't affect me if someone doesn't use a TW. But adding a TW wouldn't remove that openness or support, it would simply allow for someone to skip a discussion involving suicide if they need to.
Last point. I don't think this should be a "majority rules" decision like the WTO/TWW dropping the GTKY question. If there are members expressing that they would appreciate TWs for loss, we should use TWs for loss regardless of how many people prefer them vs how many people are indifferent.
We discussed this a while back about the term "baby dust" and emphasized very strongly that we don't use that term here - although I'm not personally triggered by it, I know several members who are and I would ALWAYS want to protect their hearts and respect their wishes.
The TL;DR: I've never seen discussions here saying we should remove the TW for loss and I am very strongly opposed to it.
@AliciaGoose said
<blockquote class=" Quote">I guess my main point is that there will always be things that trigger
me. But I don't want to avoid the topic because of those things. Even
if I am triggered by something (which in my experience usually weirdly
happens from random things that aren't even specifically loss related) I
feel like it's important for me to work through those feelings in the
moment. And one of the ways I deal with my grief is to share with others
about what I have gone through.
I recognize that my way of
grieving and processing things can look completely different from
someone else's. And someone who benefits from not hearing about loss or
being reminded of their loss unexpectedly has a right to be able to
avoid that. I want this to be a safe place for people with loss and if
continuing to TW makes that possible then I will absolutely do it.
</blockquote>
This. For me, all of this. <3
ETA: Also yes, i 100% agree that if even a single person would prefer we keep a TW, then we absolutely need to keep it.
Married 2010
TTC since Nov. 2015
BFP#1: 2/8/16
MC: 3/19/16
BFP#2: 9/3/16 EDD: 5/17/17
mommy to the cutest rescue mutt ever.
my chart
I definitely don't think people need to TW for their signature mentioning a loss.
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
@izza2 @letyourheartbeyourguide I totally agree that if there are ladies who need to be able to avoid the topic or at least have a heads up to prepare emotionally that we should continue to use TWs. For me it's most just that pretty much everything I post now is in some way or another related to loss whether I phrase it that way or not. And it can at times make it difficult to discuss anything going on with my TTC efforts. But that being said, I'd rather skip posting a couple of days or have to creatively rephrase than to hurt someone who is already hurting after a loss. I think to remove TWs from loss it would really need to be a unanimous decision. Because, like @letyourheartbeyourguide said, I don't want the board to turn into a majority rules of "if it doesn't hurt ME then we don't need a TW." If everyone agrees that TWs aren't necessary then I'd say we should remove them. But really if even one lady says "I don't know. They really help me. Sometimes reading about loss is just too painful and I need at least a heads up." then I'd totally say let's keep the TWs.
I never meant for anything I said to come across as a "it if doesn't hurt ME we don't need a TW!"
@TheJerilu I agree on TWs about abuse, sexually assault, rape and that sort of thing. As someone who has been a victim of abuse and a victim of rape I'll say that it can absolutely be difficult to read about at times. I know for the first couple of years after everything I had really bad PTSD. I'd be triggered if I saw a car that was the same make/model/color as that of the guy who abused me. I'd be triggered if I smelled a shampoo or something that smelled like the hair of the guy who raped me. And, if we're honest, all these years later there I still can't use a shampoo with that herbal tea tree type smell because it triggers me. If my husband gets a little too rough during sex it'll trigger me. So while I'm not now generally triggered by a mention of abuse, sexually assault or rape I do remember a time when I was. And I still favor using a TW to discuss, at least in detail, things like.
But I suppose part of why I feel that maybe we should keep the TWs on things like abuse, sexual assault, rape, suicide, etc and remove them from loss is because this is a TTC board and not a victim support board. On a victim support board I'd make the assumption that any post could involve discussion of abuse, sexually assault, rape or any number of mental illnesses that can result from such events. And I think when you went to the board you'd have a good idea of what you may and may not see and you'd be prepared. On a TTC board you're just not expecting to see a discussion about a brutal rape or something. But you are, somewhat, expecting to see brief mentions of loss because sadly it's a part of the TTC journey for a lot of ladies.
I 100% agree that even if we decide to remove TWs from general, vague and brief mentions of loss (like "so I'm starting RPL testing now." or "my doctor cleared me to TTC again finally after my loss" and so on) that we should probably still keep a TW for detailed and/or graphic discussions. It's a little different to start giving a play-by-play of a natural MC or something than it is to say you're cycle 3 of TTCAL or that you're having some loss testing done or whatever else.
But, as always, I definitely don't want to be a source of pain for anyone. And I'm perfectly happy to abide by whatever rules the community as a whole sets forth in regards to TWs. I think we absolutely should make an effort to protect our fragile members and to make the board a welcoming, supportive and safe environment for everyone.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
I also agree that we should not adopt the "if it doesn't hurt ME than it doesn't need a TW" attitude.
If you or anyone else is ever unsure if some discussion is potentially "too much" or "too upsetting" for others, rather than avoiding it and bottling it inside I would way rather see a TW and a spoiler box. I obviously can't speak for anyone else, but for myself 99% of the time I will read whatever follows the TW but that heads up is nice to be prepped for it.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
1) this is awesome that all these things are being hashed out.
2) I prefer separating the ttc questions from the daily WTO and TWW than separating the GTKY questions from the dailies. That way the daily threads won't be too boring but questions won't get skipped. Of course other GTKY threads can be started as desired too on top of the daily tww and wto:)
3) I agree that it should be unanimous about TWs not majority rules
4) weekly or monthly newbie threads sound good... Pros and cons to each
5) I like the weekly grad threads for the reasons everyone else has already eloquently stated.
Thanks for making the first of the polls, @izza2
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
Me: 39 DH: 40
Married: 12/6/2014
BFP#2: 10/28/15 MC: 11/24/15
BFP#3: 3/20/16 MC: 4/26/16
BFP#4: 7/15/16 DD: 3/18/17
BFP#5: 5/1/18 EDD: 1/12/19
I am not affected by seeing people talk about previous losses. (Since you guys wanted to know how we all feel)
I agree that we should not require a TW for the mention of the word loss. We have been mentioning other words without TWs, example here:
So why would we TW for another word?
It doesn't make sense to do this:
"TW: loss mentioned
When I had my loss in april, my first cycle was longer than normal."
If someone is going to go into detail about what they are feeling or physically experiencing, then I agree a TW would be good. But mentioning the word loss in relation to the rest of your TTC time, no.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
The TWs for losses do help me. It's not that I want anyone to feel they can't be open with what they're going (or have been) through, but somedays I just can't. Some days, as anyone knows, are just harder than others.
**TW** While not the same, my reactions are similar. My daughter was born prematurely and it still makes my chest hurt when I hear anything relating to that part of our journey. Sometimes I'm great and talk to great length about it, other days just hearing those alarms or smelling hand sanitizer, or even just seeing someone pregnant is enough to turn me into a big, floppy mess!
Do you guys want me to go ahead and provide the link for the voting poll for these topics? It's all ready, I just didn't want anyone to miss being able to post about anything new this weekend...
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023