TTGP Board Discussion -LAST CALL before voting!-

linzrunz · July 2016

I am loving the talk going on in this board. I'm very similar to @AliciaGoose (math nerds unite? Haha) in that I thrive more on rules and lots of organization, but I agree that too many rules can get restrictive. It can be hard to find a good balance.

I'm happy with any change that people suggest if it's something the board wants collectively. My two cents... I prefer the weekly BFP thread and would like to see that stay but I'm all for a weekly intro thread! It'd be nice to welcome the newbies because I am another one guilty of not reading the pinned intro thread. I am also in favor of more random/GTKY type threads.

Also... I love you all. This thread makes me happy to be a part of this community.

NamelessAria · July 2016

I also vote no on TW for children. I appreciate a TW for discussions of current pregnancies, losses and the like. But I've never personally been triggered by someone talking about their child. However any ladies who have had a stillbirth experience or something may feel differently so I'll definitely go along with whatever the rest of the community wants to do.

LadyMillil · July 2016

I don't think we need a TW for kids, but think we should use them for things like pregnancy loss, child abuse or death, and topics that may be triggers for some members. I don't think we need a list of TW topics and can just use our own judgement about what topics could be triggering.

NYTino24 · July 2016

First, I want to say thank you for all that I have learned from this board. I have taught so many others this information and understand my body so much more due to ladies on TB. That being said, it's interesting that this was brought up because I have seen quite a few people posting lately that are trying to conceive siblings for existing children or went through a MC and a lot of responses have been that the questions should be asked elsewhere because most posters had never been pregnant. I think maybe these are situations to be more careful about when responding because the board is called "trying to get pregnant" and not "trying to get pregnant for the first time" or "actively trying to get pregnant". Being benched / TTA can be just as frustrating as trying and getting not pregnant, or having a pregnancy that ends, so we should include everyone in my humble opinion. I'm also gonna throw something out there that's minor, but I think that spelling out the acronyms, at least in the WTO / TWW question may help encourage newbies to participate. I'm not talking necessarily about in people's responses, but in the original post that everyone copies. I know I not only lurked and read the guide, but I still had to Google some of the terms and I've seen people ask what they mean too. Lastly, there are a lot of boards and a lot of posts on each board, so maybe cleaning those areas up may help.

swanbrooner · July 2016

I know that I lurked, lurked, and lurked some more before jumping in. I lurked so much not because that's what the Newbie post said to, but because I was honestly afraid of unknowingly posting something wrong and having an angry mob of GIF pitchforks after me. It almost scared me away, but I don't have many people to talk to about TTC and really wanted to find that place.

As someone who is somewhat new and who did read and respect the rules, it is already annoying to see brand new posts asking about the possibility of being pregnant. It's just a giant flag of disrespect to an established community and entirely flame worthy.

However, there is no way for a newbie to know that most people on this board haven't conceived yet, and they shouldn't be flamed for that. This isn't a trying to conceive for the first time forum, even though that's the case for a lot of active posters. It seems like these ladies are given an unnecessarily tough time. I don't think suggestions for a different forum are rude, but these posts shouldn't be flamed automatically.

EDIT: mobile Bumping typos.

Everycol0r · July 2016

I enjoy drive by posts. Get to search through an assortment of fun gifs

NamelessAria · July 2016

I just have to comment on this:

I have seen quite a few people posting lately that are trying to conceive siblings for existing children or went through a MC and a lot of responses have been that the questions should be asked elsewhere because most posters had never been pregnant.

and

This isn't a trying to conceive for the first time forum, even though that's the case for a lot of active posters. It seems like these ladies are given an unnecessarily tough time. I don't think suggestions for a different forum are rude, but these posts shouldn't be flamed automatically.

Is this a thing now? I know I haven't been that active in the last month or so but... has that much really changed in the last month? Because I don't remember anyone being turned away from this board because they have a child already. And I have literally never seen anyone be turned away because they've had a loss. **TW: loss mentioned** I remember when I had to come back here from my BMB after my first MC. I, admittedly, felt a little strange about being back. It was weird to have posted a BFP and then have to retract that good news and be back TTC. And I was slightly worried how the community would feel about me being here instead of being over on the TTCAL forum. But I was absolutely blown away by how amazingly wonderful, supportive and welcoming everyone one. No one told me I didn't belong here now. And in all my losses since (I've had 3) I've never once been told I shouldn't still be here. Well, once by a potential new member but she didn't work out. I've never had anyone try to push me into leaving to go the TTCAL board or anything like that. And I know several other regular posters here have unfortunately gone through loss also. I've never seen any of them get flamed for being here after loss. **End TW**

I know we also have some regular members who have children already. And I know we've had several ladies who have graduated who have a child already. I've never seen anyone treat any of those ladies like they don't belong here.

On the other hand I've seen several potential new member show up and their first post is something like "hey ladies I'm TTC#3 and I'm worried because it has been 2 months of NTNP and I'm not pregnant yet. Should I see an RE since I'm clearly having secondary infertility? How long did it take all of you to have your third child after getting pregnant immediately with 1 and 2? Experiences please!" And I mean... of course a post like that is going to get mildly flamed. And even if it doesn't get mildly flamed of course someone is going to say "hey this may not go over well here and this isn't the best place to ask that honestly. You probably won't get a lot of success stories about people TTC#3."

**TW? Theoretical loss of theoretical made up potential new member mentioned for the sake of discussion**
I've also seen the posts where someone who has never posted here before makes their first post something like "Hey ladies, I've been TTC for 4 months now and I had a MC 3 weeks ago. I'm having <insert lengthy list of symptoms here> so I think I'm pregnant again. Thoughts? Experiences? How long did it take you all to get pregnant again?" And of course people are going to respond with things like "It's against the TOU to ask in a roundabout way if you're pregnant. And also a lot of us have never been pregnant so we can't share experiences on how long it took us to get pregnant again."

I'm going to completely agree that someone shouldn't be flamed for simply already having a child and coming here to TTC#2+. But I just don't believe that happens. And maybe it does and I've just missed a lot of drama lately. And if that is the case then just ignore me.

linzrunz · July 2016

To put my two cents in on @NamelessAria 's comment... As someone who already has children, I have never once felt unwelcome or unwanted for already having kids. I think the intent of telling new posters that the majority of the TTGPers are conceiving their first is just a heads up that they are likely not going to get very many success stories and then point them to a board that will have more of that like 1st tri. I don't think it was meant to be a "go away we don't want you here" type of comment. However, I can totally see how it could be interpreted like that because tone is a hard thing to convey in text. I don't think it's changed much since I've been here (end of February). I think it's more of the scenarios that @NamelessAria has mentioned where it's combined with TOU violations and the like.

swanbrooner · July 2016

@NamelessAria It is always the pop-ins and drive-bys. People who are TTC again in WTO and TWW are always welcomed.

It seems like people are annoyed (understandably so) by the drive-by, Google nature of the posts, but that's not what part of the thread gets called out. Maybe that's just what I've paid attention to or just picked up on.

MrsFL2015 · July 2016

However, there is no way for a newbie to know that most people on this board haven't conceived yet, and they shouldn't be flamed for that. This isn't a trying to conceive for the first time forum, even though that's the case for a lot of active posters. It seems like these ladies are given an unnecessarily tough time. I don't think suggestions for a different forum are rude, but these posts shouldn't be flamed automatically.

I agree with you about this being a "Trying to Get Pregnant" board and not a "TTC for the First Time Board." I don't think we are excluding anyone that has children, I think we're not as open to people with different circumstances. A good example was the recent post asking about success with the vascatomy reversal process. This is a situation that isn't common on our boards; however, that doesn't mean it isn't a valid and real concern when someone is TTC. Even though most of us haven't been pregnant, there is a possibility that someone on this board could have personal experiences and/or know someone that has been through this situation.

I don't think we should allow someone to posts questions like, "I want to get pregnant, how long will it take?" But, when someone is creates a post asking for advice/success stories/experiences with circumstances with valid medical concerns/issues, then we should be open to having those questions posted on the board.

Let's remember that we have regular members, but how many people read these questions everyday and never respond. It's possible that one day we can have a very specific questions about TTC (like vascatomy reversal, or a discussion about TTC after the pill) that prompts someone who has only lurked to respond. We just never know who is going to connect with a particular subject/topic and share some really valid information. Saying that the person might not get a good response is like saying, "You don't fit our normal profile" It does discourage people from responding or becoming an active member.

This isn't a member's only club that we join because we meet a specific TTC criteria or situation. These boards are public and everyday people are reading them to gain information.

LadyMillil · July 2016

RE TTC#1 vs TFAS - I hope everyone feels welcome regardless of which baby they are TTC.

I'm not sure I'm going to articulate this well. when a poster comes in asking for success stories (questions like I just got my Mirena removed, how long did it take you to get pregnant after?) it bothers me because if I was successful at getting pregnant I wouldn't still be on a TTC board, but I realize that is a me problem. I think that for the most part the regs are TTC#1 so I'm never sure if success story posts will get any useful answers here. I do think it is fine to point out that we are still trying to get pregnant here so it's probably not the best place to look for success stories but I also think we should also point them to a more appropriate board (tri boards?) and the standard response of "my experience has no bearing on yours/it can take months for your body to regulate/20% chance each cycle".

NamelessAria · July 2016

LadyMillil said:

RE TTC#1 vs TFAS - I hope everyone feels welcome regardless of which baby they are TTC.

I'm not sure I'm going to articulate this well. when a poster comes in asking for success stories (questions like I just got my Mirena removed, how long did it take you to get pregnant after?) it bothers me because if I was successful at getting pregnant I wouldn't still be on a TTC board, but I realize that is a me problem. I think that for the most part the regs are TTC#1 so I'm never sure if success story posts will get any useful answers here. I do think it is fine to point out that we are still trying to get pregnant here so it's probably not the best place to look for success stories but I also think we should also point them to a more appropriate board (tri boards?) and the standard response of "my experience has no bearing on yours/it can take months for your body to regulate/20% chance each cycle".

It absolutely drives me crazy when people ask that. But I think it mostly bothers me because there is absolutely no way anyone could possibly know how long it will take another person to get pregnant after coming off BC. All we can do is give general advice like "it can take several cycles for your body to regulate after BC. Or you could be regular the first cycle. It could take you up to a year to get pregnant and that's normal. Or it could happen the first month. Or anywhere in between." And I just feel like those answers are so general that they're easily Googlable or searchable on the boards.

I mean, I always try to be nice about it and all but... it drives me insane.

izza2 · July 2016

I don't think I've ever seen anyone put down or pushed away for having kids, but if anyone has felt that way, I hope they know that they're welcome here regardless of what number they're trying for. I agree with everyone who said this isn't the "Trying To Get Pregnant For The First Time" board. It just so happens that a lot of us haven't been pregnant yet, but we also have a portion of our community who have children prior to coming here, whether they talk about them on the frequent or not.
@NamelessAria - I can't speak for the others, but I think they meant more about the generic response that some people seem to give that their questions about TFAS should be asked elsewhere, because members here haven't been pregnant. It turns people away who aren't trying for a first, but for a second, third, what-have-you, when they see it said that they should ask somewhere else because this is the TTGP board. It's not always members asking about success stories, but, I know I've seen questions about things like how long others waited between children, if they noticed a clear O day while BFing... things like that, where our members who are TFAS can help and give their experiences. Obviously most of us aren't on to TFAS, but, we do have members who are, and instead of wishing someone luck and saying they may find results on (board name) - a lot of times the first response is to tell them that we're not pregnant and haven't been so they should go to the 1st Tri board.

In that respect - I don't see a problem with (tactfully) telling someone that they may get a better response about something in another board. But, I think where it can possibly go wrong is when someone's having a bad day or takes it a bit too far and flames someone for posting a question and mentioning they're TFAS and tells them that we're a TTGP board and if we were pregnant we wouldn't be here. I get what they mean, you get what they mean, but to someone who's new, it comes off as saying that no one on the board is TFAS.

Like @MrsFL2015 said - There are also questions that, although we may not have a large number of members who have experience with something - you honestly do not know if someone has personal experience or knows someone who has until that question is asked. Just because something wasn't mentioned previously, doesn't mean someone doesn't have experience with it. If you think someone can find an answer somewhere else, tell them so (again, tactfully), but don't shut it down so anyone who wants to share their experience afterward feels odd because you just said no one here has experience with it.

For TWs - I agree with you @LadyMillil. TWs are definitely needed for topics like loss, MC, abuse, etc. I just know that children have never been a topic that needed TWs in the past, and yet we have people who feel they need to use a TW when they talk about their children. I know the newbie guide mentions TWs and that they're needed for those things, but it doesn't mention anything about children, so I'm confused on where that came from and why.

AngelaPlus3 · July 2016

I have only posted a couple times, so I probably seem like a random. I just started trying to conceive in the last month, but I thought I would put in my thoughts anyways.

When I joined this board I poked around and checked things out, before just barging in with a post. I wanted to know what was okay and not, because that seems like common sense when joining a community. I do already have children, and I read the newbie thread up and down to find out if I could mention them and if they needed a TW. Once I found where it said it wasn't needed, I felt comfortable enough to post. I have been extremely fortunate in my journey of TTC with my first and second and ended up with one shot first try babies. My children are also extremely close in age. I don't feel the need to throw that out there or flaunt it because it is insensitive, and it has NO bearing on how long it will take for #3, or what this TTC journey will look like. With all that being said, I have never felt unwelcome for already having children. Thank you for that!

I do think we need to remember that this is just trying to get pregnant, and not first timers. When a post shows up asking for success / experiences, I have no problem with someone telling them they might have better luck on _____ board or that many here don't have the experience. I just think that maybe if it was also added" but some have or know someone who has and so hopefully you can find the success / advice / experience you are looking for". That might make the response come across less harsh and give someone else the chance to come in and talk about their experience.

On a different topic, I love the idea of GTKY or something similar as a whole group instead of just within WTO / TWW. I want to know everyone, and not just those that are in the exact same stage of a cycle as me.

A newbie intro thread once a week or however often. YES!! They would be more likely to get read and acknowledged here instead of in the giant old intro post. I would have loved to be able to intro on a post like that, and let you all know a little more about me.

Dilynne · July 2016

I don't feel like I have the right to an opinion as I still consider myself a newbie, but I personally enjoy the GTKY in the WTO/TWW threads because it gives people a reason to participate. I've seen a few UO or FFF threads where people say they decide to participate in the WTO/TWW threads based on the GTKY question. If there is not question, will people still participate?

That being said, I'm super open to change and am excited to see where things go from here.

clover28 · July 2016

My thoughts are, people will participate in the TWW/WTO if they want to discuss TTC things. I feel like that's what those threads are kind of about. If they don't want to participate, that's okay too, but I think people still will. If they are going there only for the GTKY, then the GTKY thread should be a hit!

I want to mingle with ALL of you on the board and discuss random GTKY things. I feel like my cycle never "syncs" with half of the board, and I want us all to talk. I know there's the daily weekday threads but sometimes I dont have a twatwaffle or a WTF and I miss out.

Marley629 · July 2016

I love the open discussion going on here and am looking forward to the changes that can come from it l. I just have a few thoughts to add.

i have never felt unwelcome because I already have DS but even though it wasn't explicitly said that a TW is needed, I have typically always included one just in case. i love this community or I would not still be here 10 months later but even then, some change is always good. And it's not like anything will be set in stone - if something isn't working, it can always be tweaked.

In regards to the GTKY..I like the GTKY in the WTO/TWW threads. Without it, I think they will get boring and redundant especially for those of us who have been here for awhile. Yes the GTKY questions repeat over time but I still enjoy getting to know the newer members and having them get to know me. why can't we have a GTKY daily thread in addition to those? Or a QOTD thread..just use subject QOTD Mon 7/4 or something. Anyone can post it and if there's a double post, GIF party! That way we liven the board up a bit without jeopardize the WTO/TWW threads.

Also in regards to questions being skipped in the WTO/TWW threads - I have found that when reading through these threads, if someone starts their post with **question in r/r/CS** it draws me to their question and I'm less likely to skip over it especially when in a hurry. I think a lot of us are busy and we bump in our spare time or at work when we should be doing something else lol so we are pre-occupied. I think pointing out in the beginning a question or CS request can help this issue.

GrabberBlue2010 · July 2016

I agree with @Dilynne in the aspect that I am still way too new to really say anything.
I do know that I love this place and I love how things are currently run. I would be open to having the boards open up to new discussions pertaining to questions that can/do get missed in the daily threads. But of course, they would all need to adhere to the TOU. I enjoy having the GTKY in the daily threads. But I also support having them on a discussion all on their own on a daily basis. I don't think I could have said it any better than what @clover28 said. There are so many awesome ladies that I see for a very brief amount of time because we are not all in sync. So having a daily GTKY where everyone can participate together in would be incredible.
I guess what I am trying to say is I am pretty go with the flow.

ReesaAnne16 · July 2016

I've been spending more time in TTTC lately, but as a regular here for about a year, I thought I would throw in my thoughts.

I'm so glad this conversation is happening, I've been discouraged by how increasingly unfriendly this board has been to newbies' questions in the last few months. Drive-bys aside, I don't think EVERY single question needs to be diverted to the WTO/TWW threads and I don't think people need to be chastised for not using the search button first. As someone else stated, even when you search for topics, the threads are often a few months (or years) old and then the newbie gets flamed for resurrecting a zombie thread. This just really isn't fair.

I would like to see more discussion topics & questions on the main board; the board is not even CLOSE to being cluttered. I like the idea of weekly boards, instead of daily ones (for example: I love reading the weekly graduation thread, I think it allows the TWW people freedom from seeing those posts if they are having a hard day, and allows people to read success stories for encouragement when they need them).
Maybe a weekly TTC topic to discuss? A weekly GTKY? I like the idea of the weekly newbie intro thread as well, it does seem like the intros get largely ignored at this point.

As someone who has participated in the WTO & TWW thread probably close to a hundred times at this point, it really does get old to keep seeing the same GTKY day come up again and again. I wouldn't mind a separate GTKY thread (daily or weekly) and have the daily WTO/TWW threads for R,R&CS. I think people's TTC questions are often missed in those threads because the GTKY takes up so much discussion.

Those are my thoughts, mostly just reiterating the good idea's I've heard so far

Sugargirl1019 · July 2016

I'd love to see these general info threads in the future:

1. What do you use to increase fertile CM?
2. Ovulation while Breastfeeding (for TFAS folks to share their knowledge)

izza2 · July 2016

I don't know about anyone else - but I don't think anyone should feel odd about contributing just because they're newer. We're all members of the community - whether we've been here over a year, or for a month. Everyone's perspective and opinion is needed and welcome.

TheJerilu · July 2016

This is me returning to the Bump after my trip:

I'll make an actual worthy post in this thread after reading through

linzrunz · July 2016

TheJerilu said:

This is me returning to the Bump after my trip:

I'll make an actual worthy post in this thread after reading through

You brought pizza??

Who has the ice cream??

also, welcome back @TheJerilu !!

TheJerilu · July 2016

@linzrunz
Just for you:

*Rolls up sleeves*

yaeger07 said:

I think we should stop encouraging new people not to post in the graduation thread. For one, seeing a mostly dormant graduation thread is pretty dismal and I think could lead to hopelessness in someone newly TTC. Also, I'm interested in the answers to the grad thread questions by people who have gotten a BFP, even if they are new. And they deserve to feel special too. No one is forcing you to respond if you don't know the person. The whole "regular contributor thing" is just weird. I agree that they should stay in the grad thread.

BusinessWife said:

Leave them in the weekly thread, but don't discourage people from posting there. Yes, you may get what seem like drive-by BFP's but who cares. People who have been actively participating for all of the three weeks it took them to get their BFP, God bless them, they should absolutely get to post there and move onto their BMBs with all our best wishes. If you're having a rough TTC day, just don't even go there. To me, I think it's more depressing to see that thread just be dead on the fourth page of threads like, "wth is NOBODY getting KU over here, or what?" I can think of one member I consider a regular who has been here about as long as me, for sure, and she didn't even MENTION her BFP because the language on there made her feel like maybe she shouldn't be posting cos she hadn't been as active lately, and to me, that's not right.

@yaeger07 @BusinessWife I am 100% in your boat (boats?) with these opinions. I'm of the belief that if a drive-by posts in the Weekly Grad thread or somebody that doesn't meet x person's definition of a contributing member, than just... scroll past it. Per the meta thread a few weeks back, the community at the time wanted at least some definition of "contributing member", however, I did my darndest to not include a specific "if you're not here x weeks or making y posts than you don't count" in the wording. I think part of the fear was that, with the grad thread being new at the time, the thread would be inundated with a bunch of drive-bys, but that really hasn't been the case. I'd be totally game to eliminating that phrasing if another poll gets run for it.

@RedBreast35 said:

[regarding the potential newbie thread] I don't particularly like the idea of starting a thread with a bunch of rules and qualifiers.

@RedBreast35 I think having a brief ( I swear I mean brief, not my usual wordiness ) intro would be good once we get a shakeout of how the board culture should go after this meta thread. Something like:

Welcome to the Bump TTGP! We're a community based in science, snark, and support and look forward to getting to know you on your journey.

*First we suggest reading the intro thread, located here: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12588178/the-bump-guidelines#latest
*We suggest chiming in on the daily WTO (Waiting to Ovulate) and TWW (Two Week Wait) threads, as well as our various daily topics across the board. The WTO and TWW threads are a great place to ask TTC questions (as long as you don't ask if you're pregnant, which is against board rules overall)
*To find success stories, check out our weekly graduation threads, or swing over to the 1st trimester board, located here: https://forums.thebump.com/categories/1st-trimester

Now, give us an introduction about yourself! We can't wait to meet you

MelissaM090 · July 2016

Innocent question (and really, I do mean innocent, I'm not trying be a shit disturber), in reference to the idea of a weekly newbie thread - we already HAVE a 'Introduce Yourself Here!' thread. I know regulars are saying that they want to make an effort to interact better but do we really need a second thread to do that?

I do like @TheJerilu's idea of an introduction though, so maybe we can see about doing away with the pinned introduction thread? I just think 2 different intro threads, plus a massive newbie guide is a lot for a new poster to grasp, and it's confusing.

NamelessAria · July 2016

To sorta piggyback on your comment @MelissaM090 I'd say we don't really need an intro thread at all. I mean honestly when was the last time any of you thought "OMG I'm so freaking excited to go check the Bump for intro threads. Let's see there are.... 4! FUCKING JACKPOT! Best day ever. I love intro threads."

Intro threads are like other people's graduation ceremonies: they're mostly really generic and boring and you only go to them out of a sense of obligation.

And also: I've literally never read an intro thread where I closed it feeling like I knew the person.

I think what I'm trying to say here is that honestly if someone didn't do an intro and just started posting and participating in GTKYs and such no one would notice or care. So we don't really need an intro thread at all. And in that case the pinned one at the top is totally sufficient and fine.

ETA: Also, I've had several long-winded posts on here so sorry about that guys!

mrsdee15 · July 2016

I wouldn't mind doing away with some of the pinned threads, otherwise the newbie thread gets buried. I do think we should keep the Postpartum Preparedness thread, but I'm not entire sure the Secrets to Surviving the Waiting Game/How to Deal When Everyone Else is Pregnant threads really hold much info anymore - when I looked at it, it looked like more complaining than suggestions. I love @TheJerilu 's intro and also think we can get rid of the intro thread that's pinned if we change to weekly threads.

futuremrshp · July 2016

Exactly -- I mean I agree that sometimes people take tone differently. Someone did tell me to go to the 35+ forums or something like that before. Instead of making it a 'thing' (which it could have been) I just continued to participate. There's a lot of good information throughout all of the Bump. I took that to be the change I wanted to see... continuing to participate and seeing the good information that everyone is bringing. There are great suggestions/information/experience throughout. People are doing the best that they can to help!
Personally, I really like the GTKY parts of the WTO or the TWW threads--- If you're having a crappy day, it at least helps you get your mind off of the rant you just let out in the R/R/CS portion.

I got a lot of good book recommendations from it at the very least which was invaluable.
My thoughts is that there are quite a bit of rules to follow but I'm guessing that it's for good reason. I've only been participating in the forums for the past 4 months or so so I don't think I'm too qualified to come down strongly on one end or another.
I do like the Weekly BFPs... it's a fun round up of the week, rather than going through each day (which I enjoy and learn from each day!)

clover28 · July 2016

Whatever changes we decide to implement, can we try them for two weeks and have a vote after that to either keep it or ditch it? Or another conversation to talk about how things are going? I know we are all going to have opinions and not all of us are going to agree on everything, but its better to talk it out. Plus, I love this thread more than any thread ever (except for the BFP thread because those are badass).

izza2 · July 2016

MelissaM090 said:

Innocent question (and really, I do mean innocent, I'm not trying be a shit disturber), in reference to the idea of a weekly newbie thread - we already HAVE a 'Introduce Yourself Here!' thread. I know regulars are saying that they want to make an effort to interact better but do we really need a second thread to do that?

I do like @TheJerilu's idea of an introduction though, so maybe we can see about doing away with the pinned introduction thread? I just think 2 different intro threads, plus a massive newbie guide is a lot for a new poster to grasp, and it's confusing.

I just figured if we had a weekly intro thread, we'd unpin the pinned one, otherwise it's redundant.
But, I also shouldn't just assume things, haha.

clover28 said:

Whatever changes we decide to implement, can we try them for two weeks and have a vote after that to either keep it or ditch it? Or another conversation to talk about how things are going? I know we are all going to have opinions and not all of us are going to agree on everything, but its better to talk it out. Plus, I love this thread more than any thread ever (except for the BFP thread because those are badass).

I definitely agree that after a couple of weeks, we should have a follow-up discussion on the changes and see how everyone's feeling and if we need to talk about anything else or re-think some changes.

izza2 · July 2016

For intros - when we used to have separate intro threads, maybe I was the only one, but I definitely felt better after reading the intro. Like, obviously is depends on the intro and what's in it - but I usually would recognize the icon and username of the member more if I had an actual intro thread that I took the time to read and respond to (even if it was the generic "welcome! Hope your stay here is a short one!").
Which could probably just be me, but, yeah. I definitely didn't walk away like "oh yeah new BFF, I know so much now!" - but it was just... different? The intros thread being stickied just seems like a lot of introductions muddled together, and a lot of usernames and icons to look at and I don't ever remember anyone afterward, just because I feel weird responding to any posts there.

AliciaGoose · July 2016

@izza2 I still feel like the weekly intro with the wording @TheJerilu made is the best of both worlds. This way we can still respond to everyone but it's not a new thread for each person. And also it doesn't impose any rules on newbies it just basically says hey check out some of these things and introduce yourself! Like you I also assumed if we changed it we would un-pin the current intro thread.

izza2 · July 2016

@AliciaGoose - I understand, totally. I'm on the fence on it, but at this point a weekly thread is better than the big pinned one. At least with the intros there I'll feel better about responding to them, haha.

AliciaGoose · July 2016

@izza2 I agree anything is better than the intro thread!

MandyBeeSLP · July 2016

I made it through all of it. Here are a few thoughts.

1) Relating to GTKY: I can't talk about TTC all the time. I've seen a lot of people really focusing on that for the TWW/WTO and starting questions boards and stuff. I think the TWW/WTO boards would be very boring without a GTKY, even when they are redundant, you are interacting with new people and learning about them. Without that, there really won't be a sense of community. Other thoughts on this
- No one should feel obligated to respond to everyone, or anyone. If something strikes a chord with you, respond.
- Why can't we have BOTH, GTKY in the boards and a weekly GTKY for everyone so that we GTK people who are opposite us on cycles?

2) Relating to Newbies: I've already said this, but I like intros. I disagree with whoever said they didn't see value in them. When I was a newbie the newbie thread is what roped me into the community, you don't always know how to join the TWW/WTO when you really are new. I wasn't temping, hadn't read TCOYF, and didn't know the first thing about CM. I think a weekly thread is a good compromise between individual threads and the intro graveyard that is the pinned thread.

2b) Being nice to newbies: This has always been a problem because newbies often make mistakes. Try to be nice, even if they goof. I find the "bye" gifs to be very rude unless they are insulting the community. You can always explain why their post doesn't conform to board rules nicely.

3) Relating to BFPs; A History: When I joined TB, BFPs were individual threads (what someone called AW threads). It was controversial and we had some great regulars who just disappeared without announcing and that was a shame.Then we switched to TWW to be more sensitive to people who were struggling and because we felt it sent the wrong impression to drive-bys. Fast forward to when I rejoined and we have the weekly thread which I think is perfect. There should be no time-limit placed on people posting there. Better to have a drive-by post there and get no love-tits then post their own thread.

KirstinH88 · July 2016

I second @MandyBeeSLP

PurpleRains · July 2016

What @MandyBeeSLP said.

mrsstuessy · July 2016

Holy cow... I come back to all of this. I am slowly working my way through all of this. I don't have much to add really. I love this board! I seriously do. It has been a real lifesaver on some pretty dark days.
A couple thoughts (even though I haven't yet read every single thing on here)
-I like GTKY in the WTO/TWW threads. But, I also like the idea of a general board GTKY so I can know everyone on the board.
-I don't really love intros, to be honest. But, I don't hate them either. I can easily skip over them if others like the idea of more intros.
-I love the weekly graduation thread. I didn't love the idea, to be honest, when it just started. But I really like it now.
-TW for kids is a bad idea. I am TFAS and my daughter is just a part of my life. Now, I understand not needing to go on and on and on about her. But, I will mention her, because I am mostly a SAHM and I don't really do much else. So, that is like 90% of my life. There have been some times when I wasn't sure about making certain comments because I already have a child. But, members of this board have been super nice about it. So, I am not to nervous about that anymore.

TW (loss)
I just came back from a CP and honestly a small silver lining to the whole thing, was that at least I have this board again. At least you ladies will understand and encourage me and keep me going. So, I don't think we need to be super caught up in all the rules. I think we are doing a lot right. Also, if there is anything I really need to know like RIGHT NOW about any changes please can you let me know. I just can't read every single thing right now.

PurpleRains · July 2016

@mrsstuessy I'm so very sorry about your loss! Please DM me if you need to talk/rant/rave. You are in my T + P.

ChaoticWolf · July 2016

*lurker, also siggy warning*

I just wanted to say that I love that this conversation is happening! I hope that all you current members of the community can come together and figure out how you want this shizz to be run.

Also: How I feel when lurking right now, lol!

TTGP Board Discussion -LAST CALL before voting!-

Re: TTGP Board Discussion -LAST CALL before voting!-

Choose Another Board

Search Boards