U/O Thursday

Heathereaddy · May 2016

What I call an AW post is posting a cryptic message on Fb about going to or being at the hospital. Also, I hate seeing Fb posts of people lying in bed looking sickly with tubes and shit up their noses. There are few people on fb that actually genuinely care about your wellbeing. Those messages should be reserved for family and close friends and not via social media.

Edit:typo

TiffRox81 · May 2016

@YeezusButters I love your hair cut!! I'm a big fan of the a line bobs. It's my typical cut but right now is a little longer than that.

danjoly · May 2016

@Heathereaddy lucky you if you have never been that person looking sick with tubes in a hospital bed, but I have been and posted picture with no shame to get support and prayers. It's not about being AW. It's about going through a really bad time and feeling really isolated in a hospital bed! Social media is often one of the only way to stay connected in time of crisis

Heathereaddy · May 2016

Sure but in my experience it's always the same people over and over And the information they provide is something like "going to the hospital. Hope I'm ok" which begs for people to ask you more questions. I don't see that as genuinely wanting support. I see that as wanting people to inquire about what's wrong with you.

PhoebeJune1984 · May 2016

danjoly said:

@Heathereaddy lucky you if you have never been that person looking sick with tubes in a hospital bed, but I have been and posted picture with no shame to get support and prayers. It's not about being AW. It's about going through a really bad time and feeling really isolated in a hospital bed! Social media is often one of the only way to stay connected in time of crisis

Do you need to post a picture though? Why not just do a status post, mentioning that you are going through X,Y,Z....and asking for thoughts and prayers?

UO: If someone posts a picture like that, I feel that they are AWing. Post a status message if you want support....but posting a picture of yourself looking pathetic in a hospital bed, just gets an eye roll from me, for being all AW about the situation.....

Jodi1980 · May 2016

TiffRox81 said:

@YeezusButters I love your hair cut!! I'm a big fan of the a line bobs. It's my typical cut but right now is a little longer than that.

Okay, i just read this as "I love your haircut!! I'm a big fan of the a line boobs."

Image: https://i.giphy.com/Wm66dt4ucFFWo.gif

Goes right up there with love tits for me

Heathereaddy · May 2016

I completely agree @PhoebeJune1984

KatieBird0106 · May 2016

Heathereaddy said:

Sure but in my experience it's always the same people over and over And the information they provide is something like "going to the hospital. Hope I'm ok" which begs for people to ask you more questions. I don't see that as genuinely wanting support. I see that as wanting people to inquire about what's wrong with you.

I literally have three people on my FB that do this all of the time. Or they will "check in" at the ER and not say anything.

danjoly · May 2016

@PhoebeJune1984Well I guess it depends on how you see it! I post pictures of pretty much everything and I'm not putting a pathetic face either. Last time I was out of surgery and posted a thumbs up picture, all drugged up, but smiling and people were happy to see that I was doing pretty well under the circumstances. But I totally accept the AW title.

rnyland1 · May 2016

@Heathereaddy I get what you're saying about the cryptic facebook statuses being kind of AWish....BUT, when my son was only 14 months old he had pneumonia and it got so bad he had to be intubated and put on a ventilator -- he had the tubes everywhere and everything. I posted a picture of him on FB in his hospital bed hooked up to the machines because I was asking for prayers from anyone and everyone. Several people I hadn't talked to in a really long time actually called me to offer their support and I really appreciated it since I felt like my entire world was falling apart. I don't think there was anything wrong with me posting a pic like that on social media. And it turns out people DID care that weren't my family/close friends.

Kellyj103 · May 2016

Yessss! I don't like those posts that are like, "just got rear ended" or "going to the hospital" wtf call your insurance if you got hit, go to the hospital find out what's wrong with you and then post. My husband has family members that ask for "prayers" when the grandparents are sick yet they never visit the grandparents. That makes me mad. I hate finding out via fb that grandpa is in the hospital and that some asshole is posting about it just so her friends can comment and make her feel good about herself. I'm all for giving support but when I know it's not genuine I'm turned off.

also someone in my husband's staff would post selfies of herself looking pathetic in the hospital for "dehydration". She would send them to my husband to show she couldn't show up for her shift. If you can post endless selfies of yourself on Facebook not sure you're doing THAT bad.

thepen15ismighty · May 2016

Oh man, now we're going after people in hospital beds. I hope no one goes through anything traumatic and possibly getting people to ask them how they're feeling is the only way they might feel that people care about them or the crazy idea that they're reaching out to people they don't see all the time. If you can't handle the point of what social media is then maybe you should be deleting your accounts, not the people posting pictures.

Jodi1980 · May 2016

My two cents on the whole facebook/social media is no harm in posting or mentioning something as long as it's done in moderation. Just my opinion. There are just some people that want/expect instant gratification with a post or picture and THOSE are the ones that make it unbearable.
In regards to being sick in the hospital or critically ill, it all depends on the situation. Some people only have those means to post because they may live far away from loved ones and that's the only way necessary HOWEVER I feel when people are posting daily or hourly for that matter, it gets to be a bit too much and overdone, almost like a diary if you will, but for the masses. For those who just want prayers and to spread good knowledge of what is going in their lives whether be it happy, critical or a loss of someone, THEN DO IT but don't abuse it!
I deleted my Facebook last year because I felt some people where absolutely out of control with what they considered okay to post (mainly depicting child/animal abuse and showing things I'd rather not choose to see unless I wanted to click on them) Surprisingly it was easy and I haven't been even been temped to re-register. Life continues without Facebook! I swear!

rnyland1 · May 2016

If people can post a pic of their DD/DS sitting on a toilet with their pants down with a caption that reads "DD/DS pooped/peed on the potty for the first time today!!" (I have seen this multiple times on FB) I think we can post pictures of people in hospital beds, who might be legitimately dying and thus in actual need of support. In a way, every status/picture posted in AWish and you can choose to unfollow whomever you want or just not use facebook at all if you're offended easily.

HMcDade1 · May 2016

Is it just me- OR post what you want. Follow who you want. Block who you want. If you don't like something hide the post and move on. My social media is used for whatever I want to use it for. Pictures, complaining, AW posting or otherwise. Sorry but no one can dictate what's "appropriate" on social media...

TiffRox81 · May 2016

Speaking of over-sharing.....did any of you see the story on the father who "unknowingly" live streamed his son's birth via Facebook? I'm not sure how you ACCIDENTALLY share hours worth of footage. This dumb dumb lives in my neck of the woods.

BecauseBabyIamAPug · May 2016

HMcDade1 said:

Is it just me- OR post what you want. Follow who you want. Block who you want. If you don't like something hide the post and move on. My social media is used for whatever I want to use it for. Pictures, complaining, AW posting or otherwise. Sorry but no one can dictate what's "appropriate" on social media...

This.
I only judge when they post a picture and the background is extremely messy. Not like a little bit, like an un made bed. But trash everywhere, or something like that.

ktomorrow · May 2016

If you care so little for these people or their travels (let alone illnesses) why do you follow them? Unfollow or unfriend. problem gone. I don't get the fake friend fb deal. Just delete em!

thepen15ismighty · May 2016

To argue a point about that @TiffRox81 we live in a society where I see more posts about death and distraction, yet the second a video about life is mentioned that person gets crucified? Arguing the two way street with that stuff.

thepen15ismighty · May 2016

Heathereaddy · May 2016

Yes @Jodi1980 I agree that moderation is key. I don't mind people genuinely asking for prayers. It's mostly the cryptic messages that beg for people to ask them what's wrong that are AW posts. People can and do post whatever they want and that's their right. Just like its my right to unfollow them which I do frequently.

TiffRox81 · May 2016

@thepen15ismighty I hear ya. He should
own it then, instead if saying it was done unknowingly. Again, to each their own, but that certainly isn't on my birth plan, hahaha!!

elenabrent · May 2016

If my husband live streamed this baby exiting my body I would murder him. But if my husband videotaped this baby exiting my body I would murder him. He's my support, not my videographer.

thepen15ismighty · May 2016

I didn't know he was denying it, he should completely own up to it. I'd have more respect for him if he said it was on purpose.

thepen15ismighty · May 2016

I don't have to worry about that because my husband would faint.

oandmplus1 · May 2016

rnyland1 said:

Personally I think the whole "photoshoots for every occasion!!!" thing has gotten way, way out of hand. Back in the day you could just go to JC Penney and spend $40 on portraits and you were done. But all these private photo sessions nowadays come with a pretty hefty price tag. That being said, I think the quality of photos is way better now with all these private photo shoots and we are actually springing for newborn photos this time (we didn't do an official newborn photos with DS1) so I guess I'm a hypocrite. Our young, amateur photographer that we usually use is getting good and now charges $300 for the newborn session + digital images. Since I'm heading into unpaid leave, we decided against the maternity session as well. Plus, I just don't want much photographic evidence to exist of what I look like right now...

I agree. I love getting pictures of my kids on their birthdays, so I bought a nice camera and take pictures myself. They obviously aren't the same quality, but we spend money once a year for a good photographer to do the whole family (with individual shots of the kids included). I feel like that's plenty. I might do a newborn shoot this time just cause the pictures I take do not even come close to a professional quality.

dolewhipper · May 2016

elenabrent said:

I created a private ig account for this pregnancy/family photos because I struggled with infertility for years and I didn't want to clog up my usual feeds with the stuff that might be painful for others to see. But a lot of my family and friends are far away and want updates like weekly bump pictures and nursery pictures and all that shit. So the ig account gives them access to the part of my life that I waited so long to have and that they are all so excited to see. I don't think that's being an AW, I think that's just being excited to share my pregnancy with people who love me and this baby.

This. While I haven't experienced loss before, I know I was a rainbow baby for my mom and there are many women I know who struggle. While I love my BFF, I didn't want to follow the posting style she did with her pregnancy on social media which was bump pics every week, and now multiple photos of her baby daily. Not because I don't love her or her daughter, it's just not for me and that's all I was seeing when I would look at my feed. As well, I couldn't stop but think about all the women who couldn't conceive and their feelings seeing posts like that all the time. I didn't want to put those women in a place where they had to decide between seeing my posts on FB and Unfollowing me because it was too difficult for them. A separate account worked and made sense.

Family who aren't are on IG are still pissed. I don't care.

oandmplus1 · May 2016

Here is my UO / question for you all then. What are you supposed to post on facebook if everything is AW? Isn't facebook in general kind of a AW thing.

I know I am guilty of posting pictures of my kids a lot, but my family who lives far away loves to see them (I'm sure some of my friends get sick of it though).

mamafox14 · May 2016

I just don't get why people care what other people post so much. My stepmom takes like a thousand pictures a day of my little sister and she posts a ton of them. Other people have commented that she needs to "chill out" or she's "overdoing it" but whatever man, my sister is fucking adorable, her mom loves her and wants to share pictures of her. I don't get to see her that often so I love seeing updates. And honestly, I wish it had been so easy to take pictures and have a record of them when I was a kid. There are whole years missing of my life where there are no pictures because the one photo album we had got lost in a move.

Long story short, obsessing over the "rules" of what is and isn't "acceptable" is just another way to shame others. Just stop.

Heathereaddy · May 2016

I think you can post whatever you want on social media. It's for sharing experiences. I just roll my eyes at cryptic messages that implicitly want attention rather than just asking for thoughts and prayers. I don't mind seeing maternity photos, wedding photos, pictures of kids, dogs etc.

YeezusButters · May 2016

Whenever I'm feeling blue, I look up a particular individual from high school and reading his posts makes me realize how amazing I have it. So, that's nice.

elenabrent · May 2016

But can we agree that blurry, poorly lit photos of open wounds and/or poopy diapers are gross?

Jodi1980 · May 2016

Heathereaddy said:

I think you can post whatever you want on social media. It's for sharing experiences. I just roll my eyes at cryptic messages that implicitly want attention rather than just asking for thoughts and prayers. I don't mind seeing maternity photos, wedding photos, pictures of kids, dogs etc.

Couldn't have said it better!

thepen15ismighty · May 2016

oandmplus1 said:

Here is my UO / question for you all then. What are you supposed to post on facebook if everything is AW? Isn't facebook in general kind of a AW thing.

I know I am guilty of posting pictures of my kids a lot, but my family who lives far away loves to see them (I'm sure some of my friends get sick of it though).

Well, that's why there's an unfollow button on fb. If it bothers people enough then they should use that and stop complaining about it. They're worse to me than the people posting pictures.

erin7264 · May 2016

I find a lot of the newborn shoots with props kind of weird/creepy. Just baby is enough, he/she is adorable with out wings/crown/tutu/costume, but I guess it's the trendy thing now.

allthingscozy · May 2016

erin7264 said:

I find a lot of the newborn shoots with props kind of weird/creepy. Just baby is enough, he/she is adorable with out wings/crown/tutu/costume, but I guess it's the trendy thing now.

Call me creepy/weird then because i have no issue dressing this daughter as leia with some Star Wars plushes, or in a basket or with a tutu.

Maybe again just say it's not for you instead calling things a lot of people do creepy or weird...

[Deleted User] · May 2016

I agree with so much of this, I can't even keep up with the love tits. The biggest thing I have an issue with on social media is when a big life event is currently happening(wedding, person in labor, etc.) and someone takes to FB to write on that person's wall and demand pics or details. This just recently happened with someone I know. She went into labor and it went through the grape vine, and someone jumped onto her Facebook wall and asked for pictures as soon as the baby was born. The girl was pretty pissed because they weren't sharing on social media that she was in labor because they hadn't yet gotten in contact with all important family and friends. I've also seen pictures of brides posted without their permission before the wedding had even happened. This just makes me upset. Please let people share their own news in their own time! You never know if they've even gotten a chance to tell everyone who's important to them before you go spreading it around on social media.

ktomorrow · May 2016

@erin7264 I find newborns in general creepy so what can you do? Can't wait to meet my little alien. (Seriously baby girl love ya and you will grow out of it.)

I suppose that's a UO, but mine is really that I despise the concept of "baby name." Generally the hope is that your LO will live to be a 100, so that "baby name" sure better work on a grown person. It causes me physical pain to witness comments like... But I just can't see a baby with that name... Well, bless your heart, I can't see a grown up with that tots adorbs baby name ya got there, and that's a whole lot longer in their lives sweetie.

TiffRox81 · May 2016

@schaze I feel like that's just unspoken etiquette!! Bad manners on those friends' part.

thepen15ismighty · May 2016

I found a knitted Bruins outfit on etsy that I'm 90% sold on putting my son in for his pictures. Also, this onsie:

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