Anyone else get the rapid fire of questions - due date , boy or girl , name ? It's like woahh!
Every day. And I really hate the name question because we haven't agreed on one yet. And people are like "You don't have a lot of time! You better pick a name!"
Really? I had no idea I needed to name my child. Thanks for the reminder.
I don't like the name question either! What makes you think, cashier at the burrito place I'm buying lunch, I'd share my unborn child's name with you?
^^^THIS. The cashier at Target was relentless yesterday! Rapid fire questions followed by "what's her name?" THEN was offended when I didn't want to share! Lady- I don't know you, you're just an acquaintance!
Not EVEN an acquaintance! Someone I'm literally just trying to have a one off business transaction with.
Anyone else get the rapid fire of questions - due date , boy or girl , name ? It's like woahh!
I hate the name question too... so invasive. I always just pretend we haven't decided yet so I don't have to tell them yes, we know, and no, we aren't going to tell you what it is.
I just tell people who question why we don't share the name that we don't want other peoples opinion, and people keep their opinion to them selves once baby is here, but get very opinionated before baby arrives. That shuts them up lol
This is precisely why we don't share the name .... People are so damn judgemental on names before baby is born - which is something I don't understand its not their kid nor does it effect their life.
I hate the name question. I was sharing for a bit but I stopped. Her name will be Lucine ( pronounced Loo-Seen in case there is any question on pronunciation) With the nickname Lucy. Its Armenian and I'm really pleased to get an Armenian name that DH likes. When I told people the name I would get "Lucille is a great name!" "No it's Lucine" " Oh, what kind of name is that?" Or "Lucy?" "No, Lucine" "Lucille?" "LuciNNNNNNNe with an N" ugh! lol Every time it has made me question if it's the right name but we are sticking to our guns!
We tell everyone who asks that we're naming the baby after them. People get excited enough about that idea that even though they know it's a joke they start talking about that instead - and also usually get that we're also just saying we're not going to tell them.
At Target today I asked if they could print out my completion coupons since my computer at home is on the fritz and my phone was low on battery. The lady at customer service was super nice...until she saw that I had put April 20th as the due date (it was our original RCS date, but we moved it back because everything is looking so great). She immediately got really flustered and asked if I wanted one of those scooter things. I declined and she nervously said "Well, we don't want a Target baby today!" and when another lady at the desk looked over, she shouted "She is past her due date!" I just thanked her and made my way to the newborn aisle, but I could've sworn I saw a teenage stock boy following me around.
We were grocery shopping today and I saw a mom and a maybe 4 year old walk past me and she whispered to him "she has a baby in her belly!" Which is fine, kids have questions I get it. ...but then dragging your kid back to stair at me, look me in the belly button and say loudly "see! She has a BABY IN HER BELLY" while your kid is pulling to get away is just weird.
We were grocery shopping today and I saw a mom and a maybe 4 year old walk past me and she whispered to him "she has a baby in her belly!" Which is fine, kids have questions I get it. ...but then dragging your kid back to stair at me, look me in the belly button and say loudly "see! She has a BABY IN HER BELLY" while your kid is pulling to get away is just weird.
This would have been a perfect time for a confused and offended "no I don't!!" It would have taken her days to work that one out with her kid
We were grocery shopping today and I saw a mom and a maybe 4 year old walk past me and she whispered to him "she has a baby in her belly!" Which is fine, kids have questions I get it. ...but then dragging your kid back to stair at me, look me in the belly button and say loudly "see! She has a BABY IN HER BELLY" while your kid is pulling to get away is just weird.
This would have been a perfect time for a confused and offended "no I don't!!" It would have taken her days to work that one out with her kid
I think that kid and I both were thinking the same thing, which was "get me the fuck away from this woman"
Not a stranger but a comment from my mom, who I love to death. Last night I'm making dinner & she asks if I need help. I say no. She then turns to my husband and says "I think she's nesting." I got pissed and said "I'm not nesting, I'm making dinner. Something I do literally every single day in order to keep us alive." I CAN'T WAIT until my every thought and action is not somehow attributed to being pregnant.
DH and I were supposed to go to dinner with his grandmother Friday night, but he ended up having to work late. Even though he couldn't make it, I still met her since she had already made the reservations. I told her I barely had an appetite (hello - there isn't much room in there anymore, and I can hardly take 3 bites without feeling full!), but she insisted on ordering an extra lobster tail "for the baby." It would't have been so annoying if she hadn't kept repeating it. I told her I didn't want it and wasn't going to eat it, but she ordered it anyway and insisted on sending it home with me. I get that she's 84 and just trying to be nice, but c'mon! I just keep telling myself: 4 more weeks...
Not a stranger but a comment from my mom, who I love to death. Last night I'm making dinner & she asks if I need help. I say no. She then turns to my husband and says "I think she's nesting." I got pissed and said "I'm not nesting, I'm making dinner. Something I do literally every single day in order to keep us alive." I CAN'T WAIT until my every thought and action is not somehow attributed to being pregnant.
Yes! I'm so tired of comments like this from my MIL. If I'm cold, hot, tired, don't feel like chatting, want to clean house.... It's all because I'm pregnant!
I feel almost ungrateful complaining about it, but I wish people would quit trying to treat me like an invalid. I'm fine walking around and staying on my feet and carrying stuff. No, really, I promise, I am not going to fall over dead if I carry a 5-pound bag for a few blocks or push the elevator buttons all by myself.
Anyone else getting tired of hearing about random birthdays or seeing baby pictures of people you don't know? Now that it's getting close, people keep asking me my due date. When I tell them, so many of them will say something like, "OMG that's my brother's girlfriend's birthday!!!!" Or they'll be like, "Hey some person I know just had a baby, look at this picture of how cute it is!!" It's not really a problem, I just never know how to respond to random facts or pictures of people I don't even remotely know. Nobody is going to care if my baby shares a birthday with your grandmother's bridge partner. Especially not me.
Y'all, not a stranger but my own kid embarrassed me. My sister was visiting this weekend, and my 3 year old son said to her "You have a belly like mommy" -- oh god I felt so bad. And she totally doesn't! She played it off like, "Hey, thanks a lot, kid" but surely that didn't feel good. Eeeeesh.
I feel almost ungrateful complaining about it, but I wish people would quit trying to treat me like an invalid. I'm fine walking around and staying on my feet and carrying stuff. No, really, I promise, I am not going to fall over dead if I carry a 5-pound bag for a few blocks or push the elevator buttons all by myself.
On Friday, I was carrying 2 normal-sized reams of paper from the copy room to my desk 20 feet away when a coworker said, "Are you sure you should be carrying two of those?! You don't want to have a baby today!"
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Anyone else getting tired of hearing about random birthdays or seeing baby pictures of people you don't know? Now that it's getting close, people keep asking me my due date. When I tell them, so many of them will say something like, "OMG that's my brother's girlfriend's birthday!!!!" Or they'll be like, "Hey some person I know just had a baby, look at this picture of how cute it is!!" It's not really a problem, I just never know how to respond to random facts or pictures of people I don't even remotely know. Nobody is going to care if my baby shares a birthday with your grandmother's bridge partner. Especially not me.
THIS! I saw a friend of mine this weekend while I was out running errands, and she insisted on showing me 15+ pictures on her phone of her cousin's baby that was born last week. I have only met her cousin once about a year ago, so I really couldn't have cared less. Apparently because I'm pregnant that means I'm supposed to be super-interested in the babies of people I don't know??? I don't get it. Then, she proceeded to tell me all the intimate details of her cousin's birth experience (2nd degree tearing, etc.) and BF struggles (low supply, cracked nipples, etc.) - things that I'm sure her cousin wouldn't appreciate her sharing with someone she (the cousin) barely knows! Seriously, WTF!? Note to self: don't tell this friend any personal details I don't mind the world knowing!
Anyone else getting tired of hearing about random birthdays or seeing baby pictures of people you don't know? Now that it's getting close, people keep asking me my due date. When I tell them, so many of them will say something like, "OMG that's my brother's girlfriend's birthday!!!!" Or they'll be like, "Hey some person I know just had a baby, look at this picture of how cute it is!!" It's not really a problem, I just never know how to respond to random facts or pictures of people I don't even remotely know. Nobody is going to care if my baby shares a birthday with your grandmother's bridge partner. Especially not me.
LOL Yes. Someone will be like, "Have the baby on the 12th! That's my aunt's birthday!" ...Mmkay...
Anyone else getting tired of hearing about random birthdays or seeing baby pictures of people you don't know? Now that it's getting close, people keep asking me my due date. When I tell them, so many of them will say something like, "OMG that's my brother's girlfriend's birthday!!!!" Or they'll be like, "Hey some person I know just had a baby, look at this picture of how cute it is!!" It's not really a problem, I just never know how to respond to random facts or pictures of people I don't even remotely know. Nobody is going to care if my baby shares a birthday with your grandmother's bridge partner. Especially not me.
LOL Yes. Someone will be like, "Have the baby on the 12th! That's my aunt's birthday!" ...Mmkay...
I've gotten a ton of this lately! "Have the baby the 3rd, that's so-and-sos anniversary!" "Have the baby the 6th, that's this persons birthday!" Uhhh yeah, I'm being induced earlier than I would like so please stop reminding how little control I have over this, people!
@Pascal86 Yes!!! What do you say to them "Oh my goodness how weird would that be?!" Lol. You don't even know the person they are saying will share the baby's birthday. Goofy. Lol
My MIL says to me as I walk in the door " well at least your not as big as some of my other friends pregnant daughters. " Seriously from reading this thread Mil's are always good for at least one comment per visit
Anyone else getting tired of hearing about random birthdays or seeing baby pictures of people you don't know? Now that it's getting close, people keep asking me my due date. When I tell them, so many of them will say something like, "OMG that's my brother's girlfriend's birthday!!!!" Or they'll be like, "Hey some person I know just had a baby, look at this picture of how cute it is!!" It's not really a problem, I just never know how to respond to random facts or pictures of people I don't even remotely know. Nobody is going to care if my baby shares a birthday with your grandmother's bridge partner. Especially not me.
THIS! I saw a friend of mine this weekend while I was out running errands, and she insisted on showing me 15+ pictures on her phone of her cousin's baby that was born last week. I have only met her cousin once about a year ago, so I really couldn't have cared less. Apparently because I'm pregnant that means I'm supposed to be super-interested in the babies of people I don't know??? I don't get it. Then, she proceeded to tell me all the intimate details of her cousin's birth experience (2nd degree tearing, etc.) and BF struggles (low supply, cracked nipples, etc.) - things that I'm sure her cousin wouldn't appreciate her sharing with someone she (the cousin) barely knows! Seriously, WTF!? Note to self: don't tell this friend any personal details I don't mind the world knowing!
This is why whenever anyone asks when I'm due I now reply with "soon". They always say "ah, I can tell" or "you look like it!" and I get to avoid all the odd conversation! Win in my book!
I work with some pretty insensitive people obviously. One guy at works wife is having a baby in October and she's going to be staying home with it till it starts school. So he was having a conversation with someone else, who then asked me what I'm doing... And I said I'll be coming back after 12 weeks. He gave me this almost disgusted look and said 'Why? Mom's should stay home with their babies. I guess you want someone else raising your child'. I just walked away... I don't even want to deal with it.
Honestly, if DH and I had the financial means we have both always said I would stay home. It makes more sense for us for me to go back to work at this point in time. And I know it will probably suck for me when it comes time to go back. And of course now that I'm set to go any time now I'm getting someone commenting about this which makes it even worse.
Again, really thinking of starting my leave early. I may bring it up at my appointment today and possibly get a note to amend my FMLA, bc tbh the stress from this place is probably what is causing my HBP and I'm over it.
I work with some pretty insensitive people obviously. One guy at works wife is having a baby in October and she's going to be staying home with it till it starts school. So he was having a conversation with someone else, who then asked me what I'm doing... And I said I'll be coming back after 12 weeks. He gave me this almost disgusted look and said 'Why? Mom's should stay home with their babies. I guess you want someone else raising your child'. I just walked away... I don't even want to deal with it.
Honestly, if DH and I had the financial means we have both always said I would stay home. It makes more sense for us for me to go back to work at this point in time. And I know it will probably suck for me when it comes time to go back. And of course now that I'm set to go any time now I'm getting someone commenting about this which makes it even worse.
Again, really thinking of starting my leave early. I may bring it up at my appointment today and possibly get a note to amend my FMLA, bc tbh the stress from this place is probably what is causing my HBP and I'm over it.
What an asshole! I would definitely report him to HR. He should be reprimanded for his inappropriate comments that are creating a hostile work environment for you. You know what is best for you and your family, and it's none of his damn business. Kudos to you for being the bigger person and just walking away. I doubt I could have...at least not before shouting a few expletives at him first!
I work with some pretty insensitive people obviously. One guy at works wife is having a baby in October and she's going to be staying home with it till it starts school. So he was having a conversation with someone else, who then asked me what I'm doing... And I said I'll be coming back after 12 weeks. He gave me this almost disgusted look and said 'Why? Mom's should stay home with their babies. I guess you want someone else raising your child'. I just walked away... I don't even want to deal with it.
Honestly, if DH and I had the financial means we have both always said I would stay home. It makes more sense for us for me to go back to work at this point in time. And I know it will probably suck for me when it comes time to go back. And of course now that I'm set to go any time now I'm getting someone commenting about this which makes it even worse.
Again, really thinking of starting my leave early. I may bring it up at my appointment today and possibly get a note to amend my FMLA, bc tbh the stress from this place is probably what is causing my HBP and I'm over it.
What an asshole! I would definitely report him to HR. He should be reprimanded for his inappropriate comments that are creating a hostile work environment for you. You know what is best for you and your family, and it's none of his damn business. Kudos to you for being the bigger person and just walking away. I doubt I could have...at least not before shouting a few expletives at him first!
Agree with @swflJD ! That is a horrible thing to say. I don't know that I could have kept my cool. I hope you get to leave early, cause that really does sound like a hostile work environment.
@swflJD@Spylon Thank you for your kind words. I definitely plan on mentioning something to someone and at the very least if I can't take my actual leave I'm hoping maybe they'll be able to work with me on working at home the rest of my time. Honestly, I wanted to work till I went into labor but at this point for the health of me and the baby I think it might be best. Working in a dept with mostly guys (I'm a programmer... fun stuff) while pregnant has definitely shed some light on the perceptions some guys have of pregnancy.
In the beginning I could deal, but it's just getting worse in general and the stress of the impending baby surely doesn't help. The guys more around our age, most of who are acquaintances of ours outside of work, seem to understand our choices and don't judge or make comments which is pretty relieving, but it's just sad that some people have never learned the whole 'everyone has their own opinions' thing and to keep their comments to themselves. Some of the people I get flack from don't even have kids of their own so I just take the comments in stride.
@dsmith211 That is ridiculous. I commend you for being able to walk away without comment. I'm sure I would have said something that could be regrettable.
@swflJD@Spylon Thank you for your kind words. I definitely plan on mentioning something to someone and at the very least if I can't take my actual leave I'm hoping maybe they'll be able to work with me on working at home the rest of my time. Honestly, I wanted to work till I went into labor but at this point for the health of me and the baby I think it might be best. Working in a dept with mostly guys (I'm a programmer... fun stuff) while pregnant has definitely shed some light on the perceptions some guys have of pregnancy.
In the beginning I could deal, but it's just getting worse in general and the stress of the impending baby surely doesn't help. The guys more around our age, most of who are acquaintances of ours outside of work, seem to understand our choices and don't judge or make comments which is pretty relieving, but it's just sad that some people have never learned the whole 'everyone has their own opinions' thing and to keep their comments to themselves. Some of the people I get flack from don't even have kids of their own so I just take the comments in stride.
@dsmith211I know what you mean working in a male-dominated field. When I was doing mostly civil and probate litigation, I was one of the few female litigators in my area and had to deal with some real jerks. Even before I was pregnant, I found that most of the sexist comments I received came from older male attorneys, not from ones closer to my age. It's better now that I'm in-house counsel because there's an almost 50/50 female to male ratio in my office, and there's a much more family-friendly atmosphere.
You shouldn't have to endure sexist comments like that from your co-worker. I can understand wanting to just ignore him and let it go, but (and I am in no way implying that it is your "obligation" to call him out or report him) there should be consequences for his actions. If no one ever calls him out on it, he will likely continue to make harassing remarks to other women (or to you again if you ever have more children in the future). By reporting him to management and HR, not only would you be potentially sparing yourself or others from his continuing harassment, but you could also be sparing your company a costly lawsuit if he makes those types of comments to someone else and they decide to sue your company because of it. Even though you have no responsibility for his comments, it's something to think about. I'm sorry you are having to deal with such judgmental people.
@dsmith211 i got something similar on my last day of work, lots of "are you SURE you're coming back?" Ugh. before my gramma passed away, my mom and I got a LOT of pressure to "keep her at home" and do the majority of hospice care ourselves. We hired people to watch her and care for her and came when we could but when she outgrew that care they didn't tell us until it was too late to move her to a nursing home because she wouldn't survive the trip. What they didn't really understand was she had literally moved into her apartment 3 weeks before she got sick and it wasn't her home, she could not have cared less where she died. I feel like there's pressure to take care of things yourself and a lot of negative reactions when you decide to use a tribe to help you. I'm happy to put my baby in daycare when I go back to work- he's going to learn so much and grow and have his own little baby life! How awesome is that?
@dsmith211 i got something similar on my last day of work, lots of "are you SURE you're coming back?" Ugh. before my gramma passed away, my mom and I got a LOT of pressure to "keep her at home" and do the majority of hospice care ourselves. We hired people to watch her and care for her and came when we could but when she outgrew that care they didn't tell us until it was too late to move her to a nursing home because she wouldn't survive the trip. What they didn't really understand was she had literally moved into her apartment 3 weeks before she got sick and it wasn't her home, she could not have cared less where she died. I feel like there's pressure to take care of things yourself and a lot of negative reactions when you decide to use a tribe to help you. I'm happy to put my baby in daycare when I go back to work- he's going to learn so much and grow and have his own little baby life! How awesome is that?
This was my mentality. We spent A LOT of time picking a daycare where we though LO would be able to learn a lot, socialize with other kids their age, and learn to be a little more independent. DH said he went to daycare as a child and he remembers loving it. He said he remembered being excited everyday when he was old enough to know, bc he was going to 'work' like mom and dad. I know for me I really struggled as a child with debilitating shyness - never talked to anyone, had severe social anxiety (I still have issues to this day... It's better, but it's noticable). In the end this caused me to get made fun of a lot bc kids can be mean. I feel like maybe some better socialization early on could have helped me and I definitely don't want my experience for LO.
So while of course I would love to stay home with the baby, I never really felt like I was making a bad decision putting them in daycare. I don't understand why there is such a stigma against people who choose to do so. It mostly just stung a little bit to hear someone think I wasn't doing the 'best' for my LO.
random lady behind me in the grocery store last weekend asked where I was delivering... huh? excuse me? as if my hospital/birthing center of choice is anyone's business?
Pascal86 - I have hated the feeling of being treated like an invalid for several months now. My dad was the biggest culprit of it honestly. I would try to help carry things into the house or something like that and I would be told to be careful, to let someone else do it, etc. I appreciate people giving up seats or holding doors, but pregnancy doesn't make me some super-special snowflake that needs to be waited on hand and foot.
DH and I were taking a walk around our neighborhood Sunday night and a neighbor we have never met passed us by and said "Better get home you might have the baby before you get there!". Thank you strange man for saying I'm huge???
Not a stranger but my MIL just texted me "Dilated yet??"
WTF do I really have to update my ILs about the status of my cervix until I go into labor?
So awkward! Its just like my aunt continuing to ask me every week if I've had a cervical check yet. People, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE LITERALLY ASKING. Not appropriate!
Went to vote yesterday and the two elderly ladies staffing the polling place both said, "You must be due any day!" I tried to grit and smile and said, "No, four more weeks." From the scandalized looks on their faces you'd have thought I said I planned to give birth in a Wal-Mart parking lot! One of them then said, "Twins?" I just walked away to go vote. If you don't have anything nice to say...
Not a stranger but my MIL just texted me "Dilated yet??"
WTF do I really have to update my ILs about the status of my cervix until I go into labor?
So awkward! Its just like my aunt continuing to ask me every week if I've had a cervical check yet. People, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE LITERALLY ASKING. Not appropriate!
I just send them a weekly email about it so nobody has to ask.
(Yes, I seriously do that. Whatever, I have no shame. But it would be weird if anybody asked instead of me just volunteering more information than anybody wants.)
Went to vote yesterday and the two elderly ladies staffing the polling place both said, "You must be due any day!" I tried to grit and smile and said, "No, four more weeks." From the scandalized looks on their faces you'd have thought I said I planned to give birth in a Wal-Mart parking lot! One of them then said, "Twins?" I just walked away to go vote. If you don't have anything nice to say...
I also got asked by a random stranger while voting yesterday if I was having twins!
My ob yesterday after she saw my growth ultrasound estimates (estimated at 8lb7oz at 36w4d 97th percentile/all measurements were 40-42 weeks gestation) decided to help sooth my anxiety and my throbbing vagina thinking about all of this by saying "WOW, you've got a toddler in there! He or she is going to crawl right out of you". Uhm, thank you.
Re: Comments from Strangers Thread
...but then dragging your kid back to stair at me, look me in the belly button and say loudly "see! She has a BABY IN HER BELLY" while your kid is pulling to get away is just weird.
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Honestly, if DH and I had the financial means we have both always said I would stay home. It makes more sense for us for me to go back to work at this point in time. And I know it will probably suck for me when it comes time to go back. And of course now that I'm set to go any time now I'm getting someone commenting about this which makes it even worse.
Again, really thinking of starting my leave early. I may bring it up at my appointment today and possibly get a note to amend my FMLA, bc tbh the stress from this place is probably what is causing my HBP and I'm over it.
BFP #1: 9/12/2015
DD: 6/1/2016
BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
In the beginning I could deal, but it's just getting worse in general and the stress of the impending baby surely doesn't help. The guys more around our age, most of who are acquaintances of ours outside of work, seem to understand our choices and don't judge or make comments which is pretty relieving, but it's just sad that some people have never learned the whole 'everyone has their own opinions' thing and to keep their comments to themselves. Some of the people I get flack from don't even have kids of their own so I just take the comments in stride.
You shouldn't have to endure sexist comments like that from your co-worker. I can understand wanting to just ignore him and let it go, but (and I am in no way implying that it is your "obligation" to call him out or report him) there should be consequences for his actions. If no one ever calls him out on it, he will likely continue to make harassing remarks to other women (or to you again if you ever have more children in the future). By reporting him to management and HR, not only would you be potentially sparing yourself or others from his continuing harassment, but you could also be sparing your company a costly lawsuit if he makes those types of comments to someone else and they decide to sue your company because of it. Even though you have no responsibility for his comments, it's something to think about. I'm sorry you are having to deal with such judgmental people.
before my gramma passed away, my mom and I got a LOT of pressure to "keep her at home" and do the majority of hospice care ourselves. We hired people to watch her and care for her and came when we could but when she outgrew that care they didn't tell us until it was too late to move her to a nursing home because she wouldn't survive the trip. What they didn't really understand was she had literally moved into her apartment 3 weeks before she got sick and it wasn't her home, she could not have cared less where she died.
I feel like there's pressure to take care of things yourself and a lot of negative reactions when you decide to use a tribe to help you. I'm happy to put my baby in daycare when I go back to work- he's going to learn so much and grow and have his own little baby life! How awesome is that?
So while of course I would love to stay home with the baby, I never really felt like I was making a bad decision putting them in daycare. I don't understand why there is such a stigma against people who choose to do so. It mostly just stung a little bit to hear someone think I wasn't doing the 'best' for my LO.
I was a bit put off, but I said, "Yes, but not for long!" Didn't feel like giving her an anatomy lesson....
Pascal86 - I have hated the feeling of being treated like an invalid for several months now. My dad was the biggest culprit of it honestly. I would try to help carry things into the house or something like that and I would be told to be careful, to let someone else do it, etc. I appreciate people giving up seats or holding doors, but pregnancy doesn't make me some super-special snowflake that needs to be waited on hand and foot.
DH and I were taking a walk around our neighborhood Sunday night and a neighbor we have never met passed us by and said "Better get home you might have the baby before you get there!". Thank you strange man for saying I'm huge???
WTF do I really have to update my ILs about the status of my cervix until I go into labor?
(Yes, I seriously do that. Whatever, I have no shame. But it would be weird if anybody asked instead of me just volunteering more information than anybody wants.)
For a minute I thought maybe my water broke or something, but no, I guess I just look that ungainly. Cool!