Comments from Strangers Thread

hellogoodbye2

I don't think I have seen this topic posted on here yet...

Lets hear it....the good, the bad, the ugly!

KidShrink

I'm waiting in line to pay at Staples. This lady in front of me lets me go in front of her because I only have one item (her cart is full) and 'well, seems like it could happen anytime!' . I was 32 weeks. 

hellogoodbye2

Today I got a lovely comment from a stranger at Panera:

"Do you know what you're having?"
"A girl & and I have a daughter at home."
"Oh that's too bad! Well, maybe next time you'll have a boy!"

1.) Why do people expect the perfect family to be boy/girl??
2.) A sister is a wonderful thing to have.
3.) Why can't a simple "Congrats" suffice?

laurenmdrn16

Not really a stranger per se, but one of the dads at my son's school commented on my bump at drop-off today. He said "Whoa, where'd the baby go? You look so much smaller than you did yesterday! Are you sure she is still in there?" while laughing. I had no idea how to respond. How do you say "Yup, still pregnant, just wearing a flowier shirt than yesterday. Oh and now my baby's head is lodged quite securely in my pelvis so she isn't pushing out as much which is giving me intense lightening crotch. Thanks for noticing!" without sounding like a jerk?

hellogoodbye2

A couple weeks ago:

"When are you due?"
"I have about 10 weeks to go!"
"WHAT? It looks like you are ready to go now!"

Thanks, lady. I already feel huge without your comment!

yogahh

I was literally just logging on to tell about my experience getting lunch today...

I am at the deli, and the girl behind the counter goes "how far along are you". When I say "2 months today" shes goes "wow, that's a big one". I was calm, but told her " that is really rude". When she asks why, I told her she has NO right to comment on MY body. Pregnant or not. I mean, I wouldnt tell a fat person they are big, so why is it ok to tell a pregnant person the same? 

I know a lot of you have posted about similar experiences and I have to tell you, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. If we don't tell people how effing rude they are, they will continue to behavior. I will continue to tell people to STFU anytime I get this comment for the next 2 months, and you should too!

Edited to correct- she didnt ask how far along I am...she asked when I am due!!! Big difference!

hellogoodbye2

@yogahh damn, I wish I would have said something back like that! I was just stunned!

I did respond with "A sister is amazing thing to have. I feel extremely blessed," but adding some snark might have done me better!

mello13

Not a stranger, but my husbands aunt (that we see maybe once a year):

Aunt: You're so big! When are you due?
Me: May
Aunt: Are you sure?! You're VERY big.
Me: Yes. Genetics, what can you do? Also, it is my second pregnancy. 
Aunt: Well MY daughter didn't get that big even with her second. 
Me: Everyone is different. The doctor tells me I'm measuring perfectly and have gained just the right amount of weight. A healthy baby is my goal. 
Aunt: (mumbling) Her baby was 4 lbs so she never got that big...

My head snapped up then. 4 POUNDS? Was it a premie? Did the mom have other health concerns?? I didn't ask, obviously. But really. 

Also, it should be noted that the aunt is obese and requires a scooter to get anywhere. The idea that she should be commenting on anyone's weight, much less a pregnant woman's, is astounding. 

wsgjmw1

My best one to date is the receptionist at my dentist asked me " soooo was it planned?"

sighhhhhh

mello13

@hellogoodbye2  I HATE when people comment on the sex of a baby! When we announced #2 everyone immediately asked if we were trying for a girl. No, we were trying for a BABY. When it turned out 2.0 was, in fact, a girl, people commented about how we must be "so relieved". Really?! Yes, I was relieved that the AS showed my child was healthy and developing well. Why people are stupid enough to think that a baby's worth is based on it's genitals I will never understand!!

krisspy22

Not technically strangers, but at my husband's school shower the teachers were asking how I was feeling and I responded with, "Oh you know, everything hurts, but otherwise I'm pretty good." Each time they would say "but you still have 7 weeks to go. Are you sure you're hurting now?"

Yes, yes I am sure.. Especially when I take that one step and having a shooting pain throughout the nether region, I can assure you I am in pain.

Also, another good one (Also not from a stranger but from my very tacky, most likely senile grandmother). At my shower last weekend she said I was "bulging." 

cortney626

My daughter's teachers and some moms all said "Wow you look great! How much longer?" When I replied 8 weeks at the time. They gave me a concerned face and said "Oh. You have some time to go." So I don't look good for 7 months pregnant!? Gee thanks. 

DutchLucyLu

wsgjmw1 said:

My best one to date is the receptionist at my dentist asked me " soooo was it planned?"

sighhhhhh

Ruuuude!


This actually happened nearly two months ago. It was at a work party and I was talking to a lot of colleagues I didn't know very well. No less than THREE people asked me, "So, are you living together, too?"

Ummm, yes?
 
A lot of people seem to think 26 is young to be having a baby, and sure, unplanned babies whose parents don't live together happen all the time, and that's fine. But is that really the first question that comes to mind when talking to a pregnant woman?

My husband that I live with and I are very much having this baby on purpose, thank you very much.

PYLWhammy

@yogahh awesome for standing up for yourself!!
I've been really lucky, I haven't had any comments other than the usual, 'when are you due' and things like that. But, there's still 9 weeks to go...

alijeff2313

Not a stranger but my coworker said "Wow. If I didn't know you I would say you were 9 months and ready to pop!!" I'm almost 32 weeks and have gained 28 pounds. I replied "Well I would hate to hear what you would have said if you would have saw me pregnant with my daughter...I gained 60 pounds" Shes a sweet woman, but I don't believe she thinks before she speaks. 

Jparke2

For about a month now, I'm met with shocked expressions when people ask how far along I am. I guess I look a lot bigger than I should or something, and I know people don't mean to be rude, but seriously, I feel fat enough without people being like "what?! May is far off!" No, its really not, especially considering its highly possible I'll deliver end of April.

Also, I went to a baby shower for a friend this past weekend and a woman next to me kept commenting about my friend who was opening presents and to me about how life was about to get really hard for us/we'd never sleep again/we'd never have a second to ourselves again/etc. OK THANKS, lady! This is a happy event, don't need you spreading negativity! At one point my friend opened a cute pack of the bibs that look like bandanas, and the lady goes "...why not just use a bib? I don't get it." Seriously? I couldn't believe how rude she was being. It's awful to bash someone at their own baby shower, but its a whole other problem to be bashing her to another pregnant person. And she was basically bashing the person who gave the gift, too. UGH.

proudparent2b

I'm still getting the "are you sure you're pregnant" or "are you sure you're that far along?" I'm not small, but apparently the way I carry makes me look fat instead of pregnant.

Sorry, I know I've posted this on other threads, but it seriously pisses me off! I really thought by 32 weeks it would be obvious to the world that I'm expecting. I would LOVE for a stranger to say I'm about to pop or let me ahead of them in line!

The greatest compliment I've recieved so far was from my LO's future daycare provider. We visited her first for an interview and then again the following week to watch her interact with the kids for a little bit. At the second meeting, she said it looked like I had popped out a bit since the previous week.

balamama

yogahh said:

I was literally just logging on to tell about my experience getting lunch today...

I am at the deli, and the girl behind the counter goes "how far along are you". When I say "2 months today" shes goes "wow, that's a big one". I was calm, but told her " that is really rude". When she asks why, I told her she has NO right to comment on MY body. Pregnant or not. I mean, I wouldnt tell a fat person they are big, so why is it ok to tell a pregnant person the same? 

I know a lot of you have posted about similar experiences and I have to tell you, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. If we don't tell people how effing rude they are, they will continue to behavior. I will continue to tell people to STFU anytime I get this comment for the next 2 months, and you should too!

laurenmdrn16

@yogahh you have inspired me to lay the verbal smackdown on this one lady in our neighborhood who is the quintessential nosy neighbor and has basically been on labor watch 24/7 since January. She is not super nice about it and is almost annoyed I haven't had the baby yet, like I am purposefully keeping it from her. She also gets really weirdly offended when I either don't play outside with my son or we go out for the evening. Her latest comments are "I don't think you can get any bigger!", "Are you sure it is just one?", "Why won't you tell me the name? Is it because it is one of those weird hipster names?", and many others. I honestly just tune her out, but I dread getting the mail or going outside because she is always there, sitting on her porch crabbing, even when it is like 30 degrees out! Oh, and she apparently keeps track of how many times I order delivery or come home with take-out. And yes, she has commented that maybe pizza isn't the best food for the baby. STFU crazy lady!

Spylon

Man, there are some rude people out there, holy crap. @laurenmdrn16 just reading that made my eye twitch!

I get comments ranging from "There's no way you still have two months to go!" to "Oh wow, your belly is so small, I thought you were only 4 months along!" (Yeah right, weird lady at the hospital.) It's so all over the place that I just smile and nod and move on.

I did have a client ask me if my husband was happy about the pregnancy. That one was weird and rude, but that client is incredibly socially awkward, especially with women, so I found it much easier to let it slide.

baby-2-due

I had one of the therapists at my chiropractors appointment that I was awfully big to be only 7 months along! Umm I've only gained 8lbs and the very next day at work a lady told me she had no clue I was pregnant and if I would have told her she would have guessed 3/4 months. I don't know why people feel the need to say anything. I told the therapist that I just recently popped and most people didn't even know I was pregnant unless I told them and that it was weird she thought I was "awfully big." I can still fit in most of my pre pregnancy clothes, but specifically wear maternity clothes so people can tell.

VS2016

I was walking to my classroom and was stopped by three different members of the staff and all three asked how long I have left. When I told them they all acted shocked like I should be giving birth any second!  Definitely puts extra pep in your step to start the day... Not! 

Norway23

Not technically a stranger, but an acquaintance who I barely know got on his knees to try to actually kiss my belly. It was pretty horrifying... 

yogahh

Norway23 said:

Not technically a stranger, but an acquaintance who I barely know got on his knees to try to actually kiss my belly. It was pretty horrifying... 

DAFAQ?????

Norway23

Pretty much the creepiest thing I've experienced!! 

gamommyx3

yogahh said:

Norway23 said:

Not technically a stranger, but an acquaintance who I barely know got on his knees to try to actually kiss my belly. It was pretty horrifying... 

DAFAQ?????

I'm sorry but I'm sitting at my desk laughing my ass off at that visual as well as your gif.  Praying no one comes in here for a few minutes so I can compose myself.

rlworzalla

hellogoodbye2 said:

A couple weeks ago:

"When are you due?"
"I have about 10 weeks to go!"
"WHAT? It looks like you are ready to go now!"

Thanks, lady. I already feel huge without your comment!

I got this from EVERYONE at my dad's birthday party this weekend!!

Two random ladies passed my husband and I in Kohls this morning. They were walking towards us talking, one saw my belly and said "oooh baby!" and kept walking. Awkward!

Norway23

Aquinna82 said:

yogahh said:

Norway23 said:

Not technically a stranger, but an acquaintance who I barely know got on his knees to try to actually kiss my belly. It was pretty horrifying... 

DAFAQ?????

I'm sorry but I'm sitting at my desk laughing my ass off at that visual as well as your gif.  Praying no one comes in here for a few minutes so I can compose myself.

Hahah I'm able to laugh at it now too. Its just too crazy

lalala2004

@yogahh While it doesn't excuse
the rudeness, if you really did say "Two Months Today" I can at least understand her shock. Was that a typo, or were you joking with her, or what?

yogahh

lalala2004 said:

@yogahh While it doesn't excuse
the rudeness, if you really did say "Two Months Today" I can at least understand her shock. Was that a typo, or were you joking with her, or what?

Not really sure where you are going with this??? Are you saying its ok for anyone to comment on your size? Does it matter if I am 2 months or 2 days away from my DD? Not everyone is the same size at every stage of pregnancy. And excusing it is not acceptable in my book anymore. 

dsmith211

yogahh said:

lalala2004 said:

@yogahh While it doesn't excuse
the rudeness, if you really did say "Two Months Today" I can at least understand her shock. Was that a typo, or were you joking with her, or what?

Not really sure where you are going with this??? Are you saying its ok for anyone to comment on your size? Does it matter if I am 2 months or 2 days away from my DD? Not everyone is the same size at every stage of pregnancy. And excusing it is not acceptable in my book anymore. 

I think she meant 2 months as in 2 months into the pregnancy. Not 2 months from the DD. I can see the confusion there, but really it shouldn't matter regardless. Idk why people find it acceptable to comment on someone's size.

yogahh

dsmith211 said:

yogahh said:

lalala2004 said:

@yogahh While it doesn't excuse
the rudeness, if you really did say "Two Months Today" I can at least understand her shock. Was that a typo, or were you joking with her, or what?

Not really sure where you are going with this??? Are you saying its ok for anyone to comment on your size? Does it matter if I am 2 months or 2 days away from my DD? Not everyone is the same size at every stage of pregnancy. And excusing it is not acceptable in my book anymore. 

I think she meant 2 months as in 2 months into the pregnancy. Not 2 months from the DD. I can see the confusion there, but really it shouldn't matter regardless. Idk why people find it acceptable to comment on someone's size.

That makes more sense! No, she asked how long until my DD...in which case I said 2 months today. 
@lalala2004, yes, typo in my original post!

lalala2004

@yogahh yeah, I was super confused by your OP. I was thinking "Yeah. If you tell people you are only 2 months pregnant, you might get some strange reactions!"

js8812

yogahh said:

lalala2004 said:

@yogahh While it doesn't excuse
the rudeness, if you really did say "Two Months Today" I can at least understand her shock. Was that a typo, or were you joking with her, or what?

Not really sure where you are going with this??? Are you saying its ok for anyone to comment on your size? Does it matter if I am 2 months or 2 days away from my DD? Not everyone is the same size at every stage of pregnancy. And excusing it is not acceptable in my book anymore. 

I obviously know you meant you had two months remaining in pregnancy, but I read it as being two months along (8-10 weeks).  I agree that it's still not okay to say, but most of us look waaaaaaay different than we did 5-6 months ago.

yogahh

lalala2004 said:

@yogahh yeah, I was super confused by your OP. I was thinking "Yeah. If you tell people you are only 2 months pregnant, you might get some strange reactions!"

Yeah, I'm tired and hot. I can't be held accountable for anything I say or do today

ayeshaohara

I've been saying from day 1, I don't know why people feel that once a woman becomes pregnant it gives them the right to comment on our bodies. You wouldn't do it if we weren't pregnant. If I look great, tell me I look great. If I look like hell, still tell me I look great. It's that simple! Ask your questions just don't comment on my answers. That's kinda how I feel. It's just totally unnecessary. Oh and the size of my boobs are not a topic of conversation for everyone else's enjoyment either. Keep your eyes and comments to yourself. Rant over. 

sarawifenow

I think the weirdest thing I've gotten so far is from a woman in the grocery store last week. She asked me if I knew what I was having and when I said boy she goes "make sure he is circumcised or he won't be able to give you grandchildren." Wait. Whaaaaat?

Kennedy0830

Paying for breakfast and stranger (male in his 50s) pokes my stomach with one finger -- yes, this is how he gets my attention -- and says "you know how that happens right?"....... Yes...
This IS my husband, and although I understand we both look like we're 18, we're 28 and aware we made a baby!

Pascal86

At my prenatal workout class that I go to every week, my instructor's husband who helps with office stuff always comments on how my belly is looking, and I actually like it because he always acts so excited about it. This week he looked at my belly and said, "Wow... I have to tell you, it's a LOT bigger this week!" From a lot of people that would feel rude, but I was feeling so uncomfortable and huge that it actually felt nice to have him validate what I was feeling. It also made me feel good that baby is growing - I totally get how people commenting on how small you are is equally unsettling now as being told you're really big.

And @Kennedy0830 - that is insane. I would be spending the rest of the week thinking about how I could have tried to avoid that stomach poke or given him the snarliest response ever, but no idea what I would actually do in that moment!

gamommyx3

rlworzalla said:

hellogoodbye2 said:

A couple weeks ago:

"When are you due?"
"I have about 10 weeks to go!"
"WHAT? It looks like you are ready to go now!"

Thanks, lady. I already feel huge without your comment!

I got this from EVERYONE at my dad's birthday party this weekend!!

Two random ladies passed my husband and I in Kohls this morning. They were walking towards us talking, one saw my belly and said "oooh baby!" and kept walking. Awkward!

I was walking out of a restaurant a few weeks ago and when we passed through the crowd of people waiting to be seated someone yelled out "she's having a baby!!" in a really weird voice.  It was a bizarre moment.

TheThornBird

sarawifenow said:

I think the weirdest thing I've gotten so far is from a woman in the grocery store last week. She asked me if I knew what I was having and when I said boy she goes "make sure he is circumcised or he won't be able to give you grandchildren." Wait. Whaaaaat?

How on earth did the human race survive prior to the invention of surgical equipment?!