August 2016 Moms

Stupid Sh!t People Say!

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Re: Stupid Sh!t People Say!

  • @Alyeena I hate be one of those future moms who says "oh just wait until your pregnant," but when she is judging your decisions I would throw that one out into the ring. Just wait until your pregnant and the only thing you can keep down is pretzels or better yet everything sounds horrible except for that ice cream you HAVE to have. 
    *TW Spoiler*

    DD: Aug '16

    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18

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  • AlyeenaAlyeena member
    edited April 2016
    @Alyeena I hate be one of those future moms who says "oh just wait until your pregnant," but when she is judging your decisions I would throw that one out into the ring. Just wait until your pregnant and the only thing you can keep down is pretzels or better yet everything sounds horrible except for that ice cream you HAVE to have. 
    I would hate to say this to her... Mostly because of how long it took us to conceive and we had to do IVF, I just feel like there is never any guarantees. And I would feel so bad saying that to someone and then they have trouble trying to conceive. 

    But I get your point, yes I think she will understand when she goes trough this later, hopefully with no trouble at all. And she will be eating that ice cream, or whatever else she is craving too! :)
    35 years old, TTC #1 Dec 28, 2011
    PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
    First IVF cycle June 5th 2015 --- BFP
    Miscarriage at 8 weeks
    FET December 15th 2015--- BFP!
    First saw  at 6w4d
    It's a boy!

    Luciano Alessandro Maximiliano was born on September 3rd 2016

       



  • The most obnoxious commentary I've received is a seemingly constant stream of "how far along are you?" ...I tell them. "WOW!!! You...have a long way to go...." or related. Basically insinuating that I'm huge, as they make their eyes bug out of their heads. Even now, at 6 months. I don't feel as though I'm "huge," I look healthy but not abnormally large. I am carrying this one similar to my first; all in the front and low. I'm a petite gal, I guess it looks surprising. I always want to tell people "you know women show before the end of pregnancy, right?" 

    I even had one gentleman tell me, "you know, my daughter only gained 15 pounds."  Good for her guy, good for her...

    I'm pretty well over people and their commentary at this point.


  • Why is it that people take pregnancy as an excuse to say whatever they want to us??? WTF!?!?!
        My sister inlaw's Dad happened to be in my store today, (like I didn't deal with enough of his crap at my nephews birthday party) and I wear my work vest with just 1 button buttoned (I always have, my belly just sticks out now), he had the nerve to be all like "are they going to get you a bigger vest?" Oh if I hadn't been at work... I would have gone through the roof!!! I was so pissed... it's like this douche singles me out just to make rude comments to me about "getting fat" or other such stupidity! I've gained 9 pounds so far, and honestly, I wouldn't have even gained that much if I were still running! And I have a belly... a baby belly! He doesn't say anything to his granddaughter who is 20 weeks pregnant with her second baby (at the age of 18 but that's a whole other story) I seriously hope I never have to see that man again!

  • acpear11acpear11 member
    edited April 2016
    @ShanRum3
    Is that guy for real? JEEZ! Pretty sure I'd have had snarky words for him. He's out of line!
  • @acpear11 He's a downright creep!!!! I had told my husband the other day before my nephew's party, that if he said anything like he did at my great nephews party, (when he stared at me eating a little piece of birthday cake, then proceeded to ask if it was really necessary that I eat that last bite) I was going to just tell him to F Off! I held my tongue, and I was good again today, merely telling him that I'd be fine after I had the baby and my vest would fit just fine again! My hubby thinks the dude is just trying to make jokes and be funny, but is failing miserably. I think he's just a jerk!
    He used to be pretty chubby, and since he's on a LOT (read: pops pills) of medications for medical conditions he has, he has gotten thinner.  But he has NO room to talk about being fat! I have never really cared much for the guy, I despise him now!
  • Oo ur due in August hope it's not hot for u.....
    Cuz I said to my husband hey I want to be prego for the summer. I am little in frame soo I hear ur belly sooooo cute. I told my husband is want a shirt I'm not pregnant I'm fat...don't have to deal with the stupidity 
  • So far I have been pretty lucky with this pregnancy. 

    When I was preg with our daughter, I opened up to a woman about how we conceived through IVF and how hard our fertility journey was.  It was not something I shared openly b/c it wasn't that important. Rather than empathize or just simply acknowledge, she proceeded to tell me how lucky I was to have even gotten pregnant b/c HER FRIEND went through 100 rounds and still isn't pregnant. 

    I started to cry and had to leave the room.  I felt really terrible about that...so much for sharing!

  • The men at my office are terrible. They comment on what I eat ALL the time.

    "You should stop eating oatmeal and have bacon for breakfast. Baby boy's need meat." 
    "Woah, I can't believe you are eating a breakfast sandwich." 

    I feel like I have to hide my food intake, but it's difficult because I eat breakfast and lunch in my office 5 days a week. 

    This is a weird one, but I get offended by people commenting on my belly being smaller than what they think it should be. I promise this is not some kind of humble brag, I've put on a solid amount of weight. But, I just carry baby different. He is spread out all over my torso. I was like this with my first too. It's like people think I'm harming baby b/c of my size and they need to try and make me feel bad about it.
    Pregnancy Ticker

  • Oh man...the list could go on forever but my top 3 most annoying remarks are 

    1. Oh man, another girl.
    2. You are big or you are getting big. My mom likes to say huge
  • I really don't mind when my family tells me I'm getting big. One thing I love about pregnancy is the baby bump and how I don't feel insecure about my body for a few months. This only relates to my family, anyone else like strangers or my in laws, comments that I'm getting big or I'm huge definitely piss me off. 

    Once I have the baby though, that's a different story. I dread my post baby body because I never lost my weight with DD so I'm gonna have twice as much to lose. 
  • It's not a thing people say, but can I add in a complaint about all the unwanted belly touching?  It's still my body, and if anything my space bubble has gotten bigger with all the pregnancy sensitivity.  Hey, random, stranger! DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME. Unless you want the full rage of a pregnant woman in the heat of summer.  This has been a Public Service Announcement.


  • I'm about 5 foot and pre-pregnancy weighed mayyybe 105-110, I didn't really keep track. At 23 weeks, I am now 123 lbs (fancy that). 

    EVERYONE AND THEIR DADGUM MOTHER has told me how huge I am getting. They also feel the need to tell me that I am going to struggle to lose the weight after baby.

    Thank you. You are so helpful to my sanity and self image. 

    Ladies, I have an August confession to make. I haven't had any morning sickness, whatsoever. I'm lucky, I know. But when people ask me, I feel like I have cheated the pregnancy symptom wheel. So, I usually say "but I'm sure I'll pay for it in July-August." I feel like I have betrayed everyone by bringing it up myself. Please forgive me. 

    ALSO, we can get in the pool and relax when we are huge. Winter people can't do that. Embrace it ladies.
    first time momma
    -a heart at peace gives life to the body-
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @Tnallen107 123lbs at 5ft is not "huge" at all! That is actually in the "ideal" weight for an non-pregnant woman if you look at the BMI charts. 
  • @jamiesc58 You are my new best friend. :heart: 
    first time momma
    -a heart at peace gives life to the body-
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I also hate to hear people comment on the number and frequency of children. We hope to have a second one close together. If we're lucky enough to conceive as soon as we would like, I know we'll get comments, just because I've heard family comment cousins ALREADY being pregnant again. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • "Are you SUUUUURE you aren't having twins?" with a meaningful look towards my belly. I am *all* bump these days, and being stuck on bed rest for a month didn't help.





  • @Allisun85 my mom has asked me, way more than once, if I am sure they didn't miss a second one in there. I am only 5'2" so there is no room for the belly to go but outwards. I feel huge! 
  • I'm in the same boat! I'm 5'5 with long legs, so my torso is VERY short. I think that is the problem.




  • It drives me crazy when people say "I just don't know if I'll be able to love this baby as much as we love DD." I already struggle with that mindset and I feel bad for this LO because DD was the first grandchild on either side of the family so I know that this baby has a lot to live up to. 

    I know once he is here they won't say anything like that but I'm stressed enough about it without having people remind me that I'm about to have this fierce crazy love for another baby. 
  • @Bookhousegirl yeah, I think it's more of a love DD so much they don't think they could love another baby as much as her. I know it's not true but it's still annoying to hear. 
  • @Snaps816 I was kinda shocked with my post baby body with DD. I was back at my pre pregnancy weight but my stomach was really loose and I carried the weight completely different. I had no idea how to dress and I fell into a I don't really care kind of attitude. 

    Im hoping after this LO I'll have a better idea of what to expect. I don't plan on having another baby, if at all, at least not for the next couple of years so I'm already pretty motivated to lose the weight after baby. If that motivation stays once he is here is the question. 
  • @snaps816 Honestly - after I hit 30 I noticed my body had changed significantly from my 22 year old self. Like, literally my old jeans still fit, but they didn't flatter. The cut was totally wrong.

    So it's not JUST having kids that does it. Growing older does too, in ways you absolutely can't control.




  • I've been lucky that I haven't really gotten any "rude" comments so far, but the thing that pisses me off the most is the unsolicited advice and ignorant comments, ESPECIALLY from men.  I know a few younger guys who have kids and they think they "know" what it's like to be pregnant because they have been around pregnant women.  Well while my husband may be one of the most empathetic people in the world, he would never pretend for a second to really know what it's like to be pregnant, especially when it's someone else besides me.  He may have a good insight into my pregnancy because I share everything with him, but I know and he knows full well that m experience is potentially very different from other pregnant women.

    Here are a few examples:

    "Oh come on, you can do that, my wife did [x, y, z] while she was pregnant!" That's nice. Do I look like your wife?
    "Definitely get the epidural." - really. why? because it made labor easier for you since she was a lot calmer?
    "Should you be eating/drinking that?" actually, yes, because I freaking want to (and I've probably discussed it with my dr already)
    "A little bit of sushi/wine/deli meat won't hurt you."  Maybe not, but did you taken into consideration my comfort level with consuming said products when you offered me that excellent advice?

    For the most part guys are generally harmless and get an eye roll from me, but those questions/comments definitely fall under the "stupid sh*t people say" category.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @luckypod "Definitely get the epidural." - really. why? because it made labor easier for you since she was a lot calmer? - This definitely made me laugh. Such a guy perspective.



  • I have this one student who tells me at least 2/3 times a week how her aunt was "tore up" and keeps saying how awful birth was for her. Thanks students... thanks a lot that's exactly what I want to hear. 

    Today I got "Mrs. E you look like you are smuggling a basketball under that dress... cute dress though" Compliment or nah?

    I really should start keeping a running list of sh!t my students say...
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I had to travel for work a couple of weeks ago and was on 4 planes within 1 week (and learned pressure from planes now makes me swell up... cool). At one of the locations, a lady that I hadn't seen since pre-pregnancy said "I can't really tell you're pregnant from your belly, but I can see it in your face."

    Ummm... thanks?
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Same here @rikopy and I'm all, thanks but I didn't ask for your opinion.

    I get the, "Oh but mostly it's just all in your belly because you're tall it doesn't look like you gained that much!"

    I just stare at them when they tell me this because I find it so beyond rude and wonder what they tell others
    who aren't necessarily tall. Wtf? There are people out there who carry mostly in their belly despite their height so your justification in where I'm storing all my fat is invalid. You're not to tell me where I'm carrying MY fat, honey. I'll be the judge of that.
  • I haven't had any really dumb things (and I was expecting tons!) Other than someone telling me it was great I would be working from home because that's the most important thing a woman can do -- be home with her children.

    I quietly kept my mouth shut about my husband planning on not working the first year after the birth even though I work from home. I'm going back to work a month after the birth, and yeah, I'll be around and I'm blessed to be able to do that, but there are so many things wrong about assuming that every woman should be the primary caretaker of the children. (Trying really hard to not go in to my giant rant about that. There's nothing wrong with doing so and nothing wrong with not doing so. No two women or families are the same. I'll limit myself to that. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir.)

    I am headed up to see my family for the first time since getting pregnant (22 weeks now), and I'm curious if some annoying/funny things will come up. I get along with them really well now, but they really don't think before speaking...
  • My DS was also due in August, and the first few months after I announced the pregnancy, I had so many comments at work about how miserable I was going to be over the summer.  It felt like every single person would be like, "AUGUST!? Oh how Horrible!"  Yes we live in Florida, but come on!

    I got so annoyed by it, that I actually found a list online of all the reasons why is was bad to have a baby in the winter.  I would keep the list on my desk, and anytime someone made an August comment, I would just start reading from it! LOL  

    I think the problem was that I sat in an open office environment, so people would stop and chat all the time.  It hasn't really happened as much this time around, as luckily I'm in a different office with actual walls! :)

  • At a party with DH's family this weekend, DH's grandfather said to me "I don't remember you ever getting this big with your first". Gee, thanks. First of all, I may be a bit bigger, but I definitely was this big and then some with DS1. Second of all, you were in Florida for the last 4 months of my pregnancy, so how would you know?! Ugh, I just looked and him and sarcastically said "wow, well thank you for the compliment" and walked away. Of course DH's family jumped to his defense, which just added to my fury. 



  • We visited my in-laws last weekend and I thought I had made it through the weekend without any belly touching.  Until we were walking out the door and she patted my belly and said "Nice little paunch you have going there!"  To which my husband responded with that wasn't very nice or something along the lines, so she said the same thing to him!   And then said to me "Oh, but it's all baby, it's so firm!"  Which you wouldn't have known if you had just kept your hands to yourself. 

    Oh, and the day before we were confirming that we aren't finding out the sex this time and she said "I'm really hoping for a a little girl, but we will settle for what we get!"  For once I actually responded with, "Yes, you will have to because it's already been decided!"  Ugh.

    Between those comments and the overload of presents (one of which seemed to directly try to one up my parent's Christmas gift to DS), I was happy I made it through the weekend with just one response.
    BabyFruit Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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