Stupid Sh!t People Say!

ShanRum3

We were at a birthday party for my nephew today, and my SIL's Dad mad a bunch of stupid comments about what I was eating... mind you, I had lots of apple slices and some cheese on my plate. I was getting a little bit of caramel to dip my apples in and he tells me "that's how you get fat!" I wanted to throat punch him... He knows I'm pregnant (as is my 18 year old niece who is about 3 weeks behind me) and just keeps saying shit about what I eat. Last month at my great nephew's 1st Birthday party, he stood and watched me eat a small piece of cake, then proceeded to ask me if I REALLY needed that last bite! I just stood there stunned last time, but I was prepared this time. I had told DH before we went over that if this dude runs his mouth to me, I had some choice words for him. I kept my words in check, but I did make some snarky remarks back to him. That was HOURS ago, and it my blood still boils from it!

cm716

I have two girls and am pregnant with a boy. EVERYONE keeps asking me "is this your last?" or they don't even ask, they just assume. "Oh since it's a boy, you must be done."

 A. It's none of your business.
 B. I haven't decided if I'm done or not.  
C. We weren't 'trying' for a boy because we were so disappointed to have two girls. We got pregnant because we wanted another CHILD.

Ok, rant over. This feels good.

ShanRum3

@cm716 I'm in a similar situation, although I'm having a 3rd boy. I'm tired of people looking at me all sad eyed because I'm not having a girl. Truth is, I kind of wanted a girl, but now that I know we are having a boy, I am SO much more at ease! I'm the world to my boys, and quite frankly, I LOVE it! They call me the princess of the house, and really, there isn't room in this house for another princess! People keep asking me if I'm going to try again... the answer is NO!! I'm 35, so already AMA, and this one came as a surprise!

ballofmeat

I work with hazardous chemicals at work. My employer has a policy outlining which ones are not safe for pregnant or lactating women. So there are a handful of tasks I can not do while pregnant.

There is this one bitch who has worked there for twenty years and has three adult children and likes to say things like, "I didn't use pregnancy as an excuse not to do my job back in the day and my kids turned out just fine." Or my personal favorite, "You worry too much about what is safe, you are probably going to do more harm to your child by worrying so much." I close this shit down every time, but she has such a bully like personality and loves to get a reaction. Now I just pretend like I don't hear her.

And I know I have mentioned this before, but if one more person tells me it sucks I'm going to pregnant alllllllll summer I may actually punch them. 

JLyn821

When I was pregnant with DS, a co-worker kept bringing stuff in for me for him. She had two boys and was finished having kids. At one point, she brought in something (I can't remember what it was), and I mentioned I don't want to use anything like that with our car seat.

The next time she brought a bunch of stuff in, she brought me a Bundle Me that has the bottom part goes between baby and the car seat. Something that's not recommended anymore. I mentioned we wouldn't use it. She said, "Oh that's right. You think if you use something like this you'll kill your baby." Um...no. Things have changed in the few years since your kids were infants. I couldn't believe she actually said that.

I also had another co-worker say while I was pregnant with DS, "You must be having a girl because you're carrying all over like a watermelon." Meanwhile, I was sitting at the time and you know how your bump just kind of spreads a little when you're sitting. Also, I was far enough along at that point that everyone knew I was having a boy.

Shockingly, I haven't gotten any rude comments yet this time around. Then again, I SAH now and don't have to deal with those co-workers anymore.

bearsandbeets7

When I pregnant with DD we went out to eat with DHs family. I was just starting to show so I wore a cute maternity shirt and my FIL said "well you're finally starting to show. For a while I thought you were just getting fat and using pregnancy as an excuse." I'm used to him making ridiculous comments about any and everything so I fired back with "yeah what's your excuse." He hasn't said anything yet this time but I haven't seen him in about 2 months so we'll see. 

ballofmeat

Lynnlove28 said:

When I pregnant with DD we went out to eat with DHs family. I was just starting to show so I wore a cute maternity shirt and my FIL said "well you're finally starting to show. For a while I thought you were just getting fat and using pregnancy as an excuse." I'm used to him making ridiculous comments about any and everything so I fired back with "yeah what's your excuse." He hasn't said anything yet this time but I haven't seen him in about 2 months so we'll see. 

Ugh that is annoying! I will never get why people think it's ok to say a pregnant woman is synonymous with the word fat. No, just no. 

bearsandbeets7

midwestbaby said:

Lynnlove28 said:

When I pregnant with DD we went out to eat with DHs family. I was just starting to show so I wore a cute maternity shirt and my FIL said "well you're finally starting to show. For a while I thought you were just getting fat and using pregnancy as an excuse." I'm used to him making ridiculous comments about any and everything so I fired back with "yeah what's your excuse." He hasn't said anything yet this time but I haven't seen him in about 2 months so we'll see. 

Ugh that is annoying! I will never get why people think it's ok to say a pregnant woman is synonymous with the word fat. No, just no. 

Exactly! I went into a store the other day and they had their plus size clothes and their maternity clothes on the same rack. It literally said plus size/maternity. 

cm716

@midwestbaby I'm so tired of people of people telling me I'm gonna be pregnant all summer long!!! It's not like I looked at the calendar and said "Yes, I'd love to deliver a baby in the August heat of Texas." insert eye roll.

emmeline714

I hated when my ex boss compared my pregnancy with his gfs pregnancy I wanted to throat punch him, I use to bartend and waitress but I was working to much on my feet that one night I started bleeding and I freaked out because I thought I was loosing my child since I've had a miscarriage before so I told him I'm going to the ER and he was like who is going to work and I told him figure it out because I rather be safe than sorry and his gf was like well I bled a little when I was pregnant and I and baby were just fine I told her not all pregnancy are the same and you have never lost a child so I'm leaving and never went back I still have to go get my last paycheck but there words just piss me off, the doctor told me I co u ld not be on my feet a lot so had to be put on bedrest oh and another thing he would say is how long are you going to work because my gf worked until the day she had to give birth he made me more mad can people stop comparing pregnancy and mind you my boss is like 57 and his gf is 23 I'm 26 gah 

TCUFrog08

@cm716  I get this all the time!! Whenever I tell people I am due in August, their 1st comment is always "Ouch, the summer will be brutal for you. Pregnant in the Texas heat" I have started responding with " well aren't you just full of opinions. Don't worry, I won't whine to you about it" 

I have always been someone who just keeps quiet with peoples advice, but I have started just responding to peoples negative comments/advice with " Well I see you have an opinion I didn't ask for you"  or " Good to know your opinion. Good thing it doesn't matter" A little rude- but tends to shut people right up. I just don't care anymore!! 

Positive comments/advice- I accept with full arms. 

ramoseecology

At my book club I walk in and one of the women tells me "oh you've grown". No shit it's been at least 6 weeks since you saw me last and I'm not wearing loose clothes. She then proceeds to say "maybe it's twins". This lady is older and very large, she really doesn't know to not say stupid things? I think I would know if I'm having twins by this point.

Bookhousegirl

@ramoseecology one of DH's family members is consistently commenting on how she thinks I'm having twins. First of all, I've had 3 ultrasounds, and all show 1 baby, and yet you somehow think you know better because you're looking at my stomach? Ok...Second of all, gee, thanks for the implication that I'm bigger than I should be. 

@ShanRum3 that is ridiculous about the food comments!! Why do people feel like they suddenly become your doctor once you get pregnant. It is my biggest gripe with being pregnant, I hate that people now think it's acceptable to comment on my body, weight and eating habits. 

kmlovato

No one has said anything super stupid to me yet, but there is this super petite woman who is due in April at my work. Every time we had a staff food event, this one guy would crack "jokes" about how he had better get in line before she did or all the food would be gone. I wanted to punch him for her. 

Snaps816

@JLyn821  It's tough when people want to give you their old baby things. If you say "no thanks" it gets awkward, like they think you're judging their parenting, or think you're better than them, just because you want to choose your own stroller or whatever. 

@emmeline714 That boss sounds like a sleaze, and in the long run, you probably dodged a bullet by leaving that job. If he thought he could tell you how to handle your pregnancy (conveniently in a way that put his needs first), he'd probably do the same when your baby is born. 

Curls919

Thankfully no one has said anything stupid this time around but with DS my boss would say almost every day "you're getting so big!" And "you'll never make it to September". I'm still convinced she somehow jinxed me because he came in late August at 36w. 

emmeline714

@Snaps816 yeah he told my brother he needed me because his gf takes their daughter to work and have her behind the bar crying and it's so busy but I will not go back but I do need my money but just irks me 

emmeline714

I do miss bringing 600/week but doctor told me I can't work on my feet and be up out at 4am on weekends because is not good for baby 

squishy0511

One of my coworker's asked how far along I was and when I told her she said "you know you're REALLY big for only being that far right?" Ummm thanks. I was actually worried that I was smaller than I should be but guess I shouldn't worry, lol. 

Another told me I should be getting up in the middle of the night to eat because the baby is hungry then. I told her no thanks- I like my sleep and I'll eat when I'm hungry! 

No more Miss!

This post should be called Sh!t stupid people say...

Curls919

squishy0511 said:

Another told me I should be getting up in the middle of the night to eat because the baby is hungry then. I told her no thanks- I like my sleep and I'll eat when I'm hungry! 

Wtf??  I think she's confusing being pregnant and having a newborn. Your baby doesn't "get hungry" when it's inside you. You eat when you eat and the baby will get its nutrients just fine.  People are morons. 

mamaqdubu

SIL "I can't wait to see you miserable in the middle of the summer heat" (because I'm usually the observer/non-complainer type) 

when is that appropriate to say to anyone in any situation? Just plain rude. 

ashleybaker712

I've gotten the "middle of summer" comments. I remind them DS was born in mid September, I know what I'm in for. 

My husband's grandmother keeps telling me she "can't believe I'm pregnant because I don't act pregnant." How does one act pregnant? Should I walk around with a shirt that says I'm pregnant? She also told me she thinks the baby will end up being a boy, after we had the anatomy scan. I wanted to say, "We saw a vagina. It's a girl!"

Katm89

Amazing how many people tell me I'll be miserable this summer. I'm usually very cold even during the summer, so I am actually excited about feeling warm enough to wear dresses and shorts regularly.

I just got accepted into the MBA program at the University I work for, but for some reason my coworkers like to remind me that maybe I won't attend after the baby arrives or I may choose to stay home. Why do people just brush you off like you can't actually make decisions.( I won't even start my classes until late january, because I'll be on maternity leave until November)

SkiChic626

Everyone keeps telling me that I look so much healthier and smaller this pregnancy.  First of all, compared to 23w with DD, I'm WAY bigger - I can show you a side-by-side pic, my cravings have been horrendous this time and I give in to every single one - so not healthy, and I've gained 8lbs this time vs last time by now I had hardly gained one single lb, and I'm so much more uncomfortable this time it's a lot harder to sit in one position too long or get up from the ground when with DD that didn't happen until much much later.  Sooooo....no, you're wrong, so STFU.  All people remember from DD was that I got sooooo big at the end because I got preeclampsia and I was retaining water like crazy.  I was down to my pp weight 11 days after she was born....that was 43 lbs of water weight people.  I'm only 23w right now, of course I don't look like that yet.  Ugh!

Edited to add similar comments to the above:
When I tell people we're having a boy, they respond with oh how perfect!  Yes, it is great, and I'm super excited and nervous, but truth be told I actually wanted another girl first so that DD could have a sister close in age to her.  It didn't work out that way, but I'm still thrilled to have a healthy baby cooking in there.  And just because we'll have a girl and a boy doesn't mean we're done.  Maybe once he's here and we get acclimated to life with two our minds will change, but right now we still want at least three kiddos.  Maybe I shouldn't be annoyed with this comment, but I can't help it.

I also get the "oh hot pregnant summer blah blah blah" crap, and I never even gave it a second thought when we found out our EDD.  I'm a hot sweaty mess all summer anyway, I just tend to run hot, so I feel like it won't be any different.  Actually, I might be cooler since I'll probably be spending more time inside once he's here than I normally would.

SkiChic626

JLyn821 said:

When I was pregnant with DS, a co-worker kept bringing stuff in for me for him. She had two boys and was finished having kids. At one point, she brought in something (I can't remember what it was), and I mentioned I don't want to use anything like that with our car seat.

The next time she brought a bunch of stuff in, she brought me a Bundle Me that has the bottom part goes between baby and the car seat. Something that's not recommended anymore. I mentioned we wouldn't use it. She said, "Oh that's right. You think if you use something like this you'll kill your baby." Um...no. Things have changed in the few years since your kids were infants. I couldn't believe she actually said that.

I also had another co-worker say while I was pregnant with DS, "You must be having a girl because you're carrying all over like a watermelon." Meanwhile, I was sitting at the time and you know how your bump just kind of spreads a little when you're sitting. Also, I was far enough along at that point that everyone knew I was having a boy.

Shockingly, I haven't gotten any rude comments yet this time around. Then again, I SAH now and don't have to deal with those co-workers anymore.

This is why I just take things that people want to give us, say thanks, and then either toss or donate them after they're out of sight  

Alyeena

My sister does the "I judge what food you eat thing" She came to stay with us for two weeks to visit and after a few days I said that no one gets to comment on my food so she stopped. But I could see it in her eyes I swear... And it is not like I make such horrible food decisions either, like I won't feel like eating a huge meal so I will just have a small tortilla sandwich or if I eat some M&M's. She didn't like my daily can of coke either and I am just like *sigh* why?

I don't like feeling bad about what I eat, I used to struggle with an eating disorder and not eat for days at a time, up to a whole week... just drinking water. So in my book anytime I do eat it is a win, even if that was years ago.

I have not gotten the pregnant during the whole summer comments, but I am sure it is coming xD

ballofmeat

@Alyeena if I didn't have my daily can of Coke I would be miserable. I figure I gave up coffee and wine and this is my trade off. I love that you told her no one gets to comment on your food. Does your sister have kids just out of curiosity? 

cm716

@skichic626 my friend got side eyed/comments all the time when she was pregnant with her third after having a boy and a girl! So annoying! 

SkiChic626

cm716 said:

@skichic626 my friend got side eyed/comments all the time when she was pregnant with her third after having a boy and a girl! So annoying! 

Seriously???  It's like, oh, I'm sorry for procreating and doing what our bodies are biologically meant to do.  It's not about the sex of my kids, it's about the love we give each other and watching them grow into productive members of society.  This third one could be your caregiver one day when you're old and your kids either aren't around or you decide not to have any....so shut it!  See, I'm already coming up with responses for when we have #3 LOL!

NICU RN

I have had a couple good ones.  When I told my husband's family at Christmas, my SIL said "yeah, we were talking about how you looked like you had a belly at Thanksgiving". I didn't get pregnant until the week after Thanksgiving.  So basically they were just gossiping about me being fat.

Then at work, I stood up and one of the patients said "oh my god, you're pregnant again!". When is said yes, her response was "whoops!". WTF. This was a very planned (infertility treatments) baby. Not an accident. How insulting.

SkiChic626

@NICU RN said:

I have had a couple good ones.  When I told my husband's family at Christmas, my SIL said "yeah, we were talking about how you looked like you had a belly at Thanksgiving". I didn't get pregnant until the week after Thanksgiving.  So basically they were just gossiping about me being fat.

Then at work, I stood up and one of the patients said "oh my god, you're pregnant again!". When is said yes, her response was "whoops!". WTF. This was a very planned (infertility treatments) baby. Not an accident. How insulting.

As an fellow IFer, I think that kind of comment would have made me say something to the effect, of "yeah, it was a major accident when they unfroze one of our embryos and then we consciously made an appointment to have it implanted into my uterus, oh and all those hormone injections I did for 12 weeks....whoops."

Alyeena

midwestbaby said:

@Alyeena if I didn't have my daily can of Coke I would be miserable. I figure I gave up coffee and wine and this is my trade off. I love that you told her no one gets to comment on your food. Does your sister have kids just out of curiosity? 

Oh no not yet, she is 23 and still in university, not ready for that. But she is like a gourmet person, she likes to make all kinds of different foods. So do I to be honest, but not all the time, I feel like at some point you just want to make something easy and eat what you crave even if it is just a sandwich xD

I never liked coffee but always loved coke, plus one can has only 34 mg of caffeine in it so it it well under the limit per day.

Alyeena

cm716 said:

@skichic626 my friend got side eyed/comments all the time when she was pregnant with her third after having a boy and a girl! So annoying! 

I don't understand the opinion of some people that if you have one of each then *poof* perfect family and you should not want more kids.

Or if you have two of the same and try for a third people assume it is because you want the other sex. Really? I hope I will never have to deal with comments like that. We plan on having another biological child after this one. And then adopting a sibling set. Hopefully it all goes well.

ethiwen4

Got side eye from other moms at the playground when I showed up with my toddler and a Tall Iced Coffee from Starbucks.  "You shouldn't be having caffeine."  Well, you shouldn't be commenting on other people's lives and decisions and yet here we are...

Also had a bit of a lie in, the other morning, closed my door with DD and put on some Bear in the Big Blue House on the TV and snuggled/dozed with her for an hour after we woke.  My MIL (whom we live with currently)  asked very worriedly if I was sure I was ok.  I said "Yep, just pregnant and tired."  What the heck?  Am I not allowed a lie in without being ill?

Curls919

ethiwen4 said:

Also had a bit of a lie in, the other morning, closed my door with DD and put on some Bear in the Big Blue House on the TV and snuggled/dozed with her for an hour after we woke.  My MIL (whom we live with currently)  asked very worriedly if I was sure I was ok.  I said "Yep, just pregnant and tired."  What the heck?  Am I not allowed a lie in without being ill?

I was exhausted the other night and falling asleep on the couch at 9pm.  DH was like "what is wrong with you??"  My response "ummm, I'm pregnant you moron!"

Snaps816

ethiwen4 said:

Got side eye from other moms at the playground when I showed up with my toddler and a Tall Iced Coffee from Starbucks.  "You shouldn't be having caffeine."  Well, you shouldn't be commenting on other people's lives and decisions and yet here we are...

I do not understand why people think this. Every resource I've checked says that up to 200mg per day is ok. Some sources even say 300! I've been having a single-shot iced latte every work day, which is 75 mg, and have schooled a handful of people who tell me I shouldn't be having it. I do the math and keep track of all the caffeine I have in a day, I'm not just being careless. I can have that latte and also a diet coke with my lunch and be well under the limit. Also, I want to tell these people that if they had to pee three times a night, sleep only on their sides, contend with nightly heartburn, and try to get comfortable with a brand new melon-sized appendage attached to their body, they'd need some caffeine, too!   

bearsandbeets7

Am I the only one who doesn't really pay much attention to my caffeine intake? I don't drink coffee at all and only have the occasional soda so I have no shame when I do drink one. I drink tea but that doesn't have much caffeine. I didn't realize there were so many "no caffeine at all" people out there. I'm pretty sure I need more caffeine now that I'm pregnant. 

ethiwen4

Snaps816 said:

Also, I want to tell these people that if they had to pee three times a night, sleep only on their sides, contend with nightly heartburn, and try to get comfortable with a brand new melon-sized appendage attached to their body, they'd need some caffeine, too!   

Right?!   Add in a two year old and you have the recipe for my special sleep deprivation hell.

SkiChic626

Lynnlove28 said:

Am I the only one who doesn't really pay much attention to my caffeine intake? I don't drink coffee at all and only have the occasional soda so I have no shame when I do drink one. I drink tea but that doesn't have much caffeine. I didn't realize there were so many "no caffeine at all" people out there. I'm pretty sure I need more caffeine now that I'm pregnant. 

I don't pay attention to it at all.  I sometimes have a Teavana from SBUX, and I know that has 80-100 mg, so I won't have multiple of those everyday.  I had to quit coffee during IF treatments, so I just never jumped back on the bandwagon after that, so not being a coffee drinker, I'm with you  Now I wonder how much I'm taking in when I eat an entire box of chocolates hahaha!  I never gave it a second thought.

cm716

I don't pay any attention to my caffeine either! I have a can every day with lunch. I second responses about why! I'm pregnant, tired, and chase two kids every day