My UO - I think if you opt for a home birth, you're a selfish idiot. You are NOT doing it for your baby, you're doing it for yourself. Put your own selfish desires for your own comfort aside, and give your new child the best opportunity to actually have any medical care needed when they are born.
I'll be in and out (at work) but flame away.
As a nurse who works in a hospital, I'm going to respectfully disagree. I'm not, however, going to get into an argument with you or attempt to point out why your statements are uninformed and incorrect, because someone who calls a huge group of women "selfish idiots" obviously has their own strong opinion and will likely not be swayed by any amount of evidence to the contrary.
QFP. Aaaand here we go. I'd also like to point out that pretty much saying, "you're wrong but I don't want to explain because it's useless", is actually useless in and of itself. Just sayin'.
You wanted some snark! I wrote my opinion in detail on the "how many of you are planning a home birth" thread. I could copy and paste if you'd like. I mostly meant here that there's no point in arguing when blanket statements like that are made, and that blanket statements themselves are generally incorrect. There are very few things that are black and white.
Very few things are black and white, except for the infant/mother mortality rates now vs 100+ years ago.
i didnt participate on the home birth thread, because I clearly don't agree. I don't think it's cool to walk into a room and tell everyone my negative opinion of their belief. But as you said, the UO thread would be boring without any actual unpopular opinions, so that is mine.
I have witnessed a home birth that went shockingly wrong and could have had a very tragic outcome due to an error by a midwifery student. The mother was coerced into a home birth by her MIL, a midwife. After the utter panic and the ambulance being called, there's honestly not a person on earth who could sway my opinion.
A birthing center as you have described above is not the same thing as a home birth, and is worth considering IMO. Someone's home which is down a dark country road, 20 miles from the nearest hospital, and in the dead of winter is not a good idea for a home birth to me.
(Apologies for my jumbled thoughts on the matter)
I've probably been on The Bump longer than you have.
After 31 cycles, baby boy K (IUI) born 11/03/11
BFP (Femara) - 08/09/13 m/c around 6 weeks. xoxox Baby April
@carlatron they didn't seem jumbled to me and while I'll be delivering at a hospital I agree that there is a difference between a Birthing Center vs a Home Birth.
My UO - I think if you opt for a home birth, you're a selfish idiot. You are NOT doing it for your baby, you're doing it for yourself. Put your own selfish desires for your own comfort aside, and give your new child the best opportunity to actually have any medical care needed when they are born.
I'll be in and out (at work) but flame away.
As a nurse who works in a hospital, I'm going to respectfully disagree. I'm not, however, going to get into an argument with you or attempt to point out why your statements are uninformed and incorrect, because someone who calls a huge group of women "selfish idiots" obviously has their own strong opinion and will likely not be swayed by any amount of evidence to the contrary.
QFP. Aaaand here we go. I'd also like to point out that pretty much saying, "you're wrong but I don't want to explain because it's useless", is actually useless in and of itself. Just sayin'.
You wanted some snark! I wrote my opinion in detail on the "how many of you are planning a home birth" thread. I could copy and paste if you'd like. I mostly meant here that there's no point in arguing when blanket statements like that are made, and that blanket statements themselves are generally incorrect. There are very few things that are black and white.
Very few things are black and white, except for the infant/mother mortality rates now vs 100+ years ago.
i didnt participate on the home birth thread, because I clearly don't agree. I don't think it's cool to walk into a room and tell everyone my negative opinion of their belief. But as you said, the UO thread would be boring without any actual unpopular opinions, so that is mine.
I have witnessed a home birth that went shockingly wrong and could have had a very tragic outcome due to an error by a midwifery student. The mother was coerced into a home birth by her MIL, a midwife. After the utter panic and the ambulance being called, there's honestly not a person on earth who could sway my opinion.
A birthing center as you have described above is not the same thing as a home birth, and is worth considering IMO. Someone's home which is down a dark country road, 20 miles from the nearest hospital, and in the dead of winter is not a good idea for a home birth to me.
(Apologies for my jumbled thoughts on the matter)
That's awful! I'm so sorry that happened. No one should ever be coerced into a home birth. It needs to be something that mamas go into knowing the risks and knowing that their midwife has the training and experience to act quickly before things get to the point of an emergency. And I definitely agree that a home birth far away from a hospital shouldn't even be considered!
My sister in law is a midwife who went through three years of college (beyond her first bachelor's) and two more years of training before she started practicing on her own. The variation in training that midwives have is pretty terrifying and I think there's a lot of potential for error if someone doesn't do their research on who they choose. I think there's a big difference between home birth very near a hospital with a CNM or CPM with a decade or more of experience and a college education; and a home birth with someone who did their training online with a short apprenticeship, in a house far away from civilization. It's sad (and dangerous) that it isn't more regulated.
I think that it is important for mamas deciding between home and hospital to know the risks and I don't think either way is talked about enough. It does often seem to end up being a decision based on physical comfort, which like you said, is an irresponsible reason to choose home birth.
I'm choosing a birth center because of the extra resources and because it's closer to our city's best hospital just in case, but I still feel like there are situations in which someone can make a safe, informed decision to give birth at home.
I don't think you sounded jumbled at all. I hope we can agree to disagree and still be friends (I mean eventually, it's hard to be friends with an Internet stranger right off the bat, but we hopefully have til November to get to know each other!)
Me: 29, DH: 29 Married 9/27/14 TTC #1 since 8/15/15 BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16 BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16 November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
As far as twisting it into something negative, to me, calling people selfish idiots is pretty negative, but I'm not taking offense. OP just feels strongly, and that's fine. I feel strongly too, but I see both sides and I'm not going to call anyone names. I think that the hospital is a great place to give birth if that's what you want, and/or if you're high risk. I don't think it makes you an idiot to want to give birth at home with a highly trained midwife when you're low risk and have done your research.
The UO thread would be pretty boring if everyone always agreed with each other, don't you think?
Yeah, I wasn't saying at all that you had to agree. I just think it's utterly ridiculous to say, "You're wrong but you aren't worth the time it takes to explain why." It's sanctimonious.
Looks like this is an UO around these parts. I do not like plastic surgery. I think it's a goofy thing to do. I'm a big fan of natural aging.
edited because I sounded like a judgey jerk
Not at all a judgey jerk. I'll probably chicken out anyways. I don't even wear make up let alone be able to go through with surgery but man!!! I really want my boobs back.
I use Nurture by Glow for my pregnancy app. I've tried several different ones and I like the set up of this one the best, however, the Community IS RIDICULOUS. Women who are 4 weeks pregnant posting 'bump' pictures? Get out of here with that.
I use that tracking app too - love the daily growth updates! But the community. OMG. *rolls eyes*
I like that it's log reminds me to do kegels.
Me: 30 DH: 32 ~~ TTC #1: Sep 2015 ~~ BFP: Mar 2016 ~~ Daughter: Nov 2016 TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
I use Nurture by Glow for my pregnancy app. I've tried several different ones and I like the set up of this one the best, however, the Community IS RIDICULOUS. Women who are 4 weeks pregnant posting 'bump' pictures? Get out of here with that.
I use that tracking app too - love the daily growth updates! But the community. OMG. *rolls eyes*
I like that it's log reminds me to do kegels.
Maybe I need to get this app. I ALWAYS forget to do the Kegels.
I use Nurture by Glow for my pregnancy app. I've tried several different ones and I like the set up of this one the best, however, the Community IS RIDICULOUS. Women who are 4 weeks pregnant posting 'bump' pictures? Get out of here with that.
I use that tracking app too - love the daily growth updates! But the community. OMG. *rolls eyes*
I like that it's log reminds me to do kegels.
Maybe I need to get this app. I ALWAYS forget to do the Kegels.
Whellllp, just did my first kegels this pregnancy JUST NOW.
me . late 30's | h . early 40's | < 3 . 2013
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016 BFP . jan 2017 DD . oct 2017
ntnp #2 . summer 2018 mmc x2 . sep 2018 & may 2019 RE workup, dx MTHFR mutation, ultimately unexplained . summer 2019 surprise BFP . aug 2019 DS . may 2020
dx Hashimoto's 2023 ttc #3 . feb 2023 mmc . apr 2023 mmc x3 . mar/jul/aug 2024 dx elevated nk cells tx ovasitol, levothyroxine, baby aspirin, LP progesterone, lovenox, prednisone, femara + ti . jan 2025 BFP . mar 2025
That's awful! I'm so sorry that happened. No one should ever be coerced into a home birth. It needs to be something that mamas go into knowing the risks and knowing that their midwife has the training and experience to act quickly before things get to the point of an emergency. And I definitely agree that a home birth far away from a hospital shouldn't even be considered!
My sister in law is a midwife who went through three years of college (beyond her first bachelor's) and two more years of training before she started practicing on her own. The variation in training that midwives have is pretty terrifying and I think there's a lot of potential for error if someone doesn't do their research on who they choose. I think there's a big difference between home birth very near a hospital with a CNM or CPM with a decade or more of experience and a college education; and a home birth with someone who did their training online with a short apprenticeship, in a house far away from civilization. It's sad (and dangerous) that it isn't more regulated.
I think that it is important for mamas deciding between home and hospital to know the risks and I don't think either way is talked about enough. It does often seem to end up being a decision based on physical comfort, which like you said, is an irresponsible reason to choose home birth.
I'm choosing a birth center because of the extra resources and because it's closer to our city's best hospital just in case, but I still feel like there are situations in which someone can make a safe, informed decision to give birth at home.
I don't think you sounded jumbled at all. I hope we can agree to disagree and still be friends (I mean eventually, it's hard to be friends with an Internet stranger right off the bat, but we hopefully have til November to get to know each other!)
Of course! And honestly, I see where you're coming from and apologize for the sweeping generalization. It's the lack of regulation that is the worst part, and it seems that's where we agree. It terrifies me.
Honestly, I prefer to be friends with people who don't blindly agree with everything I say, and I certainly don't mind a spirited debate. I'm sure we'll find time to chat between now and November.
I've probably been on The Bump longer than you have.
After 31 cycles, baby boy K (IUI) born 11/03/11
BFP (Femara) - 08/09/13 m/c around 6 weeks. xoxox Baby April
The crazy board organization is exhausting to me. I wish people would just post what they want instead of trying to figure out which freaking check-in or pinned post they should use. I think that's the biggest reason things are still so tame/slow here.
Me: 38 l DH: 41 Gavin - 8/27/10 *TW* Gabriel - 2nd tri loss 5/17/16 Trisomy 18 & 21 Hope - 2nd tri loss 12/7/16 complications from pneumonia
I think nurse-ins are counterproductive and I'm generally opposed. I 100% support the right to breastfeed any damn place you want (and fully intend to stand up for my right to, of necessary), but protesting one teenage minimum wage worker's idiotic opinion that you're disturbing customers by getting together 20 of your closest mom friends to purposely flash breasts and nipples during the dinner rush to "prove a point" just proves the initial haters right that you're just doing it for the attention.
I have another UO. I think kids are too damn coddled. This happens especially with girls - let them climb things for christsake. Let them run around and adventure. My niece is 3 and a half and she's still treated like a kid that'll fall over if you let go of her hand. It drives me fucking crazy.
I read about kids in Switzerland or somewhere learning to responsibly use knives at the age of 4 and learning to build fires and things shortly after. H and I have an outdoorsy lifestyle, and that's how we want to raise our kids. A sense of independence is good for kids, even if they get hurt once in a while.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I have another UO. I think kids are too damn coddled. This happens especially with girls - let them climb things for christsake. Let them run around and adventure. My niece is 3 and a half and she's still treated like a kid that'll fall over if you let go of her hand. It drives me fucking crazy.
I read about kids in Switzerland or somewhere learning to responsibly use knives at the age of 4 and learning to build fires and things shortly after. H and I have an outdoorsy lifestyle, and that's how we want to raise our kids. A sense of independence is good for kids, even if they get hurt once in a while.
Totally agree. We are really big on our kids being independent. We expect them to entertain themselves and to be able to solve problems independently. They help me cook and they have meaningful responsibilities around the house. My oldest can go to the park (150' from our house) on his own, which is pretty common in our neighbourhood, but I know lots of people who won't let their 10+ year old kids out of their sight. We used to live in the country (and plan to return) and our kids played alone in our unfenced yard, or groups of kids would go play in the fields and woods behind our house, all the time. Where I'm from, kids work on farms.
Kids are actually safer now than they ever have been, it's just that there's a perception of greater danger because of the constant overexposure to every rare thing that happens. Part of raising kids is giving them the skills to be independent but I had people in my class in their twenties who didn't even know how to do their own laundry which made me shake my head.
K.
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
Oh my goodness, stuck in all the quote boxes. @carlatron I apologize for getting so defensive. It sounds like we can agree on at least a couple things! And yes, life would be boring without some debates. I look forward to getting to know you better
Me: 29, DH: 29 Married 9/27/14 TTC #1 since 8/15/15 BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16 BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16 November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
I have another UO. I think kids are too damn coddled. This happens especially with girls - let them climb things for christsake. Let them run around and adventure. My niece is 3 and a half and she's still treated like a kid that'll fall over if you let go of her hand. It drives me fucking crazy.
I read about kids in Switzerland or somewhere learning to responsibly use knives at the age of 4 and learning to build fires and things shortly after. H and I have an outdoorsy lifestyle, and that's how we want to raise our kids. A sense of independence is good for kids, even if they get hurt once in a while.
I agree, my two year rides a horse. And is out helping on the farm all the time! We've taken the time to teach her saftey, and responsibility. I think it's really important for kids to have independence. With in reason of course!
Looks like this is an UO around these parts. I do not like plastic surgery. I think it's a goofy thing to do. I'm a big fan of natural aging.
edited because I sounded like a judgey jerk
Not at all a judgey jerk. I'll probably chicken out anyways. I don't even wear make up let alone be able to go through with surgery but man!!! I really want my boobs back.
Haha me to. I'm a big chicken, but I want nice boobs again damnit!
I want to get a boob job after this baby! I breast fed 19 months last time, hoping just 12 for this baby. And then I want these boobs back where they use to be.
Part of the deal with this baby was if he wanted it that bad we had to have 10k ear marked for a boob job before we even started trying. Edit: they are too big and pretty to be so low. Must go higher
Awesome Kid #1: Born September 2013! Awesome Kid #2: Due November 2016!
Anyone who doesn't like the board organization obviously never had to spend much time on TTGP. That board knows how to run properly. Board organization is the best! And it's seriously not that hard to figure it out... And it's for the good of the community.
Andplusalso, without board organization, legitimately good threads get pushed off the front page by stupid AW threads, and that sucks.
I want to get a boob job after this baby! I breast fed 19 months last time, hoping just 12 for this baby. And then I want these boobs back where they use to be.
Part of the deal with this baby was if he wanted it that bad we had to have 10k ear marked for a boob job before we even started trying. Edit: they are too big and pretty to be so low. Must go higher
Yup! I was done with kids. I didn't want any more. I had a lot of stipulations. With great love comes great sacrifice. So we saved up a lot. Carefully thought it out. Came up with a plan and executed it.
Anyone who doesn't like the board organization obviously never had to spend much time on TTGP. That board knows how to run properly. Board organization is the best! And it's seriously not that hard to figure it out... And it's for the good of the community.
Andplusalso, without board organization, legitimately good threads get pushed off the front page by stupid AW threads, and that sucks.
The crazy board organization is exhausting to me. I wish people would just post what they want instead of trying to figure out which freaking check-in or pinned post they should use. I think that's the biggest reason things are still so tame/slow here.
Agreed. I think there are WAAAYYYYY to many daily posts. It frustrates me actually and I'm not nearly involved as I was on my past BMB or on TTGP. I'm kinda bummed about this BMB actually.
Anyone who doesn't like the board organization obviously never had to spend much time on TTGP. That board knows how to run properly. Board organization is the best! And it's seriously not that hard to figure it out... And it's for the good of the community.
Andplusalso, without board organization, legitimately good threads get pushed off the front page by stupid AW threads, and that sucks.
Ugh...maybe I'm just not understanding, even after reading the board organization post, the organization of this board. I posted multiple times a day in the threads on TTGP and didn't have the frustration I do now.
The crazy board organization is exhausting to me. I wish people would just post what they want instead of trying to figure out which freaking check-in or pinned post they should use. I think that's the biggest reason things are still so tame/slow here.
Agreed. I think there are WAAAYYYYY to many daily posts. It frustrates me actually and I'm not nearly involved as I was on my past BMB or on TTGP. I'm kinda bummed about this BMB actually.
Yes! I am afraid to post a new thread thinking all I am going to hear is "the search button helps" "if you lurk a little bit you'll see we already talked about this" etc....
Edit it cause I just saw a great example "we have an intro board, it's a great place for intros" who cares. Start a new thread. She's late in the month, new and excited. Gosh darn it lets be excited for her.
The difference between this board and the TTGP board is that there were hundreds of posters over there. Without rules that place would be chaos. We are a much smaller group with far less daily drive-by traffic. While I like the daily posts and I know the crazies will find us, I think the constant enforcing of the arbitrary rules can come off as bossy and unwelcoming. Regulars should be able to post what they want. I think we will all jump of a true SS when they show up and quickly redirect her, but sometimes, while a post might be outside the "rules", it is just a little overkill with the instruction responses.
Ugh...maybe I'm just not understanding, even after reading the board organization post, the organization of this board. I posted multiple times a day in the threads on TTGP and didn't have the frustration I do now.
What's causing the frustration @atcwag? I don't get it. I mean, I agree, I think there are too many daily threads. Not the ticker change threads, but the extra ones; I just don't participate in the ones I don't like.
I agree there are too many daily threads. I think I mentioned it when I was asking what everyone wanted. I figure lets start out with whatever people want and they can change/come and go as needed. Just because its listed on the PSA thread doesn't mean we need to do that thread.
Also there are a lot less people here than on TTGP. I am sure we will still be getting more members as they wait until later to join. It also seems like maybe our BMB could just be a little smaller than the typical BMB. This is part of the reason why people might find it boring/not enough activity, because there just are not that many of us.
Lastly the PSA thread lists the big threads and daily threads that it seems like a lot of people wanted. It just that a list to keep track of what we got going on. No where on it does it say you cannot post your own threads about whatever you want. I certainly am not going to police people here, now if others do that's their deal. I guess I just see the PSA as a quick guide not a bible.
So I was recently bitten by a tick and was googling tick bites during pregnancy, and I came across a (shitshow) baby center board, where someone's signature was THIS: Bitch, your kids are not allergic to any of these things, but you've already decided that you were going to be a mommy martyr.
The difference between this board and the TTGP board is that there were hundreds of posters over there. Without rules that place would be chaos. We are a much smaller group with far less daily drive-by traffic. While I like the daily posts and I know the crazies will find us, I think the constant enforcing of the arbitrary rules can come off as bossy and unwelcoming. Regulars should be able to post what they want. I think we will all jump of a true SS when they show up and quickly redirect her, but sometimes, while a post might be outside the "rules", it is just a little overkill with the instruction responses.
Oh man I'm guilty on this and I'll own it. I stand by my response, but I hear you. What worked really well somewhere else may not completely work here at the moment, I get it. Other than that I don't really have anything constructive to contribute to the discussion of the existential properties of the Nov 16 BMB. I'm just happy to be here. And, thoughts are exhausting.
This board confuses me...as a newby I felt not very welcome, and am afraid of posting in the wrong place at the wrong time. Threads are way to long and I don't have time to look through 80 replies in one topic to find an answer to my question. The bump app isn't as friendly to use, so to search a topic isn't as easy, I feel some of you already are close and aren't really looking for new people to join. Which sucks, coz I'm a complete newby, and have no f'ing clue about being pregnant!
@tvh1982 Welcome! Sorry you have felt unwelcome. Bump mobile is the worst! I use it to read a lot of posts and then sign on to the full site to post. A lot of us know each other from being on the TTGP board previously. I would say jump in when and where ever you feel compelled to. A great place to start is your daily ticker change day. For example on Mondays I turn over to a new week pregnant (6 weeks this coming Monday) so I participate on the Monday ticker change thread. Also participating and responding helps people remember you better. We will all get to know each other in no time.
The symptoms check in confuses me. I posted earlier in the week about my nausea but now I have killer back pain and I don't know if it's normal/too much. Do I post in the same thread again? Make a new post?
I wish there was a "nausea" post and a "back pain" post where everyone with those symptoms could weight in and either get "yup this sounds like all the rest of us and is normal" or "ooo, that's a little much, maybe call your OB".
Him:31♥Me:27
NTNP#1 since 12/14, TTC#1 since 4/15 LPD diagnosis 9/15 Femara + TI #1: 12/15 - 1/16 = BFN Femara + Ovidrel + TI #2: 1/16 - 2/16 = BFN Femara + Ovidrel + TI #3: 2/16 - 3/16 = BFP (Squish) 3/18/16, no growth/HB 4/12/16, MC on 5/3/16 Taking a break from trying to focus on graduate school!
@tvh1982I hear ya! I wasn't active on any bump boards before this one either. Jump right in! We'll all get to know each other in no time!
Also as far as having no idea about being pregnant, I can't recommend "Dr Dan's Final Word on Babies and Other Humans" highly enough. It comes on kindle and it's actually a fun read. I think I read it 2-3x through when I was pregnant with my daughter.
The symptoms check in confuses me. I posted earlier in the week about my nausea but now I have killer back pain and I don't know if it's normal/too much. Do I post in the same thread again? Make a new post?
I wish there was a "nausea" post and a "back pain" post where everyone with those symptoms could weight in and either get "yup this sounds like all the rest of us and is normal" or "ooo, that's a little much, maybe call your OB".
I continue to post in that thread. We could do your idea as well or instead. the symptoms thread is a starter so we don't get a ton of threads on the same subject. Things can always be changed. Maybe on Monday when I start a new one for the week I will change up the format and ask people what they think of doing other threads on more specific symptoms. You could always start one if you wanted.
The symptoms check in confuses me. I posted earlier in the week about my nausea but now I have killer back pain and I don't know if it's normal/too much. Do I post in the same thread again? Make a new post?
I wish there was a "nausea" post and a "back pain" post where everyone with those symptoms could weight in and either get "yup this sounds like all the rest of us and is normal" or "ooo, that's a little much, maybe call your OB".
I continue to post in that thread. We could do your idea as well or instead. the symptoms thread is a starter so we don't get a ton of threads on the same subject. Things can always be changed. Maybe on Monday when I start a new one for the week I will change up the format and ask people what they think of doing other threads on more specific symptoms. You could always start one if you wanted.
As long as I can continue to post in it then I'm cool. I would worry that a symptom specific thread would get buried then someone would get flamed for posting about that symptom again.
Him:31♥Me:27
NTNP#1 since 12/14, TTC#1 since 4/15 LPD diagnosis 9/15 Femara + TI #1: 12/15 - 1/16 = BFN Femara + Ovidrel + TI #2: 1/16 - 2/16 = BFN Femara + Ovidrel + TI #3: 2/16 - 3/16 = BFP (Squish) 3/18/16, no growth/HB 4/12/16, MC on 5/3/16 Taking a break from trying to focus on graduate school!
Ugh...maybe I'm just not understanding, even after reading the board organization post, the organization of this board. I posted multiple times a day in the threads on TTGP and didn't have the frustration I do now.
What's causing the frustration @atcwag? I don't get it. I mean, I agree, I think there are too many daily threads. Not the ticker change threads, but the extra ones; I just don't participate in the ones I don't like.
I don't know. I'm pregnant and my brain isn't working properly? Is that an acceptable answer? Hahaha, I honestly don't know. It's early. I'm hoping it will get better. Maybe I'm just missing the snark of TTGP.
I think some of us (or at least I) were on boards before all these rules came about. We had some big weekly threads (UO, FFFC, ticker change, PGaL), but otherwise we just let people post, and as we formed a group, more big threads just came up organically when people wanted them. With my last pregnancy it turned into - every board posts this same thing at the beginning, we have all these big threads because that's how the other boards do it, we tell people where to post, etc. Which I found boring, and I know others found unfriendly. But on my last board they wouldn't tolerate any discussion about it, so this board already seems more open. It has nothing to do with snark, I like snark, it just makes the whole board seemed too contrived to me to just make people post here or here or here.
This board confuses me...as a newby I felt not very welcome, and am afraid of posting in the wrong place at the wrong time. Threads are way to long and I don't have time to look through 80 replies in one topic to find an answer to my question. The bump app isn't as friendly to use, so to search a topic isn't as easy, I feel some of you already are close and aren't really looking for new people to join. Which sucks, coz I'm a complete newby, and have no f'ing clue about being pregnant!
to me this always reads like, "I don't have time to read through info people have already provided, so I'm going to treat the board like my personal Google and ask people to post the same info over and over".
Me: 30 DH: 32 ~~ TTC #1: Sep 2015 ~~ BFP: Mar 2016 ~~ Daughter: Nov 2016 TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
My UO is how crazy people get over board topics! I know people say they miss the snark and admittedly I kind of miss reading it. But I will never understand the emotional intensity that people experience here. Especially for not knowing the rules or saying something unpopular. Something shitty has happened to each and every person. That's not license to tear another member up. And tb has a very specific culture and not every new member gets it. I prefer threads that are either straight up conversation about a pregnancy topic or fun banter. That doesn't mean you're a unicorn going around saying, "good for you for everything!"
Re: UO Thursday 3-24
i didnt participate on the home birth thread, because I clearly don't agree. I don't think it's cool to walk into a room and tell everyone my negative opinion of their belief. But as you said, the UO thread would be boring without any actual unpopular opinions, so that is mine.
I have witnessed a home birth that went shockingly wrong and could have had a very tragic outcome due to an error by a midwifery student. The mother was coerced into a home birth by her MIL, a midwife. After the utter panic and the ambulance being called, there's honestly not a person on earth who could sway my opinion.
A birthing center as you have described above is not the same thing as a home birth, and is worth considering IMO. Someone's home which is down a dark country road, 20 miles from the nearest hospital, and in the dead of winter is not a good idea for a home birth to me.
(Apologies for my jumbled thoughts on the matter)
After 31 cycles, baby boy K (IUI) born 11/03/11
BFP (Femara) - 08/09/13 m/c around 6 weeks. xoxox Baby April
Rainbow baby girl E (Femara) born 11/16/16
My sister in law is a midwife who went through three years of college (beyond her first bachelor's) and two more years of training before she started practicing on her own. The variation in training that midwives have is pretty terrifying and I think there's a lot of potential for error if someone doesn't do their research on who they choose. I think there's a big difference between home birth very near a hospital with a CNM or CPM with a decade or more of experience and a college education; and a home birth with someone who did their training online with a short apprenticeship, in a house far away from civilization. It's sad (and dangerous) that it isn't more regulated.
I think that it is important for mamas deciding between home and hospital to know the risks and I don't think either way is talked about enough. It does often seem to end up being a decision based on physical comfort, which like you said, is an irresponsible reason to choose home birth.
I'm choosing a birth center because of the extra resources and because it's closer to our city's best hospital just in case, but I still feel like there are situations in which someone can make a safe, informed decision to give birth at home.
I don't think you sounded jumbled at all. I hope we can agree to disagree and still be friends (I mean eventually, it's hard to be friends with an Internet stranger right off the bat, but we hopefully have til November to get to know each other!)
Married 9/27/14
TTC #1 since 8/15/15
BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
Whellllp, just did my first kegels this pregnancy JUST NOW.
*siggy warning*
mmc . mar 2016
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
mmc x2 . sep 2018 & may 2019
RE workup, dx MTHFR mutation, ultimately unexplained . summer 2019
surprise BFP . aug 2019
DS . may 2020
dx Hashimoto's 2023
ttc #3 . feb 2023
mmc . apr 2023
mmc x3 . mar/jul/aug 2024
dx elevated nk cells
tx ovasitol, levothyroxine, baby aspirin, LP progesterone, lovenox, prednisone, femara + ti . jan 2025
BFP . mar 2025
F*ck kegels. I hate them. I think they feel weird and I just won't do them.
Eta: as PPs have mentioned: I'm against board organization!
Honestly, I prefer to be friends with people who don't blindly agree with everything I say, and I certainly don't mind a spirited debate. I'm sure we'll find time to chat between now and November.
After 31 cycles, baby boy K (IUI) born 11/03/11
BFP (Femara) - 08/09/13 m/c around 6 weeks. xoxox Baby April
Rainbow baby girl E (Femara) born 11/16/16
Gavin - 8/27/10
*TW*
Gabriel - 2nd tri loss 5/17/16 Trisomy 18 & 21
Hope - 2nd tri loss 12/7/16 complications from pneumonia
Me: 26 DH:27
Due: 11/6/2016
I read about kids in Switzerland or somewhere learning to responsibly use knives at the age of 4 and learning to build fires and things shortly after. H and I have an outdoorsy lifestyle, and that's how we want to raise our kids. A sense of independence is good for kids, even if they get hurt once in a while.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Kids are actually safer now than they ever have been, it's just that there's a perception of greater danger because of the constant overexposure to every rare thing that happens. Part of raising kids is giving them the skills to be independent but I had people in my class in their twenties who didn't even know how to do their own laundry which made me shake my head.
Son, K, 9 | Daughter, C, 5 | Daughter, M, expected November 7, 2016
Married 9/27/14
TTC #1 since 8/15/15
BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
Awesome Kid #2: Due November 2016!
Andplusalso, without board organization, legitimately good threads get pushed off the front page by stupid AW threads, and that sucks.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Edit it cause I just saw a great example "we have an intro board, it's a great place for intros" who cares. Start a new thread. She's late in the month, new and excited. Gosh darn it lets be excited for her.
I agree there are too many daily threads. I think I mentioned it when I was asking what everyone wanted. I figure lets start out with whatever people want and they can change/come and go as needed. Just because its listed on the PSA thread doesn't mean we need to do that thread.
Also there are a lot less people here than on TTGP. I am sure we will still be getting more members as they wait until later to join. It also seems like maybe our BMB could just be a little smaller than the typical BMB. This is part of the reason why people might find it boring/not enough activity, because there just are not that many of us.
Lastly the PSA thread lists the big threads and daily threads that it seems like a lot of people wanted. It just that a list to keep track of what we got going on. No where on it does it say you cannot post your own threads about whatever you want. I certainly am not going to police people here, now if others do that's their deal. I guess I just see the PSA as a quick guide not a bible.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Bitch, your kids are not allergic to any of these things, but you've already decided that you were going to be a mommy martyr.
Nov 16 BMB. I'm just happy to be here. And, thoughts are exhausting.
*siggy warning*
mmc . mar 2016
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
mmc x2 . sep 2018 & may 2019
RE workup, dx MTHFR mutation, ultimately unexplained . summer 2019
surprise BFP . aug 2019
DS . may 2020
dx Hashimoto's 2023
ttc #3 . feb 2023
mmc . apr 2023
mmc x3 . mar/jul/aug 2024
dx elevated nk cells
tx ovasitol, levothyroxine, baby aspirin, LP progesterone, lovenox, prednisone, femara + ti . jan 2025
BFP . mar 2025
Threads are way to long and I don't have time to look through 80 replies in one topic to find an answer to my question.
The bump app isn't as friendly to use, so to search a topic isn't as easy,
I feel some of you already are close and aren't really looking for new people to join. Which sucks, coz I'm a complete newby, and have no f'ing clue about being pregnant!
**********************************************************************************************************************************
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I wish there was a "nausea" post and a "back pain" post where everyone with those symptoms could weight in and either get "yup this sounds like all the rest of us and is normal" or "ooo, that's a little much, maybe call your OB".
LPD diagnosis 9/15
Femara + TI #1: 12/15 - 1/16 = BFN
Femara + Ovidrel + TI #2: 1/16 - 2/16 = BFN
Femara + Ovidrel + TI #3: 2/16 - 3/16 = BFP (Squish) 3/18/16, no growth/HB 4/12/16, MC on 5/3/16
Taking a break from trying to focus on graduate school!
Also as far as having no idea about being pregnant, I can't recommend "Dr Dan's Final Word on Babies and Other Humans" highly enough. It comes on kindle and it's actually a fun read. I think I read it 2-3x through when I was pregnant with my daughter.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019LPD diagnosis 9/15
Femara + TI #1: 12/15 - 1/16 = BFN
Femara + Ovidrel + TI #2: 1/16 - 2/16 = BFN
Femara + Ovidrel + TI #3: 2/16 - 3/16 = BFP (Squish) 3/18/16, no growth/HB 4/12/16, MC on 5/3/16
Taking a break from trying to focus on graduate school!
BFP 3.8.16 EDD 11.20.16
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019