Wow!! I thought this group was for people trying to conceive and to share and support one another. Well here I see someone that is trying to do all of the above, and is getting attacked for sharing a motivating comment?! One which I feel is quite accurate. I think a lot of relationships struggle when there is problems while trying to conceive. It would be different if they had put something rude and ignorant, then I could see people voicing their opinions and standing for what you believe. But this person is obviously trying to be positive and helpful, and unfortunately through your struggles, you have found underlying insults. I am sorry that you are having a difficult time in your journey, a lot of us are, but neither you nor I know what this person has been through in their journey and belittling them isn't the right way to go. Maybe they had been trying for years before they were blessed with children, maybe losses, maybe all other children are adopted, surrogates, or step children and they are trying for the first biological child, maybe none of this is true and they have had many easy wonderful pregnancies, that doesn't mean their story should be assumed or that they have any different right to be here and share. If you read something and you don't like it, stop reading it and move on!
You must be new here.
First bold- it IS rude and ignorant. It's possible to be so without meaning to be. It's a slap to the face for people that have been struggling to have just one, making it sound like they just aren't trying enough/not counting their blessings enough. It's exclusionary to people for whom "lovemaking" will never result in a baby. For how terrible we are for assuming that she is rubbing this in our faces, she is assuming that we all have husbands, and that's pretty shitty. I don't see any comments here that are out of line. Sometimes we all need a good flaming when we say something that IS rude and ignorant.
Second bold- I seriously doubt that, if this were the case, that they would post something like this. And hey, never struggling doesn't make someone a bad person, but being insensitive to those that have does.
Hmm going through ivf because I have a WIFE not a husband like the self riteous OP, but I'll try to remember this is a "blessing" today at my millionth vaginal ultrasound. Yayyyyy!
Hugs. OP, not everyone here has a husband. Not everyone here can have a baby simply through "lovemaking" with their partner. I have a husband but we both have IF diagnoses, so "lovemaking" won't make us a baby - science will.
Wow!! I thought this group was for people trying to conceive and to share and support one another. Well here I see someone that is trying to do all of the above, and is getting attacked for sharing a motivating comment?! One which I feel is quite accurate. I think a lot of relationships struggle when there is problems while trying to conceive. It would be different if they had put something rude and ignorant, then I could see people voicing their opinions and standing for what you believe. But this person is obviously trying to be positive and helpful, and unfortunately through your struggles, you have found underlying insults. I am sorry that you are having a difficult time in your journey, a lot of us are, but neither you nor I know what this person has been through in their journey and belittling them isn't the right way to go. Maybe they had been trying for years before they were blessed with children, maybe losses, maybe all other children are adopted, surrogates, or step children and they are trying for the first biological child, maybe none of this is true and they have had many easy wonderful pregnancies, that doesn't mean their story should be assumed or that they have any different right to be here and share. If you read something and you don't like it, stop reading it and move on!
@lilttlebean - because if OP had spent ANY time getting to know the community, she would absolutely know the struggles of others. It was freaking insensitive for her to make this post and act all nonchalant about how "thankful" we should be for the opportunity of TTC.
No one was belittling the OP. In fact, OP was belittling this community.
And to your last point: that is NOT how the internet works. You cannot dictate how others respond to your post.
In short, if you want to be a contributing, respectful member of this community, you should ALWAYS consider your audience when posting. OP made it clear that she did not. And now, so have you.
Wow!! I thought this group was for people trying to conceive and to share and support one another. Well here I see someone that is trying to do all of the above, and is getting attacked for sharing a motivating comment?! One which I feel is quite accurate. I think a lot of relationships struggle when there is problems while trying to conceive. It would be different if they had put something rude and ignorant, then I could see people voicing their opinions and standing for what you believe. But this person is obviously trying to be positive and helpful, and unfortunately through your struggles, you have found underlying insults. I am sorry that you are having a difficult time in your journey, a lot of us are, but neither you nor I know what this person has been through in their journey and belittling them isn't the right way to go. Maybe they had been trying for years before they were blessed with children, maybe losses, maybe all other children are adopted, surrogates, or step children and they are trying for the first biological child, maybe none of this is true and they have had many easy wonderful pregnancies, that doesn't mean their story should be assumed or that they have any different right to be here and share. If you read something and you don't like it, stop reading it and move on!
TTC #1 December 2014 RE appt 12/2015 CD3 labs normal | HSG 1/8/16 clear | H's SA excellent Dx: Unexplained Infertility February 2016, cycle 16 - cycle #1 with Letrozole 5mg + TI | Progesterone=20.6 BFP 2/24/16 - EDD 11/7/16 It's a girl! Isla Quinn born 10/29/16 at 38w5d via C/S -------- TFAS March 2018 RE consultation 8/2/18 Suprise! BFP 8/8/18 natural cycle | EDD 4/19/19 It's a girl! Afton Noelle born 4/10/19 at 38w5d via natural VBAC
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Re: Trying to conceive #5
ETA: Metaphorical penis is stuck in a gyro. Non-metaphorical garlic sauce is everywhere. OP, your advice is bad and you should feel bad.
You must be new here.
First bold- it IS rude and ignorant. It's possible to be so without meaning to be. It's a slap to the face for people that have been struggling to have just one, making it sound like they just aren't trying enough/not counting their blessings enough. It's exclusionary to people for whom "lovemaking" will never result in a baby. For how terrible we are for assuming that she is rubbing this in our faces, she is assuming that we all have husbands, and that's pretty shitty. I don't see any comments here that are out of line. Sometimes we all need a good flaming when we say something that IS rude and ignorant.
Second bold- I seriously doubt that, if this were the case, that they would post something like this. And hey, never struggling doesn't make someone a bad person, but being insensitive to those that have does.
OP, not everyone here has a husband. Not everyone here can have a baby simply through "lovemaking" with their partner. I have a husband but we both have IF diagnoses, so "lovemaking" won't make us a baby - science will.
No one was belittling the OP. In fact, OP was belittling this community.
And to your last point: that is NOT how the internet works. You cannot dictate how others respond to your post.
In short, if you want to be a contributing, respectful member of this community, you should ALWAYS consider your audience when posting. OP made it clear that she did not. And now, so have you.
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
RE appt 12/2015
CD3 labs normal | HSG 1/8/16 clear | H's SA excellent
Dx: Unexplained Infertility
February 2016, cycle 16 - cycle #1 with Letrozole 5mg + TI | Progesterone=20.6
BFP 2/24/16 - EDD 11/7/16
It's a girl!
Isla Quinn born 10/29/16 at 38w5d via C/S
--------
TFAS March 2018
RE consultation 8/2/18
Suprise! BFP 8/8/18 natural cycle | EDD 4/19/19
It's a girl!
Afton Noelle born 4/10/19 at 38w5d via natural VBAC
This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s shift to an unwelcoming tone. Creating threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.
Please note that we remove posts that do not follow our guidelines and will issue warnings to users who violate the Terms of Use.
To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.