Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but there is definitely a special place in hell for any of you who find it acceptable to "make fun" of any child because you don't agree with the way their parents spelled their name. I'm seriously appalled to read that a teacher is bragging that she pronounces a child's name in a way to "tease" the kid because she thinks they are "close". There is a lot of shameful behavior in this thread, and I'm surprised so many here condone it. This is my first pregnancy, and I'm sad that that this is my first exposure to "mean girl" mother syndrome.
Technically Jack was once short for Jonathon anyway... but I have seen Jaxon a TON and it drives me mental. I also know a Trycestan which they pronounce Trice-ton and to me it looks like trissa-stan.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but there is definitely a special place in hell for any of you who find it acceptable to "make fun" of any child because you don't agree with the way their parents spelled their name. I'm seriously appalled to read that a teacher is bragging that she pronounces a child's name in a way to "tease" the kid because she thinks they are "close". There is a lot of shameful behavior in this thread, and I'm surprised so many here condone it. This is my first pregnancy, and I'm sad that that this is my first exposure to "mean girl" mother syndrome.
The nature of most of the posters here is not to shame women for the names they have already chosen for their existing children, but rather to encourage them to give forthcoming progeny properly spelled, properly gendered names that are legitimate in origin and timeless in usage. There is no place in hell for that kind of guidance, nor is it indicative of 'mean girl' tendencies. Most of us would never make fun of a child with a uniquely spelled or made up name, but rather might groan internally at the ill-advised naming choices their parents made. So be careful with your generalizations, please.
I was being pretty specific, actually about what behaviors shouldn't be acceptable in this forum. I also stand by my opinion about where people should go that make fun of children to their faces. They're not stupid, and even if they act like they think it's funny doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt their feelings.
Like I said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions about names, but nobody here needs to be hurtful, rude, or mean about it.
I was being pretty specific, actually about what behaviors shouldn't be acceptable in this forum. I also stand by my opinion about where people should go that make fun of children to their faces. They're not stupid, and even if they act like they think it's funny doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt their feelings.
Like I said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions about names, but nobody here needs to be hurtful, rude, or mean about it.
Also, be careful or what???!! Lol. Really???
Wait, what? This was a surprising response to what I read to be an extremely thoughtful and respectful explanation of this entire board. How could you possibly be offended?
And the be careful, I'm pretty sure was not a threat but perhaps a suggestion to think before making accusations, as no one is making fun of children here. But hey, maybe there is a special place in hell for me too....
(This so calls for the Amy Poehler Tina Fey Golden Globes gif. I'd do it if I knew how!)
Perhaps you should actually lurk our board......or read the article because that article actually just explains everything regulars do here. I'm not sure your different take or what you are trying to prove?
Did you read my post? I didn't say anything about the opinions of the original article. I happen to AGREE with a lot of points. What I don't agree with is the mean girl attitudes and the blatant bragging about making fun of children who are unfortunate to have parents that gave them oddly spelled names. That's it!
Did you read my post? I didn't say anything about the opinions of the original article. I happen to AGREE with a lot of points. What I don't agree with is the mean girl attitudes and the blatant bragging about making fun of children who are unfortunate to have parents that gave them oddly spelled names. That's it!
Lol. I'm so done here.
Ive seen some names that just make me go ewwww. Was a counselor to a girl named KT ( pronounced katie) and met a new mom who had just named her so Tykevian (pronunciation negotiable). A gentlemen at my work place has a daughter Ariona and gets upset when people pronounce it Airy-Anna. He is always like " that O makes an O sound"
I guess my biggest thoughts on spelling and pronouncing, not like an idiot . Remember you are not naming a dog.
The beautiful thing about language is that it evolves with no governed process, as you mentioned. I'm always very amused with people trying to control the way their language evolves... its a doomed endeavor.
What do you think about the "leigh" way of spelling names? EX. Ashleigh, Bayleigh, Leigh Ann. I personally don't like it. Is there a historical meaning for that way of spelling?
I don't know why, but I always get this special, ghetto, trashy feeling when I see this spelling. I really don't know why though.
I've actually seen the spelling of Ashleigh on an older British man before. So it's not new. Didn't Leigh used to be the male version of Lee? I've seen male actors named Leigh before.
it doesn't change it for me. It is something that I don't have power over.
My middle name is Leigh...and my best friends first name is Leigh... And Mandy Moore's middle name is Leigh. It is a very real name. Haha. And I think it looks pretty added to certain names instead of the usual "ley"... But I agree that it would be tough to spell as a little kid.. Though that wouldn't stop me from choosing a name.
my cousins sons name is kale like the food but she spells it kayle and everyone in school calls him Kaylee even his teacher I remember when he started school it was awful I feel so bad for him so in some way spelling can matter..
Agreed! Made-up spellings or made-up names are terrible. Then you throw in the ones with apostrophes (aka J'Den) and hyphens (aka La-a pronounced Ladasha) and it's a nightmare!
Look, name your kid Baycee or Raystlynne if you want to. Just know that I am judging your choice. It looks like something you'd buy from the off-season sale rack at walmart. I don't get "offended at everything" either. In fact, I'd argue i get offended at a lot less than most people and am often the one doing the offending due to the unfortunate fact that I opt for honesty, despite mounting evidence that it will ruin my life (aka, I'm blunt. It's my personality). Names like Baycee don't offend me. Don't give yourself that kind of credit. I'm not shocked at the heterodoxy of a daring name choice. I'm rolling my eyes because I dislike bad taste. That's about as strong as my reaction will become. They just make me idly and calmly assume the parents grew up in a trailer park. I don't make that my problem. You want that association stuck on your kid because you really love the name? Then be brave and fierce and name her whatever you want no matter what people like me (or anybody else) have to say about it.
Saying something childish like "wow everybody who hates my misspelled stupid name must be the kind of person who gets offended about everything" is kind of ironic. Because YOU care what WE think or you wouldn't give a damn what we think to begin with.
Case in point. My daughter is being named after my great grandmother. What was her name? Olive. Yes. Olive. A woman who passed at age 96 recently was named Olive when she was born and because she was so kind and gentle to me and made every effort to show me she loved me, my daughter is now going to be named Olive too. Is Olive stupid? Yeah. Actually it is. A little bit. It's pretty but it's stupid. I have a kid named Olive to add to a cat named Turnip. What i really should be doing is opening a restaurant instead of making human beings but the point remains that this is her name and I don't really care if people don't like it. But do i know objectively that it's a bit of a flimsy and airhead name? Sure. Of course it is.
Having a handle on reality and doing what makes you happy are rarely one in the same. Being shocked and appalled that somebody would DARE side-eye what looks like total illiteracy is not having a handle on reality.
Look, name your kid Baycee or Raystlynne if you want to. Just know that I am judging your choice. It looks like something you'd buy from the off-season sale rack at walmart. I don't get "offended at everything" either. In fact, I'd argue i get offended at a lot less than most people and am often the one doing the offending due to the unfortunate fact that I opt for honesty, despite mounting evidence that it will ruin my life (aka, I'm blunt. It's my personality). Names like Baycee don't offend me. Don't give yourself that kind of credit. I'm not shocked at the heterodoxy of a daring name choice. I'm rolling my eyes because I dislike bad taste. That's about as strong as my reaction will become. They just make me idly and calmly assume the parents grew up in a trailer park. I don't make that my problem. You want that association stuck on your kid because you really love the name? Then be brave and fierce and name her whatever you want no matter what people like me (or anybody else) have to say about it.
Saying something childish like "wow everybody who hates my misspelled stupid name must be the kind of person who gets offended about everything" is kind of ironic. Because YOU care what WE think or you wouldn't give a damn what we think to begin with.
Case in point. My daughter is being named after my great grandmother. What was her name? Olive. Yes. Olive. A woman who passed at age 96 recently was named Olive when she was born and because she was so kind and gentle to me and made every effort to show me she loved me, my daughter is now going to be named Olive too. Is Olive stupid? Yeah. Actually it is. A little bit. It's pretty but it's stupid. I have a kid named Olive to add to a cat named Turnip. What i really should be doing is opening a restaurant instead of making human beings but the point remains that this is her name and I don't really care if people don't like it. But do i know objectively that it's a bit of a flimsy and airhead name? Sure. Of course it is.
Having a handle on reality and doing what makes you happy are rarely one in the same. Being shocked and appalled that somebody would DARE side-eye what looks like total illiteracy is not having a handle on reality.
Look, name your kid Baycee or Raystlynne if you want to. Just know that I am judging your choice. It looks like something you'd buy from the off-season sale rack at walmart. I don't get "offended at everything" either. In fact, I'd argue i get offended at a lot less than most people and am often the one doing the offending due to the unfortunate fact that I opt for honesty, despite mounting evidence that it will ruin my life (aka, I'm blunt. It's my personality). Names like Baycee don't offend me. Don't give yourself that kind of credit. I'm not shocked at the heterodoxy of a daring name choice. I'm rolling my eyes because I dislike bad taste. That's about as strong as my reaction will become. They just make me idly and calmly assume the parents grew up in a trailer park. I don't make that my problem. You want that association stuck on your kid because you really love the name? Then be brave and fierce and name her whatever you want no matter what people like me (or anybody else) have to say about it.
Saying something childish like "wow everybody who hates my misspelled stupid name must be the kind of person who gets offended about everything" is kind of ironic. Because YOU care what WE think or you wouldn't give a damn what we think to begin with.
Case in point. My daughter is being named after my great grandmother. What was her name? Olive. Yes. Olive. A woman who passed at age 96 recently was named Olive when she was born and because she was so kind and gentle to me and made every effort to show me she loved me, my daughter is now going to be named Olive too. Is Olive stupid? Yeah. Actually it is. A little bit. It's pretty but it's stupid. I have a kid named Olive to add to a cat named Turnip. What i really should be doing is opening a restaurant instead of making human beings but the point remains that this is her name and I don't really care if people don't like it. But do i know objectively that it's a bit of a flimsy and airhead name? Sure. Of course it is.
Having a handle on reality and doing what makes you happy are rarely one in the same. Being shocked and appalled that somebody would DARE side-eye what looks like total illiteracy is not having a handle on reality.
Good way of putting this. Name your kid whatever you want, but it doesn't change the fact that armpit names make you look like trailer trash. Your kid is the one who has to be saddled with the atrocity at least until they are old enough to change it legally. Also, changing the spelling of a legit name to make it youneek and cute is just as bad. Imagine the name in 16 and pregnant, if it sounds fitting to the title choose a different name. Looking at all the Jerney's, Khrystenn's, Taylar's, Laycee's, Arica's and Charrleigh's.
Thank you to both of you. The reception we've gotten on Olive has been 50/50. Som people really gush over it and others just kind of go "huh... okayyy... Cute..." and you know that they do NOT think it's cute, they think it's F^&#ed. And that's ok. Not everybody is going to like it.
@Cfabretti2 my best friend's name is Concetta (she's full Italian btw) and it was pronounced without the H sound, but everyone alway pronounced her name "con-chetta" anyhow. (sorry I know that was like 6 pages ago LOL)
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Trust me. As a woman named "Krystina," I can tell you that spelling does matter!
Creative spelling isn't "cute." It's annoying for the child. No one will ever get their name right, important documents will need to be corrected because of misspellings, and comments will always be made like "Well, that's special!."
Do your kid a favor and spell the name you choose correctly.
This is so important. PLEASE think of your children! I have a very basic first name and a ridiculously ethnic Dutch/Flemish last name (and I'm like 4th generation in the US, they've just stuck with it) which I have had to spell for EVERYONE since I was a child. It is frustrating and annoying, please don't do that to your child with their first name!
My parents thought "Kristal" was a fun name. They wanted to be able to use "Kris" as nn. Apparently they thought spelling would matter for that to happen. Now almost 30 years later I'm still having to correct the spelling on my name on everything, every day (or, at the very least, just ignore it). I honestly hate my name. Only a couple of my coworkers can get it right, which makes presentations or documents a nightmare.
I can't even begin to count the number of times people will say "Oh, I spelled your name wrong on <insert whatever here>" or "I've been spelling your name wrong for years!" I then assure them that they are not the first. People want a special or unique spelling/name to give to their kid, I get that. What they don't get is that it doesn't make their kid feel special or unique, it makes them annoyed. I stopped correcting people back in middle school, unless it was important. Even when I was a kid it was frustrating to deal with.
I found out a few years ago that my older brother wanted me to be named Lana and my parents thought that was a funny name. I would have preferred Lana. At least people could spell it.
ETA: btw I actually love the name (and meaning/origin of) Lana.
Darn, I was hoping this topic was going to be a discussion on the social implications of "unique names." Instead it kind of reads as a trollfest.
The opening post doesn't even accurately convey the Phonetic Alphabet. Phonemes are sounds, and the Phonetic Alphabet is a written representation of vocal sounds made across all languages. English does not even contain the entire Phonetic Alphabet. Some languages contain less, some more. Most languages share phonemes with each other. English letters and letter combinations are representative of phonemes, yes, but they are not mutually exclusive. Kathleen and Cathleen are very common English language spellings of what is phonetically, the same name. John (English), Jean (French), and Sean (Irish) are all phonetically, the same exact name. I've known American English speakers by all three of those spellings; who's more wrong or right?
I seriously question why this post, grounded in incorrect application of language theory, is pinned as a resource topic in a pregnancy and parenthood community. An incorrect topic combined with pages of anonymous trolling invents a negative connotation about the community values here.
On the topic, I think people should put thought into giving their children unique names because there can be, and often are, social implications. I knew a girl growing up who had a unique first an middle name: not unique in spelling, but unique in that she had two names traditionally given to boys (she was the youngest of all girls, I suspect it was her father's attempt at passing along his namesake as one name was her father's name). She was very self-conscious and kids made fun of her all the time for it. As her friend, I gleaned it was socially and emotionally damaging for her to have this "unique" name.
If only my name really applied to this, but there is only one spelling of Andromeda. But on that note, my name is just as weird and outlandish as any other spelling of some "normal" name, and I got by jsut fine for the last 21 years. No one ever says my name right, or spells it right, but I get loootttss of compliments. I picked a semi out there name for my son, not crazy, but not something you hear everyday and people think its neat. I personally think, if you are willing to call your child something for 50+ years, and think its neat and cool, go for it. If they don't like it when they are older, believe me they will tell you.
I personally think, if you are willing to call your child something for 50+ years, and think its neat and cool, go for it. If they don't like it when they are older, believe me they will tell you.
It might be a cultural difference, but I would never tell my parents I dislike the name they gave me. They still talk about it to this day as though it was a great decision. I know it makes them happy so I wouldn't ruin that for them.
As for the other parts (that I didn't quote), I've also gotten along "just fine" throughout life. I wouldn't consider a name some great life issue, it's more of a constant annoyance. I admit I was really angry when I wrote that post. I had been dealing with my pharmacy who couldn't find, (then) fill, or release my prescriptions because my name was spelled wrong. This is why I should never change pharmacies, they didn't have any of my info on file. The nurse at my doctor's office hadn't given my message to my doctor (I had been trying to clear this issue up for a few days at this point). I understand why I couldn't get my meds, unfortunately my heart doesn't care that my name starts with a "K" and not a "C". So my husband found me unconscious on the bathroom floor (luckily it was only a blood pressure drop and not something worse). Another expensive trip to the ER thanks to a nurse who couldn't deliver a message, the pharmacy that couldn't fill it (which I know is a legal issue), and my name which had to be spelled different.
Also, count me in the camp for never having heard the name Andromeda, it is quite beautiful (no other spellings and spell check can catch any mistakes!).
The level of judgement on this thread is astounding.
"It amazes me sometimes that even intelligent people will analyze a situation or make a judgement after only recognizing the standard or traditional structure of a piece." - David Bowie
"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Correction does much, but encouragement does more." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Those three quotes you've got there are great and they also have nothing to do with people getting the opinions they ask for. If you're asking the community at large whether the name you've chosen for your child is a good choice then YOU'VE ASKED FOR JUDGMENT that people would otherwise hold silent.
You judge too. You just don't talk about it. That's the difference. It's not the judgment that's bothering you. It's the honesty about it. A valid stance when judgment is not asked for. If somebody says "My kid's name is Roses Moon Unit" I will nod politely. If somebody however says "What do you think of the name Roses Moon Unit?" then they've specifically requested a value judgment.
So there's that.
There's also that awkward moment when you realize that post you just made is super passive-aggressive and judgey in and of itself. I mean if you weren't a judgmental person, you'd kind of look at this thread and be all "huh. Some people like to look illiterate and some people judge those who like to look illiterate. How very interesting." - and there are people out there who are like that. But the second you decide to take a side, you're joining the ranks of the judgmental. Just because you're standing against the popular vote, doesn't mean you're not making just as subjective a judgment call.
And i think furthermore, we need to stop behaving as if being judgmental is a bad thing. Being judgmental means that you make rational decisions that keep you alive. Like, you don't approach a guy in a trench coat carrying a sawn off shotgun because you've judged him to likely be a hot mess at best and a mass shooter at worst. He may not be. But you have to make a call and you're making the one that is most likely to keep you alive. This same philosophy is applied to baby names. If you name your kid Alleycenne when what you mean is Allison, you're setting her up for failure if she decides she wants to be taken at all seriously because the world is not made up of idealism. It's made up of people and situations that might suck but are what they are. And when people see a person with a name so horribly frankensteined, it's almost unbelievable, the first thing they think is "That girl's parents are flakes who either don't know how to spell or don't care." That's not a judgment on the kid exactly, but then again.. who raised her? It's not entirely fair, no. But then, it's also not entirely without merit either..
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We want to name our son Ali (as in Muhammad Ali), and I know a lot of girls named Alison that have the NN Ali (pronounced Alley) . Let's spell our NN's correctly too
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To the lady who says random people would never give her child a nickname: You are horribly mistaken. I can't tell you how many times a stranger or teacher in America decided to call me Anne, Annie or Nikki despite me telling them that my name is Annika. I even had a professor in college who decided to call me Jen because my middle name is Genevieve and she didn't like my first name. If I didn't answer, it was my problem. People decide to shorten names, especially if there's more than one Jackson in the room. My cats name is Jack and I think it's a lovely name.
I'm late to the discussion on this topic, but I have to speak up. Sorry, the cat's out of the bag. Language is dynamic and certainly not rule bound in the strict sense that you imply. Phonemes do have discrete meanings, but the combination of root words, prefixes and suffixes has evolved and taken on multiple definitions and spellings over the centuries. Hence, different languages springing from different cultures. We certainly experience this diversity in the United States. As a former teacher, I can tell you that I had no difficulty distinguishing among Mary, Mari, and Maree. In fact, the name variations made grading papers easier. Your stance is not only divisive and discriminatory, but it's just plain wrong. Do your homework and learn how to spell Eduard's name. That's your job. It's also the respectful way to treat others. I'll take it one step further. Names are one way for parents to bless their offspring with creative dash. Keep inventing parents, that's the American way.
Unfortunately, I don't know if people who consider dipping into the "XY and Z bowl" for their kids' YOO-NEEK names are going to have the patience to read that - let alone the comprehesion skills to understand what you are talking about. Here's hoping...
I don't know if I would go that far... my children are Vanderlei, Xaria and Yliana and I don't think I have strayed from convention. I simply didn't want my child to be 'Carrie R" or have to go by their first and middle name because there are 4 Carries, Olivias, or Jacobs in their class.
Name spelling matters because... When you name your daughter Islay and you want it pronounced "Eye-lee", in about 7th grade; your daughter is going to be constantly berated with "Islay is a good lay, Islay is a good lay!"
Re: ***Why name spelling matters***
Like I said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions about names, but nobody here needs to be hurtful, rude, or mean about it.
Also, be careful or what???!! Lol. Really???
And the be careful, I'm pretty sure was not a threat but perhaps a suggestion to think before making accusations, as no one is making fun of children here. But hey, maybe there is a special place in hell for me too....
(This so calls for the Amy Poehler Tina Fey Golden Globes gif. I'd do it if I knew how!)
https://qz.com/481547/how-to-name-a-baby/
Perhaps you should actually lurk our board......or read the article because that article actually just explains everything regulars do here. I'm not sure your different take or what you are trying to prove?
Lol. I'm so done here.
I guess my biggest thoughts on spelling and pronouncing, not like an idiot . Remember you are not
naming a dog.
it doesn't change it for me. It is something that I don't have power over.
My middle name is Leigh...and my best friends first name is Leigh... And Mandy Moore's middle name is Leigh. It is a very real name. Haha. And I think it looks pretty added to certain names instead of the usual "ley"... But I agree that it would be tough to spell as a little kid.. Though that wouldn't stop me from choosing a name.
Saying something childish like "wow everybody who hates my misspelled stupid name must be the kind of person who gets offended about everything" is kind of ironic. Because YOU care what WE think or you wouldn't give a damn what we think to begin with.
Case in point. My daughter is being named after my great grandmother. What was her name? Olive. Yes. Olive. A woman who passed at age 96 recently was named Olive when she was born and because she was so kind and gentle to me and made every effort to show me she loved me, my daughter is now going to be named Olive too. Is Olive stupid? Yeah. Actually it is. A little bit. It's pretty but it's stupid. I have a kid named Olive to add to a cat named Turnip. What i really should be doing is opening a restaurant instead of making human beings but the point remains that this is her name and I don't really care if people don't like it. But do i know objectively that it's a bit of a flimsy and airhead name? Sure. Of course it is.
Having a handle on reality and doing what makes you happy are rarely one in the same. Being shocked and appalled that somebody would DARE side-eye what looks like total illiteracy is not having a handle on reality.
Olive is a perfectly lovely name.
Edited because my fingers are hotdogs.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
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Creative spelling isn't "cute." It's annoying for the child. No one will ever get their name right, important documents will need to be corrected because of misspellings, and comments will always be made like "Well, that's special!."
Do your kid a favor and spell the name you choose correctly.
Darn, I was hoping this topic was going to be a discussion on the social implications of "unique names." Instead it kind of reads as a trollfest.
The opening post doesn't even accurately convey the Phonetic Alphabet. Phonemes are sounds, and the Phonetic Alphabet is a written representation of vocal sounds made across all languages. English does not even contain the entire Phonetic Alphabet. Some languages contain less, some more. Most languages share phonemes with each other. English letters and letter combinations are representative of phonemes, yes, but they are not mutually exclusive. Kathleen and Cathleen are very common English language spellings of what is phonetically, the same name. John (English), Jean (French), and Sean (Irish) are all phonetically, the same exact name. I've known American English speakers by all three of those spellings; who's more wrong or right?
I seriously question why this post, grounded in incorrect application of language theory, is pinned as a resource topic in a pregnancy and parenthood community. An incorrect topic combined with pages of anonymous trolling invents a negative connotation about the community values here.
On the topic, I think people should put thought into giving their children unique names because there can be, and often are, social implications. I knew a girl growing up who had a unique first an middle name: not unique in spelling, but unique in that she had two names traditionally given to boys (she was the youngest of all girls, I suspect it was her father's attempt at passing along his namesake as one name was her father's name). She was very self-conscious and kids made fun of her all the time for it. As her friend, I gleaned it was socially and emotionally damaging for her to have this "unique" name.
The level of judgement on this thread is astounding.
"Correction does much, but encouragement does more." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Those three quotes you've got there are great and they also have nothing to do with people getting the opinions they ask for. If you're asking the community at large whether the name you've chosen for your child is a good choice then YOU'VE ASKED FOR JUDGMENT that people would otherwise hold silent.
You judge too. You just don't talk about it. That's the difference. It's not the judgment that's bothering you. It's the honesty about it. A valid stance when judgment is not asked for. If somebody says "My kid's name is Roses Moon Unit" I will nod politely. If somebody however says "What do you think of the name Roses Moon Unit?" then they've specifically requested a value judgment.
So there's that.
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When you name your daughter Islay and you want it pronounced "Eye-lee", in about 7th grade; your daughter is going to be constantly berated with "Islay is a good lay, Islay is a good lay!"
This little gem I stumbled upon is a great example.