husband still talks about my going back to work when all the kids are in school, bc finances, and i'm here like "what can we live without? i don't want to not be there when my kids get home from school!"
I'm in the same boat. Think I'm just going to have to keep popping out babies so we don't have to worry about it. ;-)
Married 7.29.05 :: DD1 5.11.10 :: DD2 1.23.13 :: Baby Boy due 3.13.16!
Ok, I know talking about money is taboo, but seriously . . . did you see that someone in the "baby nurse" thread pays their nanny $220 a day and said paying a baby nurse that much isn't "that bad." Holy cow. I must be really poor, because that number is astonishing to me. I was a nanny for 6 years and never made anything remotely close to that a day!!
I totally agree. I was thinking I must be in below poverty level then... I have never gotten paid that much, let alone pay someone that much to work for ME...
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
@oceanchild - my husband says we're done after this one, too, but he's not willing to do anything permanent, so I'm sure I'll wear him down again in a couple years. ;-)
Married 7.29.05 :: DD1 5.11.10 :: DD2 1.23.13 :: Baby Boy due 3.13.16!
It was always my dream to be a SAHM, too. But when the time came, we didnt' make enough on just his salary to swing it. Fortunately I work for a family owned and operated company who are SUPER flexible with familys. We have so many people here who work swing shifts or work from home to be with their kids...it's a great place to be. I used to dream about baking fresh bread every morning, doing crafts with kids all day, and having a fresh dinner every night. Oh well, it's not to be. What we have going works though, so I guess we're pretty lucky.
I'm trying to get him to call Human Resources NOW- and he won't reply to me. He applied for that full time job, and the job post closed on October 2nd. Well he says they reposted the job yesterday, AFTER HE APPLIED FOR IT. I told him he can't let them look over him like that to call and find out what is going on. He has worked there 6 years and while he has never technically done copy editing as a job, when the new copy editor for the sports department came on board, they asked DH to train the new copy editor. So its not like he can't do it obviously, so why in the eff are they still trying to ignore him!? I don't get it...
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
I seriously wish I could stay at home. It's my dream. But sadly I'm the primary bread winner since I'm in the tech industry and my husband is just really now getting going with his career. He makes under half as much as me so there is no way possible for me to stay home. But we are blessed that MIL watches our kids.
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Ughhh. I Feel so so sick today. I am shaky and weak. I know it's probably the hypoglycemia, but I've already eaten! A ton! And it still hasn't let up. I am really considering asking my boss if I can leave early. She's on lunch break now so maybe she will be a little more open to the idea when she gets back.
All I know is that my big comforter and my couch sounds like heaven right now.
I've always wanted to be a SAHM! I really wish I had the ability to do so, but unfortunately we are dirt poor and I am trying to finish up my bachelors degree. *sigh* I am saving up for maternity leave though. I am hoping to take a minimum of 4 months through possibly 6 months of leave.
I swear to GOD this corporation is the most effed up operation I think I've ever seen! Said school supplies- I got them all packed up and ready to go. So about 1/2 hour ago I get a phone call from the SAME LADY AGAIN, now she wants me to hold onto them. She just got 3 more packages up there to Watertown, with my boss's name on them. So now she needs to figure out exactly what goes to whom, so I spent my entire morning taking back supplies from teachers, going through my invoice and highlighting them to make sure everything is there, repacking everything, and now I didn't need to do that. I'm telling my boss when she gets back, and I'm letting her know I am NOT touching those school supplies again until next Tuesday, when hopefully by then shit will be straightened out. I was asked to put them away/divvy them up, and I did. Then I'm asked to repack it all, and I did. Now I'm told I may not have needed to, I'm DONE.
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
If I weren't going for my accounting degree, I would be working full time. We decided that although we will have to struggle to keep afloat for the next 2 years while I keep up with school and getting ds into school (so scary, my heart about stops thinking of my baby boy going to school) and handling the twins, it will be worth it. We were both working at dead-end jobs making barely above minimum wage, once I get my degree, I will support us while dh finishes his degree. He will have to go to the school which means child care costs, which is why we decided to have me focus most on school. He is doing what he can, while working, to prepare and get ahead for school. It is hard, balancing school, kids, and finances. Knowing that I could be working full time and bringing in a little more (although half would go to child care and gas) makes it hard when I am home. But we are making it, knowing that it is bettering our future. I am determined that our kids will have more than my family did growing up. We were well below poverty level and would often rely on others. My kids will never need to go to bed hungry, or go to a neighbor's for clean water. So, for now, I love being a sahm and know that when I finish school, I will be working to provide for my family. No matter what you do, we all seem to have to give up something that we would rather keep. Wether it is time with our kids, freedom, independence, pride, or just the ability to know that you paid for the food on the table.
Sorry, just realized not everyone will understand why I posted that. I have had some family comment on that fact that we are struggling financially but I don't work. After reading people's posts about how they wish they could be a sahm but can't financially, I decided to post what it is like on the other end, needing to be a sahm but wishing to work and provide.
@red3ye, your situation sounds like it's exactly what you need for right now, with long term plans in place. Often family and friends don't really know the whole story or understand our motivations, but if there is one thing I've learned it's that kids can live on a LOT LESS than we are told we need to give them—it doesn't sound like your kids want for anything. You sound like you've got it all figured out for you guys, and that's what matters.
We're also considered low - income for our area, though not below poverty level. In order to survive in this very high COL area we live in affordable (subsidized) housing and we're on WIC. Also all of my pregnancies have been on Me di - Cal (though I only qualify while pregnant. )
I also sometimes feel guilty because I'm only making 1/3 what I was when I was waitressing. But that was a dead end job, and I promised myself I wouldn't waitress after I finished my BA. So now I'm studying for my MA and working part-time. Once I finish my Masters I'll be making more than DH and I currently gross jointly. If he kept kiss full time job we'we'd be grossing around 80k yearly, but he's going to quit and stay home with the new baby instead. He's also planning to use the time to try to figure out his career, but as a musician he may never be the main breadwinner. So, we're slowly improving our lot in life, but truth is right now we struggle.
My mil still apologizes that my Dh doesn't make more money. It drives me crazy! He was a lawyer but hated it, so he followed his dream job of being a football coach. We couldn't be happier with the decision. Between the two of us (I teach) we do ok, bills are paid, have a house,and ds doesnt want for anything. For me that is a sign of doing well (I grew up below the poverty line 1 of 7, my parents made a lot of sacrifices to give us opportunities to have better lives, but we often went without), but they always feel like we are missing out because we can't travel or buy fancy things. It is all a matter of perspective and you have to do what works for your family. Dh loves his job and we really feel blessed for what we have.
I also grew up below the poverty level as one of 8 children, and I think that has a lot to do with my guilt. I always said I would do better for my children (though my parents certainly did their best) But sometimes it feels shameful that we're not better off. But then again, we definitely made choices that work best for our family, and those choices generally value time together over money.
You know you are pregnant when... You consider it a win that you scrubbed the kitchen counters, sinks and put the dish washer on. Then proceed to reward yourself with a big bowl of chips and French onion dip lol.
Love reading your SAHM comments. I really feel right now that that's what I would like to do. It would mean serious sacrifices and changes in lifestyle for us though and I think I might find that hard. I also think I might feel the opposite next year, that I WANT to work outside the home. I don't know...but it's so interesting to me to read your stories!! In other news (sorry to be an AW) I got my sequential screening results and we have come back as low risk! I'm over the moon! Also got to hear LOs HB today and it was around 139 which was great. Finally, we have our AS next Friday and I'm so excited. AND it's a long weekend!!!
Does anyone else feel like their pregnancy is dragging? I keep seeing all these posts where people say, "OMG! I'm 17 weeks! It's going so fast!" I'm over here feeling like "Seriously? I'm only 17 weeks?" I just want to get to 20 for the a/s and 24 for viability and 37 for full term. I want this baby in my arms! Why does pregnancy have to take so long?!
Married 7.29.05 :: DD1 5.11.10 :: DD2 1.23.13 :: Baby Boy due 3.13.16!
I felt like my first pregnancy dragged, but this one is flying by. I'm also anxious to meet this new baby, but I'm also desperately hanging on to every moment of single kid motherhood that I can before the insanity starts.
Do you have kids? Enjoy this peace you have now. You have no clue what awaits you. Nothing can prepare you for it )
ETA: nm...just checked your sig. You have two kids already and you're anxious for a new one? You're definitely handling motherhood better than I am. hahaha I'm both excited for and dreading when this baby arrives.
I felt like my first pregnancy dragged, but this one is flying by. I'm also anxious to meet this new baby, but I'm also desperately hanging on to every moment of single kid motherhood that I can before the insanity starts.
Do you have kids? Enjoy this peace you have now. You have no clue what awaits you. Nothing can prepare you for it )
ETA: nm...just checked your sig. You have two kids already and you're anxious for a new one? You're definitely handling motherhood better than I am. hahaha I'm both excited for and dreading when this baby arrives.
This. I want my babies but so trying to enjoy every moment I can with just little man. Excited and dreading.
RE being a SAHM: The decision for me (us) was an easy one. I barely made over minimum wage, I was determined to BF for at least a year, and my work was 24 hr shifts. Those didn't go well with each other. Thank god DH started a new job when DD was 1 month old and the pay was good enough to keep me at home. I still work part time as a figure skating instructor but it's not for the income, it's to get me out of the house 3 times a week! I feel so lucky to be able to stay at home although it was a difficult transition at first. I absolutely loved my job and I felt like I lost part of my identity for a while. It was hard to cope that I wasn't "that person" anymore.
I will happily be staying home with LO (: we are so lucky that I get to, and we have tried and worked hard these first few months of being married to live well within our means so that when baby gets here, I can be home to take care of him/her! I also cannot wait for my doctors appointment monday!!!! Hopefully little Stormageadon cooperates!
My poor son woke up in the middle of the night with growing pains in his legs so bad that he was crying. I felt terrible for him. What do you guys do when this happens to your kids? I gave him ibuprofen because he was so frantic, but maybe I can get a heating pad for him and keep it on low? He was still complaining of pain this morning. Poor guy.
On the plus side: I work across the street from the courthouse and this morning I saw an adorable couple on their way to get married. Put a little spring in my step to see how sweet and in love they were.
Let me preface this with I am fairly liberal when it comes to smoking pot. I do not personally partake, but I think it should be legalized (and taxed). Anyway...
I live in a pretty family-friendly subdivision. Literally families both sides of me and across the street and we have a nice little elderly couple behind us. The last two nights my super nose spidey senses were going off. On Tuesday night, I was laying in bed, (probably bumping...) when I smelled that someone nearby was smoking weed. It wasn't overwhelming, but we had the windows open and there really was no doubt what it was. Last night an overwhelming skunk smell WOKE ME UP. I literally was awoken from my slumber by my nose. Then I realized it was not a skunk, but weed again.
I am nearly certain it's not the neighbor that my bedroom window faces (I mean, I guess it could be...) so where is it coming from? Why does it seem like they are doing this right outside of my window? It's really a nuisance and I am not sure what I can do to make it stop since I have no idea from where it's coming. Like I said, I don't care that you do it, but when your fumes are WAKING ME UP it is a problem.
@flowerpower5838 I also don't partake but don't care if others do but geez that would bother me too. Not real sure what you could do about it without offending your neighbors? Maybe the mom or dad of one of the families like to smoke outside after the kiddos are in bed?
I called target (they have a breast pump program) monday and they just emailed me the list of breast pumps I qualify for and I was excited there are some medela ones on the list. If you do it through them you can pick the pump up at your local target 72 hours after you order.
As for being a SAHM, I wish I could. Unfortunately I'm the breadwinner of the family and it will be that way for awhile. DH is still struggling to get full time, but works 2 part-time jobs to balance things out. I'm not even in my chosen career field, because I make more being a secretary and have amazing benefits through the state school system. My last job was in my career field (was a Master Teacher for Head Start), but I made less money, and my health insurance was HORRIBLE- to the point DH went without and we paid the fine at tax time, and DD was placed on CHP. Now I bring home less money (although I make more), but my whole family is covered under me, and they can get the health care they need.
My next issue is now I'm driving an hour round-trip to and from work. Before I lived a mile away and would walk whenever it struck my fancy (which was quite often). Now I'm burning through $30+ a week in gas. We don't qualify for crap- not wic, not foodstamps, only HEAP but that is because the guidelines are higher. We over qualify by $200 on the YEAR. Once baby is born then we will qualify for help but until then we sit here and struggle daily. It breaks my heart, but we survive.
What is pathetic about our situation is I have a Bachelor's degree, and while DH doesn't (he ran out of money and had to drop out before he could finish- before we got together), he is in his career field.
He is only part time, but he did manage to speak to HR and they are impressed with how quickly he has picked up their new OS program, and they know he has been working hard and looking for full time work, so they are considering him for the position he applied for. I really hope he gets it. It would be a BIG relief for us. Last night he complained he feels like he is going to be the Mr. Mom, and he has every right to feel that way- but until he tries to land a job that makes enough so I can stay home, then this is what we have to do to live. It is horrible living deciding on what bills get paid and what doesn't, so we have enough money for food, or gas for me to get to work, so I can make the money.
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
I would love to be a SAHM eventually. I just have a REALLY hard time with the whole cutting back thing and DH doesn't make quite enough to support the standard of living I like. We pay attention to price tags and can't just go buy a car with cash or anything, but usually (DH recently was laid off so not currently) we don't worry about going out to eat, splurging on an Amazon deal of the day, going on random weekend trips, etc. Having to cut back so we don't have to use any savings right now is really impeding the way I usually go about my life and I am not a fan.
Hoping to work something out with my current employer that will allow me to work from home at least a couple of days a week. We shall see...
ETA: I also work for a certified WBE and I have no idea what our maternity policy is. I have a feeling it's non-existant and I find that a little hypocritical. I guess I'll find out when I finally tell them I am expecting...
VENT: Also because I have the time, I am going to make a note of people that come by and say how rude we are and that they are going elsewhere (and those that like those comments) to be sure that they are not offered any kind of advice or reassurance in the future here. Childish and vindictive? You bet. Pardon me, but it you think we are such b*tches then why the hell do you keep coming back?
As far as the weed goes, being from Colorado I "have" to be ok with it. My bil sells it at a dispensery. I cannot stand it though. It's so gross. And with it actually NOT being safe like they originally told us - THC is much higher than your mom's garden variety from the 70s, the edibles and kids, etc., our crime rates have actually increased along with pot-related injuries, not to mention the money issues involved.
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
As far as the weed goes, being from Colorado I "have" to be ok with it. My bil sells it at a dispensery. I cannot stand it though. It's so gross. And with it actually NOT being safe like they originally told us - THC is much higher than your mom's garden variety from the 70s, the edibles and kids, etc., our crime rates have actually increased along with pot-related injuries, not to mention the money issues involved.
I did read recently that the potency of pot sold in dispensaries is quite higher than what your average smoker is used to. Kind of scary when you think of the "tourist" smokers not used to it at all. And I totally agree with the edible thing - how on earth can you be sure that if you bought that your kids wouldn't find it? I was the sneakiest and nosiest kid over. Guarantee I would have found my parents' stash had they had one.
So..... I have no desire to be a SAHM and have been ridiculed for my decision. Dh makes enough that i could do so, but i LOVE my job most days, i make pretty great money, but most of all its a small company that is family focused and allows for any time off at a moments notice with no complaints. I have had both men and women give me repulsed looks when i say i will be going back to work happily. (yes i will miss them) Comments have been said that "i should want to be home with them and care for them or we shouldn't of had children" Some people and there views on life blow my mind. With all this said to each there own.
I would like to be a SAHM for the first year but after that I would have to go back to my job. I love nursing and even now that I am on vacation I miss my work girls and taking care of my patients. Don't get me wrong that shit is stressful as heck and most people are just rude or non appreciative but there are a few who really do appreciate it and it makes it all worth it. I would however not even be able to take a year off b/c while my husband makes good money I make more than him and we would be really broke without my income. I get to stay out paid until baby is about 4 months and can take another 6 weeks unpaid. Not sure if we can swing 6 weeks unpaid but I am looking into it. Then I will go back when he is about 5 1/2 months and that's way better then most and usually after the colic stage. I would hate for my sweet babe not to have momma while he is having pains.
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Re: *** The Official Random Thread of All Random Threads for March 2016 ***
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
Ugh my man is such a baby! Lol
I'm trying to get him to call Human Resources NOW- and he won't reply to me. He applied for that full time job, and the job post closed on October 2nd. Well he says they reposted the job yesterday, AFTER HE APPLIED FOR IT. I told him he can't let them look over him like that to call and find out what is going on. He has worked there 6 years and while he has never technically done copy editing as a job, when the new copy editor for the sports department came on board, they asked DH to train the new copy editor. So its not like he can't do it obviously, so why in the eff are they still trying to ignore him!? I don't get it...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Ughhh. I Feel so so sick today. I am shaky and weak. I know it's probably the hypoglycemia, but I've already eaten! A ton! And it still hasn't let up. I am really considering asking my boss if I can leave early. She's on lunch break now so maybe she will be a little more open to the idea when she gets back.
All I know is that my big comforter and my couch sounds like heaven right now.
I am determined that our kids will have more than my family did growing up. We were well below poverty level and would often rely on others. My kids will never need to go to bed hungry, or go to a neighbor's for clean water. So, for now, I love being a sahm and know that when I finish school, I will be working to provide for my family. No matter what you do, we all seem to have to give up something that we would rather keep. Wether it is time with our kids, freedom, independence, pride, or just the ability to know that you paid for the food on the table.
Sorry, just realized not everyone will understand why I posted that. I have had some family comment on that fact that we are struggling financially but I don't work. After reading people's posts about how they wish they could be a sahm but can't financially, I decided to post what it is like on the other end, needing to be a sahm but wishing to work and provide.
I also sometimes feel guilty because I'm only making 1/3 what I was when I was waitressing. But that was a dead end job, and I promised myself I wouldn't waitress after I finished my BA. So now I'm studying for my MA and working part-time. Once I finish my Masters I'll be making more than DH and I currently gross jointly. If he kept kiss full time job we'we'd be grossing around 80k yearly, but he's going to quit and stay home with the new baby instead. He's also planning to use the time to try to figure out his career, but as a musician he may never be the main breadwinner. So, we're slowly improving our lot in life, but truth is right now we struggle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
In other news (sorry to be an AW) I got my sequential screening results and we have come back as low risk! I'm over the moon! Also got to hear LOs HB today and it was around 139 which was great. Finally, we have our AS next Friday and I'm so excited. AND it's a long weekend!!!
You guys are keeping it alive.
No mass exodus to FB?
Do you have kids? Enjoy this peace you have now. You have no clue what awaits you. Nothing can prepare you for it
I'm both excited for and dreading when this baby arrives.
Let me preface this with I am fairly liberal when it comes to smoking pot. I do not personally partake, but I think it should be legalized (and taxed). Anyway...
I live in a pretty family-friendly subdivision. Literally families both sides of me and across the street and we have a nice little elderly couple behind us. The last two nights my super nose spidey senses were going off. On Tuesday night, I was laying in bed, (probably bumping...) when I smelled that someone nearby was smoking weed. It wasn't overwhelming, but we had the windows open and there really was no doubt what it was. Last night an overwhelming skunk smell WOKE ME UP. I literally was awoken from my slumber by my nose. Then I realized it was not a skunk, but weed again.
I am nearly certain it's not the neighbor that my bedroom window faces (I mean, I guess it could be...) so where is it coming from? Why does it seem like they are doing this right outside of my window? It's really a nuisance and I am not sure what I can do to make it stop since I have no idea from where it's coming. Like I said, I don't care that you do it, but when your fumes are WAKING ME UP it is a problem.
Sincerely,
The Party Pooper
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
As for being a SAHM, I wish I could. Unfortunately I'm the breadwinner of the family and it will be that way for awhile. DH is still struggling to get full time, but works 2 part-time jobs to balance things out. I'm not even in my chosen career field, because I make more being a secretary and have amazing benefits through the state school system. My last job was in my career field (was a Master Teacher for Head Start), but I made less money, and my health insurance was HORRIBLE- to the point DH went without and we paid the fine at tax time, and DD was placed on CHP. Now I bring home less money (although I make more), but my whole family is covered under me, and they can get the health care they need.
My next issue is now I'm driving an hour round-trip to and from work. Before I lived a mile away and would walk whenever it struck my fancy (which was quite often). Now I'm burning through $30+ a week in gas. We don't qualify for crap- not wic, not foodstamps, only HEAP but that is because the guidelines are higher. We over qualify by $200 on the YEAR. Once baby is born then we will qualify for help but until then we sit here and struggle daily. It breaks my heart, but we survive.
What is pathetic about our situation is I have a Bachelor's degree, and while DH doesn't (he ran out of money and had to drop out before he could finish- before we got together), he is in his career field.
He is only part time, but he did manage to speak to HR and they are impressed with how quickly he has picked up their new OS program, and they know he has been working hard and looking for full time work, so they are considering him for the position he applied for. I really hope he gets it. It would be a BIG relief for us. Last night he complained he feels like he is going to be the Mr. Mom, and he has every right to feel that way- but until he tries to land a job that makes enough so I can stay home, then this is what we have to do to live. It is horrible living deciding on what bills get paid and what doesn't, so we have enough money for food, or gas for me to get to work, so I can make the money.
I would love to be a SAHM eventually. I just have a REALLY hard time with the whole cutting back thing and DH doesn't make quite enough to support the standard of living I like. We pay attention to price tags and can't just go buy a car with cash or anything, but usually (DH recently was laid off so not currently) we don't worry about going out to eat, splurging on an Amazon deal of the day, going on random weekend trips, etc. Having to cut back so we don't have to use any savings right now is really impeding the way I usually go about my life and I am not a fan.
Hoping to work something out with my current employer that will allow me to work from home at least a couple of days a week. We shall see...
ETA: I also work for a certified WBE and I have no idea what our maternity policy is. I have a feeling it's non-existant and I find that a little hypocritical. I guess I'll find out when I finally tell them I am expecting...
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016