@virginiaunicorn11 lol...my MIL saved DH and BIL's baby clothes too...awfully stained and very dated - really nothing special. I felt so awkward going through them with her and kept a few to appease her, but those funky 80's styled outfits will never again see the light of day. If they were sentimental or well kept I would consider it...but it was just random run of the mill white onesies and threadbare terries etc. And you KNOW that they saved those clothes for the day that their grandkids would wear them...begging the question - why did they keep the stained and worn out ones?
Hubby FINALLY put his mom in her place last night and I could not be happier! I'm currently 6 days past due and the weight of my belly is getting to be just too much. All day yesterday I was crampy and achey so I drew a bubble bath to end the day with. When MIL called for the 15th time that day and DH mentioned it, she flipped out: "She can't take baths! Doesn't she know she can't take baths??" Good Lord woman nobody said I got into an effing hot tub. I'm not a moron; I'm a well-read woman who knows how to properly care for her unborn child. Anyways, my husband finally had enough and said "Mom! This is getting out of hand. Everything is not 'bad.' Molly can do whatever she wants to do." He said she immediately backed off. I'm so glad he's actually seeing my side of things and it gives me hope that his reaction will scare her off of being *as* intrusive once our LO is here. \:D/
@messymolly08 that sounds annoying! Love your recent contributions - just want to make sure you know you are in the June board - you are due in August I presume? Feel free to stick around with us cool ladies!
I've got a FIL one - he finally sold DH's old Jeep, which FIL had bought for DH, but DH was always the one driving it and paying for repairs, etc., so FIL generously decided to give us the money from selling it. It wasn't much, only around $800 because that thing was on its last leg. But then, when FIL contacted DH about giving us the money, he dictated that it can only be used to send LO to Catholic school when she's old enough, which is SO not his place to decide! DH decided to just go ahead and take it, because as of right now we are planning on sending her to the school at the church that we go to, only because we love how small it is and love the community of families that go there - but if we move, Catholic school is probably not going to be a top priority for us, especially if we move to a good school district. Then, FIL texted me (not sure why he texted me instead of DH) and wanted our bank account and routing number so he could deposit the money. Obviously, this is not something DH and I really want to give to, well, anyone (especially not his dad, who actually stole DH's savings bonds when DH was a teenager) so I asked if he could just send a check instead... and he got super pissy about it.
I appreciate that he's giving us the money, but, personally, I'm not 100% sure that it's worth it. I'm deferring to DH's judgment on this one, though, and he says it's ours. The strings attached irk me, though.
If it makes you feel better.. Giving routing number and account number there is no way of him taking any money, only depositing
I've got a FIL one - he finally sold DH's old Jeep, which FIL had bought for DH, but DH was always the one driving it and paying for repairs, etc., so FIL generously decided to give us the money from selling it. It wasn't much, only around $800 because that thing was on its last leg. But then, when FIL contacted DH about giving us the money, he dictated that it can only be used to send LO to Catholic school when she's old enough, which is SO not his place to decide! DH decided to just go ahead and take it, because as of right now we are planning on sending her to the school at the church that we go to, only because we love how small it is and love the community of families that go there - but if we move, Catholic school is probably not going to be a top priority for us, especially if we move to a good school district. Then, FIL texted me (not sure why he texted me instead of DH) and wanted our bank account and routing number so he could deposit the money. Obviously, this is not something DH and I really want to give to, well, anyone (especially not his dad, who actually stole DH's savings bonds when DH was a teenager) so I asked if he could just send a check instead... and he got super pissy about it.
I appreciate that he's giving us the money, but, personally, I'm not 100% sure that it's worth it. I'm deferring to DH's judgment on this one, though, and he says it's ours. The strings attached irk me, though.
If it makes you feel better.. Giving routing number and account number there is no way of him taking any money, only depositing
Yeah, if it's a checking account, that info is on your checks.
Ladies I am struggling with seeing the mil so frequently. We moved to my DH's hometown a couple years ago to get into the settling down phase of life but when we did that my mil lived in Florida. However during the course of my pregnancy she and her *ah hem* fourth husband divorced and she decided to move back here. I always told my DH I didn't think I could live in the same town as her and that is quickly becoming true. I try and see her at least once during the week but then she just keeps making plans for us. My DH is only home a couple days a week and we have things to do! She seems to think that every day he is off that means she can plan on seeing us. But we also just need time as a family and that means me, DH and LO. NO MIL! Also our apartment does not have a W/D which is a little annoying but I have a portable washer and spin dryer and they work just fine for us. I do just go to the laundromat sometimes just to get everything done at once. But every time it comes up she keeps saying to just drop off my laundry and she will do it. I know it's a nice offer, but I am not complaining about my laundry situation. If it really bothered me I would not have stayed at this place for two years and worked around it. But when she calls to see if she can come over and I am at the laundromat she just gets all huffy and is like you should just come here and do it. I don't mind. Her washer takes 1 hour and 10 minutes for one load of laundry and at least an hour to dry. I keep telling her it's a time thing. I can go to the laundromat and do one mega load (3-4 loads) and be done in about an hour with washing and drying. So if I have to go somewhere I want to just get it done. But she seems so hurt by it. This is why I don't want to live close to her. Ps I'm tired of seeing her write "Grammy loves you!" on every single FB post and picture both my DH and I write! Sorry to vent so much!
@kes166 I am not sure why ils are insistence on schools. My mil wants me to send dd to Catholic school, first off I am not Catholic, 2nd I bought a house in a decent school district while i was pregnant, 3rd I am pretty sure they won't have the best resources to meet our child's iep. My dh went to private school and I feel like in some ways it hindered him, they weren't keen on teaching him life skills such as home ec or anything about economics. I know this may not be the case In all schools and he went to an all boy school so they may have felt more of that was to be taught to women.
@messymolly08 that sounds annoying! Love your recent contributions - just want to make sure you know you are in the June board - you are due in August I presume? Feel free to stick around with us cool ladies!
Lol yes I'm a dirty lurker. Our board has been a little slow recently with everyone having their babies so I've been looking around at other boards to get by. Plus, who can pass up a good MIL thread?? :>
@messymolly08 that sounds annoying! Love your recent contributions - just want to make sure you know you are in the June board - you are due in August I presume? Feel free to stick around with us cool ladies!
Lol yes I'm a dirty lurker. Our board has been a little slow recently with everyone having their babies so I've been looking around at other boards to get by. Plus, who can pass up a good MIL thread?? :>
Grrrrrr...FIL and MIL take hundreds of pics of LO - fine...snap away. But then FIL keeps making comments about how I have a lot of pics on my phone that they do not have (sometimes I will show something cute from during the day) they have hundreds, so does it really matter? But anyway, he keeps pushing and pushing for these pictures to be put on his computer so that he can save them to his external hard drive to back them up. That is his honest to goodness reason for wanting them, so finally I gave in and put them on to stop the harassment. Well, now MIL is posting all my private moments on FB when I specifically said that I don't want everything on FB and I will be the dictator of baby share...I should have seen it coming. She is claiming my pics as her own in the pissing contest of "who loves baby the most" she even has one of our hospital photo shoot pics as her "cover banner thing" I don't want to be upset about this, but she is so willy nilly about privacy settings that I would rather she not post my personal pictures on a public site
Sorry to complain again, but I posted a pic of LO in noise canceling headphones on FB. We bought them bc we are taking him to a Led Zeppelin cover band at a park next week. MIL has to comment "OMG. Led Zeppelin? He needs his grandma!" Hey lady, the reason I bought the headphones is to protect his ears. Please stop with all of your insinuations that I am a bad parent!
To continue explaining the craziness that is my SIL... In addition to taking up several issues with my pregnancy, she also had complaints about our engagement announcement, Wedding Shower and Thank You cards (yes, you read right...thank you cards). DH and I have been married for 3 years now and our engagement was about 8 months long. DH decided to tell his nephew (SILs son) over the phone (they live out of state) about our engagement so he could then spread the news (figured it was a cute way to make him feel special). SIL complained about that. For the Wedding Shower, bridesmaids, MIL and SIL hosted, and I asked if it was OK to have it co-ed (I don't have any female family members anymore and my brothers are basically the main part of my family now and are very important to me). I find out several months later that SIL was saying I only wanted it co-ed to avoid her family (what the what now???). She also complained about how I thanked her for her Wedding Shower gift. Here's how I thanked her...at the end of the Wedding Shower I thanked the bridesmaids, MIL and SIL for hosting, on Facebook later that same day I thanked them all again, and for the Thank You card, DH and I wrote the body of the card for our own family/friends, then we signed our own names. SIL apparently took up issue with that...seriously, who complains about a Thank You card (one that we very promptly wrote and sent). She has a serious issue with grudges because she brought up the Thank You card complaint again just recently (even though I explained to her years ago how/why we do our thank you cards).
The worst though...SIL has used her son as leverage several times early on in our engagement and marriage against DH. Threatening that he won't be able to see his nephew again (for no reason besides that SIL was upset). What self-respecting parent dangles their own child like a carrot as a way to make people bend to their will??? She even recently made that same threat to her own parents! And as of this past week, she's decided to cut DH and me from her life. I had found out she was complaining to her parents and DH about my pregnancy/delivery so I sent her a polite/genuine email offering for her to talk to me anytime she's upset about something involving me, and I added that when I see her I always think we have a good time, but later find out differently...she then replies by lashing out very rudely about various issues that should have died years ago that were only issues because she made them issues and began personally bashing me...I had never said a bad word to her before. In our email string I tried confirming how she wants (or doesn't want) to be involved in our LOs life if she's cutting us out and she said she'd keep in tough through mail. She also had the nerve to then obnoxiously say in her family it's auntie, not aunt (using ALL CAPS). We haven't even talked about titles yet and she's now barking orders of what she's to be called (and if you're deciding you're not going to be an actual part in LOs life, how do you think you get to control what you're called...she won't even know you).
Edit...forgot to add this...She also scoffed behind our backs that we went on a babymoon. Just shows how petty she is.
@enigmaticjj Your SIL sounds like she might have some emotional or mental issues. For real. If she has decided not to be a part of your child's life, it may be for the best.
DH's younger brother is also deciding not to be a part of our child's life. They had a falling out back in March (he's 22, lives with their parents but doesn't help them at all and is extremely disrespectful to them). My husband tried to talking to him about his behavior and it just ended in a mess.
Since then, my husband reached out to him to apologize for his part in the argument and to invite him to the baby shower saying that he wants our daughter to know both of her uncles. My BIL never responded and did not show up to the shower. We are being induced tonight, it's all my in laws talk about, and we still have no word from BIL. Honestly, I told my husband that he's at a point in his life where he's just not somebody I want in our child's life anyway. He's selfish, mean-spirited, etc. Sometimes you have to just accept that there is such a thing as a "chosen" family.
@Sammy K and @messymolly08, thank you! SIL definitely does have issues that need to be worked out with a professional (resentment from childhood and a couple major things she's been through as an adult). I feel bad for DH because of the stress this has caused. I also used to feel bad (don't anymore) because her craziness towards DH got a lot worse right when we got engaged (she clearly has weird jealousy issues toward me, and even my family since she now has to share with in-laws). I don't feel bad anymore because both DH and MIL have assured me that she's the one with the issues.
@messymolly08, your BIL sounds like he has some serious growing up to do and agree that it sounds like its best to keep distance from him (at least for now). I know relationships with siblings can be troublesome, but I'm just baffled by how some people so quickly turn their backs on each other, especially when at least one party is trying to extend a truce or apology. I can understand cutting someone out of your life if they're behavior puts you, LO, etc is hurtful, but not just because there's a disagreement. But at least in our cases, even though the other person is doing the cutting, sounds like it ends up being the best thing for us in the end.
@kes166 I am not sure why ils are insistence on schools. My mil wants me to send dd to Catholic school, first off I am not Catholic, 2nd I bought a house in a decent school district while i was pregnant, 3rd I am pretty sure they won't have the best resources to meet our child's iep. My dh went to private school and I feel like in some ways it hindered him, they weren't keen on teaching him life skills such as home ec or anything about economics. I know this may not be the case In all schools and he went to an all boy school so they may have felt more of that was to be taught to women.
Exactly! We are planning to send LO to Catholic school, but ONLY if we stay in this area because we've fallen in love with the circumstances of this specific school. If we move (and we plan to, eventually), all bets are off.
I've got a FIL one - he finally sold DH's old Jeep, which FIL had bought for DH, but DH was always the one driving it and paying for repairs, etc., so FIL generously decided to give us the money from selling it. It wasn't much, only around $800 because that thing was on its last leg. But then, when FIL contacted DH about giving us the money, he dictated that it can only be used to send LO to Catholic school when she's old enough, which is SO not his place to decide! DH decided to just go ahead and take it, because as of right now we are planning on sending her to the school at the church that we go to, only because we love how small it is and love the community of families that go there - but if we move, Catholic school is probably not going to be a top priority for us, especially if we move to a good school district. Then, FIL texted me (not sure why he texted me instead of DH) and wanted our bank account and routing number so he could deposit the money. Obviously, this is not something DH and I really want to give to, well, anyone (especially not his dad, who actually stole DH's savings bonds when DH was a teenager) so I asked if he could just send a check instead... and he got super pissy about it.
I appreciate that he's giving us the money, but, personally, I'm not 100% sure that it's worth it. I'm deferring to DH's judgment on this one, though, and he says it's ours. The strings attached irk me, though.
If it makes you feel better.. Giving routing number and account number there is no way of him taking any money, only depositing
Yeah, DH is concerned about him somehow being able to access our money anyway or using our account to pay his bills. FIL is shady like that and actually has stolen savings bonds from DH in the past so we don't trust him very much.
im about to delete my MIL off facebook, she feels the need to comment on everything that involves LO. yesterday LO turned 1 month old. and facebook showed me an old post from that day. i made it extra cute and she just ruined it. she does this with everything about LO.
I did delete my mil from my Facebook because of this. Plus, she is an evil woman who tried to cause unnecessary drama by posting stuff on my page. My dh deleted her at the same time too! We were still friends with my bil. Then he started telling his mom everything we were posting, acting as a spy for her. So now we both deleted him too.
One of my pet peeves is when people (mom, mil) are holding LO and its coming up to feeding time. And he starts rooting and looking for food. They never want to give him up even after hints of me saying " he has been eating every 2 hrs and its almost been 3" But onces he's rooting around all people ever say is " ooh I don't have anything for you" or "wrong person you have to go see your mom for that". Until its too late and hes bawling.
But mil took it one step further, on three occasions now she has said this... "Not that I'm going to do it, but did you know its a proven fact that if I was to start nursing him I would start producing milk again. As long as you've nursed once in you life you could start producing milk"
I really didn't need to picture that... :-|
Visiting her last night she started again, "I wonder how long I would have to nurse for, for me to start producing milk again" ... Awkward silence... "Because it's a proven fact. I was just wondering how long it would take to start again."
Me " umm yeah I don't know."
I know she loves LO, and keeps insisting that I'll have to pump some milk so she can babysit one day. But in the back of my mind I keep thinking she will try and nurse him if she's babysitting.
Ps. Been lurking for a while. Most of my questions have usually been asked and answered so I've never really needed to post. But I definitely needed to vent this time.
@Meg141 your response should be "that's interesting. Did you know that they can tell their mother's milk from someone else's based on smell alone? They know the difference and often times will reject the other milk."
That first sentence is a "proven fact" and the second one is embellishment, but it should stop her from even suggesting that she's going to try to nurse your kid. :-)
@Meg141 your response should be "that's interesting. Did you know that they can tell their mother's milk from someone else's based on smell alone? They know the difference and often times will reject the other milk."
That first sentence is a "proven fact" and the second one is embellishment, but it should stop her from even suggesting that she's going to try to nurse your kid. :-)
Thank you, if it's brought up again I will definitely be using that. I have read that a few times before. I just didn't know how to reply at all in the moment.
Re: mil problems...post them here
Also our apartment does not have a W/D which is a little annoying but I have a portable washer and spin dryer and they work just fine for us. I do just go to the laundromat sometimes just to get everything done at once. But every time it comes up she keeps saying to just drop off my laundry and she will do it. I know it's a nice offer, but I am not complaining about my laundry situation. If it really bothered me I would not have stayed at this place for two years and worked around it. But when she calls to see if she can come over and I am at the laundromat she just gets all huffy and is like you should just come here and do it. I don't mind. Her washer takes 1 hour and 10 minutes for one load of laundry and at least an hour to dry. I keep telling her it's a time thing. I can go to the laundromat and do one mega load (3-4 loads) and be done in about an hour with washing and drying. So if I have to go somewhere I want to just get it done. But she seems so hurt by it. This is why I don't want to live close to her.
Ps I'm tired of seeing her write "Grammy loves you!" on every single FB post and picture both my DH and I write!
Sorry to vent so much!
My dh went to private school and I feel like in some ways it hindered him, they weren't keen on teaching him life skills such as home ec or anything about economics. I know this may not be the case In all schools and he went to an all boy school so they may have felt more of that was to be taught to women.
But onces he's rooting around all people ever say is " ooh I don't have anything for you" or "wrong person you have to go see your mom for that". Until its too late and hes bawling.
But mil took it one step further, on three occasions now she has said this... "Not that I'm going to do it, but did you know its a proven fact that if I was to start nursing him I would start producing milk again. As long as you've nursed once in you life you could start producing milk"
I really didn't need to picture that... :-|
Visiting her last night she started again, "I wonder how long I would have to nurse for, for me to start producing milk again" ... Awkward silence... "Because it's a proven fact. I was just wondering how long it would take to start again."
Me " umm yeah I don't know."
I know she loves LO, and keeps insisting that I'll have to pump some milk so she can babysit one day. But in the back of my mind I keep thinking she will try and nurse him if she's babysitting.
Ps. Been lurking for a while. Most of my questions have usually been asked and answered so I've never really needed to post. But I definitely needed to vent this time.
She said when she had DH nursing is when she felt she was finally bonding with him.
But seriously you'll have to find a new way to bond with your grandson.
That first sentence is a "proven fact" and the second one is embellishment, but it should stop her from even suggesting that she's going to try to nurse your kid. :-)