mil problems...post them here

rsalata2015

Here's a thread specifically for us to vent our buttholey mil issues. Here's mine. She's effing rude as crap to me. She stays all day hogging up my son. Talks to me like I'm the biggest piece of shit she's ever seen. I suck it up and take it most of the time but today she just had gone too far. I screamed at her for it and I'm terribly sorry. She just deserved it for the way she's been treating me. She's been joking telling my son she's going to take him far away from his crazy mommy. That really pisses me off cause I lost my son three years ago and she knows that. I'm so stressed and depressed.

KonaCoffeeBean

@rsalata2015 what an f-ing bitch. She deserved to get screamed at.

MrsCaliRN

Ugh, what a mess. I'm not sure what's worse: having a rude MIL who says hurtful things like OP or my MIL whi is extremely passive-aggressive. She basically ruined my LO'S bday by coming into my delivery room post-delivery looking like an upset/frightened child because she had missed the actual birth. From then on, she's been telling everyone she is having a "flare up" of her depressiom, so all of the attention has shifted to her and away from LO. To make matters worse, DH seems to think we should make an effort to have LO around her more to "cheer her up." Um, no, that is not my son's job.

lwyz

@rsalata2015 omg. Definitely deserved the screaming.

rsalata2015

Thanks ladies I was the bigger person so I apologized to her. Well technically she's the bigger person, 300+ lol good luck to everyone going through tough times. Pray for all the little ones.

ElRuby

Mine is coming later.... I am sure I will be able to contribute on here right after.... She is so obnoxious and always saying how LO loves sitting with her because of her "big boobs"... totay freaks me out ... I plan to say something if she says anything like that today.

I also hate that she comes in the afternoon and just expects to stay for dinner... I am barely cooking meals for my little family .. Why can't she just offer to bring something for dinner since ya know I just had a baby or maybe not stay for HOURS!?

npaille12

Long time lurker but, I had my LO 6 days ago and my MIL has yet to say congratulations to me, she has only said it to my husband and to my through a post of a picture on Facebook, definitely glad she likes in LA while I'm in CT. But to OP that is awful! Good for you for sticking to your guns. I just don't even bother with her not saying anything because he has so much love from my family that if my MIL doesn't want to show me or him any that's fine by me.

rsalata2015

I forgot to add she stays here for hours!!!!! 12/14 of them and how tthe hell am I supposed to bond with him when she hogs him all that time.

MJMum524

Ugh! MIL's suck sometimes. We were skyping with my husbands family the other day. I had just fed LO and just finished burping her and bam we were skyping. LO had a bit of spit up in her mouth apparently. My MIL said "oh yuck she's got a bit of sick in her mouth, better wipe it". Ugh so DH said she's fine and wiped it away. I think you had to be there but the way she said it was very offensive. I'm thinking ahead to the time she will spend with us and how it's going to be like pulling teeth to get her to change a dirty diaper if she calls spit up 'sick'. Is it just me or is that offensive?

MJMum524

@rsalata2015 please tell your MIL to leave your house. If she doesn't listen, retreat to your room with LO and lock the door! Family is so hard sometimes, sorry you are going through that.
ETA: can't spell.

DolphinLover2002

I could write a book about my mil! We got along great until my DH proposed. Then she turned into the devil. The one and only thing she said to me our whole wedding day is this: "when you have a daughter that gets married, you gain a son in law. When you have a son that gets married, you lose your son". She said I wasn't welcomed into the family. She has tried to come between dh and I a million times. When ds was born, she called and said she was coming to see him. We said he had to nurse, so we'd call her when she could come in. She burst right into our room and grabbed him and wouldn't let me feed him. He was screaming his head off and all she cared about was getting her stupid pictures. Fast forward to now. We haven't spoken to her since Easter. We told her unless she could grow up and treat me with respect, she wasn't going to have anything to do with our family. She chose to not speak to us anymore. When the twins were born, we didn't even call to tell her. She lives 90 minutes away. At 2 days old, she just showed up and walked into our room without any notice at all, and she didn't even knock. We were changing the girls, and then I was going to bf them. My mil took one of the girls right out of my husband's arms and told her husband (DH'S step dad) to get pictures. Once again the girls were screaming because they were hungry. I walked right up to her and took my baby right out of her arms. I told them they needed to leave. They refused. We had to have a nurse come in and escort them out. She told my DH I was a bitch and I had no right to take my screaming hungry baby out of her arms. She treats me like I'm the scum of the earth. She told dh that he's a horrible son and she's writing him out of her will. We said good riddens. We haven't heard from her since! I hope it stays that way. Our ds is almost 3. She's maybe seen him 10 times his whole life. She comes to town every other weekend, but will only go see DH'S single brother. She won't even come see her grandson. She asked ds if he knew who she was. He said no and hid behind dh. She asked for a hug and he said no. I hope that woman stays away for good and let's us live in peace.

rsalata2015

We're still in the hospital. It's day
five. It's so frustrating dealing with her she's the kind of person who always thinks she's right and knows everything. Pp that lady sounds evil! Good thing she stays away. Im snuggling baby Cameron on my chest. She has a doctors appointment so she had to leave yay alone time. I'm enjoying just me and baby time.

Sammy K

Oh man, you ladies are dealing with some seriously bitchy MILs. Mine is more obnoxious and rude. Both ILs are coming this weekend. They drive me nuts. They insist on being entertained and always want to go to fancy restaurants which doesn't work with a toddler who goes to bed at 7:30. But I'm the difficult one if I say no. MIL refuses to change diapers and refuses to put DS to bed on time, so.I don't like having them babysit because DS is always dirty and off his schedule. Just go back to WI and leave us alone already. I'd prefer to spend the weekend in just my underwear anyway.

rsalata2015

Hayesrn. I stood up to her. Cause I can't handle that crap to continue. My baby my rules :-) and now I feel better that I layed down the law.

trytry38ever

Love this so much I was just about to post my gripe when I saw this.

So anyways I am beyond annoyed with my MIL she only wants to come around when she feels like it which is fine by me but gets but hurt if we tell her no. Well anyways today I told my DH I wanted to go shopping and he wanted to join me he called his mom to see if she would baby sit but was busy which is fine. So after we already finish shopping and DH had to go to a meeting for work she texted me asking if we needed her to come over I told her no we where fine and that DH was already at work. So once DH comes home he tells me that his mom told him that I told her she couldn't come over. Now it's already 7pm I was going to start cooking after feeding DD and she's coming over and she comes over all the time in the evening without much notice and stays till almost 10pm all the while we are starving because I only have enough for us and don't want to eat in front of her. On top of that she hasn't taken care of a baby since my DH was little and she needs to relearn and learn all the new things yet she will not shut up about what we should be doing. It took me weeks to finally get her to stop telling us to give DD formula and to take her out and put a bunch of lotion on her, take her a bath in a tub with the cord still on, give her water, give a pacifer, let her do the first things with DD. Etc and a while bunch more arghhhh just thinking about it. On top of that she called her her little girl and how much my DD is like her daughter now because she always wanted one but never did. Oh I could go on forever and ever but I guess I'll end today's gripe here. to be continued......

mishmardhiono

My MIL is an angel, my mother... Is a handful. I was having a shower on day 2 baby hadn't had FIRST bath, darling mum took our daughter for her first bath and didn't see anything wrong with it, she constantly insinuates I starve and don't feed my daughter, if she comes over she messes up DD room, pulls out different outfits to show people, expects dinner & to be waited on. It was her bday on day 6 so she planned the party at our house cos that would be easiest, she has dropped off her washing and ironing for me to do because "I'm not working". Total nightmare, I said to her first off to back off a bit and realise she's had her time. Now she's been told she's not going to be welcome at our house anymore if she doesn't stop. That has worked out well & she's backed off

dancegurl1118

Yesterday my mom said that the reason LO is fussy all day and not napping is because I did too much skin to skin as a newborn.

Also she's a big "Let her cry it out" supported. Not as a newborn, girlfriend. No way no how.

rsalata2015

To hell with that nonsense. Babies need their parents comforting. No such thing as too much skin to skin that's where they've been for nine to ten months. So that's where they'll find comfort. Their generation just doesn't get it. I will never just let my baby cry. They need lots of lovins. So keep cuddling your baby no matter what she says. They don't stay little so soak it up while you can.

HayesRN13

dancegurl1118 said:

Yesterday my mom said that the reason LO is fussy all day and not napping is because I did too much skin to skin as a newborn.

Also she's a big "Let her cry it out" supported. Not as a newborn, girlfriend. No way no how.

Ugh this irritates me so much! Poor babies... They need to be "worn" to feel secure, to feel secure/loved and nourished are the only things they need right now..

rsalata2015

Amen sister!

MaliKaela

Overall, my MIL is pretty darn tame compared to pp's. I would lose my mind and would not be able to hold my tongue if I had to deal with these women.

My MIL doesn't seem to want to listen to how we want LO taken care of. Like she was feeding him and didn't think she needed to burp him although he is gassy and def needs it. Or she was on the phone and LO's head was lolling off her lap and she kept saying "he's fine." Um... no he's not. Just let me take him, you can have him back when you are done.

The real weird thing is she keeps bringing up intimacy pp and how important it is to force yourself to have sex even if you don't feel like it. It is so inappropriate and uncomfortable, and really none of her business!

I know I really shouldn't complain... but ya.

SammeMotley

My MIL has been a total nightmare for the duration of my marriage and pregnancy. Then on Mother's Day, decides she wants to play nice now since my due date was coming up. I went along with it and am pleasant ( mind you I've never been rude to her). Her and her mother make such unnecessary comments about me and then suddenly wanted to be up my rear after I had the baby. Now the Fourth of July is near and they do a cook out all night at her mothers house. DH told me months ago we wouldn't be going because the baby would be too young. Well I decided I wanted to go to a friends house last night and now today he's saying we need to go to his grandmothers because she is upset nobody wants to go this year. Well um no I will not go. Maybe if they weren't such rude bitches people would want to be around. I'm just sayin.

josiegirl12

Is it possible to have a mother in law that is so nice, its annoying? She is so loving and supportive but there is something driving me crazy. She said "just let is know when you get to the hospital and we will be there as soon as we can!" She says they want to wait in the waiting room the entire time!! I'm so frustrated because I don't want people waiting, and I don't want my husband leaving me to go update his parents. Plus I want a little time before I get smothered with people. And I know she's going to ask a million questions about the dilivery and how I feel. If I tell them I don't want them waiting in the waiting room it would crush her.

mccall35

josiegirl12 said:

Is it possible to have a mother in law that is so nice, its annoying? She is so loving and supportive but there is something driving me crazy. She said "just let is know when you get to the hospital and we will be there as soon as we can!" She says they want to wait in the waiting room the entire time!! I'm so frustrated because I don't want people waiting, and I don't want my husband leaving me to go update his parents. Plus I want a little time before I get smothered with people. And I know she's going to ask a million questions about the dilivery and how I feel. If I tell them I don't want them waiting in the waiting room it would crush her.

This is my mil. Too too helpful and kind. I find it soooo irritating especially as a post partum mum (it happened after DS was born too). She's just too in your face, the defensive mama bear in me sees it as her trying to steal my newborn moments. I know she's just excited and happy and It makes me feel guilty for complaining, given the MILs described on here, but sometimes i would prefer she distances herself a bit.

(I.e she's set up 2 nurseries in her house, one for DS who's 2 and one for DD who's 4wks- we live 5 minutes away... There are very few instances when we would need this type of setup and I've been very clear- I won't be leaving our NB with then overnight for a long long time- However, she still went ahead with the nurseries).

Sammy K

I might as well bitch about my mom since I already complained about MIL. My mom sends a package after DD was born: onesies for DD, a shirt and several toys for DS and a work out shirt for me. Thanks, I get it, time to lose the baby weight. Chocolate would have been more appreciated. :-/
ETA autocorrect

paige0704

My first day home with baby i had my parents, in laws and brother in law all in my one bedroom apartment...this was very overwhelming to come home to...but regardless i was on cloud nine with also exhaustion and instead of just keeping her opinions to herself MIL pulls me alone in my bedroom and sits me down to ask if i am OK? And that there is nothing abnormal woth having post partum....and then comtinued to ask if i was feeling depressed all weekend! Wtf!! No woman i just want u to go home And then i wpuld feel better!! I was so happy to bring baby home and i felt it was ruined! And i am so bummed they come back this sunday for a few nights...yuck!

ElRuby

Mine called last night at 9pm just as DS was finally going to sleep! I was so mad .. DH said he will talk to her about it... He hates when anyone calls the house past 8 unless it is an emergency or something so at least we are on the same page .... And she was so loud on the other end ... Ugh!

rrcameron21

josiegirl12 said:

Is it possible to have a mother in law that is so nice, its annoying? She is so loving and supportive but there is something driving me crazy. She said "just let is know when you get to the hospital and we will be there as soon as we can!" She says they want to wait in the waiting room the entire time!! I'm so frustrated because I don't want people waiting, and I don't want my husband leaving me to go update his parents. Plus I want a little time before I get smothered with people. And I know she's going to ask a million questions about the dilivery and how I feel. If I tell them I don't want them waiting in the waiting room it would crush her.

This is sooooooo my MIL! Like , she has had her hospital bag packed longer than I have. She is beyond excited it's annoying. We told her about us getting induced on Friday evening and she asked if she could come in Thursday (she lives 5 hours away) to wait with us... I had to tell her no. Like, it's our last night without baby! Why would we want you here to "wait with us"? Then she sas "ok well I'm off Friday so I'll just wake up early and be there!". I don't know what she thinks inducing is... But he's not poopin right out when we get to the hospital. I have nothing to complain about I just like my space. A lot. I'm not a hugger, I'm not going to be comfortable breast feeding with her in the room. I just feel like she's pushing herself on us and it's frustrating. Thank god my fiancé isn't a mamas boy. I'd have to end things.

kkdb14

MIL calls the pacifier a "foo foo" or "foofie". I'm sorry lady but that's just obnoxious. I called it a "pie" when I was little, so that's the term I've been trying to get LO used to, and she knows this, and calls it a f***ing "foofie" anyway. Like please stop trying to confuse my kid. Everyone on his side of the family is sooo territorial. They constantly talk about how she looks JUST like BF (she's my spitting image), and insist on seeing her several times a week, but only when I bring her to them. They're generally nice people, but it's like they only want her to be HIS kid, and basically try to act like I have nothing to do with her. If you've seen my previous posts about BF and I's living situation, you'd know that her care falls on solely me about 97% of the time. So, when they try to act like I have no part in her, it REALLY pisses me off.

Stabby.

KaLikeAWind

Mom rant. Not that big of one, but I gots nowhere else to vent it, so...

I was talking to my mom on the phone today (well, as its now 3am, yesterday) and I'm explaining our struggles with getting LO to bf - the inefficient nursing while on boob, all the effort I put into his actual time on boob to make it more efficient, the pumping that comes after, supplementing with formula after that... Talking about how long the endeavor takes me each and every time... And first thing she says is "well I can give him his formula when I'm there" (she is coming next week). Yeah, no shiz. Anybody can give a bottle of formula. Its convenient like that. But it annoys the piss out of me that I'm explaining these struggles I am having and how its really doing a number on my mental edge and emotional state ("I can't feed my baby") - and all YOU can think of is "well now I'll get to feed him sometimes". Yeah, thanks. You can hold a bottle of formula for 5-8 minutes of the HOUR long ordeal that is feeding my kid. Go you, mom. That'll be SUPER helpful.

I know she really will be helpful in other ways when she is here, and I really WILL be grateful she came, but it was such a selfish reaction to my outpouring of dismay that it really pissed me off.

AMNDCHR2

We are supplementing too and I am glad someone else is feeling the same way emotionally. We started off so good and then they found out that baby was tongue tied later on and really affected my milk supply. It really sucks too to pump while someone else want to feed your child in another room.

KarasTwin

josiegirl12 said:

Is it possible to have a mother in law that is so nice, its annoying? She is so loving and supportive but there is something driving me crazy. She said "just let is know when you get to the hospital and we will be there as soon as we can!" She says they want to wait in the waiting room the entire time!! I'm so frustrated because I don't want people waiting, and I don't want my husband leaving me to go update his parents. Plus I want a little time before I get smothered with people. And I know she's going to ask a million questions about the dilivery and how I feel. If I tell them I don't want them waiting in the waiting room it would crush her.

Yes! Mine feels like she can't just come over and visit. She constantly is wanting to know if we need something and if we don't she doesn't come over. The other night she asked if she needed to scrub the toilet. She's also very affectionate and tries to hug and kiss me and baby while I'm nursing/pumping or even bathing him

delujm0

My in laws are awesome actually and completely respect our personal space. They drove down to see us when DD was born and got to the hospital 3 hours after her birth. They stayed about 30 minutes and then went to our house where they cared for our pets, did laundry, grocery shopping, and yard work without us asking. They visited the hospital for 4-5 hours the two days we were there and were very helpful. They're the best.

My mom on the other hand is a nightmare, especially now that my sister is also here. She insisted on coming for 10 days to "help" but other than a few diaper changes and trips to Wal mart she basically just tells me how cute the baby is when she's not screaming her head off. My sister was bored yesterday so they went to the mall for 5 hours, leaving me alone with the baby during her Afternoon Screamy Time. Not helpful. They also leave the house a mess and DH is constantly following them around cleaning up after them. They leave tomorrow. Thank god.

josiegirl12

@KarasTwin my MIL is exactly the same way! Always touchy, and caring but it is a little too much. And I know when she comes over to visit she will be scrubbing toilets and doing dishes, which is sweet that she is trying to help. But I just want to tell her not to touch my stuff, and I don't need help! And I can totally see her trying to help me breast feed which I am not okay with.

KarasTwin

@josiegirl12 I just found out that she over drafted her and FILs checking account and had my 21 year old sil sneak money out of FILs safe to put in the bank without telling him. I guess she was going to put it back when she got paid but he was adding money to the safe and counted what was in there and figured it out. I feel extremely guilty because she bought food for us several times last week and bought some things at Target and instead of using the gift card I sent with her, paid for it herself. I tried to pay her back and she wouldn't take it. FIL recently had a huge health scare and then missed 3 weeks of work without pay because he's a preacher and had revival at church. He also is paying over $300 per month out of pocket for prescriptions. She's supposed to be cutting back to part time at work and watching baby twice a week, now I'm concerned they can't afford it and won't tell us. It's kind of their fault, though because they don't always make good financial choices and SIL is getting married in September and they initially gave her a $3000 budget and told her she had to pay for anything additional so they both go behind each other and spend more. MIL spent over half the budget on dress/veil and told her not to tell her dad. I'm so frustrated. I feel guilty, but I don't really think that I should.

dancingram

My inlaws have been amazing, MIL came to stay a few days ago, and on the day she left she got up super early, prepared two nights worth of dinners for us and left then in the fridge, and then slipped out without waking DD and I up. She just left a really sweet note. I love that woman!

My parents are a different story. My mother and sister came two days PP to "help" and my mother preceded to sit on the couch watching TV until she could smoother the baby with kisses and snuggles every chance she could and wouldn't put her down or hand her over until she was red in the face and screaming. While my poor sister, who just got back from deployment, did nothing but housework and cook the while time (she was amazing, I don't know what I would do without her) I ended up sending my mom home because she stressed me out too much and wasn't doing anything to help. Plus she smokes and I just can't have that. Then, they ALWAYS call during the witching hour wanting to talk for an hour while I'm trying to sooth DD, even though neither of them work and could call during the day. It's little stuff, but it still annoys me.

SammeMotley

I'm having to start supplementing formula at night time in addition to breastfeeding and pumping. Thanks to the breast shield and unskilled lactation consultant, our breastfeeding relationship was sabotaged.

KaLikeAWind

SammeMotley said:

I'm having to start supplementing formula at night time in addition to breastfeeding and pumping. Thanks to the breast shield and unskilled lactation consultant, our breastfeeding relationship was sabotaged.

Booo. Sorry to hear this.

mindaa

My IL's are totally cool normally, but their visit was kinda weird. MIL didn't even want to hold baby. They spent more time going out to eat with DH then hanging out with baby, leaving me at home alone (instead of, oh I don't know, bringing over dinner for everyone). And mil actually texted me a photo one night, like thanks for rubbing it in that you're all out without me

laurendutch

mindaa said:

My IL's are totally cool normally, but their visit was kinda weird. MIL didn't even want to hold baby. They spent more time going out to eat with DH then hanging out with baby, leaving me at home alone (instead of, oh I don't know, bringing over dinner for everyone). And mil actually texted me a photo one night, like thanks for rubbing it in that you're all out without me

That's really weird and completely sucks that your DH left you out! Were you not supposed to eat too?

AngieD82

Oh man! All these mil vents! This is why I'm so grateful that my mil lives 3000 miles away and doesn't talk to me. She will when they come out next month but other than that-not a word!

This is why I'm also grateful that we didn't tell anyone in my family about me getting induced and after DS was born, I was strong and sent an email out saying give me time to recover and let us get into a new routine.