Skinny women & pregnancy

SummerOH · August 2015

MommyHeid said:

Not sure what DDing is, but I'm surely the "offender" you're speaking of. I am SO SORRY if I'm not up to date on what these silly terms mean (DD, WK). I deleted my comments because you are BULLIES, yes I said it. You don't want anyone to post on here that is new, and the few above comments prove that is true. And who cares if I did delete what I wrote? You took everything I said and twisted it to be what you wanted it to say. Who cares??! You guys take this board way too seriously! It's sad when you see so many posts on here, people get bullied by a few of you, and then say they won't be posting again. I recognize your "names" because you're always the harsh ones that people run from. Maybe it's too hard to have real life friends?! And you have to bully people on the Internet. How freakin cool are you? And you'll all probably praise yourselves for (again) running someone off this board (me). If you're trying to "educate" someone on how the board/community works, surely there is a better way to come across than some of you do. Shame on you.

It's not bullying. And the ladies on here are very nice to new posters, especially those that need support. I think this thread just got a little carried away.

KaraEpp16 · August 2015

Do you recognize my name? I don't usually participate in these types of threads because I know that there are women on this board who will look out for people who come on here to post without understanding the sense of community we have. I trust them to defend the integrity of the board. I trust them to call out another member who is actually being a BULLY. I only saw bits and pieces of what you said but in what world is it okay to deem certain body types desirable vs. undesirable? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know that most of the women on here would agree (because they have) that we need to reinforce our ability to self love while we are on this pregnancy journey.

If what you said earlier was an example of what you have to offer us here...then I can't honestly say I'm sorry to see you leave. We support each other and we look out for one another. That's what this board is about.

Thank you for trying to assess the situation here without actively participating but you are sadly mistaken. The members here know who has their backs. I appreciate them immensely and I'm not sad to see them run you out on a pole.

nickicb7 · August 2015

First off, @MommyHeid do you actually know what the word bully means? Since you used in incorrectly I'm going to assume you don't.

A bully is a person who uses a power imbalance (That means they have more power or shift the power in a relationship in their favour), and use that imbalance to repeatedly to hurt someone emotionally or physically.

On the Internet, no one has more power than another. What the "regulars" on this board do, is try to educate the new posters on how the boards work to help them navigate it better, and in order to create less overflow of similar posts, or confusion.

The WK, or white knights, make it worse by coming to the defence of the people who are being told the rules, by not recognizing the fact that it is meant to be helpful to the community.

@Snoopylovesbelle just did a lovely and articulate thing when finally OP returned, by clarifying and helping her to see why the up roar in the first if place.

Finally, I was once new here too, I posted against the grain and was flamed for it, but I came back, stood my ground and learned how the boards work, and now I feel as though I am part of an awesome, helpful and supportive community. It's the people who "drive by" who usually stir up the most trouble and call out all the WK's. All we are saying is stick around, see posts through, and appreciate the fact that you are posting to a place where hundreds of different women, with different opinions and personalities are going to respond, and no they may not all agree with you!

Edited: format and words

MommyHeid · August 2015

Your "friends" we're only going to bat for one body type. I was only trying to open their eyes to see that multiple body types have insecurities, despite what they look like or what they view themselves as. You are right, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and any body type could see themselves as undesirable. Everyone was quick to jump on my back before they understood what I was trying to say, which is why I deleted my comments. It was getting out of hand and taking what I was saying completely out of context.
And the integrity of the board? The same ones who were just discouraging new comers?
Thanks but no thanks.

SummerOH · August 2015

MommyHeid said:

Your "friends" we're only going to bat for one body type. I was only trying to open their eyes to see that multiple body types have insecurities, despite what they look like or what they view themselves as. You are right, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and any body type could see themselves as undesirable. Everyone was quick to jump on my back before they understood what I was trying to say, which is why I deleted my comments. It was getting out of hand and taking what I was saying completely out of context. And the integrity of the board? The same ones who were just discouraging new comers? Thanks but no thanks.

They weren't discouraging newcomers. They were discouraging newcomers from using terms like "undesirable" in reference to a certain body type. There's a big difference and, yes, discouraging one from using those terms IS preserving the integrity of the board.

JandJ62914 · August 2015

You were not bullied...your choice of words was offensive and you got called out. That does not make you a victim of bullying. Too many people misuse that term and it diminishes the experiences of those who are truly victims of harassment and bullying.

I suggest you read this for some insight:

https://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/news/overuse-word-bully/

Lljbean · August 2015

You said that everyone else was twisting your words. But, from what I recall, you were the only one that said a body type other than thin, was undesirable and then tried to pin that on us. None of us deleted our comments so you can read through all of them and see no one, but you, went down that road. You were called out on it. The end.

apinkpelican · August 2015

@MommyHeidI think you need to be careful with the " " since that is what got us into trouble in the first place. I understand what you are saying but you really rubbed people the wrong way with that one, even if that wasn't your intention. I think if you apologized for your poor word choice and tried to understand where these ladies are coming from we could all...just... move.....on!

willashbaby · August 2015

No one discourages new comers, we discourage people who post without reading and learning the boards first. If you go into a party full of people you don't know do you start shouting into the room or do you take a seat back and check out the action first? It's the same here. Don't expect to just jump into the party and have everything go smoothly. Many of us have been here together for months now. That should be respected by "new comers".

nickicb7 · August 2015

JandJ62914 said:

You were not bullied...your choice of words was offensive and you got called out. That does not make you a victim of bullying. Too many people misuse that term and it diminishes the experiences of those who are truly victims of harassment and bullying.

I suggest you read this for some insight:

https://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/news/overuse-word-bully/

Thank you for this link!

RepeatPostPolice · August 2015

MommyHeid said:
Your "friends" we're only going to bat for one body type. I was only trying to open their eyes to see that multiple body types have insecurities, despite what they look like or what they view themselves as. You are right, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and any body type could see themselves as undesirable. Everyone was quick to jump on my back before they understood what I was trying to say, which is why I deleted my comments. It was getting out of hand and taking what I was saying completely out of context.
And the integrity of the board? The same ones who were just discouraging new comers?
Thanks but no thanks.

Well since you *tried* to delete most of what you posted no one really knows what you originally said. So go ahead and play the victim card without any evidence.

And for the record, I wasn't "going to bat" for the plus-size mamas, I was going to bat against usage of the term "undesirable," because I find it extremely offensive, judgmental, and in this case, hypocritical of you to be on one hand offended by a perceived insult to skinniness, and in the next breath return with an insult to ladies on the other end of the spectrum.

So do you want to be the pot or the kettle here?

KaraEpp16 · August 2015

In honor of StephPegasus RIP - she would have called you out and explained to you that now you are just defending the dead horse you've already beaten.

To honor StephPegasus I deem this thread: A Dance Party

KaraEpp16 · August 2015

KaraEpp16 · August 2015

deaddahliah · August 2015

Paige6410 · August 2015

willashbaby · August 2015

Still haven't made the effort to learn how to gif but...

:bz

JandJ62914 · August 2015

jtk4life · August 2015

deaddahliah · August 2015

nickicb7 · August 2015

jessielynn1 · August 2015

bumptara · August 2015

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To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.

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