Today my SO got up at 8 and has been upstairs in our bonus room playing Xbox for 6.5 hours. Now I will give him this, he hasn't played since LO came BUT...at 11 I told him my grandparents were coming to visit sometime at 4 or after so if we wanted to get out and do anything then we would need to do so before then. At 3:30 he comes downstairs dressed to go get something to eat and asks me if I want to go and get something to eat. I looked at the time on my phone and said well maybe two hours ago, but now I can't go anywhere because we are expecting company. After a good two or three minutes of silent awkwardness he asked if I was mad at him and I said "honestly I don't care what you do anymore babe, just go get you some food" (I said that with a quivering chin because I was about to cry). I tend to hold everything in and it just makes it worse. It just irritates me that I have been downstairs all day with the baby and he works all week and he can't spend time with us. I'd be fine with 2 or 3 hours of Xbox, but double that? Heck no. Rant over. Meh.
told DH "then go sleep on the couch" after he said "he has a crib you know" when i asked him to move so i could put LO down. (DH was laying so far in the middle of the bed he was on my side, i wouldnt have even been able to laydown without LO) maybe i took what he said wrong. but i dont care at this point, i was trying to feed/burp LO for way too long, he wouldnt burp but wouldnt latch on because of the airhe swallowed so he was basically just whining and being fussy. all while DH was just laying there. grrrr.
This is a DH/MIL rant... Today MIL came to visit, and I've never been a fan of her. I was pumping and supplementing, but now we're strictly formula feeding. My girls were premies and we had trouble getting them to eat when they were born so bottles were introduced at birth and they never really got the hang of breastfeeding. She constantly puts me down about this like I'm a failure (or at least I feel like she does)... She asks every time she sees me if I try and nurse them and how I should do that more because her kids were exclusively breastfed. Only she has NO IDEA what it's like to feed twins. Bottle feeding works for us, breastfeeding did not. And I thought she was going to drop dead when DH told her were switching to just formula. I argued with her and stood up for my decision and DH didn't say one word. I want to knock both of their heads together... I wanted to breastfeed but it didn't work and we adapted. It's what works for us and I shouldn't have to feel bad about our decision or our parenting style.
I went to a close friends bridal shower yesterday. I was nervous because it would be DH's first time alone with both kids and contemplated not going but I did my hair, got dressed up, put on make-up (only my second time wearing make up since LO was born, the first was for my new drivers license picture) and left. I left at 12:30. By 2:30 he had texted me at least 10 times and his parents were there to "help". Seriously?? He lasted less than 2 hours, that's sad. The bright side is now he maybe won't get all snotty with me when he asks what I've done around the house today and I say "nothing" because he understands that 2 kids and a puppy can be a handful!
so because of our fight last night and today's events. DH has come into the bedroom once to see LO, and it was only to see why he was crying. he was at work from 10-6:30.. but its almost 9 now and ive had LO alone since last night. and somehow i dont think ill be relieved of baby anytime soon. at least i was able to shit and shower earlier today.
We went to a museum yesterday and LO fussed in the carrier I had on. DH carried LO for 2 hours, facing out to show him all the paintings. I'm not sure who enjoyed it more - DH or LO (who tried so hard to fight sleep but after 2 hours, ended up suddenly passing out, head falling forward like a bag of bricks). I have such cute pictures of them, with DH's eyes shining and LO's eyes drooping.
I haven't had this argument with DH yet, but I will. It will happen at some point. He works with this guy, guy and wife have a 7-8 month old. She breastfeeds exclusively (well, now introducing solids, but you know what I mean). This woman, she's very nice. There is nothing wrong with her in any way (except they don't vaccinate, but that's a whole other rant that's not about this woman specifically). I want that to be clear this lady is a real nice gal and has been very supportive (via fb, I'm a hermit and don't like to hang out with other spouses) and if I needed help I could ask her and despite only meeting her in person once I know she would do what she could to help me. A truly nice gal. What does this have to do with DH? Well, I mommy hate her. I have since I first got pregnant. Totally not her fault, just she seems so damned pinterest perfect and I knew from the beginning my being a mommy would be a hot mess. Anyway. DH told her about my struggles with supply. He's just looking out for us, and she is willing to give pointers, cause she is a good person like that. But, ugh. He discussed this with pinterest perfect mommy. And, the other day he said he wondered if LO would do the laid back bf position now (we have never been able to make that position work) that he was stronger. I said I could try it, but not right then as I was sitting up straight and I would need to be slightly reclined. And he says 'well, when (pinterest perfect mommy) does it she is sitting up straight and just pops the kid on'. This, not more than 2 hours after we are purchasing diapers and he is saying 'the (pinterest perfect family) use cloth diapers, she (pinterest perfect mommy) says it saves them tons of money and isn't that hard'.
Thank you for constantly reminding me how much better this woman is at being a mommy than I. I'm so glad I have you here to tell me how much easier and happier I could be if I just did everything like that lady.
So far I have held my tongue, but one day its going to let fly and that day will probably not be pretty.
P.s. - in a week or so I'm supposed to have breakfast with this lady and all the other military spouses in town. Sounds like a real blast
Just some words of comfort for those of you who have DH's that aren't bonding with LO, my husband was the same way with our son at first. We both were unaware of how parenting would affect us or what to do with a newborn. He often would just leave DS in the bouncy seat instead of hold him, or instantly pass him off when lo would cry, and I still remember the first time I left DS with DH while I went grocery shopping. DS cried the whole time and it freaked DH out who called me hastily with a "when will you be home?" I wasn't even gone an hour. Fast forward to a time when DS would interact more intently with DH (around 3-4 months old), they became best homies and light up around one another. They love their trips to Home Depot and the auto parts store. DH is also more comfortable with the newborn phase the second time around. A little practice does go a long way. Point being...everyone bonds in their own time and way. There's also a huge learning curve to this whole parenting thing. Be forgiving and patient with one another. We're all newbies here.
ETA: spelling and sentence structure.
This. My husband told me that it's easier for him this time around because he knows how to care for and love a baby. The learning curve was much longer for him than for me. He's always been a good dad and supportive partner but he's able to take initiative without direction this time around which makes it much easier on me.
Hang in there FTMs... Your partners will find niche with your LO.
This is a DH/MIL rant... Today MIL came to visit, and I've never been a fan of her. I was pumping and supplementing, but now we're strictly formula feeding. My girls were premies and we had trouble getting them to eat when they were born so bottles were introduced at birth and they never really got the hang of breastfeeding. She constantly puts me down about this like I'm a failure (or at least I feel like she does)... She asks every time she sees me if I try and nurse them and how I should do that more because her kids were exclusively breastfed. Only she has NO IDEA what it's like to feed twins. Bottle feeding works for us, breastfeeding did not. And I thought she was going to drop dead when DH told her were switching to just formula. I argued with her and stood up for my decision and DH didn't say one word. I want to knock both of their heads together... I wanted to breastfeed but it didn't work and we adapted. It's what works for us and I shouldn't have to feel bad about our decision or our parenting style.
Wow, our MIL'S sound a lot alike. I hate mine and she hates me. She hates me because I "took her son away" by marrying him. She had my DH and his brother. She didn't even try breastfeeding with them. With my ds, she told me she didn't understand why I didn't formula feed. She is 100% against breastfeeding. She told us "Every time I want to see him, you have to feed him. What if I want to feed him?". She was such a b!tch about it. Now that our twin girls are here, I breastfeed them too. When they were born my mil just walked into my hospital room with no notice at all. No text, call or even a knock at the door. My DH was just changing their diapers because I was going to feed my crying babies. She grabbed them right out of DH'S hands and said they didn't need to eat. If they did, we should give her a bottle of formula and she'd feed them.
Thank God my DH is just as sick of his mom as I am. He stood up for me telling her the benefits of breastfeeding and saying how proud he was that I'm doing it with twins. He kicked her out. The twins are almost 2 months and she hadn't attempted to see them since. Good ridden! Glad I have an amazing dh that stood up for me.
DH told me this morning that i dont care about the safety of our child. just because he cosleeps with us. DH is mad because i apparently kept pulling the blanket off him last night. but i never pulled it off him, just moved it off of LO's head. Last night DH told me to move LO, and the way he said it just made it seem like he needed a bit more room to get comfortable so i told him we cant move over anymore or ill be off the bed. but apparently he wanted me to move the baby to its crib or to the other side of me because he moves around in his sleep. so he is mad at me because i "got snarky" with him and i didnt understand what he meant. sorry i cant read your mind dear.
and, he works at 1 and has been with LO for all of 10 minutes at most today, changing his diaper and burping him while i went pee. i can hearhim in the living room on his phone just playing games. so frustrating. after he was done changing LO last he was handed off with a "here's our kid" with a tone of "you deal with him"
ive also been trapped in the same spot for around 3 hours now and have yet to eat anything. but guess who went to the store and got food for himself..
You are stronger than I am! I would probably have thrown something and injured him if he went without getting me anything! You're the one who is stuck in the same spot and hasn't eaten! I'm sure given the situation was reversed, he would be screaming for food after an hour.
My rant...when DH decides 'you need to call -insert name of phone company here- about our bill Bc they sent me a text about our account' when you are holding a screaming and upset LO, and DH decides it needs to be done NOW, then leaves for work. Then calls you to see if you did it 10 mins later and you struggle to hear him over the screaming.
Pretty minor rant, but it's annoying me. For the last 6 months I have been asking DH to put blinds up in our room. We have a 9'x4' picture window and even at night, our room is really bright. 3 months ago, I bought everything we needed. Two weeks ago, I measured and marked everything. Brackets are up but that's it. I asked on Sunday about finishing them and he just said it won't take long. So why aren't they done?? I would do it myself, but every time I try, LO needs to be fed or DH has the drill and saw in his truck. I hate nagging but seriously! Just finish one damn project in this house already!
I asked DH to take the twins to his scout meeting tonight (bonfire, summer party) so that I could take our toddler swimming to bond with her. He said "I can take one twin". Even though I argued that I keep all 3 girls all day and every single Wednesday for his scouts he still just went to bed saying he couldn't take both. They'll literally just sleep in their baby seats the whole time and this particular activity won't have any supervising that needs to happen. He'll just be hanging out with the boys and his fellow leaders the whole time! It was just so frustrating because I do it no question and he wouldn't even consider it! I never seem to get any time with just our first because I'm always so busy with the twins. (Before you ask, I can't take her another day because he's been out of the house helping his brother move every day).
I just don't get it! It seems pretty selfish to me...
I asked DH to take the twins to his scout meeting tonight (bonfire, summer party) so that I could take our toddler swimming to bond with her. He said "I can take one twin". Even though I argued that I keep all 3 girls all day and every single Wednesday for his scouts he still just went to bed saying he couldn't take both. They'll literally just sleep in their baby seats the whole time and this particular activity won't have any supervising that needs to happen. He'll just be hanging out with the boys and his fellow leaders the whole time! It was just so frustrating because I do it no question and he wouldn't even consider it! I never seem to get any time with just our first because I'm always so busy with the twins. (Before you ask, I can't take her another day because he's been out of the house helping his brother move every day).
I just don't get it! It seems pretty selfish to me...
Wow, I can't imagine how tough it must be to care for a toddler and twins. I'm sure your husband is overwhelmed at the thought of potentially having to take 2 of them should they wake up. My DH has yet to watch both our almost 2 year old son and LO at the same time. As you know, it IS hard, but there's no way to figure out how to do it other than to just be thrown into it (like we have been!). So yeah, I say suck it up and give it a whirl!
I am finding myself missing one-on one-time with DS1, too. I cried the other day while we were out for a walk. I had baby sleeping in the carrier and, of course, the 2 y.o. wanted to be picked up. I obviously couldn't, so DH picked him up, but he cried reaching for "mama." It's a big adjustment, and I know that I can't realistically give both kids what they want/need all the time. And it will probably end up being good for them to have to learn patience, sharing, etc. But your daughter probably needs this bonding time just as much as you. I would be firm with your husband about it. If not tonight, then he needs to figure out another time to make it happen in the next few days, regardless of his brother's move.
I work nights from about 4-10 so DH is the one taking full care of our child. Well she gets super cranky and cries a lot during this time. Witching hours or something. But now I know he probably makes it worse because he barely takes to LO, he doesn't hold her tight and cuddle her like she likes. He just sits there with her and watches tv or plays games on his damn phone. How about making some god damned eye contact with your child and talking to her and then MAYBE just MAYBE you can stop saying how much she hates you. Because as a baby I would hate a person to who doesn't talk to me or hold me like he loves me
@rrcameron21@katyertl I read your comments as my hubs is holding LO and also looking at his phone. Tho I must say in his defense, LO is asleep. This time. Not every time, tho
@rrcameron21@katyertl & @mellymar mine does the SAME thing. Phone or tv & video games when Madden comes out. Like mellymar said, when she's asleep, alls good, but awake time is bonding!
On a good note, he has gotten a little better about it this week. He said he feels awkward bc she can't respond/do much & I told him to just talk baby talk about what he's reading on Twitter as he scrolls & I showed him how she likes snuggles. He's only been alone with her while I shower/nap, so I think him watching her alone on my teacher work day will be helpful too.
I asked DH to take the twins to his scout meeting tonight (bonfire, summer party) so that I could take our toddler swimming to bond with her. He said "I can take one twin". Even though I argued that I keep all 3 girls all day and every single Wednesday for his scouts he still just went to bed saying he couldn't take both. They'll literally just sleep in their baby seats the whole time and this particular activity won't have any supervising that needs to happen. He'll just be hanging out with the boys and his fellow leaders the whole time! It was just so frustrating because I do it no question and he wouldn't even consider it! I never seem to get any time with just our first because I'm always so busy with the twins. (Before you ask, I can't take her another day because he's been out of the house helping his brother move every day).
I just don't get it! It seems pretty selfish to me...
I think I'd punch him! I'm pretty lucky! My DH is amazing. He'll watch our twin girls so I can bond with our almost 3 year old son. Then I'll watch them so he can bond with ds. It's nice because he's even taken all 3 kids so that I can have some me time. I'm alone with all 3 of them while he's at work all day, so it's nice to be able to get some time to myself. I don't know how you do it by yourself constantly. I'd go nuts!
First time poster...been lurking since October, but absolutely had to get this rant out somewhere! I bf lo but go back to work in september, when I'm planning to try to pump and bf. We have been working at introducing a bottle this week (we waited the recommended month to avoid nipple confusion...which I don't know if it's a thing or not but I will say there have been no issues on that end). Dh has been giving the bottle and for the most part it's gone so well, I've been happy! Well tonight I didn't have time to put together the bottle before dh got home from work, it was sitting in pieces on the counter along with my pump parts having air dried from when I cleaned everything earlier. I sat on the couch to pump while dh went to get the bottle ready in the kitchen....and I hear cursing come from the other room and know immediately what happened...hed spilled the milk. All 4 ounces of it. How? He apparently couldn't tell that the bottle was not assembled and basically just poured it all over the counter. So not only did he waste 4 ounces of milk, I also had to clean all the pump parts and bottles that had been on the counter again. I wanted to either murder him or cry. (
Here's my mini rant. SO is a chef so I understand that shift work is hard. But after I've been home all day AND night with witching hours, he only takes him when his asleep and then as soon as he started to fuss again he passes him off saying 'mummy I think he needs a bottle' LO is formula feed so there is nothing stopping him from getting up and getting him a bottle. Then I'm also the one that gets up to him through the night. SO sleeps in another room. All in all SO would spend roughly an hour a day with him.
I know this isn't much to rant about but when it's 5 days a week, I want a break to.
I asked DH to take the twins to his scout meeting tonight (bonfire, summer party) so that I could take our toddler swimming to bond with her. He said "I can take one twin". Even though I argued that I keep all 3 girls all day and every single Wednesday for his scouts he still just went to bed saying he couldn't take both. They'll literally just sleep in their baby seats the whole time and this particular activity won't have any supervising that needs to happen. He'll just be hanging out with the boys and his fellow leaders the whole time! It was just so frustrating because I do it no question and he wouldn't even consider it! I never seem to get any time with just our first because I'm always so busy with the twins. (Before you ask, I can't take her another day because he's been out of the house helping his brother move every day).
I just don't get it! It seems pretty selfish to me...
I think I'd punch him! I'm pretty lucky! My DH is amazing. He'll watch our twin girls so I can bond with our almost 3 year old son. Then I'll watch them so he can bond with ds. It's nice because he's even taken all 3 kids so that I can have some me time. I'm alone with all 3 of them while he's at work all day, so it's nice to be able to get some time to myself. I don't know how you do it by yourself constantly. I'd go nuts!
That's the funny thing...he's been alone with all 3 girls before. I think he was just unsure last night because I asked again and he took both girls. We went swimming just the 2 of us and it was so great! He's really been amazing...I just have to push him sometimes. He takes one baby and I take the other for the whole night so we share the sleeplessness equally and he always steps in after work. He just gets all weirded out if both girls fuss at the same time! Oh well, he did it and I was grateful. I had to go over the top with the praise just so he knew I was grateful but it's a price I'm willing to pay lol
I was going to rave, but mostly now I am going to rant.
First. The rave(ish). Last night after getting home from the fair, DH gave me a massage and rubbed my scalp / hair for a while to help me relax. It was awesome. Before there are too many 'awww, that's sweet!' from the audience, tho - I'm pretty sure that it was cause he had just a smidge too much beverage at the fair and was hoping he'd get some pre 6 week checkup action. Nope. I took that back massage and scalp rub like a boss and then laid down and closed my eyes, relaxed. Boom.
Rant - probably also due to the aforementioned too much beverage, he acted a little bent out of shape - not mad, just like 'why are we doing this now?' - when I told him to take LO and change him while I built my nighttime bf pillow fort. Yes, the kid was not awake. Yet. But the twilight was upon his quiet time, he was making noises and kicking and generally in the process of eventually wanting a change and food (gotta know those cues, man). So he changes him and goes right back to sleep while I am bfing. Really dude? This is literally the ONE night this whole week you are here to share the nighttime duties with me and you're going to be all petulant about the small task I give you, then go right back to sleep while I stay up? I know he can't do anything right now, but he could've talked with me for a while or something. I talk with him when he is giving a bottle. Well, the sleep joke is on him, cause I plan to wake his ass up again and have him make and give the bottle after I'm done here and rock / soothe LO back to dreamland after. I'll be damned if I take full responsibility the one night this week that I don't have to. Eff that noise.
SO lucky there are no sharp objects to hand. Its officially daytime now and homie is *still* acting like I'm being totally annoying when I poked him and told him to change LO. And then he went back to sleep AGAIN! Um, hello, the cats need to be fed and I'm certainly not going to get to do it anytime soon with a kid on my boob.
I'm going to wait until he is all the way back asleep deeply and then wake him again to ask him to get me something. I don't know what I 'need' yet, I'll think of something.
It must be in the air cause my DH who's normally annoying with how much he asks me what he can do for me was acting all annoyed when I woke him to change diapers. (It's our deal, he changes at night, I feed.) He's very lucky for the lack of sharp objects as well.
So on top of the two deaths this week, turns out DH grabbed the wrong suitcase yesterday. He took it to the airport today, and his suitcase hasn't been turned in (yet?). So his wardrobe, including suit needed for funerals is gone.
I am staying with the baby and my grandmother right now. DH just called and said the bag that contained my computer, our marriage certificate, birth certificates, social security cards, and LO's birth certificate is covered in coconut oil that exploded. I asked if the documents are ok and he said, "I didn't know they were in there. I'm not home, I just left it because I couldn't deal with one more thing right now."
A. Yes. He knew that was the "valuables" bag. Stress and sleep deprivation must have made him forget. But he knew. We discussed it 10x.
B. Why the F would he think "just leaving it" is the right thing to do? He didn't even open the F'ING bag.
C. I'm in the middle of family pandemonium, my uncle's girlfriend thought 7:00 pm on a Sunday was an appropriate funeral time, with the burial waiting til Tuesday... A screaming infant. A 96 year old grieving mother... And DH can't deal with coconut oil in a backpack?!
I'm not actually mad at him. I feel terrible for him. I'm just mad at the damn universe right now. And praying our documents are ok.
Life was so good 24 hours ago. We can't take much more of this. This latest episode is only Things, but it's just more stress. Ugh.
@virginiaunicorn11 when it rains it pours is right. But you should be due for some karmic balance here, shortly. Hopefully the pendulum will begin to swing that way when you discover your documents are all ok.
As expected my husband did not tell his mom the real reason we're not there. He told her I'm at my parents- making me seem inconsiderate and bitchy because she had checked with me if the day for them to come up was okay. I called her and told her everything. She was totally heart broken and started crying. I told her I had high hopes of things working out but it depends a lot on him. She cried the whole time and thanked me for being honest with her. It seemed like she understood where I am coming from. He is her son and she knows him well. She apologized even though she didn't have to. I feel bad that she is so upset but I am also relieved. I feel like I am finally not fighting this battle alone.
Sorry I'm putting my marital problems on blast. I'm really not ready to share with anyone in my real life and this is kind of a therapeutic outlet.
I'm going to rant for once..... Dude got home from his 4 day trip.... He has the crappiest friends and I always try to work around things so he can hang with them (these friends all have babies btw) .......... We supported all these friends and most of these have never even come to see our baby. So tonight I bring up how douchey they all are..... Oh man. He yelled at me.... Wtf. Can't handle the truth. Don't Yell at me...... So I'm not speaking to him until I receive an apology. Childish ? Yes. I so don't care.
Re: DH/SO rants and raves 7/20-7/26
grrrr.
Edit: spelling
What does this have to do with DH? Well, I mommy hate her. I have since I first got pregnant. Totally not her fault, just she seems so damned pinterest perfect and I knew from the beginning my being a mommy would be a hot mess. Anyway. DH told her about my struggles with supply. He's just looking out for us, and she is willing to give pointers, cause she is a good person like that. But, ugh. He discussed this with pinterest perfect mommy.
And, the other day he said he wondered if LO would do the laid back bf position now (we have never been able to make that position work) that he was stronger. I said I could try it, but not right then as I was sitting up straight and I would need to be slightly reclined. And he says 'well, when (pinterest perfect mommy) does it she is sitting up straight and just pops the kid on'. This, not more than 2 hours after we are purchasing diapers and he is saying 'the (pinterest perfect family) use cloth diapers, she (pinterest perfect mommy) says it saves them tons of money and isn't that hard'.
Thank you for constantly reminding me how much better this woman is at being a mommy than I. I'm so glad I have you here to tell me how much easier and happier I could be if I just did everything like that lady.
So far I have held my tongue, but one day its going to let fly and that day will probably not be pretty.
P.s. - in a week or so I'm supposed to have breakfast with this lady and all the other military spouses in town. Sounds like a real blast
This. My husband told me that it's easier for him this time around because he knows how to care for and love a baby. The learning curve was much longer for him than for me. He's always been a good dad and supportive partner but he's able to take initiative without direction this time around which makes it much easier on me.
Hang in there FTMs... Your partners will find niche with your LO.
Thank God my DH is just as sick of his mom as I am. He stood up for me telling her the benefits of breastfeeding and saying how proud he was that I'm doing it with twins. He kicked her out. The twins are almost 2 months and she hadn't attempted to see them since. Good ridden! Glad I have an amazing dh that stood up for me.
Last night DH told me to move LO, and the way he said it just made it seem like he needed a bit more room to get comfortable so i told him we cant move over anymore or ill be off the bed. but apparently he wanted me to move the baby to its crib or to the other side of me because he moves around in his sleep. so he is mad at me because i "got snarky" with him and i didnt understand what he meant.
sorry i cant read your mind dear.
and, he works at 1 and has been with LO for all of 10 minutes at most today, changing his diaper and burping him while i went pee. i can hearhim in the living room on his phone just playing games. so frustrating. after he was done changing LO last he was handed off with a "here's our kid" with a tone of "you deal with him"
ive also been trapped in the same spot for around 3 hours now and have yet to eat anything. but guess who went to the store and got food for himself..
You are stronger than I am! I would probably have thrown something and injured him if he went without getting me anything! You're the one who is stuck in the same spot and hasn't eaten! I'm sure given the situation was reversed, he would be screaming for food after an hour.
My rant...when DH decides 'you need to call -insert name of phone company here- about our bill Bc they sent me a text about our account' when you are holding a screaming and upset LO, and DH decides it needs to be done NOW, then leaves for work. Then calls you to see if you did it 10 mins later and you struggle to hear him over the screaming.
ETA autocorrect
I just don't get it! It seems pretty selfish to me...
Tho I must say in his defense, LO is asleep. This time. Not every time, tho
On a good note, he has gotten a little better about it this week. He said he feels awkward bc she can't respond/do much & I told him to just talk baby talk about what he's reading on Twitter as he scrolls & I showed him how she likes snuggles. He's only been alone with her while I shower/nap, so I think him watching her alone on my teacher work day will be helpful too.
I know this isn't much to rant about but when it's 5 days a week, I want a break to.
First. The rave(ish). Last night after getting home from the fair, DH gave me a massage and rubbed my scalp / hair for a while to help me relax. It was awesome. Before there are too many 'awww, that's sweet!' from the audience, tho - I'm pretty sure that it was cause he had just a smidge too much beverage at the fair and was hoping he'd get some pre 6 week checkup action. Nope. I took that back massage and scalp rub like a boss and then laid down and closed my eyes, relaxed. Boom.
Rant - probably also due to the aforementioned too much beverage, he acted a little bent out of shape - not mad, just like 'why are we doing this now?' - when I told him to take LO and change him while I built my nighttime bf pillow fort. Yes, the kid was not awake. Yet. But the twilight was upon his quiet time, he was making noises and kicking and generally in the process of eventually wanting a change and food (gotta know those cues, man). So he changes him and goes right back to sleep while I am bfing. Really dude? This is literally the ONE night this whole week you are here to share the nighttime duties with me and you're going to be all petulant about the small task I give you, then go right back to sleep while I stay up? I know he can't do anything right now, but he could've talked with me for a while or something. I talk with him when he is giving a bottle. Well, the sleep joke is on him, cause I plan to wake his ass up again and have him make and give the bottle after I'm done here and rock / soothe LO back to dreamland after. I'll be damned if I take full responsibility the one night this week that I don't have to. Eff that noise.
I'm going to wait until he is all the way back asleep deeply and then wake him again to ask him to get me something. I don't know what I 'need' yet, I'll think of something.
I am staying with the baby and my grandmother right now. DH just called and said the bag that contained my computer, our marriage certificate, birth certificates, social security cards, and LO's birth certificate is covered in coconut oil that exploded. I asked if the documents are ok and he said, "I didn't know they were in there. I'm not home, I just left it because I couldn't deal with one more thing right now."
A. Yes. He knew that was the "valuables" bag. Stress and sleep deprivation must have made him forget. But he knew. We discussed it 10x.
B. Why the F would he think "just leaving it" is the right thing to do? He didn't even open the F'ING bag.
C. I'm in the middle of family pandemonium, my uncle's girlfriend thought 7:00 pm on a Sunday was an appropriate funeral time, with the burial waiting til Tuesday... A screaming infant. A 96 year old grieving mother... And DH can't deal with coconut oil in a backpack?!
I'm not actually mad at him. I feel terrible for him. I'm just mad at the damn universe right now. And praying our documents are ok.
Life was so good 24 hours ago. We can't take much more of this. This latest episode is only Things, but it's just more stress. Ugh.
Sorry the universe seems to be kicking you in the ass right now. Better days must be ahead, right?
Sorry I'm putting my marital problems on blast. I'm really not ready to share with anyone in my real life and this is kind of a therapeutic outlet.
Dude got home from his 4 day trip....
He has the crappiest friends and I always try to work around things so he can hang with them (these friends all have babies btw) .......... We supported all these friends and most of these have never even come to see our baby. So tonight I bring up how douchey they all are..... Oh man. He yelled at me.... Wtf. Can't handle the truth. Don't Yell at me...... So I'm not speaking to him until I receive an apology. Childish ? Yes. I so don't care.
No regrets