I swear if DH takes an Ambien, sleeps all night, and complains about being tired the next day ONE MORE TIME... I an going to implode. You're tired? Shut your face. I'm a freaking living food truck for a tiny human who thinks it's hilarious to grab my nips with his little talons every two hours. He thinks he needs a nap... He needs body armor.
@virginiaunicorn11 what a terrible past few days you are having. I'm so sorry. Hopefully things will calm down soon and you can get into a nice groove here stateside. Welcome back and sorry for your loss
@mvargas12 I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this. We are here for you. I also use the ladies here as my therapy, I don't want to discuss my 'problems' with people I know, lol.
LO has been fussy and gassy for the past few hours. I fed him and put him down to sleep but ten minutes later he was crying again. DH keeps telling me in situations like this not to go to him, that he needs to learn to settle himself. I'm starting to get really annoyed at him for saying this. Firstly LO already settles really well at night, so this was out of the ordinary for him, meaning something is wrong. Secondly the way he says it, it's like DH thinks LO is just manipulating us by crying. He's 7 weeks old, his thought processes do not go that far. I ignored DH and went to tend to LO - who had spat up all over the crib and took a good 20 mins including a feed to calm down.
I'm also pissed at DHs constant complaints about LOs sleeping. For example yesterday he came home from work and told me that he met someone whose baby was the same age and slept for 4 hours in a row, and he'd been telling her how lucky she was. I had to point out that LO has consistently slept for a four and a half hour stretch for the last week. It mainly pisses me off because I handle all the nighttime stuff - so DH has no right to complain to me.
LO has been fussy and gassy for the past few hours. I fed him and put him down to sleep but ten minutes later he was crying again. DH keeps telling me in situations like this not to go to him, that he needs to learn to settle himself. I'm starting to get really annoyed at him for saying this. Firstly LO already settles really well at night, so this was out of the ordinary for him, meaning something is wrong. Secondly the way he says it, it's like DH thinks LO is just manipulating us by crying. He's 7 weeks old, his thought processes do not go that far. I ignored DH and went to tend to LO - who had spat up all over the crib and took a good 20 mins including a feed to calm down.
I'm also pissed at DHs constant complaints about LOs sleeping. For example yesterday he came home from work and told me that he met someone whose baby was the same age and slept for 4 hours in a row, and he'd been telling her how lucky she was. I had to point out that LO has consistently slept for a four and a half hour stretch for the last week. It mainly pisses me off because I handle all the nighttime stuff - so DH has no right to complain to me.
Oh I hear ya on this! SO bragged the other day about doing the early shift (7am) I had to remind him of already been up at 1am, 3am & 5am. Thank god LO is now sleeping roughly 4hours. Which again he wouldn't know cause he doesn't even sleep in the same room as us! Sharp objects will be getting used soon. Hide your chef knives babe!!!
@mvargas12 you shouldn't feel bad for discussing this with us, it's not good to keep these things bottled up. I just hate that your having to put up with this.
I have a rave- Wednesday night LO only slept in 20 min intervals and then stayed up for an hour between his naps meaning momma got 0 sleep, last night LO was doing the same thing and DH took over for majority of the night so I could get at least a little rest
My DH nthinks I have PPD because the last two weekends I've flipped on him about doing things alone and my job of taking care of the baby not ending. I think I finally figured out why it happened...i hate weekends. My DH works just as hard as me during the week but the weekend comes and I keep working hard and he does nothing. I am cooking, feeding the baby, typing and telling the dog to hold on to go out...my DH is upstairs planning his all night WOW binge with his brother. I will still do baby stuff all night, i will be exhausted tomorrow bc of it. So will he...but bc he was up literally til dawn playing video games and drinking. It's not PPD....I'm pissed at you. Get a clue!
First I have to say my husband is super supportive and great about helping out...
That being said, he is stuck at work right now. Totally not his fault, but his two best friends are coming over tonight. They will be in the garage playing darts and ping pong till God knows what time, which means I'll be flying solo tonight and probably a lot of tomorrow. The thought of this makes me want to cry because I'm exhausted and DH usually does bedtime. I know I'm bring a brat about this, especially since one of his friends doesn't live here, which is why I'm venting here and not to DH.
Rant: So ticked off with my husband. I'm on maternity leave and he's working. I'm breastfeeding and doing all nighttime feeds/changes/fussy times with the baby since DH is working. We had it out tonight bc he's "exhausted" again and I don't understand bc he has to work and he still hears the baby cry at night. I take the baby downstairs for every feed so I don't keep him up. I have asked repeatedly if he wants me to sleep in the guest bedroom downstairs but he says no. I'm not getting any naps during the day and I'm soooo sleep deprived but he's exhausted. He then told me I'm crazy bc I don't have any empathy. He infuriates me sometimes.
DH always seems to be gone when LO is having his fussy "cant decide if he wants boob, to be on my chest or sitting up straight" time its frustrating to the point where i almost started crying. usually he is actually at work but today he is just out with his friends. and its just so frustrating. it almost feels like im doing this alone.
its very hot outside so im a little concerned with that. im worried he would roast with me holding him if i was to just take him out on the patio (there is also a tripping hazard) and its almost impossible for me to just take him out for a walk, as there is like 25 steps to go down and i would need to take the stroller down then go back up for LO in the carseat (we have a travel system) and i dont have a carrier yet because its hot out and im hoping to wait till LO is bigger and i can avoid getting an infant insert. as the carrier im looking at is almost $200.
so unfortunately if i did take him outside it would just be me holding him still.
sidenote: sorry i got so off main topic, im very tired.
@JessHeppell you need to get a boba wrap. It's really lightweight fabric. It's only 40 dollars. When we have tried everything with our baby and can't get him to calm/sleep..... The boba works amazing.
I just keep hearing LO spazzing out on the monitor while DH tries to get him to sleep......... Been listening for an hour. Ugh. Can't sleep but also don't want to go "rescue" DH because he can/needs to handle this for entire night shifts I will be working soon.
@JessHeppell you need to get a boba wrap. It's really lightweight fabric. It's only 40 dollars. When we have tried everything with our baby and can't get him to calm/sleep..... The boba works amazing.
even in light fabric i overheat/sweat like crazy. so having a baby on me and extra layers is not ideal. i was sweating in the creases on my elbows earlier just from a small stroll around town. and the $200 one is quite good. my older sister has one and is in love with it (and she has had several carriers) but she also still has her old ones so i may see if i can buy one off her. and the $200 one would be for when i want to go out for walks with LO once it cools down a bit. not necessarily just around the house/trying to get him to sleep.
Finding myself slightly annoyed that I have to be up for the day starting at LO's 430a feed so I can then pump, shower and get dressed. All while DH is now snoozing after his 620a alarm goes off. Yes I know you have to work today, but so do I! And you don't have to chase around a 2 yo with a baby on your boob.
As I'm feeding baby again, he tells me he is having a hard time getting up... Really?
I know how you feel... We stay up late with our LO while the DH gets to go to bed early; we wake up super early to tend to LO needs while the DH is sound asleep. Oh yeah and when the DH gets home they don't give us a break cause they are "tired"...... And then you think the weekend is coming! I can finally get a break!! NOPE... DH wakes up early in the morning to take off and do what ever he pleases and enjoys his weekend... Did he forget he has a wife and newborn at home???
SO had me and baby go out for a few hours because he said he wanted to "deep clean the apartment". Great. I don't want to clean so go nuts.. We went to my parents for a few hours, came home to him playing video games and nothing was remotely cleaned. I asked what he did and he said he "organized". Sorry hunny, but taking smaller gift bags and putting them into a bigger gift bag does not qualify "deep cleaning". So now I get to clean, but who doesn't love scrubbing bathrooms..
He also had the audacity recently to tell his mom that the baby is sleeping through the night. Uhh no. YOU are sleeping through the night, mommy and baby are still up for several hours at a time.. Just because you are somehow capable of tuning out baby's noises or me crying does not mean that the baby is sleeping!
He tries, he really does. But sometimes I just want to punch him a little.
So we recently relocated to Florida... I was very excited to come down here...from PA. Well it's been three weeks and I'm not impressed. DH was promised a job from his cousin when we get here his cousin says no I hired someone. We were living in a hotel for the first week. Now we are staying in a temporary housing situation. Well I have two girls who are in school and I can't register them without a lease and a permanent address! This housing is only available to us until December, who wants to move around the holidays? Not I!! But I seem to be the only one concerned with this. I have been looking for places to live and he is no help! He is gone all day at his new job that he found. But he is in training and they don't pay for that! So here's to another week of not getting paid! Then he comes home and wonders why I haven't taken a shower when I am EBF DS and taking care of our two DDs. But he comes in pees, eats and showers maybe, then goes to bed!
DH was supposed to go out of town again this am.... And it got canceled. Well after our poop fiasco I was exhausted ..... And I just said you go have fun with your friends tonight.... Why am I so nice? F that.
Every time someone asks DH if he wants to do something or if we do he goes "ask the wife" Or "I'll have to see what th wife says" Great thanks for making me the bad guy. And secondly you should know how to answer when someone asks if you or both of us want to go out or hang out at someone's house all night. That doesn't work anymore buddy!
Every time someone asks DH if he wants to do something or if we do he goes "ask the wife" Or "I'll have to see what th wife says" Great thanks for making me the bad guy. And secondly you should know how to answer when someone asks if you or both of us want to go out or hang out at someone's house all night. That doesn't work anymore buddy!
Every time someone asks DH if he wants to do something or if we do he goes "ask the wife" Or "I'll have to see what th wife says" Great thanks for making me the bad guy. And secondly you should know how to answer when someone asks if you or both of us want to go out or hang out at someone's house all night. That doesn't work anymore buddy!
This ^^ my DH's friends sometimes even call me directly for permission...what am I supposed to say!?! Makes me the bad guy every time!
This is completely unsolicited advice, but I would recommend trying to get out of the house with LO, even if it's just a couple hours to another friend's house. You're not going to be out drinking all night, but if you think being social is tough now, wait until they're old enough for a set bedtime.
If DH wants to go out drinking alone - hell no. I'm usually the bad guy but I don't care. We host plenty of happy hours at our house as a compromise.
Well im stabby...... DH promised to get up with the baby all night..... He has to be literally hit to wake up because he doesn't hear him on the monitor and then he got all frustrated when the feeding, sleep routine took an hour..... Really buddy ?! An hour. Some nights it takes me 2-2.5. Suck it up. He came in the bedroom all "he won't sleep?!?!" Yeah. That's pretty much the norm sir. Get used to it. I go back to work at the end of the month and your overnights are going to be just that.... Yours!
DH was supposed to go out of town again this am.... And it got canceled. Well after our poop fiasco I was exhausted ..... And I just said you go have fun with your friends tonight.... Why am I so nice? F that.
I think it's because we are playing the "long game", sigh. I apologized for something yesterday I wasn't sorry about (asking DH to do the 4 am feeding). I made it 7 hours before giving into an apology and only because it was clear DH wasn't going to get over it and it was going to become a Big Deal.
Yesterday started off a mess. I came home and the house smelled like SHIT. My husband works across the street and couldn't find time to come let the dog out. Not even during lunch. Then he'd come home, take her out, and leave for God knows how long. Layla pooped and peed in the house endlessly, according to the smell. Don't forget, his grandparents were on their way over. I was furious that I had so much cleaning to do with only an hour to do it. I think I was able to neutralize the smell a little bit.
Oh, and then the bank where he works got robbed. (Not his fault, just adds a little excitement to the day).
After that, we had a good day. We hung out with his grandparents and dad and we all went out to eat. We were civil and it was nice spending time with everyone.
He, too, offered to care for the baby at night but Didn't wake up once. It is what it is.
It's so annoying when husbands don't get up or hear the baby! How do you not hear the fussing, grunting, and a lot of times the screaming?! I don't get how they can sleep Through that. Or if I do get DH awake he takes 5 minutes to get out of bed because he's so slow! DH in my book does not stand for "darling husband" it stands for "damn husband"
It's so annoying when husbands don't get up or hear the baby! How do you not hear the fussing, grunting, and a lot of times the screaming?! I don't get how they can sleep Through that. Or if I do get DH awake he takes 5 minutes to get out of bed because he's so slow! DH in my book does not stand for "darling husband" it stands for "damn husband"
My husband showed me an article on Facebook that said men actually don't hear babies fussing like mothers do! It was talking about primal reflexes that men hear sounds that signal danger like breaking in or something but not babies crying. True or not? I don't know but he doesn't hear our baby cry and he's next to our bed. He asked me this am if the baby cried last night lol.
It's so annoying when husbands don't get up or hear the baby! How do you not hear the fussing, grunting, and a lot of times the screaming?! I don't get how they can sleep Through that. Or if I do get DH awake he takes 5 minutes to get out of bed because he's so slow! DH in my book does not stand for "darling husband" it stands for "damn husband"
My husband showed me an article on Facebook that said men actually don't hear babies fussing like mothers do! It was talking about primal reflexes that men hear sounds that signal danger like breaking in or something but not babies crying. True or not? I don't know but he doesn't hear our baby cry and he's next to our bed. He asked me this am if the baby cried last night lol.
There might be something to this. I was up the other night with LO and was burping him, and LO burped AND spat up a large amount of formula AND at the same time managed to hiccup. The result was that LO brought up a bunch of stuff with his burp but then almost immediately sucked some back in with the hiccup. LO was spluttering and kinda gaspy and it would have been scary if it had continued, but I could see he just needed a minute (like when we swallow and it goes down the wrong pipe). But all the same I was asking LO "Are you all right? Are you OK?" in my nighttime voice (softly, just next to a whisper, not shouting or even in a normal tone of voice) and DH (who had been sleeping thru the whole feeding, including the crying sessions when I take the bottle away to burp) sprang up suddenly and spun around to look at us 'is he OK? What happened?'
So clearly his brain processed my asking LO if he was OK and he responded. So here was a potential risk to safety or life with us and he went from totally passed out to alert and ready to spring into action
ETA they could still not be dicks about being woken up when we wake them to have them take care of something, tho (diaper change, make a bottle). We deserve that, by the gods
It's so annoying when husbands don't get up or hear the baby! How do you not hear the fussing, grunting, and a lot of times the screaming?! I don't get how they can sleep Through that. Or if I do get DH awake he takes 5 minutes to get out of bed because he's so slow! DH in my book does not stand for "darling husband" it stands for "damn husband"
My husband showed me an article on Facebook that said men actually don't hear babies fussing like mothers do! It was talking about primal reflexes that men hear sounds that signal danger like breaking in or something but not babies crying. True or not? I don't know but he doesn't hear our baby cry and he's next to our bed. He asked me this am if the baby cried last night lol.
DH definitely doesn't hear LO. I can be up and down the hall before he realizes what is going on. I had to explain to him how I hear EVERY noise the baby makes and her farts literally wake me up. Now if he takes the night shift, he takes LO to the guest room and I sleep in our sound proofed room. Otherwise I still don't sleep.
Re: DH/SO rants and raves 7/20-7/26
I'm all "whatchyou talkin bout EYEBROWS...."
Hugs gal. I hope things improve for you
I'm also pissed at DHs constant complaints about LOs sleeping. For example yesterday he came home from work and told me that he met someone whose baby was the same age and slept for 4 hours in a row, and he'd been telling her how lucky she was. I had to point out that LO has consistently slept for a four and a half hour stretch for the last week. It mainly pisses me off because I handle all the nighttime stuff - so DH has no right to complain to me.
@klkonwi no no no, no yelling [-X
I have a rave- Wednesday night LO only slept in 20 min intervals and then stayed up for an hour between his naps meaning momma got 0 sleep, last night LO was doing the same thing and DH took over for majority of the night so I could get at least a little rest
That being said, he is stuck at work right now. Totally not his fault, but his two best friends are coming over tonight. They will be in the garage playing darts and ping pong till God knows what time, which means I'll be flying solo tonight and probably a lot of tomorrow. The thought of this makes me want to cry because I'm exhausted and DH usually does bedtime. I know I'm bring a brat about this, especially since one of his friends doesn't live here, which is why I'm venting here and not to DH.
so unfortunately if i did take him outside it would just be me holding him still.
sidenote: sorry i got so off main topic, im very tired.
Ugh. Can't sleep but also don't want to go "rescue" DH because he can/needs to handle this for entire night shifts I will be working soon.
and the $200 one would be for when i want to go out for walks with LO once it cools down a bit. not necessarily just around the house/trying to get him to sleep.
As I'm feeding baby again, he tells me he is having a hard time getting up... Really?
He also had the audacity recently to tell his mom that the baby is sleeping through the night. Uhh no. YOU are sleeping through the night, mommy and baby are still up for several hours at a time.. Just because you are somehow capable of tuning out baby's noises or me crying does not mean that the baby is sleeping!
He tries, he really does. But sometimes I just want to punch him a little.
Ugh, I want to go back home! ;-/
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@scorredor2 moving is already annoying and stressful. Sorry you have to deal with more! Is training for his new job done soon?
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F that.
Or "I'll have to see what th wife says"
Great thanks for making me the bad guy. And secondly you should know how to answer when someone asks if you or both of us want to go out or hang out at someone's house all night. That doesn't work anymore buddy!
If DH wants to go out drinking alone - hell no. I'm usually the bad guy but I don't care. We host plenty of happy hours at our house as a compromise.
He came in the bedroom all "he won't sleep?!?!"
Yeah. That's pretty much the norm sir. Get used to it. I go back to work at the end of the month and your overnights are going to be just that.... Yours!
Oh, and then the bank where he works got robbed. (Not his fault, just adds a little excitement to the day).
After that, we had a good day. We hung out with his grandparents and dad and we all went out to eat. We were civil and it was nice spending time with everyone.
He, too, offered to care for the baby at night but Didn't wake up once. It is what it is.
Through that. Or if I do get DH awake he takes 5 minutes to get out of bed because he's so slow!
DH in my book does not stand for "darling husband" it stands for "damn husband"
So clearly his brain processed my asking LO if he was OK and he responded. So here was a potential risk to safety or life with us and he went from totally passed out to alert and ready to spring into action
ETA they could still not be dicks about being woken up when we wake them to have them take care of something, tho (diaper change, make a bottle). We deserve that, by the gods