Whoa @DolphinLover2002 - that is insane!!! Sadly for me, my husband gave house keys out to anyone who would take one...so MIL is all ready to barge in as she pleases...I have no escape. The worst part is that our house renovation is not done yet so I have to bring baby home to my in laws until it's complete
My in laws keep asking for a key to our new house. They are both the type who would just use it to come in whether we're here or not. I keep conveniently "forgetting" to give them a key whenever they leave
@amy4516 mine doesn't do that, but she did refer to herself as LO's mom which really pissed me off. She must have felt the darts I was throwing at her with my eyes because she only did that once.
This is one of my favorite threads because it's like morning talk shows with the crazy and the drama. (On the MIL side, not you ladies.)
I find I don't mind people who call LO "my baby" or "our baby" if I like the person. If I don't, it bothers me. However, absolutely no one but me gets to say they're his mama. That would make me really mad. But who does that?! It's a pretty dick move, and I can't see it as anything but either incredibly passive aggressive or incredibly ignorant.
We are spending three months this winter in our hometown, living with my parents and MIL (bouncing between their houses). I am sure I will revive this thread then, and find it all a lot less amusing!!!
I think I said it before (but how can anyone remember anything at 3 am with a milking machine attached to them) but while I feel bad for all of the rest of you with crazy in-laws, I'm glad I'm not alone!
@virginiaunicorn11 I felt the same way. Not too weirded out by anyone I generally liked saying things, & I think my MIL hung the moon. I love her to death, but when they got here, I had PLENTY to post. Mostly getting the, "I raised 4 awesome kids/they survived, calm down" type things. Looking back, I'm so thankful they were here to help! My mom is pretty chill with LO. She has her moments, but she knows boundaries. Some of y'all, Lord help you.
My MIL spends money shopping like no other. I don't mean to sound ungrateful and realize most grandparents love to spoil, Our DD is the first girl for her (she has two sons) but all she is doing is buying the ugliest outfits ever. It's getting excessive and both DH and I tell her half the stuff we'll never put her in. I'm not a ruffle, big bow, hot pink type of girl and that's all she's buying and she knows it's not me at all yet she does it anyways. I'd rather the money go to college or something. Our home also isn't the largest and we keep gettinrbg so much crap from her. I have an elephant play mat from PBK and she went to get another that has "pink" on it (we were team green so we don't have much girly stuff for a reason!)
@slr1229 this was totally my MIL with DD! She had 2 sons and always wanted a daughter and when we had our first and found out it was a girl she went into overload and bought TONS of stuff. Every single time they came over to visit (a couple times a week) she would bring 3-4 outfits so each week we'd get anywhere from 6-12 outfits. A week. It was ridiculous and we only lived in a 2 bedroom apt at that time so space was filling up fast. DH and I told her many many times to please stop but she didn't. It was finally when she saw some of the clothing she bought with the tags still on them in the donate pile she slowed down. We were grateful that we didn't have to buy much but it got out of control! Now every time she buys something for DS, DD also gets something #-o
Everytime we get together with my mom, step mom, or MIL they don't listen to anything we say about our daughter. Like when feeding her you have to keep her upright for 30 minutes and keep her in a relatively stationary position. Like you can't jostle her around or she will spit up. And when you burp her you have to use a little force to get the burps out and of course none of the mothers follow that at all! They sit there and play with her while burping her and then she ends up spitting up the whole dang bottle. Ugh it drives me nuts and also worries me about them babysitting.
My whole kitchen organizational structure is destroyed. And I *cannot* find various items (a skillet, the perfect sized Tupperware tub, the good pair of tongs are among the missing right now) since my mom had been 'cleaning' the kitchen despite my insistence she not do that. And if I called her and asked her where she put them she won't remember.
I'm probably am going to have to buy new tongs :-??
@mellymar It is good practice for when you have a toddler. You won't be able to find what you need but you'll find the most random crap in the most random places. Where's the salad spinner? Check the bathtub.
My MIL is coming to see my LO for the first time. She hasn't talked to her son in almost 6 months and the first thing she asks is "can I see my grandchild and can you find me a hotel?" That's the reason he hadn't talked to you for 6 months- because you make your problems his problems because you do not know how to be a grown up. (That is only a minuscule example of the manipulating and lying she had done over the past decade, but a simple example). So now she is coming and they are not on speaking terms so I'm stuck in the middle to entertain this woman. I'm glad she is coming but I am too sleep deprived to have to deal with their drama. Plus, she is trying to text me when she is landing but cannot text any normal sentences. It's like trying to decipher hieroglyphics. Uggggghhhhhhhh!! Plus I'm going to have to set all the boundaries with her because I'm the only level-headed, reasonable person in the dynamic. ......me so stabby......
My FIL is the issue for me. DS was born on a Monday, that Friday he told us we needed to start trying for a 2nd baby in 3 months so that our kids would be a year apart and play on the same sports teams. A few days later he said 6 months. Then this morning when the whole family was out for DH'S grandma's birthday he started telling the whole family he was ready for another grandbaby (DS will be 5 weeks old tomorrow) and telling me we needed to have our kids a year apart so they could wear each other's clothes and be on the same teams. What if the second kid is a girl? What if they don't have the same interests? Then he told me he was going to save up money and pay for me to go back to college to be a teacher "so I can have summers off to take care of my kids". I have a degree and I like what I do, I don't want to be a teacher. How about you let me recover from my c section and enjoy the baby I have now? And maybe let me decide if I want a different career? If he does it again I may lose it on him. Worry about yourself and stop trying to tell us how to live our lives.
Why do MIL's think holding LO while they sleep is helping? That's the easy part.
My MIL stayed for the weekend and I'm so sick of baby talk and pictures. She takes pictures of EVERYTHING. I just want to enjoy one freaking moment without a picture being taken. I think she's posted 20 pictures of LO on Facebook in the last 2 days. Stopppp. Just stop.
Bonus: I look like shit in all the pictures because I'm the only one who doesn't get enough time to get all pretty every day. I get half a shower and no time to do my hair.
I can't wait for her to leave so we can just relax and have a normal day. With no pictures. Blah.
My MIL did that and tagged me in all these photos in my PJs less than a week PP. DH told her not to do that, and she got all offended and explained to me why I shouldn't be upset about it because it got so many Likes.
Our parents' generation is out of control with FB. It's insane.
In the hospital, right after my csection, she begged my fiancé to wake me up to post a picture on Facebook. Only so she could start posting because she just couldn't wait. If he would've woken me up for that I would have definitely murdered him.
Did I already post that the Mothers of two friends (read: no relation!!) posted when I was in labor (which we were not sharing, and my family didn't even know) and then posted that baby was born, and posted his name?! Apparently DH told his friends, who told their moms. They pre-empted me on my own kid's announcement! And my parents were mad because they'd been told they couldn't post yet (they were dying to), and these moms tagged my parents in their posts!!
It makes me laugh now, but only barely. Much more stabby. Those friends were told they're responsible for their moms and if it happens again, everyone is blocked!
Meanwhile, my father is on Instagram and I keep coming across pics of LO that I've sent him. SMH. Again, stabby laughter...
My mom posted LO's name and sex when I specifically asked her not to. It's like they're addicts! I have to constantly check up on them to see what kind of drama is happening. It's enough to make me want to delete my Facebook all together.
Crazy menopausal grandmas on Facebook are the worst.
Ha my parents and parents in law have been good re: Facebook but my grandma keeps trying to tag herself and friends in my LO photos when she really just means to "share" them. Sigh. I just keep declining tags all day long and hope she doesn't notice.
So my MIL is here and was telling me my boobs don't look too engorged. Then, she proceeded to reach over and push on them. You guys, she groped me. I feel so dirty. I was too shocked to say anything.
Thank to good Lord for my parents or I would be going nuts! My MIL thinks LO is so breakable and I can't do anything right. He eats too often, is too hot in what I put him in, etc. Oh, and the baby talk....makes me crazy! Don't get me wrong, I baby talk LO sometimes, but she even baby talks adults if the baby is in the room. Like her brain goes to mush and she can't process adult interactions. And the eye rolls I get from her when I don't do something she thinks I should. It's bad, but I must admit, I am starting to find a small bit of joy in making her crazy with my parenting decisions. If I don't laugh at it, I will go crazy. We had a sip and see for him over the weekend and she told me I am not allowed to hold him because he needs to visit everyone...so she takes him from me and holds him almost the whole time...um, hello, you see him more than the guests here...if I can't hold him, you can't either. Then he cries whenever she takes him and only gets soothed with me. It drives her crazy...she just hovers over my shoulder and stares at him the whole time telling me to give him back as soon as he falls asleep. I was going craaaaazy. When we got back to their house, I hid in the guest room with LO and we took a nice looooooooong nap.
So my MIL is here and was telling me my boobs don't look too engorged. Then, she proceeded to reach over and push on them. You guys, she groped me. I feel so dirty. I was too shocked to say anything.
My SIL keeps telling me how big my boobs have gotten...I am oh so close to snapping back with "at least they aren't tiny like yours!" Childish, I know, but after the 1,000th time of being told how big they are, I don't care.
Thank to good Lord for my parents or I would be going nuts! My MIL thinks LO is so breakable and I can't do anything right. He eats too often, is too hot in what I put him in, etc. Oh, and the baby talk....makes me crazy! Don't get me wrong, I baby talk LO sometimes, but she even baby talks adults if the baby is in the room. Like her brain goes to mush and she can't process adult interactions. And the eye rolls I get from her when I don't do something she thinks I should. It's bad, but I must admit, I am starting to find a small bit of joy in making her crazy with my parenting decisions. If I don't laugh at it, I will go crazy. We had a sip and see for him over the weekend and she told me I am not allowed to hold him because he needs to visit everyone...so she takes him from me and holds him almost the whole time...um, hello, you see him more than the guests here...if I can't hold him, you can't either. Then he cries whenever she takes him and only gets soothed with me. It drives her crazy...she just hovers over my shoulder and stares at him the whole time telling me to give him back as soon as he falls asleep. I was going craaaaazy. When we got back to their house, I hid in the guest room with LO and we took a nice looooooooong nap.
I'd be pissed if anyone told me I couldn't hold my baby. No no, I can. YOU can't.
Lurking here from A15, hope you don't mind! I'll be a FTM in less than 2 weeks so I thought it would be helpful to see how things are going for you ladies. MIL threads get me every time!
My MIL is overbearing but hid it until I got into the third trimester. She is in the childcare field (3-5 year olds) so thinks she knows absolutely everything about raising a newborn. I will give it to her that she did have three children, however the last time she took care of an infant was 20+ years ago. My baby isn't even here and she's already making me feel defensive about my parenting decisions. 1. She told me having a breast pump isn't the same as breast-feeding. No shit but what does she think I'm going to do when I go back to work? 2. She keeps insisting that having a changing pad on top of the dresser in lieu of a changing table is dangerous to the baby. Clearly she thinks I plan on walking away from my child mid-diaper change. 3. When she found out I have a backup store of formula in the event I'm unable to breast-feed: "oh, that's bad." 4. Says my baby will have diaper rash because I'm not cloth diapering like she did with DH. 5. Ask DH if my breasts have leaked at all and when he said they hadn't she said that means I'm nowhere near labor. Some women start leaking in the second trimester. Does that mean they're near labor? Idiot.
I told DH that I'm really going to need his backup if she continues this once my baby's here. He doesn't think it'll be a problem but I feel differently. Especially after reading everyone's posts! I'm so nervous at the prospect of having to defend my parenting decisions to her while trying to figure everything out in the first place! I don't want to be one of those women who keeps their MIL away from their grandchildren because they can't handle the bs anymore. I want her to be actively involved but in a grandmother fashion. Not in trying to raise my LO for me or in hovering over my baby when I'm trying to get everything figured out!!
Reading this thread has officially given me anxiety lol
my MIL posted on facebook when our LO was born too.. like a few minutes after DH called her. i dont even know what she said cause im not following her.. but shes just an idiot, she thinks ketchup is all natural.. she has no sense of boundaries, and is just unaware of how to act around people.
my MIL posted on facebook when our LO was born too.. like a few minutes after DH called her. i dont even know what she said cause im not following her.. but shes just an idiot, she thinks ketchup is all natural.. she has no sense of boundaries, and is just unaware of how to act around people.
edit: add spaces
Loling at the ketchup part.
FIL did the same thing.. Infuriating. You guys are right, their generation is out of control!
DH uttered the cursed words today "let's go see mom!" It was aweful! She invited the whole family down to see "her baby" and none of them knew how to shut up or to at least use inside voices as they all talked at the top of their lungs in a small space preventing LO from taking a nap. DH young neice stayed in LO face the whole time (LO gets cranky when people stay right in his face) and when he asked her to not crowd him so much MIL told him to shut up and the told the neice to sit on her lap while she held LO. Lo-and l-behold LO got upset and cried until he was losing his breath before she would finally give him back to me so I could calm him; after 5min of me telling her to give him to me. Then as we were leaving she looked at LO and said "I hope you sleep all the way home so you can keep mommy up all night" it took everything in me to not go off on her.
Then as we were leaving she looked at LO and said "I hope you sleep all the way home so you can keep mommy up all night" it took everything in me to not go off on her.
Whoa. So NOT cool. I would not have blamed you if you had gone off on her. Smh...
Thank you @mvargas12@mellymar and @rrcameron21 I told DH about it a few minutes ago since he wasn't around to hear her say it and he is pissed. He's going back to her house tomorrow to talk to her about how she's been acting; I'm glad I have someone to back me on these things.
Re: mil problems...post them here
I find I don't mind people who call LO "my baby" or "our baby" if I like the person. If I don't, it bothers me. However, absolutely no one but me gets to say they're his mama. That would make me really mad. But who does that?! It's a pretty dick move, and I can't see it as anything but either incredibly passive aggressive or incredibly ignorant.
We are spending three months this winter in our hometown, living with my parents and MIL (bouncing between their houses). I am sure I will revive this thread then, and find it all a lot less amusing!!!
I think I said it before (but how can anyone remember anything at 3 am with a milking machine attached to them) but while I feel bad for all of the rest of you with crazy in-laws, I'm glad I'm not alone!
My mom is pretty chill with LO. She has her moments, but she knows boundaries.
Some of y'all, Lord help you.
Vent sesh over
I'm probably am going to have to buy new tongs :-??
Edited, words
Our parents' generation is out of control with FB. It's insane.
It makes me laugh now, but only barely. Much more stabby. Those friends were told they're responsible for their moms and if it happens again, everyone is blocked!
Meanwhile, my father is on Instagram and I keep coming across pics of LO that I've sent him. SMH. Again, stabby laughter...
My mom posted LO's name and sex when I specifically asked her not to. It's like they're addicts! I have to constantly check up on them to see what kind of drama is happening. It's enough to make me want to delete my Facebook all together.
Crazy menopausal grandmas on Facebook are the worst.
Stab stab stab
My MIL is overbearing but hid it until I got into the third trimester. She is in the childcare field (3-5 year olds) so thinks she knows absolutely everything about raising a newborn. I will give it to her that she did have three children, however the last time she took care of an infant was 20+ years ago. My baby isn't even here and she's already making me feel defensive about my parenting decisions.
1. She told me having a breast pump isn't the same as breast-feeding. No shit but what does she think I'm going to do when I go back to work?
2. She keeps insisting that having a changing pad on top of the dresser in lieu of a changing table is dangerous to the baby. Clearly she thinks I plan on walking away from my child mid-diaper change.
3. When she found out I have a backup store of formula in the event I'm unable to breast-feed: "oh, that's bad."
4. Says my baby will have diaper rash because I'm not cloth diapering like she did with DH.
5. Ask DH if my breasts have leaked at all and when he said they hadn't she said that means I'm nowhere near labor. Some women start leaking in the second trimester. Does that mean they're near labor? Idiot.
I told DH that I'm really going to need his backup if she continues this once my baby's here. He doesn't think it'll be a problem but I feel differently. Especially after reading everyone's posts! I'm so nervous at the prospect of having to defend my parenting decisions to her while trying to figure everything out in the first place! I don't want to be one of those women who keeps their MIL away from their grandchildren because they can't handle the bs anymore. I want her to be actively involved but in a grandmother fashion. Not in trying to raise my LO for me or in hovering over my baby when I'm trying to get everything figured out!!
Reading this thread has officially given me anxiety lol
edit: add spaces
FIL did the same thing.. Infuriating. You guys are right, their generation is out of control!
Edit for typos