Stop the Bitchiness

DeeGreer · June 2015

EVERYONE IS RUDE! YOUR OPINION IS RUDE! YOUR FACES ARE RUDE! EVERYONE HERE IS A BIG MEAN BULLY. womp womp. I like that we have so many differing opinions. I don't like overly sensitive posts. Like this one. There I said it. And now I'm going back to real life to be a real bully instead of just on the bump. :P

tate62610 · June 2015

Ehem @DeeGreer you must pay the bunny tax

MariahOBrien · June 2015

eeeep

DeeGreer · June 2015

@tate62610 I tried to find a bunny but this made me giggle!

tate62610 · June 2015

@MariahOBrien ooooooooomgggggg I just died. Those cheeks

MariahOBrien · June 2015

DeeGreer said:
EVERYONE IS RUDE! YOUR OPINION IS RUDE! YOUR FACES ARE RUDE! EVERYONE HERE IS A BIG MEAN BULLY. womp womp. I like that we have so many differing opinions. I don't like overly sensitive posts. Like this one. There I said it. And now I'm going back to real life to be a real bully instead of just on the bump. :P

I've just been itching to leave this somewhere. Seems like a good spot.

jenn2132 · June 2015

Well aren't you cute?

jefinley1 · June 2015

Ok wow, so I go to bed and this happens. I'm sorry this is long, and I know people have already made great points, but this whole thing really disturbed me.

So I would like to speak as a representative of those pathetic, all alone, no support system nearby pregnant women. I feel like I should fit this demographic nicely: I moved last year to a city that I hate, far from my parents and all of my friends, none of whom are pregnant. My husband travels about 70% of the time and works like crazy when he's home. I also never actually know when that might be. The only people I do know near me are my MIL and SIL who generally have either no interest in getting to know me or in the case of my MIL have been openly hostile. Is that pitiable enough for me to be credible?

This BMB can sometimes be my only sanity check. Which is why I like the honesty, and while I don't comment on it, I do get fed up with the dozen posts in a week about stretch marks, or how someone made a rude comment, or "do you, random group of strangers, like this baby name, but oh, I'm never actually going to respond to your questions when you try to help me out." I lurked for a while before jumping in, and I don't really start discussions, as everything I could possibly dream of posting has already been started, generally within the past week. I don't even have to use the search function (although I occasionally will with medical questions). If it is a symptom I'm not sure of, I generally would prefer to google and check out an answer on the Mayo Clinic site. If I just want to whine about said symptom, there is almost always some type of whine about your issues thread. I like when other people jump in and say, "hey we literally just had a thread on this/ there is already one going," because I genuinely cannot comprehend how figuring that out is so hard, and it is actually more fun for everyone, including the OP of the repeat thread, if it's all in one place.

The only time I have seen people be "*itchy" (Didn't we literally just have an adorable conversation about this word and the context it's generally used in in UO yesterday? Maybe this is all just one big compliment...) is when they:

a) Post a specific question, don't like the feedback or direct answers, then start attacking the responders. This will make me mad even when I agree with the OP. To me, it is representative of the dumbing down of society in which intelligent people are censored because there is a fear their insight will hurt others' feelings or get them in trouble.

b) Cannot accept that it is okay for people to disagree with them as long as the disagreement is well articulated and well thought.

c) Make fly-by comments that are not helpful to anyone, and intentionally mock.

d) Continue to argue with people giving well thought out responses when clearly they have not read or comprehended those responses.

With that said, sometimes you just have to let things roll off your back (I know I certainly do), or if it really bothers you, address it directly so that the person who actually offended you knows who you are talking about and everyone else knows they're all good. When you make a post like this, it makes people like us, who are generally really nice and try to be helpful, think we're being called out as mean for our honesty. It's pretty passive aggressive, and while I am the first person to call out a bully, and probably one of the more sensitive people on here, I consider it unproductive and underhanded to not just do it directly. I would love to agree with you on generally wanting the whole world to be nicer. But since I don't actually know what or who you consider mean, I can't.

Blinkbaby · June 2015

I think for the *most part people in here are pretty alright. I try to take into consideration that we're all uncomfortable, hot, sweaty, fat with amped up hormones, swollen ankles and sore backs....which would make anyone a little bitchy from time to time. So when I hit my limit I just excuse myself from that specific topic and move on.

Other boards are worse, seriously. I had a lot of reservations on coming back to the bump boards after many attempts to use the ttc and infertility boards because oh man...the snarkiness and nastiness of some of those ladies could get really out of hand at times (again...I kinda get it. It's not a "fun" group to be in).

But yay bunnies! (I'm more of a puppy person though, if ya'll could please be more respectful of that I'd appreciate it)

MariahOBrien · June 2015

@tate62610 I know. I screamed when I saw it and my cat side-eyed me so hard.

baconlady · June 2015

Bunnies!

anorthro · June 2015

MirandaC1984 · June 2015

Blinkbaby said:

I think for the *most part people in here are pretty alright. I try to take into consideration that we're all uncomfortable, hot, sweaty, fat with amped up hormones, swollen ankles and sore backs....which would make anyone a little bitchy from time to time. So when I hit my limit I just excuse myself from that specific topic and move on. Other boards are worse, seriously. I had a lot of reservations on coming back to the bump boards after many attempts to use the ttc and infertility boards because oh man...the snarkiness and nastiness of some of those ladies could get really out of hand at times (again...I kinda get it. It's not a "fun" group to be in). But yay bunnies! (I'm more of a puppy person though, if ya'll could please be more respectful of that I'd appreciate it)

Wouldn't want anyone to feel inentionally left out!

bumptara · June 2015

Hi all,

Maintaining a welcoming environment in the community is something we take very seriously. We welcome debate and engaging dialogue from all perspectives here. We do not tolerate bullying. If you feel you’ve experienced bullying within the community,

Please:
- Flag comments that violate our TOU by using the “Report a TOU Violation” feature below posts
- Send a Private Message to me or @BumpCaitlin describing your concerns or send an email to communitybump@xogrp.com and include links to any threads that you are concerned about so we can properly investigate.

Please do not:
- Post on the boards about your grievances with the community or individual members. Doing so tends to result in unproductive arguments among members and escalates situations.

By flagging posts that violate the TOU and sharing your concerns directly with our moderators, we are able to address issues promptly and properly.

We will be closing this thread for further comments. Thank you.

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