I want to choke him today. I dozed off on the couch for a few minutes and he got up and went down stairs and starting organizing his tool box. Then when he knew I was up, he stayed down there. When he came back upstairs he complained because I asked him to go to Target with me. I'm sorry you were gone Monday through Thursday of last week, will be the same this week, and will get to spend less than 24 hours with me and our newborn before he has to leave again. Then he complained because we had to stop and get gas. I'm sorry, we take my car everywhere and I drive a long way to work, it has to have gas at some point. He broke his Otterbox and I bought him a new one and I didn't even get a thank you. Now he's complaining about how tired he is. Really? What's that like?
There is some background to this before I get to the rant. DH is from Japan, I am American. We lived in Japan together for years and I loved it there, but he is the one who talked me into moving to the U.S. because he hated his job in Japan, it was making him depressed with all the mandatory overtime and verbal harassment he received on the job there, and he didn't think he could get another job there that could pay our expenses. OK so after years of planning and me going back to school for my masters so I could have a good job in the U.S., here we are in small town USA. He's been living here for two years and now his homesickness and culture shock are out of control. He attributes it mainly to the "stress" of expecting our first baby and the stress of his classes (he insisted on going back to school for premed in the U.S. despite having no medical background in Japan, meaning it will be 10+ years before we can buy a house and settle down--and I'm already 40).
So my rant is this. He is the one who wanted to leave Japan. I went to enormous trouble so he could pursue his dreams of moving here and becoming a doctor here. Now that we're expecting and there's no way he can get away to visit Japan for at least several months if not a few years, all he can talk about is how much he misses Japanese food, Japanese baseball, and Japanese hot springs. We're expecting a baby in literally a few days, and now he's saying he wants to run off back to Japan, skip his last week of classes and the birth altogether?! I know he won't actually do it, but he is moping around like it's my fault or our baby's fault that he doesn't get a selfish visit to Japan right now just to eat his favorite ramen and go to the hot springs. This is the absolute worst time for that, since I will need him to be my coach during birth and help me with the newborn after birth. He vetoed hiring a doula (well, we both thought it was too expensive) and went to six weeks of childbirth class with me so that he could coach me instead. I know he won't flake out on me, but the fact that he obviously wants to is making me see red.
I've tried to be nice to him and suggested going to hot springs in our own state, and he's free to go to the nearest big city and eat Japanese style ramen there whenever he's not too busy with school. But it's never enough, partly because he feels like he always has to study and doesn't let himself go do these things. At any other time, I would let him spend our money to visit Japan even if I didn't want to. I've been on the other side of it so I know reconnecting with your home culture is important. But seriously, right now?! One of the few times in our 9 year marriage I really need him around and depend on him? It's not funny even to joke about.
I want to choke him today. I dozed off on the couch for a few minutes and he got up and went down stairs and starting organizing his tool box. Then when he knew I was up, he stayed down there. When he came back upstairs he complained because I asked him to go to Target with me. I'm sorry you were gone Monday through Thursday of last week, will be the same this week, and will get to spend less than 24 hours with me and our newborn before he has to leave again. Then he complained because we had to stop and get gas. I'm sorry, we take my car everywhere and I drive a long way to work, it has to have gas at some point. He broke his Otterbox and I bought him a new one and I didn't even get a thank you. Now he's complaining about how tired he is. Really? What's that like?
I give you credit for not losing your mind on him! I think I would have blown up
I want to choke him today. I dozed off on the couch for a few minutes and he got up and went down stairs and starting organizing his tool box. Then when he knew I was up, he stayed down there. When he came back upstairs he complained because I asked him to go to Target with me. I'm sorry you were gone Monday through Thursday of last week, will be the same this week, and will get to spend less than 24 hours with me and our newborn before he has to leave again. Then he complained because we had to stop and get gas. I'm sorry, we take my car everywhere and I drive a long way to work, it has to have gas at some point. He broke his Otterbox and I bought him a new one and I didn't even get a thank you. Now he's complaining about how tired he is. Really? What's that like?
I give you credit for not losing your mind on him! I think I would have blown up
He's usually not like that, he's very patient with me and I guess the tool thing is his form of nesting. I guess it hasn't really hit him yet how soon the baby is going to be here and how little time we're going to have just the 2 of us. I try not to nag, but sometimes I'm just like, hey, pay attention to me!
I had DH come to my appt today and I think it scared him. I'm 4cm and I was 3 cm with DS less than 7 hours before he was born. So now he decides to finally get a bunch of stuff taken care of that was supposed to be done months ago. Which means he's a 20-30 min drive from the house. News flash:I don't care about your gd to do list, I'm much more worried about getting to the hospital in time.
I had DH come to my appt today and I think it scared him. I'm 4cm and I was 3 cm with DS less than 7 hours before he was born. So now he decides to finally get a bunch of stuff taken care of that was supposed to be done months ago. Which means he's a 20-30 min drive from the house. News flash:I don't care about your gd to do list, I'm much more worried about getting to the hospital in time.
You're gonna be fine! Thank goodness he's getting shiz done and THEN... he'll be back home and you'll be more relaxed. You'll hear that pop sound and your water will break and you'll have a normal length labor which will not be scary, and he'll be right by your side.
There is some background to this before I get to the rant. DH is from Japan, I am American. We lived in Japan together for years and I loved it there, but he is the one who talked me into moving to the U.S. because he hated his job in Japan, it was making him depressed with all the mandatory overtime and verbal harassment he received on the job there, and he didn't think he could get another job there that could pay our expenses. OK so after years of planning and me going back to school for my masters so I could have a good job in the U.S., here we are in small town USA. He's been living here for two years and now his homesickness and culture shock are out of control. He attributes it mainly to the "stress" of expecting our first baby and the stress of his classes (he insisted on going back to school for premed in the U.S. despite having no medical background in Japan, meaning it will be 10+ years before we can buy a house and settle down--and I'm already 40).
So my rant is this. He is the one who wanted to leave Japan. I went to enormous trouble so he could pursue his dreams of moving here and becoming a doctor here. Now that we're expecting and there's no way he can get away to visit Japan for at least several months if not a few years, all he can talk about is how much he misses Japanese food, Japanese baseball, and Japanese hot springs. We're expecting a baby in literally a few days, and now he's saying he wants to run off back to Japan, skip his last week of classes and the birth altogether?! I know he won't actually do it, but he is moping around like it's my fault or our baby's fault that he doesn't get a selfish visit to Japan right now just to eat his favorite ramen and go to the hot springs. This is the absolute worst time for that, since I will need him to be my coach during birth and help me with the newborn after birth. He vetoed hiring a doula (well, we both thought it was too expensive) and went to six weeks of childbirth class with me so that he could coach me instead. I know he won't flake out on me, but the fact that he obviously wants to is making me see red.
I've tried to be nice to him and suggested going to hot springs in our own state, and he's free to go to the nearest big city and eat Japanese style ramen there whenever he's not too busy with school. But it's never enough, partly because he feels like he always has to study and doesn't let himself go do these things. At any other time, I would let him spend our money to visit Japan even if I didn't want to. I've been on the other side of it so I know reconnecting with your home culture is important. But seriously, right now?! One of the few times in our 9 year marriage I really need him around and depend on him? It's not funny even to joke about.
I'd be really furious with my husband. You win wife of the year for being so supportive.
Just a funny DH story - I had gone into the garage to get a bottle of water from the fridge out there and remembered I needed to bring in the trash and recycling bins. So I open the garage door and bring in the bins and I see my neighbor and stroll over there and we're talking for a while, which turns into a longer while... Which turns into an hour or more. As we're standing in her driveway, I see our car come around the corner, and I'm like 'why is DH coming home? He's not off duty until tomorrow?' And then I remember that I have no idea how long I have been outside chatting, but its been a while, and I left my phone inside. /:) And sure enough, he gets out the car and says "if you are going to be away from your phone for an extended period of time, would you let me know, please!?!?" And he shows me he texted me over an hour ago, followed by another text, followed by a panicked phone call, until he finally just told his command he had to go home and check on me. Luckily they were cool with it, but I felt really bad about it.
@mellymar he was just for sure you were giving birth...... !
My neighbor and I felt SO sheepish. And then I was telling him 'I should've given you Bethany's # before now so you could call her and ask her to come check on me. That would've solved the problem' and then Bethany says, 'yeah, but my phone is inside, too! And I've been ignoring the house phone, remember?' (Her home phone had rang twice while we were chatting and she had waved it off saying the machine could get it). So even had he had her #, we still would've missed his call, and he would have FOR SURE thought I was at the hospital as she is my first option for a backup ride, with him having the car right now.
Moral of the story - keep our phones with us, ladies!
@mvargas12 he went back. He texted me later and said that he probably could've just stayed home for the night and reported back in the morning, but he didn't think to ask the next in command before he left, and then thought about it later after the guy had left for the day. No big. He's got tomorrow and Thursday off duty, and he put in his papers to have his paternity leave and (hopefully) an additional 10 days of leave to start this Friday.
@mellymar can your husband talk to my husband and convince him to take an extra 10 days of leave as well !?! Mine is saving his leave days since he's getting out next year and wants to use them to get out earlier... Which makes me kind of upset. I get it, you want to get out ....but isn't spending more time with your baby important?? Grrr.
Anyways....that was really nice of your husband and their command to go check on you!
Just want to brag on DH for a second. I don't give him enough credit. I can tell he's going to be such a great dad. He has really stepped up around the house and he made dinner tonight. It wasn't anything fancy, but he cleaned afterward!
@Zeuskay01 that sucks he is not asking for leave. I mean, when you are talking about terminal leave, really, what is 10 days left out of terminal leave mean at that point? Most people I have known using terminal leave are going on leave like 2 months before they get out. In the grand scheme of that perspective, is 50 days of leave so much worse than 60 days? :-/
At least he was able to put in for the leave, now. He had to jump the chain of command as the guy he was supposed to submit it to had previously told him not to bother and that he may not even be allowed his 10 days paternity leave. Luckily when senior heard about that he said he would probably be able to let DH have another 10 days and to go ahead and submit for leave. He couldn't promise anything, but he would try. Second in command guy is probably fuming now. Serves him right. Dude is a prick.
@Zeuskay01 that sucks he is not asking for leave. I mean, when you are talking about terminal leave, really, what is 10 days left out of terminal leave mean at that point? Most people I have known using terminal leave are going on leave like 2 months before they get out. In the grand scheme of that perspective, is 50 days of leave so much worse than 60 days? :-/
At least he was able to put in for the leave, now. He had to jump the chain of command as the guy he was supposed to submit it to had previously told him not to bother and that he may not even be allowed his 10 days paternity leave. Luckily when senior heard about that he said he would probably be able to let DH have another 10 days and to go ahead and submit for leave. He couldn't promise anything, but he would try. Second in command guy is probably fuming now. Serves him right. Dude is a prick.
What a jerk!! That makes me hissy for you, Mel.
@Zeuskay01 - does he get any time with you after the baby is born, or does he have to formally submit all leave?
@mellymar that is my point exactly! But whatever....I'm not going to beg him to take leave. And I would have raised a living hell if they tried denying paternity leave! I would've done the same thing and jumped the chain, good thing for "open door policy", so that guy who wanted to deny it can suck it!
@Westypet he gets 10 days paternity leave and that starts the day I get discharged from the hospital. He can submit for more, but he's not *rolls eyes*
Idk if you guys saw in another post I did a bit ago saying he was also going to be sent to training in July (which helps me be less upset about him taking additional leave because his unit would more than likely deny it)...so he would spend those 10 days with her and then leave for a month. He just told me today that it might not happen. I'm really crossing my fingers it doesn't !
ETA @mellymar I'm not sure if they're even ALLOWED to deny paternity leave now that I think of it!? If they're deployed...ok I get it...but if not, why would that guy say that !? Ugh. I hate when people like that are in a leadership position.
@mellymar that is my point exactly! But whatever....I'm not going to beg him to take leave. And I would have raised a living hell if they tried denying paternity leave! I would've done the same thing and jumped the chain, good thing for "open door policy", so that guy who wanted to deny it can suck it!
@Westypet he gets 10 days paternity leave and that starts the day I get discharged from the hospital. He can submit for more, but he's not *rolls eyes*
Idk if you guys saw in another post I did a bit ago saying he was also going to be sent to training in July (which helps me be less upset about him taking additional leave because his unit would more than likely deny it)...so he would spend those 10 days with her and then leave for a month. He just told me today that it might not happen. I'm really crossing my fingers it doesn't !
ETA @mellymar I'm not sure if they're even ALLOWED to deny paternity leave now that I think of it!? If they're deployed...ok I get it...but if not, why would that guy say that !? Ugh. I hate when people like that are in a leadership position.
It makes me so infuriated and upset to think of you ladies not having your SO's able to help you (or having to jump through major hoops to be able to help) or be there that first day/week.
There is some background to this before I get to the rant. DH is from Japan, I am American. We lived in Japan together for years and I loved it there, but he is the one who talked me into moving to the U.S. because he hated his job in Japan, it was making him depressed with all the mandatory overtime and verbal harassment he received on the job there, and he didn't think he could get another job there that could pay our expenses. OK so after years of planning and me going back to school for my masters so I could have a good job in the U.S., here we are in small town USA. He's been living here for two years and now his homesickness and culture shock are out of control. He attributes it mainly to the "stress" of expecting our first baby and the stress of his classes (he insisted on going back to school for premed in the U.S. despite having no medical background in Japan, meaning it will be 10+ years before we can buy a house and settle down--and I'm already 40).
So my rant is this. He is the one who wanted to leave Japan. I went to enormous trouble so he could pursue his dreams of moving here and becoming a doctor here. Now that we're expecting and there's no way he can get away to visit Japan for at least several months if not a few years, all he can talk about is how much he misses Japanese food, Japanese baseball, and Japanese hot springs. We're expecting a baby in literally a few days, and now he's saying he wants to run off back to Japan, skip his last week of classes and the birth altogether?! I know he won't actually do it, but he is moping around like it's my fault or our baby's fault that he doesn't get a selfish visit to Japan right now just to eat his favorite ramen and go to the hot springs. This is the absolute worst time for that, since I will need him to be my coach during birth and help me with the newborn after birth. He vetoed hiring a doula (well, we both thought it was too expensive) and went to six weeks of childbirth class with me so that he could coach me instead. I know he won't flake out on me, but the fact that he obviously wants to is making me see red.
I've tried to be nice to him and suggested going to hot springs in our own state, and he's free to go to the nearest big city and eat Japanese style ramen there whenever he's not too busy with school. But it's never enough, partly because he feels like he always has to study and doesn't let himself go do these things. At any other time, I would let him spend our money to visit Japan even if I didn't want to. I've been on the other side of it so I know reconnecting with your home culture is important. But seriously, right now?! One of the few times in our 9 year marriage I really need him around and depend on him? It's not funny even to joke about.
I'd be really furious with my husband. You win wife of the year for being so supportive.
@jesshrou thanks! Since that day when he was moping and saying he wanted to go back to Japan, he hasn't mentioned it again and has gone back to being supportive and helping me get ready for the birth. I know he still doesn't feel ready to be a father...although there are things he says he looks forward to about having a child, I think he's worried about losing his freedom and sleep, as well as all the things that could go wrong...he's five years younger than me and never got 'baby fever' like I finally did in my late 30s. Not sure how to convince him fully that having a child will be wonderful for us. Hopefully our baby will be wonderful enough to finish the job of convincing him.
There is some background to this before I get to the rant. DH is from Japan, I am American. We lived in Japan together for years and I loved it there, but he is the one who talked me into moving to the U.S. because he hated his job in Japan, it was making him depressed with all the mandatory overtime and verbal harassment he received on the job there, and he didn't think he could get another job there that could pay our expenses. OK so after years of planning and me going back to school for my masters so I could have a good job in the U.S., here we are in small town USA. He's been living here for two years and now his homesickness and culture shock are out of control. He attributes it mainly to the "stress" of expecting our first baby and the stress of his classes (he insisted on going back to school for premed in the U.S. despite having no medical background in Japan, meaning it will be 10+ years before we can buy a house and settle down--and I'm already 40).
So my rant is this. He is the one who wanted to leave Japan. I went to enormous trouble so he could pursue his dreams of moving here and becoming a doctor here. Now that we're expecting and there's no way he can get away to visit Japan for at least several months if not a few years, all he can talk about is how much he misses Japanese food, Japanese baseball, and Japanese hot springs. We're expecting a baby in literally a few days, and now he's saying he wants to run off back to Japan, skip his last week of classes and the birth altogether?! I know he won't actually do it, but he is moping around like it's my fault or our baby's fault that he doesn't get a selfish visit to Japan right now just to eat his favorite ramen and go to the hot springs. This is the absolute worst time for that, since I will need him to be my coach during birth and help me with the newborn after birth. He vetoed hiring a doula (well, we both thought it was too expensive) and went to six weeks of childbirth class with me so that he could coach me instead. I know he won't flake out on me, but the fact that he obviously wants to is making me see red.
I've tried to be nice to him and suggested going to hot springs in our own state, and he's free to go to the nearest big city and eat Japanese style ramen there whenever he's not too busy with school. But it's never enough, partly because he feels like he always has to study and doesn't let himself go do these things. At any other time, I would let him spend our money to visit Japan even if I didn't want to. I've been on the other side of it so I know reconnecting with your home culture is important. But seriously, right now?! One of the few times in our 9 year marriage I really need him around and depend on him? It's not funny even to joke about.
I'd be really furious with my husband. You win wife of the year for being so supportive.
@jesshrou thanks! Since that day when he was moping and saying he wanted to go back to Japan, he hasn't mentioned it again and has gone back to being supportive and helping me get ready for the birth. I know he still doesn't feel ready to be a father...although there are things he says he looks forward to about having a child, I think he's worried about losing his freedom and sleep, as well as all the things that could go wrong...he's five years younger than me and never got 'baby fever' like I finally did in my late 30s. Not sure how to convince him fully that having a child will be wonderful for us. Hopefully our baby will be wonderful enough to finish the job of convincing him.
Although it's somewhat different, it reminds me of the way he was against getting a cat for years, even though he loves cats more than anyone I know, because he was afraid they would scratch the walls/furniture, cost us too much money and we wouldn't be able to go on vacation anymore...well several years ago we got a cat, and then a second one, and now he adores those cats and would do anything for them. He never complains anymore about the expense or trouble of having cats, and he's the one who's been cleaning their litter boxes, giving them medicine and food and taking them to vet appointments all this time. I know he's happy we took on that added responsibility, though he balked at first. Is it justified to think having a baby will be similar? He did agree to my going off birth control when I wanted to start trying to get pregnant, so it's not like I forced this pregnancy on him completely against his will. He agreed to it, but he's always been a bit of a worrywart and now that things are getting "real", his anxiety seems worse.
Last night LO started crying around 4am. DH was straight up with him (because I've got quite a bit of engorgement, our current system is that DH gets up and comforts LO while I hand express to soften up my breasts, that way LO isn't so frantic when he feeds and he latches better.) DH changed him, rocked him and then gave him to me for a feed - he must have been up for at least 10mins with him. This morning DH woke up with a fright at 8am thinking that the baby hadn't cried in all that time - he has no memory at all of getting up last night. Poor thing is badly sleep deprived I think, we're going to go take a nap once LO is fed and sleeping.
@aliciaspinnet that is so sweet! Sounds like you guys are doing awesome
Our system is working well for us right now. When DH goes back to work I won't have as much help, but hopefully feeding will be more established by then. I'll be sad to lose the help though, DH is better at settling him than I am - LO loves his dad singing and rocking him and settles right down.
During labor I could feel all of the contractions. First they upped my dose, twice. Then they tried drug #2. Then they checked the catheter and tried drug #3. Still nothing. DH says "there are horses that go down easier than you!" Um, thanks?
DH has been awesome! He gets up during the night to help change little one and get us ready for feeding - without complaints! He works so hard 6 days a week, but is always available for us if we really need it. He has been taking on a lot with DS1, including bringing him to daycare and giving him all kinds of extra attention when I'm busy with baby. Love this man and couldn't do this without him!!
Watching DH sleep. Creepy, I know, but he has been working himself ragged to make sure that I'm okay, the house is okay, and that all of his work projects are complete before baby comes on Saturday.
If my heart is so full of love for this person, I can only imagine how I'll feel when LO arrives.
In the home stretch here and hubs has stepped it up. Yesterday he went thru his manly version of nesting. Lots of little projects that I have been asking for him to do and have given up on him ever doing (I've complained about his procrastination into laziness before) were done yesterday. All the random boxes we had in the garage from all the baby stuff we were shipped were broken down, thrown into the car, and taken off to recycling. After that he comes home and grabs the can of expandy foam sealant and goes to work sealing all the little gaps where our windows meet the frame of the house. The house is old, the windows are double paned and thus great for the winter, but each one had somewhere where the window fitting was not flush with the house and tho bugs usually did not come in, sometimes they did. I have found wasps in the windows twice. And the window in LO's room was the worst of the lot. So he goes around using the spray foam and seals all the little gaps. Then he decides he wants to make ribs for dinner (I've been craving BBQ, in this small town we have no BBQ restaurant) and that ish was off the chain! So good. While the ribs are cooking he fixes the light in the ceiling fan in the kitchen (the pull chain could be pulled no more, he just snipped some wires and rigged it so that it comes on with the switch instead of the pull chain), so now we can use the major light in the kitchen again.
And then finally, while we were eating those delicious ribs last night - he admitted he was terrified. Which made me so relieved, cause I'm basically scared sh!tless.
In the home stretch here and hubs has stepped it up. Yesterday he went thru his manly version of nesting. Lots of little projects that I have been asking for him to do and have given up on him ever doing (I've complained about his procrastination into laziness before) were done yesterday. All the random boxes we had in the garage from all the baby stuff we were shipped were broken down, thrown into the car, and taken off to recycling. After that he comes home and grabs the can of expandy foam sealant and goes to work sealing all the little gaps where our windows meet the frame of the house. The house is old, the windows are double paned and thus great for the winter, but each one had somewhere where the window fitting was not flush with the house and tho bugs usually did not come in, sometimes they did. I have found wasps in the windows twice. And the window in LO's room was the worst of the lot. So he goes around using the spray foam and seals all the little gaps. Then he decides he wants to make ribs for dinner (I've been craving BBQ, in this small town we have no BBQ restaurant) and that ish was off the chain! So good. While the ribs are cooking he fixes the light in the ceiling fan in the kitchen (the pull chain could be pulled no more, he just snipped some wires and rigged it so that it comes on with the switch instead of the pull chain), so now we can use the major light in the kitchen again.
And then finally, while we were eating those delicious ribs last night - he admitted he was terrified. Which made me so relieved, cause I'm basically scared sh!tless.
He's a procrastinator, yes. But he's a good guy.
This is awesome!!! I love hearing about all of his nesting! What a good guy. He must be made of "great stuff" ba doom chik!
We had decent sex last night.!!I made a comment about missing being intimate and feeling awful about myself and just kind of laid it all out and he turned his game on. Only he "missed" at the end and got mad because we "needed that to get the baby out." Seriously the biggest rave I could give at this point. He's a trooper.
He's also stopped taking his sleeping medicine because he wants to be able to jump up if he needs to. It may not seem like much, but he seriously cannot sleep without it. He's getting ready for Dad mode.
DH cannot pick a name to save his soul. I want to choke the guy right now. Here's why.... He believes you have one name you go with no matter what the kid looks like. I want to see baby first....... But ironically enough he can't pick a name....... He used to be head over heels with a name and now he just doesn't know.....
DH came home from work last night to me having contractions 10-15 minutes apart. I had then for about 6 hours and some terrible sciatic pain in my left leg. I was trying really hard to be as nice as I could through the pain and he told me later that night that I was acting like a bitch and to lighten up. I wanted to strangle him! Then he took me to see Inside Out because he felt bad and wanted to take my mind off the pain, but I'm still mad at him.
Just another random DH funny. He was on the phone with a friend of his (of ours, really) and giving him the baby update and friend says 'just remember,when she is in labor she is going to say things she doesn't mean'. And hubs comes right back at him with 'oh, no dude. She means them' and gives me a big ol sh!t-eating grin.
DH went into town earlier cause he was bored and just wanted to get out of the apartment. while walking back from his turnaround point he remembered to stop at shoppers and buy me the chapstick i asked for 8-> baby steps right?
DH picked up every possible overtime shift this month and has been working his butt off. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it, especially because it will give us a bit of a buffer zone financially; however by the time he gets home all he feels like doing is playing video games and vegging out and I need help getting some last minute stuff done! I really wish he could learn to balance his time and energy just a bit better
Re: DH/SO rants or raves? Put them here!
So my rant is this. He is the one who wanted to leave Japan. I went to enormous trouble so he could pursue his dreams of moving here and becoming a doctor here. Now that we're expecting and there's no way he can get away to visit Japan for at least several months if not a few years, all he can talk about is how much he misses Japanese food, Japanese baseball, and Japanese hot springs. We're expecting a baby in literally a few days, and now he's saying he wants to run off back to Japan, skip his last week of classes and the birth altogether?! I know he won't actually do it, but he is moping around like it's my fault or our baby's fault that he doesn't get a selfish visit to Japan right now just to eat his favorite ramen and go to the hot springs. This is the absolute worst time for that, since I will need him to be my coach during birth and help me with the newborn after birth. He vetoed hiring a doula (well, we both thought it was too expensive) and went to six weeks of childbirth class with me so that he could coach me instead. I know he won't flake out on me, but the fact that he obviously wants to is making me see red.
I've tried to be nice to him and suggested going to hot springs in our own state, and he's free to go to the nearest big city and eat Japanese style ramen there whenever he's not too busy with school. But it's never enough, partly because he feels like he always has to study and doesn't let himself go do these things. At any other time, I would let him spend our money to visit Japan even if I didn't want to. I've been on the other side of it so I know reconnecting with your home culture is important. But seriously, right now?! One of the few times in our 9 year marriage I really need him around and depend on him? It's not funny even to joke about.
You'll hear that pop sound and your water will break and you'll have a normal length labor which will not be scary, and he'll be right by your side.
I had gone into the garage to get a bottle of water from the fridge out there and remembered I needed to bring in the trash and recycling bins. So I open the garage door and bring in the bins and I see my neighbor and stroll over there and we're talking for a while, which turns into a longer while... Which turns into an hour or more. As we're standing in her driveway, I see our car come around the corner, and I'm like 'why is DH coming home? He's not off duty until tomorrow?' And then I remember that I have no idea how long I have been outside chatting, but its been a while, and I left my phone inside. /:) And sure enough, he gets out the car and says "if you are going to be away from your phone for an extended period of time, would you let me know, please!?!?" And he shows me he texted me over an hour ago, followed by another text, followed by a panicked phone call, until he finally just told his command he had to go home and check on me. Luckily they were cool with it, but I felt really bad about it.
So even had he had her #, we still would've missed his call, and he would have FOR SURE thought I was at the hospital as she is my first option for a backup ride, with him having the car right now.
Moral of the story - keep our phones with us, ladies!
Anyways....that was really nice of your husband and their command to go check on you!
Good reminder! I hate that sheepish feeling when I put my phone on silent or leave it somewhere. You have a loving DH, that's for sure!
DH was in a space today without service and he was a bit freaked out about it. I don't know why I feel like I'm the calm one the past two days.
At least he was able to put in for the leave, now. He had to jump the chain of command as the guy he was supposed to submit it to had previously told him not to bother and that he may not even be allowed his 10 days paternity leave. Luckily when senior heard about that he said he would probably be able to let DH have another 10 days and to go ahead and submit for leave. He couldn't promise anything, but he would try. Second in command guy is probably fuming now. Serves him right. Dude is a prick.
@Zeuskay01 - does he get any time with you after the baby is born, or does he have to formally submit all leave?
@Westypet he gets 10 days paternity leave and that starts the day I get discharged from the hospital. He can submit for more, but he's not *rolls eyes*
Idk if you guys saw in another post I did a bit ago saying he was also going to be sent to training in July (which helps me be less upset about him taking additional leave because his unit would more than likely deny it)...so he would spend those 10 days with her and then leave for a month. He just told me today that it might not happen. I'm really crossing my fingers it doesn't !
ETA @mellymar I'm not sure if they're even ALLOWED to deny paternity leave now that I think of it!? If they're deployed...ok I get it...but if not, why would that guy say that !? Ugh. I hate when people like that are in a leadership position.
And eff that commanding officer.
The more I go past my DD, the more easily irritated I get.
If my heart is so full of love for this person, I can only imagine how I'll feel when LO arrives.
And then finally, while we were eating those delicious ribs last night - he admitted he was terrified. Which made me so relieved, cause I'm basically scared sh!tless.
He's a procrastinator, yes. But he's a good guy.
He's also stopped taking his sleeping medicine because he wants to be able to jump up if he needs to. It may not seem like much, but he seriously cannot sleep without it. He's getting ready for Dad mode.
<a href="https://daisypath.com/"><img src="https://davf.daisypath.com/3BHOm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Daisypath Anniversary tickers" /></a>
April Siggy Challenge
^^
Yeah, a movie doesn't make up for calling you bitchy
baby steps right?