So on Tuesday before he went back on duty for Wednesday and Thursday, hubs tell me that we're going to go mini golfing today after he gets off work at the Y. I'm all internally 'oh yay, I love mini golfing and it'll be like our last date night, tons of fun, hooray!' :x So I tell him yeah, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And then he comes out with "yeah, Marshall and I decided that we wanted to do a mini golf tour of the places around here, so we'll go and play one place, then play the next, and we'll have you to drive us so we can drink". :-w
"""Oh, boo, that's no fun!! would he be open to changing the plans to just the two of you? Or planning something else for tomorrow or something for just the two of you?
"""
Tomorrow we need to do some house stuff, and he has to work at the Y again. Also if they do proceed with this plan today, I'm not gonna be into it tomorrow. But, the boys flake on each other half the time, so its possible I may not be chauffeuring them around all night. Or the weather may work with me, we're forecast for showers and possible thunderstormsthunderstorms
Edited, quote box fail
I hope the weather works out / boys cancel, then! and I hope that you and your husband end up taking advantage of whichever scenario to spend some quality time together
Me too! Why are boys so flakey, btw? When chicks make plans... It's like they're made with permanent marker!
@JessHeppell - Did he show? I'd throw his balls in my purse. So inconsiderate!!
yeah.. he appeared around 7. i went off through text so there was nothing to really say when he got back. but he had the nerve to ask "whats wrong" when i wouldnt cuddle him.
FIL is coming this weekend to pick up DH's old jeep so he can sell it. It's still in FIL's name and it's been sitting in our parking lot for almost six months while we've been waiting for him to come get it after DH bought a new car - I didn't want DH driving it back to our hometown because the heating core is broken and the windows would fog up in the winter, and then once the weather warmed up I didn't want DH leaving me for a whole weekend so he could take it back. It's finally being taken care of and now I don't have to feel guilty about parking 3 cars in our building's lot, which has about 12 spaces.
Anyway, last night we were talking about when we want baby to come. As I've said many times, I'm hoping she comes on or after EDD, but DH wants her here NOW. Well, last night I asked DH, "What happens I go into labor before your dad gets here?" I was asking because FIL is taking the megabus to where we live and DH is supposed to pick him up from downtown at 11PM - but if LO comes before that, what happens? Does FIL wait downtown, does DH leave me during labor to pick up FIL, do we call (and pay for) a cab, etc... I was just looking for a plan in the event that this would happen, but then DH went on a rant about how he doesn't understand why I'm so concerned about other people being here while I'm in labor (his friend visited last week and, at 38+ weeks, I was a bit concerned about it then, too). Well, a) that's not why I was asking, but b) Idk, maybe because I'm going to be in pain and I don't want to have to worry about guests when I'm trying to push out a baby?!
Ugh. Not a big deal and DH and I have moved past the discussion as far as not being mad at each other goes, but clearly I'm still dwelling on it. DH has been really good about cooperating about having things however I want as far as L&D and visitors after baby's birth goes, but it does upset me that he's not really trying to understand why I might not want to have visitors - especially male visitors - at this time. Especially since I didn't put up a fuss about FIL staying here this weekend, even though it's definitely not my idea of an ideal situation since the man is incredibly hard to deal with (even DH agrees with me on this point). All I can do is hope and pray that LO waits until after FIL leaves tomorrow afternoon to decide to arrive!
Can the two of you discuss a no-visitors policy for the rest of your pregnancy?? I'm 37+ and I can't imagine having to house someone (even family) right now. #nope
Thankfully I don't *think* it will be an issue since I'm due in 4 days... I would've said no to these two that we've had, but DH had been dying to have his friend visit since we moved out here, and I've been dying to get this jeep out of here and this is the first time FIL has actually shown any initiative in actually following through with what he's been promising to do since January. So I didn't feel like I could say no to either. But if any other visitors come up before LO arrives I'm putting my foot down. Ditto for after she's here, too - I'm fine with my mom, sisters, MIL, and SIL coming if they're coming for the sake of helping, but no guys till I'm 100% comfortable with breastfeeding (which has been another contested issue, but that's another story!).
When MIL kept insisting I was wrong about traveling after baby, I fought her tooth and nail. My child, my rules. Then, one night I approached it in a different way: "I may feel really strongly about this, and you may think I'm crazy, and I may end up changing my mind, but what I really need from you is a cheerleader. I need your support in this, even if you think I'm wrong, and that I'll change my mind. Can you cheer me on in this and help me out here?"
That word cheerleader struck a chord with MIL, and it may help you with DH-- especially if he just completely disagrees. In this, it's not about agreeing, it's about him supporting you and making you feel comfortable. I think the word cheerleader spins it in a positive way without saying "I need your support, you insensitive dolt!"
My DH has been so helpful getting things ready for the baby this week. He has put together so many things, helped with putting baby stuff away, cleaned all of our carpets, and so much more! He's been really wonderful, but the highlight of my week was when he tried out our new baby wrap and decided to put the dog in it to test it out
Rave- he never complains about how much I complain, calls on his way home everyday asking me if I need anything, then goes out at night when I change my mind, cooks, (tries to clean for me but I won't let him-a little OCD on my part), he's a keeper :x
So on Tuesday before he went back on duty for Wednesday and Thursday, hubs tell me that we're going to go mini golfing today after he gets off work at the Y. I'm all internally 'oh yay, I love mini golfing and it'll be like our last date night, tons of fun, hooray!' :x So I tell him yeah, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And then he comes out with "yeah, Marshall and I decided that we wanted to do a mini golf tour of the places around here, so we'll go and play one place, then play the next, and we'll have you to drive us so we can drink". :-w
"""Oh, boo, that's no fun!! would he be open to changing the plans to just the two of you? Or planning something else for tomorrow or something for just the two of you?
"""
Tomorrow we need to do some house stuff, and he has to work at the Y again. Also if they do proceed with this plan today, I'm not gonna be into it tomorrow. But, the boys flake on each other half the time, so its possible I may not be chauffeuring them around all night. Or the weather may work with me, we're forecast for showers and possible thunderstormsthunderstorms
Edited, quote box fail
I hope the weather works out / boys cancel, then! and I hope that you and your husband end up taking advantage of whichever scenario to spend some quality time together
Me too! Why are boys so flakey, btw? When chicks make plans... It's like they're made with permanent marker!
@JessHeppell - Did he show? I'd throw his balls in my purse. So inconsiderate!!
yeah.. he appeared around 7. i went off through text so there was nothing to really say when he got back. but he had the nerve to ask "whats wrong" when i wouldnt cuddle him.
@Westypet oh that is exactly how i felt. i originally planned on telling him to get out if he came in the bedroom. but being so tired i didnt even care. i only had 3 hours of sleep before waking up at 5 and he didnt come in the bedroom till 8 and i was still tossing and turning. maybe i should have hissed..
DS has been dying to go camping. I checked the nearest decent campground and there's no availability for tomorrow night so DH and DS are camping in the pasture tonight. So sweet and DS extra happy to have special daddy time. ❤️
@Westypet oh that is exactly how i felt. i originally planned on telling him to get out if he came in the bedroom. but being so tired i didnt even care. i only had 3 hours of sleep before waking up at 5 and he didnt come in the bedroom till 8 and i was still tossing and turning. maybe i should have hissed..
My husband is good about calling his parents every week. We have a small apartment, so I often overhear the conversations - but not always, and he doesn't mind that I hear them but knows I don't always. But what's so wonderful is he *always says really nice things about me, and keeps them updated on the pregnancy in a lot of detail. Not just how the baby is doing, but how I'M doing. And before I was pregnant, he'd give updates on something good that happened to me at work or something.
It makes my heart swell every time. I feel doubly lucky having such a supportive husband and also such caring in-laws.
I hate bananas but FI always insists I get them at the grocery store. But he won't eat them once they get "too ripe". I buy the greenest ones I can find but every week I end up with a bunch of mushy bananas he refuses to eat. I can only make so much banana bread....
Also wanted to acknowledge that my rants keep getting more and more stupid and small the closer I get to popping this baby out. :-??
I hate bananas but FI always insists I get them at the grocery store. But he won't eat them once they get "too ripe". I buy the greenest ones I can find but every week I end up with a bunch of mushy bananas he refuses to eat. I can only make so much banana bread....
Also wanted to acknowledge that my rants keep getting more and more stupid and small the closer I get to popping this baby out. :-??
Haha I think we're all at that point... I love how the first pages of this thread are like almost exclusively raves, and now we're all like, "rant, rant, rant, rant, oh hey he did something good! Rant, rant, rant..." probably says more about us than our poor SOs!
^^ total LOL to that! Seems about right. I'll do a rave, tho. Despite my rant about being mad in angry pregnant ladies, I wasn't really mad at DH - I was more mad about just not being able to enjoy myself, being tired, being uncomfortable, being hungry, being painful. DH was actually really good about it last night, making sure I wasn't excluded despite the fact I didn't know these people (this is something we have struggled with before - he brings me somewhere and I spend a long time in a corner by myself cause he is being a social butterfly and I don't know anyone), checking on how I was feeling, rubbing my back, gently massaging my neck, lifting my hair off my neck when I said it was hot. And he IS pretty rough on the edges this morning, but as he left for his 2nd job lifeguarding at the Y I jokingly said 'don't forget we were gonna get Wild Tomato this afternoon' (super awesome pizza joint about 40 min north) he just gives me a wry smile and says 'of course'. I'm sure by the time his Y shift is done he is going to feel REALLY rough, but he'll still take me to pizza. Nom nom nom
I'll do a rave DH has been doing all the chores today - helping his dad with the jeep so his dad could get on the road as planned, doing all the dishes, etc... and his excitement over my contractions is adorable. He wants this baby here! I warned him that these could go on for days and not to get his hopes up - I think my warning came too late!
Tomorrow is the day ladies. The day I am dreading: when I host MIL, FIL, BIL, and SIL in our tiny apartment for a day at the beach. Our place is the perfect size for us but there is no place to sit 6 people at the same time. And FI told them he would grill burgers for a "snack" when they get here between 12 and 1. Darling whom I adore so much, grilling at 12 pm is not a snack, it is lunch. Which means I have to attempt to serve lunch to them all when there will barely be room to move. I have to go to the store for all the food and buy more plates and cups because I don't even have enough! Thank god we have a balcony that seats four- I may just leave them out there. Then we are all going to the beach before dinner reservations at 5.... Where exactly they all plan to shower and change after the beach is a mystery to me because our bathroom is the size of a closet. Add to this my constant fear of being judged for our home, it being all of their first time here, FI not getting around to putting the AC in yet, having to say no to BIL and SIL when they asked to bring their dog (wtf?) and being 38+2 and I'm just about ready to explode.
Tomorrow is the day ladies. The day I am dreading: when I host MIL, FIL, BIL, and SIL in our tiny apartment for a day at the beach. Our place is the perfect size for us but there is no place to sit 6 people at the same time. And FI told them he would grill burgers for a "snack" when they get here between 12 and 1. Darling whom I adore so much, grilling at 12 pm is not a snack, it is lunch. Which means I have to attempt to serve lunch to them all when there will barely be room to move. I have to go to the store for all the food and buy more plates and cups because I don't even have enough! Thank god we have a balcony that seats four- I may just leave them out there. Then we are all going to the beach before dinner reservations at 5.... Where exactly they all plan to shower and change after the beach is a mystery to me because our bathroom is the size of a closet. Add to this my constant fear of being judged for our home, it being all of their first time here, FI not getting around to putting the AC in yet, having to say no to BIL and SIL when they asked to bring their dog (wtf?) and being 38+2 and I'm just about ready to explode.
Paper plates, plastic utensils, and buy some premade potato soup and chips
Tomorrow is the day ladies. The day I am dreading: when I host MIL, FIL, BIL, and SIL in our tiny apartment for a day at the beach. Our place is the perfect size for us but there is no place to sit 6 people at the same time. And FI told them he would grill burgers for a "snack" when they get here between 12 and 1. Darling whom I adore so much, grilling at 12 pm is not a snack, it is lunch. Which means I have to attempt to serve lunch to them all when there will barely be room to move. I have to go to the store for all the food and buy more plates and cups because I don't even have enough! Thank god we have a balcony that seats four- I may just leave them out there. Then we are all going to the beach before dinner reservations at 5.... Where exactly they all plan to shower and change after the beach is a mystery to me because our bathroom is the size of a closet. Add to this my constant fear of being judged for our home, it being all of their first time here, FI not getting around to putting the AC in yet, having to say no to BIL and SIL when they asked to bring their dog (wtf?) and being 38+2 and I'm just about ready to explode.
Paper plates, plastic utensils, and buy some premade potato soup and chips
Yes, exactly. Put all that on *DH's* shopping list.
Tomorrow is the day ladies. The day I am dreading: when I host MIL, FIL, BIL, and SIL in our tiny apartment for a day at the beach. Our place is the perfect size for us but there is no place to sit 6 people at the same time. And FI told them he would grill burgers for a "snack" when they get here between 12 and 1. Darling whom I adore so much, grilling at 12 pm is not a snack, it is lunch. Which means I have to attempt to serve lunch to them all when there will barely be room to move. I have to go to the store for all the food and buy more plates and cups because I don't even have enough! Thank god we have a balcony that seats four- I may just leave them out there. Then we are all going to the beach before dinner reservations at 5.... Where exactly they all plan to shower and change after the beach is a mystery to me because our bathroom is the size of a closet. Add to this my constant fear of being judged for our home, it being all of their first time here, FI not getting around to putting the AC in yet, having to say no to BIL and SIL when they asked to bring their dog (wtf?) and being 38+2 and I'm just about ready to explode.
I'd sit around on the couch with my feet up and let them invade, but worry about themselves. As long as your house is clean(ish), then you should be fine. If it's not clean, too bad! Spray some air freshener, and you'll be okay.
Stouffers family size Mac and cheese as a side for burgers, a bag of lettuce, croutons, and ranch dressing for a salad. Fi can serve it up buffet style and they can eat on the porch or wherever.
Can you ask your family to bring paper plates, solo cups, plastic cutlery, extra ice and whatever they want to drink for the day in their coolers for ya to make it easier on you? Bonus points if they bring you a dessert you love!
I have a hostess complex myself. I can't stand to have people over and things not be exactly right for fear of judgement. It'll be okay. Let FI run the show tomorrow.
@Westypet hostess complex is the exact term I'm looking for here. I'm just gonna do what I can to plan today, but when I wake up tomorrow I'm gonna put on my best I don't give a f*** face and try to enjoy my day.
@Serenamarr yeah, all of THIS ^^ up there. Don't hostess nothin'. Girl, send your man or his fam out for paper plates and premixed salads and microwave sides. Or they can stop by the hot deli in your grocery and get some there. You sit your butt down, put your swollen ass feet up, and have someone bring you a plate and a cool drink with an umbrella in it.
@Serenamarr yeah, all of THIS ^^ up there. Don't hostess nothin'. Girl, send your man or his fam out for paper plates and premixed salads and microwave sides. Or they can stop by the hot deli in your grocery and get some there. You sit your butt down, put your swollen ass feet up, and have someone bring you a plate and a cool drink with an umbrella in it.
It would probably make them reallllly happy to dote on you, too. Make them feel useful. My in laws wouldn't stop asking me if I needed anything last time. Milk it!
Very upset with DH tonight. Tonight is most likely our last night alone together for a while (my stepson comes back to our house for a while and dd is Tuesday with possible induction by the end of the week) and we got into a huge massive blowout fight. He has a hernia and needs surgery. We were talking about when and he said that he will decide when he has it. He kept saying "i" and his decision about his body. He is such a freaking control freak but I feel like these decisions should be made by the two of us. Anything that effects our family should involve talking between us. I hate when he gets like this. So we got into an insane fight and now I'm so depressed. This is not how I imagined our last alone night before baby to be.
Very upset with DH tonight. Tonight is most likely our last night alone together for a while (my stepson comes back to our house for a while and dd is Tuesday with possible induction by the end of the week) and we got into a huge massive blowout fight. He has a hernia and needs surgery. We were talking about when and he said that he will decide when he has it. He kept saying "i" and his decision about his body. He is such a freaking control freak but I feel like these decisions should be made by the two of us. Anything that effects our family should involve talking between us. I hate when he gets like this. So we got into an insane fight and now I'm so depressed. This is not how I imagined our last alone night before baby to be.
So sorry it didn't turn out as well as you'd hoped - that really stinks I hope that you guys will be able to make up before the end of the night so maybe the last few hours will make up a little bit for the beginning!
@staceyfern that sucks. As if his decision isn't going to effect you as well. I'm sorry that's how your night is going. Also hoping that he comes around so you guys can enjoy some time together
Oh man I have a huge rant right now. I told my dh I didn't want anyone coming up right after the baby gets here. Told my parents the same thing he told his parents blah blah thought everything was settled. My dh is going to my sis ml wedding July 18th one month after our due date. So my mom is coming up then, well my stepdad has a conference in canada the week before so my mom is coming up a few days earlier than originally planned by like 4 days. I told dh I didn't want my in laws here until I'm going back to work because they always stay for a ridiculous amount of time last time was 12 days the time before 11. This way they could spend all the time in the world with the baby while I'm at work and we don't have to pay for daycare. Apparently since my mom changed the plan and while she is going to be here earlier she is actually only here for 1 day then leaving for 2 days to see the other grand baby and then coming back my dh thinks I'm being unfair to his parents who have to wait 5 extra weeks to see the baby. And they should be able to come up twice and stay with us. My mom 1 is staying somewhere else 3 of the nights that are extra and is only coming up then because dh will be out of town with his family! His parents stress me out like no other they are super controlling with what they want to do where we go to eat and are very judging. Do you guys think I'm being unfair? My dad isn't coming up at all. My mom also doesn't hang around she isn't a baby person and will be sightseeing with my step dad and hanging out with my sister. To give better context I was told to get a babysitter for our lo to go to my sister bday dinner when my lo will be 3 weeks or so old and if that wasn't possible they will bring me back food. And my in laws will not let the baby out of their sights. I thought this was all settled back in month 2 of being pregnant. But apparently not and now I'm super stressed and angry.
I don't mean to make my in laws sound terrible they are really wonderful people and truthfully would do anything for dh and me, but I'm not super comfortable with them and I just want those few weeks that I get with lo to be us. They are both retired and are going to drive up which takes 2 days. I'm more afraid of them staying for an extended period of time like they always do and judging how I take care of my daughter... if I thought it was possible for them to come for like 3 days it would be a non issue, but that has never ever been the case, and they are very clingy which is something I'm not use to at all since my family is so very apathetic lol.
Oh man I have a huge rant right now. I told my dh I didn't want anyone coming up right after the baby gets here. Told my parents the same thing he told his parents blah blah thought everything was settled. My dh is going to my sis ml wedding July 18th one month after our due date. So my mom is coming up then, well my stepdad has a conference in canada the week before so my mom is coming up a few days earlier than originally planned by like 4 days. I told dh I didn't want my in laws here until I'm going back to work because they always stay for a ridiculous amount of time last time was 12 days the time before 11. This way they could spend all the time in the world with the baby while I'm at work and we don't have to pay for daycare. Apparently since my mom changed the plan and while she is going to be here earlier she is actually only here for 1 day then leaving for 2 days to see the other grand baby and then coming back my dh thinks I'm being unfair to his parents who have to wait 5 extra weeks to see the baby. And they should be able to come up twice and stay with us. My mom 1 is staying somewhere else 3 of the nights that are extra and is only coming up then because dh will be out of town with his family! His parents stress me out like no other they are super controlling with what they want to do where we go to eat and are very judging. Do you guys think I'm being unfair? My dad isn't coming up at all. My mom also doesn't hang around she isn't a baby person and will be sightseeing with my step dad and hanging out with my sister. To give better context I was told to get a babysitter for our lo to go to my sister bday dinner when my lo will be 3 weeks or so old and if that wasn't possible they will bring me back food. And my in laws will not let the baby out of their sights. I thought this was all settled back in month 2 of being pregnant. But apparently not and now I'm super stressed and angry.
I think when you have visitors varies based on family situations. In my case: MIL is actually staying with us the week we bring LO home so she can help me with breastfeeding, and my mom is going to stay the week after that. FIL, on the other hand, will not be staying with us until I am 100% comfortable with being a mom. There are two reasons for this:
1) I am very shy about my body and do NOT feel comfortable at this time with breastfeeding in front of any men aside from my husband. So this means that if FIL were to stay with us, either I would have to leave the room, which I feel is unfair to me as a new mom in recovery; he would have to leave the room, which I can see him putting up a fuss about; or I'd have to cover up, which I don't feel I should have to do in the comfort of my own home.
2) my mom and MIL will be coming to help. FIL would be coming to visit. That's just how he is. When the moms visit, they offer to help with just about everything. When FIL visits, he sits on his butt while DH and I wait on him. As a guest, he's entitled to this - but, as my mom pointed out to me, if you had your appendix taken out, would people ask to visit and expect to be treated as guests during your recovery time? The answer is hopefully no. It's one thing if people want to stay with you so that they can help. It's another if people want to stay with you so they can visit. Your situation sounds like the latter, and if I were in your place, I'd say no until I'm recovered, so about 6 weeks after LO's arrival - especially since your in-laws tend to stay for extended periods of time.
Good luck! I hope your husband comes to see your perspective.
@queequeg09256 only thing I can think of is to get DH to agree and promise and then STAND BY YOU and make them agree to no more than whatever day stay. And if they then try to weasel more time.out for themselves, then he has to (again) be firm with them and tell them they can go get a hotel if they want to stay in town, but you two are all visitor-ed out and need a break. They are welcome to check out the area for a few days until you all have rested and will be able to have visitors again for a day or two.
Oh man I have a huge rant right now. I told my dh I didn't want anyone coming up right after the baby gets here. Told my parents the same thing he told his parents blah blah thought everything was settled. My dh is going to my sis ml wedding July 18th one month after our due date. So my mom is coming up then, well my stepdad has a conference in canada the week before so my mom is coming up a few days earlier than originally planned by like 4 days. I told dh I didn't want my in laws here until I'm going back to work because they always stay for a ridiculous amount of time last time was 12 days the time before 11. This way they could spend all the time in the world with the baby while I'm at work and we don't have to pay for daycare. Apparently since my mom changed the plan and while she is going to be here earlier she is actually only here for 1 day then leaving for 2 days to see the other grand baby and then coming back my dh thinks I'm being unfair to his parents who have to wait 5 extra weeks to see the baby. And they should be able to come up twice and stay with us. My mom 1 is staying somewhere else 3 of the nights that are extra and is only coming up then because dh will be out of town with his family! His parents stress me out like no other they are super controlling with what they want to do where we go to eat and are very judging. Do you guys think I'm being unfair? My dad isn't coming up at all. My mom also doesn't hang around she isn't a baby person and will be sightseeing with my step dad and hanging out with my sister. To give better context I was told to get a babysitter for our lo to go to my sister bday dinner when my lo will be 3 weeks or so old and if that wasn't possible they will bring me back food. And my in laws will not let the baby out of their sights. I thought this was all settled back in month 2 of being pregnant. But apparently not and now I'm super stressed and angry.
I think when you have visitors varies based on family situations. In my case: MIL is actually staying with us the week we bring LO home so she can help me with breastfeeding, and my mom is going to stay the week after that. FIL, on the other hand, will not be staying with us until I am 100% comfortable with being a mom. There are two reasons for this:
1) I am very shy about my body and do NOT feel comfortable at this time with breastfeeding in front of any men aside from my husband. So this means that if FIL were to stay with us, either I would have to leave the room, which I feel is unfair to me as a new mom in recovery; he would have to leave the room, which I can see him putting up a fuss about; or I'd have to cover up, which I don't feel I should have to do in the comfort of my own home.
2) my mom and MIL will be coming to help. FIL would be coming to visit. That's just how he is. When the moms visit, they offer to help with just about everything. When FIL visits, he sits on his butt while DH and I wait on him. As a guest, he's entitled to this - but, as my mom pointed out to me, if you had your appendix taken out, would people ask to visit and expect to be treated as guests during your recovery time? The answer is hopefully no. It's one thing if people want to stay with you so that they can help. It's another if people want to stay with you so they can visit. Your situation sounds like the latter, and if I were in your place, I'd say no until I'm recovered, so about 6 weeks after LO's arrival - especially since your in-laws tend to stay for extended periods of time.
Good luck! I hope your husband comes to see your perspective.
This!!!! It's not about seeing the baby and hosting people. It's about your recovery from a medical event.
Tell him to slice his balls open to deliver your child and then try to learn how to feed the little one with his leaky penis in front of people.
I'm fine to compromise. My plan is to day they cane come for a max of 4 days over 4th of july. That way it's after we've had time to get to know lo and hubby will be off so it won't be with them being all awkward and then they can see her like 4 weeks later. My mom is visiting not really helping and my in laws would genuinely be here to help that's why I have reservations about it we have very different ideas of what is help and what is judging and be intrusive, which isn't their fault my family is just very hands off stays in hotels when they visit you might see them 3 times if they are here for a week. Which I know is not normal for visitors. We just have both extremes. On a positive side I'm going to make some brownies to help in coping with this new development.
Does anyone's DH/SO vape/ or use an ecig? I'm 39 weeks as of today and till this day my DH vapes like a freakin chimney around me, in the house, and in the car... There's the big controversies that's is safer than actual cigarettes and blah blah but the smell of of it has made me nauseated since the first trimester of my pregnancy and especially when my allergies are acting up .. Although I beg and plea for him to not do it around me he still does it.. Even for our LO sake... He swears he'll stop once she's out but I doubt that... So frustrating and annoying, he wonders why he has sinus issues and coughing fits... Please tell me I'm not the only one suffering in a vape cloud
Not my DH but I worked in a bar until beginning of May and I had customers who would come in and vape and were constantly blowing it behind the bar (at me, essentially). My manager would be like - oh it completely harmless, its just vapor. And I'm like - no, its not just vapor. You know how I know that? It smells. Vapor doesn't smell. Its odorless. Steam is a vapor, and steam doesn't smell. She never really did anything about it so finally one day when I was working I was just said to them - "can we please not blow smoke at the pregnant lady, here?" So I feel ya. I did used to smoke cigarettes but even then I felt that people who vape should have to step outside like the rest of us.
NJ state law was amended to include ecigs and vapes in their ban on smoking in public. People still do it but you are more than entitled to tell them to get the f out because they can be charged criminally for it.
Rant-DH refused to talk to LO before he was born. He kept telling that he would talk to him when he gets here. Majorly hurt my feelings.
Rave-So of course DH is obsessed with DS now that he is here-just like he told me. He is constantly worried about how DS is doing and looking up things about issues we're having with BF or sleeping or what not.
Rant-But the kicker is that he now constantly talks to DS! Nonstop. I finally told him to shut up after the last time he woke DS. He wants to talk and kiss and count toes and none of those things help a tired baby sleep!
I'm just so annoyed right now. The husband decided that since it might be one of our last weekends alone without a baby that he was gonna go out with his friends and get completely drunk and annoying as hell. I texted him twice about nothing special but he never replied and didn't see it until he had gotten home. Well what if something had happened and I needed to go to the hospital or something. And dude what about me?! I don't get a last night out really to go crazy. And I'm ok with it. He acted like it was a complete necessity that he had to go out. Then when he gets home he was so obnoxious then passed out right away and didn't give me any room In the bed which resulted to me sleeping on the couch. Screw you seriously
I'm scheduled for a c/s tomorrow (yay I finally get to meet my baby girl!). I've cleaned the house so many times the past few weeks. Every time it looks amazing the hubs proceeds to mess it all up again in a matter of days. DS also chips in to messing it up but he's a toddler so I kind of expect it. I told DH I wanted the house clean today so it's nice when I leave. Also his mother is coming to help with DS so I don't want her to see our house all messy. He said... "Why?? I want to relax since we won't be able to once the baby arrives!" I know the house will go to complete shit while I'm recovering from the c/s so I at least want it to be nice and clean now. He doesn't get it! And it makes me so freaking mad that he is just as bad as a two year old when it comes to cleaning up after himself!! Which means he doesn't seem to know how to put away his shoes, clothes, dishes, trash, etc.
Re: DH/SO rants or raves? Put them here!
Me too! Why are boys so flakey, btw? When chicks make plans... It's like they're made with permanent marker!
@JessHeppell - Did he show? I'd throw his balls in my purse. So inconsiderate!!
yeah.. he appeared around 7. i went off through text so there was nothing to really say when he got back. but he had the nerve to ask "whats wrong" when i wouldnt cuddle him.
@JessHeppell - Did he show? I'd throw his balls in my purse. So inconsiderate!!
yeah.. he appeared around 7. i went off through text so there was nothing to really say when he got back. but he had the nerve to ask "whats wrong" when i wouldnt cuddle him.
maybe i should have hissed..
It makes my heart swell every time. I feel doubly lucky having such a supportive husband and also such caring in-laws.
Also wanted to acknowledge that my rants keep getting more and more stupid and small the closer I get to popping this baby out. :-??
I told him I was feeling really sore and he said, "Well, my balls are really hot. I could put them on your forehead?" Lol. Wut??
He just came downstairs and saw me and the cat cuddling and said, "hi, cuties!"
Love.
Paper plates, plastic utensils, and buy some premade potato soup and chips
Stouffers family size Mac and cheese as a side for burgers, a bag of lettuce, croutons, and ranch dressing for a salad. Fi can serve it up buffet style and they can eat on the porch or wherever.
Can you ask your family to bring paper plates, solo cups, plastic cutlery, extra ice and whatever they want to drink for the day in their coolers for ya to make it easier on you? Bonus points if they bring you a dessert you love!
I have a hostess complex myself. I can't stand to have people over and things not be exactly right for fear of judgement. It'll be okay. Let FI run the show tomorrow.
1) I am very shy about my body and do NOT feel comfortable at this time with breastfeeding in front of any men aside from my husband. So this means that if FIL were to stay with us, either I would have to leave the room, which I feel is unfair to me as a new mom in recovery; he would have to leave the room, which I can see him putting up a fuss about; or I'd have to cover up, which I don't feel I should have to do in the comfort of my own home.
2) my mom and MIL will be coming to help. FIL would be coming to visit. That's just how he is. When the moms visit, they offer to help with just about everything. When FIL visits, he sits on his butt while DH and I wait on him. As a guest, he's entitled to this - but, as my mom pointed out to me, if you had your appendix taken out, would people ask to visit and expect to be treated as guests during your recovery time? The answer is hopefully no. It's one thing if people want to stay with you so that they can help. It's another if people want to stay with you so they can visit. Your situation sounds like the latter, and if I were in your place, I'd say no until I'm recovered, so about 6 weeks after LO's arrival - especially since your in-laws tend to stay for extended periods of time.
Good luck! I hope your husband comes to see your perspective.
Tell him to slice his balls open to deliver your child and then try to learn how to feed the little one with his leaky penis in front of people.
Rant-DH refused to talk to LO before he was born. He kept telling that he would talk to him when he gets here. Majorly hurt my feelings.
Rave-So of course DH is obsessed with DS now that he is here-just like he told me. He is constantly worried about how DS is doing and looking up things about issues we're having with BF or sleeping or what not.
Rant-But the kicker is that he now constantly talks to DS! Nonstop. I finally told him to shut up after the last time he woke DS. He wants to talk and kiss and count toes and none of those things help a tired baby sleep!
In the bed which resulted to me sleeping on the couch. Screw you seriously