1. It's rude to give instructions to your guests on how to present a gift, put stipulations on gifts, etc., gifts shouldn't even be mentioned on an invitation.
2. Since a shower is a gift giving event. It's truly the sole purpose (to shower the MTB with gifts to care for her baby) it's expected that gifts will be opened.
So...real question not trying to be inflammatory, what happens when the mom really doesn't want to be doing this but everyone is pressuring her into having a shower? Because to me it has felt more like my F&F will be offended either way (not having a shower and not opening gifts). Like they want a celebration and if I don't want one then I'm ruining their good time or whatever. Very grateful to my hosts though who are taking on a real task (which I also feel kind of bad about since I'm lukewarm on the whole thing).
This is my problem with all these etiquette rules, they feel antiquated and for another time. It feels more engineered to make the guests feel good about giving you stuff then an actual celebration of the baby (or bride) (along with the ad nauseum thanking in person, when they leave, in a note, taking a picture of the baby using it later). I was always taught that a gift is a gift I give with no strings or expectations attached but at these events someone showing up with a dollar onesie needs to be fawned over so they can see me 'light up.' Is also weirdly competitive.
If this is how you really feel, then you should just decline the shower. As an adult, you should be able to just say no. People have babies without having a shower all the time.
The only thing I requested was deviled eggs haha I'm pumped to open gifts in front of everyone and to write out all the thank you cards! I was offered a gender reveal party but I declined because to me they're silly and redundant.
The best part about a baby shower is the food. Let's all get together throw a huge baby shower and eat all the food together. Sounds good to me. @CEB37@BrooklynBroussard@csy2947
The first thing I asked when my sister told me the date of the baby shower she was having for me was "What kind of food will be there? And more specifically, what kind of dessert?"
Food seems to be the #1 thing on my mind while pregnant!
1. It's rude to give instructions to your guests on how to present a gift, put stipulations on gifts, etc., gifts shouldn't even be mentioned on an invitation.
2. Since a shower is a gift giving event. It's truly the sole purpose (to shower the MTB with gifts to care for her baby) it's expected that gifts will be opened.
So...real question not trying to be inflammatory, what happens when the mom really doesn't want to be doing this but everyone is pressuring her into having a shower? Because to me it has felt more like my F&F will be offended either way (not having a shower and not opening gifts). Like they want a celebration and if I don't want one then I'm ruining their good time or whatever. Very grateful to my hosts though who are taking on a real task (which I also feel kind of bad about since I'm lukewarm on the whole thing).
This is my problem with all these etiquette rules, they feel antiquated and for another time. It feels more engineered to make the guests feel good about giving you stuff then an actual celebration of the baby (or bride) (along with the ad nauseum thanking in person, when they leave, in a note, taking a picture of the baby using it later). I was always taught that a gift is a gift I give with no strings or expectations attached but at these events someone showing up with a dollar onesie needs to be fawned over so they can see me 'light up.' Is also weirdly competitive.
If you truly do not want a shower than for all means refuse it and suggest a baby meet once they baby is born. But if you agree to a shower the main purpose of a shower is to shower the mom with gifts. It will be seen as rude to most people attending not to open the gifts during the party. If you feel like you don't like the pressure of the gift opening but also do not want to insult people by refusing, I suggest having a game that goes along with the gift opening like baby bingo. We played it at my shower and it made it so people weren't just sitting there staring at me the whole time. We played the first 4 people to get bingo got a prize and then there was a coverall prize. People seemed to like it.
I don't want a shower this time around, just a diaper keg party (pretty common where I live), is it tacky to throw one of those? We've done keg parties in the past and charged money for a cup but instead they pay with a bag of diapers... Rude or okay?
I don't want a shower this time around, just a diaper keg party (pretty common where I live), is it tacky to throw one of those? We've done keg parties in the past and charged money for a cup but instead they pay with a bag of diapers... Rude or okay?
I think if you are old enough to have children than inviting people to a party and charging them to drink is strange whether it's money or diapers.
I don't want a shower this time around, just a diaper keg party (pretty common where I live), is it tacky to throw one of those? We've done keg parties in the past and charged money for a cup but instead they pay with a bag of diapers... Rude or okay?
I think if you are old enough to have children than inviting people to a party and charging them to drink is strange whether it's money or diapers.
This.
What was okay at a Frat Kegger is not okay as an adult with children.
I don't want a shower this time around, just a diaper keg party (pretty common where I live), is it tacky to throw one of those? We've done keg parties in the past and charged money for a cup but instead they pay with a bag of diapers... Rude or okay?
I have a neighbor throwing a "huggies and Chuggies
Sorry- posted too soon. They are throwing a huggies and chuggies party for us. I think it is ok but had someone else on here tell me no. Where I live, there are a lot of people having them so I don't see a problem with it.
It's fine. I've been to several parties where they provide the drinks and we bring a pack of diapers. If you and your friends are comfortable with it, do what you want. A lot of these "tacky" things can vary based on where you're from.
Re: Nobody has offered to throw a shower