We were supposed to pick a code word for an epidural! The doula who ran our "coping with confidence" class said we should have a word that meant I was serious. At the time I thought it was stupid, but maybe there's something to it! Hmmm. Now to pick a good one.
We were supposed to pick a code word for an epidural! The doula who ran our "coping with confidence" class said we should have a word that meant I was serious. At the time I thought it was stupid, but maybe there's something to it! Hmmm. Now to pick a good one.
We need to pick one too. Our friends used "Go Pats!" Because it's something that my friend would never, ever say
not sure if a real rant, just like a minor annoyance. but basically DH isnt helping out much in cleaning regards. apparently its been my "turn" to do the dishes for the past few months.. but i was not told? so ive just been washing things as i need them thinking that he was going to wash them. i dont want to ask him to do them either because he always works like everyday and i dont really do much anymore now that im off work. i guess it just sucks being the one who cooks and washes laundry and sometimes i pack him a lunch but he wont do the dishes when he sees them piled up. like it feels like i do so much, but im sure looking at it from an outside view i dont do a lot.
actual rant: i did like 4 loads of laundry the other day and separated DH's clothes so he can sort through them (most of his stuff has holes/is getting too tight) and its been sitting there in the living room for about a week now. just undealt with. he'll pull stuff out of the 2 baskets.. but not actually deal with it all. and i cant do a load of my laundry because i have no basket still.
This weekend I decided I was going to make a conscious effort not to nag DH as much. I feel like I have been a lot lately and also like I haven't been acknowledging the helpful things he does do, so this weekend I decided to try to turn that around. Wow, did that make a difference! He made dinner both tonight and last night, he put our baby swing together today, did the dishes tonight, and now he's cleaning the floors - the only thing I actually asked him to do was clean the floors, and I only asked once. I asked a few days ago and they're only getting done now, but at least they're getting done! He's not perfect, but clearly, neither am I. I guess I needed a reminder of that!
This morning hubs and I went out for breakfast. This place also makes their own candy, and fudge. We're settling up the bill and buying a few pieces of candy (initiated by him, actually!) and I see two one inch square pieces of chocolate peanut butter fudge in the display. I tell him 'and these, too' and go back to go pee before we leave. Well, I just opened the little box, and there is only one piece of fudge there. ONE. Even if he misheard me, dude - there was only 2 pieces left. Just buy them both.
FI had some meetings/errands in his hometown for work today. He left at 1130, said he'd be home around 6. Then he called and said he stopped by his friend's to visit. Fine. Then he called and said they were playing frolf. Fine. Then he called and said they were grilling. Fine... Even though I made dinner. Then he called and said they were going fishing. FINE!!!! He should be home any minute but I'm tempted to take the dog for a long walk so I'm not here when he gets home, 1. Because I know I will sass him no matter how hard I try not to and 2. To freak him out just a little.
Super annoyed with hubby right now! I ask him to feel the baby move and he puts his hand on my tummy for like a millisecond before saying "oh yea there he is" then even quicker turning around and watching tv!!! Seriously??? You did not feel shit!!! Then to make matters worse he asks me to massage his hand while he lays there watching tv and doing nothing??!!! Maybe I'm just grouchy, or it's the hormones, maybe this should go under the "angry pregnant ladies" thread... Really I just need to vent!!!
@PhoenixFrances I know some men get a little freaked out feeling a baby move inside their SO's belly. My DH is one of these guys but it still makes me sad. He completely avoids touching me because it creeps him out. The other night he actually spooned me for the first time in forever. Of course baby girl kicked so hard that it woke him up. He freaked out and ended up sleeping in the edge of the bed for the rest of the night. I feel like he has zero interest in the baby, which I know isn't true. I think if he could just get over it he would actually enjoy feeling her move around in there.
@PhoenixFrances I know some men get a little freaked out feeling a baby move inside their SO's belly. My DH is one of these guys but it still makes me sad. He completely avoids touching me because it creeps him out. The other night he actually spooned me for the first time in forever. Of course baby girl kicked so hard that it woke him up. He freaked out and ended up sleeping in the edge of the bed for the rest of the night. I feel like he has zero interest in the baby, which I know isn't true. I think if he could just get over it he would actually enjoy feeling her move around in there.
That could be it although he has never said so. It is a little saddening and I miss the close time with him. Just waiting for this little guy to arrive!!
DH and DS just left for a trip to WI. Which means I have a week to sleep when and where I want, eat what I want (without sharing) and catch up with girlfriends. Bliss! As long as I don't go into labor, that is.
DH will be gone for our anniversary but he bought me a prenatal massage to make up for it. I love that man!
Oooooooh DH is on thin ice right now. I had to work late and I am starving (not new to anyone here!) and so o ask if he can tidy up the kitchen so I can make dinner when I get home. Note I didn't ask him to make dinner. Which is really what I wanted to ask. He texts me back saying "It's really hot" and "he had duties to take care of" like working on the garden. I get nauseated when I'm overly hungry this pregnancy which is not news to him. We get into a fight about finding me food like once a week. So now I know I'm going to get home, be b*tchy, probably cry, and the night will be ruined. Way to go DH!
And of course I passive aggressively replied "fine I'll just make frozen pizza and a salad. Whatever".
I have a ten minute drive home right now to decide whether or not to give him sh*t about this....
@hoodoll82 my husband now knows that weekend breakfast must come before 10am after having this same fight! Can you get or order takeaway only for you!! That'll show him! Feeling really aggressive today.
I wish I could say something nice about my DH, but everything he does pisses me off!!! :-q I would give details but I know I've complained about him before... I'm having a repeat C-section on Monday and his last day of work is tomorrow (he's a teacher). I would love more than anything to check into a hotel for the weekend as soon as he comes home. I need a relaxing weekend before this baby arrives!!
Oooooooh DH is on thin ice right now. I had to work late and I am starving (not new to anyone here!) and so o ask if he can tidy up the kitchen so I can make dinner when I get home. Note I didn't ask him to make dinner. Which is really what I wanted to ask. He texts me back saying "It's really hot" and "he had duties to take care of" like working on the garden. I get nauseated when I'm overly hungry this pregnancy which is not news to him. We get into a fight about finding me food like once a week. So now I know I'm going to get home, be b*tchy, probably cry, and the night will be ruined. Way to go DH!
And of course I passive aggressively replied "fine I'll just make frozen pizza and a salad. Whatever".
I have a ten minute drive home right now to decide whether or not to give him sh*t about this....
And what an addendum (hint: I'm an as*hole): I get home, decide to be a little pissy and throw a few things around. He's like "Are you mad at me? Sorry. I've been on the phone with my mom for a bit. My grandfather is having a serious health issue and could die from it."
So yeah, I had to take this one on the chin (even though that call happened AFTER he blew me off!). I let him talk things out and we went to Taco Bell. All is well (at least with he and I). Some thing are more important than me being hangry!
But yeah now we are dealing with the news about his grandfather too.... DH's mom didn't want to "burden" us with it given the pregnancy and our stress I guess but I hope she doesn't feel like it's a burden to keep us informed so we can be helpful as we can!
Today DH would not stop calling to check up on me. Yes I get annoyed but it's also super sweet that he cares and I can tell he's super anxious about having another baby.
Does anyone's DH/SO vape/ or use an ecig? I'm 39 weeks as of today and till this day my DH vapes like a freakin chimney around me, in the house, and in the car... There's the big controversies that's is safer than actual cigarettes and blah blah but the smell of of it has made me nauseated since the first trimester of my pregnancy and especially when my allergies are acting up .. Although I beg and plea for him to not do it around me he still does it.. Even for our LO sake... He swears he'll stop once she's out but I doubt that... So frustrating and annoying, he wonders why he has sinus issues and coughing fits... Please tell me I'm not the only one suffering in a vape cloud
DH shattered his kneecap riding his bicycle home from work (WTF? We live in NyC, what was he thinking?) and has been in a hip-to-toe legbrace for the last 2 weeks. I am 36w3 pregnant! He cant drive, walk, walk the dogs, etc and I have to serve all his meals on a tray. I am sucking it up and being sweet but I really resent that he isn't there to offer me physical support right now and that all the extra attention and energy is going to nursing him instead of resting for labor and delivery. Sigh... Also, the complaining is a drag. I have been pregnant for 9 months and I am hot and huge and suck it up, but he's all "my knee,my knee" right now.
My DH has been working crazy hours lately - 12-15 hours a day, 5-7 days a week - and I guess I've been missing him. He's taken today off sick - not sure how much is viral and how much is pure fatigue - and it's a little selfish but I'm kinda enjoying having him here. We're having a pretty quiet day - I'm cooking while he watches bad movies on the couch - but it's just nice to spend some time with him. His paternity leave starts in a week (on my due date) and I'm kinda hoping go a bit overdue so we have a few days of just the two of us without kids and grandparents.
DH shattered his kneecap riding his bicycle home from work (WTF? We live in NyC, what was he thinking?) and has been in a hip-to-toe legbrace for the last 2 weeks. I am 36w3 pregnant! He cant drive, walk, walk the dogs, etc and I have to serve all his meals on a tray. I am sucking it up and being sweet but I really resent that he isn't there to offer me physical support right now and that all the extra attention and energy is going to nursing him instead of resting for labor and delivery. Sigh... Also, the complaining is a drag. I have been pregnant for 9 months and I am hot and huge and suck it up, but he's all "my knee,my knee" right now.
yeah the mostly frequently used works by my DH are "babe im so tired, you have no idea" like.. hold on what? i have no idea how tired you are? please elaborate. i get that he is tired and gets to complain.. but like.. i have NO IDEA?
DH shattered his kneecap riding his bicycle home from work (WTF? We live in NyC, what was he thinking?) and has been in a hip-to-toe legbrace for the last 2 weeks. I am 36w3 pregnant! He cant drive, walk, walk the dogs, etc and I have to serve all his meals on a tray. I am sucking it up and being sweet but I really resent that he isn't there to offer me physical support right now and that all the extra attention and energy is going to nursing him instead of resting for labor and delivery. Sigh... Also, the complaining is a drag. I have been pregnant for 9 months and I am hot and huge and suck it up, but he's all "my knee,my knee" right now.
Omg!! You have all my sympathies and I definitely think you're allowed to complain... But a shattered kneecap sounds horrific, so no wonder he's complaining, too! I'm so sorry for both of you!! What an awful time. Hang in there! Hope some of those great NYC delivery services can make your lives a bit easier.
Does anyone's DH/SO vape/ or use an ecig? I'm 39 weeks as of today and till this day my DH vapes like a freakin chimney around me, in the house, and in the car... There's the big controversies that's is safer than actual cigarettes and blah blah but the smell of of it has made me nauseated since the first trimester of my pregnancy and especially when my allergies are acting up .. Although I beg and plea for him to not do it around me he still does it.. Even for our LO sake... He swears he'll stop once she's out but I doubt that... So frustrating and annoying, he wonders why he has sinus issues and coughing fits... Please tell me I'm not the only one suffering in a vape cloud
Not my DH but I worked in a bar until beginning of May and I had customers who would come in and vape and were constantly blowing it behind the bar (at me, essentially). My manager would be like - oh it completely harmless, its just vapor. And I'm like - no, its not just vapor. You know how I know that? It smells. Vapor doesn't smell. Its odorless. Steam is a vapor, and steam doesn't smell. She never really did anything about it so finally one day when I was working I was just said to them - "can we please not blow smoke at the pregnant lady, here?" So I feel ya. I did used to smoke cigarettes but even then I felt that people who vape should have to step outside like the rest of us.
Does anyone's DH/SO vape/ or use an ecig? I'm 39 weeks as of today and till this day my DH vapes like a freakin chimney around me, in the house, and in the car... There's the big controversies that's is safer than actual cigarettes and blah blah but the smell of of it has made me nauseated since the first trimester of my pregnancy and especially when my allergies are acting up .. Although I beg and plea for him to not do it around me he still does it.. Even for our LO sake... He swears he'll stop once she's out but I doubt that... So frustrating and annoying, he wonders why he has sinus issues and coughing fits... Please tell me I'm not the only one suffering in a vape cloud
Not my DH but I worked in a bar until beginning of May and I had customers who would come in and vape and were constantly blowing it behind the bar (at me, essentially). My manager would be like - oh it completely harmless, its just vapor. And I'm like - no, its not just vapor. You know how I know that? It smells. Vapor doesn't smell. Its odorless. Steam is a vapor, and steam doesn't smell. She never really did anything about it so finally one day when I was working I was just said to them - "can we please not blow smoke at the pregnant lady, here?" So I feel ya. I did used to smoke cigarettes but even then I felt that people who vape should have to step outside like the rest of us.
Ugh yes on people who vape needing to step outside! I worked as a hostess at Chili's throughout college and every so often we'd have someone vape at the bar. It would ALWAYS upset other customers and the rest of us, even the smokers - actually, I think it especially bothered the smokers because half the time they were waiting for a smoke break and I think the vapers just made that urge worse. But management always claimed they couldn't ask them to stop because it's legal to vape inside since it's different from smoking.
Personally, I've never vaped, but I have smoked on occasion and I doubt there's much of a difference. But I guess there's enough of one for people to get away with doing it inside for now. I'm hoping that changes soon though. Even if it truly isn't unhealthy, it's a nuisance for everyone else.
so.. last night my "D"H decided he was going to go out to the pub for karaoke with our roommate and another mutual friend. all fine and dandy despite him saying like 20 weeks ago that he wasnt going to drink while im pregnant.. well guess who is no where to be found at 5 in the morning. ive gotten 0 texts, 0 messages no word on where he is or why he is out still when the pub closed over 3 hours ago. seeing as its now 5:30 as im posting this. like yeah we arent on great waters right now. but i am fuming. tempted to push the dresser in front of the door incase he decides he did nothing wrong and wants to cuddle or some shit. i have told him time and time again to let me know what he is up to. to send me a quick text even if im sleeping. but noooope.
FIL is coming this weekend to pick up DH's old jeep so he can sell it. It's still in FIL's name and it's been sitting in our parking lot for almost six months while we've been waiting for him to come get it after DH bought a new car - I didn't want DH driving it back to our hometown because the heating core is broken and the windows would fog up in the winter, and then once the weather warmed up I didn't want DH leaving me for a whole weekend so he could take it back. It's finally being taken care of and now I don't have to feel guilty about parking 3 cars in our building's lot, which has about 12 spaces.
Anyway, last night we were talking about when we want baby to come. As I've said many times, I'm hoping she comes on or after EDD, but DH wants her here NOW. Well, last night I asked DH, "What happens I go into labor before your dad gets here?" I was asking because FIL is taking the megabus to where we live and DH is supposed to pick him up from downtown at 11PM - but if LO comes before that, what happens? Does FIL wait downtown, does DH leave me during labor to pick up FIL, do we call (and pay for) a cab, etc... I was just looking for a plan in the event that this would happen, but then DH went on a rant about how he doesn't understand why I'm so concerned about other people being here while I'm in labor (his friend visited last week and, at 38+ weeks, I was a bit concerned about it then, too). Well, a) that's not why I was asking, but b) Idk, maybe because I'm going to be in pain and I don't want to have to worry about guests when I'm trying to push out a baby?!
Ugh. Not a big deal and DH and I have moved past the discussion as far as not being mad at each other goes, but clearly I'm still dwelling on it. DH has been really good about cooperating about having things however I want as far as L&D and visitors after baby's birth goes, but it does upset me that he's not really trying to understand why I might not want to have visitors - especially male visitors - at this time. Especially since I didn't put up a fuss about FIL staying here this weekend, even though it's definitely not my idea of an ideal situation since the man is incredibly hard to deal with (even DH agrees with me on this point). All I can do is hope and pray that LO waits until after FIL leaves tomorrow afternoon to decide to arrive!
So on Tuesday before he went back on duty for Wednesday and Thursday, hubs tell me that we're going to go mini golfing today after he gets off work at the Y. I'm all internally 'oh yay, I love mini golfing and it'll be like our last date night, tons of fun, hooray!' :x So I tell him yeah, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And then he comes out with "yeah, Marshall and I decided that we wanted to do a mini golf tour of the places around here, so we'll go and play one place, then play the next, and we'll have you to drive us so we can drink". :-w
So on Tuesday before he went back on duty for Wednesday and Thursday, hubs tell me that we're going to go mini golfing today after he gets off work at the Y. I'm all internally 'oh yay, I love mini golfing and it'll be like our last date night, tons of fun, hooray!' :x So I tell him yeah, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And then he comes out with "yeah, Marshall and I decided that we wanted to do a mini golf tour of the places around here, so we'll go and play one place, then play the next, and we'll have you to drive us so we can drink". :-w
Oh, boo, that's no fun!! would he be open to changing the plans to just the two of you? Or planning something else for tomorrow or something for just the two of you?
So on Tuesday before he went back on duty for Wednesday and Thursday, hubs tell me that we're going to go mini golfing today after he gets off work at the Y. I'm all internally 'oh yay, I love mini golfing and it'll be like our last date night, tons of fun, hooray!' :x So I tell him yeah, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And then he comes out with "yeah, Marshall and I decided that we wanted to do a mini golf tour of the places around here, so we'll go and play one place, then play the next, and we'll have you to drive us so we can drink". :-w
"""Oh, boo, that's no fun!! would he be open to changing the plans to just the two of you? Or planning something else for tomorrow or something for just the two of you? """
Tomorrow we need to do some house stuff, and he has to work at the Y again. Also if they do proceed with this plan today, I'm not gonna be into it tomorrow. But, the boys flake on each other half the time, so its possible I may not be chauffeuring them around all night. Or the weather may work with me, we're forecast for showers and possible thunderstorms
So on Tuesday before he went back on duty for Wednesday and Thursday, hubs tell me that we're going to go mini golfing today after he gets off work at the Y. I'm all internally 'oh yay, I love mini golfing and it'll be like our last date night, tons of fun, hooray!' :x So I tell him yeah, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And then he comes out with "yeah, Marshall and I decided that we wanted to do a mini golf tour of the places around here, so we'll go and play one place, then play the next, and we'll have you to drive us so we can drink". :-w
"""Oh, boo, that's no fun!! would he be open to changing the plans to just the two of you? Or planning something else for tomorrow or something for just the two of you?
"""
Tomorrow we need to do some house stuff, and he has to work at the Y again. Also if they do proceed with this plan today, I'm not gonna be into it tomorrow. But, the boys flake on each other half the time, so its possible I may not be chauffeuring them around all night. Or the weather may work with me, we're forecast for showers and possible thunderstormsthunderstorms
Edited, quote box fail
I hope the weather works out / boys cancel, then! and I hope that you and your husband end up taking advantage of whichever scenario to spend some quality time together
I get very hot and like the fans on in the rooms I am in. We go to sleep with the fan on but I guess in the mornings DH gets cold when he gets out of the shower so he turns the fan off while I'm sleeping. I wake up in the morning sweating and I have asked him not to do this a few times. Yet again today I wake up sweating be the fan is off. And he moves the stupid fan remote to the other side of the room so I have to get out of bed to turn it back in
So on Tuesday before he went back on duty for Wednesday and Thursday, hubs tell me that we're going to go mini golfing today after he gets off work at the Y. I'm all internally 'oh yay, I love mini golfing and it'll be like our last date night, tons of fun, hooray!' :x So I tell him yeah, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And then he comes out with "yeah, Marshall and I decided that we wanted to do a mini golf tour of the places around here, so we'll go and play one place, then play the next, and we'll have you to drive us so we can drink". :-w
"""Oh, boo, that's no fun!! would he be open to changing the plans to just the two of you? Or planning something else for tomorrow or something for just the two of you?
"""
Tomorrow we need to do some house stuff, and he has to work at the Y again. Also if they do proceed with this plan today, I'm not gonna be into it tomorrow. But, the boys flake on each other half the time, so its possible I may not be chauffeuring them around all night. Or the weather may work with me, we're forecast for showers and possible thunderstormsthunderstorms
Edited, quote box fail
I hope the weather works out / boys cancel, then! and I hope that you and your husband end up taking advantage of whichever scenario to spend some quality time together
Me too! Why are boys so flakey, btw? When chicks make plans... It's like they're made with permanent marker!
@JessHeppell - Did he show? I'd throw his balls in my purse. So inconsiderate!!
FIL is coming this weekend to pick up DH's old jeep so he can sell it. It's still in FIL's name and it's been sitting in our parking lot for almost six months while we've been waiting for him to come get it after DH bought a new car - I didn't want DH driving it back to our hometown because the heating core is broken and the windows would fog up in the winter, and then once the weather warmed up I didn't want DH leaving me for a whole weekend so he could take it back. It's finally being taken care of and now I don't have to feel guilty about parking 3 cars in our building's lot, which has about 12 spaces.
Anyway, last night we were talking about when we want baby to come. As I've said many times, I'm hoping she comes on or after EDD, but DH wants her here NOW. Well, last night I asked DH, "What happens I go into labor before your dad gets here?" I was asking because FIL is taking the megabus to where we live and DH is supposed to pick him up from downtown at 11PM - but if LO comes before that, what happens? Does FIL wait downtown, does DH leave me during labor to pick up FIL, do we call (and pay for) a cab, etc... I was just looking for a plan in the event that this would happen, but then DH went on a rant about how he doesn't understand why I'm so concerned about other people being here while I'm in labor (his friend visited last week and, at 38+ weeks, I was a bit concerned about it then, too). Well, a) that's not why I was asking, but b) Idk, maybe because I'm going to be in pain and I don't want to have to worry about guests when I'm trying to push out a baby?!
Ugh. Not a big deal and DH and I have moved past the discussion as far as not being mad at each other goes, but clearly I'm still dwelling on it. DH has been really good about cooperating about having things however I want as far as L&D and visitors after baby's birth goes, but it does upset me that he's not really trying to understand why I might not want to have visitors - especially male visitors - at this time. Especially since I didn't put up a fuss about FIL staying here this weekend, even though it's definitely not my idea of an ideal situation since the man is incredibly hard to deal with (even DH agrees with me on this point). All I can do is hope and pray that LO waits until after FIL leaves tomorrow afternoon to decide to arrive!
Can the two of you discuss a no-visitors policy for the rest of your pregnancy?? I'm 37+ and I can't imagine having to house someone (even family) right now. #nope
FIL is coming this weekend to pick up DH's old jeep so he can sell it. It's still in FIL's name and it's been sitting in our parking lot for almost six months while we've been waiting for him to come get it after DH bought a new car - I didn't want DH driving it back to our hometown because the heating core is broken and the windows would fog up in the winter, and then once the weather warmed up I didn't want DH leaving me for a whole weekend so he could take it back. It's finally being taken care of and now I don't have to feel guilty about parking 3 cars in our building's lot, which has about 12 spaces.
Anyway, last night we were talking about when we want baby to come. As I've said many times, I'm hoping she comes on or after EDD, but DH wants her here NOW. Well, last night I asked DH, "What happens I go into labor before your dad gets here?" I was asking because FIL is taking the megabus to where we live and DH is supposed to pick him up from downtown at 11PM - but if LO comes before that, what happens? Does FIL wait downtown, does DH leave me during labor to pick up FIL, do we call (and pay for) a cab, etc... I was just looking for a plan in the event that this would happen, but then DH went on a rant about how he doesn't understand why I'm so concerned about other people being here while I'm in labor (his friend visited last week and, at 38+ weeks, I was a bit concerned about it then, too). Well, a) that's not why I was asking, but b) Idk, maybe because I'm going to be in pain and I don't want to have to worry about guests when I'm trying to push out a baby?!
Ugh. Not a big deal and DH and I have moved past the discussion as far as not being mad at each other goes, but clearly I'm still dwelling on it. DH has been really good about cooperating about having things however I want as far as L&D and visitors after baby's birth goes, but it does upset me that he's not really trying to understand why I might not want to have visitors - especially male visitors - at this time. Especially since I didn't put up a fuss about FIL staying here this weekend, even though it's definitely not my idea of an ideal situation since the man is incredibly hard to deal with (even DH agrees with me on this point). All I can do is hope and pray that LO waits until after FIL leaves tomorrow afternoon to decide to arrive!
Can the two of you discuss a no-visitors policy for the rest of your pregnancy?? I'm 37+ and I can't imagine having to house someone (even family) right now. #nope
Thankfully I don't *think* it will be an issue since I'm due in 4 days... I would've said no to these two that we've had, but DH had been dying to have his friend visit since we moved out here, and I've been dying to get this jeep out of here and this is the first time FIL has actually shown any initiative in actually following through with what he's been promising to do since January. So I didn't feel like I could say no to either. But if any other visitors come up before LO arrives I'm putting my foot down. Ditto for after she's here, too - I'm fine with my mom, sisters, MIL, and SIL coming if they're coming for the sake of helping, but no guys till I'm 100% comfortable with breastfeeding (which has been another contested issue, but that's another story!).
FIL is coming this weekend to pick up DH's old jeep so he can sell it. It's still in FIL's name and it's been sitting in our parking lot for almost six months while we've been waiting for him to come get it after DH bought a new car - I didn't want DH driving it back to our hometown because the heating core is broken and the windows would fog up in the winter, and then once the weather warmed up I didn't want DH leaving me for a whole weekend so he could take it back. It's finally being taken care of and now I don't have to feel guilty about parking 3 cars in our building's lot, which has about 12 spaces.
Anyway, last night we were talking about when we want baby to come. As I've said many times, I'm hoping she comes on or after EDD, but DH wants her here NOW. Well, last night I asked DH, "What happens I go into labor before your dad gets here?" I was asking because FIL is taking the megabus to where we live and DH is supposed to pick him up from downtown at 11PM - but if LO comes before that, what happens? Does FIL wait downtown, does DH leave me during labor to pick up FIL, do we call (and pay for) a cab, etc... I was just looking for a plan in the event that this would happen, but then DH went on a rant about how he doesn't understand why I'm so concerned about other people being here while I'm in labor (his friend visited last week and, at 38+ weeks, I was a bit concerned about it then, too). Well, a) that's not why I was asking, but b) Idk, maybe because I'm going to be in pain and I don't want to have to worry about guests when I'm trying to push out a baby?!
Ugh. Not a big deal and DH and I have moved past the discussion as far as not being mad at each other goes, but clearly I'm still dwelling on it. DH has been really good about cooperating about having things however I want as far as L&D and visitors after baby's birth goes, but it does upset me that he's not really trying to understand why I might not want to have visitors - especially male visitors - at this time. Especially since I didn't put up a fuss about FIL staying here this weekend, even though it's definitely not my idea of an ideal situation since the man is incredibly hard to deal with (even DH agrees with me on this point). All I can do is hope and pray that LO waits until after FIL leaves tomorrow afternoon to decide to arrive!
Can the two of you discuss a no-visitors policy for the rest of your pregnancy?? I'm 37+ and I can't imagine having to house someone (even family) right now. #nope
Thankfully I don't *think* it will be an issue since I'm due in 4 days... I would've said no to these two that we've had, but DH had been dying to have his friend visit since we moved out here, and I've been dying to get this jeep out of here and this is the first time FIL has actually shown any initiative in actually following through with what he's been promising to do since January. So I didn't feel like I could say no to either. But if any other visitors come up before LO arrives I'm putting my foot down. Ditto for after she's here, too - I'm fine with my mom, sisters, MIL, and SIL coming if they're coming for the sake of helping, but no guys till I'm 100% comfortable with breastfeeding (which has been another contested issue, but that's another story!).
When MIL kept insisting I was wrong about traveling after baby, I fought her tooth and nail. My child, my rules. Then, one night I approached it in a different way: "I may feel really strongly about this, and you may think I'm crazy, and I may end up changing my mind, but what I really need from you is a cheerleader. I need your support in this, even if you think I'm wrong, and that I'll change my mind. Can you cheer me on in this and help me out here?"
That word cheerleader struck a chord with MIL, and it may help you with DH-- especially if he just completely disagrees. In this, it's not about agreeing, it's about him supporting you and making you feel comfortable. I think the word cheerleader spins it in a positive way without saying "I need your support, you insensitive dolt!"
Re: DH/SO rants or raves? Put them here!
actual rant: i did like 4 loads of laundry the other day and separated DH's clothes so he can sort through them (most of his stuff has holes/is getting too tight) and its been sitting there in the living room for about a week now. just undealt with. he'll pull stuff out of the 2 baskets.. but not actually deal with it all. and i cant do a load of my laundry because i have no basket still.
Sigh... :-<
Edited, I came back and saw typos
DH will be gone for our anniversary but he bought me a prenatal massage to make up for it. I love that man!
And of course I passive aggressively replied "fine I'll just make frozen pizza and a salad. Whatever".
I have a ten minute drive home right now to decide whether or not to give him sh*t about this....
I would give details but I know I've complained about him before... I'm having a repeat C-section on Monday and his last day of work is tomorrow (he's a teacher). I would love more than anything to check into a hotel for the weekend as soon as he comes home. I need a relaxing weekend before this baby arrives!!
I get home, decide to be a little pissy and throw a few things around. He's like "Are you mad at me? Sorry. I've been on the phone with my mom for a bit. My grandfather is having a serious health issue and could die from it."
So yeah, I had to take this one on the chin (even though that call happened AFTER he blew me off!). I let him talk things out and we went to Taco Bell. All is well (at least with he and I). Some thing are more important than me being hangry!
But yeah now we are dealing with the news about his grandfather too.... DH's mom didn't want to "burden" us with it given the pregnancy and our stress I guess but I hope she doesn't feel like it's a burden to keep us informed so we can be helpful as we can!
yeah the mostly frequently used works by my DH are "babe im so tired, you have no idea"
like.. hold on what? i have no idea how tired you are? please elaborate.
i get that he is tired and gets to complain.. but like.. i have NO IDEA?
Personally, I've never vaped, but I have smoked on occasion and I doubt there's much of a difference. But I guess there's enough of one for people to get away with doing it inside for now. I'm hoping that changes soon though. Even if it truly isn't unhealthy, it's a nuisance for everyone else.
well guess who is no where to be found at 5 in the morning. ive gotten 0 texts, 0 messages no word on where he is or why he is out still when the pub closed over 3 hours ago. seeing as its now 5:30 as im posting this.
like yeah we arent on great waters right now. but i am fuming. tempted to push the dresser in front of the door incase he decides he did nothing wrong and wants to cuddle or some shit.
i have told him time and time again to let me know what he is up to. to send me a quick text even if im sleeping. but noooope.
Tomorrow we need to do some house stuff, and he has to work at the Y again. Also if they do proceed with this plan today, I'm not gonna be into it tomorrow. But, the boys flake on each other half the time, so its possible I may not be chauffeuring them around all night. Or the weather may work with me, we're forecast for showers and possible thunderstorms
Edited, quote box fail
Me too! Why are boys so flakey, btw? When chicks make plans... It's like they're made with permanent marker!
@JessHeppell - Did he show? I'd throw his balls in my purse. So inconsiderate!!
"I may feel really strongly about this, and you may think I'm crazy, and I may end up changing my mind, but what I really need from you is a cheerleader. I need your support in this, even if you think I'm wrong, and that I'll change my mind. Can you cheer me on in this and help me out here?"
That word cheerleader struck a chord with MIL, and it may help you with DH-- especially if he just completely disagrees. In this, it's not about agreeing, it's about him supporting you and making you feel comfortable. I think the word cheerleader spins it in a positive way without saying "I need your support, you insensitive dolt!"