Isn't this a support group?

AllieVB89 · December 2014

I've been keeping quiet over a post I saw that upset me. It was a PSA about people being bloated and not showing. I myself had mad a post about showing early. The bloating is a sign of your pregnancy, I don't know about everyone else but my stomach didn't look like this when I was bloated before. Everyone is different and signs come at different times. It just bothers me how everyone went mean girls on that post joining in. I didn't do the birth club month with my last pregnancy because I just didn't have time, I honestly don't have time now but I want to share my excitement with others and am disheartened by post like that. Perhaps this club isn't for me. I might just have to annoy my Facebook friends and family with little details all the time.

Mei&Mei · December 2014

Or you can write a blog with those tiny details if you think it might annoy your friends/family. Then it's recorded for you to look back over later, if you wish and people can check it out if they want. It's your own space.

Having said that, if you are reasonable, I find that this a great place for support, advice and even inane chatter.

bosco213 · December 2014

Oh please. Go to BabyCenter if you want rainbows and butterflies. This is a very supportive group of women and you need to give support to get support.

The overall vibe of the Bump is definitely snarky. We're not "mean girls", there is just little tolerance for posts like that (and: guess the gender of my baby! and I'm sure countless others as our pregnancies progress). Posters who can't take legitimate feedback (ex: it is factually not a bump, it's bloat) and get all butthurt are the ones that find that this community is not the best for them.

Most importantly you need to remember that this is a COMMUNITY, unlike BabyCenter and BabyGaga. This isn't a place where you fly-by and post every silly question that pops into your head. We like posters who participate in all types of post on the board and don't use this is a second Google. There are daily symptoms threads and "randoms" threads if you feel like you need to use this forum as a diary.

Please lurk here and get a vibe for the board before you post anymore. If you don't like the vibe here, there are many other online forums for pregnancy, but we are not going to change.

And when you get ripped to shreds for this post, take it graciously if you want to be a welcome member here.

ETA: don't even with the "I don't have time!" shit. Then why are you here? We're all busy with busy lives but make time for this community because it's important to us. Some people post more than others. Saying you're busy doesn't give you the right to be a drive-by.

AllieVB89 · December 2014

LOL I'm not blog worthy. I see myself as reasonable but I needed to say something because (now I didn't go through every page) but I didn't see anyone standing up, just jointing along.

ChristyM87 · December 2014

We do stand up, for an accurate account of what is actually happening to your body with evidence. We don't support people who are 3 minutes pregnant who say they are showing because it simply isn't true

bosco213 · December 2014

AllieVB89 said:
LOL I'm not blog worthy. I see myself as reasonable but I needed to say something because (now I didn't go through every page) but I didn't see anyone standing up, just jointing along.

Trust me there are plenty of people like you who "stand up" to us mean girls here on the Bump. If you don't like it, leave. This post will change NOTHING.

Mei&Mei · December 2014

We'll, it's because we are bloated, not showing. That happens at times when you are not pregnant as well.

But yeah, it's a community. We want people to stick around, chat, get to know each other and give others support too. Random people popping in only to ask questions that they could ask their doctor or to simply post a picture for attention are just not welcome. Sooo... Don't do those things and we'll be good.

LLJessR · December 2014

Original Poster - I find it helps to just ignore the posts that bother you. I don't buy the whole "this is a snarky place" thing... Just search for the threads and posts that resonate with you and participate. Someone might pop in with their Holy Message Board Etiquette Doctrines not realizing that not everyone uses message boards on the regular. That's why they might come across as absurd (and a few of them do sound absurd, even to a seasoned message board user such as myself). Just skim through posts. Look for what interests you. (I don't even open the PSA threads.)

kacdanz · December 2014

Don't leave! I found it really weird too how "excited" some of the posters here are to call out someone for getting something wrong (i.e., showing, gender vs. sex) but I got over it because when you think about it's actually lame as hell! It's obvious some people on here ( maybe not in our birth club exactly) that lurk day in and out and majority of their comments are shitty! Well I never cared about fitting in because this is not high school, I'm not pledging a sorority, and I'm damn sure not getting paid for any of this. Don't go anywhere...it seems to be exactly what they want you to do!

abcdefghijk12345678 · December 2014

kacdanz said:
Don't leave! I found it really weird too how "excited" some of the posters here are to call out someone for getting something wrong (i.e., showing, gender vs. sex) but I got over it because when you think about it's actually lame as hell! It's obvious some people on here ( maybe not in our birth club exactly) that lurk day in and out and majority of their comments are shitty! Well I never cared about fitting in because this is not high school, I'm not pledging a sorority, and I'm damn sure not getting paid for any of this. Don't go anywhere...it seems to be exactly what they want you to do!

So you think science and using correct terminology are lame? Cool story.

PS: The people whose comments you don't like really DO belong on this board.

catahoulatte · December 2014

kacdanz said:

Don't leave! I found it really weird too how "excited" some of the posters here are to call out someone for getting something wrong (i.e., showing, gender vs. sex) but I got over it because when you think about it's actually lame as hell! It's obvious some people on here ( maybe not in our birth club exactly) that lurk day in and out and majority of their comments are shitty! Well I never cared about fitting in because this is not high school, I'm not pledging a sorority, and I'm damn sure not getting paid for any of this. Don't go anywhere...it seems to be exactly what they want you to do!

Man, you're fun.

foodie12rn · December 2014

kacdanz said:
Don't leave! I found it really weird too how "excited" some of the posters here are to call out someone for getting something wrong (i.e., showing, gender vs. sex) but I got over it because when you think about it's actually lame as hell! It's obvious some people on here ( maybe not in our birth club exactly) that lurk day in and out and majority of their comments are shitty! Well I never cared about fitting in because this is not high school, I'm not pledging a sorority, and I'm damn sure not getting paid for any of this. Don't go anywhere...it seems to be exactly what they want you to do!

I don't think anyone gets "excited" about calling others out. It's annoying as hell to read the same 5 posts a million times a day. Especially when someone who is asking a legitimate question or is in need of support gets pushed to page 2. It's evident when someone comes in and doesn't read anything before posting, especially when the same exact thing is right there on page 1. Would you walk into a group of friends you didn't know, interrupt, announce your pregnancy and ask some random question? No. What we are trying to do here is create a community. Any community has expectations for its members, and those who don't follow get the side eye, or in this case a little bit of snark. If you don't like it, take your questions to google or Babycenter.

ETA: spelling

catahoulatte · December 2014

chelseamb11 said:

But see, you are reasonable and realize that it is bloat. Showing means that it is uterus/baby. Otherwise you'd be showing when you have your period too (and we all know that's not the case).

This place is extremely supportive when you (general you) give support. We can't give support or get to know one another if people keep posting the exact same threads 5 times a day about m/s, showing, etc. When people do that, we have to weed through post after post to get to the special stuff, so the people who need extra support (like jefa yesterday for example) don't get the support they need. We aren't saying symptoms don't deserve support but that's why we started a symptoms thread, so it's all in one place.

You are like the 10th person since Thanksgiving to scold us for being unsupportive/mean. Trust me.. I can find 10 times more threads of us being supportive than I can of people being snarky.

All of this. I am so done with people whining about mean people. Done. I feel like this is some kind of nightmare nursery school with everyone freaking out about meanies.

kacdanz · December 2014

Again...I'm not going anywhere.

foodie12rn · December 2014

Anyone else?

kacdanz · December 2014

I'm a newbie, this is my 1st pregnancy, and damn it I like puppy farts and rainbows and shit!! And I'm not going anywhere...now let me go and fix my husband or excuse me (DH) some bacon and eggs!!! Good day ladies

abcdefghijk12345678 · December 2014

hoping&waiting12 said:
Anyone else?

So. Many. Post its.

catahoulatte · December 2014

kacdanz said:

I'm a newbie, this is my 1st pregnancy, and damn it I like puppy farts and rainbows and shit!! And I'm not going anywhere...now let me go and fix my husband or excuse me (DH) some bacon and eggs!!! Good day ladies

You don't say.

abcdefghijk12345678 · December 2014

kacdanz said:
I'm a newbie, this is my 1st pregnancy, and damn it I like puppy farts and rainbows and shit!! And I'm not going anywhere...now let me go and fix my husband or excuse me (DH) some bacon and eggs!!! Good day ladies

Fuck off. Don't be complaining that this isn't like BabyCenter when there's an obvious solution.....

foodie12rn · December 2014

kacdanz said:
I'm a newbie, this is my 1st pregnancy, and damn it I like puppy farts and rainbows and shit!! And I'm not going anywhere...now let me go and fix my husband or excuse me (DH) some bacon and eggs!!! Good day ladies

Sounds like Baby Center is calling your name!

OctoberStars · December 2014

I am so tired of people making a post just to tell us how fragile their precious precious feelings are. How are you not embarrassed by publicly declaring that your feelings are hurt by a bunch of strangers?

Ps if your bump isn't a baby, it's bloat! Why is that so hard to understand?! Are you really going to compare your bump to an 8 month pregnant woman like they are remotely similar?

All you people who are skimming posts are completely new to me. Go back to lurking of you have nothing useful to add to the conversation as usual. This is a fucking awesome board and there are zero people here who consistently post mean things. Maybe try skimming through loss posts for a change to get a feel for the support here. And if you are going to call me a meanie pants for this, you were asking for it. Go the fuck away if you don't like it here. Simple!

bosco213 · December 2014

kacdanz said:
I'm a newbie, this is my 1st pregnancy, and damn it I like puppy farts and rainbows and shit!! And I'm not going anywhere...now let me go and fix my husband or excuse me (DH) some bacon and eggs!!! Good day ladies

DO NOT FUCKING EVEN with the 1st pregnancy bullshit.

OctoberStars · December 2014

Should the other 1,100 people that intro'd on the board make a post asking if this is the right group for them? Probably not. That's why it is annoying when people don't just leave if they don't like it here.

The board is what the group makes of it. Check out the #of love tits of you vs. anyone disagreeing with you. I think it's fair to say which tone the majority prefers.

mrstutus · December 2014

I relate this to dealing with my toddler: She asks the same question over and over again. The first time the question is asked, I provide an answer. The second, third, fourth, twentieth time the same question is asked, I encourage her to use her brain, problem solve on her own and find the answer.

The same logic can be applied to this board. Simple as that.

abcdefghijk12345678 · December 2014

wineandwalter said:

estamos_tomamos said:

kacdanz said:
I'm a newbie, this is my 1st pregnancy, and damn it I like puppy farts and rainbows and shit!! And I'm not going anywhere...now let me go and fix my husband or excuse me (DH) some bacon and eggs!!! Good day ladies
So, you know where to go to participate in the kind of community you like, but you refuse to head that way because...?
*****

Reasons. It's always because reasons.

bosco213 · December 2014

I love how OP hadn't come back at all but is posting other threads. About her vag.

AllieVB89 · December 2014

bosco213 said:

I love how OP hadn't come back at all but is posting other threads. About her vag.

Because this thread has turned into something I do not want to be apart of and apparently my vag is more interesting and fun. Quit being so negative. IDK how to delete a post or if it's even possible. But y'all can keep on posting on here this is my last post. I want a positive environment. So continue the hate. I'm going to focus on a different environment. other people have been nice to me. I'm staying.

forevergraceful · December 2014

AllieVB89 said:

bosco213 said:

I love how OP hadn't come back at all but is posting other threads. About her vag.

Because this thread has turned into something I do not want to be apart of and apparently my vag is more interesting and fun. Quit being so negative. IDK how to delete a post or if it's even possible. But y'all can keep on posting on here this is my last post. I want a positive environment. So continue the hate. I'm going to focus on a different environment. other people have been nice to me. I'm staying.

How has this thread turned to something you don't want to be apart of? You started this thread, trying to incite drama. Your thread is more negative than any of the other posts that I have read recently.

abcdefghijk12345678 · December 2014

AllieVB89 said:

bosco213 said:

I love how OP hadn't come back at all but is posting other threads. About her vag.

Because this thread has turned into something I do not want to be apart of and apparently my vag is more interesting and fun. Quit being so negative. IDK how to delete a post or if it's even possible. But y'all can keep on posting on here this is my last post. I want a positive environment. So continue the hate. I'm going to focus on a different environment. other people have been nice to me. I'm staying.

----
If you didn't want these kinds of responses, then you shouldn't have posted this.

OctoberStars · December 2014

bosco213 said:
I love how OP hadn't come back at all but is posting other threads. About her vag.

And how she doesn't understand the acronyms. Classic didn't read the sticky post. Newbies, do yourself a favor and read the sticky post. It definitely helped me when I first joined the bump. There's lots of good info on there.

bosco213 · December 2014

AllieVB89 said:

bosco213 said:

I love how OP hadn't come back at all but is posting other threads. About her vag.

Because this thread has turned into something I do not want to be apart of and apparently my vag is more interesting and fun. Quit being so negative. IDK how to delete a post or if it's even possible. But y'all can keep on posting on here this is my last post. I want a positive environment. So continue the hate. I'm going to focus on a different environment. other people have been nice to me. I'm staying.
--quote fail--
Seriously, what the fuck did you expect? You are seriously obnoxious. And don't go back and delete your post, you've already been quoted. At this point, you're being a troll.

Just GBCB already, please.

thiscoffeechick · December 2014

AllieVB89 said:
I've been keeping quiet over a post I saw that upset me. It was a PSA about people being bloated and not showing. I myself had mad a post about showing early. The bloating is a sign of your pregnancy, I don't know about everyone else but my stomach didn't look like this when I was bloated before. Everyone is different and signs come at different times. It just bothers me how everyone went mean girls on that post joining in. I didn't do the birth club month with my last pregnancy because I just didn't have time, I honestly don't have time now but I want to share my excitement with others and am disheartened by post like that. Perhaps this club isn't for me. I might just have to annoy my Facebook friends and family with little details all the time.

Edit: because Chandler

Bodoni · December 2014

Just so I'm clear on your feelings... You think we should answer every ZOMG! I'm 6 weeks and showing post with unicorn farts and rainbows? If so, I'm pretty sure babycenter is the place for you.

hismunchie · December 2014

I have refrained from commenting on these posts regarding "showing in the first trimester " but this is getting ridiculous. Yes, everyone's body is different as well as everyone's pregnancy but NONE OF US ARE SHOWING. The hormones are slowing down our digestive system so that every drop of nutrients in our food is absorbed to nourish the tiny little person that in most cases is less than 2.5 inches in size. This causes bloating that none of us have experienced unless you've been pregnant before or had digestive issues in the past. This bloating causes you be extremely uncomfortable and your belly to stick out very far but this is not the baby showing. This is just one of the side effects of pregnancy. You're not going to get much sympathy out of this group when you continue to post this nonsense. Please stop.

bumpuser8571475 · December 2014

Damn how did I miss this thread... stupid life getting in the way of bumping...

c-elizabethf · December 2014

Please for the love of cinnamon toast crunch not this crap again.

petrichor14 · December 2014

sandybananas said:

Guise. I have nothing productive to add, but I have to chime in and say how happy (again) I am to be on THIS board. In June15 OPs like this get a million love-tits on their mean girl threads. I lurve July15.

Agreed! My doctor updated my due date to June 30th, but I refuse to go over there. This is where I belong.

Bodoni · December 2014

cgiles120812 said:
Please for the love of cinnamon toast crunch not this crap again.

Haha. I see you haven't had your cinnamon toast crunch yet

c-elizabethf · December 2014

Bodoni said:

cgiles120812 said:
Please for the love of cinnamon toast crunch not this crap again.
Haha. I see you haven't had your cinnamon toast crunch yet

I had 2 giant bowls for dinner last night! It was awesome until I realized the milk made me sick because it was expired lol it sucked.

PrairieGirl45 · December 2014

There are some truly rude nasty people on this board. But I you ignore them and their posts it's good! Just ignore them and their nastiness and focus on the other posts

abcdefghijk12345678 · December 2014

cgiles120812 said:

Bodoni said:

cgiles120812 said:
Please for the love of cinnamon toast crunch not this crap again.
Haha. I see you haven't had your cinnamon toast crunch yet

I had 2 giant bowls for dinner last night! It was awesome until I realized the milk made me sick because it was expired lol it sucked.

Ewwww! Just reading about the expired milk made me gag!

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