Hopefully I won't get a whole lotta "snark" for this question. I keep reading that one reason (and to me the most valid one) that its so frustrating when people take up space to ask a question that has been asked over and over and for which the answer is searchable, is because other post that are from people that need thoughts and prayers and support or have really special things to share are get bumped down. So my question is, why not just "bump" that post and ignore the one you feel is stupid (or whatever you feel it is)? That way the less important one is bumped down by the more important one and when the person doesn't get an answer she will eventually find her answer somewhere else.
Wouldn't that be more conducive to making sure those that need attention get that attention?
I've struggled with the same thing. And I think it is time for me to leave. I appreciate you posting this. I hope you have a smooth, supportive, and joyful pregnancy! ♡ Many blessings!
jefa621 I think you must've misread my question. I asked why not bump the more important threads and ignore the officedronette I get what you are saying, I just don't understand why it would not be considered better to just NOT reply to a thread that you think is stupid than to give it any attention at all. But anyway, just a question/thought as someone new to this site who actually considers herself something like an umm, watermelon (lol, not sure what that is the description I chose, maybe I want some?) in that I am hard on the outside and soft on the inside, I can see how the WAY people respond can seem harsh. It is possible to enlighten someone without being harsh about it, or not enlighten them at all, leave no comment and keep it moving.
How are you doing today @jefa621? I've been thinking about you. Sending you loads of internet hugs.
Better than I thought. But I stayed home from work today so now I'll get to face all kinds of questions when I go back tomorrow. Not looking forward to that.
((Hugs)) @jefa621! Most of my coworkers knew I was pregnant before my m/c in October, and since I work with so many nurses it took weeks for the news to get around. I literally had people ask me about my pg for almost a month afterwards. I hope your coworkers are easy on you. Please be kind to yourself. I'm so happy to see you still hanging around!!
sweetest lovejefa621 I think you must've misread my question. I asked why not bump the more important threads and ignore the officedronette I get what you are saying, I just don't understand why it would not be considered better to just NOT reply to a thread that you think is stupid than to give it any attention at all. But anyway, just a question/thought as someone new to this site who actually considers herself something like an umm, watermelon (lol, not sure what that is the description I chose, maybe I want some?) in that I am hard on the outside and soft on the inside, I can see how the WAY people respond can seem harsh. It is possible to enlighten someone without being harsh about it, or not enlighten them at all, leave no comment and keep it moving. ____quote box fail____
These are valid points. I'd say 90% of the time, the people replying to the lunch meat threads are doing so because they sincerely want the posters to get the hang of the board and contribute to the conversation, you know?
Like, everyone could ignore those posts and not engage those newbs, or they could say, "hey, you didn't do this right, but read this and lurk and stick around". I think the latter option is the nicer one.
Sometimes you'll see people replying to lunch meat threads in a passive-aggressive, sarcastic way, and that's not always extremely helpful. But given the sheer number of lunch meat threads (now my favorite term ever, btw), it's understandable that ppl on here get frustrated.
I do think we could all do a better job of chipping in with the gentle corrections for first-time posters. If more of us do this (I haven't yet), then we're all less likely to get stabby. JM2C.
There are plenty of people on here who do say, "hey there is a search bar:. Or "hey use the random thread" or daily symptom thread". People aren't getting it and are continuing to do what they want to do and that I think is when other people get so called "snarky". It's getting old seeing the same shit posts all the time.
I'm just exhausted from having this same exact conversation over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
And over.
I'm honestly done even defending ourselves. If you don't like it, LEAVE. It's so easy.
Me: 30; DH: 32
Married since 3/15/08.
Pregnancy 1: BFP on 1/24/11 - Molly born on 10/6/11!
Pregnancy 2: BFP on 11/5/14 - Baby #2 due on 7/17/15!
In between pregnancies, I've grown to love my "other" baby. The "carb baby", that's taken permanent residence in my belly, thanks to my overzealous love of bread, pasta and pastries. Hence my name.
@babycarb - it's like beating a dead horse at this point. It's so frustrating! I really enjoy all the regular posters at this point and getting to know everyone (not just baby related, but actually getting to KNOW people), I'm just so sick of the repetitive shit.
@bosco213 when will people understand that no matter WHAT they say, they're NEVER going to change how people act on here?
It's the same thing as sharing a political article on facebook. It's not going to make ANY republican suddenly turn around and become a democrat. And visa versa.
Me: 30; DH: 32
Married since 3/15/08.
Pregnancy 1: BFP on 1/24/11 - Molly born on 10/6/11!
Pregnancy 2: BFP on 11/5/14 - Baby #2 due on 7/17/15!
In between pregnancies, I've grown to love my "other" baby. The "carb baby", that's taken permanent residence in my belly, thanks to my overzealous love of bread, pasta and pastries. Hence my name.
I can TOT see being a bit *clears throat* "firm" with repeat offenders. But for first time posters or those who are new a correction like "hey there is a search bar" or "around these parts we search before we start threads" or something may be helpful so that the community can continue to grow and people won't get scurred off. You never know what a person can offer.
9 times out of 10 I don't want to look or feel like an idiot (just not my thing) by asking a dumb question (because there is such a thing) so I am the type who would rather search for an answer before I ask a question, unfortunately not everyone is that way.
As far as showing right now goes... I WISH that was my excuse... Been waiting since I started trying to have that excuse. And my first prenatal appointment is tomorrow... I'm super nervous. And I know I am going on a tangent but WHATEV!
soflsunshine your comment after your EDIT (words are hard) was hilarious.. gave me a chuckle...
I can TOT see being a bit *clears throat* "firm" with repeat offenders. But for first time posters or those who are new a correction like "hey there is a search bar" or "around these parts we search before we start threads" or something may be helpful so that the community can continue to grow and people won't get scurred off. You never know what a person can offer.
9 times out of 10 I don't want to look or feel like an idiot (just not my thing) by asking a dumb question (because there is such a thing) so I am the type who would rather search for an answer before I ask a question, unfortunately not everyone is that way.
As far as showing right now goes... I WISH that was my excuse... Been waiting since I started trying to have that excuse. And my first prenatal appointment is tomorrow... I'm super nervous. And I know I am going on a tangent but WHATEV!
soflsunshine your comment after your EDIT (words are hard) was hilarious.. gave me a chuckle...
@sweetest love The thing is... most of us do very KINDLY direct people to the search bar and give a gentle reminder for first time posters. That's why I'm just flabbergasted about why we're still called mean girls and hormonal bitches. I've never ONCE seen any of these ladies answer one of these questions with any meanness or name calling.
Me: 30; DH: 32
Married since 3/15/08.
Pregnancy 1: BFP on 1/24/11 - Molly born on 10/6/11!
Pregnancy 2: BFP on 11/5/14 - Baby #2 due on 7/17/15!
In between pregnancies, I've grown to love my "other" baby. The "carb baby", that's taken permanent residence in my belly, thanks to my overzealous love of bread, pasta and pastries. Hence my name.
I can TOT see being a bit *clears throat* "firm" with repeat offenders. But for first time posters or those who are new a correction like "hey there is a search bar" or "around these parts we search before we start threads" or something may be helpful so that the community can continue to grow and people won't get scurred off. You never know what a person can offer.
I've been avoiding posting on this because I want it to go away and stop being bumped to the top. Seriously, I understand what you're saying, but I feel like this has been the case 9 times out of 10 with those repeat questions. People ask the lunch meat question, they're redirected to the search bar and/or newbie blog post, and life moves on. We either have the one where twenty people post behind the redirecting post and answer the question, thus continuing to bump it to the top and edging out the more important questions/need for support posts, or we have the one where the poster gets grouchy about being corrected and either GBCBs or creates some dumbass thread about how everyone here is meanie heads and she's going to fix us all or die trying.
If you want to join the group that tries to redirect the newbies to the search bar and pinned posts that's great, one more will definitely help, but it seems sometimes that it doesn't do anything because it just continues to happen.
I can TOT see being a bit *clears throat* "firm" with repeat offenders. But for first time posters or those who are new a correction like "hey there is a search bar" or "around these parts we search before we start threads" or something may be helpful so that the community can continue to grow and people won't get scurred off. You never know what a person can offer.
Exactly my point! Most of the time people are pretty damn nice about it, but even then you still get hurt feelings.
Instead of making "Mean Girls" posts and trying to WK, people should just help out with educating newbs on how to use the search bar.
@BunkinMama can you pretty please, with glitter and unicorns, to the top thread on our board, after "please read" add "BEFORE POSTING- this means you" ?? I NEVER felt bad on TTGP when some dingdong poster got flamed for posting pee sticks etc because it couldn't have been more clear that they were supposed to READ the newbie blog before posting. Our "please read" might look too much like a suggestion instead of the fucking demand that it really is and I feel like we could cut down on the "You guise are mean girls! I had no idea I should SEARCH before starting a thread asking if it's normal to not have symptoms!" Posts. PLEEEEEASE @BunkinMama ??
This signature is all for YOU. I'm on mobile and can't see crap.
@BunkinMama can you pretty please, with glitter and unicorns, to the top thread on our board, after "please read" add "BEFORE POSTING- this means you" ?? I NEVER felt bad on TTGP when some dingdong poster got flamed for posting pee sticks etc because it couldn't have been more clear that they were supposed to READ the newbie blog before posting. Our "please read" might look too much like a suggestion instead of the fucking demand that it really is and I feel like we could cut down on the "You guise are mean girls! I had no idea I should SEARCH before starting a thread asking if it's normal to not have symptoms!" Posts. PLEEEEEASE @BunkinMama ??
@thiscoffeechick can you check for formatting and if I did anything to mess it up. I edited on mobile. I have the whole after school evening routine going on now. I'll check back after bedtime and a beer. I was out busy today and need to catch up here.
No!!!! It's perfect @BunkinMama you are the BEST!!! You are our favorite! All hail the Lady Pimp Moddess Bunkin Mama!!!!!
This signature is all for YOU. I'm on mobile and can't see crap.
@Flashy@officedronette@anfranklin2@Cassiek90@OctoberStars@ashtog@JustinsLovo@All My Other SANE BMB participant friends!!!! Look what BunkinMama did!!!! She added "BEFORE POSTING" to the "please read" pin on the newbie blog. Now when we get the 100th fucking "my symptoms stopped, what now?" Post we can be like "well, what does it say in the thread titled "please read before posting?"!!!!
This signature is all for YOU. I'm on mobile and can't see crap.
I'm pretty sure it's a simple concept here. I haven't had an issues.... Just don't be fucking stupid or post a ridiculous post such as this one and shit should be peachy for you.
@thiscoffeechick If they stop (or hell, taper significantly), it would be amazing. I really do have a hard time passing by people that are clearly stressed and asking for help, but also, its ridiculous and draining.
Part of this is a me problem. I still get upset that I don't help panhandlers, because I hate hate hate seeing people in need and not doing anything, yet at the same time, I know almost all of them are frauds. And I know this, because I ride the same trains, every day, and the story is exactly the same, every day. Yet still, my heart hurts to be asked for help and do nothing.
Newbies, stop making my heart (and brain) hurt.
Point taken. But that's why I love that the newbie thread TELLS THEM TO READ IT FIRST. It should cut down a little on the bullshit posts and frankly makes me feel less guilty about giving people shit for posting idiotic stuff. Now instead of "snark" which STILL makes them scratch their heads, we go "duh. Read the first post." And anyone with half a brain realizes their mistake and moves on.
This signature is all for YOU. I'm on mobile and can't see crap.
@Flashy@officedronette@anfranklin2@Cassiek90@OctoberStars@ashtog@JustinsLovo@All My Other SANE BMB participant friends!!!!
Look what BunkinMama did!!!! She added "BEFORE POSTING" to the "please read" pin on the newbie blog.
Now when we get the 100th fucking "my symptoms stopped, what now?" Post we can be like "well, what does it say in the thread titled "please read before posting?"!!!!
For the love of everything THANK YOU @bunkinmama !!!!
Also I saw this thread at lunch and thought "nope, no time for dealing with these jackwagons today!"
Married July 19, 2014.
Inherited one stepson, so excited to continue our family!
BFP#1: June 15, 2014. MC June 20, 2014.
BFP#2: July 11, 2014. MMC July 27, 2014. Naturally passed tissue August 5, 2014.
@Flashy@officedronette@anfranklin2@Cassiek90@OctoberStars@ashtog@JustinsLovo@All My Other SANE BMB participant friends!!!! Look what BunkinMama did!!!! She added "BEFORE POSTING" to the "please read" pin on the newbie blog. Now when we get the 100th fucking "my symptoms stopped, what now?" Post we can be like "well, what does it say in the thread titled "please read before posting?"!!!!
@sandybananas and @estamos_tomamos thank you for pointing out wonderful threads to read. Can we start a thread that serves only to point others to hilarious/dramatic happenings on TB?
Re: Isn't this a support group?
Wouldn't that be more conducive to making sure those that need attention get that attention?
Married since May 2008
TTC Since February 2014
^Cherokee Rose (TWD) ^
ETA: tagging Jefa
____quote box fail____
These are valid points. I'd say 90% of the time, the people replying to the lunch meat threads are doing so because they sincerely want the posters to get the hang of the board and contribute to the conversation, you know?
I'm just so sick of the repetitive shit.
DH - 27
TTC #1 since July 2014
9 times out of 10 I don't want to look or feel like an idiot (just not my thing) by asking a dumb question (because there is such a thing) so I am the type who would rather search for an answer before I ask a question, unfortunately not everyone is that way.
As far as showing right now goes... I WISH that was my excuse... Been waiting since I started trying to have that excuse. And my first prenatal appointment is tomorrow... I'm super nervous. And I know I am going on a tangent but WHATEV!
soflsunshine
your comment after your EDIT (words are hard) was hilarious.. gave me a chuckle...
If you want to join the group that tries to redirect the newbies to the search bar and pinned posts that's great, one more will definitely help, but it seems sometimes that it doesn't do anything because it just continues to happen.
I NEVER felt bad on TTGP when some dingdong poster got flamed for posting pee sticks etc because it couldn't have been more clear that they were supposed to READ the newbie blog before posting.
Our "please read" might look too much like a suggestion instead of the fucking demand that it really is and I feel like we could cut down on the "You guise are mean girls! I had no idea I should SEARCH before starting a thread asking if it's normal to not have symptoms!" Posts.
PLEEEEEASE @BunkinMama ??
Look what BunkinMama did!!!! She added "BEFORE POSTING" to the "please read" pin on the newbie blog.
Now when we get the 100th fucking "my symptoms stopped, what now?" Post we can be like "well, what does it say in the thread titled "please read before posting?"!!!!
Shit, OP......duh.
Now instead of "snark" which STILL makes them scratch their heads, we go "duh. Read the first post." And anyone with half a brain realizes their mistake and moves on.
OMFG. I cried laughing reading this thread.
Apparently, denial aint just a name on de bump.