February 2015 Moms

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  • This is our 3rd child. We haven't had any extra help with #1 or #2.. I've always been very independent growing up, so I guess I never even thought about it. My MIL is really great and has offered tons of times, and a few times i did take her up on it. But for the most part, I'm the mom, I did it all.

    Will your hubby not be home at all?
  • kefttsckefttsc member
    edited October 2014
    This is our 3rd child. We haven't had any extra help with #1 or #2.. I've always been very independent growing up, so I guess I never even thought about it. My MIL is really great and has offered tons of times, and a few times i did take her up on it. But for the most part, I'm the mom, I did it all. Will your hubby not be home at all?
    Yes, DH will be home, but he has a job he has to go back to and I have two newborns after a c-section and I'm a FTM.

    I'm working really hard not to be offended by the highlighted portion.  If I can't do it all am I a shitty mom?  Deep breaths being taken here.....

    ETA: I'm independent as hell and always have been, but I still know when to admit that I need help.
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    MMC October 2010
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    Twins?  You mean two babies?  WOW!
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    We are excited to meet William Alexander and Harper Abigail in 2015!
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  • @wirtlehm‌ do it! I need ALL THE DETAILS

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  • kefttsc said:
    This is our 3rd child. We haven't had any extra help with #1 or #2.. I've always been very independent growing up, so I guess I never even thought about it. My MIL is really great and has offered tons of times, and a few times i did take her up on it. But for the most part, I'm the mom, I did it all. Will your hubby not be home at all?
    Yes, DH will be home, but he has a job he has to go back to and I have two newborns after a c-section and I'm a FTM.

    I'm working really hard not to be offended by the highlighted portion.  If I can't do it all am I a shitty mom?  Deep breaths being taken here.....

    ETA: I'm independent as hell and always have been, but I still know when to admit that I need help.
    I took it kinda the same way you did, @kefttsc. My DH couldn't stay home with me for more than two weeks due to his job and law school, so it was just me and MIL during the day (and most nights) taking care of the girls after he had to return to those obligations. With one newborn, I would think it'd be much more manageable than with two. Not saying one is harder than the other--just speaking from personal experience with twins. The painkillers made me really groggy, plus when I wasn't on top of them, my back killed from the spinal I had for my CS, so the extra person really saved me. She would make me breakfast, make sure I caught a little nap when there was a moment, and basically let me focus on recovering and taking care of my girls. I earnestly hope you can have someone other than DH helping you out with your two LOs.
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  • kefttsc said:
    This is our 3rd child. We haven't had any extra help with #1 or #2.. I've always been very independent growing up, so I guess I never even thought about it. My MIL is really great and has offered tons of times, and a few times i did take her up on it. But for the most part, I'm the mom, I did it all. Will your hubby not be home at all?
    Yes, DH will be home, but he has a job he has to go back to and I have two newborns after a c-section and I'm a FTM.

    I'm working really hard not to be offended by the highlighted portion.  If I can't do it all am I a shitty mom?  Deep breaths being taken here.....

    ETA: I'm independent as hell and always have been, but I still know when to admit that I need help.
    I took it kinda the same way you did, @kefttsc. My DH couldn't stay home with me for more than two weeks due to his job and law school, so it was just me and MIL during the day (and most nights) taking care of the girls after he had to return to those obligations. With one newborn, I would think it'd be much more manageable than with two. Not saying one is harder than the other--just speaking from personal experience with twins. The painkillers made me really groggy, plus when I wasn't on top of them, my back killed from the spinal I had for my CS, so the extra person really saved me. She would make me breakfast, make sure I caught a little nap when there was a moment, and basically let me focus on recovering and taking care of my girls. I earnestly hope you can have someone other than DH helping you out with your two LOs.


    :::::STUCK IN THE DAMN BOX:::::
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who took it that way.

    My mom and MIL can't be of any help (physical issues - mom has MS and MIL is having a knee replacement in late Decemer), so if my sister can't come, I will need to hire someone probably.  Maybe @KMommytobe can help me since she can do it all.
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    Twins?  You mean two babies?  WOW!
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  • Thanks @lizzybean.  I do know, and I'm at a pretty emotional crossroads with it.  To be this close and think I totally have it made only to have things falling through is killing me.

    image
    MMC October 2010
    BFP #2 June 3, 2014
    Twins?  You mean two babies?  WOW!
    Team PURPLE!!
    We are excited to meet William Alexander and Harper Abigail in 2015!
    Pregnancy Ticker

  • kefttsc said:
    kefttsc said:
    This is our 3rd child. We haven't had any extra help with #1 or #2.. I've always been very independent growing up, so I guess I never even thought about it. My MIL is really great and has offered tons of times, and a few times i did take her up on it. But for the most part, I'm the mom, I did it all. Will your hubby not be home at all?
    Yes, DH will be home, but he has a job he has to go back to and I have two newborns after a c-section and I'm a FTM.

    I'm working really hard not to be offended by the highlighted portion.  If I can't do it all am I a shitty mom?  Deep breaths being taken here.....

    ETA: I'm independent as hell and always have been, but I still know when to admit that I need help.
    I took it kinda the same way you did, @kefttsc. My DH couldn't stay home with me for more than two weeks due to his job and law school, so it was just me and MIL during the day (and most nights) taking care of the girls after he had to return to those obligations. With one newborn, I would think it'd be much more manageable than with two. Not saying one is harder than the other--just speaking from personal experience with twins. The painkillers made me really groggy, plus when I wasn't on top of them, my back killed from the spinal I had for my CS, so the extra person really saved me. She would make me breakfast, make sure I caught a little nap when there was a moment, and basically let me focus on recovering and taking care of my girls. I earnestly hope you can have someone other than DH helping you out with your two LOs.


    :::::STUCK IN THE DAMN BOX:::::
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who took it that way.

    My mom and MIL can't be of any help (physical issues - mom has MS and MIL is having a knee replacement in late Decemer), so if my sister can't come, I will need to hire someone probably.  Maybe @KMommytobe can help me since she can do it all.
    Hell, I'd come help you out if I could! I hope you can hire someone if your sister can't come. If you use care.com, just please make sure you dot all your i's and cross all your t's (sorry, I know this is common sense). I hired someone who ended up being a total psycho phony. Long story short, it wouldn't have surprised me if she'd kidnapped my girls if I had ever left her alone with them (which I would have NEVER done, so don't worry). Just a taste of what a weirdo she was: just the second day she came to help out, I overheard her telling DD2 that even though she had only met her the day before, she already loved her. WTF?  8-} That should have been the first red flag to get her booted out the door, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
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  • @wirtlehm‌ that is so creepy!! Glad your puppies & DH scared him off & weren't hurt. But still creepy!! Happy they got his ass!
  • kefttsc said:
    kefttsc said:
    This is our 3rd child. We haven't had any extra help with #1 or #2.. I've always been very independent growing up, so I guess I never even thought about it. My MIL is really great and has offered tons of times, and a few times i did take her up on it. But for the most part, I'm the mom, I did it all. Will your hubby not be home at all?
    Yes, DH will be home, but he has a job he has to go back to and I have two newborns after a c-section and I'm a FTM.

    I'm working really hard not to be offended by the highlighted portion.  If I can't do it all am I a shitty mom?  Deep breaths being taken here.....

    ETA: I'm independent as hell and always have been, but I still know when to admit that I need help.
    I took it kinda the same way you did, @kefttsc. My DH couldn't stay home with me for more than two weeks due to his job and law school, so it was just me and MIL during the day (and most nights) taking care of the girls after he had to return to those obligations. With one newborn, I would think it'd be much more manageable than with two. Not saying one is harder than the other--just speaking from personal experience with twins. The painkillers made me really groggy, plus when I wasn't on top of them, my back killed from the spinal I had for my CS, so the extra person really saved me. She would make me breakfast, make sure I caught a little nap when there was a moment, and basically let me focus on recovering and taking care of my girls. I earnestly hope you can have someone other than DH helping you out with your two LOs.


    :::::STUCK IN THE DAMN BOX:::::
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who took it that way.

    My mom and MIL can't be of any help (physical issues - mom has MS and MIL is having a knee replacement in late Decemer), so if my sister can't come, I will need to hire someone probably.  Maybe @KMommytobe can help me since she can do it all.
    Hell, I'd come help you out if I could! I hope you can hire someone if your sister can't come. If you use care.com, just please make sure you dot all your i's and cross all your t's (sorry, I know this is common sense). I hired someone who ended up being a total psycho phony. Long story short, it wouldn't have surprised me if she'd kidnapped my girls if I had ever left her alone with them (which I would have NEVER done, so don't worry). Just a taste of what a weirdo she was: just the second day she came to help out, I overheard her telling DD2 that even though she had only met her the day before, she already loved her. WTF?  8-} That should have been the first red flag to get her booted out the door, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That's it.  I'm quitting my job and never leaving them alone.  (obviously kidding, but OMG!!!)
    image
    MMC October 2010
    BFP #2 June 3, 2014
    Twins?  You mean two babies?  WOW!
    Team PURPLE!!
    We are excited to meet William Alexander and Harper Abigail in 2015!
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  • kefttsc said:
    Thanks @lizzybean.  I do know, and I'm at a pretty emotional crossroads with it.  To be this close and think I totally have it made only to have things falling through is killing me.

    I completely understand. My Mom hasn't been here in over 2 years. If she wasn't able to come and stay when the new baby comes I would be devastated. Hugs to you!! Vent any time ya need :)
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  • Spam: my poor DS has a horrible ear infection. I feel like the worlds worse mom cause he hasn't been sleeping the last 2 nights & instead of wondering why I've been throwing a self pity party at how exhausted I am. This morning within a half hour he was clinging to me & screaming so he must have been in a horrible amount of pain. He is 3 with a running record of ear infections some we didn't even know he had them & would find out by taking him in for something else, so high pain tolerance. The fact that he was crying & screaming is killing me :( thankfully he is already eating & acting normal again so pain is gone and we should get some sleep tonight!!! ;)
  • kefttsc said:
    kefttsc said:
    kefttsc said:
    This is our 3rd child. We haven't had any extra help with #1 or #2.. I've always been very independent growing up, so I guess I never even thought about it. My MIL is really great and has offered tons of times, and a few times i did take her up on it. But for the most part, I'm the mom, I did it all. Will your hubby not be home at all?
    Yes, DH will be home, but he has a job he has to go back to and I have two newborns after a c-section and I'm a FTM.

    I'm working really hard not to be offended by the highlighted portion.  If I can't do it all am I a shitty mom?  Deep breaths being taken here.....

    ETA: I'm independent as hell and always have been, but I still know when to admit that I need help.
    I took it kinda the same way you did, @kefttsc. My DH couldn't stay home with me for more than two weeks due to his job and law school, so it was just me and MIL during the day (and most nights) taking care of the girls after he had to return to those obligations. With one newborn, I would think it'd be much more manageable than with two. Not saying one is harder than the other--just speaking from personal experience with twins. The painkillers made me really groggy, plus when I wasn't on top of them, my back killed from the spinal I had for my CS, so the extra person really saved me. She would make me breakfast, make sure I caught a little nap when there was a moment, and basically let me focus on recovering and taking care of my girls. I earnestly hope you can have someone other than DH helping you out with your two LOs.


    :::::STUCK IN THE DAMN BOX:::::
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who took it that way.

    My mom and MIL can't be of any help (physical issues - mom has MS and MIL is having a knee replacement in late Decemer), so if my sister can't come, I will need to hire someone probably.  Maybe @KMommytobe can help me since she can do it all.
    Hell, I'd come help you out if I could! I hope you can hire someone if your sister can't come. If you use care.com, just please make sure you dot all your i's and cross all your t's (sorry, I know this is common sense). I hired someone who ended up being a total psycho phony. Long story short, it wouldn't have surprised me if she'd kidnapped my girls if I had ever left her alone with them (which I would have NEVER done, so don't worry). Just a taste of what a weirdo she was: just the second day she came to help out, I overheard her telling DD2 that even though she had only met her the day before, she already loved her. WTF?  8-} That should have been the first red flag to get her booted out the door, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That's it.  I'm quitting my job and never leaving them alone.  (obviously kidding, but OMG!!!)
    Didn't mean to scare you. :( Just be very careful! I think that's why we still haven't gotten a babysitter for DDs because that experience scarred us.
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  • Sorry didn't mean to offend! I am just one that likes to do it themselves/doesn't often ask for help. Everyone's different. Again didn't mean to offend! :)
  • Sorry didn't mean to offend! I am just one that likes to do it themselves/doesn't often ask for help. Everyone's different. Again didn't mean to offend! :)
    I like to do things myself too, but your post wasn't just about liking to do things yourself.  It was about being the mom and being able to do it all, insinuating that someone that wants/needs help is below par on the mothering scale.  Me no likey.  

    I'm headed to childbirth class.  Which I bet you also didn't need.
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    MMC October 2010
    BFP #2 June 3, 2014
    Twins?  You mean two babies?  WOW!
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    We are excited to meet William Alexander and Harper Abigail in 2015!
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  • For those of you who like b horror films I am watching cabin fever patient zero. It is so gross and creepy. You can find it on Netflix.
  • @michelle142‌ however you proceed, I would be sure to do it via email. Make a formal request for the time off, get proof of her response, then share with HR or boss. Otherwise, you might get an even bigger mess on your hands!

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  • Why is it that when you are headed on vacation for a week.. the week before becomes hell.. 

    Ugh.. going to be here late tonight so I can get out of here tomorrow at noon. 


    8-}


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  • wheres @sugahcookie01‌ at today?
    The ladies were right! I was at a training in Virginia. Home safely now, and napped because MAN did all that driving knock me on my ass!
    Driving is exhausting! Jealous of your nap and glad you were able to get one in :)
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  • I was just talking to my mom who was saying that my 20 year old brother was looking for a part time job (he lives at home) since he is starting to get embarrassed about asking for money to go out to the bars  and take girls on dates and stuff like that, I asked why part time and she said his course load is huge this year. I was all--oh he is going to college good for him! And she was all, no he is still finishing high school online.

    He has been doing online high school to finish his last year since he was 17. That's three years. My mom is so naïve, I highly doubt he isn't finished school he is just trying to stretch it out as loooong as humanly possible so he can continue to live at home and get an allowance and not have to pay rent.

    This made me realize, no WONDER I was so bad when I was a teenager, my mom believes anything. and my little brother is WAY smarter than I am LOL. I finished school over a year early and had to start paying rent right away (I was like 17!) so I ended up moving out. (I figured if I was paying rent I might as well move out so I did).


  • @kefttscI just wanted to say I can completely understand why you'd be scared/stressed about help with your (not 1, but 2!) newborns after major abdominal surgery in which you're given specific instructions for your recovery that include things like not lifting anything heavier than your babies, not going up & down your steps for a certain amount of time, and not driving for 2 weeks postpartum. Only an idiot would think they could "do it all" themselves...especially those first 2 weeks.

    I can only comment about my experience after a c-section with my DD. My DH was home for a week. It was supposed to be 2, but they made him come back after one. That first week for me was crucial for my recovery. I was able to rest up and took it easy (but still surprisingly felt well after a few days). DH was very helpful. After DH went back to work, I honestly don't remember needing or feeling like I needed someone around a whole lot. My mom may have come over a little throughout the day to help pick up the house or grab groceries/run small errands. If there's absolutely no one to lend a hand, like PPs have said, I'd look into hiring someone for a few weeks if you're comfortable with that and if you think at that point you'll need it.

    I dunno if that's at all helpful or reassuring, but I thought I'd try to lend some thoughtful commiseration/advice. 

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  • AF9211 said:
    @kefttscI just wanted to say I can completely understand why you'd be scared/stressed about help with your (not 1, but 2!) newborns after major abdominal surgery in which you're given specific instructions for your recovery that include things like not lifting anything heavier than your babies, not going up & down your steps for a certain amount of time, and not driving for 2 weeks postpartum. Only an idiot would think they could "do it all" themselves...especially those first 2 weeks.

    I can only comment about my experience after a c-section with my DD. My DH was home for a week. It was supposed to be 2, but they made him come back after one. That first week for me was crucial for my recovery. I was able to rest up and took it easy (but still surprisingly felt well after a few days). DH was very helpful. After DH went back to work, I honestly don't remember needing or feeling like I needed someone around a whole lot. My mom may have come over a little throughout the day to help pick up the house or grab groceries/run small errands. If there's absolutely no one to lend a hand, like PPs have said, I'd look into hiring someone for a few weeks if you're comfortable with that and if you think at that point you'll need it.

    I dunno if that's at all helpful or reassuring, but I thought I'd try to lend some thoughtful commiseration/advice. 
    NO ONE told me that I wasn't supposed to climb steps, or drive. I went upstairs the day I got home and only found out I wasn't supposed to way after the fact. They did say no lifting more than my baby though. DH was home for a week and I felt like if I kept up with my medication I could handle things on my own, but I only had 1 baby!


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  • I have a slightly embarrassing question...don't flame me. 

    Have anyone's boobs started leaking yet? If so, is it normal for the leaky boob to be sore? Mine leaked during my pregnancy with DD, but I don't remember a dull throbbing to go with it.

    :\">

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  • @cogdis LOLing at "mom brooches & shit"

    @dani_love I thought the no driving rule was standard for women who were postpartum c-sections...but maybe not? I asked my doc why and she told me it had to do with jamming on the breaks and the strain it puts on your incision. I also didn't find going up & down the steps bad and the pain meds helped tremendously, but like you I only had one LO to care for. 

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  • @af9211 - First off I agree with everything you said to @kefttsc WHOLE HEARTEDLY. Hell, I'm looking into getting a mother's helper and I'm only having 1 newborn. :) DH and I discussed it last week. No shame it's HARD WORK and I need some help. lol

    Secondly My boobs aren't leaking yet (not surprising to me since I had a low supply for the 11 months I fed Henry) but I do know my boobs ached, like the dull throbbing ache, the ENTIRE time I fed him. Warm compresses help a little - so you could try that. Hope it goes away soon though. I think eventually I was just kinda numb to it - but now looking back and having normal boobs again, I'm not looking forward to having that symptom again this time. How is your DD feeling? Hope she's feeling better! 
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  • @mandamoochie I might try that warm compress trick...thank you! It's only my right boob, but the ache is distracting. And Quinn is doing better today! She napped this afternoon without waking up from coughing or crying so fingers crossed we can actually get a decent night's sleep tonight. Thanks for asking!

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  • @AF9211‌

    No leaky breasts yet ... Shudder ... Now I'm starting to dread it!

    Good luck with the compress!
  • It's not as bad as it sounds @cogdis! I don't wanna scare anyone I only noticed it yesterday because I wasn't wearing my bra. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between that and boob sweat had my bra been on...not sure what that says about my hygiene/bra washing routine (I'm clean, I swear!). 

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  • I have to take my glucose and hypertension blood tests on Monday. Not looking forward to them. I just hope that I pass the glucose test so I don't have anymore blood tests the rest of the pregnancy, and so I don't have to jab myself three times a day. Any heavyset, or overweight, mamas out there who passed their glucose test this pregnancy?
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  • @StephanieLBerg‌ - I'm a heavy mama, and while I technically did not take/pass the glocose test, because I physically cannot handle glucola, I've been sticking myself once a day for a while now ( I only have to do it 2 more weeks) and my HIGHEST draw was 99. I usually stick betwwen 60-80 though. I would pass it if I could take it. I had low blood sugar with DS and that had its own symptoms / problems.

    Good luck, lemme know how it goes!
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  • edited October 2014



    I have to take my glucose and hypertension blood tests on Monday. Not looking forward to them. I just hope that I pass the glucose test so I don't have anymore blood tests the rest of the pregnancy, and so I don't have to jab myself three times a day. Any heavyset, or overweight, mamas out there who passed their glucose test this pregnancy?

    Ugh I'm overweight and haven't taken it yet but I'm so nervous about it. Let us know how it goes!


    ********************************************* Quote fail!

    Well I'm hoping that the 30+lbs I've lost this pregnancy (I've gained a few pounds back, but that's just all baby my doctor believes) will aid in my passing the test. There is a history of type 2 diabetes in my family, but all cases have been in my grandparents later in their lives. My mom didn't have GD with me, though my aunt did with her daughter, however, she weighs considerably more than I do. My dad is the only one with borderline hypoglycemia and my doctor, knowing there's diabetes and hypoglycemia in my family, didn't seem concerned about testing me early; nor have they reported any glucose in my urine each time I've gone in. I also don't have any symptoms of GD as well, so I am hoping for the best possible outcome.
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  • Finally, I have time to read spam and post! Gave my big talk today and nailed it. Thank god that's over!

    RE leaky boobs: Nope, no leakage here yet. Although a few days ago I realized it looked like someone used lip liner around my nipples. I have a very dark line outlining both of them. It's super weird. And can you believe it, DH said "doesn't look very different to me" WTF? There is a DARK OUTLINE around my nipples, of course they look different!

    GTKY: For my work shower, I'll be in some work-appropriate maternity gear. I haven't really decided what yet, but I have some options. For my private shower, I have no idea. Probably jeans and a cute top or a cute sweater with belt. Neither shower is high pressure, so I haven't really thought too much about clothing.

    Finally- whichever Viper made the comment about donating her placenta to someone's crockpot totally made my night. HILARIOUS. Placenta eating is SO not my thing. 
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  • cloe111479cloe111479 member
    edited October 2014

    I have to take my glucose and hypertension blood tests on Monday. Not looking forward to them. I just hope that I pass the glucose test so I don't have anymore blood tests the rest of the pregnancy, and so I don't have to jab myself three times a day. Any heavyset, or overweight, mamas out there who passed their glucose test this pregnancy?

    Me!

    I barely failed the 1 hour and had to do the 3 hour but passed that one!

    Being a large lady isn't a death sentence with it. :)


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  • @krendel1990‌ - yup. As far as I know, average is 80-120 and you have "failed" the 1hr GD test if your above 130 or 140 after the hour (depends on facility). Gestational diabetes is only high blood sugar though... unfortunately, They don't diagnose low blood sugar as a thing and just tell you to eat more carbs (cause, ya know, that's healthy).
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  • Yep. My 1hr needed to be under 140. Mine was 143. I also did it at 1pm. I was told to eat breakfast. So I ate a larger one than usual to make sure "it lasted". I think that was my mistake. I did the 3 hr on Monday and had no issues. But I did eat anything you put in front of me that afternoon!


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  • @AF9211‌ and @mandamoochie thank you so much for the support!

    And yes, my nipples are leaking and have been for a few weeks!

    We learned in child birth class tonight that they recommend no driving, stair climbing, lifting more than baby(s) for two weeks no matter the method of birth. I'm sure this is a doctor preference.
    image
    MMC October 2010
    BFP #2 June 3, 2014
    Twins?  You mean two babies?  WOW!
    Team PURPLE!!
    We are excited to meet William Alexander and Harper Abigail in 2015!
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