Trying to Get Pregnant

Hey @dozensofus, what's your dill? [Discussion Closed]

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Re: Hey @dozensofus, what's your dill? [Discussion Closed]

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  • I
    have been unable to post since Friday, so that is why no one except Big Pickle
    has heard from me. I think maybe XO knew that there was going to be fuckery
    this weekend and suspended all of the newer accounts. There is one other newb I
    have noticed that has been in bump jail for four days, so it isn't just me.

    Anyway, an explanation is in order. I am going to try and hit all of the points
    asked for in this thread, because once I post this, I'm not coming back to this
    board or thread. I understand that people are going to have questions, but I am
    moving the fuck on.

    To cut right to the chase, I admit that I used an AE to bump the old
    confessional thread and share the link to the new one. When I would go to look
    at the old one, I didn't have it bookmarked, but I would type in "ttgp
    confessional tumblr" and click on it when it popped up. With the recent
    board discussion about the confessional, I had been searching it out to see if
    it had been revived or not. TTGPconfessional2.tumblr popped up in my results.
    There was like, one post, but it was recent. I watched it for a day to see if
    it would be shared or if anyone was posting to it. When it looked like nothing
    was being said on the board about it, I made the really stupid decision to use
    an AE to share it. I admit that the drama of the old one intrigued me and I was
    curious to see what this one would be like.

    At first, it was funny. There were jokes and posts about lake facts and then
    someone said some really nice things about a lot of people. And then people started
    saying meaner and meaner things. Then someone backtracked a picture I posted
    and found my photobucket account that had pictures of my kid in it. They posted
    about it and basically told anyone who read it how to find my pictures. I
    freaked. It was a an invasion of my privacy, but to be fair, one I had brought
    on myself by posting the stupid pictures in the first place.

    After that, I stopped reading it. I felt a lot of guilt about being the one to
    share it, and I thought if I just ignored it, it would go away or at the very
    least, I wouldn't have to know what was being said on it.

    I didn't look at the thing again until the thread was posted about someone
    trying to post a picture of a Bumpie that had her mils email address on
    it.  I started discussing the mod thing
    with some people that I had become close with in a social group and a fb group.
    When the mod said she would be in chat that night, I agreed with another person
    who has since deactivated that we would take screenshots of the chat and that
    she would check the mods IP address. I spoke to the mod in chat, and yes I do
    have the screen shots. The IP from chat came from Brooklyn, and was very
    similar or identical to that of known troll IrisPetals/UdderlyFab. Also
    suspected to be Excited2SeeAgain.

    But then I fucked myself in the ass by being discovered as the person who
    shared the link. The IP of the AE was checked against my regular IP and they
    were the same. When confronted with this information, I very shamefully lied my
    ass off about it. It was a shitty thing to do on top of an already shitty thing
    I had done. Only when backed into a corner did I admit the truth, which I know
    felt like a slap in the face to the people who had trusted me.

    But let me make this clear: I did not mod that fucking confessional. The things
    that were said on there were things that would have cut me to my core if they
    were said about me. I have never condoned people taking cheap shots at mental
    illness (I suffer from depression myself) or infertility (which I also have and
    currently am experiencing). I don't even think those things about people I
    really don't like. Anyone who has gotten to know me in the year I have been on
    this board should know that I am not the type of person who would ever just sit
    back and let that hateful shit be said about people I cared for. Have I ever
    shown myself to be that person?

     

    So once I was confronted and admitted what I did to the fb group, I left after
    apologizing to everyone in it. Some people chose to remain friends with me and
    gave me their support, but they are very wisely staying away from this thread.
    I don't blame them or anyone else who knew about it for staying out of this.

    I tried to deactivate my account here that night, convinced I was never coming
    back to the bump. I had taken a short bump break earlier because of some problems
    I was having in my marriage, but this time I wanted to be totally gone. I know
    that probably pisses you off that I wanted to just leave without explaining
    anything to anyone here, but please understand that that night was awful for
    me. I experienced two major losses in my life in the span of 36 hours, with one
    really fucking horrible phone call that came right in the middle of my being
    confronted. Truly, the bump and ttgp were the last things I was worried about
    in those moments. I know that's not fair to any of you, but my personal
    tragedies were more important to deal with, and I was already getting flack
    from the people in the fb and social group. Feeling like a shitty person on top
    of what happened in my personal life had me in a true state of despair.

    All that came from asking for deactivation was getting my account locked for
    several days before it was finally deleted last Monday. But the truth is, by
    that time I felt like I had moved on and wanted to talk and laugh again with my
    friends. When I decided to come back, I told a lot of people who I was. I
    didn't try to hide who I was and I knew that my callout was coming. I could
    have just posted here right away and not put everyone through this weekend, but
    I felt like I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. I'm sorry to those
    who felt like I thought they were stupid and wouldn't notice me. I don’t think
    any of you are stupid. If I was really trying to hide, would I have admitted
    who I was in an extremely widely read thread on Parenting? I knew people were
    going to see it, but I just said fuck it and hit post. Again, I'm sorry that it
    felt like a slap in the face to do that.

     

    I read the whole thread, so I know that the mod or someone claiming to be the mod
    showed up in chat Saturday night. It is true that anyone can log into chat
    under any name they want, so while I would like to believe that it really was
    the mod/excited2see as she claimed, it doesn't really prove anything. I do
    think it was her. IrisPetals was a known troll who admitted to enjoying
    stirring shit and the things she said to me in chat were very similar to the
    things she said here before she was banned.

    Now, some might think that perhaps I am the same person as excited2see and all
    of her troll accounts. I am on the bump a lot, but even I don't have the time
    to troll under several accounts, mod a confessional and still be a PW on two
    boards under my own screen name. I think the IP addresses will speak for
    themselves, if anyone checks. I proxied my IP the night I was in chat, partly
    because I was curious about what it did and because I was desperate to not be
    discovered as the AE. For some reason I thought if I logged into the AE account
    under a proxied ip, that one would show if anyone checked it. I'm not sure why
    I thought that, but it was yet another really dumb and shady mistake. The IP I
    am under now is the same one I have always used.

    Listen, I wasn't fucking talking to myself in chat that night. That's a
    seriously BSC move and while I have shown myself to be a liar, BSC I am not.
    Plus, I don't think you get to choose your IP when you use a proxy, so I would
    not have been able to proxy the same IP address every time those accounts
    appeared on the boards or in chat. And from what I was told by the person who
    deactivated her account, it was the same or extremely close to the same IP for
    all three of those accounts and the mod in chat.

     

    Finally, I am sorry for what I did and for lying about what I did. The hate
    that was spewed on the confessional was vile and I am so sorry for having any
    involvement in bringing it here. There were things that I would not say to or
    about my worst enemies. I don't think those kinds of hateful things ever, even
    in my angriest state. I tried to justify the sharing to myself by saying that
    the confessional was going to come out anyway, but I still keep coming back to
    the fact that I don't know that any more than anyone else does. It was a fucked
    up thing to do, and I am so sorry for doing it.

    I have put everything I know here. I am done discussing it, because I have been
    living it for close to two weeks. It isn't fair to those of you who are just
    finding all this out, and you deserve to have your say. But I just cannot and
    will not go on week three of being told what an evil piece of shit I am and calling
    everything about my character into question. For those who are concerned about
    their personal information, come on. I shared my stuff with you, too. I shared
    a very painful thing with you all. Don’t you think maybe I’m also a little
    afraid that someone might use that against me? Luckily, I refuse to believe
    that any of you would be that vindictive.

    I'm not coming back to this thread to answer any
    questions. I'm sorry it has to be that way, but this is the best I can do.

    You were a great group of people to hang out with, and I wish everyone the best
    of luck in the future.
    Also, I apologize for the horrific font. I had to use Word to be able to type everything all out.
  • Well, that was one giant ass waste of time.

    Holy fucking shit....@Cruelsound! Hiii :)


    || BFP #1: 12-9-13 | EDD: 8-23-14 | Stopped growing 8w4d | D&C 2-7-14 ||
    || BFP #2: 4-4-14 | EDD: 12-13-14 | Betas 4-19-14 *9,800* | Betas 4-21-14 *20,000* ||
    Alina born 12-18-14



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  • mrsfinni said:


    mrsfinni said:


    mrsfinni said:

    BigPICKLE said:

    14whitney said:

    I just want to know if these are assumptions or facts. If they are facts, where did you get them?

    Fact, she bumped an old thread under an AE to post the link. Without that link no one would have looked and started the shit show. She told me.
    Why the need to post under an AE? I was in that FB convo too, remember? After all the talk of AE's being spineless, yet here you are, pretending to be a pickle.


    Yeah we're way beyond that now.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    And yet I'm not.

    I can call you out on TL too if you'd like?

    What are you talking about?

    Pickle, who is choosing to ignore me for reasons unknown.

    I'm werking bitch, I can't respond within seconds of you tagging me. Jesus fucking Christ
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  • DawnLillyDawnLilly member
    edited October 2014
    @ally1986 nice butt.

    ETA: Kat should not be concerning herself with anything on the Bump right now but if you are lurking with a different account I hope you are taking good care of yourself.
  • mrsfinni said:


    mrsfinni said:

    Of course this isn't Kat. Big Pickle has been here longer than I, which is a long fucking time. 


    @mrsfinni from the way it is posting it sounds like you know nothing, so please stop embarrassing yourself. 
    If that's what you think.

    Instead of dancing around the issue and being cryptic why don't you just say what you want to say?
    How is that cryptic? I've already made it clear I was part of the FB group that this happened in. Just wondering if there is yet more BS to deal with.



    No
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