Newbie/FTM questions?

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

leoandethansmom · October 2014

shinycat said:

I have some questions that I was too embarrassed to ask in my classes :P Okay, like a lot of them.

What exactly are diaper cream and baby powder for? And do you use both? I've read you don't need to use them every time you change baby's diaper in some places, and that you DO need to use them every time in others. Diaper cream is used when baby has a diaper rash and we didn't use baby powder until DS was a little bit older but it is used to keep the area dry and prevent chafing/rash.

Also in my BFing class, they said that sometimes the baby may fall asleep while feeding. To keep him up, you should change his diaper. It seems like a waste to just randomly change the baby's diaper if he hasn't gone. Or are they like constantly peeing or something? I don't quite understand how the diaper changes are going to work overall. How often should I check the diaper, and is there a good way to do it? It seemed to me like whenever Leo ate, he peed. Newborns pee a lot, not like quantity but several times a day. Personally, during the night if he fell asleep on the boob I just let him sleep, but during the day feedings I would wake him up to keep eating, sometimes just by jiggling my boob or switching his position. We found that Pamoers Swaddlers were the best for Leo and they have a yellow line on the front that turns blue when there's pee. As newborns, sometimes it's hard to tell if they have peed or not because not a lot of liquid comes out. Those were a lifesaver for me as an FTM.

I haven't changed a diaper before, so I feel really behind...

In the BFing class, they said baby needs to eat every 2-3 hours. Does that mean I need to set an alarm at night, or is it okay to just let the baby cry and wake me up? They showed us signs that the baby was hungry and said that crying is a late queue and that it's really hard to get the baby on the boob if he's crying. I never had a problem with waking him up to feed because he was a very sleepless baby. I did read that if you're having trouble with a latch (which I was) or feeding in general it is best to wake the baby if they are sleeping to feed. I didn't do this, I pumped if he was asleep at the 2 hour marker but that was rare becaues he didn't sleep much.

Also - I was planning on having a Pack N Play in my room for the baby for a bit because I've read that's the thing to do. But when baby cries, do you usually take him out of the room to nurse or change, or is that the whole point of having him right there? Again I think this varies per family. We had a port-a-crib next to our bed and when he cried I would change him right there on the edge of the bed and then lay back down and put him on the boob and fall back asleep. It was easiest for me to remain in the same room but I've known families who did it differently.

Crap guys. I'm not ready for this. I already feel like an unfit mother
You are not and will not be an unfit mother. I didn't have any of these answers before Leo came either. These are all things you will learn as you go what works best for you, your LO, and your family.

riansmommie · October 2014

Feeding time for BF babies is going to vary big time... Lots of factors. How efficient of a sucker, proper latch, how tired they are, your let down, how big of a supply you have, growth spurt....

In the beginning feelings will take longer as you both adjust to what works best for you, once y'all get the hang of it feedings won't take as long.

bowlwoman · October 2014

I'm gonna lay it out there. The first week of breastfeeding is hell for a FTM. But if you can make it through that first week (sometimes more depending on your circumstances), it does get a lot better. Some women have problems all the time and it just doesn't work for them. While breastfeeding is natural, remember that not all women throughout history have been able to do it either, hence, wet nurses.

As for breastfeeding and menstruation, people used to think in olden times that menstrual blood turned into a mother's milk, so having sex during breastfeeding would dirty the milk supply. Hence, another preponderance for wet nurses. I did a paper on sexuality in British North America in grad school, and sexuality after childbirth was a whole section. Fascinating stuff, really, for any of your fellow history nerds out there.

leoandethansmom · October 2014

I found that my son would just continue to suck even if there wasn't anything left for him in the boob so I would time his feedings and switch sides at 12 minutes. As PPs have said, BF for an FTM (I'm guessing probably even STM+) is a huge challenge for at least the first week. Leo didn't latch at all for 2 and a half weeks so it was extremely painful, emotional, and frustrating for me. I had a strange routine of putting him on the boob every 2 hours and then pumping. I felt like I was constantly doing something with my boobs 24 hours a day trying to get the kid fed. It was not a great experience but I'm SO glad I stuck with it. I cried my eyes out the day he latched and continued BF from then on. So I guess in my ramblings I'm trying to say that you may need to start pumping right away to ensure your supply comes in if your child does not latch right away.

abcmom12 · October 2014

@shinycat, I used powder and cream. Cream for when DD's lil bum got irriated or a rash and the power (pure cornstarch) to help prevent a rash from forming. when she had rashes, I'd also put powder on the cream to help keep the cream from rubbing right off onto the diaper. and as long as you're gently shaking the bottle right on their butt, little/no powder flies up.

AllTheTeaInChina · October 2014

On the topic of diaper rash cream, Triple Paste is the best. It's expensive ($19 at target for a big jar) but works.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

colliebabe · October 2014

Another EBFer whose period returned at 6 weeks pp and came like clockwork, even though I BF'd until a year. I also didnt magically lose weight from it either - if anything I felt like my body hung into to some extra weight until I DD self-weaned.

AngelSong76 · October 2014

Boudreaux's Butt Paste for the win!

We also keep a supply of A&D Ointment handy in case we need something a little stronger. That stuff works on other areas, too. Our two year old had a little crack on his earlobe (where the lobe meets the face) last week and it got very red and looked like it was going to get infected. I put a little A&D on it and the next morning it was fine.

We never used baby powder. Oh, and we didn't/don't use the diaper cream every time, just when he looks a little red. He has terrible skin and is prone to rashes, so we probably have to use it every few weeks.

Diapers - we changed before we fed Nathan. He was always wet at that point so it wasn't a waste. I also endorse the diapers that have an indicator if they are wet - it does help to know.

Nathan was (and still is) a big sleeper. He would fall asleep during breastfeeding routinely. I didn't change his diaper again (because we had just changed it) but I did keep a cool, wet washcloth nearby so I could gently rub his cheeks and neck with it. That woke him up like a charm. Also, for some reason, my husband could wake him even when I couldn't. So if I was having trouble, he would touch Nathan's face and talk to him and he would wake right up.

Don't feel like you need to have all this figured out right away. It's something you learn as you go, mostly. If your hospital offers a newborn care class, you may want to take that. We missed ours, because we had him three weeks early.

But I had been around babies a lot, so I knew some of the basics already.

abcmom12 · October 2014

Second for Boudreaux's Butt Paste. came late to that stuff when DD had the runs a month ago but damn it's miracle cream

AngelSong76 · October 2014

abcmom12 said:

Second for Boudreaux's Butt Paste. came late to that stuff when DD had the runs a month ago but damn it's miracle cream

I'm telling you - every mom should have some.

abcmom12 · October 2014

LadyThrice said:

So I'm not a STM+ mom, but in my 'newborn care' class that I went to last night they said (as other PPs have mentioned) pediatricians are recommending NOT using powder on newborns because apparently we parents can be clumsy and get the powder near the baby's face and it gets in their lungs and causes issues. Just something to consider.

I heard about this and asked my pediatrician and she just looked at me like I was stupid. She said they (APA) put out "warnings" on so many products reccomended for babies that unless there was direct evidence it was harmful, she said to use your best judgement.

JRod13 · October 2014

This isn't a question but a statement- DS and H are playing out in the backyard and their laughing is making my soul sing (yea, I'm getting sentimental right now)...I can't wait for you FTMs to experience that...so amazing.

gmeyer1019 · October 2014

So I tried searching for this, couldn't find in here or other threads, but when should we have our hospital bags pack? We're definitely getting closer and I saw lots of posts on what to pack but couldn't find anything on when.
I apologize if I just couldn't find it but mobile bump stinks.

riansmommie · October 2014

@gmeyer1019‌ pack the stuff that you won't be using between now and delivery right now. Then type/write up a list of the other stuff you want to go in it that way when it's time to go someone else can pack it for you and know exactly what else is needed.

leoandethansmom · October 2014

AngelSong76 said:

abcmom12 said:

Second for Boudreaux's Butt Paste. came late to that stuff when DD had the runs a month ago but damn it's miracle cream

I'm telling you - every mom should have some.

I wholeheartedly but respectfully disagree. That stuff made his rash worse every time we used it. Balmex FTW in our house.

perfectlove09 · October 2014

For cream I use the natural Burts Bees. That stuff is SO thick. Or we used a little of the Boudeauxs stuff. But really if your baby gets a lot of rashes you need to look into a few things. Are the diapers irritating them? Try a new brand. We use all unscented wipes and diapers.

And if you're doing cloth you're less likely to see rashes. If you still do after checking these things, it could be something in their diet.

If baby has a bad rash, rinse them off with a soft washcloth and warm water, or put their little bum in the sink and let it air dry. Even without a rash you should have diaper free time everyday.

Powder is not good for baby. I'll see if I can find the articles I've read in the past about it.

bowlwoman · October 2014

perfectlove09 said:
For cream I use the natural Burts Bees. That stuff is SO thick. Or we used a little of the Boudeauxs stuff. But really if your baby gets a lot of rashes you need to look into a few things. Are the diapers irritating them? Try a new brand. We use all unscented wipes and diapers.

And if you're doing cloth you're less likely to see rashes. If you still do after checking these things, it could be something in their diet.

If baby has a bad rash, rinse them off with a soft washcloth and warm water, or put their little bum in the sink and let it air dry. Even without a rash you should have diaper free time everyday.

Powder is not good for baby. I'll see if I can find the articles I've read in the past about it.

I second the Burt's Bee's diaper ointment. I used it with both girls and it was fabulous. Both my girls had an adverse reaction to anything with a petroleum base, so we had to use the products that were vegetable or animal oil based. We used breastfeeding lanolin in place of Vaseline for really bad rashes to protect the skin.

Also, you may hear your pediatrician/doctor say that babies getting bad diaper rashes during teething is an old wives tale, but every time both my girls teethed and ONLY when they teethed did they get toxic diaper rash. So, this old wife is saying it was true for my girls.

Shortstack06 · October 2014

I went for my glucose test and found out I was anemic and needed iron supplements. I began taking 2 of 27 mg of iron a day. I had an appointment yesterday and the PA kept saying I needed 325 mg a day of iron and there is a ferrous sulfate I can buy to meet that. But from what I gathered my 54 mg is nearly equivalent to that. Does it really matter?

LaxMOM44 · October 2014

gmeyer1019 said:
So I tried searching for this, couldn't find in here or other threads, but when should we have our hospital bags pack? We're definitely getting closer and I saw lots of posts on what to pack but couldn't find anything on when.
I apologize if I just couldn't find it but mobile bump stinks.

Probably should have at least some basics ready, at this point if you were to have your baby it would be a preemie and would likely have to stay in NICU so you would have time to send someone to assemble some supplies, but you might still want to have some stuff packed now just in case.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

ebl2 · October 2014

I had my first baby in May and we had record high temps that month so I never needed to use a hat on her head. With this baby being born in the winter I expect to use them, but what about at night? Do you let baby sleep in a hat at night?

JunkieBrewster · October 2014

gmeyer1019 said:

So I tried searching for this, couldn't find in here or other threads, but when should we have our hospital bags pack? We're definitely getting closer and I saw lots of posts on what to pack but couldn't find anything on when. I apologize if I just couldn't find it but mobile bump stinks.

Depends what youre taking. I am taking jammies for me cameras, cell phones, chargers, netbooks. I am taking one or 2 outfits for baby, but the hospital provides everything else. It will take me about 5 minutes to pack and has to wait until the day of.

RobinettMomma · October 2014

SLC1102 said:
Another question for all you STMs- when did you have your hospital bag packed? This question came up on a local FB mom/pregnant group I'm in and some people were saying they were packed by 32 weeks...which seems CRAZY to me...but mainly because that's like next week. TIA.

Mine and DH is already packed and im 30 weeks. My babies come early and fast so i plan ahead

turkeyleg5 · October 2014

SLC1102 said:

Odd question probably- so my friend just had a baby girl in April (this is the one down in Curacao who got a baby nurse for 2 weeks), and one of the things the nurses taught her was to put vaseline/petroleum jelly directly on babies butt whole after each poopy diaper change. No idea why though- any of you heard this and do you do it?

I was curious and didn't see a response (sorry if I missed it), so I googled this. And we all know that Google is never wrong.

From Boston Children's Hospital (www.childrenshospital.org/health-topics/conditions/diaper-rash):

"skin protection: Petroleum jelly (Vaseline.) provides a good protective coating, even on sore, reddened skin, and is easily cleaned. A number of other ointments are available commercially; see what works for your baby and what your baby's physician recommends."

From Mayo Clinic (https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/diaper-rash/basics/prevention/con-20019220)

"Consider using ointment regularly. If your baby gets rashes often, apply a barrier ointment during each diaper change to prevent skin irritation. Petroleum jelly and zinc oxide are the time-proven ingredients included in many prepared diaper ointments. Using these products on clear skin helps keep it in good condition."

Both of these were on a long list of ideas to try when dealing with diaper rash.

path75 · October 2014

Bumping due to influx of ftm questions.

kirstey728 · October 2014

Here's one... For all you mommies who BFed how hard was it to get your LO to latch?

All I have geared was that it was hard....

mgk207 · October 2014

So, my wedding and engagement rings were snug prior to getting pregnant (I gained some newlywed weight after getting married last year!) I made a good faith effort to remove them a couple months ago, to no avail. I am concerned about having to get them cut off, especially if I have postpartum swelling (or if I need a c-section). Just curious if anyone has experienced this, or has any suggestions to avoid having them cut off. Thanks!

mgk207 · October 2014

Yep...*sigh*

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

AllTheTeaInChina · October 2014

Slaps said:

mgk207 said:
Yep...*sigh*
Run your hand under the cold tap and try washing up liquid, but the more you try the more your finger will swell, but it is best to do when your hands are cold.

Try first thing in the morning too.

I stopped wearing my engagement ring last time but never take off my band. It wasn't a problem at the hospital but I didn't have a csection.

mgk207 · October 2014

Thank you very much! These all seem like great suggestions...I will give it another try!

BabyByTim · October 2014

New question: I know towards the end of the pregnancy it is said that the baby "drops" into position. Is this typically a slow transition of baby getting set to come out or can you actually feel the "drop?" I ask because the other day it felt like the baby dropped onto my pelvis and has been sitting there ever since. It was a very odd feeling and I wanted to know if anyone else felt the same thing?

ebl2 · October 2014

kirstey728 said:

Here's one... For all you mommies who BFed how hard was it to get your LO to latch? All I have geared was that it was hard....

I had trouble with DD opening her mouth wide enough. It used to take me holding her in a cross cradle position (so I could pinch my breast smaller) and my husband getting her to open wide enough and then quickly putting her on to feed her correctly. Before my husband started helping me she used to suck on my nipple like it was a straw (ouch!!).

ebl2 · October 2014

ebl2 said:

I had my first baby in May and we had record high temps that month so I never needed to use a hat on her head. With this baby being born in the winter I expect to use them, but what about at night? Do you let baby sleep in a hat at night?

I had to take my DD to the pediatrician Monday and while I was there I asked her about the hat situation at night. She said that yes you should put a hat on their head at night unless/until it starts coming off. Thanks for your input ladies!

@LadyThrice @3girlsnthepup

[Deleted User] · November 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

allitor12 · November 2014

a+m=dixon said:
This may be a weird question for STM but.. Oh well. Gives an excuse to bump this again.

While in labor and pushing etc., did you still feel baby kicking and moving or do they tend to just move down the birth canal with little extra motion? While sitting there at 4 am with LO kicking and rolling the question crossed my mind.

I remember when I was in labor with dd1 she was still moving and hitting monitors. I honestly couldn't tell you if she was while I was pushing... Wasn't the first thing on my mind

nedralynn · November 2014

Im a STM with my first I was a single parent so did this all on my own. My BF has two children from a previous relationship however has never done the breastfeeding thing. Weve had many discussions about it because I breasfed my son and will this one too even though i have no support whatsoever from anyone with it. He doesn't understand it and thinks I'm taking bonding time away from him with this child so for the other STMs out there how have your significant others helped out with the breastfeeding process?

Want a personalized experience?

Newbie/FTM questions?

Re: Newbie/FTM questions?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards