Newbie/FTM questions?

Manateearmz

Since we have an influx of newbie or FTM questions does anyone think it would be helpful to have a thread to have them asked in without fear of flames or snark?

This is something that TTGP does and it was really helpful to weed out the silly, repetitive questions, and the questions that people were generally afraid to ask.

Just a thought since it seems we're all a little tired of the "go to your doctor" answers in multiple posts.

If you've got a question now would be the time to post it in here and ask with little to no snark.

hellopartyof5

Awesome idea.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Cheekers2010

Good idea!

Eora3

Perfect!

Manateearmz

twolittledogs said:

Quit complementing and start asking.

<--full blown third tri crabass over here.

I know right?

Come on mamas give me all your questions while I feel like playing nice.

BdblZ

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

Manateearmz

BdblZ said:

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

The pad they give you goes from tr top of your ass crack to your belly button. You use the whole thing.

Right after labor I took a shower. I pulled down my mesh panties and blood literally sprayed everywhere. Clots and all. Like sticking your finger on the end of a garden hose.

They tell you to pass small clots, don't be alarmed if you pass one that looks like a baseball.

bowlwoman

BdblZ said:

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

You'll definitely go through several packages of pads. I had to double up at night, mainly because things would spread and I wouldn't have enough coverage to not get messy. Also, if you can snag some extra pads at the hospital to take home. They look like diapers, but they are the best for keeping the yuckies contained.

I also bought another squirt bottle for the downstairs bathroom, one of the hair color applicator ones from a beauty supply store. After the first week of DH running up and down the stairs to bring me the squirt bottle I had left in the other bathroom, he was very much behind this idea.

And just buy stock in Tucks pads now.

Manateearmz

Stool softeners are your BFF post delivery.

Manateearmz

bvsbabymomma said:

Manateearmz said:

BdblZ said:

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

The pad they give you goes from tr top of your ass crack to your belly button. You use the whole thing.

Right after labor I took a shower. I pulled down my mesh panties and blood literally sprayed everywhere. Clots and all. Like sticking your finger on the end of a garden hose.

They tell you to pass small clots, don't be alarmed if you pass one that looks like a baseball.

Well this sounds pleasant.

I'm hoping my realistic viewpoint will aid in dropping the teen pregnancy rate.

bowlwoman

bvsbabymomma said:

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

The pad they give you goes from tr top of your ass crack to your belly button. You use the whole thing. Right after labor I took a shower. I pulled down my mesh panties and blood literally sprayed everywhere. Clots and all. Like sticking your finger on the end of a garden hose. They tell you to pass small clots, don't be alarmed if you pass one that looks like a baseball.

Well this sounds pleasant.

It's a hoot.

bowlwoman

MissChristineMarie said:

bowlwoman said:

BdblZ said:

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

You'll definitely go through several packages of pads. I had to double up at night, mainly because things would spread and I wouldn't have enough coverage to not get messy. Also, if you can snag some extra pads at the hospital to take home. They look like diapers, but they are the best for keeping the yuckies contained.

I also bought another squirt bottle for the downstairs bathroom, one of the hair color applicator ones from a beauty supply store. After the first week of DH running up and down the stairs to bring me the squirt bottle I had left in the other bathroom, he was very much behind this idea.

And just buy stock in Tucks pads now.

I hate pads. Are tampons a total no-no???

Yeah, for the first six weeks they were for me. I hate pads too, but it was just one of those "gotta suck it up" things. I delivered vaginally, though, so I'm not sure if it's verboten for c-sec moms.

AllTheTeaInChina

BdblZ said:

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

I didn't think it was THAT bad.  A few hours after delivery, I passed about a golf ball size clot but that was the only big one.  I did leak though a pad that night but think it was more because it shifted to the side and wasn't covering the bits.  At home I switched to Always Infinity and those worked so much better.  They are thinner and don't bunch like the big diaper pads.  I was done bleeding by 10-14 days pp but still spotted occasionally for a couple more weeks.  If I over did it, long walk etc, I would have some heavier spotting the next day. 

Eora3

BdblZ said:

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

I will probably pick up some Depends type underwear just so I don't have to worry about leaking. It isn't necessarily a constant heavy "flow" like a period but I got awful gushes (when I stood up or while having after pains while breastfeeding). I had some pretty large clots too.

I did have c-sections so my OB cleaned me out some so my experience may be different from someone who had a vaginal birth.

Manateearmz

@MissChristineMarie‌ chances are you'll have some stitching internally, not to mention you will need a bit of time to recover from pushing something out. I promise a pad will be what you want.

AllTheTeaInChina

Manateearmz said:

Stool softeners are your BFF post delivery.

Yes!  I was given them in the hospital, three times daily with 800mg ibuprofen.

bowlwoman

Manateearmz said:

I'll play - how bad was the post-birth bleeding really - I've heard such horror stories I'm getting ready to just wear a diaper for the first 4 weeks

The pad they give you goes from tr top of your ass crack to your belly button. You use the whole thing. Right after labor I took a shower. I pulled down my mesh panties and blood literally sprayed everywhere. Clots and all. Like sticking your finger on the end of a garden hose. They tell you to pass small clots, don't be alarmed if you pass one that looks like a baseball.

Well this sounds pleasant.

I'm hoping my realistic viewpoint will aid in dropping the teen pregnancy rate.

I am totally using the new baby as a way to open the dialog with the girls about why it's important to wait to have a baby until you're older and can afford it.

Manateearmz

Anna930 said:

I already told my husband I'd be wearing Depends.  I never feel secure with a pad on - too many times of it leaking off the back/front growing up I think.  If not Depends, then definitely a very very long pad.. with wings to stay in place!  I am so dreading this

PP bleeding does suck, but you'll be holding a squishy newborn and cuddling on the couch. Not like regular periods where you're out playing tennis and rock climbing (per the commercials).

abcmom12

@MissChristineMarie, I don't even remember my first PP poop so it must not have been traumatic or memorable.  I do remember the heavy bleeding and golf ball clot I passed, plus the tenderness of peeing cause of some stiches.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

jennielee123

katehgee said:

What's worse: the delivery or the recovery? I'm hoping for a vaginal delivery with an epidural.

For me labor was way worse than recovery. Contractions suck, some bleeding with a baby in my arms was much more bearable. 

abcmom12

katehgee said:

What's worse: the delivery or the recovery? I'm hoping for a vaginal delivery with an epidural.

Recovery.  Your crotch is just a swollen tender mess and you'll get up and sit like an old person who can't walk lol

AllTheTeaInChina

MissChristineMarie said:

What's the first PP poop like? Is it as scary as people make it out to be? Bloody? Painful? 

Mine wasn't painful, felt oddly ....good? Relieving? It was the morning of discharge, so day 3 pp. I had been taking stool softeners. I'm glad it happened in the hospital with super power flush and not at home.

Manateearmz

katehgee said:

What's worse: the delivery or the recovery? I'm hoping for a vaginal delivery with an epidural.

I had a fairly easy delivery (2 stitches, epidural, 17 hours total, 2 1/2 hours of pushing) and I would take recovery any day.

bowlwoman

With DD1, the recovery, once I got the epidural. I was induced, and the contractions were a nightmare. I had a tear, had some stitches that took several months to fully dissolve, and I was in the hospital the two full days I was alloted.

With DD2, the delivery/recovery went pretty quickly, all said and done, induced vaginal delivery with epidural, and I was walking the halls as soon as the feeling came back in my legs. I was ready to go home the next day, and we had to wait until DD2 was 24 hours old and then we got released. Then, though, the PPD hit around 4-6 months with her, so that was a much different type of crappy ass issue.

Eora3

MissChristineMarie said:

What's the first PP poop like? Is it as scary as people make it out to be? Bloody? Painful? 

I had c-sections so my experience may be different from a vaginal birth, but the first poop after my first baby was scary!! None of my muscles felt like they were working and I felt like my incision was going to pop open. All the pain meds had seriously constipated me and it took some serious effort to move things along (even after taking the stool softeners!).

MrsNash37212

I hate pads. Are tampons a total no-no???

ETA: Or is it just that there isn't a point since there is so much blood that you'll go through them like I go through ice cream and peanut butter?

Yes, tampons are a big no no. Nothing and I mean nothing is to go up there until you are cleared at your 6 week checkup due to risk of infection.

Eora3

MrsNash37212 said:

I hate pads. Are tampons a total no-no???

ETA: Or is it just that there isn't a point since there is so much blood that you'll go through them like I go through ice cream and peanut butter?

Yes, tampons are a big no no. Nothing and I mean nothing is to go up there until you are cleared at your 6 week checkup due to risk of infection.


My OB told me that when the placenta detached from the uterine wall, it creates an open wound. All the blood and tissue that collected in the uterus during pregnancy needs to be able to get out of the uterus so that it can heal. A tampon causes all that stuff to back up into the uterus (not good). Sex before your 6 week mark is also risky because it introduces bacteria and can cause serious infection. Basically, your vagina needs to be an "exit only" for the first 6 weeks (or until your OB/midwife tells you differently).

AllTheTeaInChina

katehgee said:

What's worse: the delivery or the recovery? I'm hoping for a vaginal delivery with an epidural.

I don't think I can really compare.  I went drug-free and pushed for a couple hours so it was exhausting.  I also could feel myself tear, that was the worst part.  Recovery wasn't bad. I was sore, tired and swollen but was able to relax on the couch with DD sleeping on the chest- awesome!  I did have to be careful sitting down. If I went to fast or shifted, I could feel my stitches. I was feeling pretty good within a week or so. 

RobinettMomma

Id have to say recovery was worse than delivery but i had the most easiest delivery known to man so it wasnt bad at all. After baby was born i think the worst feeling is when the placenta comes out cause it feels like it did when your water broke but its a crap ton of blood so that was pretty gross to me and then i had to have stitches cause i tore so that was uncomfortable and i had to sit on ice packs cause i was so swollen and sore. Overall to me recovery wins the worst award lol. It also burns like a bish when you pee cause of how sore you are and of the stitches if you get them.

leoandethansmom

@MissChristineMarie in my personal experience there ain't no way a tampon was going near my vagina. Not to mention, it wouldn't have done anything. I was stiched up beyond belief and I was afraid to touch that area, let alone try to put something into it. For me, the pp poop was horrible. I've heard from some it wasn't that bad but from the pain meds and iron I was on, I was stopped up for a long time so that first actual, rock hard poop, hurt like hell. The stitches didn't help either.

@katehgee I truly believed the recovery was worse. Did labor and delivery suck? Yes, but I knew there was a "prize" at the end of it. Going through the pain felt worth it because I knew what I was going to be holding. After he was here I was just ready to be healed. Another thing nobody really tells you is how much it hurts for your uterus to contract back to size and how long it takes. I've heard some people say their recovery was a breeze but in my experience, it was awful. I was also having trouble with BF and a jaundice baby so adding all of that to lack of sleep and majorly healing body...not fun.

Serunatu

How much did you rely on your SO/DH/some sort of help during the first days/weeks home? Anything I can do before hand to prepare for recovery as a single MTB?

LaxMOM44

Can we make the requirement for an answer a boob pic?

RobinettMomma

Also when the nurses come into the room and push on your stomach to get any clots to come out is something that will piss you off beyond belief it hurts so bad!!! I was ready to throat punch any nurse that came in to push on my stomach after pushing a baby out.

mlee116

Eora3 said:

What's the first PP poop like? Is it as scary as people make it out to be? Bloody? Painful? 

I had c-sections so my experience may be different from a vaginal birth, but the first poop after my first baby was scary!! None of my muscles felt like they were working and I felt like my incision was going to pop open. All the pain meds had seriously constipated me and it took some serious effort to move things along (even after taking the stool softeners!).

Yep me too.  I waited for days for it to happen and when it finally did, I was so scared of doing something to mess up my incision.  It's just hard and you can't use your muscles the way you normally would.  But like PP said, once it was done, it was a huge relief!  

I had a c-section, but I remember a good bit of bleeding with some small clots.  Nothing crazy like the vaginal births, but like a really heavy period for awhile then a regular period then light dischargy type stuff for awhile.  

One of the biggest things I didn't expect was how uncomfortable after pains would be and how long they lasted after birth.

kimba1976

From a c-section perspective - I bled as bad as a heavy period for a few days and then heavyish spotting for about 10 days. Totally bearable. Pooping, however, was torture. I had to be given suppositories in the hospital to help things along after I didn't poop for the first three days. Unpleasant and embarrassing. 

For me recovery was 1000x worse than delivery, although the delivery was really difficult emotionally. The recovery was one of the worst experiences of my life, but I had other extenuating circumstances, so it's unlikely any FTMs will have it that bad. Just general moving around and trying to care for a newborn when your stomach has just been sliced open and sewn back together - not fun. But no baseball sized blood clots. So there's that...

abcmom12

Serunatu said:

How much did you rely on your SO/DH/some sort of help during the first days/weeks home? Anything I can do before hand to prepare for recovery as a single MTB?

DH was good for doing dishes, keeping things relatively clean and bringing home take out lol.  Plus the mandatory diaper changes and holding baby whenever I was willing to let go.

To prepare before hand, stock up on snacks and water, anything you'll use around the house frequently, pads & tucks, if you cook you can freeze dinner meals or buy things for easy crockpot recipies.

leoandethansmom

Serunatu said:

How much did you rely on your SO/DH/some sort of help during the first days/weeks home? Anything I can do before hand to prepare for recovery as a single MTB?

Again, this is my story, so it will be completely different for you, but I'm glad to share! I was dead set, stubborn, not budging on BF. My son refused to latch and was also jaundice so getting him milk was extremely important. I woke him up every two hours to try and get him to latch and when he wouldn't I would then pump. I was basically awake 24 hours a day for the first two weeks fighting with my kid to latch and pumping. Having DH there was nice because he could clean bottles and help around the house if needed, but as far as taking care of our son, it was basically me the whole time. It's absolutely possible to take care of the baby on your own as long as you don't mind some of the things around your house going unattended for a little while. The laundry and dishes will get done eventually though, no matter who ends up doing them.

RobinettMomma

Serunatu said:

How much did you rely on your SO/DH/some sort of help during the first days/weeks home? Anything I can do before hand to prepare for recovery as a single MTB?

I didnt really rely on my husband when baby came home i kinda took full control. He was always working so he wasnt really there to help. You will have your own way of doing things or how you want things to be done so i didnt really want help. It may be a different story this time around since ill have a 2 yr old running around. I think when i did need him it was when i was completely exhausted and id have him get up with DS but that only happened once or twice.

agsgrrl

I also want to know how much you guys needed to rely on the SOs cuz mine seems to think just taking a day off is going to cut it..