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Yes or no

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Re: Yes or no

  • ngolimentongolimento member
    edited October 2014
    twolittledogs said:


    Peledreamsofrain said:

    twolittledogs said:


    rm2013 said:

    @twolittledogs‌ :
    (Quote fail)
    From what I understand (which is limited), she trolled in that thread but has regularly contributed since then, but is hounded because of the original trolling? No? Like I said, I am not up to speed on ALL the things.
    (End quote)

    Um no. The "hounding" is what is supposedly in this thread, so if you haven't already read it from page 1. If that's hounding I'm a 50 year old man. She posted in this thread, someone who missed all the drama said who is she, we said a troll from J15, don't feed the troll. Someone else asked why are you here (a valid question). This thread happened 2 days after the initial trolling as you'd like to call it. So to say "she contributed regularly since then" is not applicable at the point in this thread when we were accused of "badgering" by mandjs (who missed all the original brouhaha). Since then she has been pretty much ignored. So then she went back to J15 and said we were mean to her and that started the whole board fight incident.

    The fact that anyone would admonish us for reacting to someone who a) has no chance in hell of having a baby in this month and b) openly said they were coming to troll us is utterly ridiculous. So what if she had decided to mind her Ps and Qs a few days after the fact (which if you ask me is a CYA move). That was after all this happened not before.

    And I have to disagree with you on saying a BMB is different from a specialty board. The FF board is for people who FF. If you don't, you don't really have any reason to be there. Same with BF. The BMBs are no different. They are for women who are, were (loss mamas), or may be (on the cusp) having a baby in that month. If someone went to any other BMB that they had no remote possibility of being in with the same shitshow there would be the same response.

    Like we've continued to say, this isn't about her, it's about how this was handled.

    Except it is a known fact that all BMBs are trolled for interesting posts. Every.single.one of them, especially in the beginning. This is why mods have stepped up and made it known that they are around whether they are pregnant or not. I have seen several BMBs through the beginning weeks, myself.  May15 is being watched by someone who isn't pregnant. We are well aware of the ebb and flow of these boards...which also sets them apart from specialty boards. Nobody trolls the BF board regularly looking for drama.

    @mandjs and I must be missing something here with that poster. She trolled one time, yes? Yet others keep making it a big issue now, she just rides along with it.  If she's bothering this board SO MUCH, please, please, please put that ignore function to good use. We can't ban a poster for being annoying or for posting where she doesn't technically belong.  I have posters on my BMB who have late Nov or early Jan dates. Whatever. If someone gets their kicks from posting on a board 4 weeks after their supposed due date, fine, annoying and ridiculous to me. I don't get the luxury of blocking posters but if I could, this would probably be one I would block if she really bothered me that much.

    If this poster can mind her Ps & Qs, she's good to go in my book.  If she's truly interested in sticking around she'll be able to keep it clean. If she goofs and violates a TOU, the mods involved will start the tracking/warning procedure. When she hits her limit, she'll be banned-and this is where it gets sticky because now that she's a known whateveryouwanttocallher, the mods are going to be accused of being power-trippy and unfair.

    ***quote***

    I don't know how many times we can really say this : Stargirlb is WAY besides the point. She's a medium through which an event happened. What we are concerned about isn't her (her posts are stupid as hell and not even worth reading, which is why I don't).

    You say that warnings are given when posters break rules. Where? THAT is what we are concerned about. Where was the warning here? Where was everyone's warning who was involved? How is the system supposed to work if you DON'T WARN?


    Imma leave this one to the mods involved. I warn via PM most of the time. You'll probably never see a public warning from me. However, we keep rack of the warnings. All of them. On a document. We've suggested a few ways that this could be handled better. IT is "working" on them.



    ***quote***

    That is a big long dancey answer to avoid admitting she was never warned, IMO.

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  • daizedoodaizedoo member
    edited October 2014
    IMO, the ignore feature could use some work. From my recollection, you can still see that the ignored user has posted (not their content, but their name, avatar, etc.), and I think if they're quoted - you can see the quote. (Not entirely sure if I'm correct on the quote though.) If I ignore someone, I don't want to see a thing from them :) It doesn't sound like XO has feature updates and fixes on top of their To-Do list, so this is just my feedback.

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  • ngolimentongolimento member
    edited October 2014
    twolittledogs said:


    MauiBliss said:

    What's the "warning limit" and "tracking"? I don't see that in the TOU. It would be nice to know how many warnings, what this tracking is, etc. 

    @TwoLittleDogs, since you are quite invested in helping us understand all this, can you elaborate on that? See, it just sounds arbitrary because it's not memorialized anywhere.

    I know this is one of your sticking points.

    Right now, it's generally 5 warnings, but there's wiggle room, which sucks. I think 5 warnings is absurd and voice my opinion as often as possible. Ideally there'd be 3 warnings.  All of the mods will tell you this. It's nearly impossible to remember who got warned for what on which board so we now have a document in use. It's only accessible to mods & BJ. This is to help keep things clear across boards & mods. I certainly don't view this on a regular basis, just when I need to add something.

    Wiggle room = 5 warnings in a day means the poster was practically begging to be banned.  5 warnings over the course of a few years is not such a big deal, especially when fuck you is considered warningable. Do you see how/why there's wiggle room with everything?

    We track as a way of keeping things fair. This was an issue with GM. I'd say I warned her for something and then 2 more mods would say they had warned her for something but because each warning was on a different board, nobody knew how many warnings were really being issued to any poster at any time.



    ****quote****

    You know what might fix that ambiguity of how many warnings someone's gotten? Putting it on the the mod board.
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  • kellbell1982kellbell1982 member
    I think we should nominate Pele, I'm off to the thread to do so;) if she would accept?
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  • kellbell1982kellbell1982 member
    SharkFarts said:


    Peledreamsofrain said:

    twolittledogs said:


    Peledreamsofrain said:

    twolittledogs said:




    ***quote***

    I don't know how many times we can really say this : Stargirlb is WAY besides the point. She's a medium through which an event happened. What we are concerned about isn't her (her posts are stupid as hell and not even worth reading, which is why I don't).

    You say that warnings are given when posters break rules. Where? THAT is what we are concerned about. Where was the warning here? Where was everyone's warning who was involved? How is the system supposed to work if you DON'T WARN?


    Imma leave this one to the mods involved. I warn via PM most of the time. You'll probably never see a public warning from me. However, we keep rack of the warnings. All of them. On a document. We've suggested a few ways that this could be handled better. IT is "working" on them.

    ***quote***

    That is a big long dancey answer to avoid admitting she was never warned, IMO.




    Another lurking mod here. Frankly, you don't have any right to know who has been warned or why. Sorry to be blunt, but it's the truth. As TLD said, we have a doc so that the mods can keep track and we also update our report forum and mod board. But we don't have or need to bring any of that to public attention. Most warnings are given via PM. Very, very rarely do people get warned in a thread. I understand that makes it confusing for the public when someone gets banned, but a lot happens behind the scenes that you don't know about.

    Edited to fix my repetitiveness.



    That sounds a little dictator like. I think the issue is more about wanting to know that everything is being handled fairly and equally and I see nothing wrong with @pele wanting to know that things are kosher
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  • transplantedhawkeyetransplantedhawkeye member
    etoille Are you sure you don't want that mod nod?

    And I completely missed what the hell happened, and when it happened. I am so lost.
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  • ngolimentongolimento member
    edited October 2014
    SharkFarts said:


    kellbell1982 said:

    SharkFarts said:


    Peledreamsofrain said:

    twolittledogs said:


    Peledreamsofrain said:

    twolittledogs said:




    ***quote***

    I don't know how many times we can really say this : Stargirlb is WAY besides the point. She's a medium through which an event happened. What we are concerned about isn't her (her posts are stupid as hell and not even worth reading, which is why I don't).

    You say that warnings are given when posters break rules. Where? THAT is what we are concerned about. Where was the warning here? Where was everyone's warning who was involved? How is the system supposed to work if you DON'T WARN?


    Imma leave this one to the mods involved. I warn via PM most of the time. You'll probably never see a public warning from me. However, we keep rack of the warnings. All of them. On a document. We've suggested a few ways that this could be handled better. IT is "working" on them.

    ***quote***

    That is a big long dancey answer to avoid admitting she was never warned, IMO.


    Another lurking mod here. Frankly, you don't have any right to know who has been warned or why. Sorry to be blunt, but it's the truth. As TLD said, we have a doc so that the mods can keep track and we also update our report forum and mod board. But we don't have or need to bring any of that to public attention. Most warnings are given via PM. Very, very rarely do people get warned in a thread. I understand that makes it confusing for the public when someone gets banned, but a lot happens behind the scenes that you don't know about.

    Edited to fix my repetitiveness.



    That sounds a little dictator like. I think the issue is more about wanting to know that everything is being handled fairly and equally and I see nothing wrong with @pele wanting to know that things are kosher


    LOL at dictator-like. It's about trusting your mods. You either trust that yours are taking care of the problems on your board or you don't.

    Mods don't have to let you all know who they have or haven't warned. Pele wanted to know where warnings take place and was upset that she didn't know about it. TLD and I both said they usually happen via PM. They're not public knowledge. Also like TLD said, the M15 mods can decide if they want to let you all know who was warned, but they don't have to. Demanding to know is crossing a line IMO.



    ****quote****
    Demanding to know what is being actually done to rectify a situation is crossing a line? Please explain how. I'd love to hear more about my heinous crime.

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  • BumpJackieBumpJackie member
    Hi ladies,

    To answer some of your questions:

    -Mods are selected based on their ability to remain neutral in situations. When mods are nominated, our team does a thorough check on their past posts to make sure they are an appropriate person for the job. There is no favoritism that goes on behind the scenes, and I am sorry that you feel that there is. If there is a specific instance where you have concerns, please feel free to message me and bring it to my attention.

    -There will be times when issues happen behind the scenes that you are not aware about. Again, mods are chosen to have special privileges because we believe that they are capable of handing conflicts without bringing personal issues to the table. Unfortunately, you will not always be clued into these situations, because that wouldn't be fair to the confidentiality of all of our members on TB.

    -In regards to posting on BMB's that aren't 'yours' - if a member is purposefully causing a stir, then yes, that is considered trolling. Lending your two cents to a discussion and positively contributing to a thread is not trolling. If you would like to hold private conversations, I urge you to check out our social groups where you can do just that!

    If you have any questions, feel free to message me.
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  • BostonAlisonBostonAlison member
    Peledreamsofrain said:
    kellbell1982 said:
    Peledreamsofrain said:
    Peledreamsofrain said:

    ***quote*** I don't know how many times we can really say this : Stargirlb is WAY besides the point. She's a medium through which an event happened. What we are concerned about isn't her (her posts are stupid as hell and not even worth reading, which is why I don't). You say that warnings are given when posters break rules. Where? THAT is what we are concerned about. Where was the warning here? Where was everyone's warning who was involved? How is the system supposed to work if you DON'T WARN?
    Imma leave this one to the mods involved. I warn via PM most of the time. You'll probably never see a public warning from me. However, we keep rack of the warnings. All of them. On a document. We've suggested a few ways that this could be handled better. IT is "working" on them.
    ***quote*** That is a big long dancey answer to avoid admitting she was never warned, IMO.
    Another lurking mod here. Frankly, you don't have any right to know who has been warned or why. Sorry to be blunt, but it's the truth. As TLD said, we have a doc so that the mods can keep track and we also update our report forum and mod board. But we don't have or need to bring any of that to public attention. Most warnings are given via PM. Very, very rarely do people get warned in a thread. I understand that makes it confusing for the public when someone gets banned, but a lot happens behind the scenes that you don't know about.

    Edited to fix my repetitiveness.

    That sounds a little dictator like. I think the issue is more about wanting to know that everything is being handled fairly and equally and I see nothing wrong with @pele wanting to know that things are kosher
    LOL at dictator-like. It's about trusting your mods. You either trust that yours are taking care of the problems on your board or you don't.

    Mods don't have to let you all know who they have or haven't warned. Pele wanted to know where warnings take place and was upset that she didn't know about it. TLD and I both said they usually happen via PM. They're not public knowledge. Also like TLD said, the M15 mods can decide if they want to let you all know who was warned, but they don't have to. Demanding to know is crossing a line IMO.
    ****quote**** Demanding to know what is being actually done to rectify a situation is crossing a line? Please explain how. I'd love to hear more about my heinous crime.





    Is line crossing like a pre-warning?   How many of those are there?   Do we get check registers to keep track of all this?  Is there lines of credit extended?



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  • chaysefaithchaysefaith member
    edited October 2014
    MauiBliss said:


    BumpJackie said:

    Hi ladies,

    To answer some of your questions:

    -Mods are selected based on their ability to remain neutral in situations. When mods are nominated, our team does a thorough check on their past posts to make sure they are an appropriate person for the job. There is no favoritism that goes on behind the scenes, and I am sorry that you feel that there is. If there is a specific instance where you have concerns, please feel free to message me and bring it to my attention.

    -There will be times when issues happen behind the scenes that you are not aware about. Again, mods are chosen to have special privileges because we believe that they are capable of handing conflicts without bringing personal issues to the table. Unfortunately, you will not always be clued into these situations, because that wouldn't be fair to the confidentiality of all of our members on TB.

    -In regards to posting on BMB's that aren't 'yours' - if a member is purposefully causing a stir, then yes, that is considered trolling. Lending your two cents to a discussion and positively contributing to a thread is not trolling. If you would like to hold private conversations, I urge you to check out our social groups where you can do just that!

    If you have any questions, feel free to message me.

    Thanks, Jackie. I don't think any of us, well, I, thought that moderators were unfairly chosen. In a board where they're voted on, some members may not have had a chance to vote; doesn't make it unfair. Just part of the boards. 

    Point 2, I think we all get this and understand why this is the case. Public warnings don't really belong. But thanks for confirming.

    Point 3, I think we have this one covered now, too, but thank you for weighing in, as well. I think we're all, well, most of us, are on the same page on that one. 

    Question for Jackie or any of the mods lurking in here still, are the private social groups still moderated? I seem to recall when they started, moderators could flit in and out of groups. 



    ---quote box goes here---

    No. I looked at someone's post history that I know for a fact is in a social group and I could see none of it.
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  • LadyXaverianLadyXaverian member
    etoille said:
    chaysefaith said:
    I'm tired of all this arguing. I feel like a ping pong ball. So I'm going to make a request: if you're not happy with how I personally have handled a situation send me a PM and tell me what would have made you feel better about it. I love my BMB. You guys are the bees knees. This board started out awesome, got hit was a lot of first tri drama, and is struggling to get back on track. I'm not here to be better than any of you, I'm here to stick up for you, deal with the drama in some sort of official capacity, and help to keep the board working like a well oiled machine. If you need something from me and aren't getting it, let me know. Honestly, you can let me know publicly or via PM, I won't be offended by a call out saying "hey, wtf, we needed you and you let us down." That's my final input on this situation unless you have questions for me specifically.
    FTR - no issues on how either of you two handle things in general or specifically handled this instance.

    This was a failure of enforcement by the J15 mods in my opinion.  Hence my whole 'tie goes to the runner' thing from yesterday.  When the bullshit is happening here, you have priority jurisdiction.  I think you handled the initial incident appropriately and subsequently she hasn't been overtly in contradiction with the TOU.  

    What should have happened was her home board mods (J15) should have taken her aside and warned her that she was on her own over here and instead of encouraging the behavior, they should have told their members to shut up and color.  That didn't happen.

    And you can't control that.  I think it's disappointing but everyone's kimono is open at the moment.  The rest of the mods coming in from random places to attempt to help are making it worse.  The people who fucked up the most reside on J15 and THAT's the conversation mods should be having right now - how to support each other.

    What they're doing isn't supporting you.  They should be taking Lady Xav aside and saying "Dude what the fuck are you doing, you're making us all look like jackasses" and following up with the other mod over there and having an internal discussion on the mod board about how shit like this should get handled in the future.   And letting you guys deal with your members/not coming in with a whole bunch of "YOU DON'T KNOW OUR LYFE" crap.  

    That's how you fix this shit.
    Yes, it did. Not that we're really supposed to divulge that, but yes, private conversations with stargirlb were initiated in the midst of all this.
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