Newbie/FTM questions?

colliebabe · September 2014

Manateearmz said:

Did you have a birth plan? If so, did you follow it?

I had a very short birth plan that was basically just bullet points of things that I wanted to happen. It included things like skin-to-skin, BFing right away, avoid c-section if possible. Not all of it was followed because I wasn't set on a particular type of birth, especially once I found out I was going to be induced. I don't think I even took the paper out of my hospital bag.

nopegoat · September 2014

Epidurals: I had one with both boys. The first one I leaned into my H while they placed it. The second time my H was sent out of the room and I leaned into the nurse. All I felt was a small quick sting. It really wasn't bad at all.

Boobs: I BF both boys for a year. Definitely different afterwards. They stayed a bit bigger afterwards, but definitely not as full or perky.

Birth plans: Didn't really have one either time. I wanted to avoid a csection until absolutely necessary, bf only, and I wanted my boys in the room with me as much as possible.

abcmom12 · September 2014

3girlsnthepup said:

@MissChristineMarie‌ how about this one? We should all be so lucky!! https://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2012/2/6/easiest-births-ever.html

read this and it sounds like a labor urban myth lol but I wish it was me!

colliebabe · September 2014

MissChristineMarie said:

Guys! I want to hear an amazing labor story... all these horror stories are freaking me out. What did I get myself into????

@MissChristineMarie Mine wasn't that bad! I mean, I was in labor for a long ass time and was induced and the pitocin made any thoughts I had of going natural go out the window. But honestly from an induction and epidural point of view, I had a really good experience. I pushed DD out in 17 minutes and had a fairly easy recovery.

nopegoat · September 2014

With my first, first contraction started at 11pm. Got regular and about 5mins apart at about 1am. Got to the hospital around 2:30am was 7cm. 8:25 the Dr broke my water, he was born at 8:48am.

I was technically induced with my second because I was 5cm at my last appt and my OB sent me straight to L&D.

Manateearmz · September 2014

Glad to hear that I'm not alone in the birth plan department. Mine was to get an epidural, no other drugs, and to so skin to skin.

Once I found out the anesthesiologist was in a c-section and wouldn't be available for another hour I practically begged for any and all drugs they could get me. It was glorious and I do not regret it. She came out and that was the only plan I had past that point in time.

mlee116 · September 2014

@MissChristineMarie, there is an older lady at my church who has 7 kids and said that she never had labor pains with any of them. She said that every single time, her back would get achy and tight and she'd get contractions that felt like BH. So she'd go ahead and go to the hospital and a little while later, she felt the urge so she "pushed 'em on out!" in her words.

She also said she never had morning sickness. She is definitely a freak of nature, lol.

soulcupcake · September 2014

Manateearmz said:

I'm going to ask a question to the other STM's since we seem to be focusing on labor itself. Did you have a birth plan? If so, did you follow it? I had a very loose plan and didn't stick to it. I've heard pros and cons. Some mothers talk about going in with pages and pages of a birth plan and end up disappointed when a c-section is needed or additional medications like pitocen is required. Thoughts?

The tricky thing with the traditional birth plan route in a hospital setting is that you're still going against a system based largely on routine practices. If that system is not designed around low or minimal interventions then it is often an uphill battle for those hoping to have a med-free or natural birth in a hospital. There are *some* hospitals, often in more progressive areas, that have more options available to those planning a med-free birth or who opt for birth plans, but the majority of staff and L&D units are not going to be as receptive.

That isn't to say that birth plans are a wash, but it should be understood that when you choose X setting for "alternative" methods it makes sense to consider that you may not get what you want. It's not because the alternative methods or options failed, but when you're in an environment that doesn't fully support them, and you're pressured into doing X, Y Z, that "plan" goes out the window. You don't go to McDonald's if you want a gourmet cheeseburger. If you really want a gourmet cheeseburger you go to a restaurant that serves gourmet cheeseburgers. Unless a particular L&D unit encourages birth plans and low intervention model of care, it can be a challenge to have the birth one plans for.

If a patient knows well in advance that they have an extensive birth plan it would make more sense to choose an out-of-hospital birth route, or try to find a natural birth-friendly hospital that is more accommodating.

And the vast majority of "c-section was required" in these and many other situations were not related to "birth went awry for some unknown reason" or "see, childbirth can be risky and dangerous!" No, it was due to how the labor/birth was managed in that setting. A labor that is more heavily managed is at risk for a host of drawbacks and complications, complications that eventually necessitate a c-section. So a mom walking in with high hopes of an uneventual birth who ends up consenting to AROM, cytotec or pitocin only to end up with uterine tachysystole or tetany leading to late decels and severe bradycardia, is it any wonder that a c-section becomes necessary when baby's heart rate doesn't recover? I mean, really. Had the aforementioned interventions not been part of the equation the end result would likely have been different.

Any time uterine stimulants are involved there's always a risk they'll lead to adverse reactions, and adverse reactions that necessitate a c-section. And unless mom is high risk, there is little reason to induce or augment, especially as it is routinely done. So if one wants to avoid these routine practices, as they're very common even when a mom hopes for a low intervention birth, choose another birth setting.

And we see this in out-of-hospital births. An average hospital transfer rate for free-standing birth centers is about 10%, with the bulk of it being FTMs, and of that percentage, only 2% are emergent transfers. The majority who do transfer to the hospital transfer because mom's had a prolonged labor or second stage, is exhausted, needs sleep and/or pain medication. That means 90% of birth center clients who basically have a "birth plan" end up with exactly what they wanted, but that's because they chose the setting that is more likely to yield those results. They wanted to birth at a facility that encouraged X model of care, and that's what they got. Going anywhere else runs the risk of, well, not getting that because that is not their model of care.

I wasn't aware of the concept of a birth plan 10 years ago with my first. It wasn't until after I had her and grew interested in med-free and natural birth that I began looking into my options. I did have a pretty simple and straightforward birth plan with my second. I desired a homebirth, but it wasn't at option at the time. I did get exactly what I wanted, and I had a supportive staff and natural birth-friendly midwife. But, I was still part of a system that tries to follow its own system. So when I was not in labor at 7 cm, despite being perfectly fine, and she (daughter) being perfectly fine, guess what?

The midwife on call suggested pitocin to induce labor. Pitocin wasn't necessary. I hadn't even been admitted for two hours by that time. It's just that I wasn't doing what I "should" have been doing. I was not progressing according to the doctor's "plan." (who the midwife answered to) When that is the case, mom gets induced or augmented. I declined it without hesitation, and chose a different method to get labor started, which worked. But the point stands, even in really good conditions (supportive staff), there's still going to be resistance, especially when labor doesn't follow the time clock. Had there been the option to birth at a birth center at home there would have been no rush to induce labor aggressively. It would have been a "wait and see" or try walking or other methods.

I also had a "birth plan" with #3 and #4: Stay my ass home. That would best ensure I receive the care I desired. And the same applies this time.

Manateearmz · September 2014

As far as the epi slowing things down I labored at home from 7-12 checked in dilated to a 3 I think? Got my epidural in the hospital at 4:30 dilated to 5. They told me about a CM an hour. I started pushing at 10pm and due to her being flipped sunny side up didn't have her till 12:37.

So for me it made no difference in my progression.

The nurse explained to me that epidurals don't always slow things down something about relaxing muscles and allowing them to contract or something (I was too out of it to care).

VMac1984 · September 2014

PacoCat33 said:
On the epidural... can you pee when on it? How does that work? I know with a c-section, you typically have a catheter.

I had a catheter for a vaginal birth with and epidural.

Manateearmz · September 2014

@aeonlux‌ I totally get what you're saying. It is very important for everyone to research the birth method they want and choose the appropriate way to attain it.

As far as the pitocen thing, as soon as I checked in they asked me if I wanted it. I gave her a blank stare and said "uhhh let's see how this goes before we start pushing that. Let me walk around first". Seriously.

AllTheTeaInChina · September 2014

MissChristineMarie said:
Guys! I want to hear an amazing labor story... all these horror stories are freaking me out. What did I get myself into????

Labor is tough. I wouldn't really believe someone that said it was best, most enjoyable, pleasant experience of their life. But it is an incredibly awesome thing, giving birth to your child.

It is painful and exhausting but I wouldn't change a thing. And here I am ready to do it again.

Annya26 · September 2014

I think birth plans are fine as long as you are completely fine with tossing it out the window. More so I would plan to be educated on all of the different possibilities and interventions so you are prepared for any circumstance.

Also my birth/recovery story isn't great but my friend had almost an identical labour and we both had 9lb babies - she was up running errands and feeling pretty good within a few days. Second baby was born at home - 4 hours start to finish and almost zero recovery time.

Another friend went to the midwife for a check up and was told she was 5cm and in active labour. At 9cm she was comfortably chatting with people in the waiting room with no drugs or epi. She just didn't feel her contractions.

Lots of people have "easy" labours and great recoveries

soulcupcake · September 2014

Manateearmz said:

@aeonlux‌ I totally get what you're saying. It is very important for everyone to research the birth method they want and choose the appropriate way to attain it. As far as the pitocen thing, as soon as I checked in they asked me if I wanted it. I gave her a blank stare and said "uhhh let's see how this goes before we start pushing that. Let me walk around first". Seriously.

I'm often surprised how it's offered and suggested so willy-nilly, and often for convenience sake. It's not a very fun experience for a lot of moms, which isn't to say labor itself is a merry-go-round of smiles and laughs, but pitocin is known to make the labor process harder and increases the risks of adverse reactions.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

@manateearmz yay for sunny side up kids! My son was sunny side up too. He came out with a scar on his forehead from my bone. It finally faded and then right before his first birthday he fell and cut his head open in the exact same spot and now has another scar. That kid is destined to have a scar on his forehead in that exact place.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

MissChristineMarie said:

leosmom25 said:

@manateearmz yay for sunny side up kids! My son was sunny side up too. He came out with a scar on his forehead from my bone. It finally faded and then right before his first birthday he fell and cut his head open in the exact same spot and now has another scar. That kid is destined to have a scar on his forehead in that exact place.

He's Harry Potter obviously.

We have joked about this since the day he was born. You can kinda see it in this picture. Sorry I'm at work and my pictures are limited here.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

nesenotes · September 2014

@PugLife5869‌ thank you for sharing that planned C-sec story. I'm really really holding on to hope it will be that way for me this go around since I will have a planned c. When my BP bottomed out I started puking and shit went downhill for me quickly. But I'm hoping with this knowledge the anesthesiologist will be able to counter it somehow and I'll be able to hold her immediately this time.

bowlwoman · September 2014

Ok, catching up from the past couple of days. Damn, we D14 ladies love to chat!

haloform said:

Thanks for this thread and all the candid answers to us FTMs' questions! It's quite a reality check but really helpful.

My question - I used to have incredibly terrible menstrual cramps - basically I could feel my uterus cramping up violently, I would feel it in my back too and radiating down into my legs. I'd get really nauseous and sweaty and shaky. Basically the pain was so intense I would lie on the floor or the bed and cry from the pain and the intense feeling that almost felt like needing to push something out. I've always kind of imagined that labor will feel similarly. Am I way off base?

@haloform I had horrible cramps all throughout high school, which is what originally lead me to going on birth control pills in college. I was induced with both girls, and DD1 was horrible. All the contractions were more than I remember with my worst cramps in high school. With DD2, the contractions weren't that bad, about on par with the top 10% of bad period cramps. I liken pain to colors sometimes, and the DD1 contractions were like white-hot lightning searing through my pelvis. DD2's contractions were more red/orange/yellow firey, if that makes any sense at all.

smack427 said:

Sorry, I'm really late to this one, I have been super busy today and I'm finally sitting down... But this thread is a great idea. I definitely teared up @leosmom25‌ 's comment about meeting the baby for the first time. That's exactly how I imagine it to be. I can't wait to find out what this "new baby smell" is like, too! My question is about PP depression. I know some people that have struggled with it for a long time after their child was born (a year or more). I have done some research but being a FTM I feel like I don't know enough about it. I know this is a personal question and if you don't want to respond I understand 100%. But if you don't mind-Did you have it? And what do you recommend to help prevent it?

@smack427 I had PPD pretty badly after DD2, and I suspect now looking back that I had it after DD1 as well. I have PCOS, and PCOS moms are twice as likely to get PPD, and I was one of the lucky ones. The back-to-back pregnancies didn't help the hormone levels, either.

I was diagnosed when DD2 was 7 months old, right after the holidays that year, and I was on meds for about 4 1/2 years until a year ago (right after DD2 turned 5). I also did a lot of therapy off and on during those years. DH and I did some couples counseling as well, which really helped. My OB said that you can do exclusively meds, exclusively counseling, or both, and usually the moms that do both have the best and fastest "recovery" rates.

Since I still have the hormone imbalance and the history, this is definitely something DH and I are going to be on the lookout for. Plus, I have a MUCH better support system in terms of friends this time around (my ex-friends are probably a big part of why it hit me so hard after DD2...they were septic cunts all around). So, I have lots of caring and supportive people who are looking out for me this time around and I'll get help sooner than later if I need it this time. It's a wait and see game for me at this point.

katehgee said:

Thanks so much for educating us FTMs, ladies. This is very helpful. For those of you who had epidurals, what was that experience like? The L&D nurse who taught our childbirth class explained it to us, and it seemed like there's a lot of stuff going on during the placement of the epidural. Do you even give a shit at that point?

ninee88 said:
Really appreciating this thread! My questions are about epidurals. Initially I was completely on board with getting an epidural. After my labor and delivery class at the hospital this weekend, I'm a little less sure about it. I'm curious if moms who received epidurals felt like their labor slowed significantly at that point? The class made it seem like while epidurals were a great way to get a break/rest from a long and tiring labor, they tend to slow down labor, necessitating pitocin and other interventions. Also, anyone go into labor on the fence about an epidural and get through labor without it? Or is unmediated birth something you really need to be committed to ahead of time? And finally, did anyone who received and epidural feel really limited by only laboring in bed at that point? How much/easy was it to move around in bed and did you even care by then?

@katehgee @ninee88 I so didn't want an epidural with DD1. I was GD, and I knew there was a good chance I'd be induced, but I really didn't want an epidural because I had heard all the horror stories. Once they started the induction, I was barely 4 cm and doing transition level breathing (see contractions discussion above). DH and I had a birth plan that specified my "safe word" that I was going to give him if I decided to go off plan and get one, and that word was out of my mouth about 2 hours in.

To add insult to injury, the anesthesiologist missed the nerve the first time and had to stick me again. At that point I SO didn't care.

With DD2, the contractions were pretty textbook, and since I didn't have the same phobia the second time, I elected for the epidural around 6 cm.

Both times it was great. Once the contractions were eased, I lounged in bed, watched some TV, called friends and family on my phone, played games...it was pretty nice. I definitely enjoyed my experience both times.

sbevann26 said:

BF moms, did your boobs go back to normal after? What about the shape/size of your aerola/nipples? I know nothing will be 100% but wishful thinking !

@sbevann26 Yes, but it took several years. I have a big weird anti-fetish about lactation, so for DH, the girls are off limits until I'm done breastfeeding. I had two pregnancies pretty back to back (had DD1, breastfed for 10 months until she self-weaned, had one period in September and got pregnant in October, then breastfed DD2 for a year), so it was a good 6-8 months after I was done bfeeding DD2 that I felt really normal again. Size, shape, coloring, mostlly all back to normal.

I have noticed that during this pregnancy my nipples have gotten a lot darker than they did with the girls, so I have no idea what's going to happen this time.

Manateearmz said:

I'm going to ask a question to the other STM's since we seem to be focusing on labor itself. Did you have a birth plan? If so, did you follow it? I had a very loose plan and didn't stick to it. I've heard pros and cons. Some mothers talk about going in with pages and pages of a birth plan and end up disappointed when a c-section is needed or additional medications like pitocen is required. Thoughts?

@Manateearmz I had a birth plan with DD1, but being high risk going in I knew there was a good chance I'd throw it out the window. And I pretty much did. I didn't have one with DD2.

MissChristineMarie said:
Guys! I want to hear an amazing labor story... all these horror stories are freaking me out. What did I get myself into????

@MissChristineMarie I was high risk with both girls, and had to be induced with both. I got epidurals. Even with all these higher risk factors, both my labors went great.

With DD1, I got the pitocin and water broken around 7 AM, got the epidural about 10-10:30, then it was great. The only problem was when they turned me to my right side, baby's heart rate dropped, so they slapped oxygen on me and kept me on my left side. I watched TV for a few hours, DH went out to get some lunch, then around 4PM I started pushing, pushed for an hour, and had a baby just after 5 PM. Got wheeled to my postpartum room by 7 PM with dinner, just in time to see the Cardinals win Game 4 in the 2006 World Series.

With DD2, I got the pitocin and water broken around 6:30 AM, got the epidural around 9, played on my phone, called friends, watched some TV. I had the charge/head nurse and a trainee, which was fine, except when the head nurse went to lunch. I felt some pain through my epidural around 1:20, and I told the trainee. She said that I needed to plunge my epidural again, pressed the button, and went back to monitoring my contractions on the monitor. DH got back from lunch about 1:30, head nurse about 1:40. She checked me, looked at me funny, and asked if I felt the urge to push. I said, "No, but I had some pain about 20 minutes ago and trainee upped my epidural. Why?" "You're crowning. Don't move." She called my OB, he got there just before 2 PM, I pushed 3 times and had DD2 just before 2:15. So, lesson here? If you feel pain during the epidural, MAKE THEM CHECK YOU BEFORE THEY PUSH THE EPI PLUNGER!

JennaRaek · September 2014

MissChristineMarie said: Guys! I want to hear an amazing labor story... all these horror stories are freaking me out. What did I get myself into????

I had what I consider a good experience. I was just reading my birth story that I wrote back when I was 11 weeks PP trying to prepare myself for this again. Looking back on it, it's sort of funny because I was already KU again and didn't know it. Here's our story if you want to read it. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12291005/our-story#latest

soulcupcake · September 2014

Annya26 said:

I think birth plans are fine as long as you are completely fine with tossing it out the window. More so I would plan to be educated on all of the different possibilities and interventions so you are prepared for any circumstance. Also my birth/recovery story isn't great but my friend had almost an identical labour and we both had 9lb babies - she was up running errands and feeling pretty good within a few days. Second baby was born at home - 4 hours start to finish and almost zero recovery time. Another friend went to the midwife for a check up and was told she was 5cm and in active labour. At 9cm she was comfortably chatting with people in the waiting room with no drugs or epi. She just didn't feel her contractions. Lots of people have "easy" labours and great recoveries

But that's the thing, they're typically "tossed out the window" in an environment that does not favor that model of care. It isn't so much a case of "birth plans are fine until something goes awry" because for 95+% of low risk women who birth outside the hospital, they get the birth they planned for. That means tossing it out the window isn't some common or usual occurrence in a setting that follows a particular model of care as a rule.

I'm fully prepared to transfer to the hospital in the event I need a hospital transfer. If I'm the 2% that requires a c-section. I'm pretty familiar with a variety of situations where things go wrong, but I also know that it's extremely rare for a labor/birth to require emergent attention when it isn't being "managed." (usual measures of induction and augmentation) Most decisions made are in response to a previous intervention or procedure, and not a response to something amiss out of the blue (cord compression, cord prolapse, placental abruption, amniotic fluid embolism, uterine inversion, true shoulder dystocia, severe pre-e, etc.) Those situations are extremely rare and can happen even before labor or at the very early stages prior to being admitted where a birth plan wouldn't have had a chance to be implemented.

But complications like decelarations leading to severe bradycardia and fetal distress is often the result of uterine stimulants resulting in uterine hyperstimulation. Fetal distress is one of the most common reasons for c-sections after a woman has been induced or augmented (severe bradycardia and tachycardia, which can be caused by in utero infection as a result of prolonged ROM.) Fetal distress is uncommon outside that setting. Birth plans wouldn't need to be tossed out routinely if it weren't for these very common routine practices that are statistically known to have adverse effects.

AngelSong76 · September 2014

Okay, I know these have been answered before, but since every experience is different...

I was a c-section mama after 11 hours of labor (back and front) and basically no progress.

The epidural wasn't bad. But it wore off. Placing the second wasn't bad either. They did try to kick my husband out of the room and I refused to let him leave. I needed him to lean on because one side of my body was completely dead still. That is something that I was surprised about and didn't really like. I had never been numb before and when the entire lower half of your body is numb for 11 hours, it just gets really uncomfortable. Like I had a moment when I was afraid I would never get the feeling back. They had to talk me through that panic attack and it wasn't pretty.

The c-section was pretty straightforward once we decided to do it. Being shaved by the nurse was pretty embarrassing, but by that point, I was just ready to get the baby out.

I did send Hubbs out of the room for that part.

That moment when you see the baby for the first time - I got a few seconds of it before they took him to the special care nursery for fluid in his lungs. But those few seconds are moments I will never forget. He was so pretty, so perfect. I saw his dad and my dad and my mom and myself in that tiny face. It was absolutely overwhelming. All I could do was look at him, tears streaming down my face, and say "hi baby." I had to wait two hours before I could hold him again and when they finally brought him to me (freshly bathed and swaddled) I just held him and never wanted to let go. It also took a couple of months for both of us to stop feeling like we were going to break him. He looked so tiny and fragile!

Recovery wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, even with a c-section. I took their advice and took it easy. But I also took walks around the maternity floor from the next day until we got out of the hospital and I think that really helped.

The first shower after surgery was BAD. Coughing and laughing hurts. If you have to have a c-section, keep a pillow handy to hold against your incision so you can cough and laugh without it killing you.

Stool softeners are your friend. Do not be stingy about taking them. It took 7 days for me to poop and it was awful. I cried and cried on the toilet. When it finally happened, it felt like I had gone through pushing out a baby after all, only through the wrong hole.

I used my husband a lot in the first two weeks. He was a lifesaver when I didn't feel like I could get up to get pain medicine or change the baby. He went out of town when Nathan was three weeks old, so I had to do it all myself then, but after two solid weeks of taking it easy, I was ready.

I didn't bleed too excessively. It had stopped before my 6 week appointment. I never had clots either - I'm assuming they suck all that out during a c-section. I know they cleaned a lot of stuff out because in one of the pictures you can see the machine where all the blood went after being suctioned and it was a lot.

PPD - I had a mild case of it. I was one of the odd ones, I guess. I felt an instant connection with my son, but lost a lot of it when we struggled with breastfeeding. That was very difficult for me, and when we were 1 percentage point away from failure to thrive at his 1 month appointment, we decided to supplement. Best decision ever, in my opinion. The connection grew back and we bonded better than ever. I no longer cried when trying to feed him because I knew if he couldn't get enough from me, he could still eat. He started gaining weight and looking like a normal baby rather than a starving one. We went to formula exclusively at just under 3 months and I felt normal again for the first time in a long time. I didn't really realize how bad it was until I was finished with it. That's why, with this one, we are going to try breastfeeding but I'm not going to let it consume me. A happy mama means a happy baby.

And I'm throwing this one in for free... well-baby check ups are like midterms. At least at my Pedi, we always feel like we are being tested. Try not to let them stress you out too much, and if you don't like your Pedi, (due to bedside manner, methods, philosophy, or whatever) go find another one.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

LadyThrice said:

I love this thread. I'm terrified. But I can't stop reading it.

Did anyone experience an "omg I'm in labor and this is totally unexpected" labor or was everyone pretty much well aware they were reaching critical stage?

I ask because I'm planning on working up until the end. My office is 30 minutes from my house, 40 minutes from DH's office, and 45 minutes from the hospital and they are all in different directions. I wonder if I will have time to go home, wait for DH, and then go to the hospital together before things get critical. Maybe I'm living in la-la-land....?

Personally, I knew I was in labor. At first it was like holy crap, is this it?! But like I said before, I labored at home for 12 hours before going to the hospital. At first the contractions were questionable but once I realized they had some sort of pattern I just knew this was it. DH didn't believe me so he went back to sleep, hence 12 hours of labor at home, but hey it all worked out.

AngelSong76 · September 2014

Oh, and I had a birth plan. I even had a music playlist I wanted played. It went out the window almost from the beginning because I just didn't care. Pitocin contractions suck, and I didn't care what music was playing during them!

sysakbaby · September 2014

MissChristineMarie said:

3girlsnthepup said:

@MissChristineMarie‌ how about this one? We should all be so lucky!! https://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2012/2/6/easiest-births-ever.html

This almost seems unreal... not one, not two, BUT THREE quick painless births?! I don't know if I believe it.

Like I said earlier in this thread, I am aiming for an orgasmic birth. It's gonna happen. In a little over three months, I will be coming on here telling you all my orgasmic birth story. Watch and see...

@MissChristineMarie I'm a FTM but I have basically asked everyone I know about their birth story. Most of them were really great!

My Mom: Im the oldest and with my birth it was about 10 hours total (active labor) and she felt no pain and went med free. Her recovery went very smoothly, she had no tearing and she doesn't remember the first poop being bad at all. She breast fed me for a year. With my sister her labor was only 6 hours and she felt pain but was still able to go med free. Her recovery was great with my sister too, no tearing. She had issues with breast milk supply with my sister (which she thinks was caused by no enough hydration but shes unsure) and she breast fed her for 6 months.

My Aunt: She has three daughters, she also went med free. Her labors averaged about 15 - 20 hrs active labor. With her middle child and youngest she had a first degree tear that she didn't feel happen. Her recovery was pretty easy, she said the worst part of the tears was the itching as it healed but the witch hazel helped with that. She couldnt remember her first PP poop lol.

Friend #1: She has two sons, both she did med free in a birthing tub. Her labors were both about 13 hours active labor and she went med free. She had no tearing with either of them. Her recovery physically was very easy but she had PPD with her first. She knew she was at risk for PPD so she was already seeing a therapist and made sure she got the support she needed to get her through. Plus her close friends helped out where we could. She didnt take any stool softeners and said her first PP poop was unremarkable.

Friend #2: She had to be induced because she started leaking amnionic fluid a few days after her due date (the day she started leaking was christmas so she waited to go to the hospital until the next day) since she had been leaking for 24 hours they needed to induce. She did 8 hours on pitocin without meds and then got an epidural. Her little boy came 2 hours later. She had a third degree tear which made recovery difficult. She had an inflated donut thing she sat on for about a week and it was a long time before sex felt comfortable again. I was with her 2 days after her labor and she was feeling pretty good except for sitting up/sitting down/laughing caused her pain in the area where her stitches were. Her first poop after baby didnt suck that bad because she knew to take stool softeners.

Anyway ... those were all great non-scary stories. Ofcourse there are others who fall in line with some of the stories here, and others that were like those above. I think knowing the full spectrum of things that can happen makes things less scary. You know the worst that can happen and can be prepared for it. Have the stuff you need to make life easier, if you end up like my mom then you'd be super over-prepared but no worse off. If you have a different type of birth you'll have what you need to get through it all.

Just thought I'd share

turkeyleg5 · September 2014

Speaking of easy labors: A friend of a friend recently gave birth at home on the toilet. She didn't feel any contractions (or at least any that felt any different than BH), and thought she had to poop, and out popped a baby. Luckily, mom and baby were both completely fine and healthy. As much as I'd love an easy labor, I'm not sure if I want it to be quite that easy.

I definitely wouldn't mind something like what my sister had for #2, though. She was in the hospital (no meds) and walking/talking/laughing through contractions up until she was ready to push. She sent me out to get a doctor when she felt it was time, but they refused to send one since she obviously couldn't be that far along if she could still walk/talk through the contractions. Luckily, she was insistent when I returned, so I tried again and they gave in. Doctor arrived, checked her out, told her to push, and 2-3 pushes later, baby was there.

PacoCat33 · September 2014

turkeyleg5 said:

Speaking of easy labors: A friend of a friend recently gave birth at home on the toilet. She didn't feel any contractions (or at least any that felt any different than BH), and thought she had to poop, and out popped a baby. Luckily, mom and baby were both completely fine and healthy. As much as I'd love an easy labor, I'm not sure if I want it to be quite that easy.

I definitely wouldn't mind something like what my sister had for #2, though. She was in the hospital (no meds) and walking/talking/laughing through contractions up until she was ready to push. She sent me out to get a doctor when she felt it was time, but they refused to send one since she obviously couldn't be that far along if she could still walk/talk through the contractions. Luckily, she was insistent when I returned, so I tried again and they gave in. Doctor arrived, checked her out, told her to push, and 2-3 pushes later, baby was there.

Every time I go poop, I think of this and get nervous that I'm going to poop out my baby. Please lord don't let me poop him out.

AllTheTeaInChina · September 2014

LadyThrice said:
I love this thread. I'm terrified. But I can't stop reading it.

Did anyone experience an "omg I'm in labor and this is totally unexpected" labor or was everyone pretty much well aware they were reaching critical stage?

I ask because I'm planning on working up until the end. My office is 30 minutes from my house, 40 minutes from DH's office, and 45 minutes from the hospital and they are all in different directions. I wonder if I will have time to go home, wait for DH, and then go to the hospital together before things get critical. Maybe I'm living in la-la-land....?

I was a day past my due date so not totally unexpected. I was in bed reaching to shut off my lamp when the first contraction hit. I remember thinking "hmm, that's new" and noted the time. Sure enough about 20 minutes later another hit. My plan was to labor at home as long as possible to avoid unnecessary interventions at the hospital. We went in about 6.5hr later when contractions were about 5 min apart.

You should have plenty of time to get home but depending how strong your contractions are, might not to able to drive.

kapio2012 · September 2014

PacoCat33 said:

Manateearmz said:

PacoCat33 said:
On the epidural... can you pee when on it? How does that work? I know with a c-section, you typically have a catheter.
Catheter.

I'm surprised you don't push the catheter out...

Catheters give me the willies... but, at least you don't feel it when they put it in and take it out. At least, please tell me you don't.

After the catheter is put in, there is a balloon that is inflated with 10cc of sterile water. That makes a good sized balloon so that catheter is staying in your bladder. Sometimes during labor they will deflate the balloon and let it work its way out with the pushing.

This particular forum is nice and helpful, but somewhat terrifying for me as a first time mom. Lol. But in any case, I am super excited and ready for it to be December so Baby will be here

AngelSong76 · September 2014

PugLife5869 said:

nesenotes said:

@PugLife5869‌ thank you for sharing that planned C-sec story. I'm really really holding on to hope it will be that way for me this go around since I will have a planned c. When my BP bottomed out I started puking and shit went downhill for me quickly. But I'm hoping with this knowledge the anesthesiologist will be able to counter it somehow and I'll be able to hold her immediately this time.

No problem. Honestly, it was a good experience. The one funny thing that happened was when my doc was pulling her out my DD got super squirmy and slipped back in. My doctor let out an "oops". I knew nothing was wrong because my DH was watching and wasn't freaking out but I definitely let him know that "oops" is on the do not say in surgery while the mother is awake list! The nurses were giving him a hard time about it.

I really hope that you have a great experience and that you can talk to them about the bp issues beforehand and have a plan. That would really make for an unpleasant experience.

Haha, your "oops" story is great - after they sewed me up they did an instrument count and only count 9 out of 10 of something. I didn't catch what it was, but it was some kind of surgical instrument. A nurse found #10 under a towel or something at the same time that they were talking about going back in. I wanted to hug her for finding it.

Annya26 · September 2014

aeonlux said:

Annya26 said:

I think birth plans are fine as long as you are completely fine with tossing it out the window. More so I would plan to be educated on all of the different possibilities and interventions so you are prepared for any circumstance.

Also my birth/recovery story isn't great but my friend had almost an identical labour and we both had 9lb babies - she was up running errands and feeling pretty good within a few days. Second baby was born at home - 4 hours start to finish and almost zero recovery time.

Another friend went to the midwife for a check up and was told she was 5cm and in active labour. At 9cm she was comfortably chatting with people in the waiting room with no drugs or epi. She just didn't feel her contractions.

Lots of people have "easy" labours and great recoveries

But that's the thing, they're typically "tossed out the window" in an environment that does not favor that model of care. It isn't so much a case of "birth plans are fine until something goes awry" because for 95+% of low risk women who birth outside the hospital, they get the birth they planned for. That means tossing it out the window isn't some common or usual occurrence in a setting that follows a particular model of care as a rule.

I'm fully prepared to transfer to the hospital in the event I need a hospital transfer. If I'm the 2% that requires a c-section. I'm pretty familiar with a variety of situations where things go wrong, but I also know that it's extremely rare for a labor/birth to require emergent attention when it isn't being "managed." (usual measures of induction and augmentation) Most decisions made are in response to a previous intervention or procedure, and not a response to something amiss out of the blue (cord compression, cord prolapse, placental abruption, amniotic fluid embolism, uterine inversion, true shoulder dystocia, severe pre-e, etc.) Those situations are extremely rare and can happen even before labor or at the very early stages prior to being admitted where a birth plan wouldn't have had a chance to be implemented.

But complications like decelarations leading to severe bradycardia and fetal distress is often the result of uterine stimulants resulting in uterine hyperstimulation. Fetal distress is one of the most common reasons for c-sections after a woman has been induced or augmented (severe bradycardia and tachycardia, which can be caused by in utero infection as a result of prolonged ROM.) Fetal distress is uncommon outside that setting. Birth plans wouldn't need to be tossed out routinely if it weren't for these very common routine practices that are statistically known to have adverse effects.

I think this depends on how in depth your birth plan is... Many I have seen involve certain music, or certain positions they plan to labour in. I thought I would want to be in the bath - turns out I hated being in the water and walked around for relief. I had no interventions, but his cord was compressed and as a result I needed an episiotomy because his heart rate was at 50 and stayed there.

Also from what I have seen there are not that many of us who plan to deliver outside of a hospital - most will be in a hospital, where interventions are much more likely.

Hopefully everyone gets the birth they want - I just think it's good to be prepared to throw that plan out the window, because often it isn't something you actually get to plan.

AngelSong76 · September 2014

PugLife5869 said:

AngelSong76 said:

PugLife5869 said:

nesenotes said:

@PugLife5869‌ thank you for sharing that planned C-sec story. I'm really really holding on to hope it will be that way for me this go around since I will have a planned c. When my BP bottomed out I started puking and shit went downhill for me quickly. But I'm hoping with this knowledge the anesthesiologist will be able to counter it somehow and I'll be able to hold her immediately this time.

No problem. Honestly, it was a good experience. The one funny thing that happened was when my doc was pulling her out my DD got super squirmy and slipped back in. My doctor let out an "oops". I knew nothing was wrong because my DH was watching and wasn't freaking out but I definitely let him know that "oops" is on the do not say in surgery while the mother is awake list! The nurses were giving him a hard time about it.

I really hope that you have a great experience and that you can talk to them about the bp issues beforehand and have a plan. That would really make for an unpleasant experience.

Haha, your "oops" story is great - after they sewed me up they did an instrument count and only count 9 out of 10 of something. I didn't catch what it was, but it was some kind of surgical instrument. A nurse found #10 under a towel or something at the same time that they were talking about going back in. I wanted to hug her for finding it.

Oh my. I would be freaking out! I think I would write that nurse a thank you note!

She was the nurse who sat with me all through my 11 hours of labor before the c-section. She got a gift before we left.

Eora3 · September 2014

I have had a birth plan for both my deliveries. It was more a list of preferences and "not ok" options. I had an unsuccessful induction that ended in an emergency c-section and my birth plan was still relevant. My second child was a planned c-section and I still made my birth plan.

Both times I have shared the birth plan with my OB and discussed it point by point. When we are both happy with it, I have her sign it and enter it into my medical file. I take signed copies with me to the hospital and they get entered into my file there as well. My OB has said that it counts as "doctor's orders" since it is signed by her.

Advice: Keep your birth plan one page long. Divide it into "mom" and "baby" sections. Subdivide those sections in a logical way (vaginal birth preferences, c-section preferences, medication preferences, post delivery preferences). Use bold headings and short bullet points.

Have a copy posted in your L&D room. Have your SO hand one out to your main nurse (and hand out a new copy after shift change).

If you have preferences regarding your LO's care, have a copy of those preferences on a note card that can be kept in the baby's bassinet. My hospital taped it to the inside so it was clearly displayed. Again keep it really short and clear (ie "No Circ", "No Vax").

soulcupcake · September 2014

LadyThrice said:

I love this thread. I'm terrified. But I can't stop reading it.

Did anyone experience an "omg I'm in labor and this is totally unexpected" labor or was everyone pretty much well aware they were reaching critical stage?

I ask because I'm planning on working up until the end. My office is 30 minutes from my house, 40 minutes from DH's office, and 45 minutes from the hospital and they are all in different directions. I wonder if I will have time to go home, wait for DH, and then go to the hospital together before things get critical. Maybe I'm living in la-la-land....?

I had a "spontaneous birth" as a result of the maternal-fetal ejection reflex with my fourth. I was planning a homebirth, and we knew to expect a very fast labor (<60 minutes), but with him, one moment I was not in labor, and the next, I felt a few intense contractions that basically ejected him out. There was no labor to speak of. Just before those powerful contractions I had gotten off the phone with my mom telling her I'd call her once labor started.

It's sometimes termed "spontaneous birth reflex."

And with my second, I only experienced what would count as active "labor" for 47 minutes. 32 minutes before her birth I felt strong tightening that I thought was probably the real deal.

RobinettMomma · September 2014

taylojade57 said:
For people who weren't induced last time... How long after your water broke/ you went into labor did you go to the hospital?

My water broke on the exit ramp to the hospital and then he was crowning when i got into the triage

RobinettMomma · September 2014

sbevann26 said:
BF moms, did your boobs go back to normal after? What about the shape/size of your aerola/nipples? I know nothing will be 100% but wishful thinking !

Mine look like orangutan titties after i was breastfeeding....

they were gorgeous when they were full but afterwards they went down a cup size from my normal size and were saggy with stretch marks.

birdytn · October 2014

Recovery after both my vaginal deliveries was much easier than I had expected. I had large babies (both 8'8" with 15" heads) with 2nd degree episiotomy with the first and small tear with the second . I could comfortably sit within a few days and by one week after my second was born, I could easily sit cross legged in the floor and play with my toddler. That being said, I carefully followed all the restrictions given to me by the hospital--no lifting anything heavier than your baby for 2 weeks (that means--no carrying baby in the carseat) and limit going up down stairs. I really think following the restrictions aided in my recovery. I think my bleeding only lasted about 3 weeks--1.5 week of heavy followed by light.

First postpartum bowel movement also was not as bad as I was expecting--faithfully took my stool softeners and it just kind of slid out. I did not take any narcotics post birth, so I know that can make constipation worse. One tip to help during the first couple bowel movements is to put your feet up on a stool. If your knees are higher than your butt, it shortens the rectal vault area and decreases the amount of pushing needed.

One thing I was not prepared for after my first birth was the intense cramping while breastfeeding. It was so much worse during my second, so I really am dreading that pain with this one. To me, that and engorgement were the worst parts of recovery.

soulcupcake · October 2014

@katehgee

It was definitely a "WTF is going on moment!?" It took some time to process it because it just was so crazy and overwhelming. My entire body was shaking from the shock.

As my mom walked my midwife and her apprentice out when all was done for the night her apprentice said "what was THAT!?"

agsgrrl · October 2014

amw0914 said:
I feel like this thread went from ftm questions to STM++ telling birth stories hahahaha

I'm sure we will have more questions after the whole heaving a person from our loins phase passes. Although I'm still more concerned with the 18 years that comes after that..

Shortstack06 · October 2014

When a doctor tells you, "You are measuring ahead 5 days" does that mean you could potentially go into labor 5 days earlier, or you just may have a larger healthy child? How many STM's have measured ahead and delivered earlier?

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