Newbie/FTM questions?

nesenotes · September 2014

Manateearmz said:

gradschoolmom1234 said:
Okay I've got a dumb one. I know in the weeks leading up to labor/delivery, a lot of times doctors will start performing cervical checks. What the hell are cervical checks? I mean, I know what they are in theory - they want to see if your cervix has shortened and softened - but what do they entail? Is it similar to getting an internal exam like before pregnancy? Do they hurt?

They just stick their fingers up there to check for dilation or thinning. Typically start around 37ish weeks. I didn't find those to be painful.

Sweeping membranes however....holy shitballs. That hurts. They essentially take their fingers and "stretch" your cervix open. Giving your body a little jump start to labor. I got this done a little around 38 weeks. DD was born at 39.

The sweep hurt like a bitch. I'm glad I won't need that this go around!

sbevann26 · September 2014

BF moms, did your boobs go back to normal after? What about the shape/size of your aerola/nipples? I know nothing will be 100% but wishful thinking !

leoandethansmom · September 2014

Omg the sweep. That was horrible horrible pain. I went into labor that night though.

Manateearmz · September 2014

sbevann26 said:
BF moms, did your boobs go back to normal after? What about the shape/size of your aerola/nipples? I know nothing will be 100% but wishful thinking !

Eventually they regained some of their luster. Nipples even went back to normal.

In my case when I was done BF they were like two deflatated balloons stuck to my chest. A strong breeze could've made them flap like an American flag. But a few months after that they regained most if the firmness and not quite as saggy as post bf.

MaineMama · September 2014

JRod13 said:

I had PPD and suffered with that shit because I was too embarrassed to say anything to anyone or admit it to myself. You'll know if something isn't right- it will be debilitating. There's not anything you can do to prevent it. Just know the warning signs and know that you'll be a miserable shell of a person if you can't nut up and get the help you need.

PP OCD here! My advice is, if you feel like you are thinking thoughts that aren't "normal" or have thoughts that run in a constant loop (even if at the time they seem completely rational) or you have the slightest concern about how you are coping, Call your OB right away. Doesn't matter if its after office hours, just call. The longer you wait to get help, the more it sucks.

Also, put the number in your H's cell phone, and tell him. That way, if he has his own concerns but is uncomfortable saying something to you, he can call. My H is the one who called for me.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

sbevann26 said:
BF moms, did your boobs go back to normal after? What about the shape/size of your aerola/nipples? I know nothing will be 100% but wishful thinking !

Mine are nothing at all like they were before pregnancy. I think the wardrobe lady in Knocked Up said it best "your boobs are gonna get big, then they'll get scary big, then they're gonna go down, then they're gonna...stay down." Or something along those lines. However I was a DD pre pregnancy so I'm not sure if that's why they got so saggy.

VMac1984 · September 2014

smack427 said:
Sorry, I'm really late to this one, I have been super busy today and I'm finally sitting down... But this thread is a great idea. I definitely teared up @leosmom25‌ 's comment about meeting the baby for the first time. That's exactly how I imagine it to be. I can't wait to find out what this "new baby smell" is like, too!

My question is about PP depression. I know some people that have struggled with it for a long time after their child was born (a year or more). I have done some research but being a FTM I feel like I don't know enough about it. I know this is a personal question and if you don't want to respond I understand 100%. But if you don't mind-Did you have it? And what do you recommend to help prevent it?

VMac1984 · September 2014

@smack427‌

I had it. I don't think you can prevent it. If there is a way to prevent it, my doctor did not tell me about it. What he did do was give me a prescription for an antidepressant to have on hand just in case it reared it's ugly head. Even though I knew my risk was high, I thought I was just suffering from normal baby blues, sleep deprivation, and struggles with Breastfeeding and all the other challenges that come with being a FTM. It was my mom who noticed it was more than that and made me go to the doctor. Make sure you have people who are aware of your risk ( if you have one). It really, really sucks. Thanks for asking though, it's good to spread awareness about this difficult topic.

amieeyoung · September 2014

SLC1102 said:

So here's my question- did most of you have deliveries similar to your mothers? I'm like a little clone of my mother (in every way). She had 2 easy pregnancies- so far I'm having a very easy pregnancy. She, however, was in labor for 36 hours before she ended up having a c-section (was also 2 weeks late), so this kind of terrifies me. Part of me is like "let's skip the whole 36 hours of labor and go right to the c-section" but I know that's not really possible.

Nope mine was total opposite- my mom went quick with all of hers (she had two sets of twins and two single - so four labors in all ) - My 24 hr labor was almost as long as all of h ers put together and she pushed for about 15 minutes each and I pushed 2 hrs. to no avail. I had to be induced so I am hoping to go on my own this time and maybe it will be different? I mean one can wish right? lol

VMac1984 · September 2014

taylojade57 said:
For people who weren't induced last time... How long after your water broke/ you went into labor did you go to the hospital?

Mild cramping started at about 1pm and I headed to the hospital with intense and regular contractions at about 11 pm, so about 10 hours. They broke my water for me, but I can't remember when. I delivered her at 7:30am the next morning.

ninee88 · September 2014

Really appreciating this thread!

My questions are about epidurals. Initially I was completely on board with getting an epidural. After my labor and delivery class at the hospital this weekend, I'm a little less sure about it. I'm curious if moms who received epidurals felt like their labor slowed significantly at that point? The class made it seem like while epidurals were a great way to get a break/rest from a long and tiring labor, they tend to slow down labor, necessitating pitocin and other interventions.

Also, anyone go into labor on the fence about an epidural and get through labor without it? Or is unmediated birth something you really need to be committed to ahead of time?

And finally, did anyone who received and epidural feel really limited by only laboring in bed at that point? How much/easy was it to move around in bed and did you even care by then?

PacoCat33 · September 2014

For ladies asking about what to have on hand at home... pregnant chicken has a great list: https://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2012/3/3/exit-care.html

AllTheTeaInChina · September 2014

Ainslie325 said:

See, I didn't really find the sweep painful at all. I also don't think the two sweeps I had did a thing to expedite my labor.

I didn't think it was that painful either. Definitely not pleasant but bearable. I had it done on my due date, DD was born 2 days later.

QueenOfSpades622 · September 2014

PacoCat33 said:
For ladies asking about what to have on hand at home... pregnant chicken has a great list: https://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2012/3/3/exit-care.html

The link didn't work but will search out the blog. Thanks

amieeyoung · September 2014

ninee88 said:

Really appreciating this thread! My questions are about epidurals. Initially I was completely on board with getting an epidural. After my labor and delivery class at the hospital this weekend, I'm a little less sure about it. I'm curious if moms who received epidurals felt like their labor slowed significantly at that point? The class made it seem like while epidurals were a great way to get a break/rest from a long and tiring labor, they tend to slow down labor, necessitating pitocin and other interventions. Also, anyone go into labor on the fence about an epidural and get through labor without it? Or is unmediated birth something you really need to be committed to ahead of time? And finally, did anyone who received and epidural feel really limited by only laboring in bed at that point? How much/easy was it to move around in bed and did you even care by then?

I believe it depends on the situation. I had one last time and just didn't like it. I felt after that I had no control and I didn't feel like my pushing was that effective since I couldn't feel. Also, I shook so badly on it. Plus, my labor progression slowed wwwaayyyy down. I am going to try and not get one this time just so I can be in control and hope to go faster. To each their own though- also sometimes you might not have a choice if they think they will have to do a c-section or what not. To each their own. I would see how I felt in the middle of it all... good luck either way!

abcmom12 · September 2014

@katehgee, @ninee88, and other ladies, regarding the epidural placement, if you are fortunate (cursed) enough to experience (suffer) back labor (where your back muscles contract instead of your front) or the wonderful (hellish) combo of both front and back labor (like me!) getting an epidural is more complicated.

I had two epi docs (I can't spell anathe-whatever) discuss the extra risks of getting it, mainly because if I got a back contraction, which the machine struggles to read, it could break the needle, cause the doc to miss the nerve and poke something else or make it so he/she couldn't get in between contractions with enough time. I'd alternate in a non-pattern rythem between the 3 types of contractions so I opted out.

For me, labor wasn't something I couldn't bear down and breathe through, although yes, it was the worst pain I'd felt, but the admiration from all the nurses and DH that I was going natural and mentally pushing DD out was very uplifting. Plus at the end to push you go numb, the pain stops and I felt thirsty and tired at the end but no other side effects.

PacoCat33 · September 2014

QueenOfSpades622 said:

For ladies asking about what to have on hand at home... pregnant chicken has a great list: https://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2012/3/3/exit-care.html
The link didn't work but will search out the blog. Thanks

Sorry about that! Maybe it will work if I just link it here.

AllTheTeaInChina · September 2014

sbevann26 said:
BF moms, did your boobs go back to normal after? What about the shape/size of your aerola/nipples? I know nothing will be 100% but wishful thinking !

I BF for almost 2yrs and was pregnant already when DD weaned. I have no idea what my boobs will look like but my nipples are bigger and always erect. I always look like I'm cold, a nicely lined bra is a must.

runnerbikergirl · September 2014

I had a c-section so I think they sucked a lot if the blood out. My bleeding wasn't pretty light, but lasted 6 weeks! Once that was done, I started bleeding out my butt from a rectal tear from being constipated!! Don't forget to increase your fiber it take the stool softeners!!

leoandethansmom · September 2014

ninee88 said:

Really appreciating this thread! My questions are about epidurals. Initially I was completely on board with getting an epidural. After my labor and delivery class at the hospital this weekend, I'm a little less sure about it. I'm curious if moms who received epidurals felt like their labor slowed significantly at that point? The class made it seem like while epidurals were a great way to get a break/rest from a long and tiring labor, they tend to slow down labor, necessitating pitocin and other interventions. Also, anyone go into labor on the fence about an epidural and get through labor without it? Or is unmediated birth something you really need to be committed to ahead of time? And finally, did anyone who received and epidural feel really limited by only laboring in bed at that point? How much/easy was it to move around in bed and did you even care by then?

I always knew I wanted the epidural so there was no decision for me. I did not feel that it slowed my labor but I was already on pitocin anyways. After I received the epidural all I wanted to do was sleep or watch TV so I didn't feel limited to the bed, I didn't want to move anyways. Plus, before I received the epidural I didn't want to move anyway because the contractions hurt so much. It wasn't easy to move after the epidural but I didn't give a damn. They had to move my legs for me when they needed them moved but again, I didn't care at all. I wanted all of the drugs and I will again this time!

PacoCat33 · September 2014

On the epidural... can you pee when on it? How does that work? I know with a c-section, you typically have a catheter.

Manateearmz · September 2014

PacoCat33 said:
On the epidural... can you pee when on it? How does that work? I know with a c-section, you typically have a catheter.

Catheter.

Manateearmz · September 2014

I'm going to ask a question to the other STM's since we seem to be focusing on labor itself.

Did you have a birth plan? If so, did you follow it?

I had a very loose plan and didn't stick to it.

I've heard pros and cons. Some mothers talk about going in with pages and pages of a birth plan and end up disappointed when a c-section is needed or additional medications like pitocen is required.

Thoughts?

mlee116 · September 2014

sbevann26 said:

BF moms, did your boobs go back to normal after? What about the shape/size of your aerola/nipples? I know nothing will be 100% but wishful thinking !

My boobs did go back to normal. Well, they're a little bigger than they were before, but that's not a bad thing! They were kind of deflated for awhile then they regained some of their elasticity. But I've only BF one baby so far, so we'll see.

That membrane sweep hurt like a mofo. The cervix checks hurt for me too, but not as bad as the sweep.

PacoCat33 · September 2014

Manateearmz said:

On the epidural... can you pee when on it? How does that work? I know with a c-section, you typically have a catheter.
Catheter.

I'm surprised you don't push the catheter out...

Catheters give me the willies... but, at least you don't feel it when they put it in and take it out. At least, please tell me you don't.

abcmom12 · September 2014

chelseavranich said:

@katehgee, @ninee88, and other ladies, regarding the epidural placement, if you are fortunate (cursed) enough to experience (suffer) back labor (where your back muscles contract instead of your front) or the wonderful (hellish) combo of both front and back labor (like me!) getting an epidural is more complicated.
I had two epi docs (I can't spell anathe-whatever) discuss the extra risks of getting it, mainly because if I got a back contraction, which the machine struggles to read, it could break the needle, cause the doc to miss the nerve and poke something else or make it so he/she couldn't get in between contractions with enough time. I'd alternate in a non-pattern rythem between the 3 types of contractions so I opted out.
For me, labor wasn't something I couldn't bear down and breathe through, although yes, it was the worst pain I'd felt, but the admiration from all the nurses and DH that I was going natural and mentally pushing DD out was very uplifting. Plus at the end to push you go numb, the pain stops and I felt thirsty and tired at the end but no other side effects.
To tack on to this, back labor is hell on earth. I had an awesome nurse come check on me while my horrid nurse was on break that got a bunch of pillows, positioned me on my side and finally got my son to turn over. After that, it wasn't complicated at all. If you are in that situation, ask your nurse if they know how to do it.

to clarify, usually women get back labor if the baby is facing the wrong way and it will stop once they turn. sadly, I was that lucky percentage where DD was facing the right way it was genetic in my case. if you have back labor though, NEVER let them get you on all fours. it puts all the stress of your belly on your back then when the contraction comes you're paralyzed. I literally stopped breathing and when the nurses told me to, I could only scream "I can't!" before it got bad.

being on your side was the only position I found comfortable and it let me rest. trying not to be scary but so often they'll just assume its the baby the wrong way when that's not always the case.

erien · September 2014

@PacoCat33‌ I felt it. It was only then that the nurse believed me when I said the epidural did not work. But if your epidural works, you won't feel it.

jennielee123 · September 2014

ninee88 said:

Really appreciating this thread! My questions are about epidurals. Initially I was completely on board with getting an epidural. After my labor and delivery class at the hospital this weekend, I'm a little less sure about it. I'm curious if moms who received epidurals felt like their labor slowed significantly at that point? The class made it seem like while epidurals were a great way to get a break/rest from a long and tiring labor, they tend to slow down labor, necessitating pitocin and other interventions. Also, anyone go into labor on the fence about an epidural and get through labor without it? Or is unmediated birth something you really need to be committed to ahead of time? And finally, did anyone who received and epidural feel really limited by only laboring in bed at that point? How much/easy was it to move around in bed and did you even care by then?

I know exactly how you feel. I went to Lamaze classes before I had DD, and they scared the crap out of me about having and epi. I went into the hospital completely dead set against having one. I was induced so I can't speak to an epidural leading to needing Pitocin, since I was already getting it. I do know that I labored for 12 hours drug free, before finally asking for the epidural. Those hours are kind of a fog of pain that I don't remember clearly. The epidural was amazing. I gave birth between 2 and 3 hours after having it, So if anything I feel like it sped labor up.

ninee88 · September 2014

Thanks for all the info ladies.

@abcmom12‌ Interesting...the class I just took suggested all fours to try and turn baby if experiencing back labor. Good to know that that may not be most desirable.

@gradschoolmom1234‌ You are always clutch with the research. Thanks! I have heard about that book a few times. Sounds like I'll need to pick up a copy finally!

@leosmom25‌ I was pretty sure I wanted the epi. It was never much of a question for me. I only recently started to question it. I think my plan will be to go as long as possible without it but be on board if/when it gets to be too painful.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

Manateearmz said:

I'm going to ask a question to the other STM's since we seem to be focusing on labor itself. Did you have a birth plan? If so, did you follow it? I had a very loose plan and didn't stick to it. I've heard pros and cons. Some mothers talk about going in with pages and pages of a birth plan and end up disappointed when a c-section is needed or additional medications like pitocen is required. Thoughts?

If wanting an epidural is a birth plan then yes, I had one. All I knew was I wanted the drugs. I labored for 12 hours at home before going to the hospital so at that point I was ready for the needle in my back! In my opinion, labor is SO unpredictable I believe it would be hard to have a plan and stick to it, however, I'm not a planner in life anyways.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

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leoandethansmom · September 2014

@MissChristineMarie hey I gave you the positive story yesterday about delivery! I know there's some moms on here that have had great labor stories, just don't ask mine lol.

nesenotes · September 2014

Manateearmz said:
I'm going to ask a question to the other STM's since we seem to be focusing on labor itself.

Did you have a birth plan? If so, did you follow it?

I had a very loose plan and didn't stick to it.

I've heard pros and cons. Some mothers talk about going in with pages and pages of a birth plan and end up disappointed when a c-section is needed or additional medications like pitocen is required.

Thoughts?

My plan was get the kid out alive and I didn't care how it happened. I did get an Epi at 2 because I was given Pitocin and the nurses were all team you don't have to feel pain if you don't want to its not necessary to suffer. So I said ok let's do it. I failed to progress past 6 24 hours later so I ended up with a c-sec. Was it because of the Epi? I'll never know. But i didnt really care I just wanted her out and alive and in my arms with the least damage to us both. I had had that surgery already with my ectopic the year prior so I personally was already familiar with what would happen had I needed a c-sec. I was up and about the next day and discharged day 2.

AllTheTeaInChina · September 2014

ninee88 said:
Thanks for all the info ladies.

@abcmom12‌ Interesting...the class I just took suggested all fours to try and turn baby if experiencing back labor.

I also learned that you should "hang" your belly to get the pressure off your back.

mlee116 · September 2014

Manateearmz said:

I'm going to ask a question to the other STM's since we seem to be focusing on labor itself. Did you have a birth plan? If so, did you follow it? I had a very loose plan and didn't stick to it. I've heard pros and cons. Some mothers talk about going in with pages and pages of a birth plan and end up disappointed when a c-section is needed or additional medications like pitocen is required. Thoughts?

I didn't really have a plan, which was probably a good thing since I had to be induced (HBP) and then ultimately had a c-section. As a result, I never felt disappointed or anything like that because I had no expectations.

I did do a lot of research though so I knew what certain terms meant and what to expect and I think that's really important. I never felt like the doctors or nurses were doing anything I didn't understand or agree to and that calmed a lot of my anxiety.

turkeyleg5 · September 2014

Eek, back labor! I had forgotten about that (never had it, but saw my sister with it and it sucked). So, I consulted Dr. Google and found this APA page about it:

https://americanpregnancy.org/labor-and-birth/back-labor/

Don't know how true it is, but they seem to say that there are things you can do before labor (in addition to during) to get baby is the right position and reduce the chances that you'll have it. Time to do some more pelvic tilts and break out the exercise ball!

mlee116 · September 2014

I will say that, in my experience at least, a lot of these scary things that people are talking about like catheters, bleeding, giant hard shits, the epidural, cervix checks/sweeps, c-sections, etc. weren't really as bad in the moment as I built them up to be beforehand. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't fun and some of it really freaking sucked and was painful, but when you're in that moment, you kind of just do what you have to do to get past it because you have no other choice. You are focused on seeing that baby and getting to the end that your body and mind do amazing things to help you get through it. That might just be my experience and I don't even know if all of that makes sense, but I just thought I'd share.

This is coming from a person who was absolutely terrified of giving birth and even more scared of having a c-section. I had panic attacks regularly from the time I found out I was pregnant until the morning I had him. But I got through it and even signed up to do it again.

abcmom12 · September 2014

lol does leaning over now take any pressure off your back?! it doesn't for me at least, but then it might get the baby to move. since DD was in the right position, perhaps it hurt more since she couldn't turn

the birthing ball helped the most with back labor but after so many hours of it, your legs start to ache and they moved me to the bed, hense lying on my side!

AllTheTeaInChina · September 2014

Regarding birth plans. I never had one. There were things I wanted and was prepared to fight for but didn't actually write it down.

My plan/goal was drug-free without iv fluids. Immediate skin to skin and delayed cord clamping.

soulcupcake · September 2014

@gradschoolmom1234

When caregivers perform a VE it's often to assess whether you'll be a good candidate for induction or augmentation. They are checking the dilation and effacement of the inner os, the baby's station in relation to the ischial spine, as well as the cervix's position. Their measurement can be used to determine a Bishop's score, which is used to judge the likelihood of a successful induction.

Measurements can vary depending on the provider doing the exam. Sometimes smaller fingers will yield a larger dilation than bigger fingers.

Some providers do them routinely starting at weekly appts, and others only do them by request. They aren't really necessary, but can be beneficial for those who know they will be induced to give them an idea their chances of a successful induction.

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