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January 2015 Moms
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Poll: Push Presents

13

Re: Poll: Push Presents

  • MarxieVonTrappMarxieVonTrapp member
    I told DH after the birth of our daughter that I preferred one bigger gift when we were done having kids.  I'd like three, this is 2, so I'll wait.  I have no issue with them, and think it's a nice idea.

    mm 2/17/11 * dd born 4/20/12 * bo 1/3/14 * edd 1/21/ 1/15 

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  • TXUltraRunnerTXUltraRunner member
    I asked DH if I was getting a push present and after explaining to him what it was he laughed at me and told me the $10,000 we spent on IVF means the baby is a push present. All I really wanted to request is a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle waiting for me when I get home from the hospital. LOL 


    ****************************************************
    TTC since August 2011 Me: 31 DH: 33
    May-September 2012: Monitored cycles with Letrozole
    October 2012: Cancelled IUI
    April 2014: IVF #1 w/ ICSI
    ER: 4/15 ET: 4/20 Beta #1 4/29: 54 Beta#2 5/1: 90 
    1st ultrasound: 5/13 (6w1d): HB 103 2nd Ultrasound: 5/22 (7w3d) HB 151
    *********************************************************

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  • EmilyA724EmilyA724 member
    edited September 2014
    @ACH831‌ My BIL used to be the head brewer at Victory. He left two years ago to work at a different brewery and I am definitely missing all that free Victory
    Me 31  <3  DH 34
    TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15
    NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
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  • amiej1227amiej1227 member
    I talked to my husband about this so we'll see what or if I get anything. I know he has a surprise for me that I have no idea about but I don't think it's a "push present". I told him something with the birthstone might be nice
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  • bigbobdolebigbobdole member
    edited September 2014
    I just realized I'm entitled to all the presents this year! I get Hanukkah, Christmas, push present, valentine's day, AND first wedding anniversary(2/22)

    Hubs betta start workin some OT... Momma wants all the stuff!


    ETA:

    /sarcasm
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  • SheHulk723SheHulk723 member
    @luckylady18 It is a Scottish craft beer aged in oak barrels and it is the most delicious thing ever haha.  They have a few different finishes, one is aged in rum barrels, one in whiskey barrels and they have a few seasonals as well.  It's been getting more and more popular in my area at least so it's a little easier to find now and it is sooooo freaking good.
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  • larahousemanlarahouseman member
    I am getting a push present.  It is a beautiful rose gold ring.  I picked it out and then H and I went to the store together to try it on and make sure we liked it.

    BUT, since it's expensive, I told him not to get me anything for our anniversary or my birthday.  
    -Lily
    EDD: 1/27/15
    So excited for our rainbow baby!
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  • Trek3Trek3 member
    YaMrWhite said:
    I fucking hate the term "push present." I fucking fucking fucking hate it. Loathe.
    Ugh me too! I am not at all against someone giving or getting a gift after birth, but I hate the term and the huge expectations. It just makes me think of the trophy wives in reality shows expecting a giant diamond to show off.

    My DH and I are not big gift givers... my "gift" is that he stays in the hospital chair for the whole time we are there, and holds the baby in between feeds and the 5 seconds that they stay asleep in the bassinet so that I can get some rest & recovery. This (and the baby of course) is better than any present IMO.
    DD#1 (6), DD#2 (4), DD#3 (0)
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  • LadyXaverianLadyXaverian member
    BookitBoo said:
    I didn't get a push present with DS (DH has never heard of it). I doubt I will get one with this LO (she's due right beside my birthday). For Mother's Day or my birthday I would like jewelry with both birthstones on it, but DH is kinda dense. I see no problem with push presents and would be very happy if he brought me fudge to the hospital. Or a book. Not that I'll get to relax and read the book, but I'm pretty easy to buy gifts for and a book is always a win IMO

    This. It's 8 months away, but I've already told my husband what I'd like. I really wanted a new ring to go with my wedding set for our 10th wedding anniversary last year, but since we'd decided at that point we wanted another child, I put it off and said I'd like to get a band with both kids' birth stones in it once #2 was here. So for Mother's Day next year, I will hopefully be getting a band similar to my wedding band that has alternating garnets and diamonds (January and April).
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    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


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  • britb618britb618 member
    ok not sure if I made this clear, it think it was sweet my husband got me a mothers day ring, it wasn't a push present (I too hate the term for a few reasons, one of them being I didn't get to push because I had an emergency c and that is always a little touchy subject for me) it reminds me of that special time. of course my daughter is enough of a gift and reminds me of that time too but it more reminds me of my husband and I. anywho, to each their own. I don't need one nor do I expect one but I thought it was sweet me husband thought of me on the mothers day while I was pregnant and got me something special. I'm not a complete bitch during pregnancy at all to be honest and in general pull the most weight around the house with my daughter because my husband works a lot so I show my appreciation by buying him little things through out the year (whether it be groceries that he loves on a weekly basis or new shirts etc.) He doesn't shop so for him to do something special I think is wonderful and appreciated. I haven't really heard anyone on here say that they are giving birth solely for the presents so not sure what the issue is with a gift from a husband if he wants to do it. 
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  • britb618britb618 member
    edited September 2014
    edited: posted twice so deleting second post :)
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  • ChelCChargersChelCChargers member
    My husband and I have been planning on getting tattoos for our daughter after she's born, something simple. That's enough of a push present for me. I don't wear jewelry other than my wedding ring, and I'm not big on anything else material. Tattoos are one of the things I collect. :)
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  • sparksfly22sparksfly22 member
    I had never heard of the term until this thread. And I'm not fond of it either. It's like giving a present for having sex? Awkward. Like the balloon in 'friends with benefits' lol

    My hubby just thought it would be a nice mommy gift to celebrate the baby's birth after the 9 months of carrying the baby.
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  • liladelphia215liladelphia215 member
    ghostof5letters said:
    BabyStandish said:
    @ACH831 just looked up that beer. It looks divine! 
    All Victory beer is amazing. Must drink all of it at all times. Mmmmmmmmm 
    We live about 45 minutes from their brewery. We go once or twice a year. I'm not a beer drinker but DH loves it! Plus they have good food!
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  • Kyleedawn08Kyleedawn08 member
    Honestly I have never understood the idea.. I don't need a gift for bringing my child into the world. The day of my child's birth is really about my new baby, not me. The joy of having the new baby is present enough!
    I had a really hard miserable pregnancy and delivery last time around, followed by a really tough couple months with a baby who would not thrive with my first, I still don't think I needed a present for that situation..
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  • ghostof5lettersghostof5letters member
    NatureLovers said:



    . P.S. @ghostof5letters‌ I hate you.
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    User Banned You have been banned from posting on the forums until 01-11-2165 8:18 AM. The reason for this ban is Inappropriate Links or Signature. Please return to participate in the forums after the ban has elapsed.
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  • SandraRDHSandraRDH member
    britb618 said:
    Yes @ladyamanuet‌ although I looked at it more as a gift for entering motherhood, carrying the baby for 9 Months and celebrating the exciting occasion - I smile every time I look at My ring because it reminds me of that special time
    This. You deserve something special to mark the occasion!! I don't know what's with all the talk about "I want one but I know my husband won't get me one b/c he doesn't think like that"... LADIES!!! TELL HIM you want one! It's that simple in my house. Communication is key ;)


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  • marvan5marvan5 member
    I just explained to my husband about this thread and he said: "You know what you get?" And we both said at the same time, "A BABY!" Good enough for meeee :):):) But I would never deny such a gift, either :D
    January J'15 Siggy Challenge: Baby FAILS
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  • BookitBooBookitBoo member
    The point of a gift (IMO) is that the person thought it would be a kind and loving gesture. That's why, while I would love a gift, I would never be so presumptuous as to let my husband know I want him to get introspective and thoughtful, and basically demand that he has to research and think of a gift. It seems rude to me. /shrug

    I agree, communication is key but this isn't deciding what kind of ice cream to buy.
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  • YaMrWhiteYaMrWhite member
    emmyg65 said:
    YaMrWhite said:
    [smn

    That kind of sense of entitlement just...no...The birth of your child is not a qualifying gift-giving event. Really, nothing is a gift-giving event and if it is a gift, you shouldn't have to TELL someone what it is you want. Let them be thoughtful on their own. If not? Buy yourself something and be happy. But please just don't call it a push present.

    Edit: grammar
    To be fair, it doesn't always work to hope someone is thoughtful on their own. I learned long ago to let my husband know what I want if something is important to me. That's not being entitled; that's communicating my desires. Otherwise, he'd have no idea, I'd feel hurt, he'd feel hurt, and it would just be no good. Different people have different values (for example, commemorating major milestones with gifts is one of mine) and different relationship dynamics.
    But you did not use the word deserve. Desiring something and feeling like you deserve something are two different things.
    Stephanie Ella ~ 6/15/2012
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  • MaebbMaebb member
    liladelphia215 said:


    ghostof5letters said:


    BabyStandish said:

    @ACH831 just looked up that beer. It looks divine! 

    All Victory beer is amazing. Must drink all of it at all times. Mmmmmmmmm 

    We live about 45 minutes from their brewery. We go once or twice a year. I'm not a beer drinker but DH loves it! Plus they have good food!

    _________

    I am late on this thread, but Victory Golden Monkey is one of my favorite beers ever, and they just came out with a new one (maybe a tripel?) that is really good too. I would love if we lived near the brewery!
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  • SandraRDHSandraRDH member
    DH and I will pick something out together, that's just the way we work. Everything is done this way for us. I went with him to pick my own wedding band, he helped me pick my wedding dress, etc. We'll do the same for this and likely make a romantic day/date of it. I get that gifts are thoughtful gestures the person does on their own point but I guess we enjoy the process together more and it's always nice to know the other person is getting what they really wanted. So many times we end up donating true "gifts" from others because they just sit around the house for years (like from Christmas or Birthdays) because they weren't practical or 'weren't our style'. Sounds bad but I'm sure we all do it, I'm just putting it in words.. DH and I have just figured when it comes to the two of us going together and making that an adventure of its own is just as much fun and turns out a bit more practical.

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  • misslizzy82misslizzy82 member
    HappyMonkey817 said:
    Maebb said:
    ghostof5letters said:
    BabyStandish said:
    @ACH831 just looked up that beer. It looks divine! 
    All Victory beer is amazing. Must drink all of it at all times. Mmmmmmmmm 
    We live about 45 minutes from their brewery. We go once or twice a year. I'm not a beer drinker but DH loves it! Plus they have good food!
    _________ I am late on this thread, but Victory Golden Monkey is one of my favorite beers ever, and they just came out with a new one (maybe a tripel?) that is really good too. I would love if we lived near the brewery!
    I am late to this, too. I am a huge fan of beer- the darker and weirder, the better. 

    We live not too far from the Weyerbacher brewery, and going there was one of our most favorite day trips so far. You walk in the door and just a few feet in, there is a huge, glorious bar. The lady at the door checked our IDs and gave us bracelets, and then we were able to taste anything we wanted, for free, as many times as we wanted. They even had different versions of each beer (same ingredients, different production process), and let us taste them side-by-side so we could learn about the differences. Then, right before the tour, the bartenders made sure that everyone had their "tour beer", which is a full-sized glass of the beer of their choice. The tour leader wore a viking helmet. They also have "Brewmaster's Specials" that are available ONLY at the brewery.

    The tasting/tour are totally free, but anyone who can taste their beer and not buy any, is better than we are. We spent about $150 :-)

    ETA- I forgot to mention that we also brew our own. We brewed special wedding beers for our big day ("I Do Brew")- vanilla porter and ginger Belgian. They were a big hit. I made special labels for them that matched the invitations I made. I'll add a photo if I can find one.

    Seriously... can we be friends IRL?

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  • liladelphia215liladelphia215 member
    emmyg65 said:
    @HMonkey817, we must live near each other! Weyerbacher is awesome, as is Troegs. We live in such a wonderful area for beer.
    We go to Troegs once a year when we go to Hershey Park! That's another one we enjoy going to. But that one is more in the area of 2 hours away lol
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    A sense of entitlement is often pretty effective if you play your cards right
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  • rachel+familyrachel+family member
    I don't get how you can't feel somewhat entitled to at least flowers and a love note and take out of your choice for a week or so. a man's reactionto childbirth should be wonder and Awe! So much that he considers doing something special/thoughtful for you.
    When you cross a finish line at a race you get a medal and usually food. Why is it wrong to expect something sweet from your SO after you birth a child?

    (A car is expecting a lot IMO but if you can afford one, go for it).
    But expecting flowers and food- not wrong at all.
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    We live in patriarchy. If your partner is a dude, you are entitled to be entitled. Up that entitlement level if you are puttering around in selfless altruism ;)
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  • BeauxbatonBeauxbaton member
    Meh, I feel like I deserve something for carrying a small human in my body for 9 months, then pushing it out, then raising it. For me it takes a huge toll on my body and my mind. I'm barely halfway through this pregnancy and I can barely walk because of how bad my SPD is. Not to mention my thyroid levels being all kinds of fucked up. Then there is the fact that during pregnancy (and immediately following) I have extreme depression. Like, to the point of not wanting to live anymore. I can deal with it because I know the pain of actually losing a friend to suicide so I'd never act on those thoughts and so that to my family. But still, it sucks spending hours at a time crying.
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  • Roxycc55Roxycc55 member
    CuppyCakes721 said:

    Meh, I feel like I deserve something for carrying a small human in my body for 9 months, then pushing it out, then raising it. For me it takes a huge toll on my body and my mind. I'm barely halfway through this pregnancy and I can barely walk because of how bad my SPD is. Not to mention my thyroid levels being all kinds of fucked up. Then there is the fact that during pregnancy (and immediately following) I have extreme depression. Like, to the point of not wanting to live anymore. I can deal with it because I know the pain of actually losing a friend to suicide so I'd never act on those thoughts and so that to my family. But still, it sucks spending hours at a time crying.

    I'm with you. (((Hugs)))


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    "As long as I live you will live. As long as I live you will be loved."

    BFP#1 3/31/12 EDD 12/1/12,No HB 6/6/12 (14 weeks 4 days), D&C 6/11/12 (15 weeks 2 days)*Arabella Ann*

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     

    BFP#2 5/21/14 EDD 1/27/15 *GROW BABY GROW*

     
     


     

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  • 12chachacha12chachacha member
    A while ago (before we started trying) I mentioned to my husband that this was something my dad did for my mom when we were born, and that I thought it was a nice gesture. I hate the term "push present". Pretty sure they didn't call it that in the 80s when I was born. For me it's a nice gesture that acknowledges what you went through and the physical sacrifices you made to have the baby. Mine is going to end up being something practical, but given that our money is joint, I'll be paying for half of it anyway so it's more symbolic.
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  • BeauxbatonBeauxbaton member
    HappyMonkey817 said:

    (((hugs))) @CuppyCake721 (that is, if you don't mind getting hugs from me, after seeing my gross post this morning, lol)

    I'll always take a hug. But like I said, I hold on a little long. ;)
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