Poll: Push Presents

LaBellaVida

I'll eventually get a new rack and tummy tuck. It'll be a few years, but I'm

amt1983 said:

I thought mode of delivery did matter? My husband is getting me one but only if I actually push, and no epidural.

@-) uh, no.

I'd junk punch my husband if he said some shit like that to me.

Jerk.

aerotigergirl

I didn't get a gift with Ds so I doubt I will get one this time either. I wasn't hurt by it before but I can understand how it would be nice to have a sentimental gift like that on your child's birth day. Sort of like how brides and grooms give each other gifts before the wedding?

H did get me a necklace I had mentioned several times, but it was for my first mother's day gift. It's a very simple silver necklace with a token tag with Ds name on one side and birth date on the other. He also got a separate tag with our initials and our wedding date on the other side. It's not expensive or flashy but it fits my style. I wear it every day.

longcat07

amt1983 said:

I thought mode of delivery did matter? My husband is getting me one but only if I actually push, and no epidural.

wait...for real?  so having an epidural (or major abdominal surgery) completely negates 9 months of pregnancy and (possible) labor and all that happy horseshit? 

your H deserves a kick in the junk.

Stargirlb

amt1983 said:

I thought mode of delivery did matter? My husband is getting me one but only if I actually push, and no epidural.

omgggggggg 

NatureLovers

amt1983 said:

I thought mode of delivery did matter? My husband is getting me one but only if I actually push, and no epidural.

This reminds me of a friend of mine when she had her 3rd. Her two previous births were between 38-39 weeks (spontaneous labor, she went epidural free both times despite getting pitocin). The 3rd one was hanging out, so the morning of 39wks 6 days she and her H were going to get her a gooey rich piece of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate hitting 40 weeks. That afternoon she went in labor and delivered just before midnight, again pain med free despite pitocin. Her H flatly refused to get her the cheesecake, because she didn't technically reach 40 weeks. He was dead serious, despite her requests for the cheesecake, because according to him she didn't "deserve" the cheesecake since she didn't get to 40 weeks. One of her friends finally went and got it for her. I wanted to punch him right in the face for his cold hearted nastiness. What a jerk.

Milagros315

amt1983 said:

I thought mode of delivery did matter? My husband is getting me one but only if I actually push, and no epidural.

Umm you still have to push with an epidural. The baby doesn't usually fly or crawl out on its own. And also WTF. Eta: Ah I think I misunderstood you. The WTF still stands.

Roxycc55

amt1983 said:

I thought mode of delivery did matter? My husband is getting me one but only if I actually push, and no epidural.

Lolwut

Stargirlb

my what a glorious patriarch he must be

Tauristar

Well, my love language is gifts! I'm all for the push present. It's not about how much you spend, it's about being thoughtful and appreciative of the journey a mom takes and showing that with a present. This is just how we are in our relationship. I grew up with parents that were this way to each other and us kids. For us, It's everything from me grabbing gummy bears for DH when he has a bad day, or buying him cologne when I travel. He reciprocates, sometimes it's flowers when he stops for eggs sometimes it's a purse or jewelry. As for those requesting cars...if you don't ask there's no chance you'll get it! Clearly I'm all about prezzies!

southernyankeegirl

Eh, not my thing. I'd love something sentimental, like LO's birthstone in a piece of jewelry, but I am not a gift focused person. We don't even do gifts for anniversaries - we plan special activities together.

I think this comes down to Love Languages. If you are someone who feels most loved and appreciated by gifts, then it would be good for your SO to realize that and get you a gift.

For me, my primary Love Language is acts of service - having DH be helpful and present and do things thoughtfully is what will be most appreciated (like clean the house thoroughly before I get home, wash and put away my laundry, clean my car, and have groceries in the fridge when I get home, bring me my favorite snacks in the hospital, offer to rub my feet or run errands, and just generally anticipate my needs and be thoughtful). My second is physical affection, like cuddling and kissing and just general affectionate touch. If he doesn't do that kind of stuff, it would be far more disappointing than not receiving a gift. Thankfully, he's really darned good at it all!

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kc192

If I get a "push present" DH deserves a "I had to put up with her hormones and moodiness while doing my extra share of things around the house and constantly take the toddler out to do things so she can rest" present. Not to mention a "I was incredibly supportive throughout the birth and always had the foresight to meet needs before she even knew they were needs, and will again do my extra share around the house and with the toddler while helping with the newborn" present. I'm
not saying pregnancy and pushing a human out isn't a big deal but DH isn't exactly sitting around twiddling his thumbs. If I deserve an award he deserves two.

Roxycc55

@aditigirl‌ I think your barf was one post too early. ^^^^

kc192

@Roxycc55‌ are you implying my post was barf worthy?

Let me rephrase.

I've been a hormonal bitch lately and my DH has been a saint to put up with me. I owe him a new car for my moodiness.

NatureLovers

kc192 said:

If I get a "push present" DH deserves a "I had to put up with her hormones and moodiness while doing my extra share of things around the house and constantly take the toddler out to do things so she can rest" present. Not to mention a "I was incredibly supportive throughout the birth and always had the foresight to meet needs before she even knew they were needs, and will again do my extra share around the house and with the toddler while helping with the newborn" present. I'm
not saying pregnancy and pushing a human out isn't a big deal but DH isn't exactly sitting around twiddling his thumbs. If I deserve an award he deserves two.

I understand what you're saying, and I agree. My H has been my rock through my very difficult pregnancy, and it hasn't been easy on him either. I plan on getting him a gift "to Daddy from the baby". Now to figure out what that should be....

Stargirlb

we talked about matching tattoos, something meaningful, perhaps baby related but not cheesy.

tarynlphillips

Not expecting anything but I'm not against it. My DH is pretty thoughtful...hahaha, and he has been advised to follow @ICarriedAWatermelon‌'s menu at the hospital since day one. Sushi. Raw tuna, salmon, yellowtail. Ha!

But the baby carriage pandora charm would be nice or there is a jeweler that does birthstones and a little metal disk with baby's fingerprint on it as necklaces...something like that would be awesome. Ooooorrrr @Stargirlb‌ and @MusicFanatic‌ idea of a new car would never hurt

elleswarth

H got me a small diamond necklace the first time around, unbeknownst to me. I was young, none of my friends had kids, so I hadn't heard of a push present before. Apparently the old ladies at the hair salon he goes to made it sound like quite the thing and he scrambled to pick something out. He ordered it online, and when he gave it to me, we both realized it wasn't "me" and was unnecessary. We took it back and got his wedding ring since that was what we needed at the time. If I wear any jewelry, it's usually rings, so I may leave a hint laying around that incorporates the 4 of us as a whole family since we're done having more. I also mentioned how cute I thought the Shinola watches were, so we'll see what he comes up with. While I'm not "expecting" anything, I think he already has it engrained in his brain from the first time around.

liladelphia215

Didn't get one with DD... Don't expect one this time. It's unnecessary to me. 

The greatest push present is a DH who gets up with the baby as much as I have to (if I pump like last time); changes diapers as much as I do; and does as much general work to raise the kids as I do. DH did that last time, and as long as he does that again - push present not needed  

Plus with Christmas the prior month, and DD's birthday two weeks after my due date and my birthday the month after that.. not necessary

ETA: I guess a case of Twisted Tea Light would be nice to have in the fridge when I get home, too.

YaMrWhite

I fucking hate the term "push present." I fucking fucking fucking hate it. Loathe.

Milagros315

CrazyMonkeyBear said:

The only thing I'm getting is a nice, cold porter that I can down before I begin my lovenox injections. Other than that, IDGAF about presents. I have one that I plan on packing in his hospital bag to pour out for me when everyone is gone. Oh, and a coffee at some point; I miss having plain coffee!

When I opened this thread, I didn't read it as talking about gifts; I thought it more of "I present to you..."

Oh yeah that reminds me - I have requested a massive cold turkey hoagie and a six pack of beer. I guess I DO expect a push present.

YaMrWhite

britb618 said:

Yes @ladyamanuet‌ although I looked at it more as a gift for entering motherhood, carrying the baby for 9
Months and celebrating the exciting occasion - I smile every time I look at
My ring because it reminds me of that special time

My baby makes me smile and reminds me of that special time.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

sparksfly22

Hubby says he will be getting me a present and I will get him something small as well. To each his own! I don't think presents are 'gross'. And yes, maybe he didn't carry the baby for 9 months but you also wouldn't have the child without his sperm. So he contributed and supported you (hopefully) along the way and that is a big deal to me when hormones are rampant and your body is doing a million things that are beyond your control.

YaMrWhite

sparksfly22 said:

Hubby says he will be getting me a present and I will get him something small as well. To each his own! I don't think presents are 'gross'. And yes, maybe he didn't carry the baby for 9 months but you also wouldn't have the child without his sperm. So he contributed and supported you (hopefully) along the way and that is a big deal to me when hormones are rampant and your body is doing a million things that are beyond your control.

Presents are not "gross" but I have seen women talk about labor and delivery and the desire for a "push present" like its a damn holiday and that is obnoxious. 

BookitBoo

I didn't get a push present with DS (DH has never heard of it). I doubt I will get one with this LO (she's due right beside my birthday).

For Mother's Day or my birthday I would like jewelry with both birthstones on it, but DH is kinda dense.

I see no problem with push presents and would be very happy if he brought me fudge to the hospital. Or a book. Not that I'll get to relax and read the book, but I'm pretty easy to buy gifts for and a book is always a win IMO

sparksfly22

@YaMrWhite‌ another previous poster had mentioned that she thought they were gross.

But yeah, I agree with you. It's a nice and normal gesture but if you are looking forward to it like it's Christmas again rather than focusing on the joy of the new baby, that's kinda weird.

ghostof5letters

bookworm92 said:

amt1983 said:

I thought mode of delivery did matter? My husband is getting me one but only if I actually push, and no epidural.

Umm you still have to push with an epidural. The baby doesn't usually fly or crawl out on its own. And also WTF. Eta: Ah I think I misunderstood you. The WTF still stands.

Nightmares of the baby just crawling out are sure to be had. Thanks. Haha

misslizzy82

When I first found out I was pregnant I joked that I wanted one of these:

https://www.ems.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11259651&cp=3677347.11360113

as a push present.  It's a climbing device that would make my life a lot easier.  Now that I think about it, it would actually help if we had baby with us, I'd be able to multi-task a little.  That being said, we don't really get eachother gifts.  Our last two Christmases we both chipped in for expensive vacuumes.  Yes... we got eachother vacuumes two years in a row. 

bigbobdole

I'll request the same present I've been asking for since I was 3...


A pony.

[Deleted User]

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luckylady18

I am just catching up on this now. Fun thread.

I would like a push present and I've mentioned it to DH before but it was more in theory, way before we were ready to have kids. I'm not going to ask for one or otherwise bring it up. NMS. I would love a nice piece of jewelry but DH and I tend to be way too practical and never really are big on gifts b/c of that. We celebrate birthdays and anniversaries but dont do big gifts b/c we are always trying to save for something or are just in general conservative about spending our money.

That being said, I would absolutely be ok with him buying me a little something when the baby comes.

I do also like the idea of buying him something small - a token, from the baby. I've been pretty difficult to deal with lately, and I just think it would be cute to buy something from baby saying "thanks for taking care of me and mommy!" or something like that. Who knows if I'll actually get off my butt to do that though!

ghostof5letters

Britt1406 said:

@ghostof5letters thanks for that nightmare :shudders: 

ghostof5letters

BabyStandish said:

@ACH831 just looked up that beer. It looks divine! 

All Victory beer is amazing. Must drink all of it at all times. Mmmmmmmmm 

banana2020

No push present the first time and I don't care about one this time. It's not a gift-giving "event" IMO.I had never even heard of it until the interwebz.

SheHulk723

I had never heard of this before.  Since DH and I don't do holidays, we don't really buy each other gifts besides anniversaries and random gifts.  My husband sucks at choosing gifts too.  His gifts to me in the past have been 1. taking me to a fancy restaurant (one that I not only had to make the reservation for, but also had to reschedule it when he spent his money on a set of golf clubs for himself and realized he couldn't afford to take me out afterwards) and 2. a stuffed bear, which actually has sentimental value, but I had to actually tell him that's what I wanted.  So I think I'll tell him about this push present thing and see what he can come up with on his own.  I've dropped hints about a necklace I want for over 2 years now, and it's not even an expensive one, it's like $15 tops.

ETA: I already told him I expect an icy cold Innis and Gunn, so that doesn't count haha.

bigbobdole

When I had my daughter, my ex's mother got me a big fluffy robe and a gold bracelet. I don't know if push presents were a thing back then, but I liked it. The robe was glorious.

luckylady18

SheHulk723 said:

I had never heard of this before.  Since DH and I don't do holidays, we don't really buy each other gifts besides anniversaries and random gifts.  My husband sucks at choosing gifts too.  His gifts to me in the past have been 1. taking me to a fancy restaurant (one that I not only had to make the reservation for, but also had to reschedule it when he spent his money on a set of golf clubs for himself and realized he couldn't afford to take me out afterwards) and 2. a stuffed bear, which actually has sentimental value, but I had to actually tell him that's what I wanted.  So I think I'll tell him about this push present thing and see what he can come up with on his own.  I've dropped hints about a necklace I want for over 2 years now, and it's not even an expensive one, it's like $15 tops.

ETA: I already told him I expect an icy cold Innis and Gunn, so that doesn't count haha.

Is Innis and Gun a beer? Please enlighten me!

efujan

I hate the term "push present" too.  Sounds a little gross . . . like it's tied to the whole childbirth process.  I have no problem with something to commemorate entering parenthood, though.  I like sentimental shit like that.  Just not something that makes me think there's a sound effect that goes with it.  :-&

DH wanted to buy something after DS was born, but wanted me to pick it out.  I kind of forgot about it (I actually had a hell of a time finding a piece of Aquamarine jewelry I liked).  He brought it up again & we settled on waiting until we were done having kids so I could do something with all (both) of the kids' birthstones together - if it looks nice (will Garnet look ok with Aquamarine???) - or just find something else so that I'm not "playing favorites" or something.

ETA - clarification.

kawess

Before I was pregnant DH mentioned that I would get something nice. Who knows if he remembers that convo now. It's a big topic of convo amongst our friends, so it should still be in his mind. I'm really hoping for a push present bc my presents for my birthday and Christmas and any other occasion last year were "our wedding and house". But I shouldn't get my hopes up, DH isn't the best gift giver with out instructions.