UO Thursday - 7/24

Maebb · July 2014

I have been waiting since yesterday to post a UO, so I'll start the thread.

Share your unpopular opinions here!

Maebb · July 2014

I think it's kind of tacky to keep the sex of your baby a secret if your sole reason for doing so is to control what kind of gifts you get at your baby shower. I get that people keep it a secret for other reasons, but just because you don't want all pink or blue or you'd rather get things other than clothes - that's lame.

I think it's ok to register for baby gifts, and it's ok to answer if people ask questions about what baby items you really want or need, but beyond that, just graciously accept the gifts that are given to you (or discreetly return them and then buy what you want), and don't try to be manipulative.

motherboy · July 2014

I had like three good UOs yesterday and now only remember one. Ugh.

This is from the celeb crush thread: big muscles on men do nothing for me. I like 'em long and lean.

YaMrWhite · July 2014

motherboy said:
I had like three good UOs yesterday and now only remember one. Ugh.

This is from the celeb crush thread: big muscles on men do nothing for me. I like 'em long and lean.

I can understand this. I'm an EOL (equal opportunity lover) haha. Leo is definitely not muscular but Jason Momoa is. If you've got a good personality and are easy on the eyes, chances are I'd do ya.

Maebb · July 2014

CrazyMonkeyBear said:

Maebb said:

I think it's kind of tacky to keep the sex of your baby a secret if your sole reason for doing so is to control what kind of gifts you get at your baby shower. I get that people keep it a secret for other reasons, but just because you don't want all pink or blue or you'd rather get things other than clothes - that's lame

Meh. I just think it's stupid that people go "It's a girl! Let's buy all the pink and frilly crap we can find!" or "it's a boy! All the cars, sports, and planes we can get!"

I had family members tell me I just had to find out so they could buy all the stuff for that particular sex. I despise the colors pink and orange with a passion, and they all know it but don't care. Anything coming in those colors outside of clothing is going right back to the store.

I actually don't want a baby shower, but I have a feeling that it will be one of those "we're not telling you when it is, we're just going to bring you to it" things that I can't decline until it's too late.

__________

I get what you mean - I don't like the over-the-top pink frilly stuff or gender-specific toys either, but I still think it's tacky to keep the sex a secret to try to control it.

jennkg3 · July 2014

I hope this is worded correctly. I think hiring doulas is completely unneeded. I don't understand it. I didn't take birth classes, I didn't practice breathing and I didn't get an epidural (though I understand why people do and don't judge it at all). Just go have your freakin baby I mean there is so much planning and craziness I don't get, it's one day, worry about the next 18 years focus your energy on that.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

jennkg3 · July 2014

@excitedmama2 I was against meds for me because I'm terrified of needles and I'm freaked out by some of the complications that can arise from an epidural, all selfish for me not the baby. I just figured again it's one day. I ran a few marathons before I had kids and just am of the mentality of this too shall pass and it does. However, I'm not saying I would never use anything if it was too much that I couldn't handle it, I just wanted to do everything I could to avoid it. This has nothing to do with birth experience or anything just my own fears.

jennkg3 · July 2014

Britt1406 said:

I think the bashing of the US's insurance/medical system is really not needed. You don't live here? Good for you, that was your choice. I choose to live here, I like my hospital and my doctors. I'm not out there bashing your Country. Keep it to your own experiences and don't make blanket statements!

I hope this is not unpopular! I don't bash other countries I think we can all learn from each other. I love the US!

peggels24 · July 2014

I am not looking forward to deciding on what items to put on the Registry. It's just too overwhelming.

jennkg3 · July 2014

Firefly3911 said:

jennkg3 said:

@excitedmama2 I was against meds for me because I'm terrified of needles and I'm freaked out by some of the complications that can arise from an epidural, all selfish for me not the baby. I just figured again it's one day. I ran a few marathons before I had kids and just am of the mentality of this too shall pass and it does. However, I'm not saying I would never use anything if it was too much that I couldn't handle it, I just wanted to do everything I could to avoid it. This has nothing to do with birth experience or anything just my own fears.

There is no love lost between me and the needles. I've heard stories about the epi needle. However, me and vomiting are even worse friends. Once I start, I don't stop. I'll take the needle every time LOL. But that's me.

If you've got the mental fortitude to do it, more power to you!! ^:)^

my uo isn't about meds/non meds honestly I'd rather not be scared of every what if and of just needles, it's this whole idea of a "birth experience." People spend so much time and money on this it's crazy. I mean even the picking out music, doulas all of it seems nuts to me. Ds was an accidental home birth BEST BIRTH EXPERIENCE EVER why? It was quick!! There was no fancy music, breathing. With dd I was lucky enough to catch a 'the office' marathon while in labor. I don't know, I just think it's all crazy.

YaMrWhite · July 2014

Firefly3911 said:

I had an epi, pushed for 2.5 hours and DD finally emerged. The whole time I was cool as a cucumber. The second she came forth, tears burst through like a broken dam. Insta-bond. :x

Ditto all this minus tears. I really thought I would cry but I didn't. But I'll be damned if I wasn't elated and instantly felt this amazing connection that just continues to get stronger.

AlfiesMOM · July 2014

I am so sick of how everyone jumps all over people for saying gender instead of sex. Look I get it gender is not the correct term but who cares, these people aren't doing it maliciously!

motherboy · July 2014

AlfiesMOM said:
I am so sick of how everyone jumps all over people for saying gender instead of sex. Look I get it gender is not the correct term but who cares, these people aren't doing it maliciously!

Not out of malice but out of ignorance. So people correct them. I don't see anyone jumping over people who use the incorrect term. They just correct it.

This has been discussed. Yawn.

Babytime1778 · July 2014

CrazyMonkeyBear said:

peggels24 said:

I am not looking forward to deciding on what items to put on the Registry. It's just too overwhelming.

I hated it. The day we did that, we also did our wedding registry updates. I was so sick of looking at stores by the time I was done

I was doing this yesterday and gave up after picking out the infant car seat. It is very overwhelming.

AlfiesMOM · July 2014

motherboy said:

I am so sick of how everyone jumps all over people for saying gender instead of sex. Look I get it gender is not the correct term but who cares, these people aren't doing it maliciously!
Not out of malice but out of ignorance. So people correct them. I don't see anyone jumping over people who use the incorrect term. They just correct it. This has been discussed. Yawn.

Then don't respond

peggels24 · July 2014

ACH831 said:

My UO today is totally NBR.

I friggin HATE umbrellas. I think they are useless and ineffective (especially when it's windy!). I also hate how many of the people who use them seem to lose all common sense and courtesy when doing so. I can't tell you how many times I've almost had my eye taken out by some oblivious fool wielding a hideously oversized umbrella while walking down a crowded city street.

Give me a raincoat and a baseball cap and I'm good to go.

My DH used to be like this. Had the same exact opinion - and then all of a sudden, one day, he started using them - I thought it was weird.

millymillz · July 2014

I don't like when kids use pacifiers past one year old. But then again, I don't like when they suck bottles past that age either.

By grandmother freaked out when she discovered at had taken my first baby's bottle at 10-months-old (I took his binky at 6 months).

jennkg3 · July 2014

millymillz said:

I don't like when kids use pacifiers past one year old. But then again, I don't like when they suck bottles past that age either. By grandmother freaked out when she discovered at had taken my first baby's bottle at 10-months-old (I took his binky at 6 months).

bottles I agree. The binky I can stand till about 18 months and even 2 if it's for bedtime, mine won't have them till two but I get it. Now, when I see like a three or 4 year old that really bugs me. The other day there was a kid probably 4 with one and dd (who just turned three) said look that baby has a binky just like my baby. I wasn't even embarrassed I thought good now you know your child looks ridiculous and you look like a lazy parent.

motherboy · July 2014

AlfiesMOM said:

motherboy said:

AlfiesMOM said:
I am so sick of how everyone jumps all over people for saying gender instead of sex. Look I get it gender is not the correct term but who cares, these people aren't doing it maliciously!
Not out of malice but out of ignorance. So people correct them. I don't see anyone jumping over people who use the incorrect term. They just correct it.

This has been discussed. Yawn.

Then don't respond

That's stupid. You are annoyed by people correcting the wrong term? Well people are correcting them because using the wrong term is annoying them. No one's attacking. Sorry if you feel it's repetitive but it gets really old seeing the wrong word being used over and over.

Or, you know, we could just let ignorance win out. That always is for the best.

YaMrWhite · July 2014

HappyMonkey817 said:

I don't understand the point of creating a super-fancy nursery. A baby can't even see half the crap that goes into it, and I think the money and effort would be better spent on other things. We plan on focusing on keeping the baby safe and comfy, and waiting until later to really decorate the room. By then we'll know what the kid likes, so we can make a room that really suits their personality and preferences.

Not that my nursery for DD was super fancy or this one will be either but....because it's fun!? I'll be painting the walls, putting in a comfy rug, hanging a chair rail, hanging cute curtains, and framing some newborn pics, as well as a quote in a frame to match the decor and a gold mirror. (Colors are going to be mint, coral, gold, and white all throughout the room. I like decorating (my dream job would be interior decorator so its quite fun to come up with color schemes and such for a room) but I certainly won't be buying anything expensive or a nursery bedding set.

I guess that is my UO. Nursery bedding sets are a waste of money. A crib sheet and maybe a mesh breathable bumper are all you need for the crib.

jennkg3 · July 2014

YaMrWhite said:

HappyMonkey817 said:

I don't understand the point of creating a super-fancy nursery. A baby can't even see half the crap that goes into it, and I think the money and effort would be better spent on other things. We plan on focusing on keeping the baby safe and comfy, and waiting until later to really decorate the room. By then we'll know what the kid likes, so we can make a room that really suits their personality and preferences.

Not that my nursery for DD was super fancy or this one will be either but....because it's fun!? I'll be painting the walls, putting in a comfy rug, hanging a chair rail, hanging cute curtains, and framing some newborn pics, as well as a quote in a frame to match the decor and a gold mirror. (Colors are going to be mint, coral, gold, and white all throughout the room. I like decorating (my dream job would be interior decorator so its quite fun to come up with color schemes and such for a room) but I certainly won't be buying anything expensive or a nursery bedding set.

I guess that is my UO. Nursery bedding sets are a waste of money. A crib sheet and maybe a mesh breathable bumper are all you need for the crib.

yes every ftm read this. Don't fall for it! You can't use any of it!!What a waste!

YaMrWhite · July 2014

jennkg3 said:

millymillz said:

I don't like when kids use pacifiers past one year old. But then again, I don't like when they suck bottles past that age either. By grandmother freaked out when she discovered at had taken my first baby's bottle at 10-months-old (I took his binky at 6 months).

bottles I agree. The binky I can stand till about 18 months and even 2 if it's for bedtime, mine won't have them till two but I get it. Now, when I see like a three or 4 year old that really bugs me. The other day there was a kid probably 4 with one and dd (who just turned three) said look that baby has a binky just like my baby. I wasn't even embarrassed I thought good now you know your child looks ridiculous and you look like a lazy parent.

At that age, its more about the parent and not the child. Don't be scared to take away the pacifier! Your kid will adapt!

BookitBoo · July 2014

RE not wanting pain meds: I have really strong reactions to medicine. Like, with anesthesia I'll usually vomit for the rest of the day if I let the doctor and anesthesiologist know about my strong reactions before hand; I have been sick and vomiting for up to 3 days before I realized that telling the doctors about my reactions might help them help me. I wanted to have my birth completely med free for purely selfish reasons; I didn't want to be potentially sick as a dog for days. My MIL told me I didn't need to 'be a hero' even after I explained my fear to her several times. Oh, well. I only ended up getting to laboring pain med free for 11 hours.

12chachacha · July 2014

A friend of mine trained as a volunteer doula for an organization that provides doulas to women who lack support for the birth. I think it's a great idea if you don't have family around, lack a supportive partner, etc. I'm not using one but I'm lucky to have a very supportive partner.
Re: the nursery. I consider the nursery to be for me, not the baby. The baby won't care, but I'm going to want a nice space for all the times I'll be in there. I'm terrible at decorating though so I'll probably just paint a wall or two and hang up a few cute pictures. Maybe a rug.

BookitBoo · July 2014

The pacifier! LOL.

My son is 2 1/2 and looks older than he is because he is so tall. I don't really care what people think if they see him with his pacifier -- he gets it for bedtime and if he's sick. So if they see him with his pacifier I already have bigger problems than their opinion of my parenting, or 'laziness.'

That just makes me lol

amiej1227 · July 2014

I'm actually excited about decorating the nursery, it won't be anything overly fancy but I think it will be fun. And regardless of the sex I still plan on the colors being blues, greens, yellows, and grays... I'm not a big fan of a pink room. A cute pink dress I can handle but an entire room? Nope

jennkg3 · July 2014

@BookitBoo‌ yes you get me!! It's not me doing it for the baby it's completely selfish I don't want to deal with the meds. I hate when people tell me you don't get a medal for going med free I'm not trying to do anything special I just don't want to deal with side effects and reactions.

YaMrWhite · July 2014

CrazyMonkeyBear said:

jennkg3 said:

YaMrWhite said:

HappyMonkey817 said:

I don't understand the point of creating a super-fancy nursery. A baby can't even see half the crap that goes into it, and I think the money and effort would be better spent on other things. We plan on focusing on keeping the baby safe and comfy, and waiting until later to really decorate the room. By then we'll know what the kid likes, so we can make a room that really suits their personality and preferences.

Not that my nursery for DD was super fancy or this one will be either but....because it's fun!? I'll be painting the walls, putting in a comfy rug, hanging a chair rail, hanging cute curtains, and framing some newborn pics, as well as a quote in a frame to match the decor and a gold mirror. (Colors are going to be mint, coral, gold, and white all throughout the room. I like decorating (my dream job would be interior decorator so its quite fun to come up with color schemes and such for a room) but I certainly won't be buying anything expensive or a nursery bedding set.

I guess that is my UO. Nursery bedding sets are a waste of money. A crib sheet and maybe a mesh breathable bumper are all you need for the crib.

yes every ftm read this. Don't fall for it! You can't use any of it!!What a waste!

The one we got simply has a quilt for when the baby is old enough to use it, two fitted sheets, the skirt thingy, and some wall decorations. I saw some with bumpers and pillows and crap and was like "uh, am I going to ever use that? Probably not"

DD is 2 and with the transition to a big girl bed coming up this month, she will need bedding that fits a full size bed. Those crib quilts are too small. I still think they are a waste of money but if you end up using it, that is awesome!

More food for thought. When you lower the crib as they age, sometimes the crib skirt won't fit anymore as it will bunch up on the floor. That was the case with our crib so a crib skirt was wasted after a few months too. Just FYI

motherboy · July 2014

YaMrWhite said:

jennkg3 said:

millymillz said:

I don't like when kids use pacifiers past one year old. But then again, I don't like when they suck bottles past that age either.

By grandmother freaked out when she discovered at had taken my first baby's bottle at 10-months-old (I took his binky at 6 months).

bottles I agree. The binky I can stand till about 18 months and even 2 if it's for bedtime, mine won't have them till two but I get it. Now, when I see like a three or 4 year old that really bugs me. The other day there was a kid probably 4 with one and dd (who just turned three) said look that baby has a binky just like my baby. I wasn't even embarrassed I thought good now you know your child looks ridiculous and you look like a lazy parent.

At that age, its more about the parent and not the child. Don't be scared to take away the pacifier! Your kid will adapt!
----------------Quote fail---------
Ugh DS is 19 months and I'm about to snip the tip. Like, today. I'm terrified.

EmilyA724 · July 2014

BookitBoo said:
RE not wanting pain meds: I have really strong reactions to medicine. Like, with anesthesia I'll usually vomit for the rest of the day if I let the doctor and anesthesiologist know about my strong reactions before hand; I have been sick and vomiting for up to 3 days before I realized that telling the doctors about my reactions might help them help me. I wanted to have my birth completely med free for purely selfish reasons; I didn't want to be potentially sick as a dog for days. My MIL told me I didn't need to 'be a hero' even after I explained my fear to her several times. Oh, well. I only ended up getting to laboring pain med free for 11 hours.

My DH has a similar reaction to anesthesia because he is allergic. Have you never been diagnosed with it as an allergy? They also have a different kind of anesthesia that he can use and isn't allergic to, but it's not the default because it's more expensive.

millymillz · July 2014

"Ugh DS is 19 months and I'm about to snip the tip. Like, today. I'm terrified."

This really made me laugh.

I can imagine how difficult it must be to take it at that age. I think the reason I took my son's so early is because I'm a sucker and I think the process would have taken forever, especially if he were more aware.

MKro2 · July 2014

Maebb said:

I think it's kind of tacky to keep the sex of your baby a secret if your sole reason for doing so is to control what kind of gifts you get at your baby shower. I get that people keep it a secret for other reasons, but just because you don't want all pink or blue or you'd rather get things other than clothes - that's lame. I think it's ok to register for baby gifts, and it's ok to answer if people ask questions about what baby items you really want or need, but beyond that, just graciously accept the gifts that are given to you (or discreetly return them and then buy what you want), and don't try to be manipulative.

@Maebb - this was so going to be my UO. It also bugs me if the sole reason is to keep it from your MIL. Yeah they can be extremely annoying, but they are LO's grandma and they aren't going to be around forever. Let them spoil the LOs (within reason) while they can. Some of my best childhood memories involve my grandparents from both sides. My Dad's parent are both now gone and my Mom's parents are in really poor health. I'm glad I got the time and had the relationships I did with them.

EmilyA724 · July 2014

amiej1227 said:
I'm actually excited about decorating the nursery, it won't be anything overly fancy but I think it will be fun. And regardless of the sex I still plan on the colors being blues, greens, yellows, and grays... I'm not a big fan of a pink room. A cute pink dress I can handle but an entire room? Nope

Those are my colors too (yellow room with gray, blue, and green decor). I'm not going to buy the set, but I'm going to get the changing pad cover and curtains from this. I'm so excited!

motherboy · July 2014

millymillz said:
"Ugh DS is 19 months and I'm about to snip the tip. Like, today. I'm terrified."

This really made me laugh.

I can imagine how difficult it must be to take it at that age. I think the reason I took my son's so early is because I'm a sucker and I think the process would have taken forever, especially if he were more aware.

Haha I know it makes it sound like I'm circumcizing (sp?) Him. To clarify, they say that if you cut the end off the Binkie it loses the suction and the kid loses interest. I think it sounds better than just taking it away cold turkey.

BookitBoo · July 2014

EmilyA724 said:

BookitBoo said:
RE not wanting pain meds: I have really strong reactions to medicine. Like, with anesthesia I'll usually vomit for the rest of the day if I let the doctor and anesthesiologist know about my strong reactions before hand; I have been sick and vomiting for up to 3 days before I realized that telling the doctors about my reactions might help them help me. I wanted to have my birth completely med free for purely selfish reasons; I didn't want to be potentially sick as a dog for days. My MIL told me I didn't need to 'be a hero' even after I explained my fear to her several times. Oh, well. I only ended up getting to laboring pain med free for 11 hours.

My DH has a similar reaction to anesthesia because he is allergic. Have you never been diagnosed with it as an allergy? They also have a different kind of anesthesia that he can use and isn't allergic to, but it's not the default because it's more expensive.

No, I've never had it diagnosed as an allergy. I tell me doctors but they haven't done like a test or anything. Do they do a test or anything? I didn't realize they could/would, but thank you for letting me know! I'll talk to my doctor about it

It doesn't surprise me, because I'm also allergic to morphine (forgot about that until after I was already hooked up to it in the post labor recovery room. Fuckin A).

Usually I get the special anesthesia and/or a Scopolamine Patch behind my ear.

jennkg3 · July 2014

millymillz said:

"Ugh DS is 19 months and I'm about to snip the tip. Like, today. I'm terrified." This really made me laugh. I can imagine how difficult it must be to take it at that age. I think the reason I took my son's so early is because I'm a sucker and I think the process would have taken forever, especially if he were more aware.

I agree the earlier the easier. I took dd's at 19 months. She decided she wanted it all the time and in a moment of frustration I grabbed them all and chucked them. I don't regret it one bit it was a tough day maybe two. It's always worse in your head.

mshepherd20 · July 2014

ExcitedMama2 said:
@jennkg3‌ Mine is similar... I don't understand the desire to have a baby with no pain meds/etc. Good for those that do, but I don't get it why people feel so strongly about doing so, and then feel like failures if they do need interventions.

I also think the whole 'you can't really bond with your baby if you don't have it naturally' theory is bs.

I'm going to piggyback off of your last comment. I don't like when people assume that you can't bond with your baby as much if you don't find out the sex before birth.
I've had two pregnancies where we found out after delivering and I was able to bond perfectly well with both babies throughout pregnancy.

YaMrWhite · July 2014

motherboy said:

jennkg3 said:

millymillz said:

I don't like when kids use pacifiers past one year old. But then again, I don't like when they suck bottles past that age either. By grandmother freaked out when she discovered at had taken my first baby's bottle at 10-months-old (I took his binky at 6 months).

bottles I agree. The binky I can stand till about 18 months and even 2 if it's for bedtime, mine won't have them till two but I get it. Now, when I see like a three or 4 year old that really bugs me. The other day there was a kid probably 4 with one and dd (who just turned three) said look that baby has a binky just like my baby. I wasn't even embarrassed I thought good now you know your child looks ridiculous and you look like a lazy parent.

At that age, its more about the parent and not the child. Don't be scared to take away the pacifier! Your kid will adapt!
----------------Quote fail--------- Ugh DS is 19 months and I'm about to snip the tip. Like, today. I'm terrified.

It might make for a few rough days but you can do it!!

mommy5point0 · July 2014

AlfiesMOM said:
I am so sick of how everyone jumps all over people for saying gender instead of sex. Look I get it gender is not the correct term but who cares, these people aren't doing it maliciously!

I'm with you. Not a hill to die on. People act like it's a federal crime. The term gender is everywhere, even if incorrect. I counted 4 websites that allow you to sort by gender; I can see why people still say it.

Incorrect use of you're/your and they're/their/there bugs me, but I'm not going to correct someone. It makes me look like an asshole. Shrug your shoulders and move on.

jennkg3 · July 2014

YaMrWhite said:

CrazyMonkeyBear said:

jennkg3 said:

YaMrWhite said:

HappyMonkey817 said:

I don't understand the point of creating a super-fancy nursery. A baby can't even see half the crap that goes into it, and I think the money and effort would be better spent on other things. We plan on focusing on keeping the baby safe and comfy, and waiting until later to really decorate the room. By then we'll know what the kid likes, so we can make a room that really suits their personality and preferences.

Not that my nursery for DD was super fancy or this one will be either but....because it's fun!? I'll be painting the walls, putting in a comfy rug, hanging a chair rail, hanging cute curtains, and framing some newborn pics, as well as a quote in a frame to match the decor and a gold mirror. (Colors are going to be mint, coral, gold, and white all throughout the room. I like decorating (my dream job would be interior decorator so its quite fun to come up with color schemes and such for a room) but I certainly won't be buying anything expensive or a nursery bedding set.

I guess that is my UO. Nursery bedding sets are a waste of money. A crib sheet and maybe a mesh breathable bumper are all you need for the crib.

yes every ftm read this. Don't fall for it! You can't use any of it!!What a waste!

The one we got simply has a quilt for when the baby is old enough to use it, two fitted sheets, the skirt thingy, and some wall decorations. I saw some with bumpers and pillows and crap and was like "uh, am I going to ever use that? Probably not"

DD is 2 and with the transition to a big girl bed coming up this month, she will need bedding that fits a full size bed. Those crib quilts are too small. I still think they are a waste of money but if you end up using it, that is awesome!

More food for thought. When you lower the crib as they age, sometimes the crib skirt won't fit anymore as it will bunch up on the floor. That was the case with our crib so a crib skirt was wasted after a few months too. Just FYI

I agree. Although we were team green with dd so ours is neutral. Once she moved to a toddler bed she has a purple flower one my mom made. Now, ds is 13 months today maybe when it gets cooler he will actually use it. The bumpers we used for dd when she was older cause she would roll i to the sides of the bed and bang her head lol she's funny. Who ever knows what you will and won't use but the costs of these sets and the chance you may use it is what bothers me.

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