January 2015 Moms

UO Thursday - 7/24

24

Re: UO Thursday - 7/24

  • jennkg3 said:
    "Ugh DS is 19 months and I'm about to snip the tip. Like, today. I'm terrified." This really made me laugh. I can imagine how difficult it must be to take it at that age. I think the reason I took my son's so early is because I'm a sucker and I think the process would have taken forever, especially if he were more aware.

    I agree the earlier the easier. I took dd's at 19 months. She decided she wanted it all the time and in a moment of frustration I grabbed them all and chucked them. I don't regret it one bit it was a tough day maybe two. It's always worse in your head.
    I was forced into it around 18 months with DD. She started chewing on it at night so it became a choking hazard and her pediatrician said you gotta go cold turkey. We did and I was terrified but she surprised me. For weeks though I was terrified of her seeing one and reverting haha
    Stephanie Ella ~ 6/15/2012
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  • AlfiesMOM said:

    I am so sick of how everyone jumps all over people for saying gender instead of sex. Look I get it gender is not the correct term but who cares, these people aren't doing it maliciously! 

    Well said
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  • YaMrWhiteYaMrWhite member
    edited July 2014
    Lanatir said:
    MKro2 said:
    Maebb said:
    I think it's kind of tacky to keep the sex of your baby a secret if your sole reason for doing so is to control what kind of gifts you get at your baby shower. I get that people keep it a secret for other reasons, but just because you don't want all pink or blue or you'd rather get things other than clothes - that's lame. I think it's ok to register for baby gifts, and it's ok to answer if people ask questions about what baby items you really want or need, but beyond that, just graciously accept the gifts that are given to you (or discreetly return them and then buy what you want), and don't try to be manipulative.

    @Maebb - this was so going to be my UO.  It also bugs me if the sole reason is to keep it from your MIL.  Yeah they can be extremely annoying, but they are LO's grandma and they aren't going to be around forever.  Let them spoil the LOs (within reason) while they can.  Some of my best childhood memories involve my grandparents from both sides.  My Dad's parent are both now gone and my Mom's parents are in really poor health.  I'm glad I got the time and had the relationships I did with them.


     

    Well, bunching up my panties over here.  I'm glad your MiL isn't unmedicated, bipolar, and also having tendencies towards a narcissistic personality disorder.  Keeping things from my MiL is about the only way to sometimes keep her from over stepping her boundaries.  I had to stop putting pictures of DD on FB because she automatically saved them all to her computer and reposted them to her profile, saying "Look at how cute the baby is with MY hands" or "That's MY smile."  No, it's not.  It's my daughter's hands and my daughter's smile.  Maybe it looks similar to the ones from your side of the family, but it did not come directly from you.

    She's so bad that DH is the only one of her children who still speaks to her on any regular basis.  His brother has 100% cut his mom out and DH's sister only calls or visits on her parents' birthdays and sometimes Christmas or Thanksgiving.

    This thought of grandparents spoiling children might happen with normal ones, but it certainly does not happen on this end with my ILs.  Unless you call holding a 1 year olds mouth open and force feeding jello and uncooked raw turkey spoiling.

    Keeping things from my MiL is protecting my family.
    I think we have similar MILs...My MIL used to tease DD with food when she first started eating solids. She said it made her feel needed. WTF?!?!?! She's lucky my husband and I still communicate with her at all. Her other son moved to California (we are in VA) to get far away from her.
    Stephanie Ella ~ 6/15/2012
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  • BookitBoo said:

    EmilyA724 said:

    BookitBoo said:

    RE not wanting pain meds: I have really strong reactions to medicine. Like, with anesthesia I'll usually vomit for the rest of the day if I let the doctor and anesthesiologist know about my strong reactions before hand; I have been sick and vomiting for up to 3 days before I realized that telling the doctors about my reactions might help them help me. I wanted to have my birth completely med free for purely selfish reasons; I didn't want to be potentially sick as a dog for days. My MIL told me I didn't need to 'be a hero' even after I explained my fear to her several times. Oh, well. I only ended up getting to laboring pain med free for 11 hours.

    My DH has a similar reaction to anesthesia because he is allergic. Have you never been diagnosed with it as an allergy? They also have a different kind of anesthesia that he can use and isn't allergic to, but it's not the default because it's more expensive.

    No, I've never had it diagnosed as an allergy. I tell me doctors but they haven't done like a test or anything. Do they do a test or anything? I didn't realize they could/would, but thank you for letting me know! I'll talk to my doctor about it :)

    It doesn't surprise me, because I'm also allergic to morphine (forgot about that until after I was already hooked up to it in the post labor recovery room. Fuckin A).

    Usually I get the special anesthesia and/or a Scopolamine Patch behind my ear.
    DH was told he was allergic solely based on his reaction. He woke up literally green and threw up a lot.
    Me 31  <3  DH 34
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  • My UO is that I hate when people call Disneyland/Disneyworld "Disney". "We're going to Disney"... Oh, really? Land or world? My SOs family calls either place Disney and I've seen it on here and other internet sites, so I figure that it is a UO. Idk why it bugs me so much!! Lol.

     

  • jennkg3 said:
    I hope this is worded correctly. I think hiring doulas is completely unneeded. I don't understand it. I didn't take birth classes, I didn't practice breathing and I didn't get an epidural (though I understand why people do and don't judge it at all). Just go have your freakin baby I mean there is so much planning and craziness I don't get, it's one day, worry about the next 18 years focus your energy on that.
    So it's unnecessary for me to hire a Doula when I'm not sure if my husband will even be able to make it to the hospital for the birth of our child? I guess I just don't need support then...
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  • @YaMrWhite and @LilacCourt-- I'm sorry you ladies have to deal with crap like I do, too.  It's so hard.  Idk if you're like me, but I have a hard time cutting family out, and DH clings to her yet because she's his mom and he feels like it's not fair just to cut her off "like everyone else has" (actual words from a conversation we had).  Thankfully, DH is on the same page as me that my ILs will NEVER (barring like the worst emergency possible and there are no other options) watch our kids.

    Haha end airing dirty laundry about ILs and back to the UOs?  haha.
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  • Lanatir said:
    @YaMrWhite and @LilacCourt-- I'm sorry you ladies have to deal with crap like I do, too.  It's so hard.  Idk if you're like me, but I have a hard time cutting family out, and DH clings to her yet because she's his mom and he feels like it's not fair just to cut her off "like everyone else has" (actual words from a conversation we had).  Thankfully, DH is on the same page as me that my ILs will NEVER (barring like the worst emergency possible and there are no other options) watch our kids.

    Haha end airing dirty laundry about ILs and back to the UOs?  haha.
    FIL we are cool with (they are divorced) but MIL no. DH feels bad for her and won't cut her out but does keep her at a distance still. It is VERY hard! 

    Agree back to UOs :)
    Stephanie Ella ~ 6/15/2012
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  • My UO is that I hate when people call Disneyland/Disneyworld "Disney". "We're going to Disney"... Oh, really? Land or world? My SOs family calls either place Disney and I've seen it on here and other internet sites, so I figure that it is a UO. Idk why it bugs me so much!! Lol.
    Usually around Central FL you hear everyone say "Disney" because it is assumed Disney World. If a local person is talking about something besides Disney World they refer to it as Disney Land/Paris/etc.
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  • jennkg3 said:

    I hope this is worded correctly. I think hiring doulas is completely unneeded. I don't understand it. I didn't take birth classes, I didn't practice breathing and I didn't get an epidural (though I understand why people do and don't judge it at all). Just go have your freakin baby I mean there is so much planning and craziness I don't get, it's one day, worry about the next 18 years focus your energy on that.

    So it's unnecessary for me to hire a Doula when I'm not sure if my husband will even be able to make it to the hospital for the birth of our child? I guess I just don't need support then...



    I agree. I'm looking into having a Doula because my DH doesn't want my sister there and I'm afraid he is going to get tired of dealing with me. He loves me and is supportive but if I'm in labor for hours and I'm a bitch the whole time I'm not for sure how long he would be able to manage by himself and then I'd be left alone because I can totally see him leaving to cool off. The only other option I have is my mom but she has already said there is no way that she will be there because she can't deal with seeing me in that kind of pain. So having a doula there to help keep tensions down would be nice.
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  • I completely agree that bedding sets are a complete waste of money. I knitted my son a blanket that he will have in his crib this winter and we stuck to solid bed sheets that match his room.
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  • I think that super complicated and detailed birth plans are ridiculous, unnecessary, and potentially set the mother up for disappointment. My birth plan: get baby out as safely as possible.
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  • I can't stand the acronyms DS, DD, DH, LO, etc. Labeling everything "dear" is so schmaltzy and saccarine. Is it really hard to say "my husband" or "MH", or "my baby" vs LO?

    Yes!

    Irks my soul. I've tried to use them, not my thing.
  • vjdk07vjdk07 member
    Maebb said:

    I can't stand the acronyms DS, DD, DH, LO, etc. Labeling everything "dear" is so schmaltzy and saccarine. Is it really hard to say "my husband" or "MH", or "my baby" vs LO?

    DH saw over my shoulder that I was typing DH, and he said, "What does that mean? Dumb husband?"

    I don't mind the acronyms - they're quicker. For some reason I get annoyed by schmoopy phrases like "hubby."

    --------------------

    Yes. Hate hubby or hubs. Gag.
    Me: 31 DH:36
    DSS: 15 DS: 7
    DD born 1/3/15


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  • Pips09Pips09 member
    I can't stand the acronyms DS, DD, DH, LO, etc. Labeling everything "dear" is so schmaltzy and saccarine. Is it really hard to say "my husband" or "MH", or "my baby" vs LO?
    Yes! In all my years on here, I have never used DH or DD or LO. I'll use my H or my kid. I just can't bring myself to use those acronyms.
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  • I think written out birth plans are unnecessary and, as @Christina_Diane said, set you up for disappointment. You can't predict how labor will go - things happen, babies get distressed, etc. The only thing I might say, if I have the option, is minimal staff present. As in, no students or trainees, or other unnecessary staff. If you aren't serving a purpose - get out. I had a 2 week long stay at a teaching hospital 10 years ago, and about 10 med students walked in my room my first morning (Grey's Anatomy style). I was also a training dummy for a new phlebotomist. Yea, that's not happening this time around - my vagina is not a show.


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  • My UO is that I actually liked my c-sections. Having a healthy baby is first priority, but a pain free birth and longer hospital stay where I was pampered and had help with my baby was a close second.
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  • YaMrWhiteYaMrWhite member
    edited July 2014
    BookitBoo said:
    RE not wanting pain meds: I have really strong reactions to medicine. Like, with anesthesia I'll usually vomit for the rest of the day if I let the doctor and anesthesiologist know about my strong reactions before hand; I have been sick and vomiting for up to 3 days before I realized that telling the doctors about my reactions might help them help me. I wanted to have my birth completely med free for purely selfish reasons; I didn't want to be potentially sick as a dog for days. My MIL told me I didn't need to 'be a hero' even after I explained my fear to her several times. Oh, well. I only ended up getting to laboring pain med free for 11 hours.
    I totally get when people don't use pain meds/etc for things like this...I actually don't even really care if people don't use pain meds for birth because they feel like a warrior...I just don't like it when those that DO use pain meds are made to feel like their birth was somehow inferior BECAUSE they used meds.  
    The only person who can make you feel a certain way is yourself. You are in control of your feelings. I don't give a shit what anyone says about med-free or not. I am happy with my choice to get an epidural and seeing "I went natural" stickers or hearing people say that you should try med-free because it's a more empowering experience doesn't make me feel like my birth was inferior in the least. 

    Edit to add: easier said than done I understand.
    Stephanie Ella ~ 6/15/2012
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  • My husband suprised me during labor- he was amazing...like the Pinterest photos that show husband being all loving during labor amazing and I made fun of those pics as in that would never be my husband bc he can be a big baby and an ass but man he was awesome that day- not saying everyone else's husbands will be awesome and so not to do a duala bc if you know he can't be supportive you NEED support so wherever you get it I'm happy for you...but if I had gotten one I probably wouldn't have gotten to see that amazing side of my hubby( yes I use that word lol)

    As for gender sex debate- I never put much thought into it and I'm glad I now understand the difference and how it does affect people...but once one person has corrected it like seriously why do five more people have to chime in with the same comment- the person gets it and unless they are arguing with you (like some have) I don't see the point of everyone staying the same thing...it makes me roll my eyes and forget why it matters...and yea the intersex comments are getting old!
  • maytay83 said:
    If we're going to accuse people of ignorance for saying gender instead of sex, we should also be calling people out for saying "it's a boy / it's a girl". The non ignorant equivalent should be "it has a penis / it has a vagina" ...
    YES
  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    edited July 2014
    funny how people are all high and mighty like "ohhhh you can't KNOW the gender from the ultrasound, you know the SEX" and yet suddenly at birth..... and suddenly at birth, boom, we pick a gender! lololol
  • @Lanatir‌ and @YaMrWhite‌ when my DH was little he only ate hot dogs as far ad meat goes. His mom used to chase him around the yard with a hamburger then try to shove it in his mouth. But she was a crack addict so.....
  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    edited July 2014
    I loved my doula. She was my prenatal yoga instructor and she had such a maternal, warm, comforting presence. I always felt so relaxed and peaceful after our yoga class and I wanted that during labour. I am so glad I did.... it made such a difference. First time around I did not have one. I would love to have her again this time. My poor dh just annoyed me in labor. He was trying hard though so I couldn't really tell him that, I didn't want to make him feel bad or ruin his experience. He probably thought it was a little weird that I was holding hands with my doula instead of him. 
  • I know I've got a shipload of UO fodder but I'm trying to space it all out over the weeks
  • @BookitBoo‌ my mom called me peanut butter and princess lol...I just call my daughter my little bug...no idea why but it's stuck lol- everyone else refers to her as the princess though
  • edited July 2014
    I've always rolled my eyes at the whole "she's a princess" thing for little girls... No particular feminist reasoning behind it necessarily, although I will say that's not much to aspire to for a young lady..."Princess" being a title one gets by being born or marrying into...so yay?.... but ultimately I just find it annoying.

    Don't get me wrong, I see the appeal because of the fantasy of living in a pretty castle in a pretty dress... but... it should just remain a fantasy and I think some people just take it too far sometimes, or reference it too much

    I could also be jaded over the fact that to this day my H's 33 year old cousin still refers to herself as a "Princess" so she gets what she wants!  According to H that started ever since she was born pretty much and she's always been overly spoiled.

    So maybe just the fact that she annoys me when she says that has ruined the word "princess" for me.  I don't know.  I know this isn't always the case.

    When I was little I liked princesses and Disney movies, but I don't think I was ever called that as a nickname 

    Cat leg goes crazy and beats itself in the face

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  • BookitBoo said:
    My UO: don't think I'll ever understand people who are so hung up on having a boy or girl. One woman just found out she was having a boy (their second) and complained about it. She tagged on a 'at least baby is healthy...' but...man. That made me sad. And the one girl who 'jokingly' said she hoped she'd have a girl because boys are gross. 
    ---snip---
    I would have been disappointed this go around if we were told it was a boy. My reasons:

    1) I am one of 6 kids, 4 of which are boys. I'm surrounded by BO.
    2) My husband's family has zero girls in it if you don't count MIL and her wacko sister. 
    3) I also fell in love with our girl name choice so much that I wanted to use it and was going to be disappointed if it went to waste. 
    4) And since we already have 1 daughter, we have A LOT of clothes ready to be worn (some still with tags on them). 
    5) I want my daughter to have a sister she can possibly have a "sisterly bond" with since I wanted it so bad and never got it. My step-sister is 10 years younger than me and it was just too much of a gap.

    I'm not expecting my reasons to help you understand it any more but it is what it is and thought I would share. If it turned out to be a boy, I wouldn't have loved him any less.That being said, I certainly wouldn't openly complain about it. 
    Stephanie Ella ~ 6/15/2012
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  • karla1301karla1301 member
    edited July 2014
    I completely agree that bedding sets are a complete waste of money. I knitted my son a blanket that he will have in his crib this winter and we stuck to solid bed sheets that match his room.
    I agree with this, the bedding sets are unnecessary (although cute!!).  Crib bumpers are said to be a no no anyway (due to suffocation issues).   As an FYI, for safety babies are not supposed to sleep with blankets for a while (due to it causing issues with breathing) just in case you were thinking of using it to cover baby up when he/she naps or sleeps at night.  To keep babies warm, those wearable blankets are quite a bit safer (sort of like a sack with arms).  We had blankets that we used when DD was awake and just sitting in her bouncy chair or asleep but with us (like in the living room or something) but definitely not any for when she slept in her crib.

    ETA:  added a word

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  • I just don't get it. There are plenty of people who suffer disappointment when finding out the sex, but I think I'm immune to it because I'd like a bigger family so I have 'more time' and opportunity? I don't know.

    People keep asking if I want a girl, and I really don't know what to say in a polite way. I really only want a healthy baby; I couldn't care less what equipment the baby is born with.

    I don't think people who want X and get Y are bad parents or love their kids any less. I just can't understand it...but all of these reasons make sense.
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  • I think I've mentioned this before on here. I don't understand being disappointed in the sex of the baby. However; for me at least, this is my last baby. I've got 3 boys already. I really really want a daughter. I can see being disappointed in finding out I'm having another boy, but not because it's a boy, but because I'll never have a daughter.
    I know I can keep going on having kids to try for a girl, but I find that silly too.

    If I have another boy, that's fine, I'll love him just like I do with my other boys.
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