January 2015 Moms

Toddler/restaurant rant

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Re: Toddler/restaurant rant

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  • kaybeeknitskaybeeknits member
    edited June 2014
  • @ghostof5letters - I never said she mentioned the kid running around. I was pointing out that ways in which my siblings and I were expected to behave at restaurants.

    @BookitBoo - I don't have children. I don't need a child to know how I will handle my future one screaming in public. He or she will be promptly removed to a private place and calmed down. I realize every parent is different and each has their own way of dealing with their children. What seems right to me may not be right for another parent and that's ok.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @motherboy - "What seems right to me may not be right for another parent and that's ok."

    Did you not read my last sentence or did you choose to ignore it? Did I say I would be a better parent? NO! I even pointed out that my parenting style may not be ok for/work for another parent!! We are all different people with different opinions! I'm sure I will allow my child to do something or act a certain way that others won't agree with, and again THAT'S OK!
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @motherboy - "What seems right to me may not be right for another parent and that's ok."

    Did you not read my last sentence or did you choose to ignore it? Did I say I would be a better parent? NO! I even pointed out that my parenting style may not be ok for/work for another parent!! We are all different people with different opinions! I'm sure I will allow my child to do something or act a certain way that others won't agree with, and again THAT'S OK!

    Are you the one judging parents who gave the kid an ipad? If not; then calm your tits because I was responding to OP not you. And take it easy on the exclamation points sheesh.

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • @motherboy - "What seems right to me may not be right for another parent and that's ok."

    Did you not read my last sentence or did you choose to ignore it? Did I say I would be a better parent? NO! I even pointed out that my parenting style may not be ok for/work for another parent!! We are all different people with different opinions! I'm sure I will allow my child to do something or act a certain way that others won't agree with, and again THAT'S OK!
    Slow your roll buddy. Way over reacting here. 
    image
  • It boggles my mind how many parents here feel like they can let their child act any way they want to without concern on the effects of others around them.  I dont understand why you think I should have to pay lots of money at a FINE dining establishment to be able to expect a peaceful meal.

    My mom and DH's mom didnt let us act up or cry excessively in restaurants.  My sister doesnt let her son.  Its not unreasonable. 

    Me: 34    DH: 28.  Married Jan 2012.  Started TTC Jan 2014.  Got our first BFP April 28th. Baby Boy Born: December 24 2014


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

                                                                                            
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  • Yes because the answer is to "simply soothe" the kid and he/she will certainly stop, otherwise you're a shitty parent.  Easy as pie.  For every toddler.  And don't dare use an electronic device because again...shitty parent. 

    Guess what... my difficult toddler with 50000 volts of constant energy laughs in your face.  Most the time he's perfectly good in restaurants but you know what, he has his moments like all kids and it can be unpredictible... and we do our best to deal... but we still get the stink eye and can't win by judgy people who have no clue what it's like to parent my child.

    Sometimes trying to intervene with the usual soothing tactics exacerbates it and makes it worse, sometimes the electronic device is the only thing that works, sometimes Jupiter aligns with our moon strangely and the kid flips a switch for no reason, sometimes you've had a long fucking day and you're burnt the hell out so your "perfect parenting" mode is broken.....sometimes you just CAN'T control your child for 10 of your precious minutes.... a million different scenarios, and you have no clue.  Ultimate moral of the story, get over it and I guess just be glad it's not you.

    Judging is pointless because it's not your kid, not your situation, and you have no clue what has gone on in that family's life that day.  Judging other people's parenting in general (unless it's an obvious straight up danger to the child) is always a fucked up thing to do.  We're all just doing our best and the last thing we need is to worry about Mommy Wars.

    Should kids be in fancier adult restaurants? No.  Should the parent remove the kid if they're acting up in excess? Yes.  I personally have not encountered a scenario where a kid is straight up screaming for 10 minutes without a parent taking them out.... color me shocked if that actually happens because I've never seen it.  Not sure if I'm buying it.  If so though...well, it will probably be a rare annoyance in your life and you should be able to move on unscathed.... it's not something to paint a wide brush over as if there's a whole bunch of us "shitty" parents out there.

    Ultimately...If you're going to a family restaurant you're going to encounter families...all different kinds, with all different needs and temperaments.  Suck it up or you're welcome to stay home with takeout. 
    All of this. Yes!!!!
    image
    Me: 33 DH: 31
    DD: 10 (born August 2004)
    Married 03/01/14
    TTC#2
    BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
    BFP: 01/31/15 MMC: 02/25/15 





  • @YaMrWhite - How do I know my parenting style? Not sure I really understand the question, but I guess I have a pretty clear understanding of what my parenting style will be because I'm basing it on certain things my parents taught me and the ways in which I was taught. I know my children will be taught to say please and thank you because it's polite, they will also address adults with respect (use mam and sir), they will be taught to clean up after themselves...among many other things.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I also have a question.  Who are these magical children that calm down when taken outside of a restaurant ?  Because if they are screaming inside a restaurant, they will probably scream out there too.  What if people are waiting outside too or what if people stare at you because they think you are stealing a kid ?  

    Do you take them to the car ?  What if they scream  in the car ?  Do you stay with them in the car only to let your ears bleed ?  Do you wait outside the car only to have strangers give you the side eye for leaving your screaming kid in a car by themselves ?  Do you walk around the parking lot ?  What if your kid wants to run around said parking lot and throws a fit when you try to get them to hold your hand or you have to physcially hold them  ?  What if they start to kick you in the stomach because they want to run around or want to go back in the restaurant ?  I'm sure strangers won't be giving you looks for carrying around a kicking screaming toddler  in a busy parking lot ?  OR what if they are just hungry ?  What if you are also pregnant and just don't feel like carrying your kid around a busy parking lot all while they are kicking you in the stomach.  

    See, these are the joys of toddlers.  Not all toddlers, because I know some of us here have angels, but others are not so lucky.  These are the things I never thought about until I was actually put in the position of having an unruly toddler.  I always thought, " Oh, I am going to be the most polite and considerate person wherever I go."  Well sometimes kids have a way of throwing a wrench in your plans.  Hey, we were doing great when it was DD.  She listened and we knew how to handle her.  We thought " Hey, we are pretty good.  We have this parenting thing down.  We should have another." and God said "Challenge Accepted."  Then we had DS and Oh, my.  What a difference.  Now I know and understand.  We got lucky the first time around.  It wasn't our parenting skills, it was just her disposition.  That is all I am going to say.  

    My point is that sometimes there are no easy choices and you will probably get judged whether your kid is screaming inside a restaurant, screaming inside your car or screaming and kicking while walking around a parking lot.  There are no perfect moms, and most of us are doing the best that we can.  
    I love you.
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  • LOL, Ok I give up trying to share my opinion. I knew better before I hit the post reply button the first time.
    :)>-
    BabyFetus Ticker
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