I literally just don't take my toddler to restaurants. I don't mind people that do and I don't judge anyone for the way they deal with toddler meltdowns but I also don't understand people that say "they'll never learn if you don't take them out to eat" DD1 was always well behaved in restaurants, she loved to color and have conversation and she loved eating -we lucked out with her. DD2 was just very hyper active- she wanted to run around the restaurant, play under the table, talk to random strangers and she would also throw fits. Taking her to restaurants was not my idea of a good time so we just quit doing it from age 1 1/2 till maybe 6 months ago. Now she's just about 4 and when we take her out to eat she behaves perfectly fine in a restaurant -despite never going as a toddler. DS is almost 2 and behaves well in public 90% of the time EXCEPT in restaurants. He just can't sit at a table waiting for food at his age with his energy level. I'm sure he'll do fine when he's older.
You know what, people like, I actually hope you get a difficult to soothe child next time. That is so mean of me, but for real, you have no idea what it's like to be that mom. You have no idea what they are dealing with. Get over yourself and your ideals of what parents should and shouldn't do. It's mothers like you that perpetuate the judgement that continues to plague mothers. We are all moms, and we are all just doing the best we can.
I so love this. My child was difficult for the first 8 years of her life and is slowwwly becoming better behaved (at age 11). It drives me crazy when people judge parents for their children's behavior or say stuff like, "If my kid does that, I just give them the eye and they zip it!"... well good for you, you have a child who doesn't like to ruffle any feathers- my kid likes to switch things up a bit and push any and all buttons she can find. Some people have no fucking clue what it's like to have a child that is hell bent on doing whatever they want. Come back when your well-behaved child gets a sibling that acts like the spawn of satan.
That is how I view it. It is why I could not use it. I do not judge you for using it. I'm sorry that you take my words that way. Perhaps I am not the best at expressing my views. My thoughts on it are, we should agree to disagree. I am sure you love your children and are doing what you think is best. There are many many different parenting methods/tools out there. Just because one works for you, doesnt mean it works for me.
If admitting that I said something emotionally is backpedalling, then yes, I backpedalled. It does remind me of a dog to see a child on a leash. I find it more humorous than dehumanizing.
I hate when people say never say never to people, especially when it comes to parenting. There are some things in life to which we can say never and be accurate.
Hey - if you want to make child leashes your hill to die on - great good for you.
I will save my "I will nevers" for things like leaving my kid in a parked car on a 100 degree day.
Oh and the leash thing is ridiculous. Definitely not using that for my current or future toddler.
Eta: more power to you if you use it. I just could never keep a straight face. I feel like it is equating your child with a dog.
never say never my friend
This is one I can definitely say never. My son is nearly three. I can guarantee we will not use one for him. I hold my son's hand in public. Carry him if need be. Put him I. The shopping cart. Leave. Plenty if options which don't include dehumanizing my child.
that's great. I am glad it worked for you. For some it doesn't. Doesn't mean they are dehumanizing them. If it keeps a child safe, why do you care? I held my kid's hand one day becasue it was a busy day and there were no more carts. I had a basket in one hand and him in the other. And guess what, he wiggled his hand out of mine, dodged around some displays, and was faster then I was, I lost him down an aisle and couldn't find him for 10 minutes. Want to know where I found him? The parking lot. So what is worse, a kid with a monkey on his back or a kid being hit by a car?
I don't really care if you answer this- I never had to use a leash because that day he got a giant swat on the ass and he never did that again (you can go ahead and judge for spanking too- that was something I swore I would NEVER do, but whatever) but after that day I considered it.
So good for you for never using a leash or even considering it. I'm glad you never had to go through the absolute terror of losing your son and finding him 3 steps away from being hit by a car.
ETA Mobile quote fail and break between quote and post
I don't care if you use a leash! I have said that so many times I feel like a broken record. I am sorry you had to go through that experience, and I also would have swatted my child on the rear for that! We spank in this household when the behavior being exhibited could cause harm (running to the street, playing with the stove, etc.). We also spank if no other form of discipline will catch his attention.
I'm not sure where the leash part of the thread started, but as much as I used the judge people who use them, there are some kids who will bolt as soon as they are let free. Mine aren't that way, but they do have leashes. My kids saw them at a resale shop and I gave in. I have yet to use the leash part, but they like the thing buckled to them until they were too big to fit into it.
Oh and the leash thing is ridiculous. Definitely not using that for my current or future toddler.
Eta: more power to you if you use it. I just could never keep a straight face. I feel like it is equating your child with a dog.
never say never my friend
This is one I can definitely say never. My son is nearly three. I can guarantee we will not use one for him. I hold my son's hand in public. Carry him if need be. Put him I. The shopping cart. Leave. Plenty if options which don't include dehumanizing my child.
that's great. I am glad it worked for you. For some it doesn't. Doesn't mean they are dehumanizing them. If it keeps a child safe, why do you care? I held my kid's hand one day becasue it was a busy day and there were no more carts. I had a basket in one hand and him in the other. And guess what, he wiggled his hand out of mine, dodged around some displays, and was faster then I was, I lost him down an aisle and couldn't find him for 10 minutes. Want to know where I found him? The parking lot. So what is worse, a kid with a monkey on his back or a kid being hit by a car?
I don't really care if you answer this- I never had to use a leash because that day he got a giant swat on the ass and he never did that again (you can go ahead and judge for spanking too- that was something I swore I would NEVER do, but whatever) but after that day I considered it.
So good for you for never using a leash or even considering it. I'm glad you never had to go through the absolute terror of losing your
son and finding him 3 steps away from being hit by a car.
ETA Mobile quote fail and break between quote and post
I don't care if you use a leash! I have said that so many times I feel like a broken record. I am sorry you had to go through that experience, and I also would have swatted my child on the rear for that! We spank in this household when the behavior being exhibited could cause harm (running to the street, playing with the stove, etc.). We also spank if no other form of discipline will catch his attention.
1. I never had to use a leash because he never did it again, I lucked out. I said I considered it and I am not against them.
2. I find it interstesting that you are so anti leashes, but you are meh to spanking.
3. I am assuming you are going to have another child. Just remember what may have worked for your first, may not work for your next. My best friend was anti leash, anti this and anti that. She went off about how she was able to raise her kid without doing any of THOSE things. And then she had her second child. A child who was 100% the complete opposite of her first. A kid who basically looked at her and her thoughts on parenting and said, "challenge accepted".
I said, never say never because you just NEVER know. Unless you are not going to have ANY more children and you have miraculously gotten through this stage, you just never know what you are going to get the next time around.
Good luck to you and I hope you never have to go through losing a kid in a store. I really do. It sucks. But it was on that day, that I decided that everything I thought I knew about parenting was wrong and from now on I would take it one day at a time and one decision at a time.
I just want to say this is the GREATEST post ever. Next time I have an awful day with my spirited, high energy three year old I will come on here and read this post for it's actual endless encouragement on those tough tough days.
Also, just an aside but I love this statement "my mother never let me act like that" as if one remembers toddlerhood wonderful. Thanks, ladies! Toddlers are tough but man they are fun!
I am not an 'anti leash' person. I do not tell others not to use them. I just don't use them myself. Because I got emotional and used a hot button adjective I am now seen as someone I am not. I get it , I can't take words back.
What do leashes and spanking have in common, anyway?
I am not an 'anti leash' person. I do not tell others not to use them. I just don't use them myself. Because I got emotional and used a hot button adjective I am now seen as someone I am not. I get it , I can't take words back.
What do leashes and spanking have in common, anyway?
Because you are basically saying you won't tie a monkey on his back to keep him from running and "keep him safe" , but you are willing to hit him to keep him from the stove to "keep him safe"
Still not seeing a correlation. If my son was a runner, and he was truly being endangered by me not using a leash, I could see your point. But he isn't. I am not putting my child in danger because he isn't on a leash.
Are leashes common where you live? They are not here. I've seen maybe three kids on a leash in my entire life. That also influences my opinion.
The BFing picture comes across as suggestive to me. I can't tell if you're trying to glamorize it or AW yourself or what. It's just....odd.
It's annoying to me because it's so obviously done to push buttons. I think she likes getting a rise out of people.
The big ol' boob isn't obnoxious, but that smug look of self-satisfaction is.
Sorry I don't know how to snip it...
Maybe it doesn't bother me just because I know it would get a rise out of people. *shurgs* I never really even noticed the face or studied it. I saw BFing and thought "Lucky B!tch it worked for her," and I just scroll past it and don't think about it.
Also, with the hits this post is getting, I'm waiting for random boards to start doing "lolz I was here." posts instead of actually commenting anything relate to the thread...
Still not seeing a correlation. If my son was a runner, and he was truly being endangered by me not using a leash, I could see your point. But he isn't. I am not putting my child in danger because he isn't on a leash.
Are leashes common where you live? They are not here. I've seen maybe three kids on a leash in my entire life. That also influences my opinion.
This kid may not be a runner, but your next might be. You just never know.
I never said you aren't putting your kid in danger. You are fortunate it worked out. What I said from the beginning is never say never, because although this kid may happily oblige and hold your hand, your next one may not. It works better when you are just open to various methods.
I see some people with leashes, not a ton, but some. Mostly at places like the zoo, airports, and the mall. they aren't hugely popular, but they are around. And my thought is, if that's what the parent needs to keep their kid safe, then good for them.
The BFing picture comes across as suggestive to me. I can't tell if you're trying to glamorize it or AW yourself or what. It's just....odd.
It's annoying to me because it's so obviously done to push buttons. I think she likes getting a rise out of people.
The big ol' boob isn't obnoxious, but that smug look of self-satisfaction is.
Sorry I don't know how to snip it...
Maybe it doesn't bother me just because I know it would get a rise out of people. *shurgs* I never really even noticed the face or studied it. I saw BFing and thought "Lucky B!tch it worked for her," and I just scroll past it and don't think about it.
I hadn't thought twice about it either until a friend from a precious BMB was lurking ours and asked me about it. I had to go look to see and then had the "huh" moment.
I've never even thought I looked "smug" in that pic. I think it's more likely that you just don't like me. I was pretty relaxed and happy for that shoot, one of my best friends was the photographers and it was her idea to capture the nursing moment.
This is how I feel. Just because I don't do it myself doesn't mean I look down at those who do.
ETA: I guess it didn't work. This is what she that I wanted to highlight: And my thought is, if that's what the parent needs to keep their kid safe, then good for them
I've never even thought I looked "smug" in that pic. I think it's more likely that you just don't like me. I was pretty relaxed and happy for that shoot, one of my best friends was the photographers and it was her idea to capture the nursing moment.
The BFing picture comes across as suggestive to me. I can't tell if you're trying to glamorize it or AW yourself or what. It's just....odd.
It's annoying to me because it's so obviously done to push buttons. I think she likes getting a rise out of people.
The big ol' boob isn't obnoxious, but that smug look of self-satisfaction is.
I don't quite get it. I BF my 20month old, not something I feel I need to get a photo of outside posing. I brushed it off as a a strong BF supporter possibly crunchy mom. After this thread I would not be surprised if it was with the intent to button push. Which if that were the case, I feel sad. People should not feel bad on their choice to feed.
Trying to get a rise... Ya think? I tend to agree with that assumption
User Banned
You have been banned from posting on the forums until 01-11-2165 8:18 AM. The reason for this ban is Inappropriate Links or Signature. Please return to participate in the forums after the ban has elapsed.
The BFing picture comes across as suggestive to me. I can't tell if you're trying to glamorize it or AW yourself or what. It's just....odd.
It's annoying to me because it's so obviously done to push buttons. I think she likes getting a rise out of people.
The big ol' boob isn't obnoxious, but that smug look of self-satisfaction is.
I don't quite get it. I BF my 20month old, not something I feel I need to get a photo of outside posing. I brushed it off as a a strong BF supporter possibly crunchy mom. After this thread I would not be surprised if it was with the intent to button push. Which if that were the case, I feel sad. People should not feel bad on their choice to feed.
I have been reformed! next time I take DS (22months) out to a restaurant and he screams bloody murder as soon as I try to seat him I will sternly tell him he is being "unreasonable" oh and this baby better not be an "excessive" crier ....OR ELSE!
My DH is also convinced that his parents never let him throw tantrums (even in the house) but I know from conversations with my MIL that he is sadly mistaken...his parents were strict with him but I often point out to him that he has virtually no memories of his life before age 4. Most people don't.
My mother never let me throw tantrums...I was very well behaved...but that was because she would beat me for acting like a normal child.
I never used a child harness until the day I made a trip to the pharmacy by myself with #1 (who was about 2.5) and #2 who I was carrying in his infant carrier. I had the diaper bag on my shoulder and the infant carrier in one arm, and was holding #2's hand with my other hand. In that split second that I had to let go of his hand to turn the door knob (no automatic doors at this pharmacy) he darted straight for the busy road. The pharmacy sits at the top of a hill where the cars come flying up and can't see the top of the hill. I had to quickly sit the infant carrier down on the sidewalk beside my car (where my friend, one of the employees could keep an eye on the baby) to run after the older one. That day, he got a spanking in the parking lot, and a monkey backpack. It is a whole different ballgame with two to keep ahold of.
Re: bf sig, since it came up, the sig annoys me too, sorry. I wish it didn't and I'm all for destigmatizing BFing, but I just don't need to see that much of any stranger's breast 3000 times. If it was just in a single thread or a single post on FB or something I'd be like ok cool, fine. But being in every single thread it's just overkill and also semi NSFW for those who might be reading at work or in a public place. I was actually wondering if there is a way to hide specific people's sigs. I'd hate to hide the chick altogether bc who wants to miss the drama!
Aaaaaand this is why I didn't click it yet. I figured something like that to make me puke or it was horrible grammar and the person didn't care enough to fix it when it was in the title... Yeeeeaaaah No.
This is completely off topic, but as I was scrolling through and had to keep seeing OP's signature about running a marathon over and over and over, I couldn't resist posting this:
(Don't get me wrong, I have many friends who have ran marathons and I'm super impressed with their accomplishments. I just had to throw in this for OP)
When you train that hard for something, it's something you are proud of. I've run 3, and I met my sub 4 goal on my last one. I can't run them anymore because of knee surgeries. I miss it. FTR, I never shit my pants running though.
FWIW: I had to log on to my comp to see what all the fuss was about. IMO the reason your BF picture comes off as smug rather than relaxed or content or whatever is because you can't see either of your faces. It makes the entire picture more of a tableau/advertisement for the act of breastfeeding rather than a sweet family portrait.
The rest of your pictures show your face really clearly and not your baby. And then the pic that you cropped the baby entirely out of the photo...
IDK, that may just be me. It's your sig, do what you want. I don't really care either way. Boobs don't offend me, but I prefer to see cute baby faces rather than 1/3 of a baby face or a baby hand flailing from a cropped body/head.
Re: Toddler/restaurant rant
I so love this. My child was difficult for the first 8 years of her life and is slowwwly becoming better behaved (at age 11). It drives me crazy when people judge parents for their children's behavior or say stuff like, "If my kid does that, I just give them the eye and they zip it!"... well good for you, you have a child who doesn't like to ruffle any feathers- my kid likes to switch things up a bit and push any and all buttons she can find. Some people have no fucking clue what it's like to have a child that is hell bent on doing whatever they want. Come back when your well-behaved child gets a sibling that acts like the spawn of satan.
Hey - if you want to make child leashes your hill to die on - great good for you.
I will save my "I will nevers" for things like leaving my kid in a parked car on a 100 degree day.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
that's great. I am glad it worked for you. For some it doesn't. Doesn't mean they are dehumanizing them. If it keeps a child safe, why do you care? I held my kid's hand one day becasue it was a busy day and there were no more carts. I had a basket in one hand and him in the other. And guess what, he wiggled his hand out of mine, dodged around some displays, and was faster then I was, I lost him down an aisle and couldn't find him for 10 minutes. Want to know where I found him? The parking lot. So what is worse, a kid with a monkey on his back or a kid being hit by a car?
I don't really care if you answer this- I never had to use a leash because that day he got a giant swat on the ass and he never did that again (you can go ahead and judge for spanking too- that was something I swore I would NEVER do, but whatever) but after that day I considered it.
So good for you for never using a leash or even considering it. I'm glad you never had to go through the absolute terror of losing your
ETA Mobile quote fail and break between quote and postson and finding him 3 steps away from being hit by a car.
I don't care if you use a leash! I have said that so many times I feel like a broken record. I am sorry you had to go through that experience, and I also would have swatted my child on the rear for that! We spank in this household when the behavior being exhibited could cause harm (running to the street, playing with the stove, etc.). We also spank if no other form of discipline will catch his attention.
1. I never had to use a leash because he never did it again, I lucked out. I said I considered it and I am not against them.
2. I find it interstesting that you are so anti leashes, but you are meh to spanking.
3. I am assuming you are going to have another child. Just remember what may have worked for your first, may not work for your next. My best friend was anti leash, anti this and anti that. She went off about how she was able to raise her kid without doing any of THOSE things. And then she had her second child. A child who was 100% the complete opposite of her first. A kid who basically looked at her and her thoughts on parenting and said, "challenge accepted".
I said, never say never because you just NEVER know. Unless you are not going to have ANY more children and you have miraculously gotten through this stage, you just never know what you are going to get the next time around.
Good luck to you and I hope you never have to go through losing a kid in a store. I really do. It sucks. But it was on that day, that I decided that everything I thought I knew about parenting was wrong and from now on I would take it one day at a time and one decision at a time.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
K- born 7/5/2011
G- born 6/24/2013
What do leashes and spanking have in common, anyway?
The big ol' boob isn't obnoxious, but that smug look of self-satisfaction is.

<p align="center"Because you are basically saying you won't tie a monkey on his back to keep him from running and "keep him safe" , but you are willing to hit him to keep him from the stove to "keep him safe"
Its just a bit hypocritical. But whatever.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
Are leashes common where you live? They are not here. I've seen maybe three kids on a leash in my entire life. That also influences my opinion.
This kid may not be a runner, but your next might be. You just never know.
I never said you aren't putting your kid in danger. You are fortunate it worked out. What I said from the beginning is never say never, because although this kid may happily oblige and hold your hand, your next one may not. It works better when you are just open to various methods.
I see some people with leashes, not a ton, but some. Mostly at places like the zoo, airports, and the mall. they aren't hugely popular, but they are around. And my thought is, if that's what the parent needs to keep their kid safe, then good for them.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
I hadn't thought twice about it either until a friend from a precious BMB was lurking ours and asked me about it. I had to go look to see and then had the "huh" moment.

<p align="center"https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12375331/spicy-it-up#latest
Omg I didn't see this thread. Really 8-|
K- born 7/5/2011
G- born 6/24/2013
When you train that hard for something, it's something you are proud of. I've run 3, and I met my sub 4 goal on my last one. I can't run them anymore because of knee surgeries. I miss it. FTR, I never shit my pants running though.
DSS: 15 DS: 7
DD born 1/3/15
You just do you, darling.
What the what?? Did you just refer to preferences to use harnesses or spanking as tools to parent CHILDREN as a reference to BDSM?
Uh. Yes..... I use a harness on my TODDLER.... Because I like BDSM.
That is fucking gross of you.