Longest Thread EVER! (aka Random Thoughts Thread )

fireflygirl12 · May 2014

I second what @nolalinz said. The pressure to breastfeed makes people feel so incredibly guilty for situations that they can't control and it gives me the sads. You can really only do what your body allows and sometimes formula feeding really is the best option for Mom and LO. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! You are obviously going to do what's best for LO, which makes you an amazing mom! All the hugs.

RocksInTheWater · May 2014

poru said:

I am nursing and watching a gigantic spider walk across the floor and there is nothing I can do about it.

I just got the shivers reading this comment!

RocksInTheWater · May 2014

@dani+california, the others have said it very well but I'll reiterate that you are NOT a horrible mother! You need to do what works best and there is nothing wrong with FF. I hope you don't stay away from TB for too long. You will definitely be missed!

hlm184 · May 2014

It is 95 outside and the ac is out. Booo.

Bluebird2318 · May 2014

Dani, everyone else has said it already, but I'm sorry that you're having a hard time! Formula feeding is not a bad thing. Sometimes it's the best option there is. As much as I valued BFing/pumping, the day I finally gave up struggling with my supply (a process of many months) in favor of formula feeding DD worked wonders on my mental and emotional state. I don't regret making that decision for a moment. You are a great mother no matter how you feed your baby. We will miss you around here! Hope you are able to regroup and come back to us!

mrscrcalli · May 2014

KendraColeslaw said:
Ellie has been awake and needy since 10:00, so I'm still in bed with no shirt on and I haven't eaten. As soon as she falls asleep I'm destroying the kitchen.

@KendraColeslaw‌
two nights in a row you've been in my dreams! Wtf are you doing there?

3 hours of sleep a night and you cameo that's serious business babe
$:\$ ">

mrscrcalli · May 2014

Dani a tex is comin your way sweet cheeks!

snmetz7 · May 2014

fourthnlast said:

fireflygirl12 said:

What did people do when they breastfed before TV/internet? It's sooooooo boring.

No shit! Also, i love my DVR SOOOO much now that I'm up at all hours of the night

We just got cable for the first time in 6 years lol.

thomas930 · May 2014

@dani big hugs, I'll miss seeing you around and hope you are back to us soon.

@P&B715 hope you get better soon. T&P's

Ashleypixie · May 2014

@dani+california‌ , you are an amazing person so I don't think you could ever be anything less than an amazing mother. You are feeling the same thing as many of us are feeling and making a decision that many of us are also making, so please don't be so hard on yourself. When my son was born, nothing seemed like it was going the way I had planned, I beat myself up about EVERYTHING, and honestly regretted having him. It got better, but those first weeks, and probably months are HARD. It has nothing to do about you as a mother. It gets better, all things get better. We're all here for you when you need it.

Serenla · May 2014

P&B715 said:
I usually don't ask, but I could really use some T&P, I've been sick on and off since delivery, it feels like it's at it's worst now, because they put me on medication where I have to stop pumping or pump and dump. DH and I discussed it and we are just switching over to formula feed only. Hopefully this will take some of the stress out with not having to pump and it'll help me recovery faster.

((Hugs)) feel better soon.

Tferr02 · May 2014

Life is hard with a 2 year old brother

nicole mackenzie · May 2014

@dani+california‌

I don't think you're a negative person and don't mind you coming here to vent. I feel like most of my posts are pretty negative.

I think that a lot of us are having a hard time right now. This is hard!

Do what you need to do for your sanity, and your health. LO is fed and that's what's important as others have said.

nicole mackenzie · May 2014

Congrats @Vinny424‌ !!!

spano41 · May 2014

Today was the first day that I actually had time to get bored. I might be getting the hang of this mom stuff (knock on wood)! Tonight DH is going to a base ball game with friends and I'm a little jealous but I am taking the opportunity to enjoy a beer while watching bad tv.

kseccomb17 · May 2014

I look like complete shit. Vs sweats and zip up hoodie, smell like milk, hair all crazy on top of my head, no shower in two days and DH told me I look hot driving his truck. Maybe I've been overmedicating him on his pain pills, but shit, I'll take it and accept it with everything I have

pineconey · May 2014

So the people who signed up to bring us dinner just bailed on us. It's after 4. If they would have said something sooner I could have thrown a freezer meal in the oven (takes like 2 1/2 hours to cook). But DS is currently in the middle of another cluster feed from hell so I can't do much right now. We have zero groceries because we thought we were set for the week. It's totally a FWP, but that's kind of a shitty thing to do to new parents....

pineconey · May 2014

Also: mom needs a beer.
I haven't taken oxy all day just so I could have one.

snowbound · May 2014

Am I crazy or does my LO snore a lot? It's super cute.

Ashleypixie · May 2014

I'm looking for some not baby related opinions here. We are under contract with this couple who plan to buy our house. They had their inspector come the other day and whatever. They then presented us with a long list of things they'd like to see done before closing. Like, have the house painted, and "clean the gutters and general maintenance that has been completely ignored." And that the quality of repairs and renovations seem questionable. One of the things they want us to do is put in some kind of allergy filtration system and dehumidifier that will cost a couple thousand dollars. Because they have allergies and it's somehow our problem, apparently. They don't want to wait until closing, they want this to all be done immediately despite the fact that we don't have that kind of money just sitting around! Is this part of selling a house or am I being completely unreasonable for just wanting to terminate the contract just because I think they are ass holes? I didn't even get into the whole ridiculous offers/counter offers that went on before this where they basically tried to bleed us dry. Our house is actually really nice and we have a lot of interest still, but we're also desperate to sell. What would you do?

Ashleypixie · May 2014

That's what I thought too, I don't care how bad their allergies are it's not a safety issue. But DH and my realtor keep trying to work with them and compromise. I don't even want to fix the things that actually ARE safety issues because I think they are dicks. Hell, I wish we had mold. The flesh eating kind. So I can be like, "ha ha, Shit brains."

PoppySeedWindsor · May 2014

Thought of everyone a lot today. I think we're all pretty amazing for tackling motherhood!

I had a job interview today, too for a writing position at a magazine. I think the interview went really well and it's for a pretty sweet position that'd enable me to work from home. I think I'll say yes if I am offered the position. After being unemployed/self employed since July it feels really good to even be considered. I've really missed writing.

In other news, I have zits. Everywhere but my face. On my butt, legs, neck (Yeah..NECK ZIT!). I know I'm all like uber womany having just given birth and being a breastfeeding machine but I feel anything but feminine. I sweated through the dress I wore to my interview in the pits, stomach, knee pits, thighs and back.

Sigh. <3s to everyone. Please tap the keg and pass a cup...

PoppySeedWindsor · May 2014

Thanks @ColleenSwerb!!

Ashleypixie · May 2014

Whoa!! Our little town square has this food festival tonight, and we live right around the corner. I didn't shut my shades and I'm sitting here in the corner breast feeding and looking like shit NOT realizing that people have been walking by and can see me in the window. You are welcome for the show, everyone. Oops.

pineconey · May 2014

Beer acquired.

PoppySeedWindsor · May 2014

@AshleyPixie I boob flashed the street gang of teenagers this morning. I thought immediately of Mean Girls:

"Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw nipple."

Hang in there mama!

Ashleypixie · May 2014

jellysparkles said:

@Ashleypixie‌ - If you're under contract, aren't you only obligated to do the stuff that's a safety code issue? I mean, when we were buying we requested everything our realtor thought we might be able to get, but the sellers didn't do everything we asked for. They did take care of putting in some railings and mold in the basement, but nothing as optional as air filtration or maintenance stuff.
This. We didn't get 3/4 of the stuff we listed. I think it's one of those things as a buyer you just try for anything you can get.

They said if we didn't do all of the 37 things on their list (yep, 37) that they would terminate the contract. I suppose if they really want the house they can deal with us not doing most of those things. I'm glad to hear that that's normal then.

fourthnlast · May 2014

celticlullaby said:
((Hugs)) Dani - and everyone having a hard time right now. Duncan is exactly 3 weeks and growth spurting, and I'm exhausted. He eats constantly. I'm a really touchy person, I love cuddling and I even enjoy the toddler crawling all over me. My threshold for having to hold the baby and give up personal space is pretty high - and I almost lost it today. I was just so touched out and I wanted to rip the baby off my boob and lock myself in a room alone. I was seriously angry and resentful. It's normal and ok, and I like that this is a place we can be real about the hard stuff. In my real life, other moms try to outdo me with how much worse their baby was and DH just replies to my slightest complaint by arguing we should FF, when I'm trying to hold out until we get past this tough newborn time. I actually enjoy BFing when I start getting more than 20 minute breaks with a kid off the boob - but it sucks right now. Reading the "negative" stuff is helpful and supportive for me.

And @poru and @ColleenSwerb‌ - your tantrum stories make me feel like it's not just me screwing up, thanks! DS1 has gotten better during the day, but he's turned into a nightmare at bedtime. It's like Jekyll and Hyde, I don't even know what to do with him.

The 3 week growth spurt made me lose my shit. I fucking lost it and totally broke down. I ugly cried, screamed into pillows, it was bad.

PoppySeedWindsor · May 2014

Thanks @Vinny424. You too! You had an interview today, too right?

smushi · May 2014

@ashleypixie That's ridiculous, and I'm sorry you all are even having to entertain such dickish buyers...

In other news, sneezing with a kid on the tit is not fun for either of us. That being said, at least sneezing is no longer the scary painful bottom dropping out experience it was last week.

edoliesmom · May 2014

Owwww! My right boob hurts so bad!

( How do you know if you have thrush? I don't think it's a clogged duct because my nipple and areola feel fine. It's like the lower right half of my boob. My boobs feel warm from being in a bra, so I can't tell if it's feverish feeling or not.

RocksInTheWater · May 2014

Good luck @PoppySeedWindsor! Working from home would be a great gig! What kind of writing do you do?

kseccomb17 · May 2014

May 14 lost a mama. She gave birth to a boy and named him Gavin- just like my son. I couldn't imagine. That poor family.

Emily041285 · May 2014

Had to get out the 3 month clothes today. I'm a little sad about it.

spano41 · May 2014

Why did I think watching My Sisters Keeper would be a good idea? I'm bawling my eyes out over here!

Emily041285 · May 2014

On a more positive note: found out today that we owe nothing for my hospital stay, thanks to meeting my deductible already. And because they billed dd under my name, we don't owe anything for her week long nicu stay either!! My wallet is excited!!

nicole mackenzie · May 2014

celticlullaby said:

Ashleypixie said:

jellysparkles said:

celticlullaby said:
@Ashleypixie‌ - If you're under contract, aren't you only obligated to do the stuff that's a safety code issue? I mean, when we were buying we requested everything our realtor thought we might be able to get, but the sellers didn't do everything we asked for. They did take care of putting in some railings and mold in the basement, but nothing as optional as air filtration or maintenance stuff.

This. We didn't get 3/4 of the stuff we listed. I think it's one of those things as a buyer you just try for anything you can get.

They said if we didn't do all of the 37 things on their list (yep, 37) that they would terminate the contract. I suppose if they really want the house they can deal with us not doing most of those things. I'm glad to hear that that's normal then.

Then they lose their deposit - that's a bluff.

We made a couple requests when we bought our house. Get rid of the mice and bats ...

An air filtration system is not your responsibility. They are just seeing what they can get. If they back out because of that they would Definetly lose their deposit.

Do you have a good realtor? Is there anything on the list he says you legally must do?

fireflygirl12 · May 2014

celticlullaby said:

Ashleypixie said:

jellysparkles said:

celticlullaby said:
@Ashleypixie‌ - If you're under contract, aren't you only obligated to do the stuff that's a safety code issue? I mean, when we were buying we requested everything our realtor thought we might be able to get, but the sellers didn't do everything we asked for. They did take care of putting in some railings and mold in the basement, but nothing as optional as air filtration or maintenance stuff.

This. We didn't get 3/4 of the stuff we listed. I think it's one of those things as a buyer you just try for anything you can get.

They said if we didn't do all of the 37 things on their list (yep, 37) that they would terminate the contract. I suppose if they really want the house they can deal with us not doing most of those things. I'm glad to hear that that's normal then.

Then they lose their deposit - that's a bluff.

Not necessarily. If the offer is subject to an inspection contingency, all 37 items are called out on the report and they awe within the contingency timeframe, then they can terminate and still get their earnest money back. At least that's how it works in WA.

@ashleypixie, I guess it depends on how desperate you are to sell. It's annoying as fuck to deal with buyers like that, but if you don't have any other offers coming in and you want to get out, maybe you're better off just getting it over with?

MadBloom · May 2014

Ashleypixie said:
I'm looking for some not baby related opinions here. We are under contract with this couple who plan to buy our house. They had their inspector come the other day and whatever. They then presented us with a long list of things they'd like to see done before closing. Like, have the house painted, and "clean the gutters and general maintenance that has been completely ignored." And that the quality of repairs and renovations seem questionable. One of the things they want us to do is put in some kind of allergy filtration system and dehumidifier that will cost a couple thousand dollars. Because they have allergies and it's somehow our problem, apparently. They don't want to wait until closing, they want this to all be done immediately despite the fact that we don't have that kind of money just sitting around! Is this part of selling a house or am I being completely unreasonable for just wanting to terminate the contract just because I think they are ass holes? I didn't even get into the whole ridiculous offers/counter offers that went on before this where they basically tried to bleed us dry. Our house is actually really nice and we have a lot of interest still, but we're also desperate to sell. What would you do?

We're in the process of getting our house ready to sell and will be doing very basic things to make it more sellable. We'll paint (there are a few dings in the walls here and there) and we will professionally shampoo the carpets (we have a dog). I would tell the buyers to take a hike if they expected more then that. Sounds like they are taking advantage of you to me.... I mean it's one thing of there is a leaky pipe that needs to be fixed but it's not your responsibility to put in an air system to accommodate THEIR allergies. That should be their added cost, not yours.

Ashleypixie · May 2014

^ that's what the realtor said. He suggested to do some of the things and go halfsies on the bigger stuff, like paint and possibly their stupid air allergy nonsense. We have an offer on a house as well, so thats why we are kind of desperate to just move on. My vote is to throat punch them but I suppose I have to be somewhat reasonable. No violence, no fun.

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