Would you let DH....

crene84 · May 2014

..take LO with him to see family in another state without you? DH is in Louisiana with DD until Sunday. I didn't particularly want him to take her, but felt like it isn't my decision to straight out say no since he's such a hands on father. But I know plenty of women who would not let their husbands take their kids.

I am looking forward to one-on-one bonding time with DS, but already miss DD so much. I feel like a part of me is missing.

Oh, and the reason I didn't go is because having two 14 months apart has exhausted me. DS still isn't STTN (though he's getting close) and I couldn't imagine flying with both of them right now, dealing with all the packing, layovers, etc.

Flamingemu · May 2014

Weren't you the one that didn't want your DH to take her on vacation before?

Flamingemu · May 2014

I understand the missing part. I feel that everytime I travel for work. Knowing that she is with DH usually helps that. Would I 'let' him travel with her and not me. Sure, he is her father. Would I worry the whole time? Of course, that is a natural part of being a mother.

bosha711 · May 2014

I would have anxiety about it b/c I am a control freak, but of course, I would "let" him.

AKB090609 · May 2014

Yep, he can take her where ever he wants.

Hyaline · May 2014

Yes, no questions asked? Who are these women who wouldn't "let" their husbands and the fathers of their children take their kids on a trip? Sorry, but I'm confused on the "letting" part. Of course I would. The question "is it the choice you'd make" seems a little less weird to me, and I get that there are varying viewpoints on that, but for me: I'd actually think it was a great idea for them to get some one-on-one time and to get a little break for myself. I've traveled to another state without him. I don't think the inverse is any different.

tinyhumantoe · May 2014

I wish DH would. He has before. I'd miss her the whole time but would make the most out her absence haha.

PenelopePond · May 2014

Absolutely! As long as he wasn't going somewhere/doing something dangerous I would have no objections.

linzeek44 · May 2014

If DH said he REALLY wanted to take ERy and it was important to him, then of course I'd say "go for it." If he said "I sorta kinda want to take ERy. What do you think?" I'd probably say "can you wait until he has weaned because I don't want to pump."

I went across the country for ten days with E last summer without DH. I'd let him do the same if he wanted to.

AlinnJo · May 2014

Yes I would. Not now just because she's nursing but once she's off the boob, yes. I took her to Florida for a week while he stayed to work. He could do the same.

Bighair12 · May 2014

Dh has taken lo quite a few times away for the weekend. I would have no problem at all.

I don't know if you really should have used the word let.

MRoxy0628 · May 2014

I'll be the lone dissenter (so far) and say its unlikely my husband would take our daughter on a trip alone. At this time it's not a possibility (for the situation you described) as all our family live in state, but even if it were I don't think it would happen. I'm pretty sure I said the same thing the last time the question was asked.

Unknown · May 2014

This content has been removed.

willy_gert · May 2014

DH cannot take DD by himself because of his medical issues. If he didn't have medical issues, I wouldn't have a problem with it, because he is her dad.

My sister will not allow her ex to take her DD's anywhere because he wouldn't bring them back just to spite her.

Unless my sister's situation is the one you are in, which I don't think it is, I would rethink the statement let. Would I miss her? Of course. Would I worry about him parenting her from the Lay-Z-Boy? Of course. But I have confidence that DH would not willingly put her in danger and lets be honest, his family is probably occupying most of her time anyway!

AKB090609 · May 2014

MRoxy0628 said:

I'll be the lone dissenter (so far) and say its unlikely my husband would take our daughter on a trip alone. At this time it's not a possibility (for the situation you described) as all our family live in state, but even if it were I don't think it would happen. I'm pretty sure I said the same thing the last time the question was asked.

I can't see a situation where DH would want to go anywhere with DD alone, but IF he wanted to and I didn't want to go (the case here) I wouldn't try to stop him. I'd be too busy planning all the stuff I could get done at home with both of them and their mess making abilities out of my hair for any length of time.

In all reality I can only think of one time when DH has taken DD anyplace with out me, other than being at home when I'm out.

kelbel527 · May 2014

I don't "let" my husband do anything. We make decisions as a couple and I fully trust his opinions and judgement.

If he wanted to take either of my kids cross country without me, he's more than welcome. Honestly, I'd probably go with because I'm a vacation-fanatic and will use any excuse to fly out of state. But if I really couldn't go and he wanted to go somewhere, he's their Dad and is more than welcome.

watercolor5 · May 2014

Yes, he can take Sophia anywhere, but especially to visit family since family means extra support. Julia can't leave me yet because she's nursing and won't take bottles, but Sophia would do fine without me. I don't think DH would hesitate to take care of either or both of them without me, though he'd ask me a lot of questions before and during, if it was for a few days or more. Of course I would miss my baby(ies) and DH if they were gone without me.

I was still in the national guard when I had Sophia, so I had to leave her with DH when she was about 2 months old for drill weekends- 3 days or so in another city. I missed her, esp since she was so young and my first, but we all survived it, and I'd do it again if I needed to- though I'm thankful I don't.

linzeek44 · May 2014

MRoxy0628 said:

I'll be the lone dissenter (so far) and say its unlikely my husband would take our daughter on a trip alone. At this time it's not a possibility (for the situation you described) as all our family live in state, but even if it were I don't think it would happen. I'm pretty sure I said the same thing the last time the question was asked.

Oh, it's very unlikely DH would ever ask to do this. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any desire to take E by himself for a week, since that wouldn't be relaxing at all.

I just figured if he asked, I'd say yes. But he wouldn't ask. hahaha.

MRoxy0628 · May 2014

@linzeek44‌ @AKB090609 If my husband asked, I'd have a really hard time saying yes. I'm lucky that at this time it's a non-issue. We make decisions regarding Lily together, but I know if one of us was really uncomfortable with something, the other would respect that.

P.s. I tagged you ladies because I couldn't quote you both, but it's not directed only at the two of you.

LyndseylovesHugh · May 2014

I would have no problem with my H taking Audrey somewhere without me. I can't think of a situation at this point where he would be going somewhere without me, but if that situation arose I would have no problem. He is a hands on, responsible, loving father so I would have no reason to worry.

MississippiCatfish · May 2014

I would have a really hard time being away from LO for a whole week. The longest I've gone away is a weekend and I didn't like it by about 24 hours in. If it was really important to him or the family he was visiting, I wouldn't try to stand in his way, but I wouldn't like it at all.

ETA Just want to clarify that DH is a great, hands on dad. He changes his fair share of diapers, handles tantrums, and does bedtime 99% of the time.

misspunky · May 2014

Honestly, I would be very uncomfortable having DH take DD alone for the weekend. I can count on one hand the times he's had to actually parent her alone (without me or my mom or IL's there). He loses his patience with her so quickly and just shoves her in her crib instead of playing with her. He expects her to entertain herself/feed herself while he plays video games all day. He's always asking if my mom's coming over so he can do this or that. So flameworthy or not, no I wouldn't be comfortable.

Disclaimer: DH would never want to take DD alone anyway, so its a moot point in my situation.

hmp1 · May 2014

DH has taken James to Chicago a couple of times. I didn't think twice about it. I know he will feed him crap and let him pee in bushes on the side of the road, but that is the fun in having a road trip with Dad. He will probably take one of them to CO this summer. Leo makes the most sense to bring because he can fly free, but James is the easier to handle as far as not needing to take a long nap everyday. We are still working through the logistics of it.

He has no desire to bring them both somewhere far without me, but I don't want to do that either so I don't blame him.

KellersPrag · May 2014

FTR it was jcieply or whoever that asked this before.

If you can be alone with your child somewhere, so can the father. Plain and simple.

Nita2603 · May 2014

He is their father, we are happily married and there is no reason to be even thinking about it twice. He can take the boys on solo trips any time.

Flamingemu · May 2014

KellersPrag said:

FTR it was jcieply or whoever that asked this before. If you can be alone with your child somewhere, so can the father. Plain and simple.

Nope. It was her, same title and all. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/9042650/would-you-let-your-dh#latest

KellersPrag · May 2014

Flamingemu said:

KellersPrag said:

FTR it was jcieply or whoever that asked this before. If you can be alone with your child somewhere, so can the father. Plain and simple.

Nope. It was her, same title and all. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/9042650/would-you-let-your-dh#latest

Oh, damn. My memory failed. I was thinking of https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12227303/wws12d#latest.

Stasi · May 2014

Sure I would! What a great opportunity for your DH to bond with your DD and for you to bond with DS and most importantly, catch up on some rest

It's not to say that I wouldn't miss them, but you what they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

MeatballEsq · May 2014

Is this groundhogs day?

thebanich · May 2014

It wouldn't be my favorite idea but that is because I'm a paranoid crazy head. Using the word "let" is probably not the best idea.

Fortunately DH's family lives about 2 hours away so occasionally he takes one or both of the kids by himself to see them.

Pokedot · May 2014

Yes, yes I would "let" him take his child OOT. The word "let" really rubs me the wrong way. I would be overjoyed if he did in fact take DS OOT. I would have the complete house to myself and get 10x more shit done then when either of them were there. Or maybe I'd lay on the couch and eat ice cream out of the carton all day. That could work too.

MRoxy0628 · May 2014

Reading through the old thread made me notice that @cheenomae hasn't been around in a bit.

MarisaKathleen · May 2014

Does your DH want to take my kid with?

Because seriously, if I could have a weekend away from Nancy and her incredible tantrums for a few days, I would take it.

I can't think of where DH would ask me to go with Nancy that I would say no to.

crene84 · May 2014

I was worried "let" sounded bad but figured you all knew what I meant. Yes, I am the one who was worried about this before, haha..but before I was pregnant, barely functioning, and it was really the best option or so I thought.

But last time actually went really bad ..she was 9 months, super anxious, DH left her with his mom all day every day while he went to the hospital and DD didn't know his mom that much at the time..so yea it was pretty awful. This time is much different and better!

crene84 · May 2014

Flamingemu said:

KellersPrag said:

FTR it was jcieply or whoever that asked this before. If you can be alone with your child somewhere, so can the father. Plain and simple.

Nope. It was her, same title and all. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/9042650/would-you-let-your-dh#latest

lmao wow, I didn't realize I used the same title..crazy

BillyMollyEmmy · May 2014

My husband is just as much of a capable parent as I am. I don't and shouldn't have any issues with him taking our child anywhere.

OceanLover26 · May 2014

I would be okay for DH to take all four of ours OOT any day of the week. He's traveled quite a bit alone with our first two boys because I was gone in the army for 10 months, so he was doing a lot of traveling to bring them to visit me while I was in training. Not to mention, it was just him at home with them everyday I was gone and they were 1 and 2 years old. He enjoys traveling with the kids. He's actually taking the older two up north to ride dirt bikes for Memorial weekend and I'm taking the two younger down South to see my mom that weekend. I say if he's up for it encourage him to.

mrsbhk22 · May 2014

I don't like when DH takes all the kids somewhere (weirdo fear of mine that something happens to all of them at one time). Otherwise, have at it. I can't imagine not trusting DH with our kids.

L8kissie · May 2014

I most certainly would. He is capable of caring for our children. He may not do it my way, but they will be safe and cared for. They are his children too. Missing the kids is always hard, but the experiences/memories gained are worth it.

melody921 · May 2014

hmp1 said:

DH has taken James to Chicago a couple of times. I didn't think twice about it. I know he will feed him crap and let him pee in bushes on the side of the road, but that is the fun in having a road trip with Dad. He will probably take one of them to CO this summer. Leo makes the most sense to bring because he can fly free, but James is the easier to handle as far as not needing to take a long nap everyday. We are still working through the logistics of it.

He has no desire to bring them both somewhere far without me, but I don't want to do that either so I don't blame him.

Bwahaha, our DHs must be related.

As to the original question, I'd have no problem with it. I've taken the kids places on my own (even if it's just a state away to visit my mom overnight). DH is totally responsible and involved in all aspects of their daily care, same as I am. He doesn't have out-of-state family, so this might be a non-issue, but I would have no concerns about him taking the kids alone. I'd miss them, sure, but I'd miss them if I were away and they were home too.

newenglander71 · May 2014

I wouldn't mind DH taking DS OOT at all, but when he brings it up my initial reaction isn't always positive. Not because I worry, but because I think DH would be so stressed having to be 100% responsible for DS for an extended period. He tends to worry and be very protective, so I think he would be on super high alert without me there to calm him down....so not sure how enjoyable it would be for him.

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