I'm at 40 weeks today. And only one cm. My water retention is so terrible now I'm losing feeling in my right hand. Plus my sister flies in on Friday hoping to see a baby, not a belly.....frustrated!!!!
DH popped open a bottle of wine just now and insisted I have 1-2 glasses, nothing excessive, and said " #1 - it's not going to hurt anything at this stage, #2 - it will help some with your swelling and #3 - you deserve it, enjoy!".
Self-care ladies, that needs to be the focus at this point!!
I'm desperately trying to be positive but I'm so worried of the logistics with DH working and needing our parents to get up here to care for DS when it happens its making me even more anxious. I was overly hopeful something would happen tonight since my parents are already heading up tomorrow for my dads doctor appt. and the contractions I had all night did nothing but further that excitement. Now that its 5 pm and nothing I'm just trying to look forward to the end of the week which is the next "great timing" situation for him to make his arrival. It's just more time I get to spend with DS just the 2 of us!
I just keep telling myself "this is how it's supposed to go." This was a very planned pregnancy, and I'm trying to enjoy it. Especially since most of it has been kinda miserable. It's only been the past few weeks that I've enjoyed parts of it.
I may be less frustrated, since I know I won't be going to my edd. Due to hypertension, and a giant baby, I won't go past Wednesday, but I could go "at any time" and since I was 4cm dilated on Friday, Doc says that he'll prob just send me to the hospital from my Monday afternoon appointment...so I know it's coming sooner than later. I'm just trying to relax into the pain and realize that this too shall pass, and this is what is supposed to happen. And that it really isn't *that* bad in the grand scheme of things. The pain will go away. I'll sleep comfortably again. I'll walk normally again. And as annoying as it is when people tell me, I know that "it will be worth it."
And as much as I'd like to get more stuff done around the house, I'm just trying to enjoy time with H. We've been just the two of us for a long long time, and the idea of everything changing is stressful to me. So I gave up finishing the nursery (since baby will be in our room for awhile) and making sure everything is perfect and organized to just be together and chill out. That has helped us realize how cool this is going to be, and we keep talking about how excited we are for baby.
DH popped open a bottle of wine just now and insisted I have 1-2 glasses, nothing excessive, and said " #1 - it's not going to hurt anything at this stage, #2 - it will help some with your swelling and #3 - you deserve it, enjoy!".
Self-care ladies, that needs to be the focus at this point!!
I bought my first bottle in nine months with plans to have a big glorious glass when I go into labor......
DH popped open a bottle of wine just now and insisted I have 1-2 glasses, nothing excessive, and said " #1 - it's not going to hurt anything at this stage, #2 - it will help some with your swelling and #3 - you deserve it, enjoy!".
Self-care ladies, that needs to be the focus at this point!!
I bought my first bottle in nine months with plans to have a big glorious glass when I go into labor......
I got a bottle last night too! So can't wait to crack it open!!
My mom came out on Thursday and Friday and took me to the mall to walk around and "get things moving". I still have two weeks but my doctor though for sure she'd come this weekend. It didn't help my anxiety to think that everyone is expecting her to come early and she hasn't. All I can do is take a deep breath and try to concentrate on keeping myself comfortable. It's been a miserable pregnancy for me. Even though this is my first, she may be my only so I'm trying to appreciate every moment, even the shitty ones. I'm trying very hard to remember that this whole pregnancy is out of my control. I can't do anything to make her come faster and even if I could, my body wouldn't necessarily be ready. It's a hard pill for me to swallow but I'm trying.
I'm just here to report back that today was much better than yesterday on the Zen front. Working actively on having more days like this, and fewer like yesterday by taking things one day at a time from here on out. So hard sometimes though.
Also, I think I'm going to have some Guiness tonight with dinner. Hooray!
Today will be better! I feel better, though I still have a terrible sore throat, at least my body does not ache as badly as it did yesterday. Plus I know that I am 1 day closer to having this baby.
I really hate it when people put the idea in your head that you are going to go early. It really makes the time pass slowly. I am afraid my mother has gotten in the habit of calling everyday to see how I am feeling. I am afraid that I am just going to snap and hurt her feelings.
I really hate everyone saying "oh enjoy this stage, blah blah blah"
It makes me want to list everything that hurts, limits, or causes me distress just to prove that what I am feeling is legitimate. Which sucks because it is hard enough feeling like I am allowed to not be a perfectly, happy, content little pregnant almost mom.
I am really thankful I work from home, although I am so distracted, I only get work done in spurts. But that is OK, it gives me something to get up and do and I don't have to look nice to do it, thank goodness.
I really just want to sit and complain about everything on here, so that I can smile IRL. But i will try to be zen instead.
Trying to be zen, but woke up feeling super nauseous... I think last night's fish fry was a bad choice! I am trying to focus on non baby related things to look forward to to make time go faster bc when I think of baby things time seems to go suuuuper slow. Like, my best friend is coming to have lunch with me on Sunday. I haven't seen her in months so I am really excited for a girls lunch. And DH is letting me have a treat yourself day on Saturday for a manicure and pedicure! My plan is to focus on these and try to stop thinking about the fact that I have no control over when this is going to happen and it could still be 3 weeks before he comes!
I have the opposite issue from those of you who were told you would go early. Both of my mom's pregnancies went to 42 weeks and DH's mom went to almost 44 (I'm pretty sure her doctor was an idiot, but that's another story), so I came into this thinking I would too.
On the flip side, today is the last of my three EDDs and I'm still in denial that I have plenty of time to get things done
@kstar83 I think that in order to be OK with where you are you HAVE to acknowledge the awful bits first. You can't ignore them and shove them under the rug. It's not about being Pollyanna!
This was sort of my inner monologue this morning:
"My hips hurt, I feel tearful and exhausted, my belly itches, and I cannot stand up for more than 5 minutes at a time without back pain. This is really hard.
"I cannot change these things. I cannot control when my baby will come.
"What I CAN do is breathe. I can accept the way I feel. I can lie down and fall asleep reading a book. I can enjoy the sun coming through the window and the pair of cardinals at my birdfeeder. I can text with friends. I can make some tea."
I can't jump to enjoying my tea without acknowledging the rest of how I feel first. I don't think anyone can, even Zen masters! That's one of the first things they teach in meditation --- to zero in on how you honestly are feeling and to acknowledge it because THEN AND ONLY THEN can you release it.
Trying out my zen today. It's my day off and unless I want to really get into more deep cleaning (which I don't), I don't have much to do. So I'm taking advantage of the ability to rest. I may go try to get some of my wedding scrapbook done. I've only been working on it for like a year! At the very least I'm grateful to not be working today an will try to enjoy hanging out with my inside baby today
Today will be better! I feel better, though I still have a terrible sore throat, at least my body does not ache as badly as it did yesterday. Plus I know that I am 1 day closer to having this baby.
I really hate it when people put the idea in your head that you are going to go early. It really makes the time pass slowly. I am afraid my mother has gotten in the habit of calling everyday to see how I am feeling. I am afraid that I am just going to snap and hurt her feelings.
My parents are doing the same thing. I have my mom and dad both constantly asking how I'm feeling and is it time yet? I know everyone's excited but the constant berating gives me anxiety.
I have promised myself that I'm not going to let this pregnancy get the best of me. I'm a control freak, I have issues letting go, and I've let myself be consumed by the idea of her coming early. Instead of living, I've been sitting around wondering. It's not healthy and it's not me.
@pepperedmoth Do you practice TM? I have tried it. It is harder than one would think.
Also, I have done stream of consciousness journaling before. I feel like some of my entries would mirror your above thoughts.
I am at work today, so keeping pretty busy and my mind isn't really on baby stuff. My guys in the shop just keep giving me lists of stuff they need for the next 2-4 week's jobs. So I can get everything squared away with our vendors who know I will be out of the office. It is nice to have my mind occupied.
@pepperedmoth Do you practice TM? I have tried it. It is harder than one would think.
Also, I have done stream of consciousness journaling before. I feel like some of my entries would mirror your above thoughts.
I am at work today, so keeping pretty busy and my mind isn't really on baby stuff. My guys in the shop just keep giving me lists of stuff they need for the next 2-4 week's jobs. So I can get everything squared away with our vendors who know I will be out of the office. It is nice to have my mind occupied.
I wanted to work until my due date - but I can't stay off my feet as a teacher. I wish I had something to keep my mind busy!
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
I'm right there with @pepperedmoth - I've acknowledged how I feel today and now am moving on bc there is nothing to be done for it. I've contacted a friend and we're going to lunch, the conversation not to solely focus on baby related things, then I'm going to Kohl's to spend $30 of their free cash. Then I'm going to come home to read and probably (hopefully) nap. Afterward I'll just play it by ear..... What will be will be today
@WoodShopGirl my daily meditation is a mindfulness meditation --- bringing awareness to the breath (or some other focal point) and keeping it there gently. I have some guided ones that use the breath. On my own I tend to use other things, like a phrase or word. I'm not sure how that is or isn't like TM, tbh.
Then in Quaker worship, which is an hour, I settle down by paying attention to the breath or a prayer, then release my focus and let my mind be still and open. When I wander I re-center on my focus point , then release again. Ideally I only need the focal point right at first and then can sort of bask in peacefulness, but it doesn't always work like that! It IS hard!
Trying to stay zen and relax; roll with the punches today... But it's hard when even putting on regular, non-yoga pants made me feel like I just went for a five mile run! I'm also going to acknowledge that I just had a real contraction, and although it hurt like hell, I could still breathe and talk through it, and there may not be any more after that one. There's no reason for me to start thinking it's time to rush to the hospital, so I need to just sit here and relax, watch my shows, and eat lunch. If it happens today, awesome. If not, then that's one more day down until it does.
I just wish MH were here for a hug. That sucked monkey balls.
I'm not zen anymore, I'm just hatey. BRU won't let me have free shipping to Alaska for some random new reason, my nails look awful even though I'm sitting in a salon and refusing to get a mani because the woman who just did my pedi is awful, I've been having pointless contractions for the last 17 hours, and I haven't worn anything but yoga pants or cotton maxi skirts since my maternity clothes stopped fitting/feeling comfortable about a month ago. I want to cry about all the things or punch someone in the face.
We got enough snow to close my work, which is great...but that also means DH wouldn't clean off my truck so I could go buy an exercise ball to bounce on after he wouldn't stop at the store yesterday.
I'm having contractions that are all over the place and taking me nowhere.
...I do have chocolate in the fridge, so maybe that will make me feel better.
Losing my Zen focus today. Last night had a high blood pressure spike of 150/90 - called my midwife she said it was high, but not "scary high" and gave me some things to do to bring it down. It was around 140/80 by the time I went to bed.
Today it's been okay, higher than normal but not as high as last night. I'm stressed about it, which probably doesn't help my BP. Tomorrow at my weekly we'll talk about doing blood work for pre-e just in case though my midwife feels that I'm fine and that sometimes your blood pressure goes up before labor and that may be all this is.
Emotionally I am just very sad and nervous. I keep crying. I just want me and the baby to be okay, I want my home birth but I'd go for a c-section right this minute if that's what I needed to do. I'm trying to focus on the positive, how far along I am, etc. but it's hard today.
I had a spike a couple of weeks ago. Went in for observation and had similar high readings for a little while. Did the pre-e testing (and 24 hour urine catch). Was really scared I was going to be induced at 37 weeks.
Pre-e came back negative, and since then my BP has been fine. I'm gonna make it to 39 weeks and baby looks fine. It was really scary there for awhile, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Hopefully your BP stays okay and everything comes back clear. They'll watch you closely now, right? That helped me a lot, knowing that they would catch anything quickly if it kept going south.
@bennieangel@rockopera@Jt7dreamz thanks for the support and creepy hugs I am probably going in for blood work and some monitoring tomorrow which will give us more information. Trying to think positive and realize that if I have to deal with high blood pressure and pre-e at least it's happening now at 39 weeks when the baby would be more than ok on the outside.
It's really effing hard to be zen when your damn SO changes his mind on a promise he made you over twelve hours ago. I'm in ugly tears because he changed his mind, and expected me to just be okay with it.
Fuck dude, if you didn't want to do it in the first place, don't get my damn hopes up and then change your mind when I'm getting ready for bed. This is bullshit, and you know it.
My DH didn't promise it but I totally thought he'd be ok with it...I was wrong. He's refusing and it makes me want to scream!
Sorry you're dealing with that.
Omg! I totally thought my husband was the only one! That actually makes me feel better that it's not just me.
I found my Zen again after coupon combining at BRU, so I feel for you @AnonymousMotherOfOne & @BrideNamedMeg I wish I had some words of wisdom but spending money was the only thing that helped me. More creepy Internet hugs.
I am losing my zen... My stomach is so sore today after super strong and pointless contractions that went nowhere last night. I just hope this is a sign that it will happen sooner rather than later so I am not dealing with this until 41 weeks or something. That would truly ruin my zen!
We just lost hot water over here because MH made a mistake installing the heater, asked the gas guys to check it out, they freaked out that he did it wrong shut off the heater threatened fines and citations......
.....deep breaths.
Good news: MH coming home early to deal. And I can still make coffee.
Hugs to EVERYONE. Is no one having a good day?
We just lost hot water over here because MH made a mistake installing the heater, asked the gas guys to check it out, they freaked out that he did it wrong shut off the heater threatened fines and citations......
.....deep breaths.
Good news: MH coming home early to deal. And I can still make coffee.
Oh my goodness! That sounds stressful! But, better safe than sorry and I am glad it's getting fixed. Hope you guys don't get any fines/citations!
MH is home and thinks the guy was just being a jackass. They can't cite him for doing work wrong on his own house. He knew that it was a problem but couldn't figure how to fix it without altering the framing of the house so he fixed up something temporary. Turns out the answer is: alter the framing. Which he is now doing.
He's super annoyed that they also criticized him for work that THEY DID when they installed our propane, so....he wrangled with them over the phone a bit.
Anyway he's here now and everyone is calmer. I'm going to make breakfast. Listening to the wind-chimes we have up on the deck and calming down.
Re: Still pregnant and trying to be Zen not miserable. Anyone else? Come in!
Self-care ladies, that needs to be the focus at this point!!
I'm trying very hard to remember that this whole pregnancy is out of my control. I can't do anything to make her come faster and even if I could, my body wouldn't necessarily be ready. It's a hard pill for me to swallow but I'm trying.
Also, I think I'm going to have some Guiness tonight with dinner. Hooray!
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This was sort of my inner monologue this morning:
"My hips hurt, I feel tearful and exhausted, my belly itches, and I cannot stand up for more than 5 minutes at a time without back pain. This is really hard.
"I cannot change these things. I cannot control when my baby will come.
"What I CAN do is breathe. I can accept the way I feel. I can lie down and fall asleep reading a book. I can enjoy the sun coming through the window and the pair of cardinals at my birdfeeder. I can text with friends. I can make some tea."
I can't jump to enjoying my tea without acknowledging the rest of how I feel first. I don't think anyone can, even Zen masters! That's one of the first things they teach in meditation --- to zero in on how you honestly are feeling and to acknowledge it because THEN AND ONLY THEN can you release it.
I have promised myself that I'm not going to let this pregnancy get the best of me. I'm a control freak, I have issues letting go, and I've let myself be consumed by the idea of her coming early. Instead of living, I've been sitting around wondering. It's not healthy and it's not me.
But today is a new day
Also, I have done stream of consciousness journaling before. I feel like some of my entries would mirror your above thoughts.
I am at work today, so keeping pretty busy and my mind isn't really on baby stuff. My guys in the shop just keep giving me lists of stuff they need for the next 2-4 week's jobs. So I can get everything squared away with our vendors who know I will be out of the office. It is nice to have my mind occupied.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Then in Quaker worship, which is an hour, I settle down by paying attention to the breath or a prayer, then release my focus and let my mind be still and open. When I wander I re-center on my focus point , then release again. Ideally I only need the focal point right at first and then can sort of bask in peacefulness, but it doesn't always work like that! It IS hard!
I just wish MH were here for a hug.
That sucked monkey balls.
We got enough snow to close my work, which is great...but that also means DH wouldn't clean off my truck so I could go buy an exercise ball to bounce on after he wouldn't stop at the store yesterday.
I'm having contractions that are all over the place and taking me nowhere.
...I do have chocolate in the fridge, so maybe that will make me feel better.
I had a spike a couple of weeks ago. Went in for observation and had similar high readings for a little while. Did the pre-e testing (and 24 hour urine catch). Was really scared I was going to be induced at 37 weeks.
Pre-e came back negative, and since then my BP has been fine. I'm gonna make it to 39 weeks and baby looks fine. It was really scary there for awhile, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Hopefully your BP stays okay and everything comes back clear. They'll watch you closely now, right? That helped me a lot, knowing that they would catch anything quickly if it kept going south.
Fuck dude, if you didn't want to do it in the first place, don't get my damn hopes up and then change your mind when I'm getting ready for bed. This is bullshit, and you know it.
I'm feeling bitey. >:(
My DH didn't promise it but I totally thought he'd be ok with it...I was wrong. He's refusing and it makes me want to scream!
Sorry you're dealing with that.
I found my Zen again after coupon combining at BRU, so I feel for you @AnonymousMotherOfOne & @BrideNamedMeg I wish I had some words of wisdom but spending money was the only thing that helped me. More creepy Internet hugs.
We just lost hot water over here because MH made a mistake installing the heater, asked the gas guys to check it out, they freaked out that he did it wrong shut off the heater threatened fines and citations......
.....deep breaths.
Good news: MH coming home early to deal. And I can still make coffee.
Oh my goodness! That sounds stressful! But, better safe than sorry and I am glad it's getting fixed. Hope you guys don't get any fines/citations!
He's super annoyed that they also criticized him for work that THEY DID when they installed our propane, so....he wrangled with them over the phone a bit.
Anyway he's here now and everyone is calmer. I'm going to make breakfast. Listening to the wind-chimes we have up on the deck and calming down.