Still pregnant and trying to be Zen not miserable. Anyone else? Come in!

pepperedmoth · March 2014

I find that complaining about it sometimes stresses me out more. I'm trying to take it one day at a time if I can't enjoy being pregnant any more, but I think a mutual support thread might be nice!

This is the sort of thing I mean: I got all verklempt this AM because of how difficult it was to climb into MH's pickup truck and I tried to just accept the way my body is right now and calm down.

Then I was so tired I didn't think I could make it through grocery shopping for dinner so instead of pushing through it I made a deal with myself to try and if it was too much I would just leave and we could get takeout (I did fine!)

I'm anxious about not sleeping tonight because I want to go to Meeting (Quaker church) in the morning but don't know how I'll feel. I decided not to set an alarm and I will have silent prayer and read the Bible instead if I am too tired.

Anyway. Anyone else? Support each other? Baby steps? Day by day? Zen? Help? It's hard to keep talking myself down! Maybe we can talk each other down instead.

pepperedmoth · March 2014

I keep reminding myself to take care of myself and not stress about what I think I SHOULD be able to do or WANT to be able to do, just focus on what I CAN do.

Like, "getting off the couch is exhausting and difficult. That's OK. That's just the way it is. I am going to focus on how my best friend is coming over for tea. That's enough right now (and she can pull me off the damn couch!!)"

saisongbird · March 2014

Very day by day, even hour by hour. This morning I couldn't get off the couch. Then I got a burst of energy and DH and I got a ton done around the house to the point where the to-do list - baby and non-baby - is nearly done. It's also weird because I *think* I'm having contractions, but they're far milder than the few I had on Thursday. I can breathe through most of them but can't really talk, and they're shorter. But more frequent. So it's very hour-to-hour. I try to find something good about each section of the day to make myself feel better about still being pregnant. For example:

This morning: I relaxed on the couch (rather than plopping there because everything else felt shitty)

This afternoon: Nesting like whoa! Laundry done, put up decor in little girl's room, figured out the music situation, hung her growth chart, made a lasagna and it's now cut into four/eight servings waiting to be frozen, fixed a piece of furniture that was never put together right 5 months ago, and changed out the winter decor for spring.

Tonight: More relaxing and probably report cards.

Now, granted, in between each of these, was resting and sitting and periods of being inactive because I couldn't move, but it's about finding the positive moments in each day!

mhilpisch10 · March 2014

saisongbird said:
Very day by day, even hour by hour. This morning I couldn't get off the couch. Then I got a burst of energy and DH and I got a ton done around the house to the point where the to-do list - baby and non-baby - is nearly done. It's also weird because I *think* I'm having contractions, but they're far milder than the few I had on Thursday. I can breathe through most of them but can't really talk, and they're shorter. But more frequent. So it's very hour-to-hour. I try to find something good about each section of the day to make myself feel better about still being pregnant. For example:

This morning: I relaxed on the couch (rather than plopping there because everything else felt shitty)

This afternoon: Nesting like whoa! Laundry done, put up decor in little girl's room, figured out the music situation, hung her growth chart, made a lasagna and it's now cut into four/eight servings waiting to be frozen, fixed a piece of furniture that was never put together right 5 months ago, and changed out the winter decor for spring.

Tonight: More relaxing and probably report cards.

Now, granted, in between each of these, was resting and sitting and periods of being inactive because I couldn't move, but it's about finding the positive moments in each day!

I bet you go into labor in the next day or 2. I had a burst if energy like that before my labor started. Keep moving around.

megs68 · March 2014

I am 38 weeks and while I'm feeling very uncomfortable, I'm actually in a really good place mentally. I wouldn't have said that with my first prgnancy though! I will tell you, life will get very very hard in a few weeks so although you probably don't want to hear it, try to enjoy your last days of pre kid life! Cuddle with your husband, take relaxing baths, run last minute errands, cook a few freezer meals, chat with friends about things NOT baby/pregnancy related, go to a movie, etc. I had someone tell me this when I was 40 weeks with DS and it made me so mad, but now I get it and wish I'd been mor relaxed in those final weeks instead of stressing out about baby not being there yet!

LittlePigeon · March 2014

I keep making bargains with myself and that seems to help. For example this week was pretty rough physically, so I just convinced myself she would probably arrive this weekend. Even if she doesn't, it makes the crummy stuff feeling manageable than if I start thinking about going 2 weeks past my due date.

DRFleener · March 2014

I am definitely up or down. Some hours I have all the energy then I will sort of crash and just want to sleep. Then yesterday my Ob starts pushing induction and I was like let's talk about next Friday. This might seem crazy but I tell myself my ancestors were having babies and doing everything without any real help. Or think of the moms in Syria or whatevs...some how that helps me not totally give up.

Ahutch428 · March 2014

Day by day here as well... I have had a great pregnancy so far, but starting last week, I am constantly uncomfortable. I have also started getting "lightening crotch"... Very fun. Add that to the fact that I am working up to my due date, and have to find coverage for classes or take time off to go in for biweekly NSTs and BPPs... I have two more weeks, but I am ready!

MayKay12 · March 2014

I am miserable and everything hurts. I'm 38 weeks and I'm super exhausted with carrying this huge belly around and trying to take care of two kids all day. Our house is a mess because I refuse to bend down and pick up one more toy.

I started having some contractions today which got my hopes up. Of course those have dissappeared now leaving me disappointed. I feel bad that my kids aren't getting the normal playful me and I'm just ready for this little guy to be out so I can do stuff with them again.

Phew, that felt good to get out.

pepperedmoth · March 2014

Just finished making peanut noodles for dinner and now my back hurts bit THAT IS OK because I will sit down and MH is taking over the rest of dinner.

pepperedmoth · March 2014

mommyKT310 said:
I am over trying to get this baby out. I have decided to spend the rest of my pregnancy resting on the couch and sleeping in. Granted, my induction is scheduled for Monday at 6am. Either way I get to meet my baby this week. It hurts too much to move anyways. Between the hip pain and sciatic nerve pain I'm practically bedridden.

Good call. Just relax and take care of yourself and you will be a much happier momma come Monday!

boymom312 · March 2014

I'm 40w +3. I've learned to set the small goals for myself. Like, I will make dinner or I will put a load of laundry in or I will go to the grocery store for milk only (except, I always stay and get the rest) or I will bring in just the cold groceries and put them away (I do that and then decide if I can bring more, usually I do) or I will take a shower. I leave the big motivational stuff like going for a walk around the block up to DH to light that fire. I may only do one a day or I might do several, but I don't get down on myself anymore for being stuck on the couch. I'm extremely pregnant, I'm allowed.

jh&kh · March 2014

I've become much more relaxed in the last couple days as well. I remember with DD I was so stressed about trying to get her to come, but in the end she showed up on her due date! Within the past couple of days I've just tried to keep telling myself no matter what I do, she is going to come when she is ready. Trying to enjoy the last week or so with just DD and get all the snuggles I can!

Turtle15SW · March 2014

This week three women I went to high school with had their babies...all of whom had due dates past mine! Hoping the full moon kicks in tomorrow.

Sanibel21 · March 2014

I would love having a positive mindset thread! A nice balance to the bitchfest thread, haha. I've listened to The Power of Now and read The Worry Cure in the past, both of which have given me tools and thought patterns I'm trying to use to get me through these last few weeks. A lot of "accepting what is" and "staying in the present moment." I try not to ruminate or allow myself to think things that are not productive, which really is anything negative. I was sick for the last two weeks so I'm even feeling more appreciative that I'm just feeling better in that way.
Also because I'm pretty uncomfortable, it's a little easier to just focus on getting through the next task, the next hour, the next day.
We can do this!

BrideNamedMeg · March 2014

I have my moments, but overall the end of pregnancy is a pretty zen time for me. I know my midwife won't induce and a medical emergency is going to put me in the hospital rather than at home, so I know it's out of my hands and am able to just go with the flow.

Last night after the kids went to bed, I had some ice cream and watched two episodes of Elementary - when I was tired I went to bed. When we have a newborn that will not be possible AT ALL, I won't be able to just go to sleep without making sure the baby is settled and sleeping first.

It's not glamourous "me time" but I'm enjoying it all the same. I wanted to get my hair done last week, but the timing didn't work out so that means this week I'll hopefully get a cut (nothing short, I learned my lesson when I was pregnant with DS) and some new highlights. If I make it to next weekend I'll go for a pedicure with my cousin.

I deflect anyone who asks stupid questions about when I think the baby will come...this is mostly from my mom and MIL bless them. My mom actually asked me about my mucus plug today, lol, I just gave her a look. They mean well but I don't have a crystal ball!

VineyardMel · March 2014

I have an outside baby so I hope it's OK to comment, but wanted to suggest trying to plan something just for you every day or so--definitely every day past your EDD. A pedi, lunch with a friend--whatever gives you something to look forward to each day (and that you'll be delighted to cancel when baby does come). Definitely harder for STMs already looking after littles, but finding a way to treat yourself everyday might help. If it were me, I'd include long showers and sleeping in as much as possible because those are definitely treats after you have the baby. Hang in there--when the baby is here you'll think pregnancy was so short!! Oh---and if you haven't done so yet, video your stomach "dancing" so you can watch it when you miss feeling them move in there.

jennbaylor12 · March 2014

Fantastic idea!! I'm trying to do the same, small steps with positive thinking. Depending which Dr I go by I will either be 39 or 40wks on Monday. My Dr had been talking about inducing due to pre-e each week since 35 but at each appt I'm doing well enough he gives me 'one more week'.... 4wks later, here I am.... That has been hard bc I go into every appt thinking I'm getting an induction date and never do - so I'm focusing on being happy LO had made it fullterm and since my appt this Tuesday my focus had been me and DH and how these are our last days together. We've had date night in with steaks and a movie, have spent lots of time hanging out and laughing and not talking about the baby, have taken naps and some walks and pretty much are just enjoying each other - it had been lovely!! As far as everything else day-to-day, I'm doing like some of you - a trip to the grocery 'just for one thing' and usually get everything, giving myself permission to rest and take things slow. DH is incredibly supportive so that helps as well

bumpuser1282882 · March 2014

I'm trying to stay zen. It was easier when I was working because I had something to focus in other than baby, but now that I am on mat leave I feel like my entire focus has shifted onto baby and baby alone. Like a PP suggested though, I do have something planned for each day this week so that I don't completely lose my mind - enough that I am leaving the house each day but still leaving ample time to relax and sleep in in the meantime.

akflutterby · March 2014

Knowing that this is the last time I'll ever be pregnant I'm really trying to drag out these last couple of weeks. I think it has kept me from getting my act together (like she won't come if I don't put the car seat in), but I really like taking the time to watch my little girl wriggle around inside me and feeling her kicks and jabs. Even the eleventy billion times a night I wake up to pee or hate my new acid reflux I try to take some time to enjoy her and her growing little body. Of course last week I thought I was going to die I was so uncomfortable and sick, but TODAY I'm totally acting like that never happened. I haven't had anything close to a unicorn pregnancy but I'm trying to remember it like it was. Now I want to take another nap.

NoelleZako · March 2014

I've been trying so hard to stay positive and continue to at least try and do things with DH as much I I can. Last night was too much for me though because I had my membranes stripped which made me so incredibly nauseous and crampy. Our friends kept asking us to come over and DH was like it's not healthy to stay in let's just go for an hour. I flipped and just ugly cried because I wanted to go but I just knew I couldn't do it. I had such a terrible headache on top of everything and just didn't want to be around people as much as I love them I just wanted to be miserable in my own house with no bra on.

This morning started off good because my headache finally dulled down so I showered and put on my make up. Then I sat down on my bed half dressed and fell asleep for a few more hours (3:30 pm). Ha as soon as I finally woke up again I felt so much better and told DH to hurry and get dressed so we could go to lowes before I fell asleep again. The poor man got dressed so fast I felt bed but after my ugly cry he knew not to push outings with me anymore. We are so ready for this kid! He brought me 2 whole pineapples and some rrl tea last night. Lol

Currently we are planting and by we I mean I'm following him around on a chair.

bao bei · March 2014

VineyardMel said:
plan something just for you every day or so--definitely every day past your EDD.

yes! I've planned dinners out at the fancier restaurants we like to go to because a) we won't be able to go as frequently with an infant and b) why not tempt fate with a chance to go into labor at one of SF's finer establishments? "Excuse me, waiter, but what entree goes well with my water breaking all over your sustainable leather chairs?"

pepperedmoth · March 2014

NoelleZako said:
I've been trying so hard to stay positive and continue to at least try and do things with DH as much I I can. Last night was too much for me though because I had my membranes stripped which made me so incredibly nauseous and crampy. Our friends kept asking us to come over and DH was like it's not healthy to stay in let's just go for an hour. I flipped and just ugly cried because I wanted to go but I just knew I couldn't do it. I had such a terrible headache on top of everything and just didn't want to be around people as much as I love them I just wanted to be miserable in my own house with no bra on.

This morning started off good because my headache finally dulled down so I showered and put on my make up. Then I sat down on my bed half dressed and fell asleep for a few more hours (3:30 pm). Ha as soon as I finally woke up again I felt so much better and told DH to hurry and get dressed so we could go to lowes before I fell asleep again. The poor man got dressed so fast I felt bed but after my ugly cry he knew not to push outings with me anymore. We are so ready for this kid! He brought me 2 whole pineapples and some rrl tea last night. Lol

Currently we are planting and by we I mean I'm following him around on a chair.

I think it's perfectly healthy to stay in. I am an introvert and I NEED my quiet alone time to stay mentally healthy. You should definitely honor that need when you feel it! I had my one friend over for tea this afternoon and that was all of the socialization that felt good. No more!

WoodShopGirl · March 2014

@Sanibel21‌ if you like to read In Praise of Slowness is a good one. It talks about taking things one at a time and I found it a good read even though I am usually Miss 100 MPH. During the week since I am still working it is easier to get through the day. The weekends are my challenges, but I feel setting small goals is helping. Like today I got all the laundry done and put it all away. So I got a donut. Small victories deserve small rewards, even if those victories are just the day to day.

maganonymous · March 2014

I like this idea. I have weird guilt issues, and think it would be nice to have a positive thread like this to read!

I finally accepted my limitations today and decided to start my maternity leave. My boss and coworkers were really supportive and couldn't believe I made it this far. I would have kept working until delivery if they really needed me, but they have it covered. I think my biggest struggle is going to be the guilt of throwing in the towel at work before delivery. Even as I was contemplating the decision to start leave early, I sometimes felt like I let myself/my team down. But, like I said, everyone was super supportive to me today in my decision, so I know I have nothing to feel guilty about.

For right now, I feel like an incredible weight was lifted off my shoulders. I'm really excited to just focus on myself and our little family over the next few days until LO comes. Also, I think my mom is planning to come into town on Tuesday no matter if I have the baby yet or not, so it will be nice to spend some time with her (I'm a momma's girl!).

kaking78 · March 2014

My mental state has gotten a lot better since I started maternity leave yesterday. I'm doing a few more things for the kiddo, but they're fun things like finishing artwork. My goal is to do one productive thing each day (make dinner, do a couple of loads of laundry, pick up around the house) and to get out of the house for at least 20 minutes, even if it's just to the grocery store or dog park.

AnonymousMotherOfOne · March 2014

This thread, even just reading it, feels so nice and therapeutic. I love it.

Tomorrow night we are planning on it being our first night in the home we plan to bring LO home to for the first time. Even though the last three weeks have been me losing my mind over it not being clean, and fighting with the roommate about it needing to be cleaned, I have decided that I'm just not going to worry about it anymore. There's no benefit to nagging her about her dishes, so I'll just do mine and DH's, and leave it at that. When the bathroom gets icky again, MH or I will clean it, and just keep trying to keep it looking generally nice.

As for pregnancy aches and pains, I'm trying my best to just accept what comes my way, be it heartburn or sciatic nerve pain that hits in the middle of the night because baby girl's head is pushing on it when I sleep on my side (the only way that's comfortable now, not to mention safe for me and LO, which y'all already know of course!)

I've set small goals for tomorrow, but I'm trying to keep in mind that if I don't accomplish those goals, it most certainly isn't the end of the world. So what if I don't make it to the car wash? We'll have rain in a few days, anyway. If the baby's bassinet isn't put together before I go to sleep tomorrow, so what? I could potentially have another four weeks until she needs it, instead of the two I'm hoping for.

That being said, I'm another one of those 100 MPH kind of gals, and I will probably come back here to this thread tomorrow to read and remind myself that I'm not Supermom. I'm human, and I deserve to cut myself a little slack.

::creepy internet stranger hugs for those of you also trying to remember this:: You're awesome.

CruiseGirl28 · March 2014

I'm mentally ready for her to be here. I keep getting my hopes up, only to be disappointed. But I have been very lucky and have felt fine this pregnancy. I'm trying to focus on that. Things will never be this easy again. I have luckily been sleeping great, so I'm enjoying that. Also, I have a very active baby and I'm going to miss when her kicks were on the inside.

Candileigh03 · March 2014

I keep reminding myself that I never have to endure this pregnancy again... I know that sounds horrible but my body has been through so much and the pregnancy has been hard. We are very thankful and blessed that God has given us this oppurtunity and our dtr really needed a sibling but I this can never happen again... I try to rely on bible verses and my faith. I also have a favorite quote from Patrick Swayze book, The time of my life.

Pain is nothing more than a sensation, and you can choose to give in to it, or control it.-

I keep reminding myself of this for when labor starts... It actually helped me a lot with my pain from ulcerative colitis and when my surgery to remove my colon.

SandiaLiz · March 2014

This is a great thread! I am really trying to enjoy this last little bit of time with just me and my wonderful husband. I know it will be great, but it will still change what we have now and it has been a fantastic couple of years! I also really like the idea of planning something fun for each day! I have an appointment on Monday that might include an eviction date so I think I will sit down that night and make a list!

Sanibel21 · March 2014

WoodShopGirl said:
@Sanibel21‌ if you like to read In Praise of Slowness is a good one. It talks about taking things one at a time and I found it a good read even though I am usually Miss 100 MPH.

During the week since I am still working it is easier to get through the day. The weekends are my challenges, but I feel setting small goals is helping. Like today I got all the laundry done and put it all away. So I got a donut. Small victories deserve small rewards, even if those victories are just the day to day.

I do like to read, especially things like this! I'm going to look into it in the morning. Thanks!

benevolentforce · March 2014

I'm impressed with everyone's good attitudes. I've been 100% fine until this weekend (today really), but am really having trouble being positive the last 24 hours. It's so unlike me it almost feels like it must just be hormonal.

In the end, I decided to let myself pity party today, but that tomorrow when I wake up I need to buck up and get my head back in the game. We'll see how this strategy works in the morning.

I'll have work to focus on so maybe that will help.

peachy0709 · March 2014

I'm a mess. I'm trying to be positive, but it really seems to be hour-by-hour. One minute I'm content waiting until she's ready to come on her own, the next I'm freaking out. I also kind of have a desire to hole up right now rather than be social, I just kind of want to be left alone. I'll work on my positivity though

Candileigh03 · March 2014

kcasset said:
I'm a mess. I'm trying to be positive, but it really seems to be hour-by-hour. One minute I'm content waiting until she's ready to come on her own, the next I'm freaking out. I also kind of have a desire to hole up right now rather than be social, I just kind of want to be left alone. I'll work on my positivity though

This/ I don't want to be around anyone I don't have to. Glad I'm not alone .

pepperedmoth · March 2014

I am going to reiterate that I really think it's normal and healthy and good to want to hole up and nest at this stage instead of going out and being super social.

Embrace it!

pepperedmoth · March 2014

There is absolutely an end coming, we just don't know when!

I've thought about how it would be if I had an induction or RCS date and I think that would be HARDER. I could watch it coming, but I think I would be more anxious.

I'm pretty happy thinking, "well, any day now, and it can't be much longer no matter how it goes...."

jennbaylor12 · March 2014

pepperedmoth said:
There is absolutely an end coming, we just don't know when!

I've thought about how it would be if I had an induction or RCS date and I think that would be HARDER. I could watch it coming, but I think I would be more anxious.

I'm pretty happy thinking, "well, any day now, and it can't be much longer no matter how it goes...."

I trying to go with this mentality..... This too shall pass

Pinecone21 · March 2014

To me, this waiting is easier than other waiting. At least with this, there is definitely going to be an end. When we were trying to conceive, there was no guarantee that I would ever get pregnant. When I was searching for a job, there was no guarantee I would ever find something in my field. I keep reminding myself that there WILL be a baby at the end of this!

Sanibel21 · March 2014

I have already accomplished a couple of small goals this am (washing sheets and bringing in a new area rug we've been airing out) and I'm going to call that a win. Anything else I get done will be considered a bonus. And I will not dwell on the fact that my baby is chilling inside still. Zennnnnnnnnnn

kkranberry · March 2014

I am having a hard time today. I went to bed last night with cramping on and off and then ds wouldn't let me sleep very well. I woke up with a terrible sore throat and achy body. I hope it isn't the flu. I totally don't want to talk to anyone or do anything, but my body hurts from sitting around too much. Okay vent over time to try being positive! Everything is finally ready and I only have one more week of work (or less if I want to stop earlier).

Sorry if my post drags anyone down, I really will try to be more positive!

ewallace00 · March 2014

I'm trying to put tasks into smaller buckets as well, to feel a sense of accomplishment from each one.

I'm thinking of labor and delivery as a temporary means to an end, and one that won't last more than a couple of days, even if it does hurt or may be stressful at first.

I also started to get overwhelmed last week as we began our nanny search. I thought "wow maybe I should be reading up on newborn care instead of adding this to the plate," but then just acknowledged to DH and to my mom that I was anxious about the entire nanny thing and was able to move forward. My mom and most of my aunts were SAHMs, so I don't know that much about nannies firsthand. But there are so many things in life I knew nothing about beforehand, then did some researched and mastered them too!

Lastly I'm trying to be as zen and positive thinking about breastfeeding as possible. I'm seeing a lot of struggles here on TB and know of some IRL, but I keep telling myself everything will work out and be just fine.

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Still pregnant and trying to be Zen not miserable. Anyone else? Come in!

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