No more monkeys jumping on the bed

Valie18 · February 2014

This is our first. Hopefully there will be more to come!

We've always agreed that we would have 2-4. Well, this pregnancy was rough enough on me at the beginning that I said this one might be an only child and DH was okay with that with the state I was in. But, things have improved. I'd like to start trying for the next before the LO is a year. I haven't done the math yet, but we have to time it properly to get the mat leave/benefits to work out.

If the second is as difficult as the first there are likely to be no more. If we feel like we need another, we're wanting a bigger gap between 2 and 3 and the timing will depend on what is going on in my career at the time.

b48kate · February 2014

Sareynoo said:
We were going to be done after this baby if she was a boy, but she definitely isn't. I really don't like being pregnant, it's miserable but I love having LOs. H wants his boy and I will keep popping em out until he gets him. Haha We will probably wait until I am finished with my degree and I have a nice income, H already has his career.. We are both still young. 24 and 25.. No rush.

Uh-oh! My MIL kept trying for the girl...five boys!

As for us, this is our first and may be very well be one and done. I think I have the oldest baby daddy on this BMB (the baby arrives one week before my husband's 49th birthday) so we are trying to plan to fund a college education and a retirement at the same time. If I push, I know I could get him to agree to a second in a couple years (at which time I'll be 37/38) but I'm not convinced that I want to go down that road...we shall see.

xnbride · February 2014

We take them one (or two ;-) at a time. We MAY be open to another but I have no idea what life with twins will be like.

Mrs_D_in_KY · February 2014

This will be our second child and we are done after this little guy gets here. I have been high risk for both pregnancies due to my high potential for preterm labor. I do not enjoy pregnancy and I am a nervous wreck the entire time. Plus DH and I both agree that raising two children will be plenty for us financially and man on man defense is what we prefer.

Were already discussing options on how to permanently stop us from being pregnant again. We will see how it goes. DH will probably go in for the big snip later in the year.

TonyaCody06 · February 2014

I really don't want to be done but we always said 4 and I'm not sure if I could handle more than that. We will be a nice even number with no "odd one out" so I am 98% sure we are done. I won't be getting a tubal but will get the mirena afterwards.

Kinipela7 · February 2014

We are not done, but this is our first. DH really wants just 2, but I feel like I may want 3, but definitely no more than 3. I do want to have them close in age, so we are talking about trying again when this little turns 1.

amwangel · February 2014

Temurlang1 said:
For everyone who wants one of the other gender, I do get that, and if I have two it would be great to have one of each. However, my grandfather was #13 after 12 girls, so I just think you have to take that idea off the table!

Heh. My mom was the oldest of 8 - 7 girls then a boy and I'm the oldest of 5- 4 girls then a boy!

I figure if I have another kid, I have a 50% chance of having a girl, whereas right now I have a 0%. But I'd never have another child JUST to try for a certain sex. That isn't fair to them! I'd have a child if I want another kid, period.

PinkKEL9 · February 2014

This is our first but we both really want a big family. At least four, but I would even be okay with five. Adoption is a big part of my life and I've known I wanted to adopt since I was a teenager. When DH and I were first getting serious we talked about that and he is on board with that. So maybe have 2 or 3 biologically and then adopt. Not necessarily in that order. We're taking it day by day.

kcartwright12 · February 2014

Originally I only wanted two, but now that we will have two I am not ready to say we're done. Hubby is completely open to more. We like to spread ours out by 5 yrs. I'm 31 now so that would put me at 36. Past experience, I suffer a miscarriage before being able to carry to full term. No idea why, but's it's happened twice and apparently same thing for my grandmother. That would be my last, if we go for one more.

MSUMands · February 2014

Great question! It's always interesting as pregnancy progresses, people are more/less likely to have more. Either "this sucks I'm done" or "I will miss this so much I need MOAR!"

I'm really torn about this. This is our second child and second boy, and DH and I would both like to have a girl. I have this strange feeling that #3 would be a boy as well. I'm leaning more towards 2, DH wants 3. If we have 3, we will have to move because our house is only 3 bedrooms. Our plan for now is to see how being a family of 4 goes (and my second C section recovery) before we make any rash decisions.

emandjp · February 2014

This is our last and both my husband and I agree 100%, two is perfect for us. There are a lot of factors that helped us decide but the main factor is my health. My mom passed away almost 9 years ago from breast cancer and we have a VERY strong family history of breast cancer and ovarian cancer-my mom did genetic testing and found out she had the gene mutation that can cause both of those cancers (BRCA2). My grandmother, great-aunt, mom, uncle, aunt and sister all have the gene mutation. My sister had surgery 8 years ago to remove her ovaries and is having a prophylactic mastectomy in the near future. I have yet to have any genetic testing done because I wanted kids and was afraid the results may have swayed me. Anyway, after #2 is a year old, I will get my test done. Obviously I hope it's negative (50/50 chance) but if it's positive, I will have surgery. It's drastic but I want to be around to see my daughters grow up.

wtfisup · February 2014

One was a big deal to is after years of not wanting kids. We're thrilled, but we knew she'd be solo when we started trying to project at what age she'd be independent and so on. Also, when we see families with multiple kids, it looks like more stress than we feel capable of handling healthily and happily. We both have careers and side projects and are worried about kids fracturing that as it is. One feels right. We also just don't have any friends (literally zero) with more than one, so it's pretty normal to us.

That said, we're planning to wait around 2 years at least before H gets a vasectomy just to be sure. But we're pretty damn sure.

MNOpea · February 2014

This is #2 and we still want 4 or 5.. But if you ask dh he says 10

I would however like to take them all 1 at a time, but we will see what happens. I would like them to all be about 2 years apart

becomingmommyagain · February 2014

This is my #4 but DHs #1. We had to do IVF to get this LO and still have 1 frozen embryo. We had talked about it before starting IVF. He's not comfortable with destruction of the embryo or donation to research purposes, and I'm not comfortable with donation to another family. So, it is likely that we'll be giving our frozen embryo a chance to come home with us. I actually dont mind being pregnant at all. I have a few risk factors, but they are all manageable.

My kids are all teenagers now. My oldest is graduating high school in 3 months and joining the military. I think the "weirdest" thing for me is having toddlers and adult children.

flerlgirl · February 2014

@emandjp, my mom, her mom, and her mom also had breast cancer so I totally understand why you would want to consider that surgery. I hope you are negative for the gene but I get why you would take what seems like a drastic step to be there for your kiddos.

Neuron79 · February 2014

We are really unsure. We did iui with my wife but we have 3 more vials stored at the cryobank in case I want to carry next. As a FTM, I have no clue what is in store for us but I'm actually okay with not carrying myself. I'd love her to carry the second. She on the other hand hates being pregnant so we shall see.

emandjp · March 2014

@flerlgirl Thank you! it's rare to find someone who understands why I would go through drastic surgeries...but when you see someone you love suffer so much, it makes you want to avoid that at any cost!

flerlgirl · March 2014

emandjp said:

@flerlgirl Thank you! it's rare to find someone who understands why I would go through drastic surgeries...but when you see someone you love suffer so much, it makes you want to avoid that at any cost!

__

Trapped in the quote box!! My mom tested negative for the gene but if she hadn't my husband and I had already discussed the possibility of me doing something similar in a few years. I don't think it's any more drastic than the surgery it would take to remove the cancer, personally. But, again, I really hope you don't have to worry about it!

ricecakes1216 · March 2014

Joining the conversation a bit late. I always wanted a big family. I am the youngest of four and loved growing up with my siblings. We all have such unique relationships that I love and want for my own family. Growing up I always thought I'd have four bio children and two adopted children. Now I am not sure that is in the cards for us.

We didn't have to go through IF treatments, but it took us a couple very emotional years to get here so I don't want to go through that emotional roller coaster over. We came very close to adopting this last summer and that is something that I would love to do later. H and I have discussed having one more bio child and then adopt or foster. But, who knows what is in our cards? I know that I want more but the question is what we can afford.

JBC2020 · March 2014

We want another as soon as possible. My older brother and I are 11 months apart and we were very close growing up. I really want that for my kids to.

However, we will have to see how my health is, and if I end up with a c-section or not.

After the second is born we will wait 2-3 years before starting again. Hopefully ending up with 4-6 kids. Continuing until we have 2 boys and 2 girls. Would be great if we could have a set of twins in there somewhere.

LilyGracesMommy · March 2014

This is #3 prior to conceiving we were still debating having any more then 2, I'm so happy my daughter will have a sister, but part of me would love 4. Although financially, 3 is plenty. DH is for sure done, but won't get snipped. I'm only 23 and DH 26, so I'm against anything permenant and BCPs don't agree with me, looking into the non hormonal copper IUD.

Basically we're done, but every time I see a newborn or one of my LOs hits a milestone;my uterus starts aching for another. Only time will tell I suppose

EmbracingChange · March 2014

We were done with 2, supposedly unable to have more due to flaws in my anatomy after DS came. We both came from 3 kid families and I always thought things were incomplete. It took me 4 years to prove a doctor wrong, accidentally, but here he comes.

nikki0808 · March 2014

This is our first, and we've talked about 3 or 4 total. I'd love them to be no more than 2 or 3 years apart from each other... However... it took us 5 years to get pg with this one. And, during this pregnancy we've found out I have an autonomic nervous system disorder which is causing some issues and I haven't been able to work since December because of it... So, whether or not that plan ever happens... I'm not sure.

gregsgurl81304 · March 2014

DH has always said two was the limit, and before we found out the gender of baby #2 I wasn't so sure. I said if LO was another boy then I didn't want to take any surgical measures of prevention because I was afraid that I would feel like I needed to try one more time to get my little girl. Now that we know for sure LO is a girl and because of the physical ailments pregnancy puts on my body, plus the financial factor, I am 100% positive I am done.

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