No more monkeys jumping on the bed

flerlgirl

Are you all done having kids? If so, how did you decide that? If not, do you have a timeline for when you want to have your next child(ren)? DH and I were discussing this today and while he is okay with stopping at two, I am less sure and I keep going back and forth. Obviously I have plenty of time to make this decision as I am both young and beautiful, but I'm just curious what your thoughts were. I think we discussed this wayyyy back in the fall, but I am interested to hear how the answers have (or haven't changed) - let's hear it!

jshrop

Yep, one and done still. I fucking hate being pregnant. If we EVER add to our family, it'll be through adoption.

ETA: however, I really think we are a single child family.

Mia081081

Done after this. We live in an expensive community and can only afford a 2-bedroom place for the foreseeable future. Two is good

JNerd

The plan has always been two kids, two years apart. Boy first, girl second.
Given how 'to the letter' things are going to the plan, I have to assume this LO is a girl.
Even if we get a boy, I am still done. I have only ever wanted two kids and don't see myself changing my mind. Hubby is less convinced and doesn't want us to take any permanent birth control options.

erind228

This is number three for us......I am not ready to say I am done.  My husband and I have discussed having four.  I think we are in a holding pattern. See how it goes with three, adn then make the decision.  If we do go for four, it will be fairly soon after this one. 

cspencer85

I am never doing this again lol

katekat8721

Not done yet, but with IF the answer isn't so simple.

I'm very lucky to have some frosties (frozen embryos) that we'll try using in the future. This is significantly cheaper than having to do a fresh cycle all over. If we had to do a fresh cycle then my answer may change since we were 100% OOP.

k2k2tog

Not done! And yes, I do have a timeline. I've been a little hesitant to talk about it too much, because so many variables and things I don't have control of can get in the way, right? But... I'm going back to school in September. It's a 2 year program, so when I finish, LO will be 2. I think it would perfect to have Baby #2 that summer. I'll then spend about 6 months or so recovering and job searching. As soon as I find a job, DH will go on paternity leave (I'm Canadian, so we get a year, which we can split however we like) for the remainder of the year. At the end of that year, he'll quit his job, assuming mine is enough to support us, which would allow him to focus on building his business while being a stay at home dad. 2 years or so later, we'll have Baby #3. And then maybe we'll be done, or we'll think about having one more. 

tbmadeamistake

I'm 90% sure we're done with this one, which is two total for us.  I hate being pregnant, and it's hard enough doing it now with one toddler running around, I cannot imagine doing it later with two of them running around!  That said, DH has decided he wants to wait a few more years before getting snipped.  I said if we decide for a third we can adopt...and he was VERY not on board with that idea...I will write more about that on throatpunch thursday thread because omg I nearly killed him last night for some of the shit that came out of his mouth. 

Sareynoo

We will probably wait until I am finished with my degree for more. We are both still young. 24 and 25.. No rush.

Rosebud2587

I would like to have 2 more but DH wants to stop after this one. If we decide to keep having kids I would like to try for #3 when this LO is around 9 months. I wanted LO1 and LO2 to be closer together but a deployment got in the way of that plan so that's why I'd like a closer timeframe for LO3. 

flerlgirl

I did not consider the many IVF/other special issues we have on this board, so my sincere apologies if this was insensitive to that! (no one said it was, but just in case!)

I honestly didn't even want children until I met DH. I was excited to have one and we had talked about having four at one point (this is when we were childless and had money, el oh el). DH says he is good with a boy and girl, which is what we will have when LO arrives. I am just so unsure! I don't want to take any permanent steps just yet because I'm afraid we'll change our minds and regret it. But I do like two... man-on-man defense is important... 

Of course, our plan after DS and his craziness was to wait at least four years before thinking of trying for a second, soooooo obviously my plans and ideas have no bearing whatsoever. 

Damnliz

This is also #3 for us. I'm about 75% sure it's the last but I'm only 32 and not ready to make a permanent decision.

Pepper6

We're very decided on only having two.  The only way we'll end up with 3 is if my next pregnancy is twins, but either way, H is getting snipped very shortly after the last one is born (as in during my recovery time from childbirth).  We'll probably wait till DD is 2 before we start trying again, I don't want them too close in age, but I don't want them too far either.

MissBHaven1024

3 was always the "magic" number for us. Now that we are pregnant with our 3rd, I'm not ready to completely close the door on the chapter of growing the family, but we're 90% certain this is it. I'm 28 and DH is 30, so we still have time to make a firm choice, so we'll see.

texasmama2014

We want 3.  This is #1, I'm thinking we'll have them over the next 4-5 years or so...  No set plan.  Maybe 2 years apart, but the best laid plans often fail!

Jennylou0604

Agree with @LoHerrim on that it's too hard on my body.  We'll be done after this one (#2 for us).  With my first I was in and out of the hospital from 27 weeks until I delivered at 37 with horrible blood pressure issues; this time I'm having heartbeat issues.  I don't think my heart could take much more!  

nunzchucks

Done after this one. I wasn't even sure I wanted two for awhile. I'm ready to just know that this is our family of four and this is who we will be with forever. Also, DD has been having a hellish week so I think I can only handle one more two year old in my life time.

MrsP419

I am 99% sure I am done.  I always wanted four kids (and I had this weird idea that I wanted 4 by 32, since I started early- I had DD at 23), and here I am getting four kids by 28.  Welcome to crazy town!  However, even if my twinnies are a c-section, I am not ready to get my tubes tied, even though the doctors and some family members are pushing it.  I feel like something THAT permanent is not something I am comfortable with at my age, just in case.  We are just going to have to figure out some really good birth control method.

elsa1688

I want a big family (like 4-5 kids). We will see where life takes us. I want to start TTC after a year-ish. My friend is due late July and wants to start TTC #2 after 5 months

owlcup

Im 95% done. I don't think my sanity could handle a fourth. This baby will make 3u4. DH wants one more. If we do decide on another it will happen when DD and DS are in school full time. So when newbie is 3ish?

babygabe614

We are not done. This is our first, and we will have at least one more. I would like to have 3 but DH says there is no way he can afford college for 4 children (he's got a 9 y/o son) so we'll see. I think financially we could handle 3 but mentally... not so sure.

mattanda2011

I do not feel done with this one. WE have always talked about 4 being our magic number.

These two will be 15-16 months apart, and I definitely want to take more of a break before having more. My ideal would be to have #3 when our first enters JrK or Kinder, and then have 2 really close again.

So we would be looking at having like ages 6, 5, and then 2, 1 or something like that. Obviously much of this is out of my control. If after having 2 we decide we only want one more, I would probably look at having like a 2 year gap to keep them all close in age. 

DaisyHeadMayzie

I'm fairly sure that I want to be done after this one.  When I pictured my future, I always saw myself with two kids.  DH is begging me not to rule out the possibility of a third.  He really wants to try for 3.  However, I can't imagine paying for three in daycare, so we won't be having the conversation for at least another 2 years.

Then...I have to consider our ages.  In 3 years I will be almost 35 and he 42.  Do I really want to start over again, especially with the added risks with my age?

curlylocks3

We still have one frozen embryo left, and while part of me thinks this pregnancy has been too much on me and I couldn't do it again, the other part recognizes that a singleton pregnancy would be very different. I also am feeling more and more like I wouldn't be ok just leaving Adelie (embryo #3) on ice. I think realistically that in 3-4 years we'd do another FET. If it didn't work we would not be doing another fresh IVF cycle though. 

Savvy122

I'm 99% sure we're done after this guy (he'll be #2).  Financially, it makes the most sense.  It was tough for us to decide to have a second, and even though I always imagined having three kids, I'm kind of content with the little family of four we're about to be.

Friends and family, however, are not as content with our decision.  I've been asked multiple times why I don't want to try for a girl.  Um, because my family planning does not revolve around what type of genitals my offspring is born with?

flerlgirl

@ugabamafans, we can be weirdos together because that is how I feel. I am 27 and DH is almost 29; I just hate to decide to be totally done with such a huge part of our lives. But at the same time, with our living and financial situation, it's unrealistic to try for another sooner than two or three years from now. And the extra time between pregnancies adds to the risk of pre-e since I am already at a high risk for it. So then I think no, having another would be a bad idea all around. But thennn I bought DS and LO matching outfits to wear for the 4th of July and decided I want 323 children. 

jacksoha

This is our first. I still want four but I'm open to adopting some of our kids. DH is much more skeptical about having more than two. He wants to take it one at a time, which I'm perfectly fine with.
If we have four I would like them about two years apart.

hlp2709

We are done with two. Way back before husband and I talked about it and said two was all we want. We want to help with college and other things the kids may need. We come from a small family so I think two is all we want.

flerlgirl

Savvy122 said:

Friends and family, however, are not as content with our decision.  I've been asked multiple times why I don't want to try for a girl.  Um, because my family planning does not revolve around what type of genitals my offspring is born with?

Haha, my mom is the same way. Not that we won't have one of each, but that she needs allthegrandkids. But I know my sister wants at least four and my brother probably has several children running around that not even he knows about, so I think she will have plenty of grandkids. 

catsinawindow

We're pretty sure we'd like at least one more child after this one, maybe 2 more (3-4 total). But we also want to be done by the time I'm 35 and we don't want our kids any closer than 2-3 years apart. I'm 29 now so a third will be do-able. We'll have to see on the fourth.

hjl050308

This is our third and last. I'm 38, DH is almost 39. Also the expense of 4 would probably be too much.

Savvy122

flerlgirl said:

Savvy122 said:

Friends and family, however, are not as content with our decision.  I've been asked multiple times why I don't want to try for a girl.  Um, because my family planning does not revolve around what type of genitals my offspring is born with?

Haha, my mom is the same way. Not that we won't have one of each, but that she needs allthegrandkids. But I know my sister wants at least four and my brother probably has several children running around that not even he knows about, so I think she will have plenty of grandkids. 

First of all, I know this really isn't funny but it made me LOL.

I invite anyone who pressures me to have more than two children to pay for their childcare and college expenses.  I would love to pop out all kinds of kids (and make boys AND girls, squeee!) but I'd also like to be able to actually, you know, provide for my kids.  Call me crazy.

MamaTree17

We've always talked about having 3 but we know we definitely want to adopt and I don't think I'm ready for this to be my last pregnancy. So maybe 4? Financially that will be hard but time will tell. These two will be 21 months apart which I like but if #3 is one I give birth to, I think we'd space a little further.

Edit: two and to confuse me apparently

Laurelyn2012

This is our first and we are not done yet.  The plan is to try for a second when this LO is a year. We are on the fence about having a third and it will be dependent on how we are doing financially and how my body handles pregnancy.

amwangel

Oh, man. This conversation is so interesting! 

I thought I wanted 3, but then had 2 miscarriages after my first and it was just sooooo stressful this time that I don't know if I can handle another pregnancy with so much anxiety (not to mention more miscarriages...I've been pregnant on and off for a year now). 

My husband is on the same page - though he really wants a daughter and we're having our second son, so that makes us both sorta want a third...though I'd never ever "try" for a girl- I'd have to be comfortable taking the TTC/loss gamble in order to a CHILD to our family - whatever sex it may be. My husband is the youngest of 3 boys and is wonderful, so I figure raising 3 boys could be pretty fun.

We don't want our kids closer than 2 years (3 is ideal - but obviously we learned that we can't plan everything!), so that means we have some time to decide. 

mschware

I would love to have another one, but if/when we do I would need to be a SAHM and not working during pregnancy. It's too hard on my body. I was lucky enough to only have classes during the first trimester, but even now in the 2nd trimester I am dying working 40 hours a week. But if I stop working we won't have enough money to pay for a 2nd child so my DH would either need a new job or a raise... Which both are very possible so we'll see! Still so young!

Mom&nurse

I feel stuck. This is my first biological. I was told when I was 12 I would not have children. No luck with my exhusband and my SO and I got pregnant after trying for only a few months. He already had 4 kids so this will be 5 for him. We both come from big blended families. Me 7 and him 6. So this is norm to me. But his family keeps telling us not to have anymore.

First off. Excuse me. Who the hell are you anyways. He pays for his kids. Works his ass off for them. Is a full time dad as well. We do just fine.

We may never have a fancy house or fancy cars. Yes our kids share rooms. So did most of the generations before me.

If it was up to me and SO had no kids. I would say 3-4 kids. But am I being selfish if I want 2 at least. His oldest are 13 & 14 so in 5 years they are 18 & 19. Then we would have them all 5 years apart. 19 18 15 10 5 and new baby. Seems crazy ? I just want siblings who are the same. I had my brother and we are important to each other.

Preggochic86

I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I hate being pregnant too. The movement is nice but the rest of it sucks. Glad I'm not alone

BMaidPlanner

Every time I read on this thread that someone wrote "I don't like being pregnant" or some form of that, I feel better. My mother said to me after me telling her I fell asleep at like 9pm one night with a bad headache and still feel nauseous all day (after she ASKED how I was feeling) this: "I hope you get to a point where you're feeling better because you really should be enjoying your pregnancy." This made me feel (thanks, hormones) like a complete failure and I simultaneously wanted to throatpunch her.

Anywho, I am NOT enjoying pregnancy and DH keeps saying, "This may be my only shot!" because 1- I'm not getting any younger and 2- We may be one and done. I am not opposed to adoption, not sure if he is, but I do know that we're having a girl and he has always dreamed of having a son. We'll see.

BrooknCory

Just one pregnancy at a time. I'm no unicorn but this has been fun. A whole new world.

I want a least two kids. Only children are weird...saying this coming from a family of 6!

Everything hinges on money. I am going to be a stay at home mom and small business owner so we will see what the future holds.