Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: !¡! FFFC !¡!
I just love how you post this right in the middle of our hate for first tri chick. HAHA.
@ALHickok1 not sure if anyone suggested this but you can also click the <> box in the Leave a reply box and it will let you post. But there won't be paragraph spacing (learned this when I responded to a check-in).Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
We love the shit out of you, Dorothy.
I don't even know Dorothy and I was ready to slap this bitch. How dare she? I mean, how the fuck dare she? Such ignorance crammed into one person should be illegal. I couldn't believe some of the stupidity coming out of her fingers.
Eta: not sure what happened with that quote fail
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
Good to know @slappalicious thanks! Otherwise I'd probably freeze up and run out of Starbucks crying
I also can't believe I read all that shit about the idiot of 1st trimester. I really hope she's a troll because that was some really mean stuff. I'm 39 and had 2 trisomy babies and 2 other unknown Mc's. Even if she is fake that's just wrong to say.
I wanted to comment on it but I didn't want to keep reiterating what was already said.
First of all, big hugs to @dorothyzbornak97 You rock, girl! My mom had kids later in life, me when she was 36 and my brother when she was 39. That girl was so fucking ignorant.
Second of all, when/if I get pregnant I don't want to find out the sex of the baby. I want it to be a surprise. I've discussed this with friends and they were all appalled like: "How can you be prepared?!" etc. etc. I just said what's wrong with buying gender neutral everything? I want to paint the nursery yellow, buy gender neutral clothes for the time being... to which I got the response: "Well if it's a girl, don't you want bows and pink and girly stuff? And blue stuff if it's a boy?" I said, yeah of course I do.... but I didn't know you couldn't go shopping for baby clothes AFTER the baby is born?!
Like seriously, wtf? There is no rule saying you can't go out and buy clothes after your child is born. So I really find nothing wrong with not having "headbands" and "football onesies" prior to the baby's arrival.
BFP: 6/4/14 EDD: 2/11/15
Regarding VEs - I am VERY gentle when performing vag exams. I know from my personal experience with a natural birth how uncomfortable they are. Many of the male OB doctors just ram their hand up there like they are reaching for the patient's tonsils!
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
Formerly Aaren91011
Maybe some day my luck runs out and some crazy decides to do something nasty because they hate redheads. Or steal my drugs and give me hepititis in the process. I realize that most have a good heart and want to help, but it's stuff like this that creeps me out.
Thanks for contributing to that 'n all. Way to stick to the Hippocratic oath.
@Shannon1401 Of course I medicate my patients when they are in pain, but for the few that are jerks, waiting an extra 15 minutes (in addition to 15 minutes for IV bolus which is standard for ALL patients) is not going to kill them. I must be doing something right if patients are requesting for me to care for them during their stay. I bust my ass for my patients. You have no idea.
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
Being a jerk and waiting 15 extra minutes...maybe. Making a teen mom who is probably 10x more scared than the other moms wait just because they are a teen? Go fuck yourself all day long.
Regarding VEs - I am VERY gentle when performing vag exams. I know from my personal experience with a natural birth how uncomfortable they are. Many of the male OB doctors just ram their hand up there like they are reaching for the patient's tonsils!
Meh, I still think it's shitty. Why make them wait at all? That is your job. I don't care if they are being a bitch or not.
@Shannon1401 Of course I medicate my patients when they are in pain, but for the few that are jerks, waiting an extra 15 minutes (in addition to 15 minutes for IV bolus which is standard for ALL patients) is not going to kill them. I must be doing something right if patients are requesting for me to care for them during their stay. I bust my ass for my patients. You have no idea.
****quote****
BS, you're trying to justify being unprofessional and unethical. What if everyone tried to fuck people over using their job position to do so?
I work in a bank. What happens if I decide I don't like your face, so I lose your transactions, hold up a booking, or charge you 'I don't like you" fees? You'd report me and I'd be fired. I would deserve it too. And don't think I don't understand your delicate hurt feelers, because people get nasty over money. I've been called every name in the book, and I didn't once mishandle accts because of some fucked up sense of vengence.
Edit: I try to believe in the goodness of humanity so to hear that someone would withhold an epidural from a teen just because they are a teen blows my mind!
No, not just teens in general. Teens being jerks.
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
I get wanting to fuck with someone just a little bit when they're an asshole to you. I used to work at Starbucks. That total asshole who was always a total asshole (and really fucking creepy until he was banned because he exposed himself to my co-worker in the drive-thru), he may have had to wait a couple extra minutes for his latte when there was no one behind him because it was a tiny way to punish him in our small capacity for doing so. I'm nice to waitstaff. I actually was pretty good when I waited, but do I know that if you're an ass and catch someone on a bad night they can hold your food up. Both sides of that equation are being jerks, though.
Difference in these and nursing: I wasn't withholding treatment to someone who may be in a massive amount of pain (for them). We didn't take a Starbucks class in ethics or take an oath. I don't care if it's for 15 minutes, if you don't have a good reason for it (like you're legit waiting for the anes) then you're withholding treatment. And that's not your job and not your call to make (unless you are legitimately making a call on medical evidence).
However, if you're withholding from some scared 16-year-old who was terrified to ask her parents about birth control and had ill advised sex with an inexperienced boy who didn't put on a condom correctly, just because she happens to be a teenager just sounds nasty and antagonistic. Like some sort of need to punish them. And that's really fucked up and you should probably try to understand what on earth your motivation is for leaving a scared child in pain.
Me-31, H-27
**Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
**Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25**
Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14
SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall.
Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed.
9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014
BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000!
U/S #1, 12/23: gestational sac, possible heartbeat
U/S #2, 12/30: HEARTBEAT! 128bpm, measuring right on at 7w EDD: 8/19/2015
U/S #3, 1/9: BPM in the 180s, IT'S HAPPENING!!!
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
I don't agree with the premise of withholding drugs but I get why you would want to. I personally would not but I understand dealing with jerks. I want to add that pain can really make people act like jerks when they aren't normally. When I was in labor the nurses could have thought I was a jerk because I was too exhausted to answer their questions. I'm sure you already know this but thought I'd reiterate.
It does make me feel better knowing you're not singling out teens like it first sounded. Thanks for clarifying.
Me: 28 H: 28 DS: 4
Trinitrotoluene: "My ears have been deflowered ....my mouth just hasn't been!"
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014