Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Stupid Questions Thread
Baby Girl Born: April 2014
If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you:
Delaying the first bath is actually beneficial: https://www.bestforbabes.org/booby-traps-series-why-the-newborn-bath-should-wait
We ended up accidentally delaying DDs bath because I wanted my GF to give her the bath. Unfortunately she had to take state boards that day and never made it to the hospital. We made it nearly 48 hrs before the nurse and her student insisted she have a bath, and I gave in. GF showed up shortly after...
Before the foley ball or breaking the waters you might consider having your membranes stripped or having a cervix ripening cream/gel applied. I can't remember the name of the cream but it has hormones in it that soften the cervix to get it ready for labor.
In my opinion, starting an induction by only breaking the waters seems like a harsh method that has a high likelyhood of leading to other interventions.
BFP#2 7/28/13 EDD 4/9/14 Birthday : 4/10/14 Adalyn Nanette
There are a lot of skin changes. I get skin tags with each pregnancy. Keep an eye on the moles - if they get much bigger, multicolor or oddly shaped, have them professionally examined. Not to try to scare you, but the hormones of pregnancy woke up a latent tendency towards skin cancer for a friend of mine with both of her pregnancies.
Thanks, was thinking i would wait until after pregnancy since i figure they won't be able to do anything about them now. But i guess i should at least have them checked out.
1. Does it matter what kind of stain/spot treatment remover is used on baby's stuff? I am using All Free and Clear and no fabric softener for washing, but wasn't sure about pre-treating.
2. How should I wash the plastic toys//teethers? Do I just wash with regular dish detergent and rinse?
1. I have read a lot of people talk about their repeat c-sections. So if you've had a c-section in the past do they not let you attempt a vaginal birth? I'm sure it's different for everyone but i just see a lot of the whole "repeat c-section" being said.
2. All the lists of what to bring in the hospital bag say to bring pads. Am I to expect something like a full on period or just spotting after the birth? And how long does it last?
Thanks in advance!
1. VBAC (vaginal birth after c -section) is not allowed by every OB since it requires a lot more attention and can be dangerous (previous scars opening and what not) and most OB will go straight for RCS since it is "safer"
2. there will be heavier than period bleeding they will actually provide you with mega pads (think size of an adult diaper) for at least the first day and then the bleeding will be equal to a heavy period after that. Your placenta was just ripped from your uterus its like an open wound so it will bleed for CS or VB. as for how long it lasts, this differs for everyone. can be 3-8 weeks from what I hear.
BFP#2 7/28/13 EDD 4/9/14 Birthday : 4/10/14 Adalyn Nanette
2- they make baby dish detergent, but it's really the normal stuff watered down more.
2- it's a HEAVY period for several days before letting up. Where the placenta detaches from your ute is essentially an open, though internal, wound. Plus there's a lot of stuff to flush out.
You do not want to know what I thought a VBAC was lol. Not that I need to worry about that since I'm a FTM but I was just curious.
And thank you for the 2nd answer as well. Doesn't seem pleasant..... but at least I'm better prepared now!
April '14 Siggy Challenge:
Seriously, Baby 411 is the BEST. I give it to every single pregnant friend. Big fan of Toddler 411, too! And like @poru said, definitely buy the hard copies.
My poor body
Those were the words used by my birthing class instructor. A contraction forces them apart and it leaves you with an open wound. Not to scare you and they said you won't really feel that part just regurgitating my learnings
BFP#2 7/28/13 EDD 4/9/14 Birthday : 4/10/14 Adalyn Nanette
April '14 Siggy Challenge:
https://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2011/07/top-ten-reasons-why-3-is-worse-than-2.html
Then we had you.
Now we are complete.
My poor body
Those were the words used by my birthing class instructor. A contraction forces them apart and it leaves you with an open wound. Not to scare you and they said you won't really feel that part just regurgitating my learnings
If all is going normally, I think "gently detaches" is a better description. Evidently, some caregivers will apply "umbilical traction" which can end up being like ripping the placenta out. This is generally NOT a good thing. I'm not sure if that's standard practice at my hospital, put I'm putting in my birth plan that they should not do any umbilical traction.
As my doula described it to me, as soon as you give birth, your uterus starts to shrink back to its smaller size. As this happens, the placenta will detach naturally and pretty quickly because the space it was attached to just gets smaller. It's not a violent ripping, but there is still some open wound-ness to it.
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
Then I peed on a stick...