April 2014 Moms

Stupid Questions Thread

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Re: Stupid Questions Thread

  • Has anyone else reached a point where if you aren't standing perfectly straight up the underwire in your bra is resting on the top of your belly and irritating the crap out of it? I'm having an impossible time finding something budget-friendly without underwire but I'm about to drop the cash now that the burning/bruising feeling is still there without a bra on. There are times I can't even stand a tshirt touching the skin.
    At first I thought it was poorly fitted bras but turns out that wasn't the case. I'm just carrying high and the slightest lean forward makes boob/belly connection.
    I've been in sports bras since week 12

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  • Thanks everyone for sharing about how you are dealing with families and boundaries.  My mom will be our child care when I go back to work, and I'm not worried about her at all - because she knows that I will freely speak my mind with her.

    I'm a little more concerned about my MIL, especially with screen time (though she lives across the country and we prob won't have to deal with this too often - but it still bugs me).  She has a 22 month granddaughter, and for most of her life, "grammie" would primarly entertain her by showing her videos and pictures on her iPhone.  Now the kid totally spazzes out and ignores everything else if she sees anyone's iPhone b/c she needs it.  I don't want my LO to be like that.

    On an unrelated note, is anyone else having tailbone pain (thank you for not flaming on this thread - I know I am not a SS and the only one having it)?  I'm assuming it's related to everything else stretching, but I never thought I would be sore sitting. 

  • Thanks for the info/advice on screen time. 

    My plan is no cell phones/ipads for as long as we can avoid it, and I guess that will just have to be a hard boundary with MIL.

  • I have one!!!

    I just don't understand induction and why it's done if the woman and child are not at risk (mind you, I'm hoping for as natural as possible with little to no intervention). Is there a certain point where I would have no choice but to be induced (without any kind of complications)? Will I always be able to say no of they suggest breaking my water, pitocin, etc...? I mean, she will come out eventually won't she?
  • Eija3014 said:

    I have one!!!

    I just don't understand induction and why it's done if the woman and child are not at risk (mind you, I'm hoping for as natural as possible with little to no intervention). Is there a certain point where I would have no choice but to be induced (without any kind of complications)? Will I always be able to say no of they suggest breaking my water, pitocin, etc...? I mean, she will come out eventually won't she?

    Basing this completely off the word of my ob since I am a FTM, but after a while the placenta doesn't produce as well and your fluid will drop. This could lead to an increased risk of still birth.
  • STMs + do you have any baby tub recommendations? Are any better than others or am I fine with one of the really cheap tubs until LO is big enough for our actual bath tub.
  • @hordol - I think we have the same ILs! MORE IS MORE, even if it's all crap. I'd say a good 60-80% of all gifts we receive from them get donated (or, if possible, returned...rare). With DD, they are pretty good about getting a few items off her list, but then it's like 10 other things that we don't want or need junking up our house. I am very lucky that DH is almost always on the same page as me when it comes to his parents. It helps that he always hated growing up in a house packed with junk and doesn't want a bunch of cheap toys and knick-knacks filling up our home. He is really big about trying to make things fair (MIL thinks she's in constant competition with my parents -- I think half of her buying compulsions when it comes to DD is an attempt to one up my parents), so we try really hard to say "we're asking each set of grandparents to limit the number of presents to 4 this year." So far, that hasn't worked wonders, but, for example, we were able to say this Xmas, "we asked you to limit your gifts and we're disappointed you didn't respect that request." We've also started saying that we will leave some of the gifts at their home for her to play with when she visits, just to limit what comes home with us (I have a feeling this isn't going to work next year which is why we plan on getting a little more militant). Obviously, I don't think your concerns are unfounded at all, and I don't think it's tacky to ask them to tone it down! I can understand that it's hard for your husband to say something to them though -- or to see their gift pile as generous instead of obnoxious. Question -- does he like the gifts he receives from them? That's one advantage I have; DH is definitely of the "I'd rather get nothing than have to pretend to love this cheap polyester dress shirt I'll never wear." Also...are your ILs religious at all? I plan on playing up the "Jesus only received 3 gifts on Christmas" / "we want to focus more on the spiritual aspects of Christmas rather than material aspects" next year. MIL is super religious and thinks I'm a heathen, so I'm hoping that angle might work, too!
    Thanks so much! DH is never terribly excited about their gifts (this past Christmas one thing they got him was a teenage mutant ninja turtle doll and we were both like...wtf...) but he doesn't find them as obnoxious as I do. He says his parents do it to overcompensate because they didn't have a lot of extra money growing up so they would go overboard at Christmas. And maybe it just bugs me because my family traditions are so different. My parents are like, "Here's your one present!" (when we were kids it was different, but they do not buy a multitude of presents for their adult children and they only buy 2-3 for their grandchildren.)

    My inlaws are religious so I do like the "Jesus only received three gifts" thing--I'll bring that up to my DH and see what he thinks. But seriously, between just DH and I at Christmas our car is filled to the brim with junk we have to take home and I HATE CLUTTER SO MUCH because none of it is practical stuff. With a kid and a smallish house that will probably already be overcome with toys, the idea of 500 more toys from the inlaws at Christmas just really gives me anxiety, haha. But even though DH knows it's a little overboard, he still doesn't see it as as big of an issue as I do. His house was always cluttered with random crap growing up so it just doesn't bother him.
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  • Pack and pack sheets? DS always slept in his crib from the start. This LO will be in the pack and play in our room at night. My question is do I need a sheet? I want her to be comfortable but never used the pack and play as a bassinet bbefore.
  • STMs + do you have any baby tub recommendations? Are any better than others or am I fine with one of the really cheap tubs until LO is big enough for our actual bath tub.

    We like the big cheap blue one with the "baby water hammock" insert (my word for it; not sure how the manufacturer describes it). It does take up a bunch of space, but it saves you on water usage and I was not a fan of sink baths (we just don't have a great sink for it).
    image
    DD 2/21/2012 & DS 4/1/2014
  • spano41spano41 member
    edited February 2014

    aviola329 said:
    ashcole28 said:
    Pack and pack sheets? DS always slept in his crib from the start. This LO will be in the pack and play in our room at night. My question is do I need a sheet? I want her to be comfortable but never used the pack and play as a bassinet bbefore.
    I registered for pack and play sheets....I plan to double up with the water proof pads like people were suggesting for the crib too. I don't think you absolutely NEED sheets for it, but they make clean up easier...
    If the pack n play is where you plan on LO sleeping every night you will probably want to invest in a pack n play mattress too because the mattresses that come with it are really really thin.  I also registered for a mattress pad cover and sheets because I want to protect the mattress.  It's not like the baby will die if they don't have sheets but it will get pretty gross after a while and you will have no way to wash it.
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  • FWIW, we used our PNP a ton with DD (she slept in it at night for 3 mo and took naps in there longer than that), and we never felt the need to buy a separate mattress for the PNP. I didn't even realize they sold those. We used a mattress pad and muslin a+a swaddle blankets as sheets (the boutique size easily tucked under the pad and mattress).
    image
    DD 2/21/2012 & DS 4/1/2014
  • The "mattress" for the PNP is plastic. I know I wouldn't want to sleep on cold plastic, so I'm a big fan of the sheets. We like the quilted ones.

    We were looking at the quilted ones yesterday and DH said he thought they felt too fluffy and wouldn't fit tight on the mattress. Then he got all freaked out by SIDS or the baby suffocating in the quilted sheet and said no way. I think he overreacted a bit, but at least I know he's listening when I talk about safe sleep!

    General consensus seems that the quilted are the way to go?

     

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  • FTM here, but @MrsStanton87 from what I've heard, if you're feeling hiccups down low, that's more than likely where baby's head is located. I can actually feel the hiccups strongly low in my pelvis and less so higher up, where Peanut's back/butt are located.  
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  • Has anyone else reached a point where if you aren't standing perfectly straight up the underwire in your bra is resting on the top of your belly and irritating the crap out of it? I'm having an impossible time finding something budget-friendly without underwire but I'm about to drop the cash now that the burning/bruising feeling is still there without a bra on. There are times I can't even stand a tshirt touching the skin.
    At first I thought it was poorly fitted bras but turns out that wasn't the case. I'm just carrying high and the slightest lean forward makes boob/belly connection.

    Check out my 2 favorite sites:

    Big Girl Bras: https://www.biggerbras.com
    Lady Grace: https://www.ladygrace.com

    They have all sorts of sizes, and many inexpensive soft cup options.
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  • spano41spano41 member
    edited February 2014
    The general consensus in the medical field is that the placenta begins deteriorating around 40w, and by 42w is no longer doing it's job effectively (paraphrasing somewhat what I remember from my first pregnancy). So past 42w it's generally not considered safe or healthy for the baby to stay inside any longer. Assuming no other risk factors of course, like health issues for the mother that may impact the baby. Vaginal births are still preferred over sections for the health and safety of both baby and mother, so instead of just having a section, the mother is induced. That is my totally non-expert explanation of inductions, to the best of my understanding.
    Adding to this. From what I understand from friends in the medical field, my OB ad Bradley instructor, it's problematic to say the placenta isn't working effectively because - like so many things in pregnancy - there have been no studies done on the deterioration rate of the placenta because they won't let mothers go beyond a certain point in pregnancy for fear of malpractice etc. Yes, the placenta is preparing to no longer be necessary, but there isn't actually any data to say "past 42 weeks your baby is at risk because your placenta isn't functioning well." Again, I'm not an expert, this is just what I've goin out by poking around and having lots of contacts in the infant medical field. I plan on doing everything I can to push off being induced as long as possible.
    Also, the rate of still birth doubles after you hit 42 weeks for whatever reason....maybe placenta related, maybe not....so most doctors don't want to take chances risking a still birth.  Granted, the rate goes from slim, to slightly less slim, but it does increase drastically.

    ETA: I looked up the stats in Expecting 411 and they say the risk goes from 3:1000 to 7:1000....again, saying it doubles in correct but the chance it will happen only increases by 0.4%, it just depends on how you want to look at it.
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  • spano41 said:
    The general consensus in the medical field is that the placenta begins deteriorating around 40w, and by 42w is no longer doing it's job effectively (paraphrasing somewhat what I remember from my first pregnancy). So past 42w it's generally not considered safe or healthy for the baby to stay inside any longer. Assuming no other risk factors of course, like health issues for the mother that may impact the baby. Vaginal births are still preferred over sections for the health and safety of both baby and mother, so instead of just having a section, the mother is induced. That is my totally non-expert explanation of inductions, to the best of my understanding.
    Adding to this. From what I understand from friends in the medical field, my OB ad Bradley instructor, it's problematic to say the placenta isn't working effectively because - like so many things in pregnancy - there have been no studies done on the deterioration rate of the placenta because they won't let mothers go beyond a certain point in pregnancy for fear of malpractice etc. Yes, the placenta is preparing to no longer be necessary, but there isn't actually any data to say "past 42 weeks your baby is at risk because your placenta isn't functioning well." Again, I'm not an expert, this is just what I've goin out by poking around and having lots of contacts in the infant medical field. I plan on doing everything I can to push off being induced as long as possible.
    Also, the rate of still birth doubles after you hit 42 weeks for whatever reason....maybe placenta related, maybe not....so most doctors don't want to take chances risking a still birth.  Granted, the rate goes from slim, to slightly less slim, but it does increase drastically.
    And of course if you google, you only hear of the ones that are born still at around 42 weeks rather than the ones that are perfectly fine after that time period - I think the info is very skewed!

    That said, being PGAL I am terrified of going overdue - my head knows that its most likely fine and the risk is minimal, but I just cant bring myself to go later than 42 weeks. So while I will do almost anything to avoid induction, I will be induced at 41.5 at the latest (this is set by the hospital, not me)
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  • Jesster11 said:

    Re. Screen Time/iPhones/iPads - And I just saw this:

    https://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20790237,00.html

    That is what I want to avoid.

    There are plenty of ways to avoid situations like that, or cut the tantrum off at the pass.
    If my child was that obsessed with the iPad, there would be no more iPad. Educational use or not.

    This is us completely. DS always wants our phone, or to play on our laptop, rather than play with his own things. We have no problem telling him NO when we need it ourselves and/or it's not a good time, and he'll generally express his displeasure, at which point we ask him if he'd like a time out. That usually kills the tantrum in its tracks. He may fuss here and there over it, but we stick to our guns. Period. He learns boundaries, and we get to take advantage of some of the available educational stuff for him. It's a win-win.
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  • So Fort Hood has a class offered once a month that is with certified car seat people that teach you how to install the car seat properly. I am due April 30th and the class is April 11th. Does anyone think this is too early? I'm not sure how early the car seat should be installed.
  • @bacorrea said:

    So Fort Hood has a class offered once a month that is with certified car seat people that teach you how to install the car seat properly. I am due April 30th and the class is April 11th. Does anyone think this is too early? I'm not sure how early the car seat should be installed.

    I see no harm in doing it early- especially if it means it's done right! Plus, at 38w they wouldn't stop labor if it started.
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  • jgreig83jgreig83 member
    edited February 2014
    vidkeo said:
    spano41 said:
    The general consensus in the medical field is that the placenta begins deteriorating around 40w, and by 42w is no longer doing it's job effectively (paraphrasing somewhat what I remember from my first pregnancy). So past 42w it's generally not considered safe or healthy for the baby to stay inside any longer. Assuming no other risk factors of course, like health issues for the mother that may impact the baby. Vaginal births are still preferred over sections for the health and safety of both baby and mother, so instead of just having a section, the mother is induced. That is my totally non-expert explanation of inductions, to the best of my understanding.
    Adding to this. From what I understand from friends in the medical field, my OB ad Bradley instructor, it's problematic to say the placenta isn't working effectively because - like so many things in pregnancy - there have been no studies done on the deterioration rate of the placenta because they won't let mothers go beyond a certain point in pregnancy for fear of malpractice etc. Yes, the placenta is preparing to no longer be necessary, but there isn't actually any data to say "past 42 weeks your baby is at risk because your placenta isn't functioning well." Again, I'm not an expert, this is just what I've goin out by poking around and having lots of contacts in the infant medical field. I plan on doing everything I can to push off being induced as long as possible.
    Also, the rate of still birth doubles after you hit 42 weeks for whatever reason....maybe placenta related, maybe not....so most doctors don't want to take chances risking a still birth.  Granted, the rate goes from slim, to slightly less slim, but it does increase drastically.
    And of course if you google, you only hear of the ones that are born still at around 42 weeks rather than the ones that are perfectly fine after that time period - I think the info is very skewed!

    That said, being PGAL I am terrified of going overdue - my head knows that its most likely fine and the risk is minimal, but I just cant bring myself to go later than 42 weeks. So while I will do almost anything to avoid induction, I will be induced at 41.5 at the latest (this is set by the hospital, not me)
    I have heard that the placenta starts to degrade after full term is reached, at which pace though I don't know. I am guessing that if the placenta is degrading then the oxygen level is lower the longer you go. My SIL got induced due to higher BP at just one day after full term, and her placenta was apparently at the "age" of a 42 week pregnancy. Maybe there is some correlation between increasing BP later in 3rd tri and a degrading placenta.

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  • Now I'm worried my mother and grandmother both had babies "late" My mom had c sections at 42 weeks. I'm worried I'm going to follow suit and have late babies too... But I suppose they could have had dates wrong. I'll ask my midwives on Wednsday but how late will a midwife typically let you go? I tracked my temperature etc and I'm sure of my ovulation date within a day. So I'm confident of how many weeks along I am. I'm also not looking forward to Christmas. I feel like a scrooge.... But first grand baby in both sides. I'll have to use all of the previous suggestions on standing my ground on number of acceptable gifts/quality over quantity. Fun times!
  • I have another stupid question. I didn't get the "approved/not approved" list of meds from my doc. I woke up with a head cold today but I'm not sure what I'm allowed to take, if anything. I read that Airborne is not approved for pregnancy. Is mucinex or Tylenol cold & sinus okay?




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  • @nicole mackenzie, My mom was exactly 2 weeks late with all 3 of us. So we were charting and temping and OPKing with DD as it took 8 years to conceive her. We did the same for this baby to. What I've figured out is when I ovulate it's always 2weeks later than what the perfect 28 day OB cycle says it should be. DD was 2weeks late by OBs wheel, and 2days late by my dates, (I was in labour on my due date but thought I had the flu, and didn't realize it was labour until the next day). So women in my family ovulate late, I totally believe it's hereditary.
  • I have another stupid question. I didn't get the "approved/not approved" list of meds from my doc. I woke up with a head cold today but I'm not sure what I'm allowed to take, if anything. I read that Airborne is not approved for pregnancy. Is mucinex or Tylenol cold & sinus okay?

    Tylenol and Tylenol PM are okay, as is Benadryl. I believe Mucinex is NOT, and I'm not sure about the Tylenol C&S.
    image
    DD 2/21/2012 & DS 4/1/2014
  • @Mrs+Herbert the list my OB gave me is almost identical to this one https://www.babycenter.com/0_chart-over-the-counter-medications-during-pregnancy_1486462.bc

    I use it all the time but I'm not a doctor (as I'm supposed to say) ;)
  • @nicole mackenzie, My mom was exactly 2 weeks late with all 3 of us. So we were charting and temping and OPKing with DD as it took 8 years to conceive her. We did the same for this baby to. What I've figured out is when I ovulate it's always 2weeks later than what the perfect 28 day OB cycle says it should be. DD was 2weeks late by OBs wheel, and 2days late by my dates, (I was in labour on my due date but thought I had the flu, and didn't realize it was labour until the next day). So women in my family ovulate late, I totally believe it's hereditary.

    I didn't think of that. I don't ovulate until day 20-22 so maybe my mom didn't either... So based on her LMP we were all "late" when maybe we were really right on time...

    And I know every pregnancy is going to be different as well, but I'm a worrier...

  • not to freak anyone out, but did you guys see this article today (speaking of Tylenol)? Clearly states occasional use is ok, but scary nonetheless.... https://www.nbcnews.com/health/kids-health/pain-pill-pregnancy-may-raise-childs-adhd-risk-study-finds-n37206
  • and to be clear, the study wasn't exactly conclusive...I just happened to read it today so I thought I'd throw it out there
  • and to be clear, the study wasn't exactly conclusive...I just happened to read it today so I thought I'd throw it out there

    Interesting. DH and I both have it, our kid is royally screwed. I've been doing lots of research on how to deal without medication since I hated the way I felt when I was on my meds.

     

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  • How are you ladies dealing with swelling in your feet and ankles?  I'm drinking as much water as I can stand (more, really), trying to stay off my feet and keep them elevated, and watching my sodium intake.  Had to buy a cheapy new pair of shoes the other day because I couldn't fit my right foot into my regular shoes anymore, even with the laces all loosened. =/  I'm trying to gently massage them, but it's difficult to when even the feel of water falling from the shower head onto my feet makes them hurt. *cringe* Seriously considering wrapping them in bags of frozen veggies since I have no way to make ice packs at the moment. 
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  •  

    Check out my 2 favorite sites: Big Girl Bras: https://www.biggerbras.com Lady Grace: https://www.ladygrace.com They have all sorts of sizes, and many inexpensive soft cup options.
    You're a superstar! Some of those are so much less expensive than what I have been finding in local stores. There aren't a ton of options where I live and I just couldn't see dropping that kind of money to only use it for another month or 2 and then need to get more again when milk comes in.
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  • jgreig83 said:


    vidkeo said:


    spano41 said:



    The general consensus in the medical field is that the placenta begins deteriorating around 40w, and by 42w is no longer doing it's job effectively (paraphrasing somewhat what I remember from my first pregnancy). So past 42w it's generally not considered safe or healthy for the baby to stay inside any longer. Assuming no other risk factors of course, like health issues for the mother that may impact the baby. Vaginal births are still preferred over sections for the health and safety of both baby and mother, so instead of just having a section, the mother is induced.

    That is my totally non-expert explanation of inductions, to the best of my understanding.

    Adding to this. From what I understand from friends in the medical field, my OB ad Bradley instructor, it's problematic to say the placenta isn't working effectively because - like so many things in pregnancy - there have been no studies done on the deterioration rate of the placenta because they won't let mothers go beyond a certain point in pregnancy for fear of malpractice etc. Yes, the placenta is preparing to no longer be necessary, but there isn't actually any data to say "past 42 weeks your baby is at risk because your placenta isn't functioning well." Again, I'm not an expert, this is just what I've goin out by poking around and having lots of contacts in the infant medical field.

    I plan on doing everything I can to push off being induced as long as possible.

    Also, the rate of still birth doubles after you hit 42 weeks for whatever reason....maybe placenta related, maybe not....so most doctors don't want to take chances risking a still birth.  Granted, the rate goes from slim, to slightly less slim, but it does increase drastically.

    And of course if you google, you only hear of the ones that are born still at around 42 weeks rather than the ones that are perfectly fine after that time period - I think the info is very skewed!

    That said, being PGAL I am terrified of going overdue - my head knows that its most likely fine and the risk is minimal, but I just cant bring myself to go later than 42 weeks. So while I will do almost anything to avoid induction, I will be induced at 41.5 at the latest (this is set by the hospital, not me)



    I have heard that the placenta starts to degrade after full term is reached, at which pace though I don't know. I am guessing that if the placenta is degrading then the oxygen level is lower the longer you go. My SIL got induced due to higher BP at just one day after full term, and her placenta was apparently at the "age" of a 42 week pregnancy. Maybe there is some correlation between increasing BP later in 3rd tri and a degrading placenta.

    Increased BP during pregnancy does lead to a faster degrading placenta. Less oxygen/blood etc. crosses the placenta and can lead to growth issues. I'm dealing with high BP right now and if it continues to go up I'll be induced as it would be better for LO on the outside.

  • Although pain is relative, how badly does the epidural hurt? I imagine a thick needle going into your spine is pretty dreadful.

    I've only had a spinal, but the needle and placement are the same so I imagine it's comparable... They give you a numbing agent which feels like bee stings first, then a BIG pinch with the actual huge needle, but mostly just really intense pressure on your spine. Honestly I really do not remember thinking it hurt all that badly at all.
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    DD 2/21/2012 & DS 4/1/2014
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