Longest Thread EVER! (aka Random Thoughts Thread )

katieharpiceland · February 2014

Lindsay808 said:

Just went to my ob appt at 31w6d and they said they'll see me in 3 weeks. Hmm. I guess I won't be doing the every two weeks thing? :-/

My midwife does every 3 weeks until the last month :-)

thomas930 · February 2014

@aviola329 many ((hugs)) to you. I will continue to keep you and Tommy in my prayers. I'm glad that the scans came back with some good news.

BiggerinRealLife · February 2014

@aviola329 Thanks for the update hon. You're still in my prayers!

J&NL · February 2014

MrsStanton87 said:
Those of you ladies who will have a cosleeper or crib in your room, how late are you waiting to set up the cosleeper/crib? We're 'sidecarring' the crib to our bed, and know it would be in the way, but I am so anxious to set it up and get it ready. Also, I was thinking it would be good to start getting used to it being in the way.

I'll probably set it up when I feel like I'm close to going into labor. I hate clutter so I know it'll get on my nerves if I set it up now.

RocksInTheWater · February 2014

Thanks for the update @aviola329. I hope you are able to have the delivery you want and things go well with little Tommy.

BiggerinRealLife · February 2014

Ladies, we may hit 20k comments today.

J&NL · February 2014

Speaking of blogs, does anyone blog anymore? I had one with DD and then stopped writing in it when DDs dad and I split up. I was thinking about starting up a new one if I can ever get my computer working again.

Mamamonzo · February 2014

I feel like today I just can't function. Both hips hurt, so which side do I lay on? When I sit up the head in my rib cage pushes out and makes it impossible to breathe, my hands and arms keep going numb, and I'm so hungry 15 minutes after eating. :-<

Bluebird2318 · February 2014

UGH. Ugly crying.

( I'm sorry ladies, I have to vent.

My mom (who is currently visiting us) and I were at home watching DD and DH came home for lunch like usual. DH brings up buying a new computer since we'll be bringing in more money now. He mentioned awhile back that he wanted a new one (he upgrades practically every year because he's big on gaming technology) and when we had that conversation I said that since we were in the middle of a move we should probably table it for a bit until we get the moving expenses paid off and then see what the new salary is like before committing to another $4000 computer (not an exaggeration). For all intents and purposes we've finished paying off the move, so this time I just said "okay, let's wait until your last paycheck drops this month and then we'll see where we're at with everything paid off." Of course my mom just had to make some snarky-ass comment like "says the girl who has never worked more than part-time!" She wasn't intending to be mean, but it sparked a 10-minute conversation talking about how I have it easy and never have to do anything. They were mostly joking, but as soon as he went back to work and mom stepped out to pick up some lunch I just started bawling.

Most days I do think I have it easier than DH does (DD is at a pretty reasonable age right now), but I don't think it needs to be thrown in my face like that. I feel guilty and worthless (by modern standards) all the time that I wasn't able to finish my degree before DD was born (DD was a surprise pregnancy and my degree required a long study abroad) and still don't have a degree. Me staying at home is what is best for us right now because DH makes plenty for us to live on, whereas we couldn't really afford daycare for two young children if I were currently working (no degree and don't have years of working experience). We couldn't afford me going to work right now whether I wanted to or not, so I really don't see the point in belittling what I am able to do, even in jest.

Still freaking ugly crying.

(

Bluebird2318 · February 2014

@KendraColesaw Ugh. I would desperately want to TP anyone who thought my pregnancy was more their business than my own. People need to get a fucking grip.

Bluebird2318 · February 2014

@jellysparkles Thank you! Sometimes I feel like (in DH's mind at least) there are two types of SAHMS: a) domestic martyrs who are completely swamped and never have any free time and b) lazy bums who don't want to do anything but sit around at eat bonbons. It's like "well since you're not 'type a' you must be 'type b!'" It's just ridiculous. He's not a tremendous jerk to me about it, but I think he sometimes has that "if there are dishes in the sink, you must be slacking on chores" kind of mentality.

fourthnlast · February 2014

Took all 3 kids to the dentist this morning, not a smart decision. We were there for way too long, everyone was cranky and I should have made separate appointments for sure. Lesson learned!

J&NL · February 2014

dani+california said:

Bluebird2318 said:
UGH. Ugly crying. ( I'm sorry ladies, I have to vent.

My mom (who is currently visiting us) and I were at home watching DD and DH came home for lunch like usual. DH brings up buying a new computer since we'll be bringing in more money now. He mentioned awhile back that he wanted a new one (he upgrades practically every year because he's big on gaming technology) and when we had that conversation I said that since we were in the middle of a move we should probably table it for a bit until we get the moving expenses paid off and then see what the new salary is like before committing to another $4000 computer (not an exaggeration). For all intents and purposes we've finished paying off the move, so this time I just said "okay, let's wait until your last paycheck drops this month and then we'll see where we're at with everything paid off." Of course my mom just had to make some snarky-ass comment like "says the girl who has never worked more than part-time!" She wasn't intending to be mean, but it sparked a 10-minute conversation talking about how I have it easy and never have to do anything. They were mostly joking, but as soon as he went back to work and mom stepped out to pick up some lunch I just started bawling.

Most days I do think I have it easier than DH does (DD is at a pretty reasonable age right now), but I don't think it needs to be thrown in my face like that. I feel guilty and worthless (by modern standards) all the time that I wasn't able to finish my degree before DD was born (DD was a surprise pregnancy and my degree required a long study abroad) and still don't have a degree. Me staying at home is what is best for us right now because DH makes plenty for us to live on, whereas we couldn't really afford daycare for two young children if I were currently working (no degree and don't have years of working experience). We couldn't afford me going to work right now whether I wanted to or not, so I really don't see the point in belittling what I am able to do, even in jest.

Still freaking ugly crying. (
((Hugs)) Your 'value' doesn't stem from how much money you bring to the table. Any asshole can make money. It doesn't automatically make them a good parent, a good partner, a good person.

Know that what you contribute every day has no monetary value. You provide a loving and stable home for your daughter and husband, just in a different way than your husband contributes himself. No one is 'better' than the other, just different.

When you've calmed down, try telling your husband how his comments made you feel-even if he was joking. I'm sure he didn't mean to be rude, but letting him know would help you avoid future situations like this. Feel better!

All of this. Money doesn't define how much someone contributes and being married, you have every right to voice your opinion about him making such a huge purchase. That was rude of the both of them.

Mamamonzo · February 2014

ColleenSwerb said:
@bluebird2318
I loved that out of commiseration. Our finances are tight right now and every time DH comments about it I get overly emotional because I'm a SAHM. I got laid off during DS's pregnancy and I still have issues over it, feeling like a disappointment and a failure. I tried to start a photography business and it's really gone no where because I have no confidence in myself and feel like I have no time to do anything while caring for DS and the house. And by the end of the day I'm exhausted. I have horrible time management skills and that really hurts me in the whole "self employment" aspect.

I would absolutely have gotten upset with them over that. It was rude of your mother comment like that.

I feel you both! When DH mentions how tired he is from working so many extra hours I feel so guilty I'm not working right now. It's our only option with all the restrictions, plus who's going to hire a pregnant woman?

We just found water damage on the celing from all the snow, I have this horrible black cloud hanging over me knowing it's going to be a costly fix and it all has to come from one paycheck. Not to mention we're paying off thousands of dollars in student loans for a degree I'm not even using!

hlm184 · February 2014

Little bit freaked out.

We just got an option to get back to living where we want to - no more moving all the time. Only thing is it will totally flop around our life plans. In our current situation, DH works and I will SAHM and homeschool. To get back where we want to live, I'd be the breadwinner and DH would SAHD and homeschool.

We don't have to decide for a few years, but need to make a few preps so that in a few years if we want to go that route we can. I just never thought it would be feasible so it wasn't on my radar at all!

kseccomb17 · February 2014

@bluebird2318 that comment would've gotten to me too! Sometimes I feel like I'm inadequate because I don't bring in money. I didn't finish my degree either, because I got a license in a different industry. I hated that job and it was really hard on my health. DH doesn't make me feel like I'm any less because of it, but I still can't help but feel guilty.Like you, it doesn't make any financial sense for me to work right now. I didn't say anything helpful, but I really can sympathize.

kseccomb17 · February 2014

@KendraColeslaw slap a hoe.

Bluebird2318 · February 2014

Thank you, @KendraColeslaw! I like to think that you are right!

@ColleenSwerb I too use the "love it" button as an "I feel your pain" button on occasion. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with the same thing. I think people like to forget that we are just dealing with the circumstances we are given. I feel you on the time management issue as well. Mine has been terrible since moving, especially with this third trimester fatigue kicking my ass on the regular.

Sisimama10 · February 2014

jennypenny1014 said:

Sisimama10 said:
Went into preterm labor tonight at 31 weeks. Got to the hospital with contractions two mins apart. Fetal fibronectin was positive. Plus bleeding. They're keeping me at least until tomorrow night. I'm crazy emotional right now. Totally expected them to send me home. Since I've already been here twice for contractions I thought they would give me the terbutaline and send me home like last time. I didn't even bring my hospital bag! I'm missing my little bear so much right now. :-(
OMG CROSS YOUR LEGS! lol Seriously though - I hope you two are ok! Have you thoughtof anything that ccould've triggered it? Or do they suspect anything? Please keep us posted! WTF BABY YOU HAVE 9 WEEKS LEFT!

*biiiiig hugs*

ETA: I'm posting before reading responses, so please excuse my latency/redundancy should the answers already be on a later page.

Nope no clue what is causing it. My fluid is good and everything. He just wants to be a winter baby I guess! This is the third time. I've never been admitted before though. It's SOOO boring laying here all day! As a preschool teacher and mom of a preschooler I never stop moving and don't know what to do with myself!

thomas930 · February 2014

Mamamonzo said:

@bluebird2318 I loved that out of commiseration. Our finances are tight right now and every time DH comments about it I get overly emotional because I'm a SAHM. I got laid off during DS's pregnancy and I still have issues over it, feeling like a disappointment and a failure. I tried to start a photography business and it's really gone no where because I have no confidence in myself and feel like I have no time to do anything while caring for DS and the house. And by the end of the day I'm exhausted. I have horrible time management skills and that really hurts me in the whole "self employment" aspect. I would absolutely have gotten upset with them over that. It was rude of your mother comment like that.
I feel you both! When DH mentions how tired he is from working so many extra hours I feel so guilty I'm not working right now. It's our only option with all the restrictions, plus who's going to hire a pregnant woman? We just found water damage on the celing from all the snow, I have this horrible black cloud hanging over me knowing it's going to be a costly fix and it all has to come from one paycheck. Not to mention we're paying off thousands of dollars in student loans for a degree I'm not even using!

I have the SAHM guilt too. I know DH feels a lot of pressure to provide for us and I always feel bad when he can't get something he wants or has to wait a long time for it. I also have a ton of student loans and I'm not even using the education I got. We had to make the decision to put our entire tax refund towards one of my loans...on one hand I'm happy to have paid a chunk of debt (about 8k worth) but we had so many other plans for that money for this year.

Bluebird, it was really wrong what they said to you and I'm sorry they hurt you. I would have been hurt too. You do a lot for your family by being home.

Sisimama10 · February 2014

ColleenSwerb said:
I'm an emotional disaster today. Blue's post triggered all my shit again (NO WORRIES HON, totally not your fault, happens every few months). We can't afford to split our bedroom right now, and I'm really upset that we won't have that done before 2.0 gets here.
DH and I are both just at a bit of a loss as to where the fuck our money goes some months. I need to start tracking my spending religiously and find ways to cut shit that's unnecessary. I always feel like spending issues are my fault. Although SIL owes like 4 months of cell phone bills, so that certainly doesn't help.

::sigh::

I feel this way all the time even though I'm the one making more and we have two incomes. I get really stressed and crazy every month about not being able to pay bills and things being so tight always. Hugs.

thomas930 · February 2014

@colleenswerb ((hugs)) girl. My anexity is through the roof because of our finances right now too.

sking72 · February 2014

LO just kicked me so hard she almost rolled me over! Slight exaggeration but damn it was a solid thrust!

Emily041285 · February 2014

Eek. My work schedule keeps getting busier and busier until April. I'm getting a little panicked that I'm not going to get it all done.

Also, making a dinner DH doesn't like tonight, but I've been thinking about it for a week. It's finally gotten to the point where the desire to satisfy my craving is worse than my desire to not listento him whine about what I made.

Bluebird2318 · February 2014

@mamamonzo I am sorry! Your situation is absolutely not your fault either. We are actually dealing with a water damage issue ourselves in the home we were renting from my cousin prior to moving here. Long story short: we contacted her when we were completely out of the residence and she let us know when she'd be in to take care of business with the house. Apparently she went a week later than she said she was going to and some of the pipes had frozen and burst. We left the heat running when we moved, but it was shut off some time between then and when she actually showed up. In hindsight I wish we had all been more clear in our communication, but at the time it seemed like there was nothing more to say. We're waiting to see what the repairs amount to after homeowner's insurance. We paid a security deposit when we moved in, so hopefully that covers some of the cost. Due to the circumstances, we have no idea how much of the cost we will end up being responsible for since it wasn't a simple case of neglect on our part.

I still have tons of student loans as well that we haven't started paying off yet (they're in forbearance). Planning to start next year when our medical bills from this baby, our remaining credit card debt, and the remainder of his student loans are paid off.

@kseccomb17 Thank you! Sympathy is just as welcome as advice! God knows we all need sympathy sometimes.

eireyes · February 2014

@KendraColeslaw I loved it because I know how you feel! DH and I wanted to have something of our own (and no one else's) to share with this pregnancy, and the name has been that thing. We've had a few comments from non-family, and DH's boss is nuts about trying to figure it out. You're a better person than I am, I probably would have said something snarky right then and there.

I'm with you though - monogrammed stuff just isn't my cup of tea for the most part. The only 'monogrammed' thing we have is the button letter that I made for Peanut's room, and I plan on doing that for every kid so they have their own - they'll be sharing everything else via hand-me-down if I have my way!

eireyes · February 2014

ColleenSwerb said:

I'm an emotional disaster today. Blue's post triggered all my shit again (NO WORRIES HON, totally not your fault, happens every few months). We can't afford to split our bedroom right now, and I'm really upset that we won't have that done before 2.0 gets here. DH and I are both just at a bit of a loss as to where the fuck our money goes some months. I need to start tracking my spending religiously and find ways to cut shit that's unnecessary. I always feel like spending issues are my fault. Although SIL owes like 4 months of cell phone bills, so that certainly doesn't help. ::sigh::

I use Mint.com to help track the spending. If you have online banking and the likes it pulls it all together and helps you create a budget. I actually should use it more religiously than I do right now... *sigh*

Bluebird2318 · February 2014

ColleenSwerb said:

I'm an emotional disaster today. Blue's post triggered all my shit again (NO WORRIES HON, totally not your fault, happens every few months). We can't afford to split our bedroom right now, and I'm really upset that we won't have that done before 2.0 gets here. DH and I are both just at a bit of a loss as to where the fuck our money goes some months. I need to start tracking my spending religiously and find ways to cut shit that's unnecessary. I always feel like spending issues are my fault. Although SIL owes like 4 months of cell phone bills, so that certainly doesn't help. ::sigh::

@ColleenSwerb I know how you feel there too! We had to do some serious budget revisions prior to DH getting this promotion. It did help and the promotion has lessened our long-run worries somewhat, but of course extra financial issues came just at the same time (cost of moving, the burst pipes issue I mentioned in my last post, etc.) so we aren't out of the woods yet even with a considerably increased salary. His company was supposed to give us $10,000 to cover moving costs, but due to a series of events (bureaucratic bullshittery and loopholes) we won't be seeing it until June/July-ish so until then we're doing what we can to recoup from the extra "debt." I hope you and DH are able to figure out some budget cuts that work for you. Money issues are the worst.

fourthnlast · February 2014

Mamamonzo said:

@bluebird2318 I loved that out of commiseration. Our finances are tight right now and every time DH comments about it I get overly emotional because I'm a SAHM. I got laid off during DS's pregnancy and I still have issues over it, feeling like a disappointment and a failure. I tried to start a photography business and it's really gone no where because I have no confidence in myself and feel like I have no time to do anything while caring for DS and the house. And by the end of the day I'm exhausted. I have horrible time management skills and that really hurts me in the whole "self employment" aspect. I would absolutely have gotten upset with them over that. It was rude of your mother comment like that.
I feel you both! When DH mentions how tired he is from working so many extra hours I feel so guilty I'm not working right now. It's our only option with all the restrictions, plus who's going to hire a pregnant woman? We just found water damage on the celing from all the snow, I have this horrible black cloud hanging over me knowing it's going to be a costly fix and it all has to come from one paycheck. Not to mention we're paying off thousands of dollars in student loans for a degree I'm not even using!

I hear you on the water damage, we woke up yesterday to a leaking ceiling. Not fun. It's going to cost more for our insurance deductible than it will be for DH to fix it, but still, that room was supposed to be turned into our new room and now I have no idea when that will happen or where this baby and all of the baby crap is going to go. Stressed.

fourthnlast · February 2014

jellysparkles said:

@jellysparkles Thank you! Sometimes I feel like (in DH's mind at least) there are two types of SAHMS: a) domestic martyrs who are completely swamped and never have any free time and b) lazy bums who don't want to do anything but sit around at eat bonbons. It's like "well since you're not 'type a' you must be 'type b!'" It's just ridiculous. He's not a tremendous jerk to me about it, but I think he sometimes has that "if there are dishes in the sink, you must be slacking on chores" kind of mentality.
Yeah, I know my H gets frustrated sometimes when I let things go and we end up having a few often tense words in that moment, but at the same time he's happy that he never has to worry about if he'll have clean underwear or something readily available to throw in his lunchbox. Me being available to DD 24/7 also opens him up to being more valuable at work since he can work all sorts of weird shifts on a whim, as opposed to when I was working, which really dictated our schedules since culinary degrees don't get you jobs that fit neatly into daycare hours. It's a complicated dynamic these days, for sure.

Yes. Some days the husband may get frustrated because I have let things go, but he also knows that I'm available 24/7 for kid things, dr appointments and clean underwear and a wife who packs his lunch is a plus. He's a network admin and also works crazy hours at times, so it's another perk to not have to worry about day care.

Mamamonzo · February 2014

Blah! You can tell it's a Monday by all our posts!

fourthnlast · February 2014

ColleenSwerb said:

I'm an emotional disaster today. Blue's post triggered all my shit again (NO WORRIES HON, totally not your fault, happens every few months). We can't afford to split our bedroom right now, and I'm really upset that we won't have that done before 2.0 gets here. DH and I are both just at a bit of a loss as to where the fuck our money goes some months. I need to start tracking my spending religiously and find ways to cut shit that's unnecessary. I always feel like spending issues are my fault. Although SIL owes like 4 months of cell phone bills, so that certainly doesn't help. ::sigh::

Story of my life lately. Where the fuck is all of this money going?! DH makes more now than when we were both working, but somehow we are struggling even more? I don't get it. Something we are working on, but it fucking sucks.

eireyes · February 2014

@Jessieann1020 is that from BRU? I swear we have the same one!

fourthnlast · February 2014

ColleenSwerb said:

Thanks Dani! I'll check that out for sure. It can't hurt anyway! Thanks guys. Money makes everything difficult when you feel like there isn't enough of it. I coupon, and scrimp and save where I can, we buy in bulk when there are good deals, we price compare all the time. Sometimes it feels like I can't do any MORE, but I'm sure I could. We'll be ok. Just one of those days.

This is me. So much. I feel like I'm trying to do so much to save, but somehow more $$$ needs to come out and I don't know what else to do. I cry every time I have to fill my insulin prescriptions ($100) because I feel horrible about spending that money, even though the husband tells me not to worry about it, I still do

fourthnlast · February 2014

P&B715 said:

@mamamonzo I am sorry! Your situation is absolutely not your fault either. We are actually dealing with a water damage issue ourselves in the home we were renting from my cousin prior to moving here. Long story short: we contacted her when we were completely out of the residence and she let us know when she'd be in to take care of business with the house. Apparently she went a week later than she said she was going to and some of the pipes had frozen and burst. We left the heat running when we moved, but it was shut off some time between then and when she actually showed up. In hindsight I wish we had all been more clear in our communication, but at the time it seemed like there was nothing more to say. We're waiting to see what the repairs amount to after homeowner's insurance. We paid a security deposit when we moved in, so hopefully that covers some of the cost. Due to the circumstances, we have no idea how much of the cost we will end up being responsible for since it wasn't a simple case of neglect on our part.

I still have tons of student loans as well that we haven't started paying off yet (they're in forbearance). Planning to start next year when our medical bills from this baby, our remaining credit card debt, and the remainder of his student loans are paid off.

@kseccomb17 Thank you! Sympathy is just as welcome as advice! God knows we all need sympathy sometimes.
Can I just butt in for a moment? I work for student loan guarantor. Can you get on Income based repayment? I'm saying this because forbearance you're accruing so much interest and with IBR with your zero income you can get a $0 payment, you have to reapply every year, but it goes based off your income. Also if you have all your loans with different companies you may want to consolidate too with dept of Ed. Please excuse me for over crossing boundaries or stepping on toes. I just see it all the time, and I have to give my knowledge.

We do that for my husband's student loans, I have no idea how else we would pay them, but it's been a miracle to have that income based!!

Bluebird2318 · February 2014

P&B715 said:

@mamamonzo I am sorry! Your situation is absolutely not your fault either. We are actually dealing with a water damage issue ourselves in the home we were renting from my cousin prior to moving here. Long story short: we contacted her when we were completely out of the residence and she let us know when she'd be in to take care of business with the house. Apparently she went a week later than she said she was going to and some of the pipes had frozen and burst. We left the heat running when we moved, but it was shut off some time between then and when she actually showed up. In hindsight I wish we had all been more clear in our communication, but at the time it seemed like there was nothing more to say. We're waiting to see what the repairs amount to after homeowner's insurance. We paid a security deposit when we moved in, so hopefully that covers some of the cost. Due to the circumstances, we have no idea how much of the cost we will end up being responsible for since it wasn't a simple case of neglect on our part.

I still have tons of student loans as well that we haven't started paying off yet (they're in forbearance). Planning to start next year when our medical bills from this baby, our remaining credit card debt, and the remainder of his student loans are paid off.

@kseccomb17 Thank you! Sympathy is just as welcome as advice! God knows we all need sympathy sometimes.
Can I just butt in for a moment? I work for student loan guarantor. Can you get on Income based repayment? I'm saying this because forbearance you're accruing so much interest and with IBR with your zero income you can get a $0 payment, you have to reapply every year, but it goes based off your income. Also if you have all your loans with different companies you may want to consolidate too with dept of Ed. Please excuse me for over crossing boundaries or stepping on toes. I just see it all the time, and I have to give my knowledge.

@P&B715 I actually did speak with someone from my loan office (for lack of a better word) about an IBR plan prior to requesting the forbearance, but they did factor my husband's income into the equation (maybe it would be different if I wasn't married?) so they were able to reduce my payments to $200-something a month, but I wasn't able to get a $0 payment unfortunately. It's possible that if we can get some of these other financial things under control we will end the forbearance early and start repaying my loans with an IBR plan this summer.

spano41 · February 2014

P&B715 said:

Bluebird2318 said:
@mamamonzo I am sorry! Your situation is absolutely not your fault either. We are actually dealing with a water damage issue ourselves in the home we were renting from my cousin prior to moving here. Long story short: we contacted her when we were completely out of the residence and she let us know when she'd be in to take care of business with the house. Apparently she went a week later than she said she was going to and some of the pipes had frozen and burst. We left the heat running when we moved, but it was shut off some time between then and when she actually showed up. In hindsight I wish we had all been more clear in our communication, but at the time it seemed like there was nothing more to say. We're waiting to see what the repairs amount to after homeowner's insurance. We paid a security deposit when we moved in, so hopefully that covers some of the cost. Due to the circumstances, we have no idea how much of the cost we will end up being responsible for since it wasn't a simple case of neglect on our part.

I still have tons of student loans as well that we haven't started paying off yet (they're in forbearance). Planning to start next year when our medical bills from this baby, our remaining credit card debt, and the remainder of his student loans are paid off.

@kseccomb17 Thank you! Sympathy is just as welcome as advice! God knows we all need sympathy sometimes.
Can I just butt in for a moment? I work for student loan guarantor. Can you get on Income based repayment? I'm saying this because forbearance you're accruing so much interest and with IBR with your zero income you can get a $0 payment, you have to reapply every year, but it goes based off your income. Also if you have all your loans with different companies you may want to consolidate too with dept of Ed. Please excuse me for over crossing boundaries or stepping on toes. I just see it all the time, and I have to give my knowledge.

This! We racked up so many fees because we didn't know about all of the income based options for DH'S loans. Also, @P&B715 correct me if I'm wrong, but if you start paying them back under IBR they will be forgiven after 20 years (10 years if you do public service) which might make a difference depending on how much you owe. I kick myself for not looking into options sooner than we did. At the time it seemed so hopeless but they do work with you.

snmetz7 · February 2014

our situation is a bit reversed. my husband lost his job recently and he wasn't making enough to justify him working to begin with. it would have all gone to day care. however my income is BARELY enough to cover everything. we need espacially after baby gets here and we add insurance ($200 a month). so we need to think of some way for DH to generate income from home. (because me getting a raise in my current position is impossible and I don't qualify for the next position up yet. ) so if anyone has any ideas.... we'd be happy to hear them

Bluebird2318 · February 2014

spano41 said:

@mamamonzo I am sorry! Your situation is absolutely not your fault either. We are actually dealing with a water damage issue ourselves in the home we were renting from my cousin prior to moving here. Long story short: we contacted her when we were completely out of the residence and she let us know when she'd be in to take care of business with the house. Apparently she went a week later than she said she was going to and some of the pipes had frozen and burst. We left the heat running when we moved, but it was shut off some time between then and when she actually showed up. In hindsight I wish we had all been more clear in our communication, but at the time it seemed like there was nothing more to say. We're waiting to see what the repairs amount to after homeowner's insurance. We paid a security deposit when we moved in, so hopefully that covers some of the cost. Due to the circumstances, we have no idea how much of the cost we will end up being responsible for since it wasn't a simple case of neglect on our part.

I still have tons of student loans as well that we haven't started paying off yet (they're in forbearance). Planning to start next year when our medical bills from this baby, our remaining credit card debt, and the remainder of his student loans are paid off.

@kseccomb17 Thank you! Sympathy is just as welcome as advice! God knows we all need sympathy sometimes.
Can I just butt in for a moment? I work for student loan guarantor. Can you get on Income based repayment? I'm saying this because forbearance you're accruing so much interest and with IBR with your zero income you can get a $0 payment, you have to reapply every year, but it goes based off your income. Also if you have all your loans with different companies you may want to consolidate too with dept of Ed. Please excuse me for over crossing boundaries or stepping on toes. I just see it all the time, and I have to give my knowledge.
This! We racked up so many fees because we didn't know about all of the income based options for DH'S loans. Also, @P&B715 correct me if I'm wrong, but if you start paying them back under IBR they will be forgiven after 20 years (10 years if you do public service) which might make a difference depending on how much you owe. I kick myself for not looking into options sooner than we did. At the time it seemed so hopeless but they do work with you.

Yes! We were told the same thing: make payments for 20 years and the rest is forgiven. Unfortunately at the time we began the forbearance even the $200-some a month was too much for us. We may start repaying them in the middle of this year depending on the status of the rest of our debt. I know having another dependent will shift the payments lower, at least for the remainder of this year before DH gets his first W2s after being promoted. Either way I'm sure we'll still qualify for IBR and we'll start plugging away at our 20 years.

Mamamonzo · February 2014

snmetz7 said:
our situation is a bit reversed. my husband lost his job recently and he wasn't making enough to justify him working to begin with. it would have all gone to day care. however my income is BARELY enough to cover everything. we need espacially after baby gets here and we add insurance ($200 a month). so we need to think of some way for DH to generate income from home. (because me getting a raise in my current position is impossible and I don't qualify for the next position up yet. ) so if anyone has any ideas.... we'd be happy to hear them

Start turning tricks on the street? That's my plan when I get my pre baby body back.

Sorry I had to lighten the mood!

Want a personalized experience?

Longest Thread EVER! (aka Random Thoughts Thread )

Re: Longest Thread EVER! (aka Random Thoughts Thread )

Choose Another Board

Search Boards