Longest Thread EVER! (aka Random Thoughts Thread )

Bluebird2318

@snmetz7 Is there anything, anything at all, that you can possibly cut from your budget? With DH and I one of our biggest problems was spending way too much on food (we spent hundreds of dollars a month eating out; it was ridiculous). I was surprised by how much that actually helped. 

Stace0616

I'd be happy to hear those work from home ideas too! DH makes enough for us to cover all of our bills, but not the groceries and discretionary spending. My unemployment helps us break even, but that will only stretch until July. We have enough in savings that we could make it work through the end of the year, but then I need income again. It doesn't help that we are getting pressure from both my mom and MIL to "make it work" for me to stay home, but we live in Minneapolis and this isn't 1985. Need. Moneyz!!

RocksInTheWater

Bluebird2318 said:

@snmetz7 Is there anything, anything at all, that you can possibly cut from your budget? With DH and I one of our biggest problems was spending way too much on food (we spent hundreds of dollars a month eating out; it was ridiculous). I was surprised by how much that actually helped. 

This is totally us.  We have had a lot of unexpected expenses lately and are thinking ahead about how to are going to factor in daycare plus a new car that we will be needing around summer time.  If we took a good look at how much we spend on food, it would be a real eye opener.  That is definitely an area where we can cut down on spending.  We eat out way too much.

snmetz7

Bluebird2318 said:

@snmetz7 Is there anything, anything at all, that you can possibly cut from your budget? With DH and I one of our biggest problems was spending way too much on food (we spent hundreds of dollars a month eating out; it was ridiculous). I was surprised by how much that actually helped. 

we've already cut out all outside eating and we meal plan. if i could get hubs to stop dipping/smoking we'd be saving 60-70 a month but the more stressed he is the more he does it so it's a catch 22 there. we do one "paid" date a month usually a movie or something equally as inexpensive and then the rest of our dates are free. we've really already cut out all of our frivolous spending. the problem is we bought a house that was slightly pushing our budget to begin with and we were doing just fine until he lost his job. *sigh* it is what it is and I know we'll be fine but it is VERY stressful. and it's just going to get worse after baby gets here mostly due to insurance like I said. we're doing everything we can to save money there too ie cloth diapering, bf, etc.

snmetz7

For my mamas of twins hehe

JessieAlbin

I am right there with all of you ladies on the "wtf are we gonna do with our finances while I can't work" front.. But I just can't go there today. This is me thrusting my head in the sand.

Instead, I will AW my wedding photo in which I had cute ankles and thought I was so fat (ugh, what I wouldn't do for that "fat belly"!). One year ago today I married that tall drink of water! :x

kseccomb17

Silly petty, materialistic question!

I just went through all of DD's clothes. We're having a boy this time, and this will be our last baby. What should I keep that would be "okay" to dress him in? We have clothes for him, but her wardrobe is ridiculous. I've never given anything away. Should I keep everything but outfits, or just keep gender neutral?

Bluebird2318

kseccomb17 said:

Silly petty, materialistic question! I just went through all of DD's clothes. We're having a boy this time, and this will be our last baby. What should I keep that would be "okay" to dress him in? We have clothes for him, but her wardrobe is ridiculous. I've never given anything away. Should I keep everything but outfits, or just keep gender neutral?

I went through all of DD's old clothes and set aside anything boyish or neutral for this LO (though he does have his own clothes as well) and then put the rest back in storage to be sold or given away over the summer. Basically anything that wasn't drowning in pink I kept to use for him. 

J&NL

Colleen and the other moms in similar situations, I completely understand! I plan our budget and bills each month but I don't dare look at how much debt we are in because I seriously get depressed. It's tough living paycheck to paycheck and feeling like you can't contribute financially. Planning does make me feel a little bit better though.

irisheyez7

I'm joining you with my head in the sand about the financial thing...

On a lighter note: I got my first terrible Charlie horse that woke me up early this morning. I sat up and started going "Ooooh, ouch" and my husband shot out of bed faster than I have ever seen him move and was like "oh my god, is it go time? is she coming?". He was legit FREAKING out!
It is going to be a LOOOONNNGGGG 6 weeks!

fourthnlast

P&B715 said:

@fourthnlast that's awesome! I tell people about it everyday at work and being in customer service it makes me happy that it actually helps people. @lia619 you're right, it's more than we think too. A lot of people are in denial, or just not into sharing this kind of stuff. We are trying to pay off all CCs before I leave my job in April we are cutting it close I think though especially with all the bills coming up.

When we got the original bill it was over $300 and we had no idea how we were going to come up with that much every month. DH called and the first two years we paid 0 and now we pay $36 a month. It sucked having to swallow some pride to make that call, but so glad he did!

fourthnlast

ColleenSwerb said:

Yea, we never eat out. We make our own pizza even. CD, will BF again. I can't get a job now because 2 in daycare would never be covered by my salary. Etc, etc. We have plenty in savings, but we refuse to touch it (although I really want to, to get this damn bedroom situation done and then pay ourselves back).

I do have to say I'm jealous you have plenty in savings! This is something we need serious help with.

sking72

Me and SO had a huge debate about me going to work (on multiple occasions) and it's ridiculous that if I went to work, pretty much everything I make would go to daycare!

BiggerinRealLife

@Bluebird2318 Ugh. Honey, I'm sorry, that sucks. It's hard when people you love belittle you in a joking way and it happens to be one thing you're really insecure about. It's not like you can call them out without looking like a jerk. I know you married a good man, and would have hoped he picked up on your signals. I'd say it's worth a conversation when you see him next. Not to berate him, but to let him know you know he was joking, but that's a sore spot for you and you could really use him on your side when your mom says stuff like that.

I think you and I have some of the same issues. I changed my career path rendering all my previous class work useless, so I don't have a degree in my field either. It's a big source of insecurity for me, which is part of why I'm so excited to be going back to school. And I've definitely been on that side of a rude comment or two, one notably when I got an awesome promotion at work and my mother-in-law said "wow! And you don't even have a degree!" Throat punch. If I do indeed end up staying home, I'm sure this will become even harder for me, as I've always gotten a lot of my sence of worth in being able to financially contribute to this household. It's going to take a big change in perspective to look at staying home as a contribution.

Anyway, I understand, and don't blame you for being upset. I hope your husband is super sweet to you when he gets home!

Mamamonzo

Once a week I wish I could give my belly to DH to carry around, kind of like a male seahorse. I know he could never handle L&D but damn I want one day of feeling normal!

rockstarlaw

dani+california said:

My family cans maple syrup in Québec and ships it to us here in Ontario.

I just got the latest batch...I definitely just ate like 10 huge spoonfuls of pure maple syrup. I REGRET NOTHING MMMMMM

So. Jealous.

J&NL

We don't even have a savings. It's nearly impossible when you live off one income, especially lower enlisted income. I had a conversation with DHs cousin who is also in the military about it and she says the same thing. You almost have to use credit cards to get things other than food because after bills are paid, you don't have enough money to afford anything else. It sucks! Once I finish nursing school and begin working, I know things will be better but until then I just plan to be swimming in debt because it seems like we pretty much have to be.

BiggerinRealLife

Are we all in finance mode? I have a date with DH to go over the month's budget tonight and have a real conversation about me going back to work vs. staying home and the cost/benefits of each. (We've happily had our heads in the sand and have avoided that last conversation for a few months now.) Worst. Date. Ever.

On a bright note, I got Whole Foods ready-to-eat for lunch and put the chicken curry over mashed potatoes instead if rice. My Indian grandpa is turning over in his grave, but best decision of the day.

spano41

Bluebird2318 said:

spano41 said:

P&B715 said:

Bluebird2318 said:

@mamamonzo I am sorry! Your situation is absolutely not your fault either. We are actually dealing with a water damage issue ourselves in the home we were renting from my cousin prior to moving here. Long story short: we contacted her when we were completely out of the residence and she let us know when she'd be in to take care of business with the house. Apparently she went a week later than she said she was going to and some of the pipes had frozen and burst. We left the heat running when we moved, but it was shut off some time between then and when she actually showed up. In hindsight I wish we had all been more clear in our communication, but at the time it seemed like there was nothing more to say. We're waiting to see what the repairs amount to after homeowner's insurance. We paid a security deposit when we moved in, so hopefully that covers some of the cost. Due to the circumstances, we have no idea how much of the cost we will end up being responsible for since it wasn't a simple case of neglect on our part. 

I still have tons of student loans as well that we haven't started paying off yet (they're in forbearance). Planning to start next year when our medical bills from this baby, our remaining credit card debt, and the remainder of his student loans are paid off. 

@kseccomb17 Thank you! Sympathy is just as welcome as advice! God knows we all need sympathy sometimes.

Can I just butt in for a moment? I work for student loan guarantor. Can you get on Income based repayment? I'm saying this because forbearance you're accruing so much interest and with IBR with your zero income you can get a $0 payment, you have to reapply every year, but it goes based off your income. Also if you have all your loans with different companies you may want to consolidate too with dept of Ed. Please excuse me for over crossing boundaries or stepping on toes. I just see it all the time, and I have to give my knowledge.

This! We racked up so many fees because we didn't know about all of the income based options for DH'S loans. Also, @P&B715 correct me if I'm wrong, but if you start paying them back under IBR they will be forgiven after 20 years (10 years if you do public service) which might make a difference depending on how much you owe. I kick myself for not looking into options sooner than we did. At the time it seemed so hopeless but they do work with you.

Yes! We were told the same thing: make payments for 20 years and the rest is forgiven. Unfortunately at the time we began the forbearance even the $200-some a month was too much for us. We may start repaying them in the middle of this year depending on the status of the rest of our debt. I know having another dependent will shift the payments lower, at least for the remainder of this year before DH gets his first W2s after being promoted. Either way I'm sure we'll still qualify for IBR and we'll start plugging away at our 20 years.

You can count your baby as a dependant even when you're pregnant which is awesome. You can also decrease your payments by filling taxes separately and then they won't count your spouse's income.

jennypenny1014

JessieAlbin said:

I am right there with all of you ladies on the "wtf are we gonna do with our finances while I can't work" front.. But I just can't go there today. This is me thrusting my head in the sand.

Instead, I will AW my wedding photo in which I had cute ankles and thought I was so fat (ugh, what I wouldn't do for that "fat belly"!). One year ago today I married that tall drink of water! :x

Happy anniversary, LB!

irisheyez7

I was about to do my taxes and as I was getting the paperwork together I realized I never got a W2 from unemployment! It's only for the last 3 weeks in Dec but I don't even know who to call for this? Should I just do them anyway and omit the lousy 600 bucks or what?

Stace0616

@irisheyez7 - Do NOT skip that amount! DH found out the hard way that you don't fuck around when it comes to collecting/reporting unemployment. You should be able to log on to your state's unemployment website to pull an electronic copy of your 1099G or at least get the final numbers of amount received/withheld. You have to enter it for state income taxes as well, so if you can't get it online, I'd wait and call the unemployment office tomorrow.

irisheyez7

Stace0616 said:

@irisheyez7 - Do NOT skip that amount! DH found out the hard way that you don't fuck around when it comes to collecting/reporting unemployment. You should be able to log on to your state's unemployment website to pull an electronic copy of your 1099G or at least get the final numbers of amount received/withheld. You have to enter it for state income taxes as well, so if you can't get it online, I'd wait and call the unemployment office tomorrow.

I knew you would know Stace! I'll see if I can find it online. I didn't even think about it poss being on their website...I really hate the state of Illinois!

spano41

It feels like LO is giving my internal organs a massage. Such a weird feeling!

eireyes

BiggerinRealLife said:

On a bright note, I got Whole Foods ready-to-eat for lunch and put the chicken curry over mashed potatoes instead if rice. My Indian grandpa is turning over in his grave, but best decision of the day.

I made tomato chicken curry tonight for dinner! We did put ours over rice though, not mashed potatoes 

Mamamonzo

aronie82 said:

Child Care. We are so fucked. I've been keeping my head in the sand on this one. I absolutely have to work. But I've called day cares and we don't have $800-$1000 a month. I haven't kept in touch with high school friends so I don't know any stay at home mommies. I don't know what to do

What about care.com to hire a nanny? It's really much more affordable than a center.

twinklemoon

I was MIA for three days and I missed a lot on this thread apparently. (oops) Hope all of you have an awesome weekend. Those of you who didn't and had bad ones, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. I sit here back at work, it's 5:29pm in California and I am exhausted. Can't wait to go home. I had maternity pictures taken yesterday and can't wait to see the results.  

sking72

I opened our baby book to look at what exactly it has spaces for and decided the best way for me to find exact dates is to just go back through SOs and my texts. SOs text the night after we found out I was pregnant:
"I should be sleeping, but I can't. I shouldn't be smiling, but I can't not."

Almost cried. Reading through all our old texts were just so cute. Can't believe how much we've gone through

danamarie421

Reading the "How Ready Are You?" thread has pretty much sent me into full on panic mode...I have so much to do before baby gets here....where did the last 7 months go???

Sisimama10

irisheyez7 said:

I was about to do my taxes and as I was getting the paperwork together I realized I never got a W2 from unemployment! It's only for the last 3 weeks in Dec but I don't even know who to call for this? Should I just do them anyway and omit the lousy 600 bucks or what?

They decided not to send them out this year. You have to get your statement online. And then at the very end of your tax return this year it will tell you about their decision not to send them out and you have to check a box if you want one mailed to you next year.

BiggerinRealLife

Freaking hate it when the heartburn is so bad eating sounds like torture, but at the same time I'm so hungry I feel sick.

Sisimama10

KendraColeslaw said:

@sisimama10 how are you doing? Did I miss an update this evening?

Still in the hospital. Still having contractions. My fluid started leaking tonight. and they're hoping my water didn't fully break but they don't really want to check and risk pushing things further. I got my second shot in the butt OUCH!!! to speed up babies lung development. And pretty much just hanging out here. The original plan was to get me stable enough here that I could be transferred home to continue bed rest there for the next 3-4 weeks. Now I'm not sure what the plan is.

Sisimama10

DD with the therapy dog at the hospital. Bright spot in my day.

sarlimes34

i had a few braxton hicks for the first time today. didn't realize that was what it was til afterwards, lol. i've also been have really bad pelvic pain for the past two weeks. the combo together is really uncomfortable. ugh!!

sour gummi bears are quite yummy and the baby approves of them

BiggerinRealLife

@Sisimama10 I'm going to say no bad news is good news??? I'm sorry you're just waiting, that's gotta be frustrating.
And your daughter with the dog is too cute!!! Her little chubby cheeks made my night. That's a hospital owned dog?

Stace0616

Yay taxes!  I'm a few days away from doing battle with the state of MN for part of our return.  Long story short, DH owed $950 to MN unemployment for overpayment they gave him years before I met him.  We were paying monthly, but this year, not only did the IRS send $950 from our federal refund, but the state revenue department sent our entire $428 state return too.  Someone owes me $428, and I'm going to raise hell until it's in our saving account.

Mama needs a new couch.  And potentially a Lazy Boy.  They get a week to fix it, and then I'm unleashing all this pregnancy fury on them!

Sisimama10

BiggerinRealLife said:

@Sisimama10 I'm going to say no bad news is good news??? I'm sorry you're just waiting, that's gotta be frustrating.
And your daughter with the dog is too cute!!! Her little chubby cheeks made my night. That's a hospital owned dog?

Privately owned by a nurse tech but trained and certified as an "employee" of the hospital. They have 6 therapy dogs I believe that work different nights.

JessieAlbin

Apparently I have become so impossible to sleep next to between snoring and kicking/moving in my sleep, that DH just woke me up and insisted one of us needs to sleep on the couch. I am so irrationally upset I have to sleep alone. I hope he can't sleep all fucking night. Happy anniversary, jerk.

Stace0616

I hate that the last thing in my stomach before bed is Tums. Every. Night.

baileymama3

@Sisimama10 I am hoping your lil baby hangs tight in there!! Your little girl is precious with that big dog! Thinking about you!